Kukopeka ndi Maso: Kodi Zimathandiza Bwanji Kumanga Ubale?

Maso ndi mazenera ku moyo ndipo amalankhula zambiri. Mukayesa kupanga kulumikizana ndi munthu, kukopana ndi maso ndi chimodzi mwa zida zocheperako koma zamphamvu zomwe munthu angagwiritse ntchito. Kaya ndi chikondi, mkwiyo, ululu, kapena mphwayi, kuyang’ana maso kungasonyeze zonsezo. Zimakuthandizani kumvetsetsa zinthu zomwe zasiyidwa. Ngakhale nyama, kuyang'ana maso kumagwiritsidwa ntchito kulamulira, choncho n'zosadabwitsa kuti maso ndi njira yofunika kwambiri yolankhulirana.

Mu buku la Memoirs of a Geisha , Mameha akupempha Sayuri kuti ayimitse munthu pomuyang'ana kamodzi kokha. Ndi mphamvu yoyang'ana maso! Anthu ndi okhawo omwe ali ndi maso oyera. Maso athu adapangidwa kuti awonekere kwa ena; cholinga chake ndi kukopa chidwi. Funso ndilakuti: mungagwiritse ntchito bwanji kuti mupange ndikumanga ubale? Tiyeni tipeze yankho.

Sayansi Kumbuyo kwa Maso Kukopa

Kodi kuyang'anana maso ndi chizindikiro chokopa? Ngati mukufuna kukhala. Kuyang'ana maso mwachindunji kumatha kupanga/kusokoneza ubale. Kuyang'ana m'maso nthawi yayitali kumatha kutulutsa munthu, kumupangitsa kuti asamasangalale, ndikuyambitsa nkhawa. Tonse tikudziwa kuti munthu m'modzi yemwe kuyang'ana kwake mosayang'ana kungatipangitse kukayikira misala yake ngati si ife tokha chifukwa chocheza nawo.

Kumbali ina, kuyang'ana munthu m'maso kungathandize kuti akumasukireni bwino. Amakudalirani kwambiri kuposa munthu amene ali ndi maso osinthasintha. Ndipotu, kuyang'ana maso kungakhale chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zanu zokongola . Chifukwa chake, ntchito yoyang'ana maso poyambitsa kukopa imadalira momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti mwachita bwino, tiyeni tiwone zabwino zina zokopa maso:

• Aliyense amakonda kumveka popanda kufotokoza
• Zimakuthandizani kuti mulumikizane ndi anthu ambiri pamlingo wocheperako
• Ndi njira yabwino yolankhulirana bwino ndikuwoneka wanzeru / waluso, malinga ndi kafukufuku

Chifukwa chake, kuyang'anizana ndi maso ndiye poyambira kumanga ubale uliwonse. Osati kokha pakati pa okondana komanso kofunika mofanana pakati pa anzako kapena ngakhale alendo. Ngati mukufuna kulimbikitsa gulu la anthu, yang'anani m'maso. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa ngati mkazi amakukondani, yang'anani m'maso mwake. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa zomwe zimatanthawuza pamene munthu ayang'ana maso, bwerezani. Maso samanama, koma akhoza kukusokonezani. Ichi ndichifukwa chake tabwera kudzakulemberani ma psychology okhudzana ndi maso. Tiyeni tiyambe ndikuwunika mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya zokopa zapamaso.

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Mitundu ya kukopana ndi maso

Tanthauzo la kuyang'ana maso lingakhale losiyana kwambiri. Ngakhale nthawi zina zimachitika pamlingo wosazindikira, kwa ena, ndi dala. Zingayambe ngati kuyang'ana maso mwangozi. Ngati pali kukopana pakati pa anthu awiriwa , ndiye kuti padzakhala kuyang'anana kwambiri, komwe pamapeto pake kumakula kukhala kuyang'anana maso mwamphamvu. Kuti tidziwe zambiri, tiyeni tikambirane za magawo osiyanasiyana a kukopa maso ndi tanthauzo lake.

1. Osayang'ana maso (mwadala)

Kuyang'ana m'maso ndikofunikira komanso mwachibadwa. Kotero, pamene munthu ayesa mwadala kuyang'ana kumbali, angatanthauze:

• Sali omasuka pamaso panu
• Studies nenani kuti anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD amavutika kuyang'ana munthu m'maso
• Alibe chidwi ndipo safuna kulankhula nanu

Muzochitika zotere, kupitiriza kuyang'ana kungakhale chimodzi mwa zolakwa zofala kwambiri zomwe munthu angapange pokopana. Ndi bwino kusapitiriza, zinthu zina ndi bwino kuzisiya zokha. Yesani kukhudzana maso ndi munthu wina.

2. Osayang'ana maso (mwangozi)

Kulephera kuyang'ana maso mwangozi kumachitika pamene munthu sakudziwa kuti mulipo. Ayi, simunakhale wosawoneka (ngakhale kuti sikungakhale mphamvu yamphamvu yodabwitsa); zimangotanthauza kuti munthuyo sanakuzindikireni.

Ichi si chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti sakukondani kapena kuti sakukufunani koma chimasonyeza zambiri zomwe zikuchitika m'mutu mwa munthuyo. Choncho, musalole kuti izi zikulepheretseni kudzidalira. Izi zitha kukhala zina mwa zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimachititsa kuti apewe kuyang'anana maso ndi kukopana ndi anthu:

• Amamvetsera nyimbo ndipo atayika m'dziko lawo
• Iwo ali otanganidwa kwambiri ndi kuchuluka kwa inflation ya chuma
• Iwo akungopempha ku chilengedwe kuti Henry Cavil amawakonda

3. Kuyang'ana (mwangozi)

Kuyang'ana kosazindikira kumachitika nthawi zambiri pakati pa anthu osadziwana (chifukwa cha kuyandikirana). Munthuyo akuyang'ana mozungulira ndipo maso anu akumana mwangozi, kenako akuyang'ana kwina. Pa siteji iyi, iye sakukondani ; mwangozi mumakhala mukuwona pamene maso awo akuyendayenda.

Zowoneka ngati izi ndizokhalitsa ndipo zilibe tanthauzo. Chifukwa cha izi ndikuti ngakhale kukhudzana ndi maso kudakhazikitsidwa, munthuyo sanalembetse ngati zidachitika pamlingo wocheperako. Pali pafupifupi 95% mwayi womwe munthuyo sangakumbukire kuti adachita nawo.

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4. Kuyang'ana (mwadala)

Kuyang'anako kumatenga theka la sekondi, kumatenga nthawi yayitali kuposa kungoyang'ana mwangozi. Koma pano, munthuyo walembetsa kuti maso anu anakumana. Kumbukirani:

• Ngati athyola maso poyang'ana pansi, ndi chimodzi mwazo zizindikiro za kukopana
• Ngati athyola diso poyang'ana kumbali, sakukopeka ndi inu

5. Kuyang'ana pawiri

Kodi munthu akayang'ana kumbali akakulankhulani zikutanthauza chiyani? Kuti mudziwe, pitirizani kumuyang'ana kwa masekondi angapo. Ena adzakuyang'anani kachiwiri. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chowoneka bwino chokopana maso ndipo mwayi ndi wakuti ngati mutayambitsa kukambirana, mungayankhe bwino.

Kodi mungatumize bwanji zizindikiro za chikondi kwa anthu omwe akukhudzana maso? Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit analemba kuti, “Yang’anani m’maso, yang’anani pansi, mwerani (pafupifupi nokha?), yang’ananinso m’maso. Ngati simuchita bwino mudzaoneka wamisala. Ngati muchita bwino mudzaoneka wokongola. Zimagwira ntchito kwa amuna ndi akazi onse.”

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6. Kuyang'ana

Apa ndi pamene mukuyang'anizana m'maso osayankhulana, kwa masekondi awiri / atatu. Ngati inu kupeza kumwetulira pamene kutseka maso ndi kuphwanya wanu, ndiye inu kulibwino musaphonye mwayi uwu.

Kodi mungatani kuti muyang'ane maso ndi munthu wina? Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit analemba kuti, “Kuyang'ana maso ndi munthu wina kungathandize kwambiri pa moyo wanu.” Wogwiritsa ntchito wina wa Reddit analemba za kukopa maso ndi munthu wina , “Mphamvu ya kukopa maso ndi munthu wina, makamaka kung'ona sikuyenera kunyalanyazidwa, monga momwe sikuyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito mosasamala. Kung'ona maso ndi munthu wina kumakhala nthawi yoipa kwa aliyense amene akukhudzidwa.”

7. Kuyang'ana koledzeretsa

Kira sanafune kudzuka ndikupita kuntchito, kotero adalowa pafupi ndi Leo. Atazindikira kuti ali maso, adadzuka ndipo adawona zizindikiro zokopana ndi maso. Ankawoneka ngati waledzera ndi chinachake ndipo kumwetulira kwakung'ono kumeneku kukusewerera pamilomo yake. Anawoneka wolota bwino Kira atazindikira kuti wapeza munthu wapadera.

Mukapeza mwamuna akukuyang'anani kapena mupeza mkazi wotayika m'maso mwanu chonchi, muziyamikira. 'Maonekedwe achikondi' awa ndi amodzi mwa maonekedwe olimbikitsa kwambiri omwe mungawone. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika mutakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu kwa miyezi ingapo. Kuyang'anana maso ndi nkhani ya ndakatulo ndipo pafupifupi ngati zomwe zimawonetsedwa m'mafilimu.

Komabe, ndi amodzi mwa mawonedwe osweka mtima kwambiri omwe angalandire, pomwe malingaliro ali mbali imodzi. Chifukwa chake, ngati muwapeza akuyang'ana m'maso mwanu kwa masekondi 6 molunjika ndipo simukumva chimodzimodzi za iwo, auzeni maganizo awo asanakule.

8. "Pali kupha m'maganizo mwanga" kuyang'ana

Akuti munthu akakuyang'anani maso kwa nthawi yayitali, zikutanthauza chimodzi mwa zinthu ziwiri: mwina ndi chizindikiro cha chilakolako chogonana , kapena ali chete pang'ono ndipo akulota za kukuphani. Ngati chibwenzi chanu chili ndi mafoni 38 osayankhidwa ndipo chili patsogolo panu chili ndi manja opindidwa, kuyang'anana maso mwamphamvu kuchokera kwa iye sikungakupatseni chiyembekezo chabwino. Muyenera kusamala kwambiri ngati pali mbale zomwe zikukugwerani.

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Udindo Wa Kuyang'ana Maso Pakumanga Maubale Olimba

Susan C. Young, wolemba buku lakuti The Art of Body Language anati, “Kuyang’anana maso kungasonyeze ngati munthu ndi woona mtima kapena wachinyengo, wokonda kapena wotopa, woona mtima kapena wosadziwa zoona, wosamala kapena wosokonezeka.” Pokumbukira zimenezi, tiyeni tione udindo wa kutseka maso polimbitsa ubale. Nazi mfundo zina zokhudza psychology yokhudzana ndi maso:

• Pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi ayang'anana maso kwambiri, zimatha kuwapangitsa kumva kuti ali ndi chidwi kwambiri, monga momwe amachitira. kafukufuku
• Research akuwonetsa kuti nthawi yayifupi yakuyang'anana maso kumayambitsa kukhudzidwa kwabwino, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti chidziwitso chiziyenda bwino komanso kumathandizira kulumikizana.
• Malinga ndi kafukufuku, kuyang'ana kwachindunji kumasokoneza malire aumwini pa nkhope ndi malingaliro
• Alendo athunthu omwe adalumikizana kuti ayang'ane wina ndi mnzake kwa mphindi za 2 adamva "chikondi chambiri" wina ndi mnzake, malinga ndi phunziro
• china phunziro adawulula kuti maanja omwe adakhala limodzi patapita zaka zingapo, ndipo akadali mchikondi kwambiri, adayang'anana maso polankhulana 75% ya nthawiyo poyerekeza ndi pafupifupi 30-60%
• Malinga ndi kafukufuku, kutseka maso kumabweretsa kutulutsa kwa mahomoni okhudzana ndi kukopa/chikondi, makamaka phenylethylamine ndi oxytocin.

 Momwe Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Kuyang'ana Maso Kuti Mulimbitse Ubale Wanu - Malangizo 5

Ponena za momwe mungawerengere maso kuti mupeze chikondi, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit analemba kuti, "Kuyang'ana maso kumatanthauza ubwenzi wapamtima. Maso ndi mawindo a moyo. Sindingamve kuti ndine wotetezeka muubwenzi ngati mnzanga akana kundiyang'ana panthawi yogonana kapena pokambirana. Sindikunena kuti ziyenera kukhala nthawi zonse, koma kuyang'ana maso pang'ono ndikofunikira." Chifukwa chake, nazi njira zosangalatsa zogwiritsira ntchito maso owonera:

1. Kuchita kudzakuthandizani kukhala wangwiro

Yambani ndi kuyang'ana m'maso mwachidule pokambirana. Mutha kuwonjezera pang'onopang'ono pa nthawi komanso pafupipafupi. Ganizirani zoyeserera kutsogolo kwa galasi kuti mukhale omasuka kuchita.

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2. Onjezani zizindikiro zina zosalankhula

Pamene mnzanu akulankhula nanu, kuyang'ana m'maso mwake kungakhale njira yabwino yosonyezera kuti mukumvetsera. Onjezani kumwetulira, tsamirani, ndi kugwedeza mutu pang'ono kusonyeza kuti mulipo. Kuwoloka manja kapena kuyang'ana kumbali, kumbali ina, kumasonyeza kuti simukumasuka / simukufuna. Muyenera kudziwa ndikusamala za zilankhulo zobisika za thupi kuti mutengere kulumikizana kwanu ndi SO yanu kupita pamlingo wina.

3. Masekondi anayi ndi theka kuti asindikize mgwirizano

Kuyang'ana maso nthawi zonse kumatenga masekondi atatu. Komabe, ngati mutha kuyang'ana mnzanu kwa masekondi anayi ndi theka, adzalandira chizindikiro champhamvu chakuti mukusewera naye. Mutha kugwiranso nthawi yayitali, ngati mukufuna, bola ngati sakuyang'ana kwina. Kumva kwamagetsi pamene maso anu akukumana kungayambitse kukopana kwa maginito pakati pa inu ndi SO yanu.

4. Yesani masewera olimbitsa thupi akuyang'ana maso

Khalani pansi ndi mnzanu, mukuyang'anana naye. Mutha kugwirana manja ngati mukufuna. Kenako, ikani chowerengera nthawi ndikuyang'ana m'maso mwa mnzanuyo. Pumirani mpweya wambiri ndipo mulole kuti mutseke maso. Pitirizani kutseka maso pang'onopang'ono. Dulani maso pamene chowerengera nthawi chikuyamba kulira. Mutha kuyamba ndi masekondi 30 ndikuwonjezera nthawiyo kufika pa mphindi 10-20. Izi zithandiza kulimbitsa ubale wauzimu popanda kulankhula.

5. Yang'anani kumbali pang'onopang'ono

Mukaphwanya kuyang'ana m'maso, musachite izi mwadzidzidzi. Kuswa kumayang'anana mwachangu kungapangitse kuwoneka ngati wamantha. Choncho, yang'anani kumbali pang'onopang'ono. Komanso, mutha kuyamba kutseka maso musanalankhule mawu oyamba.

Pomaliza, kukopa maso kungathandize kumanga ubale uliwonse (osati wachikondi wokha). Ngakhale m'moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu ya kukopa maso. Kafukufuku akufotokoza za lamulo la 50/70: Muyenera kuyang'ana maso nthawi 50% mukulankhula ndi 70% mukamamvetsera.

Ibibazo

18 Chilankhulo Chachikazi cha Thupi Lachikazi Zizindikiro Zokopa

Izi Zizindikiro 15 Zobisika Zokopana Zitha Kukudabwitsani

Momwe Mungayankhulire Ndi Amayi Ndikuwasangalatsa Nthawi yomweyo

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.