Pamene okwatirana aŵiri akwatirana, lumbiro la “m’kudwala ndi m’matenda” amasinthanitsa mosazengereza. Pamene mukuyamba ulendo wokongola waukwati ndikumanga nyumba pamodzi, palibe amene amayembekeza kuti moyo wake udzakhala wodzaza ndi mavuto ndi zovuta. Amayembekezera kuti moyo wawo wonse waukwati ukhale wosangalatsa mofanana ndi tsiku la ukwati wawo.
Tsoka ilo, palibe munthu m'modzi yemwe banja lake silinawonepo zokwera ndi zotsika. Ndipo izo zimayamba kuwonekera kwambiri, patangopita tsiku laukwati. Ambiri amakumana ndi mavuto omwe angapangitse ngakhale opambana a ife kutemberera mwayi wathu, ndi kutaya chiyembekezo m'chikondi kapena m'banja. Ukwati si njira yokonzedwa bwino. Koma kodi mungapirire zovuta zonse ndi zigamba zomwe zimadzetsa nazo zokha?
Pamene bwenzi langa, Vee, anasamalira mwamuna wake matenda aakulu, nthaŵi zonse anali ndi mawu akuti “m’matenda ndi thanzi” m’maganizo mwake, ndipo sanawasungebe. Werengani kuti mudziwe mmene Vee anakwaniritsira kusunga malumbiro a ukwatiwo ndipo sanachoke kumbali ya mwamuna wake.
Mu Kudwala Ndi Thanzi: Momwe Mnzanga Anakhalira Zowona Pazowinda Zake
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ine ndi Vee mwina tinali aang’ono kwambiri m’gulu lathu. Tinalowa m'bungwe lomwe si la NGO, lomwe limagwira ntchito ya ana olumala atangotumiza kumene amuna anga kutali. Ndinakopeka ndi Vee kuyambira pachiyambi. Nthawi zonse amakhala wachikondi komanso wothandiza ndipo amandipatsa mzimu wodekha womwe ndimakonda.
Anandidziŵitsa kwa anzake atatu amene ankagwirizana nawo kwambiri, ndipo ife asanu tinakhala mabwenzi apamtima. Pa nkhomaliro limodzi tsiku lililonse, tinkakambirana nkhani zathu zaumwini, kugawana chisangalalo chathu ndi chisoni chathu, komanso kukambirana zomwe timakonda. mavuto a ubale.
Kukumana kwanga koyamba ndi mwamuna wa Vee kunali pa msonkhano womwe unakonzedwa pasukulu yathu. Kenako ndinazindikira kuti anali wa msinkhu wanga, zomwe zinandidabwitsa chifukwa ankaoneka wamkulu. Ankayenda pang’onopang’ono ndipo ankanena kuti wawerama, ndipo ankayenda atatsamira kwambiri ndodo.
“Pa matenda ndi thanzi si kulumbira chabe—ndi lonjezo la kuyendera limodzi m’moyo, zivute zitani.”
Podziwa kuti ndinali bwenzi la Vee pagalimoto ndipo ndimakhala pafupi ndi nyumba yawo, anandipempha kuti ndibwere ndi mwamuna wanga kuti timwe. Mwamuna wanga ndi m'modzi mwa anthu ochezeka omwe amakonda kucheza ndi kukumana ndi anthu, kotero sitikanakana. Mwamwayi, azibambo awiriwa ankagwirizana kwambiri ndipo tinayamba kulowamo mwakamodzikamodzi kuti tikawaone.
Mwamuna wa Vee anasangalala ndi kampaniyi koma kucheza kwawo kunali kochepa pazaka zingapo zapitazi, zomwe zinachititsa kuti Vee azikhala ndi nthawi yambiri kunyumba ngakhale ankakonda kutuluka.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mmene Analimbanirana ndi Matenda a Maganizo a Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Wake
Kumeneko mavuto awo anayambira
Vee nthawi ina anandiuza kuti zaka zapitazo, anali pachibwenzi chachifupi ukwati usanachitike pambuyo pa msonkhano wawo woyamba wokonzedwa ndi achibale. Komabe, mfundo yakuti anali ndi vuto la majini lomakula ndi chinthu chimene sanamuuze asanamange mfundo.
Nditamva izi, ndinayika ziwiri ndi ziwiri ndikumvetsetsa chifukwa chake adagwada. Kuyambira pamenepo ndaona nkhondo ya Vee kuchirikiza lumbiro laukwati “mukudwala ndi thanzi”. Zizindikiro zoyamba zamavuto zidakweza mutu wawo patangotha chaka chimodzi m'banja lawo. Pamene zowawazo zinakula kwambiri, Vee anadabwa kwambiri atazindikira kuti mwamuna wake anali ankylosing spondylitis.
Amakonda kuthamanga m'mabanja, anali matenda omwe anatengera kwa abambo ake. Ngakhale kuti anthu ambiri amene akudwala matendawa akupitirizabe kukhala ndi moyo wabwinobwino ndiponso wopindulitsa, iye sanali mmodzi wa iwo. Pamene thupi lake linayamba kufooka pang’onopang’ono, anakakamizika kusiya kugwira ntchito ndi kukhalabe panyumba. Chifukwa chosapeza ndalama nthawi zonse, ndalama zinakhala vuto.
Kusunga lonjezo la 'kudwala ndi thanzi'
Chifukwa chokhumudwa poyamba, anavomereza pang’onopang’ono mkhalidwewo. Ngozi yosayembekezereka ikadathanso kumulepheretsa mphamvu ndi momwe adadzinenera. Sindimakumbukira kamodzi kokha akuimba mlandu tsogolo lake kapena kudzimvera chisoni. Monga katswiri wa zamaganizo wophunzitsidwa bwino, anayamba kugwira ntchito m’gulu limene tinakumana.
Mwamuna wake anali ndi luso la chinenero chabwino kwambiri ndipo anamulimbikitsa kuti azichita nawo ntchito yodzichitira okha - kulemba zinthu, kukonza, zomwe ankakwanitsa mosavuta. Koma mwadzidzidzi tsiku lina anaima popanda chifukwa chomveka. Iye anali kulimbana ndi kuvutika maganizo, pamene maganizo oipa anayambika, nayenso anayamba kuvutika kwambiri.
Ngakhale kuti anasangalala pamene Vee anakhala mphunzitsi wamkulu pasukulu yathu, iye sanayesepo kumuchotsera udindo uliwonse wapakhomo. Anakana ngakhale kuchita ntchito zomwe zimangofuna kuyang'aniridwa pang'ono - zomwe akanatha kuzikwanitsa mosavuta. Chifukwa chake, ngakhale anali ndi nthawi yopha pantchito komanso maphunziro apayekha kunyumba kuti awonjezere ndalama, adayenera kuyang'anira nyumba yonseyo.
Mwana wamkazi yemwe adadalitsidwa adakula kukhala wachinyamata wodalirika koma Vee adapeza mwamuna wake akusintha kukhala mwana wamakani. Polimbana ndi kupsa mtima kwake, ankangokhalira kunjenjemera. Ngakhale kuti analangizidwa kuti apite kukachitidwa opaleshoni ya m’chiuno, iye anakana mwaukali kwa zaka zambiri.
Potsirizira pake anavomera pambuyo poti mkhalidwe wake unafika poipa kwambiri. Mwina anaisiya mpaka nthawi inachedwa kwambiri, chifukwa mavuto anachitika komanso kuchira kumene ankayembekezera sikunachitike. Popeza Vee anali ataumirira kwambiri kuti achite opaleshoni imeneyi, anamuimba mlandu kotheratu chifukwa cha kulephera kwake.
Kukhala limodzi mpaka kumapeto
Zinkaoneka ngati kuti Vee ankasamalira chilichonse, moti sankafunikanso kukhala ndi tsiku. Nthaŵi zonse ndinkachita mantha ndi iye, kumuona akuchirikiza lumbiro la ‘kudwala ndi thanzi’ limene anthu amakonda kuchita koma osakwaniritsadi. Pakati pa maudindo apamwamba kuntchito kwake ndi maphunziro omwe ankaphunzitsa kunyumba, ankatha kusamaliranso mwamuna wake, yemwe ankavutika kwambiri.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro za Ubale Wachipongwe: M'maganizo, Mwamawu, Mwamaganizo
Pokhala wokhumudwa komanso wowawa, adalimbikira kuchita chilichonse chomwe adalangizidwa. Kukhala ndi chuma mopambanitsa muubwenzi, sanafune kumulola kukhala ndi moyo wakewake. Nthawi zambiri Vee ankapita kokasangalala basi. Koma m'nthawi yomwe zisudzulo zimachitika pazifukwa zofowoka, chisankhochi sichinachitikepo kwa Vee.
Sindikukumbukira kuti ndinamumva akudandaula kapena kudandaula za tsogolo lake. “M’zabwino kapena zoipitsitsa, m’kudwala kapena mu thanzi, kukonda ndi kusangalala kufikira imfa itatilekanitsa,” malumbiro okhudza zimenezi amalumbira pamene anthu aŵiri aloŵa ukwati. Awa ndi malonjezo omwe aliyense sangawalemekeze pakachitika tsoka.
Chikondi ndi kudzipereka zimabwera mosavuta nthawi zili bwino. Koma kulimbana ndi matenda aakulu a mnzanuyo kumafuna kuleza mtima kwakukulu ndi chisamaliro. Kulekerera kwakukulu ndi kudzipereka. Si ambiri a ife amene ali ndi mwayi umenewu. Mwamuna wa Vee anali chigonere kwa zaka pafupifupi zisanu. Miyezi ingapo yapitayi inali yopweteka kwambiri mapeto asanafike monga kumasulidwa kwachifundo ku zowawa ndi kuvutika. Anali m’zaka zake za m’ma 50. Vee anali pambali pake pamene anamwalira. Venivi ndivu wangundisambiza ng’anamuro la mazgu ghakuti, “Mu ulwari na umoyo.”
Ibibazo
“Mukudwala ndi wathanzi” kwenikweni ndi mawu kapena lonjezo limene mkwati ndi mkwatibwi amapangirana. Zikutanthauza kuti adzakhala ndi wina ndi mzake pa zovuta zonse za moyo ndi chisangalalo. Adzakhalapo kwa wina ndi mnzake munjira iliyonse, mosasamala kanthu za mikhalidwe.
Mwamwambo, mkwati amapita patsogolo ndipo iye amatsatiridwa ndi mkwatibwi.
Maganizo Final
Ukwati suli pafupi kugawana chimwemwe—ndi kuima pamodzi mu zowawa, kusatsimikizika, ndi kulimbana. Chikondi sikutanthauza kukhala ndi moyo wosavuta—chimatanthauza kukhala nacho mnzanu amene amakhala pambali panu, zivute zitani. Ochiritsa athu atha kukuthandizani yendetsani zovuta zamalingaliro ndi ubale ndi mphamvu ndi chifundo.
Zizindikiro 8 Kuti Bwenzi Lanu Likuvutika Maganizo Ndi Njira 6 Zomwe Mungathandizire
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Zogwira mtima kwenikweni. Akazi oterowo ayenera kuyamikiridwa ndi kusonyezedwa kuyamikira.utumiki wawo wodzipereka ndi chikondi m’masiku akale.