Magawo 5 a Ubale Wobwereranso

Ubale wobwereranso ungangotanthauzidwa ngati ubale womwe umachitika mwachangu mukatha kutha. Mu maubwenzi oterowo, munthu amayesetsa kukulitsa malingaliro omwe anali nawo kwa wakale wake. Izi zimayamba bwino kwambiri poyambirira, koma chifukwa malingaliro amakakamizika, ochita kupanga komanso ongoyerekeza, pang'onopang'ono ubalewo umatha.

Anthu ambiri amatenga nthawi yayitali kuti akhale paubwenzi ndi munthu, koma mwachibadwa kuti kusagwirizana kumatenganso nthawi. Maubwenzi obwereranso amatsata magawo kapena magawo, ndipo pakubwereranso, amatha kuonedwa ngati odziwikiratu.

Lingaliro la ubale wobwereranso nthawi zambiri limayamba chifukwa cha kusatetezeka kwamalingaliro komwe kumachitika mwa munthu pambuyo pa kutha kowawa. Anthu amamvanso kufunikira kodzipatula ku zowawa ndikudumphira mu ubale wobwereranso. Zowonadi, ma rebounds angapereke zododometsa zolandiridwa kuchokera kuchisoni chowawa chomwe chimabwera ndi kutha kwa ubale.

Koma kodi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yopitira m'magawo asanu a kuchira pambuyo pa kusudzulana? Ndipo kodi maubwenzi otere ndi okhazikika? Tiyeni tifufuze magawo osiyanasiyana a ubale wobwerera m'mbuyo kuti tipeze mayankho mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wodziwa za kugonana ndi kasamalidwe ka ubale.

The Rebound Relationship Psychology

Kuti mumvetse rebound rebound rebound psychology, choyamba muyenera kumvetsetsa tanthauzo la maubwenzi obwereranso. Nthawi zina pamene ubale wautali, wovuta kapena wodzipereka watha, anthu amakodwa mu ubale wokhalitsa kuti adzipezanso.

Nthawi ya ubale wa rebound nthawi zambiri sikhala nthawi yayitali, imatha pafupifupi chaka chimodzi, ngakhale ming'alu imayamba kuwonekera molawirira kwambiri. Rebound relationship psychology ndi mbali imodzi. Ndi za kudzichiritsa wekha. Pamene anthu sangathe kugonjetsa wakale wawo, pamene sangathe kusiya kudzimvera chisoni, pamene akufuna kuti wina awapangitse kuti amve chinachake, ndiye kuti amalowa mu ubale ndi wapafupi, wofunitsitsa, makamaka wamng'ono kwa kanthawi.

Kugwiritsa ntchito rebounds m'malo mwa chikondi n'kofala kwambiri m'moyo wamakono wachangu, kumene tilibe nthawi kapena mphamvu zodzichiritsira tokha. Kafukufuku wa zamaganizo okhudza ubale wa rebound akusonyeza kuti njira imeneyi ingakhalenso ndi ubwino wake.

Kafukufuku wofufuza izi pazifukwa ndi momwe zimakhudzira kubwerera m'banja adapeza kuti anthu omwe ali muubwenzi watsopano amakhala ndi chidaliro chofuna kwawo ndipo akhoza kukhala okonzeka bwino kuthana ndi kutha kwa chibwenzi chawo ndi omwe anali akale. Zomwe zapezekazi zikusonyeza kuti ubale wobwerera m'banja ukhoza kukhala wothandiza kwambiri kuposa momwe anthu amaganizira. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, ngati cholinga cha ubalewu chafotokozedwa momveka bwino kwa mnzanu watsopano ndipo aliyense wokhudzidwayo ali ndi malingaliro ofanana ndipo ali omasuka ndi momwe ulili.

Magawo A Ubale Wobwereranso

Bwezeretsani maubale mwachikhulupiriro, koma osatsata mosamalitsa, njira ina yofikira komwe ikupita: kutha. Apa tayesera kuzigawa m'magawo kuti munthu adziwe pomwe ayima. Pakhoza kukhala kusiyana mu magawo a ubale wa rebound kwa dumper ndi amene watayidwa. Komabe, kwakukulukulu, onse aŵiri amadutsa m’njira yofanana ya kukopa, chisangalalo, kusiya maganizo, ndi kukhumudwa.

Kumvetsetsa nthawi yaubwenzi wa rebound ndi magawo ndikofunikira chifukwa kulumikizana kumeneku sikumakhala koyenera kwa munthu yemwe wagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi yemwe ayamba chibwenzi chachikulu (pokhapokha, yemwe akulowa mu rebound walankhula moona mtima zolinga zawo ndi zosowa zawo kwa wokondedwa wawo watsopano, yemwe adawavomera ndikusankha kuti apite patsogolo).

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Nthawi zina pamene ubale wautali, wovuta kapena wodzipereka watha anthu amakodwa muubwenzi wokhalitsa kuti adzipezanso. Ndiye magawo a ubale wobwereranso ndi chiyani? Tinalembapo zisanu.

1. Kukopa

Pamene ubwenzi wanu watha ndipo inu potsiriza kumvetsa kuti simungathe kubwerera ku mmene zinthu zinalili kale, inu kuyamba kuzindikira kuti ndi nthawi kuyang'ana kutsogolo. Koma mungamve kuti ndinu ofooka kwambiri moti simungapite patsogolo ndipo simunakonzekere kulowa muubwenzi wina. Izi ndi nthawi zomwe anthu amayamba kukondana.

Mumakopeka ndi munthu watsopano, amene mwina munakumana naye pagulu kapena kudzera mu pulogalamu yopezera chibwenzi. Kubwereranso kungachitikenso ndi munthu amene munakhazikitsa kale ubwenzi, munthu wakale, kapena munthu wosiyana kwambiri ndi malo anu. Ndipo kumbukirani, ubale wobwereranso nthawi zambiri umamveka ngati chikondi chifukwa mukuyesetsa kwambiri, ndipo umamveka bwino poyamba.

Rebound psychology imagwira ntchito mwanjira inayake: Mwina mungafune kukhala omasuka ndi munthu yemwe mumamudziwa bwino kapena ndi wina wosiyana kwambiri ndi mtundu wanu wanthawi zonse. Ndiko kuti mwina mukuyang'ana chitsimikiziro kapena kuyamikiranso kwatsopano. Mulimonsemo, mukufuna kudzizindikiritsa nokha podziyang'ana nokha m'maso mwa munthu wina.

Mu gawo lokopa, mukufuna kumva kuti mukufunanso ndikubwezeretsanso bungwe muubwenzi, makamaka ngati munatayidwa. Kuyang'ana bwino, zosintha, kusintha masitayilo, ndi zina zambiri zimakhala zofunika kwambiri kuposa kuyang'ana kwenikweni mtendere wanu wamaganizidwe.

Kukopa ndichimodzi mwamagawo oyamba achiyanjano kwa dumper, yemwe atha kukhala akumva mpumulo wosweka ndi mnzawo yemwe sanapatsidwe ndalama zake ndikusangalala ndi ufulu wawo watsopano.

2. Ubwenzi wapamtima mu chiyanjano

Muubwenzi wobwereranso, simukuyang'ana kulumikizana kwamalingaliro kapena kudalira. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zakuthupi. Mukufuna kuti ubale wanu wa rebound ukukusilirani ndikukukondani. Mumafuna kukhala duwa m'malo mokhala wolima dimba mukamayambiranso kukondana.

“Mu ubale wobwerera m’mbuyo, simuli nokha. Mukufuna mayankho ambiri omwe simunatuluke mu ubale wosweka. Mpaka mutafika pamenepo, mumakhalabe mu ubale wobwerera m’mbuyo ndipo simunakonzekere kukhazikitsa ubale watsopano wokhalitsa komanso wopindulitsa,” akutero Jaseena . Mukufuna chisamaliro chosagawanika ndi chikhumbo kuchokera kwa mnzanu kuti akuthandizeni kuchiritsa mtima wanu wosweka . Kwenikweni, mukufuna zabwino zonse zokhala pachibwenzi popanda kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu zambiri zamaganizo.

Iwo ati mankhwala othetsa ubale ndi kugona ndi ena. Mumamva chisoni mukaganizira mmene munakhalirabe wokhulupirika kwa munthu amene sanali kukuyamikirani. Makamaka ngati inu anali kunyengedwa pa ubale wanu wakale, ndiye muyenera rebound ubale wanu kuti inu mukumverera achigololo ndi wokongola.

Choncho m’malo momacheza ndiponso kudziwana bwino, mumathera nthawi m’nyumba n’kumaona zochitika zina. Inu mwadutsa pambuyo kusweka-up makeover koma inu simuli otsimikiza za maonekedwe anu atsopano. Muyenera kuyamikiridwa chifukwa cha zimenezonso, osati umunthu wanu wokha.

Kukhudza kulikonse, kupsompsona kulikonse, njala iliyonse ya inchi ya khungu lanu imakuthandizani kuchiritsa, imakuthandizani kuti muzidzikondanso, imakuthandizani kuti mukhalenso ndi chidaliro mwa inu nokha. Koma ichi chikhoza kukhala chiyembekezo chabodza chomwe sichikhala ndi vuto m'kupita kwanthawi.

3. Onetsani

Kuthetsa chibwenzi, makamaka mutakhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali kumakhala kovuta, osati pa inu nokha komanso pa mbiri yanu. Mphekesera zimafalikira ngati moto wolusa ndipo anthu amayamba kukuwonani mosiyana. Simumakonda kukhala woyipa pamaso pa anthu ndipo mumadana ndi kukhala chinthu chochitiridwa chifundo.

Choncho mukamayambiranso kukondana, mumaonetsera kwa anzanu. Mumawonetsa wokondedwa wanu ngati mendulo yomwe muli nayo kapena mphotho yomwe mwapeza. Mumawonetsa chemistry yodabwitsa pakati pa inu nonse. Mumadziwonetsa kuti ndinu okondwa, ngakhale mukungonamizira kunja.

Kawonedwe kakang'ono kameneka kamene kamakhala kothandiza kwambiri kwa wakale wanu. Mumaonetsetsa kuti abwenzi, makamaka abwenzi omwe amalumikizana ndi wakale wanu, akuwoneni ndi mnzanu watsopano. Nthawi zonse mumayesetsa kutsimikizira anzanu kuti mnzanu watsopanoyo ndi wabwino kwambiri ndipo ndinu osangalala kwambiri kuposa momwe munali poyamba.

“Nthaŵi zambiri mumafuna kudzimva kuti ndinu wokongola ndiponso wokondedwa mukakhala pachibwenzi kuti mutsimikizire kuti chibwenzicho sichinali chifukwa chakuti sunalinso wokongola,” akutero Jaseena. Kufuna kutsimikizira nokha kuchokera kwa mnzanu komanso dziko lozungulira la ubale wanu watsopano kumakhala njira yodzitsimikizira nokha.

Izi zingapangitse mnzanu watsopanoyo kumva kuti ndi wosayenera komanso wosafunika chifukwa akudziwa kuti diso lanu ndilofunika kwambiri monga momwe angawonekere kwa anzanu. Mutha kuchiritsa koma mukuvulaza wina panthawiyi.

4. Kuyerekeza

Kwa ena, mungawoneke ngati wosasangalala, koma zina mwazochita zanu monyanyira zimachokera mu kutha kwa chibwenzi chanu. Ngati mnzanu watsopanoyo achita zinazake zokwiyitsa pang'ono ndipo inu mumachita mwachiwawa chifukwa ndi zomwe wakale wanu wakale amachita. Mosakayikira izi ndizosalungama kwa okondedwa wanu watsopano.

Paubwenzi wobwererana, simunathe kugonjetsa wakale wanu. Kotero pali kufananitsa kosalekeza kukuchitika m'maganizo mwanu za mnzanu watsopano ndi wakale wanu. Ngakhale kuti zinthu zina zimakukwiyitsani, palinso zina zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala. Izi ndi zinthu zomwe mukufuna kukumbukira, izi ndi zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva chisoni chifukwa chakutha kwanu ndipo mukudziwa kuti simudzakhalanso ndi zinthu izi ndi okondedwa wina aliyense chifukwa nthawi zonse zimakhala zosiyana ndi maubwenzi atsopano.

Kukumbukira zakale kumeneku ndiko kumakupangitsani kukhala ndi moyo wobwerera m'mbuyo chifukwa simunasunthe ndipo mukudikirabe komwe adakusiyani. Simunadziwe komwe mungatseke. Koma simungathe kuletsa kufananiza ubale wanu watsopano ndi wakale wanu: chifukwa wakale wanu wakhala mtundu wina wa zomwe mumakonda kapena zomwe simukonda mwa munthu amene mukufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi chachikondi. Bwenzi lanu lobwerera m'mbuyo lingamve ngati lotayika chifukwa akumenyana ndipo makamaka akutaya lingaliro lanu la wakale wanu.

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Magawo a ubale wa dumper akhoza kupita patsogolo mosiyana. Pambuyo pa chisangalalo chaufulu wawo ndikukumana ndi wina watsopano zimazimiririka, m'malo mogwera mumsampha wofananiza, amatha kukhala otalikirana ndi wokondedwa wawo. Palibe chidwi chomanga china chake cholimba komanso chokhazikika muzolumikizana zotere, ndipo izi zimayamba kuonekera panthawiyi.

5. Kukhumudwa

Pakubwera mfundo muubwenzi wobwereranso pomwe mumazindikira kuti ndi chinyengo. Mopanda vuto la mnzanu watsopano, simukopekanso naye. Izi ndichifukwa mumazindikira zinthu zambiri. Choyamba, mwafika pozindikira kuti simunathenso kutha kwa chibwenzi chanu kapenanso wakale wanu wakale. Ichi ndi sitepe yoyamba yathanzi ku machiritso.

Tsopano mutha kusiya chinyengo chokhala bwino ndikukumana ndi zenizeni. Tsopano inu mukhoza kusiya kunamizira kukhala wokondwa kuthamanga flings kapena rebound ubale wanu. Kachiwiri, ndikofunikira kuti mumvetsetse zomwe mukuchita ndi mnzanu muubwenzi wobwereranso. Mopanda kulakwa kwawo, akugwiritsiridwa ntchito muubwenzi womwe uyenera kutha posachedwa.

Izi zimawonekeranso kwa wobwereketsayo. Jaseena anati: “Mnzako watsopanoyo amaonanso mtundu wina wa inu.

Muyenera kuwauza zimenezo ndikupumula koyera. Chachitatu, tsopano ndi nthawi yoti mupite patsogolo. Khalani ndi nthawi nokha, lankhulani ndi wina ngati zikuthandizani, dzichepetseni: kupita patsogolo ku machiritso. Chinyengo cha 'zinthu zili bwino' chakhala chikukupangani kukhala opanda kanthu mkati koma kukhumudwitsidwa kwathunthu kukuthandizani kuti muwukenso. Mukazindikira kuti mwafika pansi pa thanthwe ndiye njira yokhayo yomwe mungapitire ndi mmwamba.

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Kodi Maubwenzi Obwerezabwereza Amakhala Nthawi Yaitali Bwanji?

Zimakhala zovuta kunena kuti mgwirizano wobwereza utali utali utali bwanji chifukwa ndandanda yanthawi yaubwenzi imadalira omwe akukhudzidwa. Mumadutsa magawo onsewa pamayendedwe anuanu ndikufikira kukhumudwitsidwa wamba. Ubale wobwereranso nthawi zambiri umakhala waufupi chifukwa pokhapokha mutachira paubwenzi wanu wakale, mwayi wopereka 100% ku ubale watsopanowu ndi wochepa kwambiri. Sichilungamonso kwa okondedwa watsopanoyo.

Ngati muli mu rebound chifukwa chakuti muyenera kudziwonetsera kapena kufotokoza mfundo, pali mwayi waukulu kuti simudzadzipweteka nokha komanso mnzanu watsopano. Ubale wobwereranso ukhoza kukhala mwezi umodzi mpaka chaka kutengera nthawi yomwe mukufunikira kuti mukwaniritse. Ngati mukukana kwathunthu, ubale wobwereranso ukhoza kukhala nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe amayembekezera.

Ziwerengero zimati amuna nthawi zambiri amabwerera m'mbuyo kuposa akazi chifukwa amuna amavutika kuchira pambuyo pa kulekana . Ndipo monga momwe tikudziwira, akazi nthawi zambiri amadziwa momwe angatulutsire zakukhosi kwawo ndikugawana zakukhosi kwawo zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kupitiliza, koma amuna amakhala otanganidwa kwambiri chifukwa amuna sagawana zakukhosi kwawo mosavuta.

Ngati ndinu mkazi ndipo mukukayikira kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna, muyenera kuzindikira zizindikiro posachedwa. Ndipo musanayambe kusweka mtima, thetsani ubwenziwo. Dzichitireni chifundo nokha ndi mnzanu wobwereranso: musakoke ubale wanu wakufa ngati malaya ong'ambika kumbuyo kwanu. Moyo ndi waufupi, waufupi kwambiri kuti ungaugwiritse ntchito mwachinyengo.

Ibibazo

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