Njira 7 Zowonetsetsa Kutsekedwa Pambuyo Pakutha - Kodi Mukutsatira Izi?

Muyenera kutsekedwa mutatha kutha kuti musamangokhalira kulimbana ndi funso lakuti, "Kodi chinalakwika ndi chiyani muubwenzi wanga?", moyo wanu wonse. Kupatukana kungakhale chowawa kwambiri chifukwa chophweka kuti kugonjetsa munthu amene munagawana naye ubale wapamtima sikophweka. N’chifukwa chake n’kofunika kudziwa mmene mungatsekere banja mukatha. Sizidzapangitsa kuti gawo lotha kutha likhale lamphepo koma lingakupatseni kulimba mtima pang'ono ndikukhazikitsani njira yoyenera. Koma kukhala wokhoza kukhala mwa kutseka kukambitsirana pambuyo pa kutha si nthabwala. Zitha kukhala zovuta kwambiri kusiyana ndi kulekana komweko.

Pamene mukulimbana ndi kupatukana, mukulira, chisoni, ndi kufunsa chifukwa chake chibwenzicho chinatha. Pakhoza kukhala mikangano, ndewu, kusiyana, ndi masewera odzudzulana, koma panalinso nthawi zabwino zambiri, mphindi zogwira mtima, komanso chilakolako chachikulu. Ndiye, kodi kutseka ndikofunikira pambuyo pakutha? Kuti mudziwe chifukwa chake inuyo ndi mkazi wanu wakale simunathe kukwanitsa, muyenera kuganizira momwe mungapemphe kutsekera chifukwa ndi imodzi mwa njira zopezera mtendere ndi chisangalalo, pamene mukupita ku mutu wotsatira wa moyo wanu.

Tsopano popeza mwadziwa chifukwa chake chilakolako chofuna kupeza kutsekeredwa mutatha kusudzulana chili kofunika kwambiri, mafunso angapo omveka angapangitse kuti musagone. Kodi mungatseke bwanji munthu wakale yemwe salankhula nanu? Kodi munganene chiyani kwa wakale kuti atseke? Kodi ndingapitirire popanda kutseka? Kodi pali mtundu wina wa mawu otsekera kwa bwenzi lakale kapena bwenzi lomwe lingathandize kuti zinthu zikhale zosavuta?

Muli pano ndi mayankho a mafunso anu onse pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Namrata Sharma (Masters in Applied Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa zaumoyo wamaganizo komanso wolimbikitsa SRHR ndipo ndi katswiri wopereka uphungu pa maubwenzi oipa, zoopsa, chisoni, mavuto a ubale, komanso nkhanza zokhudzana ndi amuna kapena akazi komanso zapakhomo. Chifukwa chake popanda kuchedwa, tiyeni tiyambepo.

Kodi Kutseka Ndi Chiyani Pambuyo Pakutha?

Nthawi zonse mukaganizira za ubale wakale, mumadzazidwa ndi chisoni, maso anu amatukuka, ndipo kukumbukira kukumbukira kumadutsa m'maganizo mwanu. Umayamba kulakalaka mwamuna kapena mkazi wako wakale. Mukadakhala moyang'anana nawo kamodzi kokha ndikupeza mayankho owona pa zomwe zidalakwika ndi chifukwa chake. Umu ndi momwe mumakhalira kumverera miyezi ingapo mutatha kupatukana, makamaka ngati nonse simunakambirane.

Kwa anthu ena, malingalirowa amatha kukhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali, kuwasiya adapachikidwa pa wakale ndikumverera kukhala pachibwenzi cham'mbuyomu kwazaka zambiri. Izi zimachitika pamene mnzawoyo ndiye adathetsa chibwenzicho ndipo sanadziwebe chifukwa chomwe mnzake wakale adachita zomwe adachita.

Nowa ndi chibwenzi chake Dina anali akukumana ndi mavuto kwa nthawi ndithu, kenako, anathetsa zinthu ndi uthenga woti athetse banja . Nthawi zonse ankakambirana za kukwatirana tsiku lina ndipo anakhala akupitirizabe kwa zaka zoposa 5. Choncho, chisankho chake chothetsa chibwenzicho, kudzera pa uthenga wongobwerezabwereza, chinamudabwitsa Nowa. Sanathe kukambirana za kutseka ubale ndi Dina, ndipo mpaka pano, akudabwa kuti ndi chiyani chomwe chinalakwika mu ubalewo.

"Ndikudziwa kuti takhala tikukumana ndi mavuto, koma sindikudziwabe kuti udzu womalizawo unali chiyani chomwe chinamukakamiza kuti anditaya - nayenso mopanda ulemu. Kodi panali wina? Kodi mwadzidzidzi anali ndi epiphany kuti sankandikondanso? ​​Ndikuganiza kuti sindidzadziwa. Patha zaka khumi kuchokera pamene tinasiyana ndipo mafunsowa amandipangitsabe usiku nthawi zina, "akutero Noah. Ngati ndi pamene inu muli, ndiye muyenera kupempha kutsekedwa mu ubale.

Mukudzifunsabe kuti, “Kodi kutseka ukwati n’kofunika mutathetsa chibwenzi?” Chabwino, n’koyenera. Mukathetsa chibwenzi ndi munthuyo, mumasiya kukondana kwambiri ndi munthuyo kapena chibwenzicho. Simuyang’ana m’mbuyo modabwa poganizira zomwe mukanachita kuti mukonze chibwenzicho kapena ngati chinali choyenera kusungidwa. Ndikofunikira kwambiri chifukwa kumakuthandizani kufika pamlingo wa moyo pamene mudzakhala okonzeka kusiya chibwenzicho ndikupitirizabe. Simukumvanso ululu mukaganizira za wakale wanu. Pomaliza mumapeza mtendere ndi zakale zanu.

Namrata akuti, "Kutseka kungakhale gawo lalikulu la kukhalapo kwa munthu. Kuti atsimikizire zonse zomwe zili m'tsogolomu, amafunikira kukambirana komaliza. Apo ayi, munthu akhoza kutaya chidaliro m'zinthu.

"Choncho, ziyenera kuganiziridwa mosamala kwambiri kuti ndi mbali yanji ya ubale wawo kapena ndewu yomwe akufuna kuti atseke. Kapenanso, kupeza kutsekedwa ndi akale pambuyo pa zaka kungakhale chinthu chopweteka kwambiri ndi kuwononga kwambiri kuposa zabwino. Kuli ndi mphamvu yowononga njira yochira."

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N'chifukwa Chiyani Kufunika Kutsekedwa Mu Ubale?

Inde, kupatukana kungakhale kowawa kwambiri pamikhalidwe ingapo. Simungathe kudya mukatha kutha, simukutha kuyang'ana kwambiri ntchito, kugona kumawoneka ngati sikukukuvutitsani, ndipo ndandanda yanu imachotsedwa. Ngakhale zinthu zosavuta monga kudzuka pabedi m'mawa kapena kupita ku khofi ndi anzanu zikuwoneka ngati zosatheka mtima wanu utasweka. Ngati munaganizirapo, "Kodi kutseka n'kofunika pambuyo pa kutha? Ndipo chifukwa chiyani?", Yankho liri mu makhalidwe opweteka ndi ovuta omwe ambiri a ife timakhala nawo polimbana ndi kusweka mtima.

Jessica ankakondana kwambiri ndi Adam (mayina anasintha) koma adamunyengerera ndikupitirira. "Ndinapitiriza kuganiza kuti ndine wonyansa, ndinkangofuna, sindinali munthu wabwino, ndipo ndinkadziimba mlandu chifukwa chachinyengo chake." Patatha zaka ziwiri, ndinatsekedwa ndi foni imodzi yokha kuchokera kwa iye. Anapepesa chifukwa chondikhumudwitsa ndipo adanena kuti sangathe kudzikhululukira mpaka atadziwa kuti ndamukhululukira. kuti atsekedwe ndi munthu."

Kutseka kumakuthandizani kuchoka mu mkhalidwe wosasangalatsa uwu wamaganizo ndikusintha tsamba latsopano. Mukamaliza kapena kupempha wina kuti atseke, pamapeto pake mumakhala okonzeka kuyika moyo wanu pamtendere mosasamala kanthu kuti unali wokongola bwanji pamene unalipo. Anthu omwe satseka amakhalabe mu mkhalidwe wa chisoni ndi kudzimvera chisoni pambuyo pa kuleka kwa chibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali. Mwayi woti izi zichitike ndi wokwera kwambiri mukakhala ndi mzimu, ndipo kwenikweni, mukukanidwa kukambirana za kutseka chibwenzi mutaleka.

Pamene mnzanu kunyenga, kuchititsa ubwenzi kutha, kapena pamene wina unilaterally waganiza kuthetsa chibwenzi, zimakusiyani inu kufunafuna malongosoledwe oyenera ndipo inu mwatsala ndikudabwa mmene kupempha kutseka. M’zochitika zonsezi, kupita patsogolo kumakhala kovuta chifukwa chakuti mwakanidwa ulemu waukulu wa kukambitsirana kotsekera mutatha kupatukana.

Nthawi zina, mutha kutsekedwa ndi wakale patatha zaka ngakhale osalankhula nawo. Zili ngati babu ladzidzidzi likuyaka m'mutu mwanu ndipo mumazindikira kuti zinthu sizinali zoyenera. Kapena, mutha kufunsa mafunso anu akale ndikuyesera kusanthula mayankho kuti mupeze mtendere. Ndikofunikira kukhala ndi kutsekeka muubwenzi chifukwa kumakuthandizani kuchira, kupita patsogolo, ndi kusangalalanso.

Namrata akuti, "Zifukwa za munthu aliyense zotsekera zimatha kukhala zosiyana chifukwa aliyense ali ndi zosowa ndi zomwe amayembekeza. Kwa anthu ena, ndikofunikira kukhala ndi kufotokozera kovomerezeka pakutha kwadzidzidzi kwa ubale. Ndipo izi, pobwezera, zimawathandiza kukhalabe odziwika bwino komanso amisala. Tsopano atha kupita patsogolo m'njira yomwe angaphunzire za zovuta zina m'makhalidwe awo omwe amafunikira kusintha kuchokera kuzinthu zochepa zomwe zimafunikira kusintha.

"Kwa anthu ena, ndikofunikira kudziwa chifukwa chake munthu winayo adachoka kuti aphunzire." Ndipo safuna kubwerezanso kusamvana komweko kapena kusamvana komweko m'tsogolomu ndi bwenzi latsopano. Zingathenso kusiyanasiyana malinga ndi umunthu, mikhalidwe, ndi makhalidwe.

"Anthu awiri omwe ali pachibwenzi angakhale osiyana kwambiri. Choyamba, kutseka ukwati sikungakhale kofunikira. Amangofuna kuchotsa poizoni wa ubalewo . Pomwe munthu winayo angamve kufuna kudziwa chifukwa chake kusweka kumeneku mosasamala kanthu za mtengo wake. Akatswiri a zamaganizo apezanso kuti anthu omwe nthawi zonse amatha kupeza kutseka ukwati nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi njira yothandiza yomwe ingathandize kutsimikizira momwe amaonera dziko lonse lapansi."

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Njira 7 Zotseka Pambuyo pa Kusudzulana

Timakhala ndi chizolowezi chongodzifunsa chomwe chinalakwika pambuyo pa chibwenzi. N’chifukwa chiyani nkhani yachikondi inafika pamapeto osayembekezeka chonchi? Kodi linali vuto la ndani? Kodi zinthu zikanachitidwa mosiyana kuti apulumutse ubalewo? Ichi ndichifukwa chake kupeza kutsekedwa pambuyo pa kutha ndikofunika. Mwinamwake mukhoza potsiriza kudyetsa mayankho ena ku chidwi chanu ndi kupitiriza.

Kubwereranso ku vuto lofunika kwambiri lomwe lilipo - momwe mungatsekeredwe mutatha kupatukana? Nazi njira zina zowonetsetsa kuti kutsekedwa kwabwino pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja. Mungafunse kuti, “Kodi ndikufunikadi kutsekedwa? Yankho pafupifupi aliyense amachita, ndipo inde ali. Popanda izo, simungayambe ndondomeko ya machiritso ndikupita patsogolo. Ndiye, zonena zotani muzokambirana zotsekera ndipo munthu ayenera kuchita bwanji ndendende? Kumbukirani mfundo 7 izi:

1. Kumanani nawo ndikukambirana komaliza

M'malo mongolemberana mameseji otsekera kwa bwenzi lakale kapena bwenzi lake lakale, ndi bwino kuti mukumane nawo pamasom'pamaso ndikukambirana. Pamene zonse zanenedwa ndi kuchitidwa ndipo mukudziwa kuti kutha ndi zenizeni zomwe muyenera kuthana nazo, ndi bwino kukumana pamasom'pamaso kuti mukambirane. Onetsetsani kuti wokondedwa wanu nayenso amvetsetsa kuti ichi ndi chimake cha nkhani yanu osati kuyesa kutsitsimutsa chibwenzi chomwe chinafa.

Kodi munganene chiyani kwa wakale kuti atseke? Ingowayimbirani ndikufika pamalowo popanda kuwamanga mozama. Uzani mnzanu wakale kuti mukufunikira nkhani yomalizayi kuti muthe kuthetsa vutoli m'maganizo mwanu ndipo ali ndi ngongole kwa inu, ngakhale pang'ono. Sankhani malo omwe simunalowererepo pa zokambiranazi pambuyo pa kutha, kuti muthe kukambirana moona mtima popanda kuyitanitsa chidwi kuchokera kwa owonerera.

Komabe, pewani malo ochezera monga kunyumba kwanu kapena chipinda cha hotelo kuti muwonetsetse kuti kupeza mpata woti mugone ndi chibwenzi chanu mutatha kusudzulana sikukupangitsani kugona ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale mukakhala wofooka. Yembekezerani kuti zokambiranazo zikhale zosokoneza komanso zobweretsa misozi, nthabwala, komanso mwina ngakhale kusinthana kwa ubale wakale . Kupatula apo, chisankho chopatukana chingakhale chopweteka kwa onse awiri.

2. Zoyenera kunena pomaliza kukambirana? Kambiranani mitu yonse yomwe mukufuna kutseka

Kodi mungatseke bwanji kuchokera kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani? Osasiya funso lililonse losafunsidwa komanso loyankhidwa. Komabe, muyenera kuyesa kuyang'ana momwe mukumvera, ndikusankhatu kuti ndi mafunso ati omwe angakuthandizeni kapena kukupwetekani kwambiri. Ryan ndi Linda anakumana kaamba ka nkhani yotsekera pambuyo posiyana pa malo ogulitsira khofi. Pamene Ryan ankayankha mafunso ambiri amene Linda ankamufunsa, zinthu zinafika povuta.

Patapita kanthawi, antchito anasonkhana pamodzi ndipo ankaoneka odandaula kwambiri pamene Linda anali kudzudzula. Ngati mukudzimvera chisoni kale, kuonerera anthu oti akuonerera kungawonjezere kudzimvera chisoni kwanu. Komabe, ngati kusokonezeka kwa anthu si chinthu chomwe mumaopa, lolani kuti mupite. Chofunika kwambiri ndichakuti mukakumana kuti mukambirane nkhani yomaliza mutatha kusudzulana, musasiye nkhani kapena mafunso aliwonse omwe angakhale m'maganizo mwanu. Ngati mukufuna kukhalabe bwenzi ndi wakale wanu , kambiranani za malamulo ndi zikhalidwe za zokambirana ndi misonkhano yamtsogolo.

Koma bwanji ngati inu ndi wakale wanu simungakhale pafupi? Pankhaniyi, muyenera kupeza momwe mungatsekereretsere chibwenzi kuchokera kwa wakale yemwe sakufuna kulankhula nanu. Namrata akufotokoza kuti, "Choyamba, fotokozani momveka bwino nkhani zomwe mukufuna kuti mutsekerere chibwenzi chanu ndipo mufunseni kuti mutsekerere chibwenzi chanu mwaulemu. Koma ngati sakufuna kulankhula nanu konse, muyenera kusiya kulankhula nanu ngati palibe yankho. Ndi bwino kusunga ulemu wanu ndi kudzidalira kwanu ndikusiya ngati akupitiriza kukunyalanyazani ngakhale mutayesetsa. Khalani ndi kudzikuza pang'ono. Ngakhale kuti zingatenge nthawi yayitali kuti mufike pamtendere ndi mtendere m'moyo, n'zotheka kupita patsogolo popanda kutseka chibwenzi.

3. Siyani zokambirana kwa nthawi yomwe mwagwirizana ndikutseka popanda kulumikizana

Momwe mungatsekere m'banja mwanu mutasiya kukwatirana si nkhani yoti mulowe m'nyumba mwanu mwachangu n'kuwafunsa mafunso ambiri. Njira yonse yotsekere m'banja imafuna kuti munthu atengenso mpata kuchokera kwa winayo. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti simungapitirize kukhala m'miyoyo ya wina ndi mnzake monga mwachizolowezi mukangosiya kukwatirana. Ndiye, mungatsekere bwanji m'banja mwanu mutasiya kukwatirana? Perekani nthawi kuti ululu wonse uchiritsidwe. Musatumize imelo, kuyimbira foni, kapena kutumizirana uthenga ndi mnzanu wakale mpaka mutathetsa ululu ndi kusweka mtima. Tikhulupirireni, lamulo loti musalumikizane limagwira ntchito.

Mukapempha kutseka paubwenzi, ndikofunika kukhazikitsa malamulo okhudza kuchira pambuyo pa kutha. Zachidziwikire, ngati pali ma vitriol ochulukirapo komanso ma vibes oyipa, simuyenera kuda nkhawa kuti mukufuna kuyankhula kapena kulumikizana konse ndikuyesetsa kupeza kutseka popanda kulumikizana. Namrata akuti, “Munthu amene wakumana ndi zowawa amafunikira nthawi yotalikirapo osalumikizana naye kuti atseke.

"Uwu ndi mutu wodzidalira kwambiri chifukwa, kwa anthu ena, machiritso amatha kuchitika mwachangu kwambiri, pomwe kwa ena, mkwiyo ndi kuwawidwa mtima zitha kukhala moyo wonse." Malingaliro anga, ngati munthu wangotuluka kumene paubwenzi wapoizoni, wankhanza, ndikofunikira kudula maubwenzi onse ndi munthuyo kuti atseke. 

"Ngati kusudzulana kunali kwa awiriwa, lamulo loti asalumikizane silingagwire ntchito pamenepo. Titha kuganiza kuti ubalewo unatha pa mgwirizano wabwino potengera chisankho chofatsa komanso chodekha. Ndipo pali kuthekera kuti angakhale ndi mabwenzi ambiri ofanana, kotero angakumane pa maphwando kapena ngakhale pazochitika za m'banja. Kulankhulana sikungakhale kovulaza kwambiri kwa aliyense wa iwo."

"Pomaliza, ngati wina sakufuna kuyankhulana ndi mnzake, ndingalimbikitse kwambiri kuti woyamba sayenera kukakamiza mnzakeyo. Apa, mukungoyesa kugwirizana ndi wakale wanu pamene akufuna kukuchotsani. Ndipo izi zingayambitse nkhawa komanso chiwawa. Kumva ngati wakukanidwa kumangobweranso nthawi zonse mukawapempha kuti mucheze.

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4. Lembani mndandanda wa zolakwa zonse, ndipo kambiranani za kudzikhululukira nokha ndi wokondedwa wanu

Nachi chitsanzo cha kutsekedwa mu ubale. Msonkhano wotsekedwa ukatha, khalani pansi ndi malingaliro abwino ndikulemba mndandanda wa zochitika zonse zabwino ndi zoipa zomwe zachitika muubwenzi wanu mpaka pano. Chitani chilungamo! Lembani chilichonse chaching'ono chomwe chinayambitsa kupatukana ndi kutha kwa ubalewu. Kenako sinkhasinkhani maganizo amenewa m’maganizo mwanu kapena kunena kuti “Ndakukhululukirani” mokweza. Izi zimachiritsa mkwiyo, chisoni, kusakhulupirika, ndi kuipidwa.

Kumbukirani kuti, kwa anthu ena, kukhululuka ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri yopezera kutsekedwa pambuyo pa kutha. Simukukhululukira wakale wanu ndi kuwaleka mbedza chifukwa cha iwo koma inu nokha. Mpaka mutasiya kukwiyira ndi mkwiyo, zingakhale zovuta kuti mutseke mutatha kupatukana.

Ngati muli ndi ngongole yoti mutseke chibwenzi chanu chakale, mutha kukhala nawo limodzi kapena kuwatumizira kudzera pa imelo ndikuwauza zomwe zinagwira ntchito ndi zomwe sizinagwire ntchito. Mutha kukambirana za kutseka chibwenzi pambuyo pake kenako nkuthetsa chibwenzicho. Mudzamva bwino kwambiri. Iyi ndi njira yabwino yosiyira mavuto amalingaliro . Kuthetsa chibwenzi mukatha chibwenzi ndi chinthu chabwino komanso choyenera kuchita. Pokhapokha ngati chinali chibwenzi choopsa kapena chozunza, ndi ulemu womwe muyenera kupereka kwa mnzanu wakale.

5. Osafufuza zam'mbuyo

Nayi chitsanzo china cha kutseka chibwenzi chomwe chakhala chikuchedwa kwa nthawi yayitali. Glen anali kupita ku malo opumulirako osinkhasinkha ndi anzake komwe adapeza kuti anali ndi nkhawa yayikulu kotero kuti sanathe kusiya ululu womwe adakumana nawo chifukwa cha kusudzulana kwake komaliza zaka zapitazo. Malingaliro osathetsedwawa adayambitsanso nkhawa yayikulu muubwenzi watsopano yomwe idalepheretsa Glen kulola aliyense kulowa m'moyo wake. Sanazindikire kuti kupeza kutseka chibwenzi ndi wakale pakapita zaka zambiri kungamuvutitse kwambiri m'moyo wake chonchi.

Kumapeto kwa malo obwererako, anafunsa mmodzi wa alangizi mmene angapiririre, ndipo mlangiziyo anayankha kuti, “Tsekerani bukhulo ponena za moyo wanu wakale.” Inalidi malangizo othandiza. Osatsegula bukhu. Osayang'ana zakale. Lili ngati tsamba lakufa; yagwera pansi ndipo idzavunda ndi kusanduka matope.

6. Osalowa m'maubwenzi obwereranso ngati simunachire

Sitingathe kutsindika mokwanira kufunika kwa ichi. Momwe mungatsekeredwe pakutha sikukhudza kutsitsanso mapulogalamu a zibwenzi kuyambira zaka zitatu zapitazo ndikuti inde kwa munthu aliyense amene akuwoneka momwe mukufunira. Ngakhale kukopa momwe kungakhalire kufuna kutulukanso kuti muchepetse nkhonya ndikuyiwala ululu, chimenecho sichinthu chomwe mwakonzekera panthawiyi.

Ngakhale mutapusitsidwa ndi munthu wina, pamapeto pake mumangoyamba kuwafananiza ndi wakale wanu, kukulitsa kufunikira kwanu kotseka ndikudzipangitsa kukhala olakalaka kwambiri. Yankho la momwe mungatsekere kuchokera kwa wakale yemwe sangalankhule nanu sikupeza bwenzi latsopano nthawi yomweyo.

Tikhulupirireni tikakuuzani kuti zingowonjezera zinthu. Ngakhale mutakhala ndi miyala ndi wakale wanu ndipo simungathe kukambirana nawo, muyenera kupeza njira zina zothetsera ubalewu. Kaya ndi yoga ndi kusinkhasinkha kapena kupita paulendo payekha, chirichonse cha izo ndi bwino kuposa kudzikakamiza kuti agwirizane ndi chibwenzi dziwe kachiwiri pamene inu kale unamwino wosweka mtima.

7. Kuti mutseke munthu amene simukulankhula naye, mukhululukireni komanso inuyo

Ariana anali pachibwenzi ndi Melvin kwa zaka 7, kuyambira ali kusukulu ya sekondale, kenako awiriwa analekana chifukwa cha nsanje yomwe inayamba kubwera muukwatiwo. Popeza panali mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo wambiri, awiriwa sanalankhule kapena kufotokoza bwino maganizo awo atalekana. Izi zinawonjezera kuipa kwa momwe Ariana ankamvera chifukwa sanangotaya munthu amene ankamukonda kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi komanso anali kukumana ndi malingaliro oipa kwambiri pa iye.

Ariana anatiuza kuti, "Zinanditengera pafupifupi miyezi isanu ndi itatu kuchokera pamene ndinasudzulana kuti ndizindikire kuti njira yokhayo yomwe ndingakhalire wosangalala ndi kukhululukira Melvin. Kwa ine, ndiko kutsekedwa. Sindinakhalepo ndi mwayi woganizira zomwe ndinganene pomaliza kukambirana kapena ngati ndiyenera kuganizira zosiya kalata yotsekera kwa bwenzi langa lakale. koma nditamukhululukira ine ndi ine, ndinganene kuti ndapeza kutsekeka muubwenzi umenewo mwina sindine wokonzeka kupitirizabe koma sindimukwiyiranso.

Chitsanzo ichi cha kutseka mu ubale chimatiuza momwe kutsekera kwamkati kwamkati kumakhala kosunthika komanso kwamtendere. Kutseka sikutanthauza kuti lemba lakutsanzikana kapena msonkhano womwe munthu wina anganene kuti, “Zikomo chifukwa cha zaka zabwinozo.” Nthawi zina zinthu zikafika poipa, anthu sakhala ndi mwayi wochita zimenezi. Chotero ngakhale kuli kofunika kukumana nawo pamasom’pamaso ndi kukambitsirana, nthaŵi zina sizingakhale zotheka. Zikatero, kukhululuka ndiye njira yokhayo yodzimvera chisoni.

Kodi kutseka ukwati n'kofunika kwambiri munthu akatha kusudzulana? Yankho la funsoli ndi lomveka bwino pakadali pano - ndikofunikira kwambiri kuchira ndikupitiliza. Komabe, ndikofunikiranso kudziwa kuti simukusowa munthu wina kuti mupeze kutseka ukwati. Inde, kuwayankha mafunso anu kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino za kusudzulana kwanu ndikuvomereza. Komabe, kutseka kwenikweni - komwe ndi kukonzeka kusiya zakale ndikukhala osangalala - kungachokere mkati mwanu.

Tikukhulupirira kuti tsopano mukudziwa momwe mungathetsere mavuto mukatha kusudzulana. Ngati simungathe kusudzulana ndi wakale wanu, yang'anani pa kupeza njira yanu yothetsera mavuto popanda kulankhulana ndi munthu winayo. Kufunafuna uphungu kungakuthandizeni kwambiri pobweretsa chidziwitso chatsopano. Ngati mukufunabe kuthetsa mavuto ndi wakale wanu patatha zaka zambiri, akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito pa gulu la Bonobology angakuthandizeni kufika pamenepo. Thandizo loyenera ndi kungodinanso kamodzi.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.