Uphungu wa ukwati usanalowe m'banja kapena uphungu wa okwatirana asanalowe m'banja ndi wophunzitsa ndipo nthawi zambiri umaperekedwa kwa iwo omwe akukonzekera kukonzekera ulendo wautali waukwati. Khulupirirani Gillian Flynn, wolemba Gone Girl , pamene analemba kuti, "Ukwati ndi mgwirizano ndi ntchito yovuta, kenako ntchito yovuta komanso kulankhulana ndi mgwirizano. Kenako gwirani ntchito. Siyani chiyembekezo chonse, inu amene mulowa." Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kudzikonza nokha ndi mnzanu kuti mupewe zofooka za wina ndi mnzake zomwe zingawopseze ukwatiwo.
Cholinga cha uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi kukuthandizani kukonzekera mavuto a m’banja mwanu. Kodi uphungu musanalowe m'banja ndi wofunikira kwa inu ndi mnzanu? Ngati mwatsala pang'ono kuyamba ulendo wanu wa m'banja, ndi bwino kumvetsa kuti uphungu musanalowe m'banja ndi chiyani komanso ubwino wake kuti mudziwe mmene ubwenzi wanu ungapindulire nawo.
Kodi Uphungu Usanakwatire N'chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti chiŵerengero cha mabanja osudzulana ku US chakhala chikukwera kwa anthu obadwa ndi mimba. Izi zikusonyeza kuchepa kwa chikhutiro cha mabanja pakapita nthawi. Mkhalidwe woterewu ungayambitse nkhawa m'mabanja mwa anthu okwatirana omwe atsala pang'ono kumanga ukwati. Robyn Parker, wolemba buku lakuti Why Marriages Last?, akufotokoza uphungu wa ukwati asanakwatirane kuti, "Mapulogalamu omwe amafuna kulimbikitsa maanja kuti aganizire bwino komanso aphunzire maluso ndi cholinga cholimbikitsa ndikuthandizira chitukuko cha ubale wolimba komanso wathanzi."
Uphungu usanakwatire ndi njira yochepetsera maphunziro a m'banja. Kufunika kwa uphungu musanalowe m’banja n’chakuti kungakuthandizeni kudziwana bwino ndi mnzanuyo, kuphunzira ndi kuphunzira njira zothetsera mikangano, kukambirana za mikangano imene ingachitike m’tsogolo, ndiponso kuti mukhale osangalala m’banja.
Scott Braithwaite, pulofesa wa zamaganizo azachipatala ku Bringham Young University, anati poyankhulana , "Uphungu asanakwatirane ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yoti anthu azichita homuweki yawo yokhudza chisankho chofunikira kwambiri chomwe apanga. Njirayi imawapatsa luso lomwe lingakhale lofunikira kwambiri kuti ubale wabanja upitirire."
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mgwirizano wa Ukwati - Kodi Mungadziwe Bwanji Ngati Mukufunika?
Kodi muyenera kuyamba liti kupereka uphungu musanalowe m’banja?
Chabwino, simuyenera kudikira tsiku laukwati. Kuyambira nthawi yomwe m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo akufunsira ukwati, zochitika zonse zimatha kukhala zotanganidwa, kusiya nthawi yocheperako yopangira upangiri. Ngakhale kuti zopinga zimenezi n’zovomerezeka, kukonzekera magawo a mlungu ndi mlungu pamene mwaganiza zolowa m’banja kungakhale kothandiza.
Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi wautali bwanji? Gawoli limakhala mphindi 60 lililonse, koma kuchuluka kwa magawo omwe banja lingafunike kumadalira kwambiri momwe ubale wawo ukuyendera. Mungapezenso mabuku angapo odzithandiza okha kwa anthu amene ali pachibwenzi koma m’chipwirikiti chokonzekera ukwati, misonkhano ya munthu ndi m’modzi ikhoza kukhala yothandiza kwambiri.
Komabe, kutsatira malangizowo ngakhale pamene mavuto a kukonzekera ukwati akukulirakulira n'kofunika kwambiri. Kukonzekera ukwati kungayambitse kusamvana ndi nkhawa pakati pa okwatirana. Maphunziro a uphungu asanakwatirane angapereke malo otetezeka othetsera mavutowo. Kungakhale malo omwe inu ndi mnzanu mungathetsere mavuto anu, motsogozedwa ndi mlangizi waluso.
Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani pa uphungu musanakwatirane?
Kodi mungayembekezere chiyani muuphungu musanalowe m'banja kapena momwe mungakonzekerere uphungu wauphungu wa banja loyamba? Chabwino, lekani kudandaula. Khalani osasunthika ndikuyang'ana pa kukhala wosalankhula komanso wowona mtima. Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kutsegula kabati ya zinthu zomwe simungathe kunena kwa yemwe mungakhale mukwatirana naye. Ngati ndi nthawi yanu yoyamba ndi mlangizi chisanadze ukwati, ndiye ukwati ndi mabanja othandizira amayesa kukupangitsani omasuka pofunsa mafunso ambiri monga mmene anakumana kapena kugwa m'chikondi. Pambuyo pomasula mahinji, nkhani zazikulu zimayankhidwa.
Mwachitsanzo, mlangizi angafunse banjali za nkhani zovuta monga kukhala mabwenzi ndi wakale , mikangano iliyonse yakale, kapena zovuta zomwe adakumana nazo limodzi (monga imfa ya kholo kapena munthu wapafupi), komanso nkhani zina zofunika monga ana, ndalama, umwini, ndi zina zotero.
Mlangizi atha kudziwa zambiri za mabanja anu, ntchito, abwenzi, ndi dera lanu. Akhozanso kukupatsani 'zoyembekeza m'banja' zomwe muyenera kumaliza ngati 'homuweki'. Izi zimathandiza mlangizi kuzindikira mtundu wa banja lomwe muli. Kutengera izi, atha kupereka malingaliro kapena malingaliro awo.
Mwachitsanzo, ntchito za jenda zasintha kwambiri masiku ano. Koma ngati m’modzi wa okwatiranawo sakufuna kuvomereza kusinthaku pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wake akuwayembekezera kutero, kungadzetse mpatuko waukulu m’zimene zikanakhala, mwinamwake, banja labwino. Magawowa amakuthandizani kuti mudutse gawo la 'kukondani momwe mulili' ndikuwona munthuyo momwe alili.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Pamene Mwamuna Ndiye Wopereka Chakudya Ndipo Mkazi Wakana Kupereka
Mitundu Yauphungu Asanakwatirane
Uphungu kwa maanja omwe ali m'banja ukhoza kukhala wamitundu yosiyanasiyana, kutengera momwe mikangano ingakulire. Koma zokambirana zambiri za maanja zimatsata njira yomwe amatsindika luso loyankhulana bwino, kukonzekera zachuma, ndi chiyanjano. Zina mwa njira zodziwika bwino ndi izi:
1. Njira ya Gottman
Njira ya Gottman imafuna kuti akatswiri odziwa za ukwati ndi mabanja aziwunika bwino onse awiri kuti amvetse bwino zokambirana zawo zamkati. Mutha kupatsidwa PDF ya Mafunso 100 Okhudza Uphungu Musanakwatirane kutengera kafukufuku wakale. Imagwira ntchito yokweza ubwino wa ubalewu pokuthandizani kukhala omvetsetsana kwambiri muubwenzi wanu ndikukupatsani luso lothetsera mavuto lomwe lingakuthandizeni kumanga ubale wolimba.
2. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT ndi chithandizo chanthawi yochepa chomwe chimathandiza kupanga njira zatsopano zoyankhulirana zogwira mtima komanso zabwino pamene okwatirana ayambana. EFT imayang'ana kwambiri pakuwongolera kulumikizana ndikuthandizira kuthetsa mikangano.
3. Psychodynamic Ukwati Uphungu
Psychodynamic maanja therapy imayang'ana zomwe zimayambitsa poganizira zakale. Ochiritsa atha kupereka chithandizo chamunthu payekha m'malo mophatikizana. Apa, mafunso opereka uphungu asanalowe m'banja amayang'ana pakumvetsetsa mantha osazindikira kudzera mumayendedwe, kapena masewero.
Kodi Ubwino Wauphungu Usanakwatire Ndi Chiyani?
Ubwino umodzi waukulu wa uphungu wa anthu osakwatirana ndi woti umathandizira okondedwa awo kufotokoza bwino nkhani zambiri m’njira yabwino. Pakhoza kukhala zokhumudwitsa zakale zomwe zingakule ngati zisiyidwa.
Kodi kusadzidalira kwa mnzanu kumakupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa? Kodi nkhawa za kuntchito zimasokoneza ubale wanu? Mafunso ngati awa akhoza kukhala maziko a zokambirana zomwe mungakhale nazo musanalowe m'banja. Mlangizi angakuthandizeni kuthetsa mkwiyo woopsawo musanayambe kuchitapo kanthu.
Komabe simukudziwa ngati uphungu chisanadze ukwati ndi koyenera kwa inu? Nawa maubwino ena 12 a upangiri wa maanja musanalowe m'banja zomwe muyenera kuziganizira musanayitane komaliza pankhaniyi.
1. Uphungu musanalowe m’banja umakuthandizani pa nkhani zofunika kwambiri
Kukhala ndi zoyembekeza zina kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu popanda kukambirana za izo kungayambitse mikangano m'banja. Monga nthawi yabwino yopezera ndalama m'nyumba, nthawi yobereka ana, komanso nthawi ziti. Zambiri mwa ziyembekezozi zitha kukhala zosokoneza ngati sizikufotokozedwa munthawi yake. Nkhani zimene zimafunika kukonzekera zingakambidwetu pasadakhale pulogalamu yopereka uphungu musanalowe m’banja.
2. Cholinga cha uphungu musanalowe mbanja - Kupititsa patsogolo luso lotha kuthetsa kusamvana
Anthu okwatirana akakhazikika m’chizoloŵezi cha moyo wa m’banja, mikangano yatsopano imayamba. Kaya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amangokhalira kusangalala kwambiri ndi Netflix kapena wogwira nawo ntchito wopanda vuto paphwando, nkhani zimabuka, ngakhale zing'onozing'ono kapena zazikulu bwanji, ndipo ziyenera kuthetsedwa. Mlangizi angapereke malangizo amene asanalowe m’banja amomwe mungachitire ndi mikhalidwe yosiyanasiyana pamene yabuka.
Ngati pabuka kusamvana, kufuula, kuponyerana zinthu, kapena kulekana mokwiya si njira yoyenera yothetsera kusamvana . Chithandizo cha pa intaneti musanakwatirane kapena misonkhano ya maso ndi maso imakuthandizani kuphunzira momwe mungathetsere kusamvana bwino, kuthetsa mavuto ena mwa kukambirana modekha, ndikuseka ena.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kulipira Ukwati - Kodi Ndondomeko Yabwino Ndi Chiyani?
3. Mumaphunzira kuzolowerana ndi makhalidwe a wina ndi mzake
Kodi mnzanu amanjenjemera akamaganiza kuti, “Ine ngati ine”, pakati pa pulogalamu yophikira yomwe mukuonera? Kodi phokoso la kutafuna kwa mnzanuyo limakupangitsani kukwera khoma? Ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri okwatirana amavutika kufotokozerana zinthu zazing'onozi ndi zizolowezi zosasangalatsa , amavutika nazo.
Mukayenera kupirira tsiku ndi tsiku, zokhumudwitsa zowoneka ngati zazing'onozi zimatha kukhala zoyambitsa zazikulu. Mlangizi adzafotokoza zizolowezi zonse ndi makhalidwe omwe mungafune kusintha kuti agwirizane bwino m'banja lanu. Mlangizi adzakudziwitsaninso zinthu zonse zomwe zimakhala za inu nonse, kuti mukhale ndi chitonthozo chapamwamba wina ndi mzake. Kukhala ndi thanzi labwino mu gawo la chithandizo, ndi katswiri woti akuthandizeni, ndikwabwino kuposa kuphulika mopanda malire zaka zambiri pambuyo pake.
4. Mumazindikira madera omwe angayambitse mikangano
Zimakukonzekeretsani bwino za ndewu yamtsogolo ndipo imakuwonetsani momwe muyenera kulimbana nayo. Joanna, yemwe ndi wantchito wapakhomo wa ku Ohio, anatiuza kuti: “Mwamuna wanga ankafuna kuyang’ana m’malo amene anthu amakhalamo kaamba ka tsiku lathu lalikulu m’malo mwa madyerero kapena hotelo, zimene banja langa linkaganiza kuti n’loipa.” Kusiyana kumeneku kwa kaonedwe kathu kunapangitsa kuti tisamalankhulane. Uphungu usanalowe m'banja ungathandize kuzindikira mbali za mikangano zomwe sizimawonekera ukwati usanachitike. “
Pambuyo pa kutengamo mbali m’maprogramu ameneŵa, okwatirana ananena kapena anawonedwa kukhala okhoza kuthetsa mavuto a unansi mogwiritsira ntchito njira zolankhulirana zogwira mtima, ndipo pa avareji, anasimba milingo yapamwamba yaubwenzi,” akutero Jason S Carroll, pulofesa wa Bringham Young University wa ukwati, banja, ndi kakulidwe ka anthu, m’kufunsidwa.
5. Mumaphunzira kuvomereza mfundo zazikulu ndi kulemekeza kusiyana
Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati maloto anu mumzinda wina akutsutsana ndi kukwezedwa kwa mnzanu wina? Mukabweretsa mafunso ngati awa patsogolo, sizimathandiza mlangizi komanso inunso. Chithandizo cha anthu musanalowe m'banja nthawi zambiri chimagwiritsa ntchito mafunso a 'kuzindikiritsa zikhulupiriro zazikulu' zomwe zimakuthandizani kuzindikira kusiyana kwanu ndi malingaliro omasuka, moona mtima kotheratu, ndi malingaliro kuti muvomereze kusiyanako m'malo moyesera kutsutsa. Izi zimakuthandizani kuzindikira zinthu zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupanga zisankho zomwe zimalemekeza zomwe aliyense ali nazo.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kufunidwa: Mwamuna Watsopano Wa ku India! Zofunikira: Kutsogolera ndi Kutsatiranso!
6. Mumaphunzira mmene mungachitire ndi ziyembekezo za m’banja
Aliyense ali ndi lingaliro la ukwati m'mutu mwake. Komabe, ukwati wanu sungatheke monga momwe mumayembekezera. Zimenezi zingayambitse kukhumudwa. Kukambirana za ziyembekezo zotere pasadakhale kumatsimikizira ukwati wokhala ndi maziko olimba. Kukhala pachibwenzi kumatanthauza kukambirana momasuka za ziyembekezo zanu kuchokera muukwati. Komabe, si aliyense amene ali womasuka kufotokoza maganizo ake kapena kudziwa kuti ali ndi nkhawa zobisika zomwe ayenera kugawana. Ndicho chifukwa chake mapulogalamu olangiza anthu asanakwatirane alipo.
7. Mumayamba kukambirana pazachuma
Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amakonda kugula zinthu zamtengo wapatali kamodzi pamwezi pamene mukugula zinthu nthawi imene mukuzifuna? Nanga bwanji za kugawana ndalama zapakhomo, kusunga, ndi kugulitsa katundu? Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe muyenera kudziwa za wokondedwa wanu musanalowe m'banja ndi momwe amaonera ndalama ndi kasamalidwe ka chuma, ndipo mosiyana.
Kusunga ndi kuwononga ndalama mutatha ukwati kungakhale kukambitsirana kovuta koma ziyenera kuthetsedwa bwino pakapita nthawi. Kupatula izi, alangizi amathanso kukulangizani momwe mungakonzekere bajeti ya mwezi uliwonse, yoyikidwa ngati "ndalama zosangalatsa" ndikusankha yemwe amalipira ngongole. Izi ndi zina mwazambiri zomwe zikuyenera kusanjidwa panthawi ya upangiri kuti zinthu zisawonekere zovuta pambuyo pabanja.
8. Mumakhala patsamba lomwelo za ana
Kodi mudzakhala ndi ana angati? Nyumba yodzaza kapena mukufuna kukhala ndi mwana mmodzi? Kapena mukufuna kukhala opanda ana? Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amavomereza? Funso la makolo likhoza kukhala losokoneza. Kodi pali nthawi yomwe mukufuna kungoyang'ana ntchito yanu, kusangalala, ndikuyenda musanakhazikike ndi ana?
Uphungu umenewu umakuthandizani kuti mukhale pa tsamba limodzi pankhani yobereka ana. Kodi iwo adzakhala okonzeka kutenga mwana? Kodi mwanayo akanasiyidwa kumalo osamalira ana, kapena kodi kholo limodzi likanatenga sabata kuti lilele mwanayo? Zitha kuwoneka ngati zosafunikira, koma izi ndi zina mwazofunikira kwambiri. Kukambirana kwa uphungu musanalowe m'banja kungathandize kufotokoza izi, kuti mudziwe zomwe mukuchita.
9. Mumaphunzira kukhazikitsa malire ndi mabanja
Mafunso ena omwe mungafunse okondedwa anu musanalowe m'banja ndi monga momwe amachitira pabanja komanso zachinsinsi. Ndi maphwando angati abanja omwe mungadutse popanda kukhala nkhani? Kodi achibale adzakhala ndi chonena pa moyo wanu waukwati? Kodi makolo angacheze kangati?
Awa akhoza kukhala mafunso ovuta kuwafunsa ndikuwayankha koma magawowa amakupatsirani malo otetezeka oti muzikambilana za mabanja a wina ndi mzake, ndi katswiri waluso kuti atsogolere zokambiranazo.
10. Mumaphunzira kupanga malo otetezeka a ubwenzi
Ubwenzi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pazochitika za ubale wa banja. Koma ngati okwatirana onse aŵiri sali pa tsamba limodzi ponena za zimenezo, zingadzetse kusakhutira, kusagwirizana, ndi kutalikirana m’banja.
Maphunziro a uphungu musanakwatirane adzakuphunzitsani za kumasula ubale wapamtima komanso kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri ndi zosowa za wina ndi mnzake. Ngati pakufunika kutero, mutha kusankha nthawi yomwe mungakwaniritse nonse ndikuyambiranso dongosololi ndikusintha pamene mukukula ndikukula.
11. Uphungu umathandizira kuthetsa zikhulupiriro zozikidwa pa chikhulupiliro ndi kusiyana maganizo
Ngati mmodzi wa inu ali wopembedza ndipo winayo sakhulupirira kuti kuli Mulungu, muyenera kuika malire pa nkhani zachipembedzo m’nyumba. Kodi kupita kuchikhulupiriro chanu kamodzi pamlungu n'kofunika kwa inu? Kodi atsogoleri azipembedzo azidzalamulira zinthu zofunika pamoyo? Ndiponso, ngati muli ndi ana, kodi ndi zikhulupiriro ziti zachipembedzo zimene angaleredwe nazo? Kodi m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo amayembekezera kuti apite ku Sande sukulu?
Uphungu wochepetsa mikangano yachipembedzo nthawi zambiri umayang'ana kwambiri pa mafunso otere. Ndi bwino kukhala omasuka pankhani imeneyi kuyambira pachiyambi kusiyana ndi kukangana kwambiri Lamlungu lililonse m'mawa. Kupatula apo, zikhulupiriro zosiyanasiyana zachipembedzo ziyenera kukambidwa mwanjira yomwe siidzavulaza malingaliro a mnzawo aliyense ndikuyambitsa mikangano mtsogolo.
12. Mumadziwa moyo wa okondedwa wanu
Kodi ndi kangati mukadzalowa m'banja? Ngati wina sakufuna kupita, mnzakeyo angapite yekha kapena angayembekezere kusiya mapulani? Kodi mudzapeza bwanji malo apakati mwa kunyalanyaza pamisonkhano yoti mupiteko ndiponso yoti mudumphe? Pambuyo paukwati, mudzakhala mbali ya macheza a wina ndi mnzake. Alangizi omwe asanalowe m'banja amakuthandizani kuvomereza izi ndikukhala ndi dongosolo lothandizira kuthana ndi zibwenzi ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Uphungu usanalowe m'banja ndi mndandanda wa mapulogalamu omwe amafuna kuphunzitsa maanja kusinkhasinkha ndi kuphunzitsa maluso kuti alimbikitse ndi kuthandizira kukulitsa maubwenzi olimba ndi athanzi.
- Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zoperekera uphungu musanalowe m’banja, ngakhale kuti zonse zimadalira kulankhulana
- Uphungu usanakwatire umathandizira kuzindikira mikangano yomwe ingakhalepo komanso njira zothetsera mavutowo
Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi wofunika kwa aliyense? Chabwino, ukwati si wophweka. Kotero ngakhale simukuganiza kuti mukuzifuna, ingoyesani. Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja n’ngopindulitsa? Ngakhale mungakaikire, phindu lake limaposa mtengo wa uphungu musanalowe m’banja. Mukhozanso kusankha kulandira uphungu musanalowe m’banja pa intaneti. Chithandizo cha pa intaneti chingakhale chothandizira kwambiri ngati simungathe kupeza nthawi pakati pa ntchito zonse zokonzekera ukwati. Mutha kusankhanso kupeza mabuku opangira uphungu musanalowe m'banja omwe akupezeka pa intaneti, koma kuti mudziwe bwino, kulowererapo kwa anthu ndikofunikira.
Ibibazo
Research Zimasonyeza kuti zikhoza kukhala chida chothandiza kuthetsa mavuto omwe angasinthe kukhala zopunthwitsa paulendo waukwati pambuyo pake. Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja umagwira ntchito? Statistics kuwulula kuti uphungu wa maanja musanalowe m’banja ukhoza kupititsa patsogolo chipambano chaukwati ndi 30%. Kufunika kopereka uphungu asanalowe m'banja kumatsimikiziridwa ndi mfundo yakuti 44% ya maanja masiku ano amakambilana zokambilana kapena uphungu kwa maanja omwe ali pachibwenzi asanayende mnjira, monga momwe izi zikunenera. phunziro.
Mtengo wapakati wa uphungu waukwati ku US uli pakati pa $125 ndi $175 pa gawo lililonse, malinga ndi WhatItCosts . Ndipo mudzafunika magawo angapo. Ku Bonobology, mutha kupeza chithandizo cha alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito pamtengo woyambira $25 mpaka $50 pa gawo lililonse. Mutha kusankha uphungu wokhudzana ndi chibwenzi ngakhale simukuwona mavuto aliwonse muubwenzi wanu. Cholinga chachikulu ndikusintha kukhala mitundu yabwino komanso gulu labwino ngati banja.
Inde, mutha kufunafuna uphungu musanakwatirane pa intaneti. Ukwati ndi mgwirizano wopatulika, ndipo timamvetsetsa ndi kuuyamikira. Koma umafunikanso maziko olimba kuti ukhale wabwino. Akatswiri athu azaumoyo m'banja ndi m'banja alipo kuti apereke uphungu ndi chithandizo cha pa intaneti kudzera pa WhatsApp, Hangouts, Zoom, kapena njira yanu yolankhulirana yomwe mumakonda.
Zokambirana 5 Zoyenera Kukambirana Musanalowe M'banja Kuti Mupewe Mavuto M'tsogolo
Kodi Zimathandiza Kuyankhulana Zachuma Chogwirizana Musanakwatirane?
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
