Uphungu wa anthu asanalowe m’banja kapena uphungu wa maanja musanalowe m’banja ndi wophunzitsa ndipo nthawi zambiri umaperekedwa kwa amene akukonzekera ulendo waukwati womwe ukupita nthawi yaitali. Khulupirirani Gillian Flynn, wolemba wa Wopanda Mtsikana, pamene analemba kuti: “Ukwati ndi kulolerana ndi kugwira ntchito molimbika, ndiyeno kugwira ntchito molimbika ndi kulankhulana ndi kulolerana.” Kenako gwirani ntchito. Choncho, n’kofunika kwambiri kuti inuyo ndi mnzanuyo muzindikire zofooka za wina ndi mnzake zimene zingawononge ukwati wanu.
Cholinga cha uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi kukuthandizani kukonzekera mavuto a m’banja mwanu. Kodi uphungu musanalowe m'banja ndi wofunikira kwa inu ndi mnzanu? Ngati mwatsala pang'ono kuyamba ulendo wanu wa m'banja, ndi bwino kumvetsa kuti uphungu musanalowe m'banja ndi chiyani komanso ubwino wake kuti mudziwe mmene ubwenzi wanu ungapindulire nawo.
Kodi Uphungu Usanakwatire N'chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
A phunziro zikusonyeza kuti chiŵerengero cha chisudzulo ku US chakhala chikukwera kwa ana obadwa kumene. Izi zikusonyeza kugwa kwa chikhutiro chaukwati ndi nthawi. Mkhalidwe woterowo ungayambitse nkhawa m’banja mwa okwatirana amene atsala pang’ono kumanga fundo. Robyn Parker, wolemba N'chifukwa Chiyani Maukwati Amatha?, akufotokoza uphungu asanalowe m’banja monga, “Mapulogalamu omwe amafuna kuti maanja azitha kusinkhasinkha ndi kuphunzitsa maluso ndi cholinga cholimbikitsa ndi kulimbikitsa maubwenzi olimba ndi athanzi.”
Uphungu usanakwatire ndi njira yochepetsera maphunziro a m'banja. Kufunika kwa uphungu musanalowe m’banja n’chakuti kungakuthandizeni kudziwana bwino ndi mnzanuyo, kuphunzira ndi kuphunzira njira zothetsera mikangano, kukambirana za mikangano imene ingachitike m’tsogolo, ndiponso kuti mukhale osangalala m’banja.
Scott Braithwaite, pulofesa wa psychology ku Bringham Young University, adatero kuyankhulana, “Kupereka uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yochitira homuweki yokhudzana ndi chosankha chofunika kwambiri chimene angapange.
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Kodi muyenera kuyamba liti kupereka uphungu musanalowe m’banja?
Chabwino, simuyenera kudikira tsiku laukwati. Kuyambira nthawi yomwe m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo akufunsira ukwati, zochitika zonse zimatha kukhala zotanganidwa, kusiya nthawi yocheperako yopangira upangiri. Ngakhale kuti zopinga zimenezi n’zovomerezeka, kukonzekera magawo a mlungu ndi mlungu pamene mwaganiza zolowa m’banja kungakhale kothandiza.
Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi wautali bwanji? Gawoli limakhala mphindi 60 lililonse, koma kuchuluka kwa magawo omwe banja lingafunike kumadalira kwambiri momwe ubale wawo ukuyendera. Mungapezenso mabuku angapo odzithandiza okha kwa anthu amene ali pachibwenzi koma m’chipwirikiti chokonzekera ukwati, misonkhano ya munthu ndi m’modzi ikhoza kukhala yothandiza kwambiri.
Komabe, kugwirizana nawo ngakhale pamene chitsenderezo cha kukonzekera ukwati chikukula n’kofunika kwambiri. Kukonzekera ukwati Zingayambitse kusamvana ndi kupsyinjika pakati pa okwatirana. Uphungu usanalowe m'banja ungapereke malo otetezeka kuti athetseretu zovutazo. Atha kukhala malo omwe inu ndi okondedwa anu mutha kuthana ndi vuto lanu, motsogozedwa ndi mlangizi waluso.
Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani pa uphungu musanakwatirane?
Kodi mungayembekezere chiyani muuphungu musanalowe m'banja kapena momwe mungakonzekerere uphungu wauphungu wa banja loyamba? Chabwino, lekani kudandaula. Khalani osasunthika ndikuyang'ana pa kukhala wosalankhula komanso wowona mtima. Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kutsegula kabati ya zinthu zomwe simungathe kunena kwa yemwe mungakhale mukwatirana naye. Ngati ndi nthawi yanu yoyamba ndi mlangizi chisanadze ukwati, ndiye ukwati ndi mabanja othandizira amayesa kukupangitsani omasuka pofunsa mafunso ambiri monga mmene anakumana kapena kugwa m'chikondi. Pambuyo pomasula mahinji, nkhani zazikulu zimayankhidwa.
Mwachitsanzo, mlangizi atha kufunsa banjali za mitu yovuta ngati kukhala paubwenzi ndi ex, mkangano uliwonse m'mbuyomu, kapena zovuta zomwe adakumana nazo limodzi (monga imfa ya kholo kapena wina wapamtima), komanso mitu ina yofunika monga ana, ndalama, umwini, ndi zina zotero.
Mlangizi atha kudziwa zambiri za mabanja anu, ntchito, abwenzi, ndi dera lanu. Akhozanso kukupatsani 'zoyembekeza m'banja' zomwe muyenera kumaliza ngati 'homuweki'. Izi zimathandiza mlangizi kuzindikira mtundu wa banja lomwe muli. Kutengera izi, atha kupereka malingaliro kapena malingaliro awo.
Mwachitsanzo, ntchito za jenda zasintha kwambiri masiku ano. Koma ngati m’modzi wa okwatiranawo sakufuna kuvomereza kusinthaku pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wake akuwayembekezera kutero, kungadzetse mpatuko waukulu m’zimene zikanakhala, mwinamwake, banja labwino. Magawowa amakuthandizani kuti mudutse gawo la 'kukondani momwe mulili' ndikuwona munthuyo momwe alili.
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Mitundu Yauphungu Asanakwatirane
Uphungu kwa maanja omwe ali m'banja ukhoza kukhala wamitundu yosiyanasiyana, kutengera momwe mikangano ingakulire. Koma zokambirana zambiri za maanja zimatsata njira yomwe amatsindika luso loyankhulana bwino, kukonzekera zachuma, ndi chiyanjano. Zina mwa njira zodziwika bwino ndi izi:
1. Njira ya Gottman
Njira ya Gottman imaphatikizapo akatswiri azaukwati ndi mabanja kuwawunika bwino onse awiri kuti amvetsetse zokambirana zawo zamkati. Mutha kupatsidwa 100 PDF ya Mafunso Olangiza Usanakwatire Pano kutengera kafukufuku wam'mbuyomu. Zimagwira ntchito pakukulitsa ubale wabwino pokuthandizani kukhala wachifundo kwambiri mu ubale wanu ndikukupatsani maluso othana ndi mavuto omwe angakuthandizeni kumanga ubale wolimba.
2. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT ndi chithandizo chanthawi yochepa chomwe chimathandiza kupanga njira zatsopano zoyankhulirana zogwira mtima komanso zabwino pamene okwatirana ayambana. EFT imayang'ana kwambiri pakuwongolera kulumikizana ndikuthandizira kuthetsa mikangano.
3. Psychodynamic Ukwati Uphungu
Psychodynamic maanja therapy imayang'ana zomwe zimayambitsa poganizira zakale. Ochiritsa atha kupereka chithandizo chamunthu payekha m'malo mophatikizana. Apa, mafunso opereka uphungu asanalowe m'banja amayang'ana pakumvetsetsa mantha osazindikira kudzera mumayendedwe, kapena masewero.
Kodi Ubwino Wauphungu Usanakwatire Ndi Chiyani?
Ubwino umodzi waukulu wa uphungu wa anthu osakwatirana ndi woti umathandizira okondedwa awo kufotokoza bwino nkhani zambiri m’njira yabwino. Pakhoza kukhala zokhumudwitsa zakale zomwe zingakule ngati zisiyidwa.
Kodi mwamuna wanu mosatetezeka cholumikizira kukukhumudwitsani? Kodi kupsinjika kwa ntchito kumasokoneza ubale wanu? Mafunso ngati amenewa angakhale maziko a makambitsirano oyenera kukhala nawo musanalowe m’banja. Mlangizi angakuthandizeni kuthetsa mkwiyo woopsawo musanadumphe.
Komabe simukudziwa ngati uphungu chisanadze ukwati ndi koyenera kwa inu? Nawa maubwino ena 12 a upangiri wa maanja musanalowe m'banja zomwe muyenera kuziganizira musanayitane komaliza pankhaniyi.
1. Uphungu musanalowe m’banja umakuthandizani pa nkhani zofunika kwambiri
Kukhala ndi zoyembekeza zina kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu popanda kukambirana za izo kungayambitse mikangano m'banja. Monga nthawi yabwino yopezera ndalama m'nyumba, nthawi yobereka ana, komanso nthawi ziti. Zambiri mwa ziyembekezozi zitha kukhala zosokoneza ngati sizikufotokozedwa munthawi yake. Nkhani zimene zimafunika kukonzekera zingakambidwetu pasadakhale pulogalamu yopereka uphungu musanalowe m’banja.
2. Cholinga cha uphungu musanalowe mbanja - Kupititsa patsogolo luso lotha kuthetsa kusamvana
Anthu okwatirana akakhazikika m’chizoloŵezi cha moyo wa m’banja, mikangano yatsopano imayamba. Kaya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amangokhalira kusangalala kwambiri ndi Netflix kapena wogwira nawo ntchito wopanda vuto paphwando, nkhani zimabuka, ngakhale zing'onozing'ono kapena zazikulu bwanji, ndipo ziyenera kuthetsedwa. Mlangizi angapereke malangizo amene asanalowe m’banja amomwe mungachitire ndi mikhalidwe yosiyanasiyana pamene yabuka.
Ngati mikangano ikabuka, kukuwa, kutaya zinthu, kapena kulekana mwaukali si njira yoyenera kuthetsa mikangano. Thandizo pa intaneti musanalowe m'banja kapena zokambirana za inu nokha zimakuthandizani kuphunzira momwe mungathetsere kusamvana moyenera, kuthetsa nkhani zina ndi kukambirana modekha, ndi kuseka enawo.
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3. Mumaphunzira kuzolowerana ndi makhalidwe a wina ndi mzake
Kodi mnzanuyo amakhumudwa akamaganiza kuti, "Me likey", mkati mwa pulogalamu yophika yomwe mukuwonera? Kodi phokoso la kutafuna kwa mnzako limakuyendetsa pakhoma? Ngakhale maanja nthawi zambiri zimawavuta kufotokoza izi zazing'ono quirks ndi zizolowezi zokhumudwitsa kwa wina ndi mzake, iwo amasautsika ndi iwo.
Mukayenera kupirira tsiku ndi tsiku, zokhumudwitsa zowoneka ngati zazing'onozi zimatha kukhala zoyambitsa zazikulu. Mlangizi adzafotokoza zizolowezi zonse ndi makhalidwe omwe mungafune kusintha kuti agwirizane bwino m'banja lanu. Mlangizi adzakudziwitsaninso zinthu zonse zomwe zimakhala za inu nonse, kuti mukhale ndi chitonthozo chapamwamba wina ndi mzake. Kukhala ndi thanzi labwino mu gawo la chithandizo, ndi katswiri woti akuthandizeni, ndikwabwino kuposa kuphulika mopanda malire zaka zambiri pambuyo pake.
4. Mumazindikira madera omwe angayambitse mikangano
Zimakukonzekeretsani bwino za ndewu yamtsogolo ndipo imakuwonetsani momwe muyenera kulimbana nayo. Joanna, yemwe ndi wantchito wapakhomo wa ku Ohio, anatiuza kuti: “Mwamuna wanga ankafuna kuyang’ana m’malo amene anthu amakhalamo kaamba ka tsiku lathu lalikulu m’malo mwa madyerero kapena hotelo, zimene banja langa linkaganiza kuti n’loipa.” Kusiyana kumeneku kwa kaonedwe kathu kunapangitsa kuti tisamalankhulane. Uphungu usanalowe m'banja ungathandize kuzindikira mbali za mikangano zomwe sizimawonekera ukwati usanachitike. “
Pambuyo pa kutengamo mbali m’maprogramu ameneŵa, okwatirana ananena kapena anawonedwa kukhala okhoza kuthetsa mavuto a unansi mogwiritsira ntchito njira zolankhulirana zogwira mtima, ndipo pa avareji, anasimba milingo yapamwamba yaubwenzi,” akutero Jason S Carroll, pulofesa wa Bringham Young University wa ukwati, banja, ndi kakulidwe ka anthu, m’kufunsidwa.
5. Mumaphunzira kuvomereza mfundo zazikulu ndi kulemekeza kusiyana
Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati maloto anu mumzinda wina akutsutsana ndi kukwezedwa kwa mnzanu wina? Mukabweretsa mafunso ngati awa patsogolo, sizimathandiza mlangizi komanso inunso. Chithandizo cha anthu musanalowe m'banja nthawi zambiri chimagwiritsa ntchito mafunso a 'kuzindikiritsa zikhulupiriro zazikulu' zomwe zimakuthandizani kuzindikira kusiyana kwanu ndi malingaliro omasuka, moona mtima kotheratu, ndi malingaliro kuti muvomereze kusiyanako m'malo moyesera kutsutsa. Izi zimakuthandizani kuzindikira zinthu zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupanga zisankho zomwe zimalemekeza zomwe aliyense ali nazo.
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6. Mumaphunzira mmene mungachitire ndi ziyembekezo za m’banja
Aliyense ali ndi lingaliro la ukwati m'mutu mwake. Komabe, banja lanu silingayende bwino monga momwe mumayembekezera. Zimenezi zingachititse kuti tikhumudwe. Kukambitsirana za ziyembekezo zoterozo pasadakhale kumatsimikizira ukwati kukhala ndi maziko olimba. Kukhala pachibwenzi kumatanthauza kukambitsirana momasuka za ziyembekezo zanu m’banja. Komabe, si aliyense amene ali womasuka kufotokoza zomwe akufuna kapena amadziwa kuti ali ndi zosadziwika zomwe ayenera kugawana nazo. Izi ndi zomwe mapologalamu opereka uphungu asanalowe m’banja alipo.
7. Mumayamba kukambirana pazachuma
Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amakonda kugula zinthu zamtengo wapatali kamodzi pamwezi pamene mukugula zinthu nthawi imene mukuzifuna? Nanga bwanji za kugawana ndalama zapakhomo, kusunga, ndi kugulitsa katundu? Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe muyenera kudziwa za wokondedwa wanu musanalowe m'banja ndi momwe amaonera ndalama ndi kasamalidwe ka chuma, ndipo mosiyana.
Kusunga ndi kuwononga ndalama mutatha ukwati kungakhale kukambitsirana kovuta koma ziyenera kuthetsedwa bwino pakapita nthawi. Kupatula izi, alangizi amathanso kukulangizani momwe mungakonzekere bajeti ya mwezi uliwonse, yoyikidwa ngati "ndalama zosangalatsa" ndikusankha yemwe amalipira ngongole. Izi ndi zina mwazambiri zomwe zikuyenera kusanjidwa panthawi ya upangiri kuti zinthu zisawonekere zovuta pambuyo pabanja.
8. Mumakhala patsamba lomwelo za ana
Kodi mudzakhala ndi ana angati? Nyumba yodzaza kapena mukufuna kukhala ndi mwana mmodzi? Kapena mukufuna kukhala opanda ana? Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amavomereza? Funso la makolo likhoza kukhala losokoneza. Kodi pali nthawi yomwe mukufuna kungoyang'ana ntchito yanu, kusangalala, ndikuyenda musanakhazikike ndi ana?
Uphungu umenewu umakuthandizani kuti mukhale pa tsamba limodzi pankhani yobereka ana. Kodi iwo adzakhala okonzeka kutenga mwana? Kodi mwanayo akanasiyidwa kumalo osamalira ana, kapena kodi kholo limodzi likanatenga sabata kuti lilele mwanayo? Zitha kuwoneka ngati zosafunikira, koma izi ndi zina mwazofunikira kwambiri. Kukambirana kwa uphungu musanalowe m'banja kungathandize kufotokoza izi, kuti mudziwe zomwe mukuchita.
9. Mumaphunzira kukhazikitsa malire ndi mabanja
Mafunso ena omwe mungafunse okondedwa anu musanalowe m'banja ndi monga momwe amachitira pabanja komanso zachinsinsi. Ndi maphwando angati abanja omwe mungadutse popanda kukhala nkhani? Kodi achibale adzakhala ndi chonena pa moyo wanu waukwati? Kodi makolo angacheze kangati?
Awa akhoza kukhala mafunso ovuta kuwafunsa ndikuwayankha koma magawowa amakupatsirani malo otetezeka oti muzikambilana za mabanja a wina ndi mzake, ndi katswiri waluso kuti atsogolere zokambiranazo.
10. Mumaphunzira kupanga malo otetezeka a ubwenzi
Ubwenzi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pazochitika za ubale wa banja. Koma ngati okwatirana onse aŵiri sali pa tsamba limodzi ponena za zimenezo, zingadzetse kusakhutira, kusagwirizana, ndi kutalikirana m’banja.
Uphungu usanalowe m'banja udzakuphunzitsani za kutsegula ubwenzi ndi kukhala mogwirizana ndi zosowa za wina ndi mzake. Ngati pakufunika kutero, mutha kusankhanso kudzipereka kwa nthawi komwe kumakusangalatsani nonse ndikuwonanso makonzedwewo ndikusintha pamene mukukula ndikusintha.
11. Uphungu umathandizira kuthetsa zikhulupiriro zozikidwa pa chikhulupiliro ndi kusiyana maganizo
Ngati mmodzi wa inu ali wopembedza ndipo winayo sakhulupirira kuti kuli Mulungu, muyenera kuika malire pa nkhani zachipembedzo m’nyumba. Kodi kupita kuchikhulupiriro chanu kamodzi pamlungu n'kofunika kwa inu? Kodi atsogoleri azipembedzo azidzalamulira zinthu zofunika pamoyo? Ndiponso, ngati muli ndi ana, kodi ndi zikhulupiriro ziti zachipembedzo zimene angaleredwe nazo? Kodi m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo amayembekezera kuti apite ku Sande sukulu?
Uphungu wochepetsa mikangano yachipembedzo kaŵirikaŵiri umasumika pa mafunso oterowo. Ndi bwino kumasuka pa nkhani imeneyi kusiyana ndi kumakangana Lamlungu lililonse m’mawa. Komanso, zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo zosiyanasiyana ziyenera kukambidwa m'njira yomwe sizingawononge malingaliro a mnzanu ndikuyambitsa mikangano mtsogolo.
12. Mumadziwa moyo wa okondedwa wanu
Kodi ndi kangati mukadzalowa m'banja? Ngati wina sakufuna kupita, mnzakeyo angapite yekha kapena angayembekezere kusiya mapulani? Kodi mudzapeza bwanji malo apakati mwa kunyalanyaza pamisonkhano yoti mupiteko ndiponso yoti mudumphe? Pambuyo paukwati, mudzakhala mbali ya macheza a wina ndi mnzake. Alangizi omwe asanalowe m'banja amakuthandizani kuvomereza izi ndikukhala ndi dongosolo lothandizira kuthana ndi zibwenzi ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Uphungu usanalowe m'banja ndi mndandanda wa mapulogalamu omwe amafuna kuphunzitsa maanja kusinkhasinkha ndi kuphunzitsa maluso kuti alimbikitse ndi kuthandizira kukulitsa maubwenzi olimba ndi athanzi.
- Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zoperekera uphungu musanalowe m’banja, ngakhale kuti zonse zimadalira kulankhulana
- Uphungu usanakwatire umathandizira kuzindikira mikangano yomwe ingakhalepo komanso njira zothetsera mavutowo
Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja ndi wofunika kwa aliyense? Chabwino, ukwati si wophweka. Kotero ngakhale simukuganiza kuti mukuzifuna, ingoyesani. Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja n’ngopindulitsa? Ngakhale mungakaikire, phindu lake limaposa mtengo wa uphungu musanalowe m’banja. Mukhozanso kusankha kulandira uphungu musanalowe m’banja pa intaneti. Chithandizo cha pa intaneti chingakhale chothandizira kwambiri ngati simungathe kupeza nthawi pakati pa ntchito zonse zokonzekera ukwati. Mutha kusankhanso kupeza mabuku opangira uphungu musanalowe m'banja omwe akupezeka pa intaneti, koma kuti mudziwe bwino, kulowererapo kwa anthu ndikofunikira.
Ibibazo
Research Zimasonyeza kuti zikhoza kukhala chida chothandiza kuthetsa mavuto omwe angasinthe kukhala zopunthwitsa paulendo waukwati pambuyo pake. Kodi uphungu musanalowe m’banja umagwira ntchito? Statistics kuwulula kuti uphungu wa maanja musanalowe m’banja ukhoza kupititsa patsogolo chipambano chaukwati ndi 30%. Kufunika kopereka uphungu asanalowe m'banja kumatsimikiziridwa ndi mfundo yakuti 44% ya maanja masiku ano amakambilana zokambilana kapena uphungu kwa maanja omwe ali pachibwenzi asanayende mnjira, monga momwe izi zikunenera. phunziro.
Mtengo wapakati wapadziko lonse waupangiri wauphungu ku US uli pakati pa $125 ndi $175 pa gawo lililonse, malinga ndi WhatItCosts. Ndipo mudzafunika magawo angapo. Ku Bonobology, mutha kupeza chithandizo cha alangizi odziwa zambiri pamtengo woyambira $25 mpaka $50 pagawo lililonse. Mutha kusankha upangiri wachinkhoswe ngakhale simukuwona zovuta zilizonse muubwenzi wanu. Mapeto ake ndikusintha kuti mukhale omasulira abwino komanso gulu labwino ngati banja.
Inde, mutha kufunsira upangiri musanalowe m'banja pa intaneti. Ukwati ndi chomangira chopatulika, ndipo timachimvetsa ndi kuchiyamikira. Koma imafunikanso maziko olimba kuti ikule bwino. Othandizira mabanja athu ndi mabanja zilipo kuti mupereke upangiri ndi chithandizo cha pa intaneti kudzera pa WhatsApp, Hangouts, Zoom, kapena njira yolumikizirana yomwe mumakonda.
Zokambirana 5 Zoyenera Kukambirana Musanalowe M'banja Kuti Mupewe Mavuto M'tsogolo
Kodi Zimathandiza Kuyankhulana Zachuma Chogwirizana Musanakwatirane?
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
