Kodi Banja Lanu Likukulimbikitsani Kuti Mukwatire?

Popeza ndinakumana ndi mwamuna wanga nthawi yomweyo ndili ku sukulu ya sekondale ndipo ndinakwatiwa ndili ndi zaka 23, ndinadzipeza kuti sindikukumana ndi vuto lalikulu lomwe atsikana achichepere ku India amakumana nalo tsiku lililonse lomwe ndi kunyozedwa ndi banja kuti akwatiwe. Ndimaona anzanga akuvutika tsiku lililonse ndipo nditachita mafunso ambiri ndi anzanga azaka zapakati pa 23 ndi 25, ndinapeza mawu ochepa omwe onse amakumana nawo nthawi zonse. Mawu awa amachokera makamaka kwa makolo. Agogo nthawi zambiri amalowa nawo ndipo pamakhala azakhali ndi amalume ambiri a banja lalikulu ku India. Ndipo makolo omwe amakakamiza kupeza wokwatirana naye ndi gawo lowonjezera la nkhaniyi.

Kodi Mwakhumudwa Ndi Mawu Awa Kuti Mukwatire?

Ngati mukuyandikira zaka 25 koma simunaganizebe zokwatira kapena kukwatiwa, konzekerani kumva mawu awa mukakhala maso, mukamagona, mukudya kapena mukupita kuntchito…

1. Ganizilani za abale aang’ono

Kodi tingakwatire bwanji mng'ono wanu ngati simunakwatirebe? Iwo akukuyembekezerani.

Ichi ndi chitsenderezo chachikale chomwe chimaperekedwa kwa mtsikana aliyense woposa zaka 25 yemwe sanatomedwe kapena kukwatiwa ndipo ali ndi mng'ono wake. Zopatsa bonasi ngati mng'onoyo ali kale ndi mwana m'maganizo ndipo "akudikirira" kuti apeze wina.

2. Mukukalamba

Wakalamba, posachedwapa palibe mnyamata wochokera m’banja labwino amene adzakufuna. Dziwe likucheperachepera.

Ukafika zaka 22 wowala komanso wamanyazi, anyamata onse akumsika wa Shaadi amakufuna ndipo ukakhala ndi zaka 28 (ndipo mulungu aletse 30!), anyamata amsinkhu wako adzafuna wazaka 22. Kapena izi ndi zomwe azakhali aku India amakhulupirira moona mtima.

Mwachiwonekere, rishtas ndi zaka ndizosiyana.

3. Agogo amafuna kukuwonani muli pabanja

Agogo okalamba amafuna kukuwonani mukukwatiwa asanamwalire! Izi ndizovuta. Ndizoipa makolo akamakukakamizani kuti mukwatire, koma choyipa kwambiri pamene agogo anu osalakwa, okoma, amakunyozani ndikukupanikizani ndi wotchi yanu chifukwa cha wotchi yanu. Ndizovuta kukhala ndi yankho ndiye!

4. Anzanu onse ali pabanja

Anzako onse ali pachibwenzi kapena ali pabanja, chifukwa chiyani mulibe?

Mukadzafika zaka 23, atsikana anu onse akuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu wina kapena akulonjezedwa ukwati kapena akulonjezedwa ukwati kapena akukwatiwa kale! N'zovuta kumva ngati ndinu nokha amene mwatsala, makamaka ndi kukakamizidwa komwe anthu aku India (makamaka makolo aku India, amatibweretsera).

5. Si bwino kukwatira mochedwa

Ngati mudikira mpaka mutakula kwambiri, maganizo anu amakhala olimba ndipo simungathe kusintha. Ndamva mawu oti 'mold' akubwera nthawi zambiri akamalankhula za akazi oyenerera osakwatiwa. Anyamata ndi amayi awo amafuna kuti athe kuumba akazi awo (kodi ndife dongo?) omwe amawaphunzitsa kuti 'agwirizane' m'nyumba. Safuna atsikana okhala ndi umunthu wamphamvu kapena mawu awoawo zomwe zingakhale zokhumudwitsa (ndipo moyenera!) kwa atsikana ambiri odziyimira pawokha, amakono, komanso odziyimira pawokha.

Zoona zake n'zakuti mtsikana aliyense wa ku India (komanso pafupifupi mwamuna aliyense) amene ndalankhula naye anakumanapo ndi vuto la ukwati komanso kuzunzidwa maganizo ali ndi zaka za m'ma 20 ndipo nthawi zina 30. Makolo amakhulupiriradi kuti kulera atsikana kuti akhale akazi abwino kudzakhala kopindulitsa kwa iwo mtsogolo. Ndi chaka cha 2020 ndipo atsikana ambiri ochokera m'magulu onse a anthu adzakakamizidwa kulowa mu ukwati wokonzedweratu, kapena kukakamizidwa kuti akwatiwe ndi chibwenzi chawo. Ngakhale ukwati ukuwoneka wosapeŵeka, zinthu zina za ukwati sizili choncho. Ndikofunikira kufunsa mafunso ena musanalowe m'banja (makamaka kukonzekera ) ndikupeza kumvetsetsa bwino kuti mukhale ndi moyo wosangalala muukwati.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubwino ndi Kuipa kwa Maukwati Ochedwa Kwa Akazi

Musanakakamizidwe kulowa m'banja ganizirani izi ...

Tsoka ilo, zoona zake n'zakuti ku India ukwati nthawi zambiri umatanthauzanso kukwatira banja osati mnyamata yekha. Chifukwa chake, pali zinthu zina zomwe atsikana ndi anyamata ayenera kuchita kuti ukwati ukhale wopambana. Nazi mfundo zina zomwe ndikukhulupirira kuti ndizofunikira kukambirana ndikukambirana musanakwatirane, makamaka atsikana omwe amakwatira m'banja lachikhalidwe la ku India:

• Ana: Kodi tikufuna ana? Ndi liti ndipo zingati? Kodi tikufuna kuwalera bwanji?
• Kugonana: Kodi timagwirizana pakugonana? Kodi tikukonzekera kugonana zingati? Zokonda ndi zomwe sakonda.
• Chipembedzo: Kodi ndife achipembedzo chotani?
• Nthawi ziwiri: Kodi tikufuna kukhala ndi nthawi yochuluka bwanji sabata/tsiku lililonse ngati banja?
• Mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kusuta ndi mowa: Kodi aliyense wa ife amamwa/amasuta? Zingati? Kodi maganizo athu ndi otani pa nkhani ya mankhwala osokoneza bongo?
• Ndalama: Kodi tizigwiritsa ntchito bwanji ndalama? Kodi, tonse timagwira ntchito? Kodi tidzakhala ndi bajeti, ngati ndi choncho, ndi chiyani ndipo tidzagawa bwanji?
• Apongozi: Kodi tidzapereka nthawi yochuluka bwanji kwa apongozi athu? Kodi ntchito zathu kwa iwo ndi ziti? Kodi timafuna kukhala nawo mpaka liti, ngati sitingathe?

Kulimbitsa moyo wa ntchito

• Moyo wapagulu: Kodi kucheza ndi anthu n’kofunika bwanji kwa aliyense wa ife? Kodi timakonzekera bwanji kukumana ndi anzathu?
• Ntchito: Kodi cholinga chathu chonse pa ntchito/maphunziro ndi chiyani?
• Zinthu zina zomwe mungakambirane: Ziweto, antchito, malipiro, kugula, kuyenda, nthawi yokha

Kukambilana zonsezi musanakwatire mnzako kumapangitsa moyo kukhala wosavuta osati kwa nonse nonse komanso kwa mabanja okhudzidwa. Mfundo zambiri zimawoneka ngati zazing'ono kapena zosafunikira koma zimatha kusokoneza ukwati pakapita nthawi. Kuzilingalira pasadakhale kudzathandiza kupsinjidwa kwa Shaadi ndipo motero Shaadi womalizayo kuganiziridwa bwino ndi kupindula! Choncho ngakhale makolo anu akukusokonezani m’banja, onetsetsani kuti mwadutsamo mfundo zimenezi musanapereke chivomerezo chomaliza.

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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