50 ndi Osakwatira: Momwe Mungayendere Gawo Lamoyo Ili

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kukhala 50 ndi osakwatiwa angamve ngati inu mwaima pamphambano: mbali imodzi, muli ndi dziko zotheka ndi nzeru zopezedwa movutikira; kumbali ina, mungamve kupweteka kwa kusungulumwa kuposa ndi kale lonse, kumene kumakulitsidwa ndi kulemerera kwa kukaikira za kupeza chikondi “pa msinkhu wanu.” Pumirani mozama- ndi bwino (ndi zachilendo) kukhala wosakwatiwa pa 50.

Ndipotu, anthu oposa theka la anthu aku America azaka zapakati pa 50 ndi 64 ndi osakwatira, ndipo ambiri mwa iwo akuchita bwino. Kaya mwasankha kukhala osakwatira kapena osakwatiwa chifukwa cha mavuto a moyo komanso kuganizira zoyamba chibwenzi, zomwe mukukumana nazo zingakhale zopindulitsa kwambiri ngati mukuzilandira bwino. Tiyeni tifufuze momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito bwino kukhala ndi zaka 50 osakwatira, komanso momwe mungayendere pachibwenzi ngati mukufuna munthu woti mukwatirane naye.

Malangizo 10 pa Kuyenda Kukhala 50 ndi Osakwatira

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Mukapeza kuti ndinu wosakwatiwa pa zaka 50, kufunikira kwa mnzanu kungaoneke ngati kofunika kwambiri kuposa kale lonse. Ngati ndinu wosakwatiwa chifukwa cha zinthu monga kusudzulana kapena kutaya mnzanu, mungadzimve kuti mwatayika pa moyo watsopanowu pa siteji iyi ya moyo. Ngakhale mutakhala osakwatiwa mwasankha moyo wanu wonse kapena chifukwa choti munapeza "yemweyo" ndipo munali ndi mtendere wamumtima, mungazindikire kuti zimenezo zikusintha pamene mukupita patsogolo pa zaka zanu zabwino. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa tsopano muli pa siteji ya moyo kumene mungayambe kuchotsa phazi lanu pantchito ndipo aliyense amene akuzungulirani ali wotanganidwa ndi miyoyo yawo.

Izi zitha kukupangitsani kukhala osungulumwa kwambiri ndikulakalaka bwenzi lomwe mutha kugawana naye moyo wanu. Ngakhale kukhala pachibwenzi ndi zaka 50 si cholinga chosatheka, mudzapeza kuti zomwe mukuchita zingathe kubweretsa zotsatira zabwino ngati simukuyandikira njirayi kuchokera kumalo osimidwa koma ndi chikhumbo chenicheni chofuna kupeza munthu amene amakwaniritsa moyo wanu m'malo mofunafuna bwenzi kuti mumve bwino. Kuti izi zitheke, tikubweretserani maupangiri 10 amomwe mungapangire chidaliro ngati simuli pabanja komanso 50 ndikuyenda gawo ili lamoyo:

1. Kumbukirani, palibe “shelufu ya moyo” pa chisangalalo

Choyamba, siyani kuganiza kuti kukhala wosakwatiwa uli ndi zaka 50 kumatanthauza kuti ndiwe wolephera. Anthu amadzipeza kuti ndi osakwatiwa ali ndi zaka zambiri—mwina munayang'ana kwambiri ntchito koma simunakwatirepo, mwina munasudzulana (simuli nokha pamenepo; chiwerengero cha anthu osudzulana azaka zopitirira 50 chawonjezeka kawiri kuyambira m'ma 1990), kapena mwina munataya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, kapena simunapeze munthu woyenera ndipo munakana kukhazikika. Kaya nkhani yanu ndi yotani, dziwani kuti moyo wanu ukhoza kukhala wodzaza, wosangalatsa, komanso wathunthu popanda mnzanu.

Monga momwe Amanda Krisher wa Bungwe la National Council on Aging akunenera, lingaliro lakuti “tikuphonya” ngati tilibe mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi lolakwika. Munthu wosakwatiwa wazaka 50 angakhale ndi “moyo wolemera wa mayanjano wodzazidwa ndi mabwenzi, banja, maulendo, ndi zokondweretsa, ndi kupeza kuti moyo wanu uli wangwiro mmene ulili.”⁠ M’mawu ena, ndinu wokwanira, monga momwe muliri.

Dzikumbutseni ubwino wa moyo wosakwatira : muli ndi ufulu wogwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu momwe mukufunira, kutsatira zilakolako zanu, kupanga zisankho mwadala, ndikusangalala ndi kukhala ndi anzanu. Mutha kukongoletsa malo anu okhala momwe mukufunira, kudya kapena kusadya chakudya chamadzulo nthawi yanu, ndikuwonera chilichonse chomwe mukufuna pa TV popanda kusokoneza! Izi sizinthu zazing'ono - ndi zabwino zenizeni zodziyimira pawokha. Anthu ambiri ogwirizana amasirira ufulu womwe anthu osakwatira ali nawo. Chifukwa chake, m'malo mowona kukhala wosakwatira ngati chopanda pake, ganizirani ngati gawo la mphamvu ndi kudzipeza nokha.

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2. Kuthana ndi kusalana

Ochepera zaka 50 nthawi zambiri amamva kuti akuweruzidwa chifukwa cha udindo wawo. Achibale anu, mabwenzi, kapena anzanu, mwa zolankhula ndi zochita zawo, angakupangitseni kumva ngati akunena kuti, “Chavuta n’chiyani kukhala mbeta? Zikatero, kumbukirani kuti kukhala pachibwenzi si chinthu chopambana mwa iko kokha, kukhala wosangalala ndiko.

Moyo si mpikisano woti muwone yemwe angakhalebe muubwenzi nthawi yayitali. Ndizokhudzana ndi zomwe mumakumana nazo komanso maubwenzi anu. Choncho musalole kusalidwa kwachikale m'mutu mwanu. Monga wosakwatiwa wazaka 50, ndinu m'gulu lalikulu la anthu omwe akumasuliranso tanthauzo la kukhala ndi chikondi pakati pa anthu.

3. Ganizirani zomwe mukufuna

Musanayambe chibwenzi kwa zaka zoposa 50 , imani kaye ndi kuganizira komwe mukufuna kuti moyo wanu upite kuchokera pano. Anthu opitilira 50 osakwatira amasankha kuti, "Ndili wokhutira kwambiri popanda mnzanga wachikondi." Ena amazindikira kuti akufuna kupezanso chikondi (kapena koyamba). Zosankha zonsezi ndi zomveka. Zingathandize kulemba m'buku kapena kulankhula ndi mnzanu wapamtima za momwe mukumvera. Ngati muli ndi vuto lililonse la maganizo lomwe likukuvutitsani chifukwa cha kusudzulana kapena kutayika, ganizirani kufunafuna njira yodzipatula—mwina kudzera mu chithandizo, magulu othandizira, kapena miyambo yanu—kuti zisakulepheretseni kusangalala ndi zomwe zikuchitika pano.

Kudzisamalira n’kofunika kwambiri. Pofika zaka 50, moyo wanu ungakhale udaphatikizapo kuyika ndalama zambiri pamoyo wa ena-ana, makolo okalamba, mwamuna kapena mkazi-kapena kuika zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zanu ndi zolinga zanu. Ino ndi nthawi yoti muziika patsogolo. Nchiyani chimakubweretserani kukwaniritsidwa? Zitha kukhala chilichonse kuyambira kupenta mpaka kuphunzitsa 5K, kukonzekera ulendo wamaloto, kapena kupanga pivot yantchito. Kuchita zinthu zomwe mumakonda sikumangopangitsa moyo wanu kukhala wosakwatiwa kukhala wolemera, komanso kumakulumikizani ndi anthu amalingaliro ofanana ndi anzanu atsopano kapena okondedwa, kutsegulira njira zatsopano zokumana ndi osakwatiwa azaka zopitilira 50 kapena azaka zilizonse, pankhani imeneyi.

Ngati mwasankha kuti mukufuna chibwenzi, khalani oona mtima ndi inu nokha pa zomwe mukufuna. Kodi mukuyembekeza kukwatiranso kapena kungochita chibwenzi mosasamala kuti muwone zomwe zidzachitike? Pafupifupi 60% ya anthu osakwatira azaka zopitilira 50 amati ali otseguka pachibwenzi kapena ali kale pachibwenzi, koma ambiri sakufuna chibwenzi. Zosankha zonsezi ndi zomveka. Mutha kupeza kuti nthawi zina, mukuyang'ana kwambiri, ndipo nthawi zina mukupuma. Kukongola kwa nthawiyi ndikuti mumasankha. Palibe nthawi yoti mutsatire kupatula yanu.

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4. Ubwenzi wabwino ungakhale chinsinsi cha thanzi ndi chimwemwe

Mawu akuti "Chabwino" ndi omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pano. Chifukwa chimodzi chomveka chomwe anthu ena osakwatira amasankha kukhala pachibwenzi ali ndi zaka 50 ndi ubwino wa thanzi ndi chimwemwe womwe umabwera chifukwa cha ubale wabwino . Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti chikondi chingathandize kuchepetsa nkhawa komanso kuthandiza anthu kukhala ndi moyo wautali. Maubwenzi ambiri - kaya achikondi kapena achikondi - amagwirizanitsidwa ndi thanzi labwino la maganizo ndi thupi.

Choncho ngati mumalakalaka munthu wapadera ameneyo, dziwani kuti sikungolakalaka chabe, koma n’kogwirizana ndi moyo wanu. Anthu amapangidwa kuti agwirizane. Izi zati, ubale wosayenera kapena wosokoneza ukhoza kukhala ndi zotsatira zosiyana, choncho ndi bwino kukhala osakwatiwa kusiyana ndi machesi oipa. Yesetsani kukhala ndi khalidwe labwino, osati kukhala ndi thupi lofunda pafupi ndi inu.

Komanso, pazaka 50, mwina mumadziwa bwino kuti ndinu ndani, zomwe zingapangitse maubwenzi abwino. Ambiri osakwatiwa omwe amapeza chikondi pambuyo pake amati maubwenzi awo ndi amphamvu komanso ofanana chifukwa munthu aliyense ali ndi chidziwitso chokhazikika komanso chidziwitso cha moyo kuti abweretse patebulo. Pakhoza kukhala masewera ocheperako komanso masewera amalingaliro, omwe angatsegule njira ya mgwirizano weniweni.

5. Lowetsani zala zanu pachibwenzi (ngati mwakonzeka)

momwe mungayambirenso chibwenzi pa 50 ndi osakwatiwa

Tinene kuti mwakonzeka kubwerera kunja uko. Kodi mumayamba bwanji? Zingakhale zochititsa mantha, makamaka ngati papita nthawi. Njira imodzi ndiyo kuyamba yaing’ono. Mwina funsani mnzanu kuti akukhazikitseni khofi wochepa kwambiri kapena nkhomaliro ndi mnzanu wina. Kapena pitani kuphwando komwe osakwatira amatha kusakanikirana, monga kulawa vinyo kapena kuvina kwapagulu. Kulowa kwina kosavuta ndi chibwenzi chapaintaneti - mutha kuyang'ana ndikucheza kuchokera panyumba yabwino kuti mumangenso "minofu yanu yokopana."

Pali mapulogalamu osavuta kugwiritsa ntchito makamaka a anthu azaka zopitilira 50, monga OurTime ndi SeniorMatch , komwe mudzadziwa kuti aliyense ali pamlingo wofanana ndi wa moyo wawo. Kulembetsa pachibwenzi pa intaneti chazaka zopitilira 50 kungakhale kosangalatsa—kulemba mbiri yanu, kusankha zithunzi, kuganizira zomwe mukufuna, ndipo potsiriza, kuyang'ana mabwenzi omwe angakhalepo ndikupanga maubwenzi atsopano. Musadandaule za "ndani adzandifuna ine?" Mungadabwe kuti ndi anthu angati azaka za m'ma 50, 60, ndi kupitirira apo omwe akufunafuna anzawo. Malinga ndi Pew Research , 17% ya aku America azaka zopitilira 50 agwiritsa ntchito tsamba la chibwenzi kapena pulogalamu.

Ngati mupita panjira yapaintaneti, malangizo angapo amomwe mungayambirenso kukhala pachibwenzi muzaka 50 osakwatiwa:

Gwiritsani ntchito zithunzi zaposachedwa zosonyeza umunthu wanu—mukuseka ndi anzanu, kapena mukuchita zinthu zimene mumakonda, kuwonjezera pa kujambula m’mutu momveka bwino.
Lembani mbiri ya chibwenzi izo zikumveka ngati inu—khalani oona mtima ndi osangalala
Mukayamba kuyanjana, musataye mtima ngati simupeza woti agwirizane nawo nthawi yomweyo. Anthu ena amakhala ndi mwayi mwachangu, ena amatenga miyezi kapena kupitilira kuti apeze wina wogwirizana
Pitani pa liwiro lanu. Mwina sakatulani mbiri zingapo madzulo aliwonse kapena kutumiza uthenga apa ndi apo. Mukaona kuti zachuluka kapena sizikusangalatsani, pumani. Cholinga chake ndikuchipangitsa kuti chikhale chosangalatsa, osati kutembenuza zibwenzi zanu kukhala ntchito yachiwiri

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6. Gwiritsani ntchito maukonde anu kuti mukhale ndi munthu wina

Osamangodalira zibwenzi zapaintaneti zazaka zopitilira 50. Tembenukirani kwa anzanu, anzanu, achibale anu, kapenanso womenyetsa tsitsi, kuti akuthandizeni ndikuwafunsa kuti akuwonetseni kwa munthu yemwe akuganiza kuti mungadina naye. Simudziwa, mnansi wa mnzanu akhoza kukhala wina wazaka 55 yemwe angakonde kuwonera kanema ndi inu.

Kulumikizana ndi anthu akadali njira yapamwamba yomwe anthu amakumana ndi mabwenzi. Mutha kujowinanso magulu okonda osakwatiwa azaka zapakati. Matauni ena ali ndi makalabu ochezera kapena magulu amisonkhano a “osakwatiwa oposa 50” omwe amakonza chakudya chamadzulo, kukwera mapiri, kapena kokacheza. Ngati ndinu okonda kuyenda, mwina yesani gulu lapaulendo la apaulendo osakwatiwa. Dziyerekezeni muli paulendo wamagulu ku Italy kapena paulendo wapamadzi wa anthu osakwatiwa. Zoyipa kwambiri, mumawona malo atsopano; chabwino, mutha kudina ndi wina paulendo.

7. Kumbukirani, kukhala wosakwatiwa ndikwabwino kuposa kukhala paubwenzi woyipa

Monga tidanenera polankhula za ubale wabwino womwe ukukulitsa moyo wanu, ubale womwe muli nawo umakhudza moyo wanu kukhala wabwino kapena woyipa. Mukakhala ndi zibwenzi za azaka zopitilira 50, pakhoza kukhala nthawi yomwe mungamve kuti, "Eya, izi nzovuta, mwina ndingogwirizana ndi munthu amene ndimafanana naye m'malo momangoyang'ana kosatha." Musati muchite izo.

Inde, nthawi zina izi zimatha kutenga nthawi yayitali ndipo kusungulumwa kungapangitse kuti ziwoneke ngati zovuta kwambiri koma ubale wosasangalatsa ukhoza kukhala wosungulumwa kuposa kukhala wosakwatiwa. Ngati munakwatiranapo kapena kukwatirana kale, mwina mukumvetsa izi mozama. Mkazi wina wosudzulidwa anaganiza kuti atatha zaka zambiri akuyenda movutikira muukwati wake, kukhala wosakwatiwa kumamveka ngati mpweya wabwino. Pomaliza pake akhoza kukhala yekha popanda mikangano yokhazikika. Dzikumbutseni za ufulu umenewo ngati mutakayikira chifukwa chake mukufunira munthu woyenera.

8. Lemeretsani moyo wanu wosakwatiwa

Limodzi mwa malangizo ofunika kwambiri opezera chikondi mutatha zaka 50 komanso kukhala wosakwatiwa lomwe tili nalo kwa inu ndikukhala ndi moyo womwe umakupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso okhutira nokha. Mukakhala okhutira kwambiri, mudzakhala okongola kwambiri kwa ena - ndipo chofunika kwambiri, simudzamva ngati mukufuna wina woti akupatseni tanthauzo pa moyo wanu.

Ganizirani za mbali za moyo wanu zomwe mungafune kukulitsa. Kodi ndi mabwenzi? Mwina konzani phwando la chakudya chamadzulo pamwezi kapena masewera usiku ndi anzanu. Ndi ulendo? Lembani zidebe za malo omwe mungayendere kapena maluso atsopano oti muphunzire. Ndi kubwezera? Osakwatira ambiri amapeza cholinga ndi gulu podzipereka. Kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso kudzikuza nokha kumalimbikitsa aura yanu.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati nthawi zonse mumafuna kuvina ku ballroom koma wakale wanu amadana nazo, ganizirani chiyani - mwayi wanu ndi uwu! Lowani nawo kalasi yovina. Mutha kukumana ndi osakwatiwa kumeneko, kapena mutha kungopeza chisangalalo kuchokera kuvina; mulimonse, inu kupambana. Mukamaika moyo wanu pa zinthu zimene zimakusangalatsani, mumasonyeza kuti ndinu wokhutira. Ndipo ngati mungapite pa chibwenzi, mudzakhala ndi zokumana nazo zosangalatsa zoti mukambirane, zomwe zimakhala zosangalatsa kwambiri.

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9. Phunzirani kuthana ndi kusungulumwa popanda kusokoneza

Tiyeni tikhale enieni—ngakhale wosakwatiwa wodziimira yekha nthawi zina akhoza kusungulumwa, makamaka pamene anzanu ambiri agwirizana kapena pamene zochitika zina monga maholide, maukwati amabwera ndipo muyenera kudutsa nokha. Ndikofunikira kukhala ndi njira zanthawizo kuti muthe kuthana ndi kusungulumwa popanda kulola kusokoneza malingaliro anu.

Zingakhale zothandiza kukhala ndi abwenzi apamtima kapena achibale omwe mungathe kuwaimbira foni kapena kukhala nawo nthawi yomwe mukufuna kukhala nawo. Momwemonso, kukonzekera Loweruka ndi Lamlungu mwachangu pokonza chakudya ndi mnzanu kapena kanema wapawekha wokhala ndi makanema omwe mumakonda kungathandizenso kuthana ndi kusungulumwa. Ngati usiku ndi wovuta, mwina khalani ndi chizoloŵezi chamadzulo: buku labwino, kapu yotsitsimula ya tiyi, kusinkhasinkha kapena kulemba nkhani kuti mutsirize tsikulo molimbikitsa. Anthu ena amapeza kuti ziweto zimakhala mabwenzi abwino kwambiri - galu woti apereke moni pakhomo kapena mphaka woti azipiringa naye angapereke chitonthozo chenicheni komanso kugwirizana.

Kulowa m'magulu (pa intaneti kapena osagwiritsa ntchito intaneti) a anthu ena osakwatira opitirira zaka 50 kungakukumbutseninso kuti muli ndi anzanu abwino ndipo kungakupatseni malo oti mugawane ndikuseka za zabwino ndi zovuta za gawo lino la moyo. Ngati mukumva kuti kusungulumwa kwayamba kukhudza thanzi lanu la maganizo, musazengereze kupempha thandizo la akatswiri. Dokotala angakuthandizeni kusintha malingaliro oipa ndikulimbitsa luso lanu lothana ndi vutoli. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mukufuna thandizo, mutha kupeza upangiri waukadaulo wa BetterHelp muli kunyumba kwanu.

10. Pamene mphezi ikuwomba—kukhala okonzekera chikondi

Mutha kukhala moyo wanu wosakwatiwa wosangalatsa mukakumana ndi munthu mosayembekezereka. Zitha kukhala kudzera pa deti losawona, kukumana ndi mwayi, kapena machesi apa intaneti omwe amangodina. Mukakhala omasuka ndi 50 ndi moyo wosakwatiwa, mwayi waubwenzi ukhoza kukhala wosangalatsa komanso wowopsa. Anthu ambiri osakwatiwa oposa 50 amadandaula kuti, "Kodi ndine wokhazikika m'njira zanga? Kodi ndingasinthenso? Awa ndi mafunso achilengedwe. Tengani pang'onopang'ono ndikulankhulana momasuka.

Ngati mwazolowera kukhala panokha, kuphatikiza moyo wanu ndi wa munthu wina kungakhale kosintha, koma kungakhale kosangalatsa ndi munthu woyenera. Kumbukirani, woyembekezera bwenzi lanu ayenera kuti nayenso ali ndi moyo (ntchito, mwina ana kapena adzukulu, chizolowezi). Nonse mudzafunika kuyandikira miyoyo yolumikizana ndi kudekha komanso kumvetsetsa.

Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe zimachitika pakati pa okwatirana okalamba ndi dongosolo la Living Apart Together (LAT) - kukhala m'nyumba zosiyana kapena kusaphatikiza mabanja onse ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi chodzipereka. Iyi ndi njira yabwino ngati mukufuna malo anu odziyimira pawokha. Mwachitsanzo, aliyense akhoza kukhala ndi nyumba yake koma amatha kumapeto kwa sabata limodzi kapena kugona limodzi kangapo pa sabata. Izi zingathandize kuti ubale wanu ukhale wabwino komanso womasuka. Palibe njira yolondola yokonzera moyo wanu wachikondi ali ndi zaka zoposa 50. Chitani zomwe zimagwirira ntchito nonse awiri, ndipo musadandaule ngati zikuwoneka zosiyana ndi zachikhalidwe.

Komanso, musadabwe ngati mukumva kuti ndinu wachinyamata komanso wachinyamata pamene chibwenzi chikubwera. Kugwa m'chikondi kapena kuyamba kusweka pa 50 kungakupangitseni kumva 17 kachiwiri (inde, agulugufe akadali akuwuluka!). Sangalalani - iyi ndiye mbali yokoma ya chibwenzi kwa azaka zopitilira 50 zomwe zimapangitsa zovuta zonse kukhala zopindulitsa.

Malingaliro Omaliza-Mumatanthawuza Zomwe Kukhala 50 ndi Kusakwatira Kumatanthauza

Kukhala wazaka 50 komanso osakwatiwa sizomwe zimachitika komanso kukhalapo kwanu sikutsimikiziridwa kokha ndi kupambana kwanu pakupeza mnzanu. Ndi za kupanga moyo wa 50 womwe umamva kuti ndi woona komanso wokhutiritsa. Kwa ena, izi ziphatikiza nkhani yatsopano yachikondi; kwa ena, kungatanthauze kuvomereza umbeta monga mkhalidwe wachikhalire, wachimwemwe.

Ngati muli ndi zaka 50 ndipo simunakwatire: sangalalani ndi ufulu wanu, pangani moyo womwe mumakonda, ndipo ngati mukufuna chibwenzi, yankhani ngati ulendo watsopano, osati ntchito yochita kapena kufa. Zaka zakupatsirani mphatso yowonera-mumadziwa kuti dzuwa lidzatuluka mawa mosasamala kanthu za tsiku loipa kapena kusagwirizana kwa mameseji. Tsiku lililonse ndi mwayi wodzikonda nokha ndi ena, m'njira zambiri. Khalani okondana, khalani omasuka, ndipo mutha kupeza kuti kukhala 50 ndi osakwatiwa sikuli malire koma kumasulidwa. Ndipo ngati/tsiku likadzafika loti musinthe kuchoka ku “osakwatiwa” kupita ku “50” komanso kukhala paubwenzi,” mudzapititsa patsogolo nyonga ndi kudzidalira kuti kukhala wosakwatiwa m’zaka za m’ma 50 kunakuthandizani kupanga – mphamvu yomwe ingangowonjezera mutu wanu wotsatira.

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