Zizindikiro 15 Simudzapeza Chikondi Ndi Momwe Mungagonjetsere

"Pali kukakamizidwa kwakukulu ... pa momwe mnzanu wachikondi ayenera kukhalira. Ayenera kukhala bwenzi lanu lapamtima, ayenera kukhala wokondedwa wanu, ayenera kukhala wachibale wanu wapafupi, ayenera kukhala mnzanu wa kuntchito, ayenera kukhala kholo limodzi, mnzanu wamasewera. ... Inde, aliyense sangathe kukwaniritsa izi," akutero Jacqueline Olds , pulofesa wa Psychiatry ku Harvard University. Ngati mukuona kuti kufotokoza kumeneku kwa kufunafuna 'munthu' wamakono n'kogwirizana, simukulakwitsa kufunafuna zizindikiro zoti simudzapeza chikondi.

Chifukwa chiyani sindingapeze chikondi? chakhala kulira kofala kwambiri. Zimabweretsedwa ndi zinthu zosiyanasiyana, kuyambira pa chibwenzi chofulumira kupita ku chikhalidwe cholumikizirana, ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka zomwe zimapangidwa ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, ndi malingaliro olakwika a chikondi. Pamodzi ndi katswiri wamisala Dr. Rima Mukherji (MBBS, DPM, MRCPsych), woyambitsa-wotsogolera wa Crystal Minds, tiyeni tifufuze zifukwa izi mozama, kuyang'ana zizindikiro zomwe simungapeze chikondi, ndi kupeza njira zothetsera zopunthwitsa izi. 

N'chifukwa Chiyani Sindipeza Chikondi?

Ngati muli pafupi kusiya chikondi, kumbukirani kuti simuli nokha. Ngati titsatira maganizo a Dr. Mukherji , anthu omwe amavutika ndi mantha osapeza chikondi nthawi zambiri amawononga ubale wawo. Zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimayambitsa izi zikugwirizana ndi mavuto amisala. Anthu sadziwa bwino mayankho a mafunso awa: " Mukufuna chiyani muubwenzi? " Tiona zina mwazochitika zotere m'nkhani yonseyi. Koma choyamba, tiyeni tiwone zifukwa zina zingapo zotere:

• Ndinu waulesi kufunafuna chikondi: Simuchita khama lokwanira kuti muyang'ane 'amene'
• Mukuyembekezera ungwiro mwa mnzanu: Muli ndi miyezo yomwe ndi yovuta kuikwaniritsa
• Mukuyang'ana malo olakwika: Mumakhala m'tauni yaing'ono ndikuchezera malo omwera mowa ndi ma cafe omwewo. Kapena mumakhala mumzinda wotanganidwa koma osapita kumalo atsopano ndikumamatira kudera lanu. Kapena mukungopanga zibwenzi zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi zosowa zanu
• Simungathe kugonjetsa wakale wanu: Inu mukadali pa wakale wanu ndipo mukuwafuna iwo aliyense amene mumakumana naye
• Mukuyesetsa kwambiri ndikutaya dzina lanu: Mumataya chizindikiritso chanu ndi ulemu wanu poyesa kukondweretsa mnzanu yemwe mungakhale naye, potsirizira pake kuwapangitsa kutaya chidwi

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chikondi Chimatenga Nthawi Yokulirapo

Kodi Aliyense Amapeza Chikondi Pambuyo pake?

Kafukufuku wa PEW Research wapeza kuti munthu mmodzi mwa akuluakulu anayi ku US akhoza kukhala wosakwatira moyo wake wonse. Kafukufuku wina ndi omwe adayankha kuchokera ku Greece ndi China adawonetsa kuti pafupifupi theka la anthu omwe adachita nawo kafukufukuyu adakumana ndi mavuto m'chikondi ndipo adakhalabe osakwatira kwa nthawi yayitali. Ndiye funso likadalipo, kodi aliyense amapeza chikondi pamapeto pake kapena chikondi chenicheni chimapezeka m'ma romcom?

Dr. Mukherji anati: “Masiku ano, anthu sangapeze chikondi chachikondi kwenikweni. Zili choncho chifukwa chakuti anthu ambiri a m’badwo uno amakhala ndi ziyembekezo zazikulu kwambiri kwa okwatirana, kusonyeza makhalidwe okhwima (monga kusafuna kusintha), kapena kukhala ndi makhalidwe ena amene amakopa maubwenzi amene sakhalitsa.

Zizindikiro 15 Simudzapeza Chikondi Ndi Momwe Mungagonjetsere

Tisanapite ku zizindikiro simudzapeza chikondi, tiyeni tione nkhani yomwe Dr. Mukherji anagwira ngati dokotala. Mmodzi wa makasitomala ake, Rita (dzina losinthidwa kuti ateteze kudziwika), mkazi wophunzitsidwa bwino wogwira ntchito wazaka zake za m'ma 30, anabwera kwa iye pamene sakanatha kuvomereza mfundo yakuti amuna amamukanabe. Anali ndi mantha osalekeza osapeza chikondi.

Dokotala Mukherji akufotokoza kuti, “Rita ankaoneka kuti akufunitsitsa kukwatiwa. Anali ndi zibwenzi zambiri, koma nthawi yomweyo atanena kuti akufuna kudziwitsa makolo ake za chibwenzi chake, ankamunyoza kapena kumusiya mwaulemu. Kenako anakhala chibwenzi chomukonda kwambiri . Ankasowanso tulo poganizira ngati anali pachibwenzi ndi akazi ena.

“Pambuyo pa zochitika zambiri zoterozo zofunafuna chikondi, chifukwa cha kuthedwa nzeru, Rita, yemwe sanali wodzidalira ponena za kulemera kwake ndi maonekedwe ake, anachitidwa opaleshoni yochotsa mafuta m’thupi ndi njira zambiri zodzikongoletsa kuti alimbitse khungu lake, zonsezo n’chiyembekezo chopeza ‘wamene’yo.

“Nditalandira chithandizo chamankhwala ndi ine kambirimbiri, tsopano wayamba kuvomera kukanidwa.” Ayi, sanapezebe chikondi, koma tsopano sali wosoŵa kwambiri ndipo waphunzira kusamakanidwa m’chikondi. Ulendo wa Rita ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha mmene kusadzidalira kwathu, zolingalira zathu, ndi machitidwe athu kaŵirikaŵiri zimalepheretsa mwayi wathu wopeza chikondi. Poganizira izi, tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro 15 zomwe simudzapeza chikondi ndi njira zothana nazo: 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chikondi Mu Nthawi Ya Chikhalidwe Chogonana

1. Ndiwe wotsutsa kwambiri

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadzipeza mukuganiza kuti, “Chifukwa chiyani sindingapeze chikondi?”, mwina, kungakhale bwino kuwunika ngati mumawakakamiza anthu kuti azichita zinthu zapamwamba kwambiri ndipo mukuvutika kusintha zofooka za ena. Dr. Mukherji akuti, “Masiku ano anthu akufunafuna ungwiro m'mbali iliyonse. Sangavomereze zolakwika ndipo amafulumira kuzitcha kuti ndi chibwenzi cha anthu osayenera .”

Mwachitsanzo, mnzanga Natalie anali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna kwa miyezi ingapo. Mnyamatayo adatha kuzimitsa foni yake tsiku lina, ndipo izi zidapangitsa Natalie kuchita mantha ndi vuto linalake. Pofika kumapeto kwa tsikulo, anali wachisoni komanso akulira. Anamutumizira mameseji angapo akulira ndikumupempha kuti alumikizane naye akangoperekedwa. 

Tsiku lotsatira chibwenzi chake chinamuimbira foni n’kumufotokozera kuti anali paulendo ndipo anali kudera linalake lopanda netiweki. Komabe, Natalie anamaliza kumenyana naye kwambiri, ndipo zinakhudza kwambiri ubale wawo. Kupatuka kulikonse pamlingo woyembekezeredwa wa kulumikizana kungayambitse mkangano. Kukangana kosalekeza ndi ndewu zinapangitsa kuti asiyane. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Tiyeni tiwone njira zingapo zomwe mungawonetsere khalidweli:

• Khalani owona mtima: Musanayambe kupeza chikondi, mvetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo akhoza kukhala ndi zophophonya
• Kwezani kudzidziwitsa nokha: Dziŵaninso zolakwa zanu, ndipo phunzirani kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zenizeni

2. Ndiwe wolandira

Kawirikawiri, anthu amakhala 'olandira' muubwenzi ndipo amafunafuna 'opereka'. Ndipo ngakhale kuti okondedwa awo amapereka zambiri muubwenzi , olandirawo pamapeto pake amawataya. Mndandanda wawo wa zomwe amafuna kwa mnzawo sumatha. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit yemwe anali ndi chizolowezi chofananacho pofunafuna chikondi analemba kuti, "Chibwenzi changa cha zaka zitatu ndi wopereka nthawi zonse. Amandichitira zinthu nthawi zonse kaya ndikupempha kapena sindikupempha. Nthawi zonse amandisamalira kaya mwakuthupi, m'maganizo, kapena m'zachuma. Posachedwapa tinakambirana ndipo tinapeza kuti ndine wolandira ndipo iye ndi wopereka.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kukonda Kapena Kukondedwa? Kukonda Munthu Ndikosangalatsa Kwambiri…

Zayamba kubweretsa mavuto ndipo ndikufunika malangizo amomwe ndingamubwezere osatenga zambiri. Ndinakulira m'banja la "tenga zomwe ungapeze". Choncho, ndichibadwa changa kutenga koma osapereka.”

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mukuganiza kuti ndinu 'otenga' muubwenzi, yesani malangizo awa kuti muchepetse nyonga mu maubwenzi anu:

• Lekani kudzikonda: Mu maubale, kupereka ndi kutenga sikungakhale 50-50, koma muyenera kupereka nthawi zina kuti muthe kulandira chilichonse chomwe chikuperekedwa kuchokera kumbali ina popanda kuwoneka ngati mukugwiritsa ntchito.
• Pitani mukalandire chithandizo: Anthu ambiri sadziwa udindo wawo mu maubwenzi. Ayenera kuwerenga zambiri za momwe angakhalire zibwenzi zabwino ndikusankha chithandizo chothana ndi vutoli

3. Ndiwe wokakamira

Monga momwe Rita adatchulidwira pamwambapa, mwina mumakonda kumamatira kwambiri ndikukankhira mnzanu kapena chiyembekezo chachikondi kutali. Dr. Mukherji anati: “Ngati muyamba kukhala woumirira mopambanitsa, osalemekeza malire a mnzanuyo, ndiye kuti tsiku lina adzakutayani.” Nazi zina mwa zizindikiro zotere zomwe simudzapeza chikondi:

• Mumawaimbira foni nthawi zonse, kuwatumizira mameseji, kapena DM-kuwatumizira pamasamba ochezera kuti muzitha kulumikizana tsiku lonse
• Ndinu osowa kwambiri ndipo nthawi zonse mumawafuna kuti akufufuzeni ndikukuchitirani zinthu kuti atsimikizire kukhalapo kwanu

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati simungathe kusiya kukhala wotopa komanso kumamatira ndi mnzanu, yesani malangizo awa:

• Zindikirani kuti ndinu athunthu nokha: Kanizani kufunikira kotsimikizika kosalekeza ndi mnzanu. Dziwani kuti wina sangakumalizeni kapena kupanga tsiku lanu, ndikusiya kufunafuna chidwi chawo
• Amvereni chisoni ndi kuwapatsa mpata: Zindikirani kuti chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo sakuyimbirani foni, sakukunyengani. Onetsani zina chifundo mu chiyanjano ndikudziyika nokha m'mawonetsero awo. Mwina anali ndi tsiku lotanganidwa ndipo sanathe kukuyimbirani foni

4. Mumakayikira kwambiri

Rita ankatha masiku ake akuda nkhawa ndi komwe mnzawo ali, ngakhale atasiya kugwirizana naye. Kodi inunso mumakonda kuganiza kuti ndinu oipa kwambiri mwa anthu? Mwachitsanzo, ngati mulumikizana ndi munthu pa pulogalamu yopezera chibwenzi, kodi mumayamba kuganizira za anthu angati omwe munthuyu akulankhula nawo/kucheza nawo? Kapena ngati muyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu wina, kodi mumaganiza kuti akukunyengani ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito nthawi iliyonse akamagwira ntchito mochedwa? Kodi ubale wanu unasokonekera kale chifukwa cha chibadwa chanu chokayikira? Izi ndi zizindikiro za ubale woopsa womwe ungakankhire anthu kutali.

Dr. Mukherji akufotokoza kuti: “Kungoyang’ana mayendedwe nthawi zonse, kusunga ma tabu, kutumizirana mameseji, ndi kuzembera pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mukukayikira mopambanitsa.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Nkhani Zokhudza Kudalirana - Zizindikiro 10 Zomwe Zimakuvutani Kukhulupirira Aliyense

Zoyenera kuchita

Kukayikitsa mopambanitsa kumatha kuwononganso thanzi lanu lamalingaliro. Yesani ndi kuthetsa vutoli potengera njira izi:

• Pangani chikhulupiriro: Kukhulupirira ndiye mzati wa ubale uliwonse. Kambiranani zinthu ndipo yesetsani kuti muyambe kukhulupirirana
• Yankhani zowawa zakale: Onani fayilo yanu ya ubale wakale kupwetekedwa mtima (zochitika zachinyengo, ndi zina zotero) zomwe zingakupangitseni kuti muzichita izi ndikugwira ntchito mopanda chitetezo chanu.
• Khalani otanganidwa ndi ntchito yanu: Khalani ndi moyo wanu komanso khalani otanganidwa kuti musakhale ndi nthawi yokayikira zosafunika

5. Mumawopseza kapena kumadzivulaza 

Ichi ndiye chizindikiro chowopsa kwambiri mwa zizindikiro zonse zomwe simudzapeza chikondi. Dr. Mukherji anafotokoza kuti: “Kutumizirana mameseji kapena kuopseza kuti udzivulaza kapena kudzipha kungakhale njira yoipa kwambiri. Zikatere, umafika pochititsa munthu mantha. Kuyesa kuwachititsa kudziona kuti ndi wolakwa chifukwa chosamvera zimene ukufuna sikungathandize. Iwo angapitirizebe kwa kanthawi chifukwa cha mantha koma adzakusiyani.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati munayesapo kupeza njira yanu powopseza kapena kunyoza munthu wina, muyenera kudziyesa nokha poyesa malangizo awa:

• Dziwani zomwe mukufuna kuti mutsimikizire: Dziwani kuti mungakhale ndi kusatetezeka kozama komwe kumayambitsa izi funa kutsimikizira. Izi mwina zikukutsogolereni kuti mutengepo gawo lalikulu lopeza 'chikondi' mwa mbedza kapena mbeta
• Kulitsani chifundo kwa mnzanu: Zindikirani kuti wokondedwa wanu akhoza kukakamizidwa kukhala nanu. Ndipo ndani angafune kukhalabe pachibwenzi chifukwa cha mantha kapena kukakamizidwa?
• Dziwani kuti simungathe kukakamiza chikondi: Zimatengera awiri ku tango. Chifukwa chake, simudzapeza chikondi ngati mukakamiza wina kukhala nanu ndikuwopseza
• Pezani thandizo: Kufunafuna thandizo laukadaulo kuchokera kwa mlangizi kapena katswiri wazaumoyo kuti mumvetsetse komwe zikhalidwe izi zimachokera komanso momwe mungathanirane nazo mwaumoyo 

Kuwunika pafupipafupi mayendedwe, kuyang'anira ma tabu, kutumizirana mameseji, komanso kutsata pazama TV ndizizindikiro kuti mukukayikira kwambiri. 

– Dr. Mukherji

6. Mutha kuopa kudzipereka

Kuopa kwanu kudzipereka kungakhale kukulepheretsani kupeza chikondi. Dr. Mukherji akufotokoza kuti: “Mukapeza kuti muli pachibwenzi mobwerezabwereza ndi anthu amene amanyansidwa kudzipereka, chimenecho chingakhale chizindikiro chakuti mumanyanyira kudzipereka kotero kuti mukukopeka ndi anthu oterowo.” 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 za Mavuto Okhudzana ndi Kudzipereka Ndi Njira 5 Zothanirana Nazo

Zoyenera kuchita

Kodi mukuganiza kuti inuyo ndinu odzipereka? Chabwino, tiyeni tiwone momwe mungatsimikizire izi:

• Dzifunseni mafunso: Ganizirani ngati mukufuna ubale weniweni ndi kudzipereka. Chilichonse chopindulitsa chimafuna ntchito yambiri. Dzifunseni ngati ndinu wokonzeka kugwira ntchito imeneyo
• Sankhani chithandizo: Ngati mukuwona kuti muli ndi vuto ndi kudzipereka, musazengereze kusankha chithandizo chamunthu payekha

7. Ndiwe wodzikonda kwambiri

Chizindikiro chimodzi chachikulu chosonyeza kuti simudzapeza chikondi ndi chakuti ndinu wodzikonda kwambiri. Dr. Mukherji anatchula zitsanzo zotsatirazi za anthu amene amangofuna chibwenzi kapena pamene ali pachibwenzi:

• Mukufuna kukhala malo okopa pazochitika zonse zomwe mumapitako ndi bae wanu
• Mumafunikira kusamalidwa nthawi zonse
• Simungathe kuthana ndi zokhumudwitsa muubwenzi ndikuchitapo kanthu popanda kudikirira kufotokozera kwa mnzanu.
• Mumaona kuti ndinu oyenera kulira kapena kupsa mtima

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngakhale kudzikonda kuli bwino, kudzikonda kwambiri sikupatsa mpata ubale wabwino . Pankhaniyi, muyenera kutsatira njira izi:

• Zindikirani kuti chibwenzi sichimangotengera zomwe mukupezamo: Kuti mupeze chikondi chomwe muyenera kuperekanso chikondi. Dziwani kuti chibwenzi chimafuna kuti onse awiri azimva kuti ndi apadera
• Phindu ndi mvula yachikondi pa zomwe mumakonda: Sonyezani chikondi chimene mukufuna kulandira. Perekani chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro kwa winayo, chifukwa aliyense amafuna kumva kuti ndi wofunika mu ubale

8. Mukuyang'ana kwambiri zinthu zachiphamaso 

Mungathe kuphonya chikondi ngati mumapeputsa zinthu zofunika kwambiri ndi kumangoganizira zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni monga maonekedwe ndi zinthu zakuthupi. Dr. Mukherji anafotokoza kuti: “Kukongola kapena ndalama zokha sizingapangitse mnzanuyo kukhalabe pokhapokha ngati muli ndi chinthu china chofunika kwambiri chomupatsa. Mwachitsanzo, Rita ankangoganizira za kukongola kwake kwakunja n’kuiwala kuti kusadzidalira kwake ndiponso kufuna kupeza munthu woti akwatirane naye kunali koonekera kwambiri moti zinachititsa kuti anzakewo apite kutali.

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Zoyenera kuchita

M'malo mongoyang'ana pa zinthu zofowoka, mutha kuyesa malangizo awa:

• Yesetsani kusatetezeka kwanu: Ngati cholinga chanu chonse chili pa zinthu zachiphamaso, ndiye kuti mulibe kanthu mwa inu nokha. Dziwani zopanda pakezo ndikuzikonza, apo ayi, mutha kulowamo maubwenzi apamwamba
• Khalani omasuka ndi inu nokha: Kaya ndinu wamtali, wamfupi, wakuda, wachilungamo, wophunzira kwambiri, kapena ayi, kumbukirani, m’chikondi chenicheni, zinthu zoterozo ziri zachiŵiri. Dzivomerezeni nokha momwe muliri

9. Simukudzikuza nokha

Monga anthu, tiyenera kusintha nthawi zonse ndikuphunzira zinthu zatsopano. Ndicho chimene chimatipangitsa kukhala okhwima mu momwe timachitira ndi mavuto muubwenzi ndi m'moyo. Dr. Mukherji akuti, "Mukapanda kusintha monga munthu, mumayembekezera kuti munthu wina akwaniritse zosowa zanu zonse. Izi zitha kuyambira ubwana wanu, komwe mwina munali ndi kholo limodzi lomwe linkakwaniritsa zosowa zanu zonse ndikulepheretsa kukula kwanu monga munthu payekha."

Zikatero, umakula ndi kudalira maubwenzi achikondi. Chifukwa chake, mutha kuyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo akhale munthu yemwe amakwaniritsa zosowa zanu zonse, osachita zambiri.

Zoyenera kuchita

Kuti mukule ndi kusinthika, muyenera kuganiza mopitilira mnzanuyo. Mutha kuchita izi potsatira malangizo awa:

• Pangani gulu lomwe anthu amathandizana: Lowani nawo kalabu kapena pangani gulu la anzanu komwe mumalimbikitsa anthu ndikukulimbikitsaninso. Izi zikuthandizani kuti mukule ndikudalira okondedwa anu
• Pezani magwero ena amphamvu muzochita zanu zatsiku ndi tsiku: Mwachitsanzo, mutha kukulitsa kulumikizana ndi anzanu ogwira nawo ntchito omwe amakuthandizani kukulitsa luso ndikukula ngati munthu

10. Muli ndi anzanu angapo ngati zosunga zobwezeretsera

Dr. Mukherji akufotokoza kuti: "Anthu ambiri masiku ano ali ndi zibwenzi zingapo, ndipo izi zimasokoneza luso la anthu kuti adzipereke ku chiyanjano. Palibe ubale, palibe munthu yemwe ali wangwiro. Pamene nthawi zonse muli ndi zosankha, zimakhala zovuta m'maganizo mwanu, ndipo mukangoyamba kukumana ndi vuto, mumakopeka ndi munthu wotsatira pamndandandawo m'malo mokhala ndikuyesera kukonza zinthu." 

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Mnzanga wa kuntchito, Melanie, anali ndi abwenzi ambiri achimuna ndipo nthawi iliyonse akakangana ndi chibwenzi chake, ankayamba kucheza nawo kuti adzichepetse nkhawa ndikupeza njira zothetsera mavuto. Izi zinapangitsa kuti chibwenzi chake chisamukire. Ndipo sindinadabwe, chifukwa khalidweli ndi chizindikiro cha chinyengo chomwe, ngati sichinayang'aniridwe msanga, chingayambitse kusweka kwa ubale uliwonse.

Zoyenera kuchita

Sichinthu chabwino kukhala ndi matani a anthu ngati zosankha zosunga zobwezeretsera, chifukwa zitha kungosokoneza ubale wanu. Yesani malangizo awa kuti muyang'ane pa bwenzi lanu lomwe mungakhale nalo komanso kuti mudziteteze kuti musaulule zambiri kwa ena:

• Dikirani kuti mnzanuyo azizizira: Anthu ayenera kupereka nthawi ndi malo okwanira kwa okondedwa awo pambuyo pa mkangano ndipo osauza munthu wina zakukhosi nthawi yomweyo
• Phunzirani kupanga malire: Mofanana ndi maubwenzi, munthu ayeneranso kupanga malire mu maubwenzi. Ngati simusiyanitsa bwenzi/bwenzi lanu ndi anzanu ena, musadabwe ngati mutadzipeza kuti mulibe bwenzi mwadzidzidzi.

11. Mumalamulira kwambiri

Njira ina yomwe mungathamangitsire okwatirana nawo ndiyo kuyesa kulamulira moyo wa munthu wina m'mbali zonse. Dr. Mukherji anati: “Kungoti muli pachibwenzi, sikukupatsani ufulu wolamulira moyo wa mnzanuyo.

Zimenezi zimandikumbutsa za m’modzi mwa akazi amene ndinali nawo kale, amene ndinakhala naye pachibwenzi kwa zaka zingapo ndipo anali wolamulira kwambiri. Sanangondipempha kuti ndisamayanjane ndi anzanga ambiri achimuna pamasamba ochezera, komanso amandiimbira foni nthawi zachilendo kuti ndiwone yemwe ndinali naye. Izi zinandivuta kwambiri ndipo pamapeto pake ndinamusiya.

Anthu ambiri masiku ano ali ndi zibwenzi zingapo ndipo izi zimasokoneza luso la anthu kuti adzipereke ndikuyika ndalama mu ubale.

– Dr. Mukherji

Zoyenera kuchita

Nayi zomwe mungachite m'malo mochita nsanje ndi kulamulira mnzanu amene mukufuna kukhala naye komanso kukhala ndi maganizo anu nthawi zonse:

• Lekani kuchita zinthu mopanda mantha: Nthawi zonse mukafuna kulamulira zochita za mnzanu, musiye pomwepo
• Pangani malamulo a ubale ogwirizana ndi onse awiri: Ngati mukuona kuti m’pofunika kumulamulira mnzanu, onetsetsani kuti mwamupatsa ufulu wolamulira inunso. Mukatero, mudzazindikira momwe amamvera mukawalamulira

12. Umakhala wachiwawa ukakwiya

Chiwawa sichingathe kuthetsa mkangano uliwonse ndipo chimangowonjezera kusiyana pakati pa anthu awiri. Tangoganizirani kunyozedwa, kukwapulidwa, kumenyedwa mbama, ndi kukankhidwa pa mkangano waung'ono. Chiwawa choterechi chingayambitse mavuto amisala kwa nthawi yayitali kwa munthu amene akukuvutitsani. Kodi mungafune kukhala ndi munthu amene amakuchitirani izi? Ayi, sichoncho? Ngati mukuchita chiwawa mukakwiya, zingafotokoze chifukwa chake mumavutika kupeza chikondi kapena kusunga ubale. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kuchepetsa mkwiyo ndikofunikira kwambiri muubwenzi.

Dr. Mukherji akufotokoza kuti: “Chiwawa chingachitike m’njira zosiyanasiyana ndipo nthaŵi zina sichingachitikire mnzanuyo. Mwachitsanzo, mungasonyeze mkwiyo wanu kwa anthu amene ali pafupi nanu (ngakhale anthu osadziwika, monga woperekera zakudya m’lesitilanti) kapena inuyo (podzivulaza mwakuthupi). Zikatero, mnzanuyo angasankhe kuleka ndipo adzakhala wolondola kutero, chifukwa chiwawa choterocho sichimangovulaza komanso chochititsa manyazi.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungasinthire Mkwiyo Wanu ndi Nsanje Yanu Kukhala Chilimbikitso

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadzipeza kuti mukuchita zinthu mwankhanza mukasemphana maganizo ndi wina kapena mutakwiya, yesani malangizo awa:

• Pezani chithandizo: Ngati muli ndi mkwiyo wosalamulirika, mutha kusankha kupita kuchipatala
• Pezani zoyambitsa: Mutha kuyesa ndikupeza zovuta zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala achiwawa

13. Muli ndi zizolowezi

Zokonda zanu zitha kukhala cholepheretsa kupeza chikondi. Tangoganizani kuti muli pachibwenzi ndipo nthawi zonse mumayang'ana foni yanu. Kupatula apo, muyenera kuyang'ana kuti ndi angati omwe 'amakonda' positi yanu yatsopano ya Instagram yalandira. Ndinu chizoloŵezi cha chikhalidwe TV, ndipo mulibe ngakhale kumvetsera zimene tsiku lanu akunena. Pamapeto pake mumazisiya. 

Kapena tinene, mumakumana ndi mnzanu yemwe mungakhale naye pa udzu. Simungatsegule maso. Izi ndizopanda ulemu kwambiri ndipo zitha kusokoneza maubwenzi ambiri achikondi omwe akubwera. Zosokoneza zina zomwe zingawononge moyo wanu wachikondi ndi:

• Mankhwala osokoneza bongo
• Kuledzera kwa mowa
• Zosokoneza bongo
• Chizoloŵezi chamasewera

Ndi chinyengo chofala kuti kupeza munthu yemwe mumamukonda komanso amene amakukondani kungakuthandizeninso kusiya zizolowezi zanu. Dr. Mukherji akufotokoza kuti: “Chikondi sichimathetsa zizoloŵezi zoipa, ndipo n’kupusa kuganiza kuti chikondi chidzathetsa kumwerekera. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Kodi ndinu munthu amene mukudwala zina mwa zizoloŵezi zomwe tazitchula pamwambapa? Chabwino, yesani malangizo awa kuti mudzilamulire:

• Dzifunseni kuti chofunika kwambiri ndi chiyani: Pangani chosankha. Ngati kuli kusankha pakati pa kumamatira ku zizolowezi zanu ndi kukhala nokha kwamuyaya, ndi iti yomwe ili yofunika kwambiri kwa inu? Mudzakhala ndi yankho
• Pezani thandizo: Kuledzera sikungowononga maubwenzi anu koma kumawononga moyo wanu wonse. Ndikofunikira kupeza chithandizo, mwina mwa njira yochepetsera chizolowezi kapena kudzera kuchira nsanja monga Alcoholics Anonymous (kapena matembenuzidwe ake ambiri omwe alipo lero, kutengera chizolowezi chomwe mukulimbana nacho) 

14. Mumayembekezera zomwe sizingatheke

Vuto lomwe ambiri a ife masiku ano timayembekezera zambiri kuchokera kwa okondedwa athu. Dr. Mukherji akufotokoza kuti, "Mndandanda wathu sutha ndipo nthawi zonse timafunafuna miyezo yapamwamba yomwe ngakhale ife sitingakwaniritse. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, ambiri a ife timakhala ndi ziyembekezo zosatheka muubwenzi wathu ." Kaya ndi luso la akatswiri, kukonda kwathu kukongola, kapena kutchuka pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, nthawi zonse timayesetsa kupeza okondedwa abwino kwambiri. Ndipo, nthawi zina, ndicho chimatilepheretsa kupeza chikondi.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kulemba Mzere Pakati pa Chikondi ndi Zachinsinsi Mu Ubwenzi

Mwachitsanzo, m'modzi mwa anzanga, okonda kuyenda omwe ali ndi otsatira 25,000, anali kufunafuna mnzake wokhala ndi otsatira ambiri kuposa iye kuti akhale banja loyenda pa Instagram. Izo zinali 2 years kumbuyo. Akadali wosakwatiwa ku 38 chifukwa ngakhale amapeza amuna omwe ali ndi otsatira ambiri kuposa iye, nthawi zambiri amalephera pazifukwa zake zina, monga kukhulupirika kapena maonekedwe. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Nazi zomwe mungachite m'malo mopanga miyezo yosatheka kwa okondedwa wanu:

• Chepetsani zomwe mukuyembekezera: Ndi bwino kukhala ndi miyezo, koma ndi bwino kukhala ndi mfundo zenizeni
• Zindikirani kuti chikondi sichingayesedwe ndi miyezo: Chikondi sichingayesedwe ndi sikelo. Lekani kuyika anthu pa zinthu zopanda pake zotere ndikuyamba kuyang'ana pa munthuyo

15. Ulosi wodzikwaniritsa 

Dr. Mukherji anati: “Nthawi zina palibe chilichonse koma zikhulupiriro zathu zoipa zimene zimasokoneza ubwenzi wathu.” Mwachitsanzo, zokhumudwitsa zomwe takumana nazo m'mbuyomu zingapangitse kuti tizichita zinthu molakwika. Titha kuyandikira maubwenzi athu mwa theka, kupereka mayankho ofunda kwa anzathu (poganiza kuti sizingachitike), ndikusiya kubweza ma deti.

Umu ndi momwe Dr. Susan Albers akufotokozera izi: "Mukakhazikitsa ziyembekezo zinazake, ziyembekezo zimenezo zingakupangitseni kuzindikira zinthu zina koma osalabadira zina. Maganizo anu amayang'ana kwambiri pazinthu zomwe zimatsimikizira zomwe mukuyembekezera."

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mukuwona kuti mukuyenera kuwongolera malingaliro anu olakwika ndikupewa kuwononga mwayi wanu ndi bwenzi lanu, yesani malangizo awa:

• Pitani mukalandire chithandizo: M'malo molowera m'mavuto, yesani chithandizo kuti mupeze chomwe chimayambitsa ndikupangitsa kuti mukhale ndi chiyembekezo.
• Yesetsani: Maubwenzi amafuna khama. Kulankhulana, kuwoneka bwino, ndikuchita zomwe zimafunika kuti zitheke
• Konzani mikangano mwachangu: Osagona chifukwa cha mikangano. Athetseni mwamsanga

Maganizo Final

Tikukhulupirira kuti kutsika kwathu pazizindikiro kuti simudzapeza chikondi ndipo mayankho awo akupangitsani kukhala ndi chiyembekezo chopeza chikondi. Ngati mukuyang'ana chibwenzi, muyenera kuzindikira kuti chikondi ndi njira ziwiri ndipo simungayembekeze kuchipeza pokhapokha mutayesetsa ndi kukonza zolakwika zanu. Mukuyang'ana chiyani paubwenzi? Zindikirani pa izi musanaleke chikondi. Khalani ndi zoyembekeza zenizeni, tulukani kumeneko, ndikupambana dziko lapansi ndi moyo wanu wabwino komanso wotukuka. Tikukufunirani zabwino zonse!

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.