N'chifukwa Chiyani Kukhala pachibwenzi N'kovuta Kwambiri? Zifukwa 10 Ndi Momwe Mungathanirane Nazo

Nkhani ya TIME imati , “Kukhala pachibwenzi masiku ano kumatanthauza kuphunzira kukhala omasuka ndi kukhala osasangalala.” Ndipo n’zolondola kwambiri. Koma n’chifukwa chiyani kukhala pachibwenzi masiku ano kuli kovuta? Yankho lake lingakhale m’njira imene timayendera pachibwenzi: masewera osatha osambira, kutsatiridwa ndi sewero la zokambirana zosamveka bwino, kenako nkhani ya ‘malo anu kapena anga’. Bwerezani izi kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo n’zosadabwitsa kuti kukhala pachibwenzi kumayamba kuoneka ngati ntchito ina yovuta pamndandanda wanu wa zochita.

Funso ndilakuti, kodi tinafika bwanji kuno? M'nkhaniyi, tifufuza mozama nkhani zokhudzana ndi chibwenzi chamakono. Ndi nzeru zothandiza kuchokera kwa mlangizi wa maubwenzi Dhriti Bhavsar (M.Sc, Clinical Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri paubwenzi, kutha kwa chibwenzi, ndi uphungu wa LGBTQ, tiyeni tifufuze chifukwa chake anthu ambiri akuona kuti chibwenzi cha pa intaneti n'chosasangalatsa komanso chovuta kupeza njira zothetsera vutoli.

Zifukwa 10 Zomwe Chibwenzi Ndi Chovuta Kwambiri

Kodi mwatopa ndi kusuntha kumanzere ndi kumanja tsiku lililonse? Kodi mukuona kuti mulibe mwayi ndi chibwenzi cha pa intaneti? Kudzifunsa mobwerezabwereza kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi cha pa intaneti chili chovuta kwambiri?" Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa 2022 ku US, anthu anayi mwa asanu omwe adafunsidwa adati amamva kutopa kwamaganizo akamachita chibwenzi pa intaneti. Ndipo onjezerani kusatsimikizika, kusowa kwa malingaliro, chizolowezi chochita chibwenzi ndi anthu ambiri nthawi imodzi chomwe chimabwera ndi chibwenzi chamakono, ndipo tili ndi njira yobweretsera tsoka. Ichi ndichifukwa chake chibwenzi chili chovuta masiku ano.

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Mark Manson , wolemba mabuku otchuka kwambiri a New York Times a The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck , akuti, "Mosiyana ndi kusewera piyano kapena kuphunzira chilankhulo, moyo wathu wogonana ndi chibwenzi umagwirizana kwambiri ndi zosowa zathu zamaganizo, ndipo tikakumana ndi zochitika zogonana kapena zogonana, zochitikazi zimatikhudza ndi mavuto athu akale omwe amatipangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa, nkhawa, kupsinjika maganizo ndi ululu." Izi zikuyankha bwino funso lakuti, nchifukwa chiyani chibwenzi chili chovuta kwambiri?

Kuti tifufuze za vuto lomwe limakhalapo chifukwa chogwidwa ndi zibwenzi mwatsatanetsatane, tiyeni tiwone zifukwa 10 zomwe zimapangitsa chibwenzi kukhala chovuta kwambiri: 

1. Ndikuchita

Pokhapokha ngati zili zachilengedwe (monga SO yanu kukupezani ku laibulale yaku koleji kapena malo odyera ndikukufunafunani kwamasiku), chibwenzi chimatha kuwoneka ngati kuchita bwino. Dhriti anati: “Zili choncho chifukwa umadziwa kuti zonse zimene ukunena kapena kuchita zimayesedwa. 

Pofotokoza chifukwa chake watopa ndi chibwenzi, Alice, katswiri wa HR wazaka 28, anati, "Zimamveka ngati kuchita zinthu ndipo zikuwoneka kuti ndidzanyozedwa ngati ndilephera. Ndi ntchito yovuta kuvala zovala zako zabwino kwambiri ndikuyamba kudzionetsera bwino, pamene ukudziwa kuti ukubisa zolakwika zako, zomwe zidzaonekera nthawi ina. Chibwenzi cha pa intaneti n'choipa."

2. Khama lalikulu-chiyembekezo chochepa

Chifukwa chiyani zibwenzi zapaintaneti zili zovuta masiku ano? Mwaona, kukhala pachibwenzi, ngakhale kutangoyamba kumene, kumafuna khama lalikulu. Anthu amathera nthawi yochuluka kuti adziwane, kuyimbirana kapena kutumizirana mameseji, kulemberana mameseji pazambiri zapa TV, koma amangokayikakayika kuti akupita kuti. 

Dhriti anati: “Masiku ano, n’zofala kwambiri kuti anthu azionana ndi anthu angapo. Mwinanso mungakhale mukudandaula za tsogolo la chibwenzi mukazindikira kuti munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi akuwona anthu ena. Zimayambitsa kupsinjika maganizo kosafunikira.

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3. Ikhoza kukuchotserani mphamvu

Chibwenzi m'nthawi ino n'chovuta chifukwa ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zolumikizirana ndi ma deti athu (ma meseji, mafoni apakanema, zolemba zamawu, ndi zina zotero), mutha kutopa posachedwa. Chifukwa cha zovuta za ntchito yanu yotanganidwa, mutha kuphonya foni yomwe munakonza kale usiku kapena kuletsa chibwenzi , ndipo potero, kuwakhumudwitsa. Kubwererananso kumafuna mphamvu zambiri ndi khama. Ndipo kuzungulira kumeneku sikutha.

Dhriti akufotokoza kuti: “Moyo wathu ndi wovuta kwambiri.” Komanso, kukakamizidwa kowonjezereka kuti tizilankhulana nthawi zonse kungachititse kuti tiyambe chibwenzi ndi mmene tingasangalalire ndi kutero.

4. Mchitidwe wa kugwirizana ndi maubwenzi osakhalitsa

Kusakhalitsa kwa maubwenzi ndi imodzi mwamayankho a funso lakuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani zibwenzi zapaintaneti zimakhala zovuta kwambiri?" M'nthawi ino ya zosankha zingapo zomwe zimapezeka mukangodina batani, machesi otsatira ndikuthamangitsa ndipo kudzipereka ndikovuta. 

Kusaganizira bwino kwathu kukuchepa, ndipo ndicho chimene chikupangitsa ambiri a ife kuyamba kupanga chibwenzi cha kanthawi kochepa kuti tikwaniritse zosowa zathu zachangu. Anthu ambiri akusankha maubwenzi ogwirizana ndi anthu ena kuti akwaniritse zosowa za mnzawo kapena chifukwa kudzipereka kwa wina kumafuna khama lalikulu.

Dhriti akufotokoza kuti: “Maganizo a anthu pa nkhani ya kudzipereka ndi maunansi asintha.” Anthu ambiri tsopano amapeŵa zilembo, zomwe zikuwonjezera kucholoŵana kwina kwa zinthuzo.

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5. Zoyembekeza zosayembekezereka

Mukufunsa, n’chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi chili chovuta chonchi? Chifukwa choti timayembekezera zambiri. Malo ochezera a pa Intaneti atipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti maubwenzi ndi zinthu zochititsa chidwi, kumene anthu amadya m’malesitilanti apamwamba kapena kupita kutchuthi m’malo achilendo. Chifukwa chake, chilichonse chomwe sichikugwirizana ndi zomwe timayembekezera kwambiri chimakhala chokhumudwitsa ndipo sitili okonzeka kusintha.

Dhriti akuti, "Tikuwoneka ofunitsitsa kutcha chilichonse chomwe sitimakonda mwa munthu mbendera yofiyira. Nthawi ina ndinamva wina akunena kuti "Anavala chinos ku tsiku lathu ndipo ndi mbendera yofiira." Tsopano, izi ndizopusa. Ndi bwino kukhala ndi zokonda, koma nthawi zina, sitimangosiya zomwezo. Tikuwoneka kuti tapanga lingaliro lonse losatheka la munthu wangwiro.

6. Kuopa kukanidwa

Kaya chifukwa cha kuvulala kapena vuto linalake la maganizo lomwe silinachiritsidwe, anthu ambiri amaopa kwambiri kukanidwa muubwenzi. Choncho, amathera pachibwenzi mpaka atasankha kupusitsa kapena kusiya munthu amene anali pachibwenzi naye mwadzidzidzi. Kafukufuku wa 2023 unasonyeza kuti kukana kumabweretsa mavuto chifukwa cha "kuchepa kwa kukhutira ndi ubale komanso kuyandikirana ndi ubale."

Izi zimawapangitsa kukhala ndi khalidwe loopsya logonana popanda kulowa mu zovuta za maubwenzi. Dhriti akufotokoza kuti: “Kukhala ndi chibwenzi masiku ano n’kodabwitsa kwambiri, ndiponso n’kovuta kwambiri. 

Ponena za mantha okana kukanidwa ndi momwe zimakhudzira moyo wa chibwenzi, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit anati, "Ndili ndi zaka 27M ndipo ndakhala ndili ndekha kwa zaka pafupifupi ziwiri tsopano. Pambuyo pa chibwenzi cha zaka zitatu, kwa chaka chimodzi ndakhala ndikuyesera kulowa mu chibwenzi pa intaneti. Panthawiyo sindinakhale ndi mwayi wopeza machesi kapena ngakhale kukambirana ndikapeza machesi. Ndaganiza zoyesa kukopa akazi omwe ndimapeza kuti ndi osangalatsa/okongola ngakhale kuti ndilibe chidaliro ndipo sindikufuna kuoneka ngati woopsa ndikupangitsa munthu kukhala wosasangalala."

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7. Nkhani zokhulupirira

Limodzi mwa mayankho a funso lakuti, n’chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi chili chovuta kwambiri?, ndi lakuti anthu sangakhulupirirene. Dhriti akuti, “Ngati muli ndi mavuto ochokera m’maubwenzi akale , monga kuvutika kukhulupirira munthu wina, mwina simunapambane kwambiri ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale. Izi zipangitsa kuti moyo wanu wa chibwenzi ukhale wovuta kwambiri.” Umu ndi momwe mungachitire:

• Mutha kuwakayikira akakhala kunja ndi anzawo 
• Mutha kumamatira kwambiri, kuwaimbira foni ndi kuwatumizira mameseji opanda buluu tsiku lonse
• Mutha kulingalira zazovuta kwambiri akayiwala kutumiza mameseji kapena kuyimba pazifukwa zina

8. Kugwirizana

Lingaliro la kuyanjana likuwoneka kuti lasanduka nthabwala pa mapulogalamu a chibwenzi. Anthu ali ndi matanthauzo odabwitsa a kufananirana, ndipo nthawi zina, matanthauzidwe amenewo amatha kukhala opanda pake.

Simukudziwa kalikonse za anime? Simunawonerepo gawo limodzi la Game of Thrones ? Mwina mukuweruzidwa ndikukanidwa pachiyambi pomwe. Dhriti akuti, "Kupeza kuyanjana n'kovuta, makamaka poganizira kuti anthu ambiri amayamba kudziteteza, osafuna kusintha."

Msuweni wanga, Andrea, nayenso anakumana nazo. Adauzidwa ndi tsiku lake kuti sizigwirizana chifukwa anali wamasamba ndipo tsiku lake silinali lamasamba. Zinali zowawa kwambiri kukanidwa zitangoyamba kumene chifukwa cha zinthu zazing’ono.” Kodi masiku ano anthu akufuna chiyani?

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9. Kusafuna kuyika ndalama mwamalingaliro

Dhriti anati: “N’kutheka kuti anthu ena amakhala otopa kwambiri, otopa kwambiri, kapena amangokhalira kukhumudwa chifukwa cha vuto lililonse.

Linda, wokonza tsitsi wazaka 25, anali pa mwezi pamene anapeza chibwenzi chamkuntho ndi mnyamata amene anagwirizana naye pa pulogalamu ya zibwenzi. Tonse tinali okondana kwambiri m'miyezi ingapo chabe titakhala pachibwenzi, kapena zinkangooneka ngati zinali choncho. Kenako, tsiku lina labwino, anamuuza mwadzidzidzi kuti sakufuna kupitiriza chibwenzicho.

Linda anakhumudwa kwambiri. Zinamutengera miyezi ingapo kuti achire ku kusweka mtima kosayembekezereka kumeneku ndipo tsopano walumbira kuti sadzakondanso chibwenzi pa intaneti posachedwa.

10. Kuopa kukhala pachiwopsezo

Chifukwa chiyani zibwenzi zapaintaneti zimakhala zovuta kwambiri? Kufotokozera kwina kwa vuto ili ndikuti anthu zimawavuta kuwonetsa mbali yawo yomwe ili pachiwopsezo. Kukhala pachiwopsezo kumatanthauza kuwonetsa mbali yanu yofewa, kulola munthu wina kuti awone zomwe mukuopa komanso kusatetezeka kwanu, kutsegulira zowawa zakale, kuwauza zinsinsi zomwe palibe wina aliyense akudziwa. Zingakhale zovuta kutsegulira munthu motere mukamacheza ndi mlendo pakompyuta ndipo mulibe njira yodziwira momwe alili. 

Mlonda wanu akhoza kukwezedwa pamwamba ndipo amakhala wosavuta kugonja pazochitika zilizonse zoipa padziko lonse la chibwenzi pa intaneti. Dhriti akuti, "Anthu ena amangoopa kutseguka kapena kukhala osatetezeka. Kudziwana ndi munthu wina ndi njira yolankhulirana, ndipo ngati mukana kuyesera kwawo kukudziwitsani, chibwenzi chidzamveka ngati malo omenyera nkhondo. Zikatero, muyenera kulimbikitsa mnzanu wanu kuti akhale wosatetezeka ."

Mmene Mungagonjetsere Mavuto Opeza Chibwenzi

Tsopano popeza takambirana za funso lakuti, n’chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi chili chovuta kwambiri masiku ano?, tiyeni tikambiranenso zimene tingachite kuti tithane ndi mavutowa komanso tipeze njira yoti tiyende bwino m’dziko la zibwenzi. 

Pofotokoza momwe ndasankhira kuthana ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi chibwenzi, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit anati, "Ndasankha kupuma pa mapulogalamu a chibwenzi, kuganizira kwambiri kulankhula ndi munthu mmodzi nthawi imodzi, osasewera nawo masewera, ndikukhala munthu wolakwika kwathunthu komanso weniweni kuyambira pachiyambi."

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Tikuvomereza kuti kukhala wekha kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi zovuta zambiri zomwe zimavutitsa zibwenzi zamakono. Komabe, sikophweka nthawi zonse kuswa nkhungu yomwe mwadziponyeramo ndikuvomereza zowona. Anthu ambiri amatha ngakhale kuvutika kuti atsimikizire kuti zenizeni zawo zikukhudza chiyani. Kukuthandizani kuthana ndi chopunthwitsa ichi, Dhriti amapereka malangizo 5 okuthandizani kuthana ndi zovuta za pachibwenzi masiku ano:

1. Dzidziweni nokha

Musanayambe kudziyika nokha kunja uko kudziko lachibwenzi, lumikizanani ndi inu nokha ndikumvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna kuchokera ku izi. Mukatero, zimakhala zosavuta kuthana ndi zovuta za chibwenzi. Dhriti amalimbikitsa njira zotsatirazi zodziwira ndikudzimvetsetsa bwino:

• Dziyang'anireni nokha ndikuwona momwe mukuchitira mokhudzidwa
• Khalani ndi mayankho omveka bwino a chifukwa chake mukufuna kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Ndi kukhutiritsa kugonana kapena chinachake kwanthawi yayitali komanso kwatanthauzo?
• Zindikirani kuti palibe chifukwa chozama kwambiri kapena chosavomerezeka. Ndibwino kuti mufufuze dziko lachibwenzi pa intaneti chifukwa mukufuna kudziwa

2. Osadziona ngati akukanidwa

Munayamba mwaonapo kuti malo ochezera a pa Intaneti alibe ntchito chifukwa anthu sayankha zochita zawo pa mapulogalamu otere? Pambuyo pake, tonsefe takhala tikuzunzidwa ndi mizimu. Ngakhale palibe kukayikira kuti kukanidwa kungakhale kovuta, iwonso ndi par kwa maphunziro anu chibwenzi ulendo. Ndiye muyenera kuchita bwanji nazo? Dhriti akulangiza kuti, “Musalole kuti kukanidwa kukukhumudwitseni. Monga momwe simungakonde aliyense amene mumalumikizana naye pa pulogalamu ya zibwenzi, aliyense sangakonde inu, ndipo zili bwino.

M'munsimu muli njira zina zothetsera kukana bwino:

• Yang'anani pa inu nokha: Tengani kukanidwa ngati chizindikiro chakuti inu nonse simunapangidwe kwa nthawi yayitali
• Dulani kukhudzana ngati izi zikupangitsani kumva bwino: Nthawi zambiri, kutumizirana mameseji/kulankhula ndi omwe akufuna kukhala machesi ngakhale atakana mukhoza kukulepheretsani kupita patsogolo
• Muzichita zinthu mokhwima ndi zamizimu: Ngati mwatero kukhala mzukwa, kuyankha mokhwima ndipo ganizirani izi motere: zikuwonetsa kulephera kwawo kukuwuzani moona mtima ndipo zikuwonetsa kuti alibe miyambo yoyambira pachibwenzi.

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3. Konzani masiku osangalatsa komanso osagwirizana

Dhriti akuti, "Konzani madeti omwe mungasangalale nawo, osati madeti anu achizolowezi a chakudya chamadzulo ndi khofi. Ngakhale kuti zingakhale zosangalatsa, kusankha zochita zomwe inu ndi munthu amene mukufuna kusangalala nazo, zidzakuthandizani kukhala paubwenzi wabwino ndi iye." Nazi malingaliro ena odabwitsa a madeti :

• Tsiku loyang'ana nyenyezi pamsasa
• Tsiku loyenda
• Tsiku ku malo ogulitsira mabuku, kukambirana mabuku omwe mumakonda ndikugula ena

4. Khalani owona

Dhriti anati: “Kukhala ndi chibwenzi masiku ano kuli ngati malo ochitira masewero. Njira yosavuta yothanirana ndi izi ndikusiya chizolowezi chochita bwino m'malo mwake kukhala owona. Pali, mulimonse, palibe chifukwa chodzinamizira kuti ndinu munthu yemwe simuli. Posapita nthaŵi, umunthu wanu weniweni udzawonekera, ndipo ngati sugwirizana ndi lingaliro la munthu wina wa bwenzi, mudzadziika wekha—ndi iwowo—pa chotulukapo chinanso chokhumudwitsa. Ndipo mudzasiyidwa mukudandaula kuti, "Chibwenzi chapaintaneti ndizovuta".

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5. Khalani omasuka

Dhriti anati: “Sikuti tsiku lililonse kapena munthu aliyense amene mumakumana naye ‘angakusangalatseni.’ Kukhala pachibwenzi kuyenera kukhala kwapang’onopang’ono ndipo nthawi zina kumangofunika kusangalala ndi zimene mwachitazo. Amapereka malangizo otsatirawa:

• Khalani ndi chiyembekezo
• Khalani ndi maganizo omasuka
• Lolani kumasuka ndi kusangalala ndi nthawi yochepa yodzipereka

Infographic Pa Momwe Mungasungire Moyo Wanu Wachibwenzi Wamoyo Ndi Kukankha

Chifukwa chake tsopano popeza tapereka mwatsatanetsatane mwatsatanetsatane momwe mungathanirane ndi zovuta zamasewera amakono, tiyeni tiwone zitsanzo zingapo za momwe mungasungire moyo wanu wa chibwenzi kukhala wosangalatsa. Nazi:

Mafunso Ofunsidwa Kawirikawiri:

Maganizo Final

Tikukhulupirira kuti muli ndi mayankho onse a "N'chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi chili chovuta masiku ano?" Tikukhulupiriranso kuti tsopano mutha kuthana ndi zovuta za chibwenzi mosavuta. Inde, chibwenzi sichinali chomwe chinali kale zaka khumi zapitazo. Si zonse zokhudza maluwa ndi chakudya chamadzulo. 

Kukhala pachibwenzi lero kumafuna kulimba mtima. Inde, zibwenzi zapaintaneti nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta, komanso kusatsimikizika kwake konse. Koma tikukhulupirira kuti mupeza bwenzi loyenera posachedwa ndi malangizo athu onse m'nkhaniyi. Ingokhalani enieni komanso otetezedwa nthawi yomweyo. Koma musaiwale kusangalala nokha! Tikukufunirani zabwino.

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