Ubwino 9 Wosalowa M'banja

Mabanja pa Instagram atha kukupangitsani kulakalaka ukwati wa pastel ndi tchuthi chaukwati ku Bahamas. Koma moyo wawo wokonzedwa kudzera mu lens wosefedwa umasiyana kwambiri ndi zenizeni. Musalole kuti FOMO ikupangitseni kuiwala za ubwino wosakwatiwa.

Ayi, sitikunena kuti kukwera sitima kupita ku umbeta kapena kusakwatiwa. Osathamangira kulowa m'banja chifukwa chokakamizidwa ndi anthu. Mutha kukhala osakwatiwa kwa nthawi yonse yomwe mukufuna kapena kukhala moyo wokongola ndi mnzanu popanda kumanga mfundo. Pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimalepheretsa kulowa m'banja. Kuyambira kuzemba msonkho mpaka kupewa maudindo aukwati kapena kungodzipulumutsa nokha ku ndalama zaukwati wopambana. Kaya zifukwa zanu zingakhale zotani, ichi ndi chifukwa chake chisankho chanu chilili.

Ubwino 9 Wosalowa M'banja

Malinga ndi kuyerekezera, anthu oposa 35 miliyoni ndi osakwatiwa ku USA? Anthuwa amapanga 31% ya anthu onse akuluakulu komabe, 50% mwa anthuwa akusangalala ndi moyo wawo wosakwatiwa modzifunira. Izi zikuwonetsa kuti sakuyang'ananso kukhala ndi chibwenzi, komanso kukhazikika. Kupatula iwo, okonda 17 miliyoni amakana kumanga mfundo. Chiwerengero cha anthu okwatirana amene akukhalira limodzi chawonjezeka kuwirikiza katatu m’zaka makumi awiri zapitazi. Ngakhale ziwerengerozi zitha kudabwitsa ena, kwa ena ndi gawo limodzi la moyo wawo.

Nazi zina mwazifukwa zoyenda pansi panjira mwina sikungakhale lingaliro labwino kwambiri.

1. Ubwino wokhala wosakwatiwa

Ngati mumadana ndi lingaliro la chibwenzi, ukwati uli kutali kwambiri ndi inu. Anthu omwe amakumana ndi zoopsa kapena a unalephera ubale wakale sangafune kulowa muubwenzi. Komanso, anthu ambiri okonda kugonana amakonda kukhala osakwatiwa. Kaya chifukwa chanu chingakhale chotani, ndi chanzeru kudzipatsa nthawi ndi nthawi kuti mukule kapena kuchira musanapereke kwa munthu wina. Zimakupulumutsaninso ku zovuta zambiri m'moyo zomwe nthawi zambiri zimabwera ndi maubwenzi atsopano.

Masiku ano, Millenials ambiri akusankha kukhala osakwatiwa, m'malo mogwera mumsampha waukwati. Izi zili choncho chifukwa akukula kukhala okonda kwambiri zolinga komanso amafuna kuchita bwino pantchito kuposa ukwati. M'malo modzikakamiza, mutha kusankha ufulu wanu wosankha ndikufunafuna zinthu zina zofunika.

2. Phindu lazachuma la kusakwatira

Tiyeni tifufuze mu masamu ake. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti ukwati wapakati umawononga ndalama zoposa $30,000? Kuwononga tsiku limodzi kumabweretsa kubweza ngongole kosatha.

Anthu omwe amadumpha mwambo waukwati amasunga zambiri, ndipo akhoza kuyika ndalama izi kuti apindule kwa nthawi yaitali. Kuwonjezera pa kukwera mtengo kwa tsiku limodzi, kusakwatira kungathandizenso mkhalidwe wanu wa ngongole. Ndi Equal Credit Opportunity Act, mutha kutenga ngongole popanda mnzanu. Komanso, mutha kuthandizira kukonza ngongole za anzanu kapena okondedwa anu popanda kukwatirana nawo. Ingowonjezerani ngati ogwiritsa ntchito ovomerezeka pa kirediti kadi yanu. Gawo lazachuma la moyo silifuna chovala choyera kapena malumbiro paguwa.

Ngati mukufuna kulowa m'banja chifukwa cha inshuwalansi ya umoyo wa mnzanuyo, pewani. Pali makampani ambiri omwe amapereka kwa okondedwa apakhomo. Nthawi zambiri amafunikira umboni wokhalamo m'miyezi 6 yapitayi komanso dongosolo loti akhalebe choncho mpaka kalekale. Chofunika kwambiri, anthu ambiri amawakonda ufulu wachuma zambiri. Kukhala wosakwatiwa kapena wosakwatiwa kumakuchotsani paudindo wogawana maakaunti akubanki ndi okondedwa wanu. Ngati simukufuna kukambirana kapena kufotokoza komwe, liti, komanso momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito ndalama zanu, ingolumphani kubowola.

3. Zotsatira za kukwatiwa pa msinkhu wolakwika

Tonse tili ndi azakhali ndi amayi omwe adakwatirana asanakwanitse zaka 18 ndipo anali ndi ana azaka zawo zoyambirira za makumi awiri. Tsopano, iwo amakunyozani inu ndi kunyoza pamene inu mukunena za kusakwatira. Avereji ya zaka za ukwati tsopano ili pakati pa 25 ndi 30, ndipo m’poyeneradi!

Ubwino wosakwatira kapena kukwatiwa udakali wachinyamata ndi wapadera komanso wochuluka. Zaka za m'ma 20 ndi nthawi ya moyo wanu pamene mukudziganizira nokha. Muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri zokhumba zanu, zomwe mumakonda, zomwe simukonda, kuzindikira za kugonana, ndi zolinga zantchito. Komanso, ndi nthawi yokhala ndi maudindo ochepa komanso osangalatsa kwambiri. Simuli womangidwa kusukulu kapena ku koleji komanso mulibe zoletsa kunyumba kapena nthawi yofikira 10pm. Ndi nthawi yabwino yogwira ntchito molimbika komanso kuchita maphwando molimbika.

Mutha kudzuka, kugona, kudya, kuyenda, kuchita zambiri maulendo ausiku a atsikana popanda kudziimba mlandu ndipo gulani zofuna za mtima wanu popanda kuyankha kwa wina aliyense. Kukwatiwa msanga kumakuchititsani kuphonya zochitika zofunikazi. Komanso, mumakonda kutaya anzanu apamtima mukakhazikika, makamaka mudakali aang'ono. Nthawi yofufuza zokonda zanu zogonana komanso maubwenzi imafupikitsa mukadzakwatirana ali achichepere. Kuzindikira kuti mumakonda kukhala ndi polyamorous chomangira m'malo mokhala ndi mkazi m'modzi mutagwidwa kungayambitse vuto. Kwenikweni, m’malo mothamangira m’banja, muyenera kupeza nthaŵi yodzimvetsetsa ndi kumanga umunthu wanu.

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4. Zotsatirapo zoipa za chisudzulo

Monga momwe tikufunira kukakamira ku maloto a 'zaka chikwi' kapena 'pamodzi kwamuyaya' loto, sizingatheke. Maukwati ambiri amabwera ndi tsiku lotha. Ife sitikudziwabe izo. Kodi mumadziwa, malinga ndi kafukufuku, pafupifupi 50 peresenti ya maukwati onse amasudzulana kapena kupatukana? Ziwerengero zimakwera kufika pa 60% ngati ndi banja lanu lachiwiri. USA ili pa nambala 6 padziko lonse lapansi pankhani ya zisudzulo. Ndipo kusudzulana kumadzetsa mavuto aakulu azandalama ndi maganizo. Avereji ya mtengo wa chisudzulo ndi woposa $15,000. Zingakhale zoipitsitsa ngati mukuyenera kulipira alimony kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale.

Komabe, zipsera zamalingaliro sizingawunidwe ngati mtengo umodzi. Anthu amamva kuwawa kwakukulu, kusokonezeka, ndi kusakhulupirika mu maubwenzi pafupipafupi. Ikhoza kuwonjezera mwayi wofuna kudzipha, PTSD, ndi zizindikiro zina zowawa zamaganizo. Mlanduwo umafika poipa ngati pali ana amene akusudzulana. Amakhala ndi nkhawa zambiri zomwe zingawononge thanzi lawo lakuthupi ndi lamalingaliro. Komanso, kumenyera ufulu wolera ana kapena ndalama zolipirira ana kumadzetsa mavuto. Ngakhale kuti kulekana kungakhale kosokoneza, ngati sichoncho, ndipo kukhala mbeta kungakhalenso wosungulumwa, kusudzulana kuli gehena pakokha. Ndi bwino kukhala wosakwatiwa n’kupewa mavuto obwera chifukwa cha kusudzulana.

5. Mungapewe kutengeka ndi apongozi

Tinene zoona, palibe amene amafuna kucheza ndi Aunty Betty patchuthi chilichonse. Kapena mawu achipongwe ochokera kwa apongozi ankhanza kwambiri. Sikuti aliyense amamwa tiyi. Kulimbana ndi apongozi osachita nkhanza komanso achibale athu kumabweretsa mavuto m'maganizo athu. Nthawi zambiri amawopsezedwa ndi kupezeka kwanu. Salemekeza malire anu ndikupeza cholakwika m'zochita zanu zonse. Nthawi zambiri, apongozi amtunduwu amakhala olamulira, onyoza, odzikonda komanso ambiri apongozi akuwononga mabanja nthawi zambiri kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Mwinanso sangakhale bwino ndi banja lanu. Zochita zawo zowonjezereka zimatha kuwononga zambiri kuposa chakudya chamadzulo cha Thanksgiving.

Kuopsa kopitirizabe kungathe ngakhale kuwononga moyo wachimwemwe wa m’banja. Zimapangitsa kuti banjali likhale lovuta kwambiri. Amayamba kumenyana ndi kusamvana chifukwa cha chikoka cha banja lawo. Komanso, mnzawo yemwe ali ndi banja loyipa amavutika ndi mbali zonse ziwiri. Ayenera kuponda madzi mosamala popanda kukhumudwitsa banja lawo kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo. Zochitika zabwino kwambiri zomwe apongozi anu ali okoma komanso abwino zitha kukhala zovuta. Muyenera kusamalira thanzi lawo ndi ndalama. Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu ambiri amasankha kudumpha fiasco ya apongozi ndikukhala opanda nkhawa.

6. Chosankha chovuta

Kodi ndinu munthu wongolankhula kapena munthu wamba? Kodi simukonda kugawana malo anu enieni? Kodi muli ndi chilema chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala chovuta kukhalira limodzi ndi munthu wina? Ngati zokonda zanu zisemphana ndi lingaliro la ukwati wamwambo, lumphanitu. Moyo wachipambano waukwati umafunikira kudzimana kofanana ndi kusintha kwa okwatiranawo. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kukhala okonzeka 100% ndikukondwera ndi lingaliro ili musanamange mfundo.

Munthu aliyense ali ndi umunthu wake, mbiri ya moyo wake, ndi zolinga zake. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muli ndi mwana ndi mnzanu wakale kapena munatenga mwana, ndiye kuti kukwatira ndikwabwino kwa inu kuposa munthu amene wopanda mwana mwa kusankha. Udindo wanu woyamba ndi wosamalira mwana wanu. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kuyanjana kwa mwana wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu ndikofunikira monga kudzipereka kwanu kwa iwo. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu posachedwa sakonda mwana wanu, kukwatirana naye sikumveka.

Ubwino wosakwatiwa ukakhala ndi mwana ndi wopanda malire. Zimakupulumutsani inu ndi mwana wanu vuto la kuzolowera munthu watsopano m'nyumba. Zimathandizanso kupeŵa mavuto onse amene mwana wanu amakumana nawo m’banja. Mofananamo, ukwati suli wanu ngati mukunyoza kudzipereka ndi kukonda kukhala moyo wopanda zingwe zomangika kwa munthu aliyense. Ndi bwino kufufuza njira zina m’malo molola kuti zochita za anzanu zikugonjetseni.

7. Phindu la msonkho wosakwatira

Kwa nthawi yaitali, anthu ena akhala akukwatiwa pazifukwa zolakwika. Kupusitsidwa kwa ndalama zambiri za msonkho ndizo basi - chinyengo. Ndi kusintha kwa nthawi, ndalama zomwe amapeza, komanso ogwira nawo ntchito, ndalama zotumizira misonkho sizikhala zokopa ngati kale. Kale, akazi ankakhala pakhomo ndipo mwamuna ndiye ankasamalira banja. Kuonjezera apo, ngakhale mkaziyo atagwira ntchito, kusiyana pakati pa malipiro awo kunali kwakukulu. Malinga ndi nthawi zamakono, zochitika zikusintha.

Pamene ndalama za anthu okwatirana zimakwera, chilango cha msonkho chimakweranso. Maanja amalipira misonkho yambiri kuposa osakwatiwa pamene:
- Onse awiri ali ndi ndalama zambiri
- Onse awiri amapeza ndalama zochepa popanda ana
- Opeza ndalama ziwiri

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8. Zotsatira za kukhala ndi moyo wabwino

Ukwati si malo a maluwa. Zimabwera ndi zovuta zake komanso zovuta zake. Moyo wovuta wa m'banja ungayambitse kusokonezeka maganizo ndi kuwononga thanzi lanu. Kupsyinjika kwa okwatirana kumachoka padenga pamene akulimbana nawo mikangano ya m’banja, ndewu, kapena nkhanza. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kusakhutira kumeneku kumatha kuwononga chitetezo chawo chamthupi ndikuwonjezera chiwopsezo cha imfa. M'malo mwake, mikangano yambiri imabweretsa kupsinjika kwakukulu, nkhawa, komanso kutsika kwabwino.

Kuwonjezera pa mavuto aakulu azaumoyo, anthu amangodzilola okha kupita m’banja. Amangoganizira kwambiri za zomwe amakonda, kudzikongoletsa, komanso kudzisamalira. Mwina munaonapo kuti anzanu akakwatiwa kapena kukhala ndi pakati, umunthu wawo nawonso umasintha. Kuona ngati zotsatira za maudindo awo kapena kupondereza apongozi awo. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, tonse tataya abwenzi athu atamanga nyumba. Kafukufuku amagwirizana ndi zomwe mwawona, kuti anthu okwatirana amakonda kukhala omasuka komanso otsekedwa. Izi zimatsogolera ku bwalo laling'ono la anzanu.

9. Njira ina yokhalira ndi okondedwa wanu

Sikuti aliyense amaopa kudzipereka. Mutha kukhala otsimikiza za kukhala moyo wanu ndi munthu, koma osakonda dongosolo laukwati. Ngati ndi choncho kwa inu, pali zambiri zomwe mungachite kuti mufufuze. Ubwino wosakwatiwa mwalamulo ndi wochuluka. Mutha kukhalira limodzi, kukhala okwatirana, ndikusangalala ndi zabwino zonse za banja - popanda chizindikiro, mtengo, ndi udindo waukwati. Zimenezi zingakuthandizeninso kuti musamapanikizike chifukwa chosamalira banja lanu kapenanso kutenga mimba.

Njira ina ndikukhala pafupi osakhala m'nyumba imodzi. Mwanjira imeneyi, mumapewa kupanikizika chifukwa chogawana maudindo a m’banja. Mutha kukhala moyo waulere, wosiyana mukakhalabe limodzi. Komanso, pali anthu ambiri maubale otseguka ndi zokonda zosiyanasiyana zogonana. Maanjawa atha kusankha kukhala limodzi kwinaku akupereka ufulu kwa mnzawo kuti agone kapena kutengeka ndi ena. Mutha kusankha mosavuta zomwe zimakupindulitsani nonse popanda kugwa pamwambo waukwati.

Kukwatiwa pazifukwa zilizonse zochepa kuposa chikondi kapena chitetezo chamalingaliro ndiko kulakwitsa. Muyenera kukhala otsimikiza pazachuma komanso m'malingaliro kuti mulembetse ubale wanu ndi chikondwerero. Musalole kuvutitsidwa ndi zomwe anthu amayembekezera. Mutha kunyalanyaza zomwe amayi anu akunena kuti mukwatirane ndi mfundo komanso ziwerengero zomwe tazitchulazi. Yang'anani zomwe mumakonda ndikusankha mwanzeru musanalumphe mfuti!

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