Kukhala oleza mtima muubwenzi? Chiyambi chabwino chingakhale kukumbukira izi: “Panthaŵi ina m’moyo, wina adzakukondani kuposa mmene mumayembekezera.” Khalani oleza mtima ndipo phunzirani kudikira, chifukwa nthaŵi zina, munthu woleza mtima amalandira nkhani yabwino koposa ya chikondi.
Tikukhala m'nthawi ya maubwenzi oyendetsedwa ndi mapulogalamu pomwe kupeza mwamuna kapena mkazi wamaloto anu ndikosavuta monga kusuntha kumanja kapena kumanzere. Komabe, mosasamala kanthu za kusokonekera kwaposachedwa ndi kutha kwenikweni kwa nthawi yathu ino, malingaliro ena achikale akadali owona.
Mfundo yakuti zinthu zabwino zimabwera kwa anthu omwe amadziwa kukhala oleza mtima mu chiyanjano kukhala mmodzi wa iwo.
Mbalame zachikondi zamasiku ano zimadziwa misampha yonse yokopa munthu wamaloto awo, koma nthawi zambiri zimalephera kuzindikira khalidwe limodzi lofunika kuti chikondi chipitirize - kufunika koleza mtima paubwenzi. Tinder ndi masamba ena azibwenzi mwina adapangitsa kuti kukhale kosavuta kukumana ndi anthu. Koma palibe luso limene limakuthandizani imbibe chikondi ndi kuleza mtima mu ubwenzi. Ubwino wa kuleza mtima uyenera kuphunziridwa movutikira, ndi kulingalira kwakukulu ndi kuzindikira.
Nthawi iliyonse mukayamba chibwenzi ndi munthu, pali chiyembekezo chobisika kuti adzakhala AMENE. Koma kupanga ubale kumafuna khama ndi umunthu wina, womwe pakati pawo kuleza mtima kumakhala kokwezeka. Kukhala woleza mtima pachibwenzi kungapangitse kapena kusokoneza chikondi chanu.
Kodi Kuleza Mtima N'kofunika Bwanji Paubwenzi?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Miranda ndi Janice anali atakhala okwatirana kwa zaka zingapo, pamene Miranda anadzipeza akuyamba kusaleza mtima ndi Janice. Nthawi zonse Janice anali wofatsa, ndipo sakanatha kuchita zambiri popanda kudandaula za kutopa kwake.
M’miyezi yoyambirira yaubwenzi wawo, Miranda anapirira mwachikondi, koma posakhalitsa analeka kuleza mtima ndipo anayamba kukwiya ndi kukwiyira Janice.
Anthu ambiri amasokoneza kuleza mtima ndikusintha kwambiri kapena kunyengerera. Ndipo m’malo mofunsa kuti ‘Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikhale woleza mtima paubwenzi?’, funso limakhala lakuti ‘N’chifukwa chiyani ndiyenera kutero’? Ndipo, moona mtima, ili ndi funso lovomerezeka kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wazaka zatsopano kuti afunse.
Mosiyana ndi mbadwo wa agogo athu, sitiona kwenikweni mfundo yodikira kosatha munthu amene timamukonda. Kodi mwamuna amene mumakopeka naye alibe nazo chidwi? Osadandaula! Ingopitilirani kusuntha ndikupitilira ina.
Koma chifukwa chimene mukuyenera kukhala oleza mtima mu chiyanjano si cha inu kapena iwo okha. Ndi za moyo wanu wachikondi wonse. Choyamba, vomerezani kuti muli ndi zolakwika komanso momwe mnzanuyo amachitira. Nthawi zambiri, m'masiku oyambilira achikondi, mumangonyalanyaza mavuto, ndikukonda kusangalala ndi mwambi woti 'chikondi chamkuntho'.
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Ndipamene mufika poyambira pamene mumayamba kuona wokondedwa wanu momwe alili - munthu wamba wokhala ndi makhalidwe abwino ndi oipa. Mungakonde ena, mukhoza kukwiyitsidwa ndi ena. Ndiye, kodi muyenera kungoyiwala zonse zomwe mudagawana ndikutuluka?
Chabwino, kusankha ndikwanu koma kukhala woleza mtima ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kumatanthauza kuti mumavomereza zofooka zawo komanso kuzindikira kwanu. Ndikoyenera chifukwa kuyembekezera ungwiro ndi lingaliro lopanda pake. Ubwino umabwera ndi zoyipa kotero kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino, muyenera kuzindikira mphamvu ndi zofooka za wina ndi mnzake ndikuzigwirira ntchito limodzi - kuthandizira osati kupikisana!
Mitundu Ya Ubale Ndi Momwe Mungakhalire Oleza Mtima Pa Uliwonse
Muyenera kuphunzira kuleza mtima kumayambiriro kwa ubale ngati mukufuna kupita nawo pamlingo wina. Ndiyeno, muyenera kupitiriza kukhala woleza mtima ndi munthu amene mumam’konda ngati mukufuna kuti ukwati wanu kapena ubwenzi wanu uziyenda bwino. Werengani kuti mudziwe chifukwa chake komanso momwe mungachitire:
1. Momwe mungakhalire oleza mtima muubwenzi watsopano
Tinene kuti mwakumana ndi munthu, ndipo amalemba mabokosi onse. Kodi chinachitika n'chiyani? Pali zotheka ziwiri - mungakonde zomwe mukuziwona kapena kukopa koyambirira kumatha kutha mukangokhazikika. Tsopano, apa ndi pamene muyenera kukhala oleza mtima kumayambiriro kwa ubale ngati mukufuna kupereka mwayi.
Zipatseni nthawi. Mwina simungakhale okonzeka kudzipereka pa. Tengani miyezi ingapo kuti mudziwane bwino. Lingaliro limodzi lingakhale kuti musakumane ndi njira zambiri koma kugwedeza madeti anu. Chikhumbo chidzawonjezeka, ndipo chidzakupatsani malo opuma.
Chofunika koposa, musanyalanyaze anzanu ena ndi mapangano anu. Yankhani msanga msanga. Kumbukirani kuti mukumanga maziko a ubale wautali kotero mupatseni malo opumira kuti akule bwino. Ngati izo zikuyenera kukhala, zidzapita patsogolo bwino.
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2. Momwe mungakhalire oleza mtima muubwenzi wodzipereka
Mumayamba chibwenzi ndipo patatha masiku oyamba, ndinu okwatirana. Imeneyi ndi nthawi yoti mumudziwe bwino pamene mukukhala limodzi kapena kuthera nthawi yambiri muli limodzi. Iyi ndi nthawi yomwe kulephera chipiriro muubwenzi ndikuchita zinthu mopupuluma kumakhala chizolowezi, choncho samalani.
Muyenera kuyesetsa mwakhama kuti mukhalebe limodzi. Konzani zatchuthi ndi zochitika zapadera. Musaiwale kupereka ndi kulandira mphatso. Pezani nthawi yochitirana zinthu zing’onozing’ono. Tsiku lililonse sangakhale ngati tsiku lanu loyamba, koma inu mukhoza ndithu kuti pang'ono anu kuti izo wapadera.
M’maubwenzi anthaŵi yaitali, odzipereka kapena m’banja, zothetsa nzeru za kulimbikitsana zimawonjezereka.
Mayesero ndi ochuluka, koma muyenera kukhala odzipereka pa cholinga cha chikondi. Gwiritsani ntchito gawoli kuti mupeze zatsopano za wokondedwa wanu, zina zomwe simungakonde. Koma kusaleza mtima muubwenzi sikuthandiza aliyense wa inu.
3. Momwe mungakhalire oleza mtima muubwenzi wakutali
Ili ndi vuto lalikulu. Nthawi zambiri okwatirana amasiyana chifukwa cha ntchito kapena zifukwa zawo. Kukhala paubwenzi wabwino kumafuna khama kwambiri ndipo n'kosavuta kusiya kuika maganizo pakakhala zovuta zina kapena zokopa zakunja.
Njira imodzi yotulukira: Kulanga. Njira yopirira mu a ubale wautali ndiko kulankhulana mosalekeza ndi kukumana nthaŵi zonse. Joshua anali kugwira ntchito ku New York, pamene Naomi anali ndi ntchito ku Paris. Pofunitsitsa kuti ubale wawo upitirire, adakonza tsiku lowonera mawonedwe mlungu ndi mlungu ndipo amatumiza mauthenga okopana masana.
Mtunda wautali ndi wovuta ndipo ndikofunikira kuti motowo ukhale wamoyo. Ndipo khulupirirani kapena ayi, zoyambira zimafunikira chipiriro kuti zichirikize, nazonso.
Chikhulupiriro ndicho chinsinsi chokhala woleza mtima muubwenzi womwe umakhala wautali. Osafunsa kapena kufufuza chilichonse chomwe wokondedwa wako akuchita. Perekani mavuto awo kumva kwa odwala ndikuyembekezera zomwezo kwa iwo. Makamaka popeza simungathe kuonana kaŵirikaŵiri, mikhalidwe ingafune kufotokoza moleza mtima. Perekani nthawi imeneyo kwa wina ndi mzake.
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Njira 11 Zokulitsira Kuleza Mtima
Kodi kukhala wodekha muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani? Kaya ukwati wanu kapena ubale wanu ndi wotani, muyenera kuusamalira nthawi zonse. Zoonadi, sizingakhale zophweka nthawi zonse, makamaka ngati mnzanuyo alibe kukhwima. Koma ngati mwatsala ndikudabwa nthawi zonse - ndingatani kuti ndikhale woleza mtima muubwenzi wanga - apa pali zidule ndi zida. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti musataye mtima.
1. Landirani zolakwika, zanu ndi za mnzanu
Moni, ndi chikumbutso chanu chatsiku ndi tsiku kuti palibe amene ali wangwiro. Chinsinsi chodekha ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna yemwe mumamukonda ndikusiya chiyembekezo cha ungwiro monga tanenera pamwambapa. Ngati pakufunika, lembani zolakwika zonse zomwe mumawona mwa mnzanu. Kenako ganizirani kumene mungathe chikhululukireni ndi zomwe zili zosavomerezeka. Weruzani omalizirawo pamaziko a mndandandawo.
2. Lankhulani ndi bwenzi lanu
Ndiosavuta kuiwala mu magawo oyamba a ubale wanu koma kumbukirani kukhala nokha kuyambira tsiku loyamba. Momwe mumavomerezera nkhani za mnzanu, muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti akudziwanso zanu. Zolakwika za umunthu siziyenera kudabwitsa aliyense wa inu. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kupeza nthawi yomanga maziko a ubale wanu.
Kwa Lucy ndi Tom, zidabwera ngati gawo la sabata iliyonse, pomwe amakambira nkhani zilizonse zomwe amakhala nazo payekhapayekha, kapena wina ndi mnzake. M’malo mounjikana, iwo anatenga ola limodzi kapena aŵiri kukhala pansi ndi kuyeseza kulankhulana kwabwino.
3. Onani mkhalidwe monga momwe iwo akuwonera
Kodi mukudzifunsa kuti, 'Kodi ndingakhale woleza mtima ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga?' Khazikitsani khalidwelo kuti muthe kuona zinthu monga momwe mnzanuyo amaonera. Akachita zinthu mopanda nzeru, n’zosavuta kutaya chipiriro m’chibwenzi n’kuyesedwa kutuluka. Dzikumbutseni kuti mnzanuyo ndi inu mumachokera kumadera osiyanasiyana. Dziyikeni nokha mu nsapato zawo ndikuyesera kuwamvetsa.
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4. Chepetsani zomwe mukuyembekezera
Ambiri maubwenzi lekana chifukwa cha ziyembekezo zosiyanasiyana. Mutha kuyembekezera kuti wokondedwa wanu amakumbukira tsiku lobadwa, tsiku lokumbukira tsiku lililonse ndikukupatsirani mphatso ndi kupsompsona nthawi iliyonse monga momwe amachitira pa chibwenzi. Akalephera kuchita zimenezo, umakwiya. Komabe, m'malo mokhala ndi ziyembekezo zazikuluzi nthawi zonse, zichepetseni. Mudzaona kukhala kosavuta kukhala oleza mtima pachibwenzi ndiye.
5. Phunzirani kulimbana ndi kusaleza mtima
Ngati mukudzifunsa kuti, 'Kodi kukhala woleza mtima paubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani?', takupatsani nkhani. Monga momwe mukulitsa kuleza mtima mwa inu, mungafunikirenso kuphunzira kulimbana ndi kusaleza mtima kwa mnzanuyo. Kodi akukwiyira pa chinachake? Mutha kukhala mukuyabwa kuti mubwezere. Koma yesetsani kulamulira maganizo anu. Khalani kutali ndi sewero ndikupatseni mpata wopuma. Yambitsani nkhaniyi nonse mutakhala bata.
6. Lingalirani ndi kulemba
Zitha kumveka ngati zopusa koma kulemba kapena kulemba zomwe mukuopa, ziyembekezo zanu ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera zitha kukuthandizani kukhala oleza mtima mu maubwenzi, makamaka omwe ali okondana kwambiri. Lembani mikhalidwe kapena mikhalidwe imene inachititsa kuti inuyo kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mutope paubwenziwo.
Dziwani momwe mukumvera komanso momwe mukumvera. Ndiyeno, ganizirani za mmene inuyo ndi mmene iwowo amachitira ndipo weruzani ngati kusaleza mtima kunaipitsa kapena kunasintha. Mudzapeza malingaliro abwino.
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7. Phunzirani luso lodikira
Chifukwa chake, mnzanu adalonjeza ulendo wopita ku Colorado ndipo mukuyembekezera mwachidwi kuti zichitike, koma akuwoneka kuti wayiwalatu. Malonjezo osakwaniritsidwa angakhale a wosokoneza mgwirizano koma kumangokhalira kukakamira wokondedwa wanu pa lonjezo lililonse kapena chilichonse chomwe anena, sikungathandize. Phunzirani kudikira. Njira imodzi yokhalira woleza mtima pachibwenzi ndiyo kuchotsa malingaliro anu pa lonjezo. Pamene chidzawoneka, chisangalalo chidzawonjezereka.
8. Kulitsani luso lomvetsera
Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe anthu amayamba kutaya mtima m'banja ndi chifukwa amaiwala luso lakumvetsera. Gwirizanani, makamaka ngati muli ndi mavuto kapena mikangano, nkovuta kumvetsera mbali inayo. Njira yosavuta - kupuma. Lolani mnzanuyo amalize diatribe yake. Ndipo pokhapo kuyankha. Kumvetsera n'kofunika ngati mukufuna kuti wokongola wanu akumvetsereni. Ili ndi yankho losavuta ngati mukudzifunsa nthawi zonse kuti 'ndingakhale woleza mtima bwanji ndi mwamuna wanga.'
9. Yankhani, osachitapo kanthu
Kukhala woleza mtima mu ubale kumakhalapo pakati pa zomwe mukumva ndi momwe mumachitira. Tiyerekeze kuti inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mumakangana kwambiri. Zomwe mungayankhe nthawi yomweyo zitha kubwezedwa ndi manja ndi mawu aukali, zomwe ndi zomveka bwino.
Koma njira yokhwima yothanirana nazo ingakhale kulingalira musanalankhule, popeza kusasankha bwino mawu kumangowonjezera mkhalidwewo. Ngakhale ndemanga yofatsa kapena funso lingayambitse kuthetsa mikangano, chitonzo chimangowonjezereka.
Timamvetsa kuti ndi anthu okha amene amafuna kuchita zinthu mwaukali nthawi zina. Ndipo nthawi zina, zikhoza kukhala zovomerezeka. Koma taganizirani za nthawi yonse ndi mphamvu zomwe mungapulumutse ngati mutaluma mawu a asidiwo ndi kupuma mozama musanalankhule.
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10. Muzipatula nthawi yocheza
Mungathe kuyesetsa kukhala oleza mtima muubwenzi, koma sizingagwire ntchito ngati simupanga zoyesayesa kuti chikondicho chikhale chamoyo. M’dziko lotanganidwali, nthawi ndiyofunika kwambiri ndipo n’chifukwa chake muyenera kupeza nthawi yochitira limodzi zinthu zimene mumakonda. Osafuna nthawi zonse kukhala ndi njira yanu. Gawani masiku anu pakati pa zomwe mumakonda ndi mnzanuyo. Ndikochita pang'ono koma kungathandize kwambiri kulimbitsa mgwirizano wanu.
11. Phunzirani kulolera
Zimenezi n’zofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale oleza mtima. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kudzipereka nthawi zonse koma dziwani zomwe mungakhululukire ndikupitilira. Yesani ndikufika pakatikati pa mikangano yonse. Kuchita kuleza mtima kudzakuthandizani kuchepetsa ululu. Kulankhula, kulankhulana ndipo mudziwitse mnzanuyo pamlingo womwe mukufuna kusintha.
Zitha kukhala zovuta kukhala oleza mtima muubwenzi chifukwa cha zovuta zazaka zomwe tikukhalamo koma kuyesetsa mosalekeza kumatha kusintha. Pakakhala mavuto, zimakhala zosavuta kusiya maubwenzi anu. Kuti mupange chinthu chokhalitsa komanso chozikidwa pa chikondi chenicheni, pamafunika khama lalikulu. Lolani kuti moyo wanu umangike pa kudekha ndi kumvetsetsa ndiyeno palibe chovuta chomwe chidzawoneke ngati chosatheka.
Ibibazo
Kuleza mtima ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi wabwino. Zinthu zabwino zimabwera kwa anthu omwe amadikirira ndipo ali okonzeka kukhulupirira, kukhala oona mtima komanso kudzipereka. Osathamangira kuzinthu kapena kuyesa kusintha okondedwa anu, m'malo mwake khalani ndi nthawi ndi mphamvu kuti mukule limodzi.
Perekani nthawi yaubwenzi wanu watsopano ndipo musathamangire kudzipereka. Yendetsani ma deti anu, musamawononge nthawi iliyonse mukadzuka wina ndi mzake. Kondwerani ubalewo ndikuupereka malo opumira. Musanyalanyaze anzanu ena
Zikutanthauza kuti ndinu wokonzeka kumupatsa mwayi munthuyo. M'malo mothamangira mu ubale wakuya ndi kuswa mophweka basi, ndinu okonzeka kuti aganyali nthawi mu izo ndi kulera izo. Mungafunikire kunyalanyaza makhalidwe ena okhumudwitsa ndi kuika maganizo anu pa zabwino. Zonse ndi mbali ya kukhala woleza mtima.
Inde, kuleza mtima ndiko chinsinsi cha unansi wabwino. Kukhala oleza mtima ndi kuganizirana ndi imodzi mwa njira zomangira ubale wolimba. Kaya ubale watsopano kapena wodzipereka, kukhala woleza mtima, komanso kusathamangira ku chiweruzo kudzakuthandizani bwino.
Landirani zolakwika za mnzanu, palibe amene ali wangwiro. Kulankhulana bwino. Khalani ndi luso lomvetsera. Phunzirani kunyengerera pang'ono. Perekani nthawi pamodzi ndikuphunzira momwe mungayankhire, osati kuchita.
Kupanda chipiriro kumatanthauza kuti mumalumphira kumaganizo posachedwa kwambiri. Simukuwona mbali ina ya chithunzicho momveka bwino ndikukhala ndi zoyembekeza zapamwamba kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu koma simukufuna kukwaniritsa mfundozo nokha.
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
