17 Njira Zothandiza Zopangira Ubale Wautali

Funsani aliyense amene ali m'gulu limodzi, ndipo angakuuzeni kuti sikophweka kudziwa momwe mungapangire ubale wakutali. Matoni amamasuliridwa molakwika nthawi zonse mukamalankhulana kudzera m'malemba, kupeza nthawi yoyenera yolankhulirana ndikovuta, ndipo kulakalaka kwa m'mimba komwe mumamva mukaphonya mnzanu kungakupangitseni kufunsa ngati kuli koyenera.

Ngakhale zibwenzi zotalikirana ndi maubwenzi zimabwera ndi zovuta zambiri kuposa momwe zimakhalira, nthawi zina sizingapewedwe. Kupatula apo, mtima umafuna zomwe umafuna. Ngati mupeza kuti pali kugwirizana kosaneneka ndi munthu amene simukhala mumzinda womwewo ndi inu, sikuli kwanzeru kutaya zonsezo chifukwa chakuti mtunda umabweretsa chopinga. Kupatula apo, nthawi zina zinthu monga zofuna zantchito ndi zochitika zadzidzidzi zimasokoneza. Zikatero, kumvetsetsa momwe mungapulumukire ma LDR kumakhala kofunika kwambiri.

Ndiye, kodi chofunika ndi chiyani kwenikweni? Mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi Geetarsh Kaur , yemwe anayambitsa Sukulu ya Luso, yomwe imadziwika bwino pakumanga ubale wolimba, akukupatsani malangizo a ubale wautali omwe angathandize kupewa mtunda womwe ungakhudze malingaliro.

Mavuto a Ubale Wakutali

Ngakhale zotsatira za LDR zimasiyana malinga ndi ubale, chinthu chimodzi chimakhalabe chokhazikika m'zonsezi: mavuto omwe okwatirana ayenera kulimbana nawo. Mavuto amenewa nthawi zambiri amakhala omwe amapha maubwenzi akutali . Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti pali mwayi wa 40% wa maanja a LDR kutha. Ndipo sizokhazo, kafukufuku wina akusonyeza kuti LDR ikasanduka ubale wapafupi kwambiri, imakhala ndi mwayi wa 37% wotha m'miyezi itatu yoyambirira. Kupambana kwakukulu kumeneku kungayambitsidwe ndi mavuto otsatirawa a ubale wakutali:

• Malinga ndi NYPost, vuto lalikulu lomwe okwatirana a LDR amakumana nalo ndilo kusowa kwa ubwenzi wakuthupi
• Kuda nkhawa ndi kuberedwa kapena kulimbana ndi nkhani zodalirika
• Mavuto olankhulana
• Kulimbana ndi kusungulumwa
• Kusalankhulana bwino chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa nthawi
• Kukula padera & kutaya kugwirizana maganizo
• nsanje
• Kupanga malingaliro ndi kulumphira ku mfundo
• Kusatetezeka
• Kudzimva kukhala otalikirana
• Kukhala wolamulira, kulamulira, ndi kufuna mopambanitsa

Kuwerenga Kofanana: 'Ukwati Wotalikirana Ukuswa Chigwirizano Chathu'—Katswiri Amalangiza Zoyenera Kuchita

Kodi Maubwenzi Akutali Angagwire Ntchito?

Ziwerengero izi ndi mndandanda wa mavuto omwe akuchitika kwa nthawi yayitali zingakupangitseni kudzifunsa kuti, kodi maubwenzi akutali angagwire ntchito? Zoona zake n'zakuti, zonse zimadalira momwe maanja akutali amayendera pamavuto ndi mavuto. Komabe, kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti maubwenzi akutali (LDRs) angagwire ntchito, ndipo nthawi zina, amatha kufalikira. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti maanja omwe ali mu LDRs nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi maubwenzi amphamvu chifukwa cha khama lalikulu lolankhulana, ndipo amapitiliza kukhala ndi maubwenzi akutali opambana.

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa 2013 wofalitsidwa mu Journal of Communication , maanja a LDR amakonda kugawana zambiri zapamtima ndipo amasonyeza chikondi chachikulu kuposa omwe amakhala pafupi kwambiri. Kafukufuku wina mu Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy adapeza kuti ma LDR amatha kulimbikitsa kukhazikika kwa ubale pamene okwatirana amalankhulana nthawi zonse ndikukhazikitsa ziyembekezo za tsogolo lawo limodzi. Ukadaulo umagwira ntchito yofunika kwambiri pano, kulola maanja kukhala olumikizana kudzera pa mafoni apakanema, mauthenga, ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti.

Komabe, kusunga chidaliro, kuyang'anira nthawi, ndi maulendo okonzekera ndizofunikira kuti muthane ndi zovuta. Ngakhale ma LDR amafunikira khama, mtunda ukhoza kulimbikitsa kulimba ndikukulitsa ubale pamene onse awiri adzipereka. Anthu ena amaphunzira kukhala odziimira paokha komanso oleza mtima n’kumaganizira kwambiri zimene amakonda kapena kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano. Ena amalola kusungulumwa, kusadzisungika, ndi kusagwirana manja kuwafikira. 

Geetarsh akufotokoza ngati kulumikizana kwanthawi yayitali kwa malingaliro kungatheke muubwenzi wotere, komanso zomwe zimafunika kuti ukhalepo ndikuuchirikiza. "N'zotheka, koma ndi zovuta zambiri. Kusalankhulana kungayambitse kutopa, kungayambitse kusadzidalira, ndipo kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi moyenera kungasokonezeke chifukwa cha izi. Komabe, zomwe amanena za kusakhalapo komwe kumapangitsa mtima kukhala wokondwa si nkhani yakale chabe, ndi chochitika chenicheni.

“Kutalikirana pakati pa inu nonse kungakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu ogwirizana komanso okondwa kukumananso ndi mnzanuyo.” Nthawi zonse muziyembekezera kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi mnzanuyo ndipo nthawi zonse pamakhala chisangalalo chachikulu.” Ngakhale kulekana kwa malo kuli ndi zofooka zake, nthawi zonse muyenera kuyang'ana mbali yowala ya zinthu, "akutero.

Zoonadi, pali zovuta ndipo zovutazo nthawi zambiri ndizo zomwe zimapha maubwenzi akutali, ngati mutaphunzira kuthana nawo moyenera, pali kuthekera kwakukulu koyendetsa patali ndi kumanga ubale wolimba, wokhalitsa. Kodi njira yoyenera yothanirana ndi mavutowa ndi iti komanso momwe mungapangire ubale wakutali kuti ugwire ntchito, mukufunsa? Chabwino, tiyeni tifufuze.

Malangizo 17 a Momwe Mungapangire Ubale Wakutali Kugwira Ntchito

Sherry, yemwe anasamuka ku UK kupita ku Canada kukagwira ntchito yatsopano zaka zitatu muukwati wake ndi wokondedwa wake wa kusekondale, Chris, akuvomereza kuti kuyenda patali, madera a nthawi, komanso ndandanda yotanganidwa kuti ubale ukhale wautali si nthabwala. Koma ngati mtima wanu uli pamalo oyenera, ndizosathekanso.  

Pogawana upangiri wake wokhudza ubale wautali kwa ena omwe ali ndi vuto lofanana ndi lake, iye akuti kupeza momwe angapangire kuti LDR igwire ntchito kumafuna kuti onse awiri azikhala ndi lingaliro limodzi pa chilichonse, kuyambira nthawi yoimbira foni mpaka mapulani amtsogolo. Kukhala ndi mgwirizano ndi gawo loyamba lopewa zolakwa zomwe maanja amachita mu LDR . Dongosolo lotsatira lofunika kwambiri la bizinesi ndikukhazikitsa malamulo oyambira kuti zinthu ziwoneke zosavuta. Mukakhazikitsa maziko abwino, chikondi chanu chakutali chingapeze njira yopitira patsogolo, ngakhale kudzera pa foni yanu (pakadali pano).

Zikumveka zosavuta mokwanira? Chabwino, zikanakhala zosavuta kuziyika zonse muzochita. Koma musade nkhawa, monga nthawi zonse timakupangirani. Kutengera upangiri wa Sherry paubwenzi wautali komanso malangizo a Geetarsh otalikirana paubwenzi, tapanga malangizo 17 oti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino ngakhale titasiyana madera.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Anyamata Amafuna Chiyani Paubwenzi Wakutali?

1. Muzilankhulana nthawi zonse

Kulankhulana kwabwino ndi chinsinsi cha ubale wabwino uliwonse koma makamaka pamene mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungapangire ubale wautali. Kuti mukhale ogwirizana m'maganizo, muyenera kumasuka kwa wokondedwa wanu za malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu. Ngati muli ndi tsiku loipa la ntchito, munthu amene mumamudalira kuti akuthandizeni ayenera kukhalapo kuti abwereze khutu, ngakhale patali.

Ngati mnzanuyo palibe, nthawi zambiri mumakhala ndi kusintha kwa maganizo. Zikatero, muyenera kugawana maganizo amenewo ndi mnzanuyo kuti musunge chikondi chamkati. Kutumizirana mameseji ndi mauthenga tsiku ndi tsiku pamodzi ndi mafoni apakanema nthawi iliyonse yomwe zingatheke kudzakuthandizani kukhala ogwirizana ndi mnzanuyo ndipo kudzachotsa mtunda pakati panu. Nazi zina zomwe mungachite muubwenzi wautali kuti musunge kulankhulana kotseguka komanso kwabwino:

• Konzani mavidiyo aliwonse kapena kuyimba foni, musadikire kuyimbira kwamwambo
• Nenani zoyembekeza zanu ndi zosowa zanu momveka bwino, limbikitsani mnzanu kuti achite zomwezo
• Yesani kusankha mafoni ambiri amawu ndi makanema kuposa mameseji
• Thandizani wina ndi mzake ndikutsimikizirana wina ndi mzake pakafunika kutero
• Khalani omvetsera mwachidwi
• Khazikitsani njira yolankhulirana yomwe ingagwire ntchito kwa nonse
• Onetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo akumvetsa zomwe uthenga wanu uli, ndipo musalole kuti kusamvana kulikonse kubweretse mavuto

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mavuto 18 Okhudzana ndi Ubale Wakutali Omwe Muyenera Kudziwa

2. Onetsetsani kuti kulankhulana kwanu kukuyenda bwino

Geetarsh amakamba za momwe kulankhulana chabe sikungathetsere mavuto anu onse, muyenera kuyang'aniranso mayendedwe omwe mumakhazikitsa. “Kulankhulana kuli ndi ma T anayi: nthawi, kamvekedwe, kachitidwe, ndi choonadi.” Muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti mumasamala za kusankha kwanu mawu ndi kamvekedwe kanu.

"Popeza simukudziwa momwe mnzanu alili, zidzakhala zovuta kuweruza momwe akumvera. Kusamvana bwino pakati pa malingaliro nthawi zambiri kungayambitse kulankhulana kolakwika kapena mikangano. Mwina mumafuna kuuza mnzanu nkhani zosangalatsa koma sanakhale ndi tsiku labwino. Mwina mukufuna kukambirana za tsogolo, koma mnzanuyo wakwiya ndipo akufuna kulankhula za ndewu yomwe inu nonse munali nayo."

Iye anati: “Yesani kuona mmene mnzanuyo akumvera potengera mmene akulankhulirana ndi inuyo n’kumvetsa chimene chinawachititsa kukhala ndi maganizo amenewa.” Ngakhale mutafuna kuuza ena nkhani zabwino, zingakhale zoopsa ngati simunayimbe nthawi yoyenera kapena ngati simugwiritsa ntchito mawu oyenerera.

Sherry anati, "Kusiyana kwa nthawi pakati pa Canada ndi UK ndikwakuti ine ndi mwamuna wanga sitilankhulana kwa maola angapo patsiku. Koma zili ndi ife zomwe timachita pa maola awiriwa - kusamala za momwe zinthu zasinthira kapena kukambirana zachikondi zomwe zimatipangitsa kumwetulira. Pazinthu zonse zomwe muyenera kuchita muubwenzi wautali, kulankhulana kogwira mtima kumakhala pamwamba pa mndandanda. Onetsetsani kuti mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yoyenera polankhulana ndi mnzanuyo. kudzakhala kosalala bwino.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 11 a Akatswiri Olankhulana Bwino ndi Mnzanu

3. Kukumana pafupipafupi momwe mungathere

Malingaliro a chibwenzi chakutali, kukopana, kulankhulana, kutumizirana mauthenga olaula, kukambirana za zenizeni za moyo—zonse zomwe mumachita kuti LDR yanu ikhale yolimba komanso yopambana zingabale zipatso pokhapokha mutapeza njira zokhalira limodzi nthawi zambiri momwe mungathere. Izi zithandiza kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba komanso kusamalira zosowa zanu zogonana . Kugonana ndi ubale weniweni ndi zinthu zoyamba kukhudzidwa muubwenzi wakutali choncho onetsetsani kuti mwakumana momwe mungathere. Ganizirani zandalama zanu ndikuonetsetsa kuti mutha kutsika ndege kapena kukwera sitima miyezi ingapo iliyonse kuti mukakumane ndi mnzanu.

Nthawi iliyonse yomwe mungathe, yesani kukumana ndi theka la tchuthi chachifupi kapena konzani ulendo wapamsewu limodzi. Nthawi zina mukhoza kupita kukaonana ndi mnzanuyo, kapena mnzanuyo akhoza kukuyenderani. Konzani zodabwitsa, ndizonso zofunika. Tikudziwa kuti izi ndizovuta pazachuma koma yang'anani ngati ndalama muubwenzi wanu.

Mukakumana ndi zosatheka, kukonzekera zonse zomwe mungachite mukadzawonana ndi mnzanuyo kungakhale chinthu chotsatira. Sherry anati: “Ndandandalika malo onse amene ndimafuna kukacheza akakhala kuno—ku CN Tower, Niagara, ndi Casa Loma.” Nthaŵi yanga yopuma, ndimayendayenda m’kati mwa tauni, kupita m’mapaki ndi kuonerera okwatirana achita misala m’chikondi, pamene ndinali kuyembekezera mwachidwi kufika kwa wokondedwa wanga.

4. Muziyembekezera zinthu zenizeni

Ndikwachibadwa kukhala ndi nkhawa, kukhudzidwa, kukwiya, kapena kudandaula chifukwa cha kusagwirizana pang'ono poyankhulana; mwachitsanzo, pamene simukulandira yankho lachangu pamalemba anu. Komabe, samalani. Angakhale akukumana ndi tsiku loipa kuntchito ndipo sangathe kukufikirani, kapena, kusiyana kwa nthawi kumakhala kovuta kwambiri.

“Ngati zikuoneka kuti mnzanu sakufuna kulankhulana, mwina chifukwa chakuti mwalephera kuyeza momwe akumvera kapena kumvetsetsa kuti akungofuna mpata,” akutero Geetarsh, ndikuwonjezera kuti, “Mwina akupita kwinakwake ndipo mwangoiwala. Mfundo ndi yakuti ndikofunikira kupatsa mnzanuyo mpata. Kungoti muli mu LDR sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala olumikizana nthawi zonse kapena kusunga kuchuluka kwa momwe mumalankhulirana.” Ngati mukufuna upangiri waubwenzi wautali, nayi mfundo yaying'ono: khalani ovomereza kwambiri ndikuwongolera zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi wanu moyenera.

5. Gwiritsani ntchito zida zina zamaubwenzi apatali

Kodi phindu la kukhala mu nthawi yaukadaulo wapamwamba kwambiri ndi chiyani ngati simukugwiritsa ntchito mokwanira? Nthawi zina, zida zolumikizirana ndi anthu kutali zingakuthandizeni kudutsa masiku ovuta kwambiri omwe simungaganizepo china chilichonse kupatula kufuna kukumbatira mnzanu.

Masiku amenewo akadzafika, mutha kusunga motowo ndi zida zanzeru. Kodi mumadziwa kuti pali nyali zomwe zimawunikira mchipinda cha mnzanu mukakhudza zanu, ngakhale zitakhala kutali ndi mailosi chikwi? Pali mphete zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva kugunda kwa mtima kwa mnzanu pa chala chanu, ndipo, bwino, zida zina zogonana zimagwiritsa ntchito mfundo yomweyo. Chifukwa chake, yambani kufufuza ndikudzipezera ochepa omwe amagwirizana bwino ndi umunthu wanu ngati banja.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ubale Wakutali Ndi Wofunika? Zifukwa 15 Zochitira Izi

6. Musamachite manyazi kutumizirana mameseji zolaula

Monga taonera kumayambiriro kwa nkhaniyi, kusowa chikondi chakuthupi nthawi zambiri ndi vuto lalikulu lomwe maanja omwe sali pamalo amodzi amakumana nalo. Ngakhale kuti silili labwino kwenikweni, kutumizirana zithunzi zolaula kungathandize kuthetsa chilakolako chimenecho, kwa kanthawi kochepa.

Pali mapulogalamu ambiri otalikirapo omwe angapangitse kuti zinthu ngati izi zikhale zolumikizana komanso zosangalatsa, koma simusowa ngakhale imodzi. Muli ndi kale mapulogalamu otumizirana mameseji pafoni yanu, zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikulemba kapena kuyimba foni ya kanema ndikuyika pambali zoletsa zanu. Ingowonetsetsa kuti simunalumikizane ndi wifi yapagulu mukatero. O, ndipo, gwiritsani ntchito chitetezo. Tikutanthauza VPN, ndithudi.

Pogawana upangiri wake waubwenzi wotalikirana wokhudza kukhalabe pachibwenzi, Sherry akuti, "Kupambana pakugonana kumachokera ku mizu yolimba yaubwenzi, ndipo ife ngati banja sitiyiwala zimenezo. Mafoni am'manja, Skype, ndi maimelo ndi zida zabwino kwambiri zomwe maanja amatha kulumikizana ngakhale atakhala limodzi. Muziuzana zomwe mukuyembekezera - pezani zithunzi za Skype kapena kupanga ma imelo nthawi zina kuti mupewe zokhumudwitsa.

7. Konzani ndikukonza mafoni anu onse amawu ndi makanema

Makamaka pamene inu awiri mukukhala m'madera osiyanasiyana nthawi, muyenera kusankha nthawi imene mungalankhule wina ndi mzake m'malo mongodikira kuyitana kwachisawawa kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu. Ngakhale zitakhala ngati mwasandulika kukhala “m’modzi mwa mabanja amene amakonza zonse osachita chilichonse chosangalatsa”, muyenera kutero ngati muli ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa momwe mungapangire ubale wautali.

Kumene, zimathandiza kupita mtunda owonjezera nthawi iliyonse ndi kulola mnzanuyo kudziwa kuti inu padera mu iwo, ngakhale mtunda. Sherry anati: “Kukhala motalikirana kwachititsa kuti chikondi chathu chiziyenda bwino kwambiri kuposa kale lonse. Chris si munthu wausiku, sakhala n’komwe n’kumandifunira tsiku lobadwa tsiku langa.

Kupatukana kwa malo kumapangitsa kulankhulana kukhala kovuta kwambiri. Ndipo ngati mutayamba kupita masiku osalankhulana chifukwa cha nthawi zotsutsana, mkwiyo umayamba kukula pang’onopang’ono. Malingaliro onga akuti, “Bwanji sanandiyimbire foni?

Popanda kulankhula bwino za nthawi yokhazikika yoimbirana mafoni, mudzapitiriza kudikira, mnzanu adzapitiriza kudikira, ndipo mudzakangana chifukwa cha mauthenga anu a WhatsApp okhudza kusapeza nthawi yokwanira yocheza. Choncho, yesetsani kupeza nthawi yocheza ndi mnzanu komanso ubale wanu.

8. Khalani ndi zolinga zofanana

Chikondi cha kutali chimakula pakapita nthawi, koma sichingakule kwambiri ngati maziko a ubale wanu ndi ofooka . Kodi nonse awiri mukukonzekera kukhalira limodzi pambuyo pa nthawi yopatukanayi? Kodi kupatukanako kuli ngati “nkhondo” kapena palibe mapeto ake?

Ndikofunikira kukhala ndi zokambiranazi ndikukhazikitsa zolinga zitatu kapena zinayi zomwe zimakonda nthawi yayitali, kupatula kufuna kukhalira limodzi mtsogolomo. Dzifunseni mafunso otsatirawa apaubwenzi apatali kuti muthe kukhazikitsa zolinga zofanana:

• Kenako timakonzekera kukhalira limodzi, koma kodi tingakonde kuti zimenezi zichitike kuti?
• Kodi timawona ana m'tsogolo lathu? Kodi timapanga bwanji kuwalera?
• Ndi moyo wamtundu wanji womwe umafuna kukhala ndi ine tikakhala limodzi?
• Kodi pali chifukwa chomwe timachikonda kwambiri ndipo tikufuna kuchita nawo limodzi ngati gulu?
• Kodi ndi zolinga zifupi ziti zimene tiyenela kudziikila kuti tikwanitse kukwanilitsa zolinga zathu zanthawi yaitali?

9. Pezani luso ndi malingaliro amasiku akutali ndi manja achikondi

Momwe mungapangire ubale wautali kuti ugwire ntchito, mukufunsa? Osachotsera udindo wa malingaliro atali mtunda wautali ndi manja achikondi. Sherry akufotokoza kuti: “Pa tsiku lathu lachikumbukiro chaposachedwapa, mwamuna wanga anabweretsa mulu wa maluwa ndi bokosi la chokoleti pakhomo panga.” Mwina munganene kuti: “Zimenezo ndi zinthu zimene umachitira wokondedwa wako wapasukulu ya sekondale monga kuphweka pang’ono.” Koma ndiyo mfundo yonse—kutsitsimutsanso nthaŵi zokomazo!

Sizovuta kulingalira momwe kukoma kokomaku kukanasungunulira mtima wake ndikupangitsa kuti amve chikondi chachikulu kwa mnzake. Ngati mukufuna kutengera malingaliro amenewo, yesetsani kuyang'ana / kuganiza za zinthu zokoma, zolingalira zomwe mungachite muubwenzi wautali. 

Popeza maubwenzi apaintaneti ndi ofala komanso osasokonezeka masiku ano, palibe chifukwa choti musapeze njira zambiri zoti mukambirane zinthu zosangalatsa komanso zinthu zina zomwe mungagwirizane nazo.

"Zinthu zoyenera kuchita muubwenzi wautali zitha kukhala zosiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe zili m'maubwenzi oyandikana nawo." Kaya ndikulankhulana pavidiyo nthawi zonse kapena kutumiza mavidiyo afupiafupi kwa wina ndi mzake komanso kulankhulana kaŵirikaŵiri, tinthu tating'onoting'ono timeneti tingapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu. Nawa malingaliro angapo omwe mungafufuze: 

• Konzani tsiku loyimba foni pavidiyo, ndikuyitanitsa phukusi lanu losamalira pa tsiku lanu
• Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi pavidiyo poyesa kuphunzira luso latsopano: kuvina, kuphika, yoga
• Khalani olumikizana wina ndi mzake pamene nonse mukugwira ntchito zanu zapakhomo
• Pangani zaluso limodzi mukamayimba pavidiyo
• Pangani chakudya chomwecho ndikudyera pamodzi
• Yang'anani kwambiri pulogalamu yanu yapa TV yomwe mumakonda

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ubale Wakutali Umagwira Ntchito?

10. Khalani wachifundo

Nthawi zina ngati munthu ali ndi sabata lotopetsa kunyumba ndikupeza mnzake wapamtunda wautali akukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi abwenzi popanda iwo, amakhumudwa, zomwe zimatha kuyambitsa ndewu. "Limodzi mwavuto lalikulu lomwe ndawonapo ndi momwe anzanga achichepere amalolera kuti FOMO ifike kwa iwo." Amaganiza kuti mnzawo ali kunja ali ndi nthawi ya moyo wawo popanda iwo, ndipo pamapeto pake amangoganiza mopambanitsa kwa maola ambiri. Ndikofunikira kuti musalole kuti izi zikufikireni, "akutero Geetarsh.

M'malo momva kuti mwasiyidwa ndikuyamba mkangano chifukwa cha zimenezo, kapena kukwiyira mnzanu chifukwa chokhala Debbie Downer chifukwa choti mukusangalala popanda iwo, yesetsani kukhala ndi chifundo muubwenzi wanu . Yesetsani kumvetsetsa komwe mnzanuyo akuchokera komanso chifukwa chake angakhale wachisoni. Dziyerekezeni nokha mumkhalidwe wawo ndipo yesani kuyang'ana mkhalidwewo moyenera.

11. Osayesa kulamulira zinthu

Sikophweka kukhala kutali ndi theka lanu labwino. Mmodzi amakonda micromanage ubale ndi kupanga zinthu m'njira yawo chifukwa cha nthawi yochepa. Musalakwitse kukhala wolamulira mwachilendo. Upangiri wofunikira kwambiri waupangiri wamaubwenzi apatali womwe tili nawo kwa inu ndikulola kuti zinthu zizichitika mwachilengedwe m'malo mozikakamiza. Zidzakutengerani nthawi kuti muzolowere mtunda. Chifukwa chake khalani oleza mtima ndi inu nokha ndi SO yanu.

Pamene mnzanu anali nanu, mwina munagwirizana komwe mungapite kukadya nkhomaliro. Mwina munasankha zovala zawo pa msonkhano womwe ukubwera. Koma ngati mupitiriza kuchita chimodzimodzi muubwenzi wautali , zingakulepheretseni kwambiri. Mwina mungayesenso kulamulira zinthu kwambiri mukaona kusintha kwa SO yanu monga munthu.

M’mikhalidwe yoteroyo, kuphunzira kukhala wokhwima maganizo ndi kusalola zinthu zazing’ono kukufikirani kudzakuthandizani kwambiri. Muyenera kusiya kumlingo wina. Mnzanuyo akakhala ndi chakudya chamasana ku ofesi yodyeramo ndipo sangathe kumamatira ku saladi yathanzi yomwe mudawapangira kunyumba. Landirani izi ndipo lekani kudandaula, ndipo mudzapeza kuti nonse mumakhala patsamba limodzi nthawi zambiri kuposa momwe mumaganizira.

12. Kukhazikitsa chikhulupiriro

Ngakhale zikuwoneka zolimba kapena zovuta bwanji kukhala kutali ndi okondedwa wanu, musawakhulupirire kapena kuyamba kutaya chikhulupiriro mu ubale chifukwa simungathe kumuwona mwakuthupi. Chikhulupiriro ndi chikhulupiriro ndizo mizati ya mphamvu mu ubale uliwonse ndipo onse awiri ayenera kuyesetsa kuulimbikitsa.

"Kudalirana ndiye chinthu chofunikira kwambiri kuti maubwenzi ambiri akutali akhalepo. Padzakhala nthawi zina zomwe mungaganize kuti sizikuyenda bwino koma simungalole kuti kusakhazikika kukulamulireni momwe mumachitira muubwenzi wanu. Musalakwitse kuwayimbira foni pavidiyo mwadzidzidzi, pofuna kuona ngati akunena zoona za komwe ali. Makamaka mukamayesetsa kuti LDR igwire ntchito ndi nthawi yosiyana, ndikofunikira kuti mubwerere m'mbuyo ndikudalira mnzanu ," akutero Geetarsh.

Polankhula za kufunika kwa kuchita zinthu mosabisa kanthu ndi kuona mtima pomanga kukhulupirirana muubwenzi wautali, Sherry anati: “Limodzi mwa malangizo ofunika kwambiri osonyeza kuti muli paubwenzi wautali ndi kukhala ndi chikhulupiriro cholimba. kwa wina ndi mzake.

"Mwachitsanzo, ndawonjezera anthu ambiri atsopano pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti nditabwera kuno. Mwamuna wanga akumvetsa kuti si chifukwa choti ndikupikisana kuti ndipeze chidwi kapena kuti ndichite zachinyengo muubwenzi wautali koma chifukwa ndine munthu wochezeka ndipo ndikufunanso kukhala ndi moyo kunja kwa ukwati wanga. Ndimauza mwamuna wanga chilichonse, ngakhale chikhale chisamaliro chowonjezera kuchokera kwa mwamuna. Chofunika ndi momwe ndimachitira ndi chisamaliro chimenecho. Mutha kukhala m'nyumba imodzi ndikunyenga mnzanu. Zonse ndi za kukhala wosamala ndi makhalidwe abwino."

Kuti mukhazikitse chidaliro mukakhala kuti simuli pafupi, kumbukirani zinthu izi:

• Akumbutseni za mapulani anu a nthawi yayitali
• Kambiranani za tsogolo lanu limodzi
• Musalole kuti malingaliro osakhazikika kapena osatetezeka asinthe
• Kambiranani zinthu modekha, kambiranani maganizo onse oipa amene mungakhale nawo, ndipo athetseni
• Khalani owona mtima

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 18 Zoyenera Kudziwa Musanayambe Ubwenzi Wakutali

13. Khazikani mtima pansi

Kutalikirana kumayesa kuleza mtima kwanu ndi kulolerana ngati palibe ubale wina. Phunzirani kukhala odekha, osonkhanitsa, komanso oleza mtima ngakhale pamene zinthu zikuwoneka ngati zovuta pakati pa inu ndi wokondedwa wanu. Zambiri mwazinthu ndi chifukwa cha mtunda, musadzitengere nokha. Chinthu chinanso chimene muyenera kuyesetsa kuti musamafulumire kuganiza.

Mukangomaliza kuyankha meseji kwa mphindi zochepa, mumayamba kuganiza kuti mnzanuyo akukunyalanyazani. Mukumva mawu a mwamuna kumbuyo pamene mwamunayo ali pafoni ndipo nthawi yomweyo mumaganiza kuti ndi chinthu choipa kwambiri. Pamene mukuganiza kuti mnzanuyo akukunamizani , mwina ndi munthu wobweretsa pizza. Khalani chete ndipo khalani oganiza bwino.

14. Lolani chikondi chikhale chitsogozo chanu

"Kodi maubwenzi apatali ndiabwino?" anafunsa Jenna, ngakhale ankaganiza zosiya mnzake, Red, basi chifukwa tsopano akuyenera kusamukira kumizinda yosiyanasiyana. Koma ndithudi, Jenna posakhalitsa anazindikira, kusiya munthu amene mumamukonda sikophweka, ngakhale ngati pali ma kilomita miliyoni pakati panu.

Pamene Jenna ndi Red adaganiza zokhala limodzi, adadziwa kuti sizingakhale zophweka kupeza momwe angapangire ubale wautali. Komabe, pa zinthu zonse zimene zingathandize kuti kuyenda kutali kukhale kosavuta, iwo anazindikira kuti chinthu chokha chimene angabwerereko chinali chikondi chimene anali nacho kwa wina ndi mnzake. Mukabwerera ku zomwe zidakubweretsani pamodzi, zikuthandizani kuthetsa mavuto anu ambiri. Kumbukirani kuti chikondi chimatha kukuthandizani kudutsa chilichonse, ngakhale mtunda wautali.

Ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti munasonkhana chifukwa mumakondana . Mukakhumudwa, ganizirani za nthawi zonse zabwino zomwe mwakhala mukuchita mpaka pano. Kapena mutha kukambirana za msonkhano wanu wotsatira ndikupanga mapulani kuti mukhale ndi choyembekezera. Chikondi ndi malingaliro amphamvu. Chimatha kusunga maanja akutali akumamatirana. Kuti ubale wakutali ugwire ntchito, muyenera kudalira.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungasungire Ubale Wakutali Padziko Lonse

15. Perekani malo okondedwa anu kuposa nthawi zonse

Pamene mukuganiza za momwe mungapangire ntchito ya LDR, pali mwayi woti kutaya malo ochulukirapo kusakaniza kungakhale pansi pa mndandanda wanu. Chodabwitsa, ndi amodzi mwaupangiri wofunikira kwambiri waubwenzi womwe tili nawo kwa inu. Mukakhala patali, ndikofunikira kupewa kupangana kumverera ngati claustrophobic. Pezani zosangalatsa zatsopano kapena zochitika kuti musangalale ndi kampani yanu. Khalani otanganidwa ndikukhala pafupi ndi anzanu popeza muli ndi nthawi. Gwiritsani ntchito mtunda uwu kuti mukule nokha.

“Anthu amavutika ndi momwe zinthu zilili,” akutero Geetarsh, ponena za momwe malo aumwini alili lingaliro lomwe limasiya maanja ambiri osasangalala, ndipo akuwonjezera kuti, “Mukamaletsa wokondedwa wanu malo abwino, pansi pa mtima, mumadziwa kuti mukulakwitsa. Simungakonde kuvutitsa mnzanu kapena kukangana, koma mungapitirize kubwereza machitidwe omwewo. Chifukwa chiyani? Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu ndi nkhani zodalirana. Lingaliro ndilakuti simuyenera kukhala ndi udindo pa mnzanu. Inde, zingamveke ngati mukulekana, koma mothandizidwa ndi kudalirana ndi ulemu, mudzazindikira kuti ubale wanu si wosinthasintha.”

Ndikofunika kukhala oleza mtima mu LDR. Ngati mnzanuyo adapita kocheza ndi anzawo ndipo sanakutumizirani mameseji mpaka 2 koloko m'mawa, zisiyeni. Mutha kukambirana nthawi zonse mawa. Mwina simukonda kwambiri kugwiritsa ntchito foni yanu mukatuluka ndi anzanu, sichoncho?

16. Khalani ndi nthawi yanu

Pamene mukupatsa mnzanu malo, ikani nthawi yomwe muli nayo kuti mugwiritse ntchito bwino ndikupeza njira yosangalalira ndi anzanu. Phunzirani zosangalatsa, tulukani ndikukhala ndi zochitika, kapena chitani chinachake chosangalatsa, ngakhale kungokhala ndi chinachake choti mukambirane ndi wokondedwa wanu nthawi ina mukadzakambirana.

Kuphatikiza apo, chinsinsi chodziwira momwe mungapulumukire ubale wautali ndikumvetsetsa kuti nonse muyenera kukula ngati munthu payekhapayekha kuti ubale ukule. Nonse mukakhwima, ubwenzi umakhwima. Chifukwa chake pitani kunja ndikukamenya anzanu omwe mwachiwonekere mwawanyalanyaza mutangolowa muubwenzi ndikuyembekeza kuti adzakubwezerani. Yakwana nthawi yoti mudzipangire moyo wabwino.

17. Yesetsani kukhala otetezeka mu ubale wanu

Mukhoza kuyesa mapulogalamu onse oti mulankhule kutali, kapena kufunsa mafunso onse okhudza ubale wanu wautali omwe mukufuna, pokhapokha ngati maziko a ubale wanu si olimba, mudzakumana ndi mavuto ambiri. Ngati nonse awiri munali ndi mavuto okhulupirirana pamene munali mumzinda umodzi, adzaphulika.

Yesetsani kulankhulana bwino kwambiri, ndipo khalani ndi ulemu, kudalirana, chifundo, kukoma mtima, ndi chikondi. Zachidziwikire, zimenezo zingakhale zosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita. Mukavutika kumvetsetsa momwe mungapangire ubale wautali kugwira ntchito, nthawi zonse mutha kulumikizana ndi gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito za Bonobology komanso aphunzitsi odziwa bwino ntchito kuti akuthandizeni kuyandikirana wina ndi mnzake, ngakhale kuti pali mtunda wautali pakati panu.

Malangizo a Momwe Mungapulumukire Ubale Wakutali

Pamene mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungapangire ubale wautali kuti ukhale wolimba ndikusunga mgwirizano pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo, ndikofunikanso kudziwa momwe msonkho ungakhalire komanso kuika patsogolo kudzisamalira. Geetarsh akutiuza kuti chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikupeza kuti mulibe ubale wanu. “Pitani ndi mabwenzi anu, pita kokasangalala ndi zinthu zopindulitsa, ndipo yesani kupeza kuti simuli paubwenzi wanu wokha.” Pamene mukukhala ndi inu nokha, m’pamenenso kudzakhala bwino,” iye akulangiza motero. Nawa maupangiri ena amomwe mungapulumukire paubwenzi wautali popanda kulola kusokoneza thanzi lanu ndi malingaliro anu:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mfundo Zitatu Zovuta Zokhudza Ubale Wakutali Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa

• Gwiritsani ntchito mtunda kuti muyang'ane pazokonda zanu, zokonda zanu, komanso kukula kwanu.
• Yang'anani pa zolinga zodzikweza zomwe zimakulitsa moyo wanu panokha
• Khalani ndi njira zolankhulirana zabwino zomwe sizikuchulutsani nthawi yanu
• Tengani kusinkhasinkha kapena kulemba zolemba kuti muthe kuwongolera malingaliro ndikuchepetsa kupsinjika
• Muzichita masewera olimbitsa thupi pafupipafupi kuti musangalale komanso kuti musamavutike patali
• Muzipeza nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu kuti mupewe kusungulumwa
• Khalani ndi dongosolo latsiku ndi tsiku kuti mukhale bata m'moyo wanu
• Pewani kuyerekeza ubale wanu ndi ena; yang'anani pa mgwirizano wanu wapadera
• Pitirizani kudzikonda nokha, monga tsiku la spa kapena chakudya chomwe mumakonda
• Muuzeni mnzanuyo za mapulani anu pasadakhale. Mutha kukonzekera kuwonera kanema ndi anzanu kapena kupita kukadya chakudya chamadzulo. Koma mnzanuyo sayenera kudziwa pamene inu muli kale pakati
• Musalakwitse kupita koyenda ndi ofesi kapena kukagwirana wina ndi mnzake
• Tumizani mphatso zangwiro nthawi zonse
• Adziwitseni za anzanu atsopano ndi anzanu. Mutha kuwawonetsanso pamacheza apakanema
• Lekani kukhala wakuphatana na wanthu omwe ambacita bzinthu mwakusaya kupenukira. Nonse mudzatopa
• Gwiritsani ntchito izi kuti mukhale odziyimira pawokha komanso odzidalira

Kuti LDR igwire ntchito, muyenera kukhala oganiza bwino komanso okhwima, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti musalole nsanje ikuwonongeni pamene mnzanuyo akupita kukasangalala ndi abwenzi awo omwe simukuwadziwa. Pewani kulakwitsa paubwenzi, yesetsani kuthandizira, ndipo onetsetsani kuti muli ndi zolinga zofanana za nthawi yayitali. Ngati simunakhalepo kwa nthawi yayitali, ndiye phindu lanji?

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Ngakhale maubwenzi apatali amabwera ndi zovuta zawo zapadera, amaperekanso mwayi wakukula, kupirira, ndi kuyamikira mozama chikondi chomwe mumagawana. Mwa kukumbatira kulankhulana momasuka, kulumikizana kwaluso, ndi kudzipereka kosasunthika, simungangopanga ubale wanu wapamtunda wautali kugwira ntchito komanso kuchita bwino momwemo.

Kumbukirani kuti ubale uliwonse ndi wapadera, ndipo zomwe zimagwira banja limodzi sizingagwire wina. Osachita mantha kuyesa, kusintha, ndikupeza nyimbo yanu. Chofunika koposa, sungani lawi lachikondi loyaka, ndikuyamikira mgwirizano wapadera womwe mumagawana nawo, ngakhale kutali.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.