Madandaulo a kugwiriridwa kuntchito si nthaŵi zonse chifukwa cha khalidwe lodetsa nkhaŵa kwambiri la kugonana. M'malo mwake, madandaulo ambiri amakhala chifukwa chosamvetsetsa gawo la chilolezo poyambitsa chibwenzi chilichonse, chomwe chimakhala chofunikira kwambiri pankhani yachikondi chapantchito. Kusadziwa zomwe siziri chilolezo nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa makhalidwe osayenera (kuphatikizapo zibwenzi mobwerezabwereza) zomwe zimachitika kawirikawiri m'maofesi, motero, sizisamalidwa kawirikawiri pokhapokha ngati madandaulo aperekedwa.
Milandu ina yoteroyo imasekedwa ndipo samailingalira mozama ndi mabwana awo, amene amalephera kumvetsetsa mmene zochitika zoterozo zimakhudzira antchito awo. Muzochitika zanga monga membala wakunja ku makomiti amkati, ndakumana ndi milandu yoseketsa (komanso mafilimu). Iwo mwina sakanaoneka ngati oseketsa panthaŵi ya kufunsa, makamaka kwa odandaula, koma tsopano popeza atha kuthetsedwa bwino, aliyense wokhudzidwa akhoza kuyang’ana m’mbuyo ndi kuseka pang’ono. Milandu yomwe munthu sangathe kumvetsetsa mawu oti "ayi", nthawi zambiri amagwera m'gulu ili.
Pamene Wina Sangopeza Zomwe Sizovomerezeka
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
The malamulo a chilolezo ndi zolunjika: pokhapokha ngati munthu atanena momveka bwino kuti 'inde' pa zomwe wina akufuna, chidwi chake sichingaganizidwe. Komabe, kukhulupirira lingaliro la kuvomereza (kudzera m'chilankhulidwe cha thupi, manja kapena kusamveka bwino, momveka bwino kuti 'ayi'), kumasokoneza izi.
Kuti ndifotokoze, ndiloleni ndikuuzeni imodzi mwa nkhani zosangalatsa kwambiri zomwe ndidakumana nazo. Apa mwamuna ankakhulupirira kuti mkazi amene ankagwira naye ntchito nayenso ankamukonda ngati mmene iye amachitira naye. Anayesa kangapo kuti amufunse za chibwenzi, koma zonse sizinaphule kanthu. Mayiyu atazindikira kuti sasiya kumufunsa, anakadandaula kuti ankamuchitira zachipongwe. Ananenanso kuti kuwonjezera pa kuchita zinthu zosayenera, amamusakasaka muofesi, panja ndi m'malo odyera. Izi, ngakhale kuti anasonyeza bwino kuti sanali kumukonda.
Pamene Komiti Yam’kati idamuitana kuti imudziwitse za madandaulowo ndi kumufunsa yankho lake, iye anakhumudwa kotheratu ndipo sanakhulupirire kuti anam’dandaulira. Iye sanakane chilichonse mwa zonenazo koma anakana kuvomereza kuti khalidwe lake linali losalandiridwa kwa iye.
Yankho lake kwa ife linali motere: “Amayi, nthawi yoyamba imene ndinamuona, ndinadziŵa kuti pali chinachake chapadera pakati pathu – ndi mmene ankandimwetulira pamene tinali kudziŵana naye.
"Kenako tsiku lina, ndinamupempha kuti akadye chakudya chamadzulo." Anati ayi, ndipo anandiuza kuti amakhala ndi makolo ake, omwe sankakonda kuti azipita kokayenda usiku, ndiye ndinamupempha kuti abwere kudzadya chakudya chamasana - adanena kuti amakonda kudya chakudya chapanyumba chokha.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 12 Zokhudza Maofesi Angakuuzeni Mavuto
Kenako patapita masiku angapo, ndinamufunsa ngati angakonde kuonera nane filimu yatsopano ya Avengers ndipo ananena kuti sankakonda kwambiri mafilimu ochita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Chotero patapita masiku angapo, pamene tinagundana m’mwamba, ndinamfunsa ngati angakonde kuwonera filimu yanthabwala. Pa nthawiyo amayi ankakana chifukwa anzake onse anali pafupi. Ndinkaona kuti anachita manyazi kwambiri. Sindinayenera kumufunsa pamaso pa anzake koma ndikukhulupirira kuti ngakhale kuti anakana ndi pakamwa, maso ake anali kunena kuti inde.”
Ngati wina akuyang'ana zitsanzo za chilolezo muubwenzi kapena ngakhale chibwenzi choyambira, nkhaniyi ikhoza kukhala chitsanzo cha buku la zomwe siziri chilolezo. Kusakhalapo kwa 'ayi' kapena kukana zomwe munthu wina akufuna, sizikutanthauza kuvomereza.
Kodi izi zikumveka zodziwika kwa inu? Kodi ndi kangati komwe tawonera zochitika ngati izi m'mafilimu aku India? Kodi Simran akuwonetsadi kwa Raj kuti amamukonda asanabwere ku India? Kuchokera m'mafilimu monga Darr ndi Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa kupita ku Tere Naam ndi Badrinath ki Dulhaniya, Bollywood yalemekeza lingaliro lakuti ngati mutayesetsa mokwanira, ndiye kuti. "ek din, haseena maan jaayegi" (tsiku lina, mtsikanayo adzayankha kuti inde). Kapena kukulimbikitsani kuti mupitirize kuyesera chifukwa "uski na mein hai haan” (akunena kuti ayi, koma akutanthauza kuti inde).
Tsoka ilo, POSH Act ikunena mosiyana. Khalidwe lotereli lingapangitse anthu kukhala okhumudwa kwambiri, ndipo ngakhale izi sizikuwoneka ngati 'zogonana' mopambanitsa, kukondana kobwerezabwereza komanso kosavomerezeka kumagwera pansi pa tanthauzo la nkhanza zogonana, chifukwa zimapangitsa kuti ntchito ikhale yovuta.
Udindo wa Chivomerezo: Ayi Akutanthauza AYI
Nthawi zina ngati zimene ndafotokozazi, timaona anthu amene satha kumvetsa kapena kulephera kuvomereza kuti akukanidwa kapena sadziwa momwe angachitire. thana ndi kukanidwa. M'madera ena, timawona kuti ngakhale kukana momveka bwino kumanyalanyazidwa. Pankhani ina, mwamuna wina wogwira ntchito kusukulu anadandaula za mkazi wogwira naye ntchito amene, atasonyeza kuti amamukonda ndi kuuzidwa kuti sanachitepo kanthu, ankamuimbira foni ndi kumutumizira uthenga mosalekeza.
Anapitilizabe kutero ngakhale atamuuza kuti amusiye, kulephera kuletsa nambala yake. Popeza kuti sakanatha kumupewa kuntchito, anafunsa mnzake (wogwira naye ntchito wina) kuti amuuze kuti asiye kumuvutitsa. Panthawiyi, bwenzi lake linayamba kuyimba foni ndipo (poyesera kumukhumudwitsa) kumuuza kuti mtsikanayo wadwala matenda ovutika maganizo ndipo adadwala kwambiri chifukwa adasweka mtima.
Zikatero, zimakhala zovuta kuthetsa vutoli popanda kulowererapo kwakunja. Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti malamulo a chilolezo amagwira ntchito zonse ziwiri ndikukhala chimodzimodzi, mosasamala kanthu za jenda.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Nkhanza Zogonana ndi Amuna Ndi Mitundu Yake
Kuvomereza? Chilolezo chanji?
Iwalani malingaliro omveka bwino kapena kuvomereza, pali nthawi zina pomwe munthu sadziwa kwenikweni za lingaliro la kuvomereza yokha. Ndipamene timawona zochitika zomwe anthu sasamala za kukana nkomwe, popeza safuna chilolezo komanso samakhulupirira kuti pali cholakwika ndi khalidwe lawo.
Nthawi ina, azimayi angapo adadandaula kuti mnzawo wamwamuna amangowayang'ana. Kwa ichi yankho lake linali lakuti sanali kuwagwira manja ndi kuwaletsa kugwira ntchito; iye sanali kunena kalikonse kwa iwo, kapena ngakhale kuyembekezera kubwezedwa kanthu, ndiye akadakhala akuwavutitsa bwanji?
Ankanena kuti akhoza kuyang’ana ndi maso ake aliyense kapena chilichonse chimene akufuna. Pamene Komiti Yam’kati idayesa kufotokoza kuti kuyang’ana munthu nthaŵi zonse kukhoza kuwapangitsa kukhala osamasuka kwambiri, iye anafunsa ngati kungathetse vutolo ngati atavala magalasi adzuŵa muofesi!
Chifukwa Chiyani Malamulo a Chilolezo Ndi Ofunika?
Ndafunsidwa chifukwa chake anthu amapanga "nkhani yaikulu" pazinthu zazing'onozi pozifotokozera ku Komiti ya Internal monga madandaulo a zachipongwe kuntchito. Yankho langa ndiloti kuvomereza ndi kulemekeza ndi malingaliro omwe anthu sakuyenera kuwamvetsa bwino, ndipo mpaka patakhala kusintha kwa kamvedwe ka anthu, nkhanizi sizingathetsedwe ndi munthu payekha.
“Ayi” samatanthauza “mwinamwake nthaŵi ina” kapena kuti munthu amachita manyazi kapena kuchita manyazi kufunsidwa pamaso pa ena. Zikutanthauza kuti alibe chidwi. Kuvomereza sikumatanthauzidwanso ndi kukhala chete kwa wina. Pamene kukanidwa mobisa komanso mowonekera kulephera, kuchitapo kanthu mwachangu kumafunika. Tawonapo zochitika pamene munthu amasiya kutsata mnzake wina akakanidwa, kuti ayambe kuchita chimodzimodzi ndi mnzake wina. Mchitidwe woterewu womwe umayambitsa kusapeza bwino kwa ogwira ntchito ambiri, sungathe kunyalanyazidwa ndi bungwe.
Palinso kusiyana koyenera kupangidwa pakati pa khalidwe lotereli lomwe likuchitika pa moyo waumwini ndi kuntchito. Pali zoletsa zingapo kuntchito zomwe zimakulepheretsani kukana zomwe anzanu akukufunsirani ndikuyika pachiwopsezo chochita mwano mukakanidwa mwaulemu - chifukwa chokhala pansi, kugwira ntchito zomwezo komanso kumuwona munthu ameneyo tsiku lililonse, zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kufunsa wina kuti abwerere! Pali chiyembekezo chowonjezera kuntchito kuti mukhale otetezeka komanso omasuka kuti mutha kuyang'ana kwambiri zokolola.
Nthawi ina mukakhala ndi a kuphwanya mnzako ndipo mukudabwa ngati mukuyenera kusuntha kapena ayi, kusewera ndi malamulo ovomerezeka kungapangitse kuyenda movutikira komanso malire aukadaulo kukhala kosavuta. Nayi kubwereza mwachangu pazomwe kuvomereza sikuli:
1. Amapereka zifukwa zodzikhululukira kuti asacheze ndi inu nokha
2. Amakhala otanganidwa nthawi zonse koma amakhala ndi nthawi yokwanira kwa ena
3. Akuti AYI
Kulemba madandaulo okhudza kuchitiridwa zachipongwe sikutanthauza kuti mudzawononga ntchito ya munthu wina.
Nthawi zambiri, anthu amakonda kukhala chete ngakhale kupita patsogolo kwa wina kumawapangitsa kukhala osamasuka chifukwa sakufuna kuwononga ntchito ya munthu wina. Komabe, mabungwe akamati ali ndi lamulo loletsa kulekerera zomwe sizikutanthauza kuti aliyense wopezeka ndi mlandu wogwiririra adzathetsedwa.
Lingaliro lolakwika ili limapangitsa kuti pakhale nkhani zochepa ngati izi zomwe zimawonekera. Lamulo la POSH cholinga chake ndi kukhazikitsa malo ogwirira ntchito otetezeka komanso omasuka kwa ogwira ntchito onse, ndipo udindo wa Komiti Yam'kati ndi kuletsa komanso kukonza machitidwe otere.
Choncho, zochitika ngati zomwe tazitchula pamwambapa, zimayesedwa kutengera zinthu monga momwe zimakhudzira, kubwerezabwereza ndi cholinga, kapena kumvetsetsa momwe izi zimakhudzira ena. Kulanga kumalimbikitsidwa ngati khalidweli ndi lovuta kwambiri kapena ngati pali nkhani zazing'ono, zodzitetezera, kulimbikitsana ndi uphungu zikulephera. Chofunikira kwambiri ndichakuti musavutike mwakachetechete.
FAQ: Udindo wa Chivomerezo pa Zokonda Zapantchito
1. Kodi kuvomereza n’chiyani, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika m’nkhani zachikondi za kuntchito?
Kuvomera ndi “inde” wachimvekere, wachisangalalo ku zilakolako zachikondi zilizonse. Sizingaganiziridwe mwakukhala chete, kuyankhula ndi thupi, kapena kusowa kwa "ayi" momveka bwino. Ndikofunikira kwambiri chifukwa zibwenzi zakuntchito zimasokonekera chifukwa cha mphamvu komanso maubwenzi apantchito, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale kofunika kwambiri kuwonetsetsa kuti onse ndi omasuka komanso ofunitsitsa kutenga nawo mbali.
2. Kodi “ayi” angatanthauze china chilichonse kusiyapo “ayi” pachikondi cha kuntchito?
Ayi. “Ayi” nthawizonse amatanthauza “ayi.” Sizingatanthauzidwe kuti “mwina pambuyo pake,” “yesetsani kwambiri,” kapena “Ndikungosewera molimbika kuti ndipeze.” Kupita patsogolo kosalekeza pambuyo pa "ayi" momveka bwino kumatanthauza kuzunzidwa.
3. Ndi zitsanzo ziti za makhalidwe omwe sali ovomerezeka?
- Kuchita zibwenzi mobwerezabwereza ngakhale kuti akukanidwa.
- Kutengera chidwi cha wina potengera kumwetulira kapena kuyang'ana.
- Kutsatira munthu mozungulira kapena kumuzembera pantchito.
- Kunyalanyaza kukanidwa momveka bwino ndikupitiriza kufunafuna wina.
- Kuyimba kapena kutumizirana mameseji mosalekeza atafunsidwa kuti asiye.
- Kuyang'ana munthu nthawi zonse, ngakhale popanda kumukhudza kapena kumulankhula mawu.
Kungoti ndidamupsopsona mnyumba mwake sizikutanthauza kuti ndakonzeka...
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