M'dera limene Bollywood imasonyeza chikondi nthawi zambiri imasokoneza mgwirizano, zimakhala zofunikira kuthetsa maganizo olakwika omwe chikhalidwe chodziwika chimalimbikitsa. "Kodi chikondi chimatipatsa ufulu wonyalanyaza chilolezo? Ayi, ngakhale Bollywood itanena choncho!" ikuyang'ana nkhani zowononga zomwe zimafalitsidwa ndi kanema wa Chihindi zomwe zimasonyeza kuti "ayi" ya mkazi ndi chiyambi chabe cha kugonjetsa kwa mwamuna. Kupyolera mu diso lazokumana nazo zaumwini komanso kusanthula mozama, nkhaniyi yolembedwa ndi Ankita Anand ikuwunika zovuta za kuvomereza ndi kufanana mu maubwenzi. Imatsutsa njira zachikale zaulamuliro wa amuna ndi ukazi wopanda pake, kulimbikitsa kusintha kwa kulemekezana ndi kulankhulana moona mtima. Pamene tikusanthula mauthenga osocheretsa a m'mafilimu a Bollywood, tikutsimikiziranso kuti kuvomereza sikungakambirane, ndipo chikondi chenicheni sichiposa kufunikira kwa mgwirizano.
Kodi ndi kufanana ngati akadali mwamuna amene amasankha kupempha chilolezo?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Panthawi yokondana kwambiri, pamene ndinaganiza kuti ine ndi mnzanga amene tinakhala naye kwanthaŵi yaitali tinali pa tsamba limodzi, anaima kaye n’kundifunsa kuti, “Uli bwino, chifukwa sindikufuna kukugwiririra.” Ndinakhumudwa kwambiri ndi zomwe zinkawoneka ngati zachipongwe. "Zowona, ndili bwino nazo, kapena sibwenzi nditakhala chete mpaka pano."
Ndinazindikira kuti anali kuyesetsa kuchita zoyenera. Komanso sindimakhulupirira kuti "ayi" kuyenera kutsagana ndi zochitika zina zakuthupi monga gawo la Taekwondo. Kuti zimveke ndi kuvomerezedwa, ayi siziyenera kunenedwa m'mawu enaake kapena kamvekedwe kake.
Kuti zimveke ndi kuvomerezedwa, ayi siziyenera kunenedwa m'mawu enaake kapena kamvekedwe kake.
"Ndikukusiya chifukwa ndine munthu wabwino"
Koma zimene ananena zinaoneka kukhala zosokoneza kalilole wonyenga wa unansi wofanana mbali ndi mbali. Zinkawoneka ngati ndingakhale ndi bungwe, koma anali ndi mphamvu - lingaliro lochirikizidwa ndi chikhalidwe chodziwika kudzera mu kanema wa Chihindi
M'mafilimu awa, ndawonapo dziko la "heroes" pakona yolemera, "owononga" akazi a mumzinda m'malo obisika ndikuwapangitsa kuzindikira kuti ngwazi zikadatha kugwiririra akazi omwe anali otere koma osatero chifukwa ndi momwe amuna analili abwino. Zitatha izi, akaziwo ankaphunzira phunziro lawo n’kukhala m’malo mwawo kwa nthawi yonseyi.
Kuwerenga kofanana: Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani ngati ndimakonda munthu amene sandikonda?
Udindo wa amayi ndi wongokhala
Zimandibwezera ku vuto langa la mawu onyoza , omwe amamveka ngati amuna onse ali ndi luso lochitira nkhanza amayi ndi alongo awo, ndipo omwe satero ndi amuna akhalidwe labwino. Akazi alibe gawo loti achite; ayenera kugona pansi chilichonse chomwe chingawachitikire.
Filimu ya 2015 NH10 ikuyesera kukhala yapadera ndikutsutsa lingaliro ili. M'menemo, wochita sewero wamkulu komanso wopanga Anushka Sharma akulimbana kuti ateteze mkazi wina, iyemwini, ndi mnzake. Ndinaonera filimuyi mu bwalo la zisudzo, ndipo kusasangalala komwe idabweretsa mwa amuna omwe anali mu holo kunaonekera bwino chifukwa cha kunyoza kwawo pamene Anushka akuyesera kuchotsa mawu oti "randi" (mawu onyoza hule) m'chimbudzi cha anthu onse kapena akuwoneka kuti ali pafupi kugwidwa ndi amuna omwe akuwopseza kuti amugwiririra ndi kumupha. Ana a anthu awa amapita ku multiplex kuti akasangalale, kuti akaone masewero achiwawa omwe angawapangitse kumva kuti ndi amphamvu mokwanira kuti apirire Lolemba lomwe likubwera. Ndipo kuwona mkazi "m'malo mwawo" sikuwapangitsa kukhala osangalala; ayi, zimenezo zimapangitsa kuti kumapeto kwa sabata lawo mukhale odekha.
Zotsatira za kafukufuku wa 2014 wochitidwa ndi Geena Davis Institute on Gender Media sizinadabwitse, pomwe mafilimu aku India anali pamwamba pa nkhani yokhudza kugonana kwa akazi. Mwamuna wina waku India ku Australia adapulumuka mlandu pomwe loya wake adatsutsa kuti kasitomala wake adakhudzidwa ndi mafilimu aku India, omwe amatsutsa nthano yakuti ayi ya mkazi ndi nkhani yongopeka yomwe imafuna kuzunzidwa, kunyozedwa ndikutsutsidwa kuti inde. Nyimbo monga " Neela dupattapeela suti . ." kuchokera mufilimu ya 1997 ya Hamesha kapena " Appun bolatu meri . . ." yochokera kwa Josh wa chaka cha 2000 ili ndi mawu oti kukana kwa mkaziyo kuyenera kuwerengedwa ngati kuvomereza. Ndipo kuti akazi akakamize akazi kuti inde iyi kapena kunyalanyaza ayi yawo, anthu achimuna ali ndi chilolezo chogwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo zonse zenizeni kapena zongopeka pa akazi omwe sakuyenera kukhala nawo.
Mtolo uli pa amuna okha
Lingaliro la chilolezo limeneli limasokonezanso kufanana mwa njira ina poika udindo wopempha amuna okha. Posachedwapa ndinakumana ndi wophunzira wapakoleji amene anavomereza kuti kukambitsirana kwaposachedwapa ponena za kuvomereza kunampangitsa iye kuzindikira kuti ataledzera pa mapwando, anali ndi liwongo la kupsompsona amuna popanda kuwapempha. Mnzanga wina wazaka chikwi anandiuza kuti pamene chibwenzi chake chinam’funsa asanapsompsone, anakwiya chifukwa chakuti mawu ake ooneka ngati othandiza anawononga mkhalidwe wachikondi. Ali m'njira yopita ku malo ogulitsa mankhwala, mnzangayo atandifunsa momveka bwino ngati ndimakonda mtundu wina wa makondomu, ndikukumbukira kuti ndidachita bwinja. Ndidamva kuti china chake sichinachitike ngati chimenecho chinali kuyankha kwanga kwachibadwa kwa mwamuna wokhala ndi malingaliro ofanana pa chikhumbo ndi chisangalalo cha mkazi.
M’mafilimu n’zofala kuti mwamuna azinena momveka bwino chikhumbo chake, pamene mkazi ankamwetulira mwakachetechete, kutembenuza maso ake, ndi kupukusa mutu. Uthenga umene ukuperekedwawo ndi wakuti ngati atavomera zimene mwamunayo wapempha ndiye kuti akungofuna kukwaniritsa zofuna za mwamunayo komanso zimene iyeyo akuona kuti ndi udindo wake.
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Kodi "chikondi" chimakupatsani ufulu wonyalanyaza chilolezo?
Ndinaganizira kwambiri nkhaniyi ndipo ndinamva kuti atolankhani otchuka atilimbikitsa kwambiri pa nkhani ya chikondi osati kukambirana za kugonana kotetezeka komanso kogwirizana. M'mafilimu monga Jagga Jasoos (2017), Tanu Weds Manu (2011) ndi Life in a Metro (2007), amuna omwe akutsogolera akuti asintha kuchoka pa kukhala anthu odzikuza kukhala anthu odzikuza komanso odzikuza. Komabe, nawonso amalandira chiphaso chotsogolera kuti apsompsone akazi omwe akuwatsata pamene akaziwa ali m'tulo ndipo alibe mphamvu zovomereza kapena kukana chilolezo chawo. Palibe paliponse m'nkhaniyi pomwe khalidweli limanenedwa kuti ndi lovuta, chifukwa zatsimikizika kale kuti zochita za amuna sizimayendetsedwa ndi "chilakolako" koma ndi "chikondi chenicheni".
Nzosadabwitsa kuti 60 peresenti ya amuna pafupifupi 9000 omwe adafunsidwa ku India ndi International Centre for Research on Women adavomereza kuti adachitirapo nkhanza akazi awo nthawi ina. Ndipo lipoti la WHO la 2015 linapeza kuti India inali ndi chiwerengero chachikulu cha mimba zosafunikira padziko lonse lapansi (17.1 peresenti).
Kuwerenga kofanana: Kugwiririra pa chibwenzi: Kodi ndi chiyani ndipo mankhwala osokoneza bongo ogwiririra pa chibwenzi ndi chiyani?
Osafuna, osafunsa
Zochitika ngati zimenezi zimasonyezanso chifukwa chake kupempha chilolezo kuyenera kuonedwa ngati udindo wa onse awiri. Filimu yaifupi ya wotsogolera wa ku India Paromita Vohra , The Amorous Adventures of Megha ndi Shakku , imagwira ntchito yabwino kwambiri pokhazikitsa izi. Imalimbikitsa akazi azaka zosiyanasiyana kusiya khalidwe lawo, (kugwirizana kwa manyazi ndi kusayenerera ndi lingaliro la mkazi wolankhula chilakolako chake) ndipo imawalimbikitsa kulankhula momasuka kuti inde, ayi ndipo mwina, monga momwe zingakhalire.
Filimu ya 2016 ya Lipstick Under My Burkha ikuwonetsanso momwe anthu aku India amayesetsa kupewa chilakolako ndi chilolezo kuchokera kwa akazi. Mfundo yakuti filimuyi idayenera kumenya nkhondo yolimba yolimbana ndi kuletsa, pomwe mafilimu omwe akazi amawonetsedwa ngati ogwiritsidwa ntchito ndi amuna amawonetsedwa mosavuta ndi bungwe loona za mafilimu, ikuwonetsa tsankho la amuna ndi akazi lomwe limapezeka m'makampani opanga mafilimu aku India.
Kuvomereza kumadula njira zonse ziwiri
Monga momwe mwamuna samayenera kukhala nthawi zonse kuti afunse mkazi kapena kuyitanitsa chibwenzi, mkazi akhoza kukhala woyamba kufunsa ngati ali bwino nazo.
Monga momwe mwamuna samayenera kukhala nthawi zonse kuti afunse mkazi kapena kuyitanitsa chibwenzi, mkazi akhoza kukhala woyamba kufunsa ngati ali bwino nazo.
Ndipo ngati onse akuganiza kuti ayenera kufunsa, palibe amene angawone kunja kwa ziwonetsero za chibwenzi. Izi zithanso kusokoneza malingaliro achinyengo, ndi owopsa, momwe zilili zamwano, kapena zonyansa kwa amuna kukana akazi. (Nthawi ina ndinawona wina yemwe adafotokoza zachinyengo chake monga gawo la khalidwe lake labwino, momwe anali wochenjera kwambiri kuti asakane kutsogoleredwa ndi mayi.)
Kuvomerezana kuyenera kuzikidwa pa ulemu kwa aliyense amene ali pafupi nafe, poganizira momwe timachitira zinthu ndi wina ndi mnzake. Sikuyenera kudalira amene angasonyeze mphamvu zambiri pazochitika zinazake kapena kusonyeza luso lalikulu polimbana nazo. Tikamanena kuti sitingaphwanye wina , ziyenera kukhala zofanana ndi kunena kuti sitingathe, chifukwa timachita mantha kwambiri tikaganizira zimenezo. Makanema ambiri achihindi akufunikabe kuphunzira izi.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Sindinavomereze zambiri. Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndi funso ili m'mutu mwanga kuti amuna omwe 'angakulekeni' osakugwirirani ali ndi mwayi angatchule bwanji 'amuna abwino'. Mfundo yakuti ngakhale ganizo linadutsa m’maganizo mwawo n’loopsa kwambiri!
Ndanena izi ndikukhulupiriranso kuti kuvomereza kumagwira ntchito ziwirizi. Munthu sanganene nthawi zonse anyamata ndi abambo.