Ndi kukwera kwa kayendetsedwe ka #metoo ndi zokambirana zokhudzana ndi nkhanza zokhudzana ndi kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mitu monga chilolezo chakhala chikuwonjezeka m'zaka zaposachedwa. Anthu aphunzira kufunikira kopempha chilolezo, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale malo otetezeka, omasuka kwa aliyense wokhudzidwa.
Kupempha chilolezo m'chipinda chogona n'kosavuta monga kunena "kodi ndili ndi chilolezo chanu?" kapena "Kodi izi zili bwino?". Zimapangitsa onse awiri kukhala otetezeka, ndipo, chofunika kwambiri, palibe amene angamve kuti akuphwanyidwa.
Koma chimachitika ndi chiyani ngati palibe wa inu apempha chilolezo? Ndibwino kupitiriza? Kodi mawu osalankhula amawerengedwa ngati chilolezo?
Tiyeni tipeze zonse zomwe tikuyenera kudziwa za kuvomereza ndi malingaliro a akatswiri kuchokera Elsa Marie D'Silva, woyambitsa wa Red Dot Foundation ndi Chitetezo, nsanja yomwe imapatsa mphamvu anthu kuti athetse nkhanza zokhudzana ndi kugonana ndi kugonana, komanso loya wa Supreme Court Siddhartha Mishra.
Kodi Njira Yolondola Yofunsira Chivomerezo Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Poganizira ngati pali njira yolondola yofunsira chilolezo, katswiri Elsa Marie akuti zimatengera nkhaniyo. “Mungathe kufunsa munthu amene ali patsogolo panu momveka bwino kuti, ‘Kodi mukuona bwanji zimenezi?’, ‘Kodi mungakonde kupitiriza?’, ‘Kodi mungakonde kutero nane?’ Popempha chilolezo, n’kofunika kunena mosapita m’mbali, momasuka, ndiponso momveka bwino.
Loya wa khoti lalikulu, Siddhart Mishra, akufotokoza njira 'yolondola' yopempherera chilolezo. "Chilolezo chogonana nthawi zonse chimafotokozedwa momveka bwino - sipayenera kukhala funso kapena chinsinsi. Chete si chilolezo. Ndipo chilolezo sichimangofunika nthawi yoyamba mukakhala ndi munthu wogonana naye. Okwatirana omwe adagonana kale kapena omwe akhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali amafunikanso kuvomereza asanagonane - nthawi iliyonse. Aliyense akhoza kukhala wozunzidwa, mosasamala kanthu za jenda lawo, chilakolako chawo chogonana, kapena zaka zawo."
Kupempha chilolezo si njira yovuta yomwe iyenera kuganiziridwa. Ndikosavuta monga kufunsa mafunso omwe ali pamwambapa ndikuwonetsetsa kuti onse awiri akumva otetezeka pankhaniyi. Pochita izi, mudzakhala mukukonza kulumikizana pakati pa inu awiri. Monga momwe Elsa adanenera, "inde" yomveka bwino ndiyo njira yokhayo yodziwira kuti muli ndi chilolezo. Koma bwanji za zizindikiro zosagwiritsa ntchito mawu?
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Kodi zizindikiro zopanda mawu ziyenera kuganiziridwa kuti ndizovomerezeka?
Nthawi zina, munthu m'modzi akhoza kukhala ndi malingaliro olakwika kuti pali chilolezo chifukwa pali zidziwitso zabwino zomwe zimaperekedwa.
Pazimenezi, Elsa akuti, “Kulankhula kopanda mawu kungakhale kunyenga kwambiri. Zimasiyananso malinga ndi chikhalidwe ndi chikhalidwe.
Zitsanzo za chilolezo chosagwiritsa ntchito mawu ndi monga kugwedeza mutu, kuyambitsa zogonana kapena kuseka kapena kumwetulira. M'nyengo yotentha, izi zikhoza kuwoneka ngati zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za kuvomereza, koma monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana zingakhale ndi matanthauzo osiyanasiyana pazochitika zina.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chikondi Chogwirizana Pantchito: Mutha Kunyalanyaza Chilolezo Popanda Kudziwa
"Kuvomereza kumatanthawuza kuvomereza mwamphamvu kugonana ndi wina. Kuvomereza kumadziwitsa wina kuti kugonana ndi kofunidwa. Kugonana popanda chilolezo ndi kugwiriridwa kapena kugwiriridwa. Popanda kupereka chilolezo chogonana pogwiritsa ntchito chitsimikizo chapakamwa, mudzakhala pachiopsezo," akutero Siddhart.
Kodi kupempha chilolezo kumawononga mtima?
Achinyamata ambiri nthawi zina amapewa kupempha chilolezo chifukwa amaopa kuti chingawononge ubwenzi ndi malingaliro. Anthu ena amalephera kupempha chilolezo, pa nthawi yovutayi, pachifukwa ichi. Pachifukwa ichi, Elsa akunena kuti kupempha ndi kukhazikitsa chilolezo kungathandize kuti maganizo akhale abwino, osati kuwapha. Komanso, mumadziika pachiwopsezo mukapanda kupempha chilolezo. Kupempha chilolezo sikuyenera kuonedwa ngati chinthu chomwe chimagwira ntchito ngati choletsa.
Iye anati: “Ngati kupempha chilolezo kukuwonongerani maganizo, ndiye kuti mukuwononga maganizo a munthu mmodzi.” Koma bwanji ponena za munthu winayo?
“Pamene pali chilolezo, onse aŵiri amakhala omasuka, kulola mpata kaamba ka chisangalalo chowonjezereka. akufunsa Elsa, akumatsutsa kuti kupempha chilolezo kumangopanga malo osangalatsa, otetezeka kuposa kukhala okayikira.
Kodi ndi bwino kupitiriza ngati chilolezo sichinakhazikitsidwe?
“Ayi, sikuli bwino,” akutero Elsa, popeza kupanda chilolezo sikungakhululukidwe.
"Pamene palibe mnzanu amene akupempha chilolezo, mungakhale mukudzitsegulira mlandu mtsogolomu. Muyenera kudziwa zotsatira zomwe zingatsatire. Monga momwe mulili ndi ufulu, anthu ena ali ndi ufulu. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti sakuphwanyidwa, khalani ndi chizoloŵezi chopempha chilolezo," akuwonjezera.
Zochitika zotheka zomwe zingachitike pamene chilolezo sichinatsimikizidwe momveka bwino chimachokera ku kusamvetsetsana kupita ku zifukwa zazikulu.
“Zitha kukhala zosamveka bwino muubwenzi mpaka pamene wapalamula, pamene waphwanya thupi ndi ufulu wa munthu popanda chilolezo,”
akuti Elsa
Kuti athane ndi izi, Elsa akuwonetsa kuti aliyense asinthe momwe amaonera ubale. "Pali magawo awiri a ufulu ndi malingaliro omwe akukhudzidwa. Sizingakhale munthu m'modzi yemwe amayang'anira ndikungonyalanyaza ndikunyalanyaza malingaliro, ufulu, ndi ufulu wa wina."
Choncho, pamene palibe amene akupempha chilolezo, zimasiya mpata wa kusamvetsetsana kangapo, zifukwa zazikulu, ndi kuphwanya ufulu. Zingayambitsenso ubale wankhanza m'tsogolomu. Kuonetsetsa kuti palibe amene akumva kuti ali pachiwopsezo mchipinda chogona, kupempha chilolezo ndikofunikira kwambiri ndipo sikunganyalanyazidwe muzochitika zilizonse.
Kodi Pali Mkhalidwe Womwe Chilolezo Sichovomerezeka?
Tsopano popeza tadziwa kufunika kopempha chilolezo, kodi pamakhala nthawi yomwe chilolezo choperekedwa sichingakhale chovomerezeka? Elsa akutiuza kuti pali zochitika zingapo ngati izi.
Elsa anati: “Palibe chilolezo chogonana ngati winayo ali ndi zaka zosakwana 18. Simungagonane ndi mwana n’kunena kuti munavomereza.
“Mwachitsanzo, ngati munthuyo ali woledzera kwambiri ndipo satha kupanga zosankha zogwirizana, ngati atamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, ali ndi vuto linalake la maganizo, ndiye kuti kuvomereza n’kosathandiza,” akuwonjezera motero.
Elsa amatiuzanso kuti chilolezo chikapezedwa ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi mphamvu pa mnzakeyo sichingakhale chovomerezeka. “Simungagwiritse ntchito udindo umene muli nawo kukakamiza munthu wina kuti avomereze. Munthu winayo anganene kuti inde mokakamizidwa, osaona kuti palibe njira ina yothetsera vutolo. Kuvomereza si chinthu chokhacho ayi, komanso kumakhudzana ndi mphamvu zanu ndi munthu wina zimene ziyenera kufufuzidwa.”
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kuvomerezana Ndi Chiyani Pachibwenzi?
Nkhani ya wopanga mafilimu waku America Harvey Weinstein ndi chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri cha mphamvu zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito molakwika pokakamiza kugonana. Mu 2017, azimayi opitilira khumi ndi awiri adadzudzula Harvey Weinstein chifukwa chogwiriridwa komanso kuzunzidwa, zomwe tsopano atha kukhala m'ndende zaka 140. Panthawiyi, amayiwo adanena kuti adawakakamiza kuti azichita zachiwerewere powatsimikizira kuti adzapatsidwa mwayi wochita masewera olimbitsa thupi.
malingaliro Final
Pokhazikitsa kufunika kopempha chilolezo, Elsa akutikumbutsa kukayikira mwaŵi wathu. "Tsiku lililonse timayenera kukayikira za mwayi wathu komanso malingaliro athu oti tili ndi ufulu. Tiyenera kusintha momwe timachitira ndi anthu kuti tiwonetsetse kuti sitikuphwanya zinsinsi za munthu wina, ufulu, kudziyimira pawokha, komanso kukhumudwitsa malingaliro ndi malingaliro awo."
Kuvomereza mu maubwenzi sikuyenera kukhala kovuta. Ndi zophweka ngati kufunsa mnzanuyo funso losavuta osati kumukakamiza kuti ayankhe. Chilolezo chikakhazikitsidwa, palibe chotsalira chodetsa nkhawa. Kupatula kuchita zogonana zotetezeka, ndithudi.
Ibibazo
Ngati wina sapereka chilolezo, chiwerewere chilichonse chotsatira chimatengedwa ngati chosavomerezeka ndipo chikhoza kugawidwa ngati kugwiriridwa kapena kugwiriridwa. Zochita zosagwirizana zimatha kubweretsa zotsatira zoyipa zamalamulo, kupwetekedwa mtima, komanso zotsatira za nthawi yayitali zamaganizo kwa wozunzidwayo. Ndikofunikira kuyimitsa ndikuwonetsetsa kuti chilolezo chikuperekedwa musanachite chilichonse chapamtima.
Kupempha chilolezo ndikofunikira chifukwa kumatsimikizira kuti onse omwe akuchita nawo zogonana amakhala omasuka, ofunitsitsa komanso akudziwa zomwe zikuchitika. Chivomerezo chimalimbikitsa kukhulupirirana, ulemu, ndi kulankhulana momasuka, zomwe ndi mbali zofunika kwambiri za maubwenzi abwino. Kuphatikiza apo, kulandira chilolezo chodziwikiratu kumateteza anthu ku zovuta zomwe zingachitike ndilamulo komanso kuvulazidwa.
Kuvomereza mwakachetechete kumatanthauza kulingalira kuti wina akuvomera kuchita zogonana potengera kusamukaniza mawu kapena mawu osalankhula, monga kuyankhula ndi thupi kapena manja. Komabe, kuvomereza mwakachetechete si chilolezo chovomerezeka. Chilolezo chowona chiyenera kufotokozedwa momveka bwino, momveka bwino, mwamawu kapena kudzera muzochita zotsimikizirika. Kukhala chete kapena zochita zosamveka siziyenera kutanthauziridwa ngati kuvomereza.
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