Zifukwa 15 Zenizeni Zomwe Mkazi Wanu Amapeŵera Ubwenzi

“N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?” “Bwanji mkazi wanga sagona nane? Kodi maganizo ngati amenewa amakupangitsani kukhala maso usiku? Eya, sikuli bwino kwa ukwati wanu kapena thanzi lanu lamaganizo ngati mkazi wanu amapeŵa ubwenzi. Ngakhale kuti mwachibadwa kusonyeza chikondi paubwenzi kumasintha pakapita nthawi komanso kuti chilakolako chosalamulirikacho chiziyenda bwino, m’modzi wosafuna kugonana akhoza kusokoneza mgwirizano wa okwatiranawo.

Ambiri mwa okwatirana sachita zachiwerewere tsiku lililonse. Komabe, malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , kugonana pakati pa okwatirana kumasiya kuwala kwa nthawi yokwanira (nthawi yokhutira ndi kugonana) komwe kumawathandiza kukhala ogwirizana m'maganizo mpaka nthawi ina. Kugonana kobwerezabwereza, kuwala kwa nthawi yofanana, komanso ukwati wolimba.

Kotero, ngati mukukhala ndi maganizo akuti mkazi wanu amapewa chibwenzi mwadala, mwina ndi nthawi yoti mufufuze mozama chifukwa chake zili choncho komanso zomwe mungachite kuti mukonze vutoli. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mkazi wanu wasiya chilakolako chogonana, pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed.), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu waukwati ndi mabanja.

Kodi Mkazi Wanu Sakufuna Kugonana?

Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sagona nane? Dziwani kuti nthawi zonse pamakhala zifukwa zomveka zimene zimachititsa mkazi wanu kukana zilakolako zanu zogonana. Kutsika muubwenzi kungabwere chifukwa cha zinthu zingapo monga,

• Maudindo owonjezereka
• Kusintha zinthu zofunika kwambiri
• Kusintha kwachilengedwe komanso kwathupi
• Mavuto a ubale
• Mgwirizano wofowoka wamalingaliro
• Matenda aakulu
• Kukhala pa mankhwala enaake
• Kusintha kwa moyo

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti kugonana pafupipafupi si chizindikiro chabwino ngati palibe zinthu monga kukhutira ndi kugonana komanso ubale wabwino pakati pa okwatirana. Ngakhale zili choncho, sizophweka kulimbana ndi lingaliro lakuti, "Mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi ndipo sayankha zomwe ndikufuna." Ndipo mutha kunyalanyaza vuto ili m'chipindamo kwa nthawi yayitali lisanawononge thanzi lanu la maganizo komanso ubale wanu. Ndicho chifukwa chake mukangozindikira kuti mkazi wanu wakhala akupewa kukhala nanu pachibwenzi, ndikofunikira kufufuza chifukwa chake zili choncho.

Gopa akuti, “Mkazi angayambe kupewa chibwenzi ngati mwamuna wake sakudziwa kapena kuvomereza zosowa zake. Zimenezi zingachitike chifukwa cha kusalankhulana bwino, kusamvetsetsana, kapena kungomvetsa molakwika zomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wake akuganiza. Choncho, moyo woipa wogonana usanayambe kuwononga chisangalalo chanu cha m’banja, ndi nthawi yoti mukambirane moona mtima ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.”

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N'chifukwa Chiyani Mkazi Wanga Sachita Chidwi Ndi Ine? Zifukwa 15 Zomwe Amapeŵera Kugwirizana

“Mkazi wanga amakana kugonana. N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufunanso kugonana nane?” Unyinji wa amuna okwatira amakhala ndi malingaliro osautsa ameneŵa, nthaŵi zina kwa zaka zambiri. Pamene kuli kwakuti ena akupitirizabe kunyengerera ndi kusonkhezera okwatirana kuti “asangalatse,” ena amalolera tsogolo lawo ndi kukhala pamtendere ndi moyo wopanda njala ya kugonana kapena kufunafuna zokhutiritsa kwina.

Komabe, kunyalanyaza nkhaniyo kapena kuyipondaponda sikungathetse. Njira yabwino kwambiri ndiyo kuvomereza vutolo ndi kuyesetsa kumvetsa chifukwa chimene mkazi wanu akuchitira zinthu kutali. Tiyeni tiwone zifukwa 15 zomwe zimachititsa kuti mkazi wanu asakhale ndi chilakolako chogonana komanso njira zothetsera vutoli:

1. Kusowa kugwirizana maganizo m'banja

Kwa akazi ambiri, chilakolako chogonana chimayamba chifukwa cha chikondi kwa okondedwa awo. Gopa anati: “Amuna amatha kukangana ndi akazi awo n’kumakanganabe ndi akazi awo ndipo amangokhalira kuwakonda mpaka mapeto a tsiku.” Komabe, akazi sizigwira ntchito mwanjira imeneyi. Izi ndi zomwe zikuchitika m'banja lanu:

• Mkazi wako amapewa ubwenzi chifukwa kunyalanyaza maganizo m’banja zimamuvuta kugonja ku zilakolako zake za kugonana
• Kukangana pafupipafupi komanso kukangana kwafooketsa mgwirizano pakati panu
• Angaipidwe ndi mmene mumachitira naye, choncho sangafunenso kukhala nanu
• Ngati pali kusiyana kwa kulumikizana, sangakhale womasuka kufotokoza zosowa zake ali pabedi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kugonana kusakhale kosangalatsa kwa iye.

Zoyenera kuchita

Kumanga ndi kusunga ubale wapamtima ndikofunikira, osati pa moyo wogonana wokhazikika komanso paumoyo wonse waubwenzi. Ngati wokondedwa wanu sakufuna kugonana nanu, pangani malo otetezeka kuti azitha kukhala pachiwopsezo ndikufotokozera zakukhosi kwawo kwa inu, khalani ndi nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake, perekani malo okwanira ngati pakufunika, ndipo musabisire nkhani zaubwenzi kuti mupewe ndewu.

2. Simukumupatsa zofuna zake zogonana

Mumadzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakundifuna?” Koma kodi mwaganizapo kuti mwina ndinu amene wachititsa zimenezi? Ngati kugonana ndi kwa inu nokha ndipo simukufuna kumuthandiza kapena kufufuza njira zowonjezerera kugonana kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, sizodabwitsa kuti mnzanuyo sangafune kuchita zimenezi.

Zikatero, kudandaula kuti, “Mkazi wanga sandifuna kugonana” n’kosathandiza. Kupatula apo, mavuto azaumoyo aamuna monga kukanika kwa erectile, kutayika kwa libido, kapena kutulutsa msanga umuna nthawi zambiri kumakhala cholepheretsa kuti musangalatse mkazi wanu.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mukukayikira kuti zofuna zake zogonana sizinakwaniritsidwe ndi chifukwa chomwe mukusiyidwa kuti, "Mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi ndipo sabwezeranso zomwe ndikufuna", ndi nthawi yoti mukonze.

• Yang'anani pang'ono ndikuwona momwe mwakhazikitsira mu chisangalalo chake
• Khalani ndi zokambirana zosasangalatsa ndipo mufunseni chifukwa chake akuwoneka kuti alibe chidwi chokhala ndi inu
• Mufunseni zomwe amakonda, perekani zosowa zake, khalani ndi zowonera zambiri
• Tengani nthawi kuti muphunzire njira yanu kuzungulira thupi lake
• Fufuzani chithandizo cha maanja kapena pitani kwa andrologist - chitani zomwe zimafunika kuti mkazi wanu asakufuneni

3. Kugonana ndi chizolowezi komanso chonyowa

Si chinsinsi kuti kugonana mukatha ukwati kumakhala kotopetsa, makamaka ngati palibe mnzawo amene akuyesetsa kuti chilakolako cha kugonana chikhale choyaka. Ngati zokumana nazo zanu zogonana sizikusangalatsani kapena mwasiya kuyang'ana matupi a wina ndi mnzake, kuyesa njira zatsopano zogonana kapena njira zowonjezera chisangalalo, kugonana kosasangalatsa komanso kodziwikiratu kungakhale chifukwa chake mkazi wanu amapewa kukondana.

Kusakonda kugonana komanso kusaoneka bwino kwa thupi kumabweretsa chilakolako chochepa chogonana. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti kuchepa kwa zochita zogonana kumachitika makamaka chifukwa cha kusowa chisangalalo komanso thanzi lofooka la thupi lomwe limakhudzana ndi ukalamba kwa amuna ndi akazi.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati ichi ndi chifukwa chomwe chimachititsa kuti mukakamizike kuti “chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sagona nane”, pali chiyembekezo kuti mutha kusintha zinthu pokometsera nthawi yanu yapamtima. Umu ndi momwe:

• Yesetsani kuti zinthu zikhale zosangalatsa komanso zosasangalatsa pakati pa mapepala kuti mkazi wanu asathe kukukanizani
• Mutha kuyesa sewero, kuvala mokopa, kapena kupanga mawonekedwe osangalatsa ndi fungo labwino ndi makandulo kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro oyenera.
• Funsani mnzanuyo ngati angafune kukumana ndi zosiyana pabedi
• Kumugwira mosayembekezereka nthawi zina kumakhala kovutitsa kwambiri

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4. Watopadi

“Azimayi masiku ano ali ndi zinthu zambiri, kukwaniritsa ntchito zapakhomo ndi zantchito kungathe kuwafooketsa, kuwasiya opanda mphamvu zochitira chiwerewere, chifukwa chokhalira limodzi ndi okondedwa awo amayamba kumva ngati ntchito ina,” akutero Gopa. Mwinamwake, kupanda chidwi kwa mkazi wanu kukhala paubwenzi ndi inu kulibe chochita ndi inu kapena mkhalidwe wa unansi wanu.

Pamene mukuganiza kuti "N'chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana ndi ine?", mwina akuda nkhawa ndi nthawi yomaliza ya ntchito, magulu oti ayang'anire, ana oti aleredwe, zakudya zophika, maulendo oyendayenda, ndi zinthu zina biliyoni. Mwachibadwa, malingaliro ogonana amapita kumbuyo.

Zoyenera kuchita

Chifukwa chachikulu ichi chomwe chimachititsa mkazi wanu kupeŵa chibwenzi chingathetsedwenso mosavuta.

• Mutha kusintha moyo wanu wakugonana pogawana nawo katundu wake komanso kukhala okhudzidwa kwambiri pakuyendetsa banja
• Muziona kuti mkazi wanu ndi wapadera ndi manja okoma monga kumupezera maluwa kapena mphatso zazing'ono, kumvetsera kwa iye ndi chidwi chonse, kumuphikira chakudya, ndi mawu oyamikira tsiku lililonse
• Musangalatseni ndi tsiku la spa kapena mupite naye kutchuthi kuti aphwanye chisangalalo ndikumupatsa mpumulo womwe umamuyenera

5. Chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sagona nane? Akhoza kukhala akukunyengani

Ngati kusowa chidwi ndi kugonana kudabwera mwadzidzidzi ndikukudabwitsani, mwina chifukwa chakuti mkazi wanu akukunyengani. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , kudzipereka kumakhudzana kwambiri ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana kwa mkazi. Ngati malingaliro ake ndi zilakolako zake zogonana sizikwaniritsidwa muukwatiwu, akhoza kusokonekera. Mwachidule, akangokwaniritsa zosowa zake zogonana kwina, sadzakhala ndi chifukwa chofuna kukhala nanu paubwenzi.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati pachitika vuto lomwe mkazi wanu sayambitsa kugonana chifukwa choti akuchita chibwenzi chakunja kwa banja , muyenera kuthana nalo mosamala. Zotsatira za chibwenzi sizimakhala zosavuta paukwati. Nonse muyenera kukhala oona mtima kuti muthetse mavuto anu a ubale ndikubwezeretsa chikondi ndi chidaliro muukwati wanu. Kupita ku chithandizo cha maanja kungakuthandizeni kwambiri. Kuti mudziwe, maupangiri a Bonobology nthawi zonse amakhalapo kwa inu.

6. Mkazi wako wakhala akuzindikira thupi lake

Nchifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga alibe chidwi ndi ine zogonana, mukudabwa? Gopa ali ndi yankho pavuto lanu, "Azimayi amazindikira kwambiri za matupi awo, ndinali ndi makasitomala ochepa omwe anali ndi mwana ndipo zimandivuta kuti ndiyambenso kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi awo chifukwa sanalinso omasuka ndi matupi awo.

“Mkhalidwewo ukhoza kuipiraipira ngati mwamuna anena mawu osaganizira kapena opweteka ponena za maonekedwe ake.” Ngati mumnyozetsa ndi kunyozetsa chidaliro chake, nkovuta kuona chifukwa chake mkazi wanu amakana kukhala wapamtima. Tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa kugwirizana pakati pa chikhumbo chake chochepa ndi kusintha kwa thupi, kotero kuti mumamumvera chisoni kwambiri:

• Ukwati, kukhala ndi pakati, ndi kubereka, limodzi ndi kusintha kwa matupi a m’thupi pa magawo osiyanasiyana a moyo, ndi zina mwa zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti thupi liziyenda bwino. zifukwa zomwe akazi amanenepa ndipo zimawatumizira kudzitama kwawo
• Kukhala wosamasuka pakhungu lawo ndi chifukwa chofala chomwe amayi amasiya kukonda kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi awo
• Ukalamba ukhoza kukhala ndi chikoka chofananacho pa thupi la mkazi zomwe zimamupangitsa iye kudzimva kukhala wosakhudzika kapena wachigololo

Zoyenera kuchita

Tsopano popeza mukudziwa kuti ichi chingakhalenso chifukwa chomwe mkazi wanu samayambitsa chikondi kapena ubwenzi wamtundu uliwonse, muyenera kukhala thanthwe lake ndikumutsimikizira kuti mumaganizabe kuti ndi wokongola ngati tsiku limene munakumana naye koyamba. Kuyamikira pang'ono kungamuthandize kukhala wodzidalira komanso wachinyamata pamtima. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakhala akukumana ndi vutoli pambuyo pa mimba, muyenera kukhala mwamuna wothandizira ndikumuthandiza pakusintha kumeneku.

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7. Maudindo a m'banja ndi nkhani zina zingakhale zikumudetsa nkhawa

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadziuza kuti, “Mkazi wanga sakufuna kuti ndigone naye”, ganizirani izi: chibadwa chake chokhalira ndi ana chimasamutsa chidwi chake ku banja ndi ana, ndipo izi zingakhudze malo amalingaliro omwe amakupatsirani komanso ubale wanu wogonana. Ngati pali mavuto ena monga mavuto azachuma kapena ubale wovuta, kupsinjika maganizo kungakhale kupha chilakolako chake cha kugonana. “ Ukwati wabwino umatanthauza kuthandiza mnzanu . Ngati simukuchita zimenezo, mudzatha kukumana ndi mavuto monga kusowa kugonana komanso kulumikizana kwamaganizo,” akutero Gopa.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati moyo wakuponyerani mpira wokhotakhota, muyenera kuphunzira kuthana nawo. M’malo motaya mtima kaamba ka chenicheni chakuti mkazi wanu sayambitsa chikondi kapena ubwenzi, chitanipo kanthu ndi kugawana nawo mtolo wake wamalingaliro. Muuzeni kuti mwabweza naye, ziribe kanthu kuti muli ndi vuto lotani. Thandizani poyesa kupeza njira zothetsera mavuto omwe akhala akumulemetsa. Izi zidzathandiza kwambiri kubwezeretsa mtendere wake wamaganizo ndikubwezeretsanso chilakolako m'chipinda chanu

8. Sakukondwera ndi kusowa kwanu kwaukhondo

Nthawi zina, yankho la chifukwa chake mkazi wanu amakana kukhala wapamtima likhoza kukhala kuti mwasiya kudzisamalira komanso kudzikongoletsa. Ganizirani za nthawi imene munali pachibwenzi. Mwinamwake, munapita mtunda wowonjezera kuti mumuvekerere, muwoneke bwino, mununkhize bwino, ndikukhala odzikonzekeretsa poyembekezera kuchitapo kanthu.

Tsopano popeza mwakwatirana ndipo mwakhazikika muukwati, mwina mwayamba kuziona ngati zinthu zosavuta. Khalidwe lotayirirali ndi limodzi mwa mavuto akuluakulu kwa akazi . Likhoza kukhala chifukwa chomwe mkazi wanu amapewa kukondana, makamaka kukambirana kapena kuulula malingaliro ake ogonana kwa inu.

Zoyenera kuchita

Choncho, ngati simukumbukira nthawi yomaliza imene munaululira nsalu musanagone kapena kudzikonzekeretsa nokha kwa mkazi wanu, ndi nthawi yoti musiye kukhala ngati slob. Yambani kusamba madzulo, kuvala cologne kwa iye, ndipo, chofunika kwambiri, sungani zinthu bwino komanso zaukhondo pansi apo.

9. Kuvutika maganizo kapena matenda a maganizo

Ngati nthawi zonse mumadzifunsa chifukwa chake mkazi wanu sayambitsa chikondi kapena kusonyeza chidwi chilichonse pa chibwenzi, mvetsetsani kuti mavuto azaumoyo angakhudze chilakolako cha kugonana cha munthu. Mwachitsanzo, kuvutika maganizo komanso mankhwala omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pochepetsa chilakolako cha kugonana, zingakhudze chilakolako cha kugonana cha munthu. Pepala lofufuza linanena kuti zochitika zoopsa zakale komanso zovuta pakukhazikitsa maubwenzi nthawi zambiri zimakhudza chilakolako cha kugonana cha akazi. Malinga ndi kafukufuku yemweyo, chilakolako chochepa chogonana chimagwirizana ndi kuvutika maganizo ndipo kusowa chilakolako ndi chisangalalo ndi zizindikiro za nkhawa.

Poyankha funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?”, Gopa anati: “Mwachionekere, ngati munthu akumva kufooka ndi kupsinjika maganizo, sangafune kuyanjana ndi ena; adzafuna kudzipatula.

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Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mukuganiza kuti mkazi wanu ali ndi vuto la maganizo kapena akuvutika ndi vuto lina la thanzi la maganizo, nkhani yakuti “mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi” iyenera kuchotsedwa. Choyamba, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri pakumuthandiza kuthana ndi mavuto ake a thanzi la maganizo. Izi ndi zomwe mungachite.

• Pezani thandizo loyenera la akatswiri
• Khalani tcheru, musamutchule mawu olakwika amalingaliro kapena ngati mukufuna chidwi
• Gwirani dzanja la mnzanu panthawi yamavutoyi ndipo nthabwala zogonana zibwerera akatulukamo, ali wamphamvu komanso wathanzi.

10. Mavuto aakulu azachipatala

Monga momwe zilili ndi thanzi la maganizo, thanzi labwino la thupi ndilofunikanso kuti akazi azimva ngati ali ndi chilakolako chogonana. Pamene mukulephera kugona chifukwa choganiza kuti sakukondaninso , mkazi wanu akhoza kukhala akulimbana ndi matenda ena omwe sanadziwike, omwe akumupangitsa kuti azilakalaka kugonana.

Matenda achikazi monga endometriosis, PCOS, PCOD, uterine fibroids, kuuma kwa nyini, ndi ululu wa m'chiuno zingapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuti amayi azisangalala ndi kugonana. Komanso kusintha kwa mahomoni pa nthawi yomwe ali ndi pakati komanso kuyamwitsa kapena kusintha kwa msambo kungakhudze chilakolako cha mkazi chogonana.

Zoyenera kuchita

Kuwona OB-GYN koyambirira ndikofunikira ngati mukukayikira kuti vuto linalake likhoza kuchititsa kuti mkazi wanu asakhale ndi chilakolako chogonana. Kumbukirani, zimatenga nthawi kuti mikhalidwe yotereyi ichiritsidwe (kapena kusamalidwa). Pokhapokha pamene chidwi chake chogonana chidzayambiranso. Muyenera kudekha naye.

11. Ana akhala patsogolo

Greg, mmodzi wa oŵerenga athu a ku Long Island anatiuza kuti: “Mkazi wanga samandikhudzanso.” Zinthu zasintha kuchokera pamene tinakhala ndi mwana,” Greg, mmodzi wa oŵerenga athu a ku Long Island anatiuza kuti: “Popeza ameneyu ndi mwana wathu woyamba, sindikudziŵa n’komwe chimene chiri chachibadwa ndi chimene sichili bwino.

Ngakhale kuti ndi yokhutiritsa, kukhala mayi ndi vuto losatha. Mkazi aliyense ali ndi njira yake yolandirira udindo umenewu, ndipo kwa ena, umakhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri pa moyo wawo, kutenga malo ambiri amaganizo, mphamvu, zinthu zakuthupi, ndi nthawi. Mkazi wanu mwina nayenso wakhala akutanganidwa kwambiri ndi kulera ana kotero kuti ubale wake ndi inu wayamba kusokonekera. Izi zingamupangitse kukhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wosaganizirana , zomwe zimapangitsa kuti asamagonane.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati ana ali chifukwa chimene mkazi wanu samayambitsa chikondi, muyenera kusonyeza kufunika kwa ubwenzi wapamtima pakati pa okwatirana kaamba ka ukwati wachimwemwe, wathanzi. Mwina angamvetse kufunika kokhala wosamala pakati pa udindo wake monga mayi ndi mkazi. Komanso, chofunika kwambiri, ngati mwakhala mukutsalira m'nyumba mwanu ndi ntchito za makolo, ndi nthawi yoti mutenge ndikumasula malo m'maganizo ndi m'moyo wake kuti athe kuganiza malingaliro achigololo.

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12. Ngati mkazi wanu sakufunanso zogonana, zitha kukhala chifukwa chakukwiyira

"Ngati pali mkwiyo muukwati , umadziwonekera ngati kusowa kugonana ndi ubwenzi. Posachedwapa ndagwira ntchito ndi kasitomala yemwe anali wokwiya kwambiri ndi mwamuna wake kotero kuti sankafuna kuti amugwire, osatinso kukhala pachibwenzi. Pakakhala kusagwirizana ndi kulumikizana komwe kumabweretsa mkwiyo, udaniwo udzaonekera, ndipo kusowa kugonana muukwati ndi chizindikiro chimodzi chokha," akutero Gopa.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati kusowa kwa kugonana m'banja mwanu ndi chifukwa cha chakukhosi, izi ndi zomwe mungachite: 

• M’malo molola maganizo okhumudwitsa monga akuti, “Mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi. kapena “Mkazi wanga safuna kusiya, kodi ine sindine woyenera kwa iye?”, zimakusokonezani, yesetsani kuganizira nkhani yaikulu imene imayambitsa mkwiyo pachibwenzi chanu.
• Moona mtima ndi momasuka kambiranani zofuna za wina ndi mzake zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe
• Ikani ndalama zambiri m’banja mwanu ndipo musamatengere mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mosasamala

13. Wasiya kukudalira

Ngati mwakhala wosakhulupirika kwa iye ndipo iye akudziwa za izi, n'zoonekeratu chifukwa chake mkazi wanu sayambitsa chikondi kapena ubale wapamtima ndi inu. Mwina simunayesere kubwezeretsa chidaliro chake mutachita chinyengo kapena kuthana ndi zotsatira za kusakhulupirika mwanjira yoyenera. Izi zamupangitsa kukhala kutali ndi iye komanso kudzipatula, zomwe zingayambitse kuchepa kwa ubale wapamtima.

Pamene mukudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?”, mwina akudandaula chifukwa chimene sanali wokwanira kwa inu. Chigololo sichinthu chokhacho chomwe chimachititsa kuti anthu asamakhulupirirena. Chibwenzi chamalingaliro, chinyengo chazachuma, kapena kubisa china chake chachikulu zitha kukhala zopweteka zomwe zingayambitse kudalirana muubwenzi. 

Gopa akufotokoza kuti: “Kubera ndi kusaona mtima kungawononge thanzi la ubwenzi.” Ululu, kupwetekedwa mtima, kusakhulupirirana kumachititsa okwatirana kukhala osiyana.

Zoyenera kuchita:

Kupanda ubwenzi kumakhala vuto lachiwiri muzochitika ngati izi. Chofunika chanu chiyenera kukhala kulimbitsanso chikhulupiriro muubwenzi.

• Ngati mkazi wanu akuwoneka kuti sakudalirani, bwererani mmbuyo kuti muone pamene munalakwitsa kwambiri moti sangakukhulupirireninso.
• Ngati palidi chibwenzi, chithetseni nthawi yomweyo ndipo musonyeze mkazi wanu kuti ndinu wodzipereka kwambiri kuti banjali liziyenda bwino. 
• Ngati mwasiya kukukhulupirirani mwanjira ina, sungani zolakwa zanu, kambiranani naye momasuka, ndipo mutsimikizireni kuti zonse zidachitika kale.
• Mwina chithandizo cha maanja ena chingathandize kumanganso chikondi pambuyo pa kuwonongeka kwa maganizo

14. Kukhumudwa pambuyo pa mimba kungakhale chifukwa chosafuna kugonana

Ngati mumangodzimvera chisoni nthawi zonse chifukwa cha "mkazi wanga sangandigwire", ganizirani kukhumudwa pambuyo pa mimba ngati chifukwa chotheka. Kubereka ndizochitika zosintha moyo zomwe sizimangokhala zovuta pathupi la munthu komanso malingaliro ake. Pafupifupi amayi onse obadwa kumene amakumana ndi zomwe zimatchulidwa kuti 'mwana wabuluu' - kumva chisoni mwadzidzidzi pambuyo pobereka, kuphatikizapo kusinthasintha kwa maganizo ndi kukwiya, pakati pa zizindikiro zina.

Nthawi zina, izi zimatha kukulirakulira mpaka kukhala ndi vuto la maganizo pambuyo pobereka, lomwe ndi chifukwa chofala chomwe mkazi wanu amapewa kukondana. Komanso, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuvulala m'mimba, kusadziletsa mkodzo, komanso kupweteka kwa kugonana chifukwa cha kutopa pang'ono zimakhudzanso kuchepa kwa chidwi cha mkazi pa kugonana.

Zoyenera kuchita:

Kupanda chidwi ndi kugonana pambuyo pobereka si chinthu chomwe mungathe - kapena muyenera - kuchiza. Nthawi zambiri, ndi gawo lomwe limadutsa. Mpaka pamenepo,

• Musayese kumukonza, ingokhalani naye
• Onetsetsani kuti mkazi wanu akupuma mokwanira komanso akudya bwino
• Kukhudza kwaumunthu ndi kukambitsirana kwapamtima kungachiritse kwa iye
• Yang'anirani zizindikiro zilizonse za postpartum depression

15. Simungathe kumpatsa nthawi

Mwina mwatanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito yanu kapena ndi anzanu komanso abale anu moti simukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi mkazi wanu. Mkazi aliyense amafunika chisamaliro kuchokera kwa mwamuna wake . Kusamupatsa nthawi yokwanira komanso chikondi kumabweretsa mtunda pakati pa banja. Zotsatira zake, mungadzipeze mukudandaula kuti, “Mkazi wanga sakufuna kuti ndigone naye.”

Zoyenera kuchita:

Mutha kukhazikitsa zinthu kutsogoloku pokonzekera masiku apadera nditchuthi chaching'ono kuti nonse muzitha kuyang'anana wina ndi mnzake komanso ubale wanu popanda kuda nkhawa ndi ntchito, ndalama, ana, ndi zina. Komanso, m’malo modikira kuti mkazi wanu ayambe, mukhoza kukonzekera zonse ndi kumusonyeza nthawi yabwino.

“N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?” chingakhale chodabwitsa chothetsa nzeru. Mwachionekere, pali zifukwa zambiri zimene mkazi angalephere kukhala paubwenzi ndi mwamuna wake. Ngakhale zina mwazifukwa zimatha kuchotsedwa ndi njira yoyenera komanso malingaliro abwino, zina zitha kuwononga ubale wonse. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, yesetsani kuchita zonse zimene mungathe ndipo gwirani ntchito limodzi ndi mkazi wanu kuti muyambitsenso ukwati wanu. Tikukhulupirira, tsopano mukudziwa zoyenera kuchita. Zabwino zonse!

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Meyi 2023. 

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.