Zifukwa 15 Zenizeni Zomwe Mkazi Wanu Amapeŵera Ubwenzi

“N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?” “Bwanji mkazi wanga sagona nane? Kodi maganizo ngati amenewa amakupangitsani kukhala maso usiku? Eya, sikuli bwino kwa ukwati wanu kapena thanzi lanu lamaganizo ngati mkazi wanu amapeŵa ubwenzi. Ngakhale kuti mwachibadwa kusonyeza chikondi paubwenzi kumasintha pakapita nthawi komanso kuti chilakolako chosalamulirikacho chiziyenda bwino, m’modzi wosafuna kugonana akhoza kusokoneza mgwirizano wa okwatiranawo.

Ambiri mwa anthu okwatirana sachita zogonana tsiku lililonse. Komabe, malinga ndi a phunziro, kugonana pakati pa okwatirana kumasiya kuwala (nthawi yosangalala) yomwe imawapangitsa kukhala ogwirizana mpaka nthawi ina. Kugonana kochulukira kumapangitsanso kuwala kwamphamvu, ndipo m'pamenenso ukwati ukhale wolimba.

Choncho, ngati mukukhala ndi maganizo akuti mkazi wanu amapewa chibwenzi dala, ingakhale nthawi yofufuza mozama chifukwa chake zili choncho komanso zomwe mungachite kuti muthetse vutoli. Tabwera kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mkazi wanu wasiya chidwi ndi kugonana, pokambirana ndi psychotherapist Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed.), amene amagwira ntchito pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi mabanja.

Kodi Mkazi Wanu Sakufuna Kugonana?

Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sagona nane? Dziwani kuti nthawi zonse pamakhala zifukwa zomveka zimene zimachititsa mkazi wanu kukana zilakolako zanu zogonana. Kutsika muubwenzi kungabwere chifukwa cha zinthu zingapo monga,

• Maudindo owonjezereka
• Kusintha zinthu zofunika kwambiri
• Kusintha kwachilengedwe komanso kwathupi
• Mavuto a ubale
• Mgwirizano wofowoka wamalingaliro
• Matenda aakulu
• Kukhala pa mankhwala enaake
• Kusintha kwa moyo

Studies kusonyeza kuti kuchuluka kwa kugonana kochulukira sikumakhala chizindikiro chabwino ngati palibe zinthu monga kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana komanso ubale wabwino pakati pa okwatirana. Ngakhale zili choncho, n’kovuta kulimbana ndi maganizo akuti, “Mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi ndipo salabadira zimene ndamuuza.” Ndipo mutha kunyalanyaza njovu iyi mchipindamo kwa nthawi yayitali isanawononge thanzi lanu komanso ubale wanu. N’chifukwa chake mukaona kuti mkazi wanu akupewa kukhala nanu pachibwenzi, m’pofunika kufufuza chifukwa chake zili choncho.

Gopa limati: “Mkazi angayambe kupeŵa ubwenzi ngati mwamuna wake sakuzindikira kapena kuvomereza zosoŵa zake.” Zimenezi zingachitike chifukwa cha kusalankhulana bwino, kusamvetsetsana, kapena kungotanthauzira molakwa zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wake akuganiza.” Chotero, moyo woipa wa kugonana usanayambe kuwononga chisangalalo cha ukwati wanu, ndi nthaŵi yolankhulana moona mtima ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.

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N'chifukwa Chiyani Mkazi Wanga Sachita Chidwi Ndi Ine? Zifukwa 15 Zomwe Amapeŵera Kugwirizana

“Mkazi wanga amakana kugonana. N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufunanso kugonana nane?” Unyinji wa amuna okwatira amakhala ndi malingaliro osautsa ameneŵa, nthaŵi zina kwa zaka zambiri. Pamene kuli kwakuti ena akupitirizabe kunyengerera ndi kusonkhezera okwatirana kuti “asangalatse,” ena amalolera tsogolo lawo ndi kukhala pamtendere ndi moyo wopanda njala ya kugonana kapena kufunafuna zokhutiritsa kwina.

Komabe, kunyalanyaza nkhaniyo kapena kuyipondaponda sikungathetse. Njira yabwino kwambiri ndiyo kuvomereza vutolo ndi kuyesetsa kumvetsa chifukwa chimene mkazi wanu akuchitira zinthu kutali. Tiyeni tiwone zifukwa 15 zomwe zimachititsa kuti mkazi wanu asakhale ndi chilakolako chogonana komanso njira zothetsera vutoli:

1. Kusowa kugwirizana maganizo m'banja

Kwa akazi ambiri, chilakolako chogonana chimayamba chifukwa cha chikondi kwa okondedwa awo. Gopa anati: “Amuna amatha kukangana ndi akazi awo n’kumakanganabe ndi akazi awo ndipo amangokhalira kuwakonda mpaka mapeto a tsiku.” Komabe, akazi sizigwira ntchito mwanjira imeneyi. Izi ndi zomwe zikuchitika m'banja lanu:

• Mkazi wako amapewa ubwenzi chifukwa kunyalanyaza maganizo m’banja zimamuvuta kugonja ku zilakolako zake za kugonana
• Kukangana pafupipafupi komanso kukangana kwafooketsa mgwirizano pakati panu
• Angaipidwe ndi mmene mumachitira naye, choncho sangafunenso kukhala nanu
• Ngati pali kusiyana kwa kulumikizana, sangakhale womasuka kufotokoza zosowa zake ali pabedi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kugonana kusakhale kosangalatsa kwa iye.

Zoyenera kuchita

Kumanga ndi kusunga ubale wapamtima ndikofunikira, osati pa moyo wogonana wokhazikika komanso paumoyo wonse waubwenzi. Ngati wokondedwa wanu sakufuna kugonana nanu, pangani malo otetezeka kuti azitha kukhala pachiwopsezo ndikufotokozera zakukhosi kwawo kwa inu, khalani ndi nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake, perekani malo okwanira ngati pakufunika, ndipo musabisire nkhani zaubwenzi kuti mupewe ndewu.

2. Simukumupatsa zofuna zake zogonana

Mumadzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane? Koma kodi munalingalirapo za kuthekera kwakuti inuyo mungakhale chifukwa chake? Ngati kugonana kumakukhudzani inu ndipo simukuvutikira kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zake kapena kufufuza njira zochitira onjezerani foreplay, n’zosadabwitsa kuti mnzanuyo sangafune kuchitapo kanthu.

Zikatero, kudandaula kuti, “Mkazi wanga sandifuna kugonana” n’kosathandiza. Kupatula apo, mavuto azaumoyo aamuna monga kukanika kwa erectile, kutayika kwa libido, kapena kutulutsa msanga umuna nthawi zambiri kumakhala cholepheretsa kuti musangalatse mkazi wanu.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mukukayikira kuti zofuna zake zogonana sizinakwaniritsidwe ndi chifukwa chomwe mukusiyidwa kuti, "Mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi ndipo sabwezeranso zomwe ndikufuna", ndi nthawi yoti mukonze.

• Yang'anani pang'ono ndikuwona momwe mwakhazikitsira mu chisangalalo chake
• Khalani ndi zokambirana zosasangalatsa ndipo mufunseni chifukwa chake akuwoneka kuti alibe chidwi chokhala ndi inu
• Mufunseni zomwe amakonda, perekani zosowa zake, khalani ndi zowonera zambiri
• Tengani nthawi kuti muphunzire njira yanu kuzungulira thupi lake
• Fufuzani chithandizo cha maanja kapena pitani kwa andrologist - chitani zomwe zimafunika kuti mkazi wanu asakufuneni

3. Kugonana ndi chizolowezi komanso chonyowa

N'zosachita kufunsa kuti kugonana pambuyo pa ukwati kumakonda kukhala kotayirira, makamaka ngati palibe amene amayesetsa kuti chilakolakocho chiziyaka. Ngati zochitika zanu zogonana zilibe chisangalalo kapena mwasiya kuyang'ana matupi a wina ndi mzake, kuyesera maudindo atsopano ogonana kapena njira zopezera chisangalalo, kugonana kotopetsa, kodziwikiratu kungakhale chifukwa chomwe mkazi wanu amapewa kugonana.

Monony ndi kusakhala bwino kwa thupi kumabweretsa chikhumbo chochepa chogonana. Studies amasonyeza kuti kuchepa kwa kugonana kumayambika makamaka chifukwa cha kusowa kwa chimwemwe ndi thanzi labwino lomwe limagwirizanitsidwa ndi ukalamba kwa amuna ndi akazi.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati ichi ndi chifukwa chomwe chimachititsa kuti mukakamizike kuti “chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sagona nane”, pali chiyembekezo kuti mutha kusintha zinthu pokometsera nthawi yanu yapamtima. Umu ndi momwe:

• Yesetsani kuti zinthu zikhale zosangalatsa komanso zosasangalatsa pakati pa mapepala kuti mkazi wanu asathe kukukanizani
• Mutha kuyesa sewero, kuvala mokopa, kapena kupanga mawonekedwe osangalatsa ndi fungo labwino ndi makandulo kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro oyenera.
• Funsani mnzanuyo ngati angafune kukumana ndi zosiyana pabedi
• Kumugwira mosayembekezereka nthawi zina kumakhala kovutitsa kwambiri

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4. Watopadi

“Azimayi masiku ano ali ndi zinthu zambiri, kukwaniritsa ntchito zapakhomo ndi zantchito kungathe kuwafooketsa, kuwasiya opanda mphamvu zochitira chiwerewere, chifukwa chokhalira limodzi ndi okondedwa awo amayamba kumva ngati ntchito ina,” akutero Gopa. Mwinamwake, kupanda chidwi kwa mkazi wanu kukhala paubwenzi ndi inu kulibe chochita ndi inu kapena mkhalidwe wa unansi wanu.

Pamene mukuganiza kuti "N'chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana ndi ine?", mwina akuda nkhawa ndi nthawi yomaliza ya ntchito, magulu oti ayang'anire, ana oti aleredwe, zakudya zophika, maulendo oyendayenda, ndi zinthu zina biliyoni. Mwachibadwa, malingaliro ogonana amapita kumbuyo.

Zoyenera kuchita

Chifukwa chachikulu ichi chomwe chimachititsa mkazi wanu kupeŵa chibwenzi chingathetsedwenso mosavuta.

• Mutha kusintha moyo wanu wakugonana pogawana nawo katundu wake komanso kukhala okhudzidwa kwambiri pakuyendetsa banja
• Muziona kuti mkazi wanu ndi wapadera ndi manja okoma monga kumupezera maluwa kapena mphatso zazing'ono, kumvetsera kwa iye ndi chidwi chonse, kumuphikira chakudya, ndi mawu oyamikira tsiku lililonse
• Musangalatseni ndi tsiku la spa kapena mupite naye kutchuthi kuti aphwanye chisangalalo ndikumupatsa mpumulo womwe umamuyenera

5. Chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sagona nane? Akhoza kukhala akukunyengani

Ngati kusowa chidwi pa kugonana kunabwera mwadzidzidzi ndikukudabwitsani, zikhoza kukhala chifukwa chakuti mkazi wanu akukunyengererani. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, kudzipereka kumakhudzana kwambiri ndi kugonana kwa mkazi. Ngati chilakolako chake cha kugonana sichikukwaniritsidwa muukwati uno, akhoza kusokera. M’chenicheni, zokhumba zake zakugonana zikakwaniritsidwa kwinakwake, adzakhala ndi chifukwa chocheperako chofuna kukhala nanu pachibwenzi

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mkhalidwe watsoka ukachitika pamene mkazi wanu konse kuyambitsa kukhudzana thupi chifukwa ali ndi chibwenzi kunja kwa banja, muyenera kuchita nazo mwanzeru. Zotsatira za chibwenzi sizovuta m'banja. Nonse muyenera kukhala owona mtima kotheratu kwa wina ndi mnzake kuti muthetse nkhani za ubale wanu ndikubwezeretsanso chikondi ndi kukhulupirirana muukwati wanu. Kupita kuchipatala kungathandize kwambiri. Kungoti mukudziwa, Upangiri wa upangiri wa Bonobology ali nthawi zonse chifukwa cha inu.

6. Mkazi wako wakhala akuzindikira thupi lake

Nchifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga alibe chidwi ndi ine zogonana, mukudabwa? Gopa ali ndi yankho pavuto lanu, "Azimayi amazindikira kwambiri za matupi awo, ndinali ndi makasitomala ochepa omwe anali ndi mwana ndipo zimandivuta kuti ndiyambenso kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi awo chifukwa sanalinso omasuka ndi matupi awo.

“Mkhalidwewo ukhoza kuipiraipira ngati mwamuna anena mawu osaganizira kapena opweteka ponena za maonekedwe ake.” Ngati mumnyozetsa ndi kunyozetsa chidaliro chake, nkovuta kuona chifukwa chake mkazi wanu amakana kukhala wapamtima. Tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa kugwirizana pakati pa chikhumbo chake chochepa ndi kusintha kwa thupi, kotero kuti mumamumvera chisoni kwambiri:

• Ukwati, kukhala ndi pakati, ndi kubereka, limodzi ndi kusintha kwa matupi a m’thupi pa magawo osiyanasiyana a moyo, ndi zina mwa zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti thupi liziyenda bwino. zifukwa zomwe akazi amanenepa ndipo zimawatumizira kudzitama kwawo
• Kukhala wosamasuka pakhungu lawo ndi chifukwa chofala chomwe amayi amasiya kukonda kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi awo
• Ukalamba ukhoza kukhala ndi chikoka chofananacho pa thupi la mkazi zomwe zimamupangitsa iye kudzimva kukhala wosakhudzika kapena wachigololo

Zoyenera kuchita

Tsopano popeza mukudziwa kuti ichi chingakhalenso chifukwa chomwe mkazi wanu samayambitsa chikondi kapena ubwenzi wamtundu uliwonse, muyenera kukhala thanthwe lake ndikumutsimikizira kuti mumaganizabe kuti ndi wokongola ngati tsiku limene munakumana naye koyamba. Kuyamikira pang'ono kungamuthandize kukhala wodzidalira komanso wachinyamata pamtima. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakhala akukumana ndi vutoli pambuyo pa mimba, muyenera kukhala mwamuna wothandizira ndikumuthandiza pakusintha kumeneku.

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7. Maudindo a m'banja ndi nkhani zina zingakhale zikumudetsa nkhawa

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumangodziuza kuti, "Mkazi wanga sandifuna kugonana", ganizirani izi: chibadwa chake chokhala ndi chisa mwachibadwa chimasintha maganizo ake kwa banja ndi ana, ndipo izi zikhoza kukhudza malo omwe amakupatsirani komanso kugonana m'banja mwanu. Ngati pali mavuto ena monga mavuto azachuma kapena kusokonekera kwa ubale, nkhawayo ikhoza kupha libido yake. “A ukwati wabwino ndi kuthandiza okondedwa wanu. Ngati simukuchita izi, mutha kuthana ndi mavuto monga kusowa kwa kugonana komanso kugwirizana kwamalingaliro,” akutero Gopa.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati moyo wakuponyerani mpira wokhotakhota, muyenera kuphunzira kuthana nawo. M’malo motaya mtima kaamba ka chenicheni chakuti mkazi wanu sayambitsa chikondi kapena ubwenzi, chitanipo kanthu ndi kugawana nawo mtolo wake wamalingaliro. Muuzeni kuti mwabweza naye, ziribe kanthu kuti muli ndi vuto lotani. Thandizani poyesa kupeza njira zothetsera mavuto omwe akhala akumulemetsa. Izi zidzathandiza kwambiri kubwezeretsa mtendere wake wamaganizo ndikubwezeretsanso chilakolako m'chipinda chanu

8. Sakukondwera ndi kusowa kwanu kwaukhondo

Nthawi zina, yankho la chifukwa chake mkazi wanu amakana kukhala wapamtima likhoza kukhala kuti mwasiya kudzisamalira komanso kudzikongoletsa. Ganizirani za nthawi imene munali pachibwenzi. Mwinamwake, munapita mtunda wowonjezera kuti mumuvekerere, muwoneke bwino, mununkhize bwino, ndikukhala odzikonzekeretsa poyembekezera kuchitapo kanthu.

Tsopano popeza mwakwatiwa ndipo mumaona kuti ndinu okhazikika m’chibwenzicho, mwina mwayamba kuziona mopepuka zinthu zimenezi. Makhalidwe odekhawa ndi amodzi mwa kutembenuka kwakukulu kwa mkazi. Kungakhale chifukwa chimene mkazi wanu amapeŵera chibwenzi, osanenapo za kukambirana kapena kukuululirani malingaliro ake akugonana.

Zoyenera kuchita

Choncho, ngati simukumbukira nthawi yomaliza imene munaululira nsalu musanagone kapena kudzikonzekeretsa nokha kwa mkazi wanu, ndi nthawi yoti musiye kukhala ngati slob. Yambani kusamba madzulo, kuvala cologne kwa iye, ndipo, chofunika kwambiri, sungani zinthu bwino komanso zaukhondo pansi apo.

9. Kuvutika maganizo kapena matenda a maganizo

Ngati nthawi zonse mumadzifunsa kuti chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanu sayambitsa chikondi kapena kusonyeza chidwi chilichonse paubwenzi, mvetsetsani kuti zovuta zamaganizidwe zimatha kukhudza chilakolako chogonana. Mwachitsanzo, kuvutika maganizo komanso mankhwala omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pochiza matendawa, akhoza kusokoneza chilakolako cha munthu. A pepala kafukufuku akuti zowawa zomwe zidachitika m'mbuyomu komanso zovuta kukhazikitsa maubwenzi nthawi zambiri zimakhudza libido ya amayi. Malinga ndi kafukufuku yemweyo, chikhumbo chochepa chogonana chimalumikizidwa ndi kukhumudwa komanso kusowa kwamphamvu komanso chisangalalo ndi mikhalidwe ya nkhawa.

Poyankha funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?”, Gopa anati: “Mwachionekere, ngati munthu akumva kufooka ndi kupsinjika maganizo, sangafune kuyanjana ndi ena; adzafuna kudzipatula.

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Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati mukuganiza kuti yanu mkazi akuvutika maganizo kapena kulimbana ndi vuto linalake la matenda amisala, nkhawa yakuti "mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi" iyenera kubweza mmbuyo. Muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri kumuthandiza kuthana ndi mavuto ake amisala, choyamba komanso chachikulu. Nazi zomwe mungachite

• Pezani thandizo loyenera la akatswiri
• Khalani tcheru, musamutchule mawu olakwika amalingaliro kapena ngati mukufuna chidwi
• Gwirani dzanja la mnzanu panthawi yamavutoyi ndipo nthabwala zogonana zibwerera akatulukamo, ali wamphamvu komanso wathanzi.

10. Mavuto aakulu azachipatala

Mofanana ndi thanzi la maganizo, thanzi labwino ndilofunikanso kuti amayi azimva kuti ali ndi vuto logonana. Pamene mukutaya tulo kaya sakukopekanso ndi inu, mkazi wanu angakhale akulimbana ndi matenda omwe sanawazindikire, zomwe zimachititsa kuti chilakolako chake chogonana chifike pamphuno.

Matenda achikazi monga endometriosis, PCOS, PCOD, uterine fibroids, kuuma kwa nyini, ndi ululu wa m'chiuno zingapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuti amayi azisangalala ndi kugonana. Komanso kusintha kwa mahomoni pa nthawi yomwe ali ndi pakati komanso kuyamwitsa kapena kusintha kwa msambo kungakhudze chilakolako cha mkazi chogonana.

Zoyenera kuchita

Kuwona OB-GYN koyambirira ndikofunikira ngati mukukayikira kuti vuto linalake likhoza kuchititsa kuti mkazi wanu asakhale ndi chilakolako chogonana. Kumbukirani, zimatenga nthawi kuti mikhalidwe yotereyi ichiritsidwe (kapena kusamalidwa). Pokhapokha pamene chidwi chake chogonana chidzayambiranso. Muyenera kudekha naye.

11. Ana akhala patsogolo

Greg, mmodzi wa oŵerenga athu a ku Long Island anatiuza kuti: “Mkazi wanga samandikhudzanso.” Zinthu zasintha kuchokera pamene tinakhala ndi mwana,” Greg, mmodzi wa oŵerenga athu a ku Long Island anatiuza kuti: “Popeza ameneyu ndi mwana wathu woyamba, sindikudziŵa n’komwe chimene chiri chachibadwa ndi chimene sichili bwino.

Ngakhale kuti umakhala wokhutiritsa, kukhala mayi ndi vuto losatha. Mayi aliyense ali ndi njira yake yolandirira udindowu, ndipo kwa ena, chimakhala chofunikira kwambiri pamoyo wawo, kutengera malo ambiri amalingaliro, mphamvu, zinthu zakuthupi, komanso nthawi. Mkazi wanunso ayenera kuti anatanganidwa kwambiri ndi kulera ana moti ubwenzi wake ndi inu wabwerera m’mbuyo. Izi zikhoza kumupangitsa iye kukhala wokondana naye maganizo, zomwe zimayambitsa kusowa kwa kugonana.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati ana ali chifukwa chimene mkazi wanu samayambitsa chikondi, muyenera kusonyeza kufunika kwa ubwenzi wapamtima pakati pa okwatirana kaamba ka ukwati wachimwemwe, wathanzi. Mwina angamvetse kufunika kokhala wosamala pakati pa udindo wake monga mayi ndi mkazi. Komanso, chofunika kwambiri, ngati mwakhala mukutsalira m'nyumba mwanu ndi ntchito za makolo, ndi nthawi yoti mutenge ndikumasula malo m'maganizo ndi m'moyo wake kuti athe kuganiza malingaliro achigololo.

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12. Ngati mkazi wanu sakufunanso zogonana, zitha kukhala chifukwa chakukwiyira

“Ngati alipo mkwiyo m'banja, ziyenera kudziwonetsera ngati kusowa kwa kugonana ndi chiyanjano. Posachedwapa ndinagwira ntchito ndi kasitomala amene anakwiyira mwamuna kapena mkazi wake moti sankafuna n’komwe kuti amugwire, ngakhalenso kukhala pachibwenzi. Pakakhala kusamvana ndi kusamvana komwe kumabweretsa mkwiyo, udani umawonekera, ndipo kusowa kwa kugonana m'banja ndi chizindikiro chimodzi cha izi," akutero Gopa.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ngati kusowa kwa kugonana m'banja mwanu ndi chifukwa cha chakukhosi, izi ndi zomwe mungachite: 

• M’malo molola maganizo okhumudwitsa monga akuti, “Mkazi wanga sayambitsa chibwenzi. kapena “Mkazi wanga safuna kusiya, kodi ine sindine woyenera kwa iye?”, zimakusokonezani, yesetsani kuganizira nkhani yaikulu imene imayambitsa mkwiyo pachibwenzi chanu.
• Moona mtima ndi momasuka kambiranani zofuna za wina ndi mzake zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe
• Ikani ndalama zambiri m’banja mwanu ndipo musamatengere mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mosasamala

13. Wasiya kukudalira

Ngati mwakhala osakhulupirika kwa iye ndipo akudziwa, ndizodziwikiratu chifukwa chake mkazi wanu samayamba kukukondani. Mwina, simunayesepo kuchita ayambirenso kumukhulupirira atanyenga kapena anathana ndi zotsatira za kusakhulupirika m'njira yoyenera. Izi zamupangitsa kuti asamavutike kwambiri komanso kuti asamavutike, zomwe zingapangitse kuti ubwenziwo uchepe.

Pamene mukudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?”, mwina akudandaula chifukwa chimene sanali wokwanira kwa inu. Chigololo sichinthu chokhacho chomwe chimachititsa kuti anthu asamakhulupirirena. Chibwenzi chamalingaliro, chinyengo chazachuma, kapena kubisa china chake chachikulu zitha kukhala zopweteka zomwe zingayambitse kudalirana muubwenzi. 

Gopa akufotokoza kuti: “Kubera ndi kusaona mtima kungawononge thanzi la ubwenzi.” Ululu, kupwetekedwa mtima, kusakhulupirirana kumachititsa okwatirana kukhala osiyana.

Zoyenera kuchita:

Kupanda ubwenzi kumakhala vuto lachiwiri muzochitika ngati izi. Chofunika chanu chiyenera kukhala kulimbitsanso chikhulupiriro muubwenzi.

• Ngati mkazi wanu akuwoneka kuti sakudalirani, bwererani mmbuyo kuti muone pamene munalakwitsa kwambiri moti sangakukhulupirireninso.
• Ngati palidi chibwenzi, chithetseni nthawi yomweyo ndipo musonyeze mkazi wanu kuti ndinu wodzipereka kwambiri kuti banjali liziyenda bwino. 
• Ngati mwasiya kukukhulupirirani mwanjira ina, sungani zolakwa zanu, kambiranani naye momasuka, ndipo mutsimikizireni kuti zonse zidachitika kale.
• Mwina chithandizo cha maanja ena chingathandize kumanganso chikondi pambuyo pa kuwonongeka kwa maganizo

14. Kukhumudwa pambuyo pa mimba kungakhale chifukwa chosafuna kugonana

Ngati mumangodzimvera chisoni nthawi zonse chifukwa cha "mkazi wanga sangandigwire", ganizirani kukhumudwa pambuyo pa mimba ngati chifukwa chotheka. Kubereka ndizochitika zosintha moyo zomwe sizimangokhala zovuta pathupi la munthu komanso malingaliro ake. Pafupifupi amayi onse obadwa kumene amakumana ndi zomwe zimatchulidwa kuti 'mwana wabuluu' - kumva chisoni mwadzidzidzi pambuyo pobereka, kuphatikizapo kusinthasintha kwa maganizo ndi kukwiya, pakati pa zizindikiro zina.

Nthawi zina, zimenezi zimakula mpaka kufika pobereka, ndipo n’chifukwa chakenso mkazi wanu amapeŵa chibwenzi. Komanso, kafukufuku zimasonyeza kuti kuvulala kwa nyini, kusadziletsa mkodzo, ndi kugonana kowawa chifukwa cha kukomoka kochepa kumakhudzanso kuchepa kwa chidwi cha amayi pa kugonana.

Zoyenera kuchita:

Kupanda chidwi ndi kugonana pambuyo pobereka si chinthu chomwe mungathe - kapena muyenera - kuchiza. Nthawi zambiri, ndi gawo lomwe limadutsa. Mpaka pamenepo,

• Musayese kumukonza, ingokhalani naye
• Onetsetsani kuti mkazi wanu akupuma mokwanira komanso akudya bwino
• Kukhudza kwaumunthu ndi kukambitsirana kwapamtima kungachiritse kwa iye
• Yang'anirani zizindikiro zilizonse za postpartum depression

15. Simungathe kumpatsa nthawi

Mwina mwatanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito yanu kapena anzanu ndi achibale anu moti simumathera nthawi yabwino ndi mkazi wanu. Aliyense mkazi amafunikira chisamaliro chochokera kwa mwamuna wake. Kusampatsa nthaŵi yokwanira ndi chikondi mwachibadwa kudzachititsa kuti banja lizitalikirana. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, mungakhale mukudandaula kuti, “Mkazi wanga sandifuna kugonana.”

Zoyenera kuchita:

Mutha kukhazikitsa zinthu kutsogoloku pokonzekera masiku apadera nditchuthi chaching'ono kuti nonse muzitha kuyang'anana wina ndi mnzake komanso ubale wanu popanda kuda nkhawa ndi ntchito, ndalama, ana, ndi zina. Komanso, m’malo modikira kuti mkazi wanu ayambe, mukhoza kukonzekera zonse ndi kumusonyeza nthawi yabwino.

“N’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanga sakufuna kugonana nane?” chingakhale chodabwitsa chothetsa nzeru. Mwachionekere, pali zifukwa zambiri zimene mkazi angalephere kukhala paubwenzi ndi mwamuna wake. Ngakhale zina mwazifukwa zimatha kuchotsedwa ndi njira yoyenera komanso malingaliro abwino, zina zitha kuwononga ubale wonse. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, yesetsani kuchita zonse zimene mungathe ndipo gwirani ntchito limodzi ndi mkazi wanu kuti muyambitsenso ukwati wanu. Tikukhulupirira, tsopano mukudziwa zoyenera kuchita. Zabwino zonse!

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Meyi 2023. 

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