Taganizirani izi: nthawi zonse mukamayesetsa kugawana malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu ndi wokondedwa wanu, amawoneka ngati ali kutali kapena alibe chidwi. Uwu ndiye mbendera yofiyira yoyamba yomwe kunyalanyazidwa kwakhudza moyo wanu waukwati. Mosiyana ndi nkhani zogwirika za ubale monga kuzunzidwa, kukwiyira, kapena kubera, kunyalanyaza m'banja sikuwoneka, motero, kumakhala kovuta kuwerengera. Nthawi zambiri anthu sadziwa n'komwe kuti n'chiyani.
Ngakhale zitakhala kuti n’kovuta kunyalanyaza, kunyalanyaza m’banja kungayambitse kusakhutira, ndipo kulimbana ndi zimenezo kungakhale chokumana nacho chosweka mtima ndi chodzipatula. Pofuna kuwonetsetsa kuti musavutike mwakachetechete, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kuzindikira zizindikiro za kunyalanyaza m'banja mothandizidwa ndi uphungu wa psychologist. Kavita Panyam (Master's in Psychology and international affiliate ndi American Psychological Association), amene wakhala akuthandiza maanja kuthana ndi mavuto awo pa ubale kwa zaka zopitirira makumi awiri. Chifukwa chake, ngati mulibe yankho loti, "Chithandiziro chamalingaliro muubwenzi ndi chiyani?", Kapena osadziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi mtunda wamalingaliro, werengani.
Kodi Kunyalanyaza M'maganizo Ndi Chiyani Muukwati?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Banja labwino limakhazikika pa lonjezo la kukhalapo kwa wina ndi mnzake ndi kugawana zokumana nazo pamoyo wa wina ndi mnzake. Kupambana kwa ubale wapakati pa moyo wa anthu okwatirana sikudalira chikondi chenicheni komanso kugwirizana kwamphamvu m'malingaliro. Ngati kugwirizana kumeneku sikuli kolimba kapena ngati onse awiri sayesetsa kuulimbitsa, ubwenzi ungayambe kukhazikika m’banja.
Kuyambira pamenepo, ukwati uliwonse ukhoza kugunda mofulumira. Chifukwa chake ngati mnzanu sapereka chisamaliro pang'ono kapena osaganiziranso zosoweka zapamtima za mnzake kapena akulephera kuchitapo kanthu limbikitsa ubwenzi wamaganizo, ndi mkhalidwe wa kunyalanyaza maganizo m’banja.
Zifukwa Zakunyalanyazidwa Mwamalingaliro Muukwati
Zotsatira za maubwenzi omwe wina amanyalanyaza zofuna za mnzawo akhoza kukhala ozama ndipo angayambitse mavuto ena m'banja. Ngati mukuona kuti simukugwirizana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, maganizo oti sakuyamikiridwa kapena kunyalanyazidwa ndi wachibadwa.
Koma kodi kusagwirizana kwamaganizo kumeneku kumachokera kuti? N’cifukwa ciani anthu aŵili amene anasemphana maganizo kwambili mpaka anaganiza zokhala pamodzi akulekana kwambili? Kuti tipeze yankho, tiyeni tiyang’ane pa zifukwa zingapo zomwe zingakhale zochititsa kunyalanyaza m’banja:
- Zowonongeka za ubale wakale: Zomwe zachitika kale kuchokera ku maubwenzi ozunza kapena kunyalanyazidwa paubwana zingakhudze momwe munthu amasangalalira ndi maubwenzi ake akuluakulu.
- Mikangano yosathetsedwa m’banja: Nkhani zina zimene sizingathetsedwe m’banja, zomwe mwina zasesa pa kapeti, zingapangitsenso anthu okwatirana kukhala kutali ndi maganizo awo.
- Kupanikizika pantchito: Wokondedwa wanu angakhale akukumana ndi zovuta kuntchito, ndipo izi zikhoza kusokoneza ubale wanu
- Kusagwirizana m'malingaliro: Mmene mumaonera ubwenzi wapamtima ukhoza kukhala wosiyana ndi momwe mnzanuyo amaonera. Ndizotheka kuti mumalemekeza kwambiri malingaliro kuposa okondedwa anu ndipo zimapangitsa wokondedwa wanu kuwoneka ngati 'osapezeka'.
- Kupanda chifundo: Anthu ambiri, makamaka omwe ali ndi vuto la narcissistic personality disorder, amakonda kusonyeza kusowa chifundo kwathunthu, komanso, kusowa kwa kukhudzidwa mu chiyanjano.
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15 Zizindikiro Zakunyalanyazidwa M'malingaliro mu Ukwati
Ubwino wanu wamalingaliro m'banja ndi wotsimikizika pamene mnzanuyo ali ndi inu nthawi zonse - mwakuthupi (kupyolera mu kusonyeza chikondi chakuthupi), mwachidziwitso (kusonyeza chifundo, kuleza mtima, ndi kumvetsetsa), ndi khalidwe (kusonyeza chikondi ndi chisamaliro kupyolera mu zochita). Kutaya kwathunthu kwa dongosolo lothandizirali kungakhale kowopsa komanso kudzipatula.
Kupanda kugwirizana kwambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kungakupangitseni kudandaula kuti, “Mwamuna wanga amandinyalanyaza m’maganizo ndi m’zogonana”, kapena kudabwa kuti, “Kodi wanga mkazi kuona wina?” Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kudziwa zomwe zimachititsa kunyalanyazidwa kuti muthe kuchitapo kanthu pa izi:
1. Simumathera nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu za kunyalanyazidwa kwa maganizo m’banja ndi pamene simukucheza ndi wina ndi mnzake. Tsopano, chifukwa chakuti okwatirana amakhala limodzi sizitanthauza kuti amathera nthaŵi yabwino ali ndi mnzake.
Izi ndi zomwe a Reddit wosuta akuganiza kuti nthawi yabwino ndi yakuti, "Nthawi yabwino imakhudzana ndi zomwe mwakumana nazo. Kukhala m'nyumba nthawi imodzi sikugawana nawo; kuchita zochitika zomwe mukuwona zatsopano, ngakhale zitakhala ngati galu / duwa / kulowa kwadzuwa / ndi zina zotero ndi chinthu chatsopano chomwe mwachita. Kungakhalenso kukhala pansi ndikuyankhula -- zomwe mumagawana, kuseka, ngakhale mikangano kuti nonse mumachita zinthu zatsopano nthawi imodzi.
Choncho, pamene inu kapena mnzanuyo simumawononga nthawi yabwino pamodzi, mukhoza kumaliza:
- Kuika patsogolo ntchito
- Kumacheza ndi abwenzi ndi abale m'malo mwake
- Kumanamizira kudwala pofuna kupewa kupita kocheza
Ichi ndi njira yolimbana ndi vuto polimbana ndi kunyalanyazidwa kwamalingaliro ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zake zowonekeranso.
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2. Mwadzipatula
Kudabwa momwe mungadziwire ngati mnzanuyo kulibe maganizo kapena ngati mukuchita naye mtunda wamalingaliro kapena kusiya maganizo m’banja? Chabwino, ngati mumadzipeza nokha, kupyola nthawi zabwino ndi zoipa, ndi chizindikiro chowonekera cha kunyalanyaza m'banja.
Kudzipatula koteroko kumalankhula zambiri. M'kupita kwa nthawi, zimapangitsa kuti banja lanu likhale lotalikirana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mukhale osiyana. Ichi ndi chiopsezo chenicheni pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi akumva kunyalanyaza pa chibwenzi.
3. Mulibe makambirano atanthauzo kapena olimbikitsa
Kusalankhulana kungakhale chopinga m’njira yoti ukwati ukhale wachipambano. Othandizana nawo akuyembekezeka kugawana zambiri zamoyo wawo wina ndi mnzake. Zimenezi zimafuna makambitsirano amphamvu, atanthauzo, ndi olimbikitsa. Bwenzi, Rhea, ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sanalankhulepo nkomwe za zinthu zofunika m’moyo, ndipo zochulukira za makambitsirano awo anali olekezera pa zinthu zofunika, monga ngati ana, ndalama, banja, golosale, ndi zopitako. Pamene analephera kusimba nkhaniyo, ndinamuuza kuti aione ngati chizindikiro chochenjeza.
Kulankhula za momwe mungasinthire kulumikizana ndikuthana ndi kusalabadira muubwenzi, ubale wovomerezeka padziko lonse lapansi komanso mphunzitsi wapamtima. Shivanya Yogmayaa M'mbuyomu adauza Bonobology, "Nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro anu." Mwachitsanzo, mutha kunena kuti, "Ndikumva chonchi" osati "Mumandipangitsa kumva chonchi".
4. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sasonyeza chidwi pa nkhani ya kugonana
A kusowa kugwirizana maganizo pakati pa okwatirana pamapeto pake amatsegula njira ya kunyalanyazidwa kwakuthupi, motero kumachepetsa kugonana. Samalani pamene sakuwonetsani zizindikiro za kukopeka kwanu ndipo musayankhe zomwe mukukulimbikitsani. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mwina adatuluka m'banja mokhudzidwa mtima. Chifukwa chake, mudzamva kuti mukunyalanyazidwa muubwenzi ngati uwu, makamaka.
“Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amene sakukhudzidwa maganizo angakuchititseni manyazi ndi mawu onga akuti “Wagonana mopambanitsa,” “Kodi ulibe china chilichonse choti uchite?,” kapena “Kodi ndi zokhazo zimene ungaganizire?” Pa nthawi yomweyi, ngati palibe kulankhulana pa zomwe mukufuna kapena zomwe simukuzifuna panthawi yogonana, ndi chizindikiro chinanso kuti mnzanuyo akutsekerezani kunja chifukwa cha kunyalanyaza kwa thupi.
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5. Amatsamira anthu akunja kuti awathandize
Ngakhale ndizabwinobwino - ndikofunikira ngakhale - kukhala ndi anzanu komanso moyo wanu mutalowa m'banja, wokondedwa ayenera kukhala patsogolo kuposa abwenzi ndi anzanu. Mwayi ndi, pamene mnzanuyo salinso ndi chidwi ndi ukwati, anthu akunja, monga ogwira nawo ntchito ndi abwenzi, angakhale magwero awo a chithandizo nthawi zonse moyo ukakhala wovuta. Ndipo simudzadziwa ngakhale zovuta zomwe akulimbana nazo. Zikatero, zizindikiro za kusokonezeka maganizo kapena kuchotsedwa kungawoneke ngati:
- Mumaphunzira za zochitika zofunika m'moyo wa wokondedwa wanu kuchokera kwa anthu ena
- Ndinu omaliza kudziwa za zisankho zazikulu pamoyo zomwe angakhale adapanga
Ngati mwakumanapo ndi zina mwazomwe tatchulazi, simunalakwe ngati mukuganiza kuti “Mwamuna wanga amandinyalanyaza m’maganizo ndi m’zogonana” kapena “Mkazi wanga salinso wotanganidwa ndi ine”.
6. Simuli nokha pafupi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu
Kuyendayenda mnyumba mutavala zovala zanu zamkati…Heyi, kuyendayenda mnyumba muli mbulanda…Kutsuka mano pamaso panu…Kutulutsa mpweya pamaso pa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Mochuluka kapena mocheperapo chilichonse banja limachita zinthu zodabwitsa ndi wina ndi mzake kamodzi atakhazikika muukwati wawo. Ndi chizindikiro chakuti ndinu omasuka kukhala nokha pafupi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.
Ngati izi sizikuchitika, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu wayang'ana m'banja, kapena mkazi wanu alibe chidwi ndi inu. Tengani chitsanzo cha mnzanga Andrea, mwachitsanzo. Anaona kuti sangakhale ndi mwamuna wake popanda zopakapaka. Ndipo izi zinali chifukwa mwamuna wake nthawi ina adamupempha kuti azikongoletsa ngakhale kunyumba, akumamuimba mlandu chifukwa cha kusoweka kwa chikoka paubwenzi wawo.
7. Mukulephera kumvetsetsa zosowa ndi zofuna zawo
Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakugwirizana ndi chibwenzicho, simudziwa zosowa zawo, zomwe akufuna, zomwe amakonda, zomwe sakonda, ndipo simudziwa zomwe akufuna paubwenzi ndi inu. Zotsatira zake, mukhoza kukhala wosungulumwa m’banja ndipo kumva kukhala ndi mlendo m’nyumba imodzi kudzabwera.
Muzochitika zotere za kunyalanyaza kwamalingaliro muubwenzi, ngakhale mutha kupita mopitilira muyeso kuti muwasangalatse kapena kuwasangalatsa, malingaliro osakhutira ndi kusagwirizana amakhalabe. Chifukwa ngakhale mutayesetsa kukonza ubwenzi wanu, nthawi zonse mumalephera kukwaniritsa zimene mnzanuyo amafuna. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chowoneka bwino cha kunyalanyaza kwa m'banja kuchokera kumapeto kwa wokondedwa wanu.
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8. Mumadalira nokha
Ndiye, mumawona bwanji zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu adaziwona muukwati kapena kudziwa ngati mwadzidzidzi mtunda wamalingaliro pakati pa iwe ndi mkazi wako? Monga okondedwa ogawana moyo, nonse muyenera kuyesetsa kuthetsa nkhani limodzi. Koma ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wosakhudzidwa maganizo, posachedwapa mudzazindikira kuti muyenera kuthana ndi nkhani zonse, zazikulu ndi zazing'ono, nokha.
“Ngati muli ndi ana, kuyambira pa maphunziro awo ndi ntchito zina zapasukulu, kuwasamalira ndi kuwaphunzitsa makhalidwe abwino, ndiye kuti muyenera kukwaniritsa maudindo ambirimbiri olera ana.” N’chimodzimodzinso ndi ntchito zapakhomo, kulipira ngongole, kapenanso udindo wina wocheza nawo.
9. Umamva ngati mlendo kwa iwo
Ngakhale mukukhala nyumba imodzi komanso chipinda chimodzi, mumamvabe ngati munthu wokhala naye kapena wobwereketsa, ngati ubale wanu ndi iwo ulibe mgwirizano wamalingaliro kapena ngati mukusiyidwa m'banja. Izi zikufanana ndi zomwe a Reddit wosuta "Ndimakonda Adam, koma patatha zaka khumi tikukhala limodzi, sindingathe kugwedeza kumverera kuti sindikumudziwa nkomwe. Akuwoneka kuti sanakhudzidwe ndi ine, koma wanena momveka bwino kuti sakufuna kuti ndichoke ndipo ngati nditero, zidzakhala 100% motsutsana ndi chifuniro chake."
“Pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi amamva kunyalanyazidwa muubwenzi, angakhale okwatira koma osakwatiwa. Simungathe kudalira mnzanuyo kulankhula naye, kuchita naye zinthu, kukusangalatsani, kusamba chikondi pa inu, kapena kukupangitsani kumva kuti mukufuna. Ngakhale kuti munakwatiwa, mulibe mnzako amene amadza nawo. Palibe amene amakuchirikizani, kukulimbikitsani, kapena kukupatsani msana,” akutero Kavita.
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10. Mumakopeka ndi amuna/akazi ena
Kusungulumwa ndi kumverera kwa kugwidwa m'moyo wothamanga kungathe kukupezani bwino pamene mukulimbana ndi kunyalanyaza maganizo mu chiyanjano. Izi zithanso kukupangitsani kufuna kukhutitsidwa m'malingaliro kunja kwa banja lanu, kukulitsa kukopeka ndi amuna/akazi ena. Mungathe kukhala ndi chiyanjano chamaganizo ndi munthu yemwe:
- Zikuwoneka kuti ndakumvetsani
- Amayesetsa kulankhula nanu
- Amakupatsani chichirikizo ndi chikondi chomwe mulibe m'banja mwanu
Choncho, kukhala kunyalanyazidwa mwamaganizo muubwenzi akhoza kukankhira inu kusakhulupirika
11. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amadzudzula mopambanitsa
Mwamuna kapena mkazi amene ali kutali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake angasangalale akamakudzudzulani. Choncho, samalani ndi zizindikiro izi:
- Amakutengerani ponse pagulu komanso mseri kunyumba kwanu
- Amakukwiyitsani m'maganizo ndi mikwingwirima yosazindikira ngakhale kukula kwa kuwonongeka komwe akukuwonongerani inu ndi banja lawo.
- Ziribe kanthu zomwe mungachite, simungasangalatse mnzanuyo ndipo amakudzudzulani mwankhanza mpaka kufika polephera kupirira.
Zikatere, umakhala mwamantha kwambiri kuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira mozungulira iwo, nthawi zonse kuganiza kachiwiri ndi kuganiziranso zochita zanu. Kusunga wokondedwa wanu kumakhala cholinga chanu chachikulu. Komabe, ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji, nthawi zonse mumalephera. Amapeza zifukwa zokudzudzulani pa chilichonse ndi chilichonse, kuyambira maonekedwe anu mpaka umunthu wanu, zosankha zanu zantchito, luso lophika, ndi zina zotero,” akufotokoza motero Kavita.
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12. Simugawana zomwe mwakumana nazo zoyipa
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kunyalanyazidwa m'banja ndi pamene palibe kulankhulana m'banja. Koma zimawonekera kwambiri ngati simugawana chilichonse chomwe chimakupanikizani kapena chokhumudwitsa. Ndipotu, maganizo oipa sanganenedwe nkomwe mu maubwenzi oterowo. Mwachitsanzo:
- Mutha kutha kukhala opanda mikangano konse, zomwe zikuwonetsa mkhalidwe wopanda chidwi kapena mphwayi mu ubale
- Mungapezenso mnzanuyo akuzemba kukambirana zonse zokhudza nkhani zazikulu, monga nkhawa ya ntchito
- Simungathe kugawana nawo mantha anu aakulu kapena kusatetezeka kwanu
13. Simukumva kumva
Chimodzi mwamalingaliro abwino kwambiri muubwenzi ndikumverera kuti watsimikiziridwa ndi mnzanu. Komabe, ngati pali kunyalanyaza m'banja, mudzapeza kuti simukumvedwa kapena kutsimikiziridwa. Chifukwa chake, samalani ngati mnzanu:
- Imanyalanyaza kapena kuchotsera ulemu zomwe mwakwanitsa, monga kukwezedwa pantchito
- Sakonda, kupereka ndemanga, kapena kugawana zomwe mwalemba pawailesi yakanema, ngakhale anzanu akuganiza kuti mumagawana zambiri
- Kwathunthu amakunyalanyazani kapena maganizo anu pa chirichonse ndi chirichonse, kuyambira chakudya chophikidwa m'nyumba mpaka mtundu wa makatani m'chipinda chanu chogona.
Izi ndi zizindikiro zoonekeratu za kunyalanyazidwa kwamaganizo mu chiyanjano.
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14. Amakupatsirani Kukhala chete
Mukudabwa momwe mungadziwire ngati mnzanu akutaya chidwi kapena wayang'ana maganizo? Stonewalling ndi mbendera yofiira kwambiri yomwe simungathe kuiwala. Izi ndi zomwe msuweni wanga anakumana nazo muukwati wake. Kuyesetsa kwake kuti akhazikitse ubwenzi wapamtima kudapangitsa kuti mnzakeyo abwerere m'chigoba chake ndikutembenukira kuchitira chete. Apa m’pamene ankadziwa kuti akukumana ndi kusudzulana m’banja.
Ichi ndi chizindikiro chenicheni chakuti wina akunyalanyaza mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Khalidweli silimangonyalanyaza malingaliro koma ndi chizindikiro chodziwika bwino cha kuzunzidwa m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo zomwe zingakhale zopweteka kwambiri kwa inu. Samalani ndi zizindikiro izi:
- N’kutheka kuti mumadyera patebulo limodzi, mukugona pabedi limodzi, kapena mukuyenda limodzi m’galimoto imodzi, koma amakana kucheza nanu.
- Kuyesa kulikonse kolumikizana kungakwaniritsidwe ndi chete kapena mayankho a monosyllabic
- Mwinanso amachoka m’chipindamo pamene mukuyesera kulankhulana
Zonsezi zitha kukhala zowononga kwambiri kudzidalira kwanu.
15. Simulinso patsogolo pa moyo wawo
Mwina mudakhalapo pakati pa chilengedwe chawo nthawi ina, koma kufunikira kwanu m'moyo wawo kwatsika pang'onopang'ono. Nazi zizindikiro zochenjeza zomwe muyenera kuzisamala:
- Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wayamba kudzipatula
- Iwo akhoza ngakhale kunyalanyaza nkhawa zanu za kusintha kwa equation yanu
- Ali ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anzawo, anzawo, ngakhale ana, koma osati inu
Ngati mudakumanapo ndi izi, mungadziwe momwe zotsatira zake zingawonongere. Simukuchita mantha mukamadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi wanga mwamuna wake anasiya kundikonda?” kapena “Kodi mkazi wanga sandikondanso?”
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Tsopano popeza mukudziwa yankho, chomwe ndi chithandizo chamalingaliro muubwenzi, ndikukhala ndi lingaliro la zizindikiro zomwe ubale wanu ulibe, tiyeni tifufuze mozama. Mukudabwa momwe mungapewere kunyalanyaza mwamuna kapena mkazi muukwati? Kuvomereza ndi kudandaula kuti, “Mkazi wanga sandichirikiza” kapena “Mwamuna wanga amandinyalanyaza m’maganizo ndi m’chisembwere” kokha sikungawongolere mkhalidwe wanu.
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Muyenera kutengera zinthu m'manja mwanu ndikupeza njira zothanirana ndi kunyalanyazidwa kwamalingaliro m'banja ngati mukufuna kukhalabe muukwati ngakhale kuti kulumikizana kukucheperachepera ndi mnzanu. Nawa malangizo 5 othana ndi kunyalanyazidwa kwamalingaliro komwe kungakuthandizeni sungani ukwati wanu wosweka kugwa kwathunthu:
1. Kuthana ndi mavutowa moyenera
Ngati mukufuna kukonza zizindikiro za kusagwirizana m'banja, muyenera kuyamba ndi kulankhulana. Sankhani nthawi yoyenera yokambirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu za nkhani zomwe zabwera m'banja lanu chifukwa cha kunyalanyaza maganizo. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire:
- Yesetsani kukhala wachikondi ndi womvetsetsa m'makhalidwe anu
- Khalani ndi maganizo omasuka kumbali yawo ya nkhaniyi
- Gwirizanani kuti mupeze yankho losatha la vutoli
- Khazikitsani malire za zomwe mungapirire
2. Osasewera mlandu
Zochita za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ziyenera kuti zinakukhumudwitsani kwambiri ndiponso kukukhumudwitsani kwambiri. Koma, pofuna kubwezeretsa mgwirizano muubwenzi, yesetsani kuti musamachite masewera olakwa pa zokambirana zanu. Izi zidzangopangitsa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhale wotetezedwa komanso wodzitchinjiriza panjira yawo, zomwe ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe mukufuna kukwaniritsa.
Kupatula apo, kutsogolera zokambirana moona mtima, zomasuka kungakuthandizeni kupeza zinthu zina m'njira zanu zomwe zingawayambitse. Yang'anani pakuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zikuyambitsa kulumikizana kwanu popanda kusuntha mlandu, kuwaneneza, kapena kuwawononga.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: 'Mwamuna Wanga Amayamba Kumenyana Ndi Kundiimba Mlandu': Njira Zothetsera
3. Yatsaninso chikondi
Nazi njira zina zoyatsiranso moto muubwenzi wanu:
- Khalani limodzi kuti mubweretse malingaliro abwino
- Muzipita kumacheza ngati banja
- Konzani masiku amasiku kuti mukonzenso nthawi zabwino
Pangani mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kondaninso inu. Mwayi maganizo awo amafika mozama kuposa momwe mukudziwira, koma achoka chifukwa cha zovuta zina pamoyo wawo. Ngati ndi choncho, kuchitapo kanthu pang’ono chabe kungathandize kuthetsa mavuto amene amabwera chifukwa chonyalanyaza ukwati wanu.
4. Funsani dokotala
Nthaŵi zonse m’banja mukasokonekera kapena kukukhumudwitsani, zingakhale zovuta kuti okwatiranawo athetse kusamvana paokha. Izi ndichifukwa:
- Egos amalowa mumasewera
- Simungathe kukhala ndi malingaliro achifundo kapena osakondera pamalingaliro a mnzanuyo
Ngati banja silikuyenda bwino, ndiye kuti nthawi zonse ndi bwino kupempha thandizo kwa dokotala kapena mlangizi waukwati. Mulibe manyazi kapena kusalana mmenemo. Ndipotu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti nonse ndinu okonzeka kuthandizira banja lanu kupyolera mu uphungu wa ubale. Ngati mukufuna malangizo kuti mupulumutse banja lanu, Akatswiri a Bonobology ndi alangizi zangodinanso.
5. Khazikani mtima pansi
Ngati mumamukondabe wokondedwa wanu, mwakhala ndi ubale wamphamvu ndi iwo m'mbuyomu, ndipo mumamvabe kuti akukumverani mozama kuposa zomwe zikuwonekera, kukhala woleza mtima pamene mukuchira ndikubwezeretsanso ubale wanu ndiye kubetcha kwanu kopambana. Ndipotu umu ndi mmene mungatulukire m’banja losakwanira.
Pamapeto pake, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu adzapezanso njira yopita kumtima ndi moyo wanu. Malingana ngati maziko a banja lanu ali olimba ndipo iwonso ali okhazikika muubwenzi, mutha kupeza njira yobwereranso ndikuchilitsa kunyalanyazidwa muukwati wanu.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakusamala za inu, moyo wanu, ndi zosoŵa zanu za m’maganizo, mwina akutaya chidwi
- Zizindikiro zina za kunyalanyazidwa m’banja ndi: kusalankhulana, kukhala wekha, ndipo amadzudzula zochita zanu zonse.
- Njira zina zothanirana ndi zizindikiro za kusagwirizana m'banja ndi izi: kuthetsa mavuto mwaphindu, kuleza mtima, ndi kukaonana ndi dokotala.
Kunyalanyaza m'maganizo sikwachilendo m'mabanja, koma ngati mungathe kubwereranso kumadalira momwe mumachitira nazo. Ngati zizindikiro za kunyalanyaza kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi zili zowonekera m’banja lanu, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti mukonze. Ndipo tikukhulupirira kuti nkhani yathu ikuthandizani kuchita izi!
Ibibazo
Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amathera nthawi yambiri ali yekha, samapanga mapulani ndi inu, ndipo sakuwonetsani kuti mumakukondani komanso amakuderani nkhawa, zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osungulumwa muubwenzi, zikhoza kuwerengedwa ngati kunyalanyaza maganizo.
Pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi salankhulana nanu ndipo chimwemwe chake chonse ndi nkhani zimagawidwa ndi mabwenzi ake ndi anzake, zikhoza kukhala chitsanzo cha kunyalanyaza kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi.
Banja silingathe kukhalapo popanda kugwirizana kwambiri. Anthu angathe kupulumuka m'banja lopanda kugonana popanda chinyengo koma sangasunge banja bwino popanda kulumikizana kulikonse m'maganizo.
Inde, kunyalanyaza maganizo kungakhale maziko a chisudzulo chifukwa n’kovuta kukhalabe ndi moyo m’chibwenzi chimene mulibe chomangira chamaganizo. Ukwati umakhudza kukhala ndi bwenzi, ndipo palibe chifukwa chopitira patsogolo ngati palibe mgwirizano wamalingaliro.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Zachisoni kuti nkhaniyi ikuwonetsa kukondera kwa wolemba pa amuna. Pamene upangiri ukuwonetsa ngakhale pang'ono kukondera, wolemba amachotsedwa kuchokera kwa 'katswiri' wodziyimira pawokha wodalirika kupita kwa wina ngati ife wofotokoza malingaliro awo. Sindikuwona deta kapena umboni wotsimikizira zonenazo, ndikundisiya kuganiza kuti awa ndi olemba okha, mwina kukondera, malingaliro. Izi ndi zokhumudwitsa chifukwa zimapatsa akazi mbiri yoipa ndipo sizitithandiza pamene tikuponderezedwa.
Moni, tikuyamikira malingaliro anu owona mtima. Pepani kuti munamva chonchi. Ife ndithudi tiyang'ana mu izo.
Tsatanetsatane wa nkhaniyi ndi kukondera kwa mwamuna amene amanyalanyaza mkazi wake. Koma bwanji ngati zosiyana ndi zoona? Kodi zitsanzozo zilidi zofunika?
Ndikuwona mwamuna yemwe amawonetsa kusowa kwamalingaliro, chifukwa mkazi wake ndi wonyalanyaza. Ndinkayembekezera kuti ndipeza chidziwitso apa… Ah chabwino.
Moni Arthena, Timamvetsetsa bwino momwe mukumvera! Bwanji osalankhula ndi mmodzi wa akatswiri athu omwe angakupangitseni bwino pa izi. Chonde titumizireni imelo [imelo ndiotetezedwa]