Linali Lachinayi losadabwitsa. Ava ankangokhalira kuchita zinthu zatsiku ndi tsiku, akudandaula chifukwa cha nthawi yake yomaliza kwinaku akulemba zinthu zinazake komanso ntchito zapakhomo zomwe zimamudikirira kunyumba pomwe uthenga unatuluka pa Facebook Messenger. Anali ex amene anamutaya chifukwa sanali okonzeka kudzipereka. Zaka zisanu pambuyo pake, 'hey' yosavuta inatsegula zitseko za zomwe zikanatheka.
Mofanana ndi zimenezi, Ava ndi Jeremy anakopeka. Kutumizirana mameseji m’mbuyo ndi m’mbuyo pa mpata uliwonse umene akanatha kuba, kufotokoza za moyo wa wina ndi mnzake, kukumbukira zakale, ndi kukambirana za chirichonse pansi pano. Malingaliro osathetsedwa ndi kukangana pakugonana kudayamba mu equation asanamvetsetse zomwe akuchita komanso komwe zingawatsogolere. Pele bakazyiba kuti bakali kukkomana kapati.
Nkhani ya Ava si yake yokha. Zitha kukhala za Ashlyn kapena Adam kapena Ananya kapena Ayesha mosavuta. Imakhala ndi mawonekedwe azinthu zapaintaneti zomwe zikuchulukirachulukira pomwe moyo wathu ukuphatikizidwa kwambiri ndiukadaulo. Koma chomwe chimapangitsa kulumikizana kwenikweni, chomwe chimapangitsa anthu kuti azikondana nawo, ndi kukhala ndi ubale weniweni womwe umawonedwa ngati chinyengo, ndipo kodi kulumikizana kwamalingaliro ndi kugonana uku ndikokhazikika?
Tikufufuza mayankho a mafunso awa ndikuyang'ana kwambiri zomwe zimachitika pa intaneti pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa CBT, REBT ndi uphungu wa maanja, kuphatikizapo uphungu wa chibwenzi chakunja kwa ukwati.
Kodi Virtual Kusakhulupirika N'chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zomwe zikupangitsa kukwera kwa zochitika zapaintaneti ndikuti kusakhulupirika kwenikweni nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta kufotokoza. Mosiyana ndi chibwenzi m'moyo weniweni, palibe misonkhano yachinsinsi pazochitika zenizeni, palibe chinyengo 'chowona', palibe mabodza obisala komwe ali. Izi zitha kupangitsa anthu kufunsa: kodi kukhala ndi ubale weniweni kumaonedwa ngati kubera?
Kupatula apo, chikhalidwe chonse cha kulumikizana pa intaneti chingakhale chosinthasintha kwambiri moti sichingaphatikizidwe mu zomwe zimatchedwa chinyengo ndi zomwe sizingachitike. Nkhani za pa intaneti nthawi zambiri zimayamba ndi macheza wamba komanso kukopana kosavulaza , zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kudzilungamitsa okha ngati osadutsa malire. Akakokedwa kwambiri ndipo kulumikizana kwamaganizo ndi kugonana kumayamba, kusakhalapo kwa kulumikizana kwenikweni kumawapangitsa kuwona ngati kopanda vuto.
Mwachidule, pali malo ambiri otuwa omwe angapangitse kuti zochitika zenizeni ziwoneke ngati zopanda pake kuti zitsimikizire kuti wina sakupereka chikhulupiliro cha mnzawo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake zimakhala zofunikira kutanthauzira chomwe chiri kusakhulupirika kwenikweni. Mwachidule, kusakhulupirika kwenikweni kumatanthawuza maubwenzi apamtima ndi kugonana pakati pa anthu awiri omwe sangakumanepo m'moyo weniweni.
Kuti mupeze makanema ambiri a akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Nthawi zina, anthu awiri okwatirana pa Intaneti sangamve n’komwe mawu a mnzake kapena kuonana nkhope. Ichi ndichifukwa chake, ngakhale kuti ali pachibwenzi ndi mnzanuyo komanso kusakhulupirika ndi bwenzi lake loyamba, kubera pa intaneti sikungawoneke ngati nkhani yeniyeni kwa ambiri. Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati zopanda pake komanso zopanda phindu, kubera pa intaneti ndi, kumapeto kwa tsiku, ndi mtundu wina wachinyengo.
Chibwenzi chapaintaneti, chofanana ndi chinzake chenicheni, chikhoza kuwononga ubale. Nthawi yomwe imayikidwa mukulankhulana ndi intaneti imalanda nthawi ndi chidwi kwa bwenzi lenileni la moyo ndi banja, zomwe zingayambitse kunyalanyaza kwamalingaliro kulowa muzochitikazo. Osanenapo zachinsinsi ndi mabodza amawononga kukhulupirirana muubwenzi, mosasamala kanthu kuti kuberako kumawonekera kapena ayi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Nthano 20 ndi Zowona Zokhudza Kunyenga Muukwati
Kukopa kwa Zinthu Zapaintaneti
Ngakhale kuti zinthu zili pachiwopsezo chachikulu chotere, kukhalapo kwa zibwenzi pa intaneti ndi ukwati kapena ubale wa nthawi yayitali kukuchulukirachulukira. Kodi n’chiyani chimakopa anthu kuti azilumikizana pa intaneti? Ndipo n’chiyani chimawapangitsa kukhala okonda kwambiri? Nandita akufotokoza potchula zinthu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti nkhani za pa intaneti zikopeke:
1. Zosowa
"Monga zochitika zonse, zochitika zapaintaneti zimayambanso ndi chosowa chobadwa nacho." Chikhumbo chofuna kugwirizana kunja kwa banja kapena ubale wokhazikika nthawi zonse chimakhala chifukwa cha zosowa zosakwanira mu mgwirizano woyamba. Mwina, ubalewu ukudutsa pamavuto.
"Kapena, pakhoza kukhala vuto lalikulu muubwenzi - ukwati wopanda chikondi , mwachitsanzo - womwe umapangitsa anthu kutembenukira kwa ena. Nthawi yomweyo, chizolowezi chobera chimadalira momwe munthu alili wodzipereka komanso momwe amaonera zinthu."
Nandita anati: “Ngati munthu ali ndi mtima wodzipereka kwambiri, zimafunika kuchitapo kanthu kuti adutse kukhulupirika paubwenzi wawo.” Komano, munthu amene saona kuti kukhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi ndi wofunika kwambiri, akhoza kusokonekera mosavuta.
2. Chisangalalo
Nandita anati: “Chikoka cha zinthu za pa Intaneti chimayambanso chifukwa chosangalala kwambiri kucheza ndi anthu pa Intaneti.
Kafukufuku wochitidwa ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo ku The Open University ku UK wasonyezanso kuti kusakhulupirika pa intaneti kungakhale kovuta. Lipotilo la American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy limasonyezanso kuthekera kwa chizolowezi chogonana pa intaneti. Chisangalalo cha zomwe zachitikazi chimachita gawo lalikulu pa izi.
3. Kusadziwika
Nandita anati: “Kuphatikiza pa chisangalalo, kucheza ndi anthu osawadziwa n’komwe pa Intaneti kumapereka chitonthozo ndi chitetezo, chifukwa chakuti zimenezi sizikudziwika,” akutero Nandita. Mutha kukhazikitsa mbiri yokhala ndi dzina labodza ndi chithunzi ndikulumikizana ndi aliyense amene angakukondeni ndipo akufuna kukubwezerani.
Mwadzidzidzi, dziko likuoneka ngati nkhwangwa wanu chifukwa cha zibwenzi zanu, ndipo mumamva ngati mulibe chotaya chifukwa 'iwe weniweni' palibe nkomwe. Nandita anawonjezera kuti: “Kusadziŵika kumeneku kungachititsenso munthu kudziona ngati otetezeka kuti ukwati wanu kapena ubwenzi wanu wapachiyambi ndi wosakhulupirika.
4. Kufikira
"Nkhani zapaintaneti zikupezanso kutchuka chifukwa chosavuta kuzipeza zonse. Mukungofunika kutsegula chipangizo kuti mutengere malingaliro anu osaneneka kapena kufunafuna chitonthozo chamalingaliro kapena china chilichonse chomwe chingakupangitseni kuti mupange kulumikizana kwapa digito. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuphwanya malire kukhala kosavuta," akutero Nandita.
Monga zidachitikira pa Ava, zimatengera meseji imodzi kuti mulumikizanenso ndi wakale kapena swipe imodzi kuti mukhazikitse kulumikizana ndi wina watsopano. Simufunikanso kutuluka m'nyumba mwanu, kupeza malo anzeru oti mudzakumane, ndikuphika mabodza kuti mutseke mayendedwe anu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ndakwatira Koma Ndimakondana ndi Mwamuna Wina Ndipo Sindikunong'oneza Bondo
Mukhoza kuchita zachinyengo ndi mnzanu mukakhala naye pabedi. Chifukwa n'zosavuta, kuchita zachinyengo pa intaneti kumaonedwa ngati njira yowonjezera zomwe sizikukwanira muubwenzi wanu kapena kungothetsa kusangalala kwa moyo watsiku ndi tsiku.
Impact of Online Affairs
Zinthu zapaintaneti ndizosavuta, zosangalatsa komanso zosokoneza. Koma kodi ndizokhazikika, zopanda vuto komanso zosalakwa? Kodi chibwenzi chomwe chilipo pokhapokha chingasinthe kukhala chinthu chanthawi yayitali? Kodi kusakhulupirika kwenikweni kumakhala ndi zotsatira zotani kwa mnzawo wobera komanso amene akupusitsidwa?
"Momwe chibwenzi cha pa intaneti chimakhalira zimadalira kufunika kwake. Ngati ndi mgwirizano wopangidwa kuti ukwaniritse zosowa zakuthupi kapena zogonana, ndiye kuti, mwina, udzatha pakapita nthawi. Mnzanu wonyenga angapitirize kupanga maubwenzi atsopano, koma ubale uliwonse wokhazikika pa zosowa zakuthupi sukhala ndi moyo wautali."
"Komabe, ngati chibwenzi chapaintaneti chikukwaniritsa zofuna zapamtima - mwachitsanzo, ngati mukumva kuti simukukondedwa m'banja koma mnzanuyo akukupatsani chikondi komanso ubwenzi womwe mwakhala mukulakalaka - ndiye kuti mutha kukhala kulumikizana kwanthawi yayitali ngakhale kuti ndi chibadwa," akutero Nandita.
Ponena za momwe zochitika zapaintaneti zimakhudzira anthu onse awiri omwe ali pachibwenzi, akuwonjezera kuti, "Zotsatira zomwe zimachitika pa intaneti paubwenzi wa anthu okwatirana komanso momwe amaganizira za anthu okwatirana sizisiyana kwambiri ndi zochitika zenizeni.
"Ndinalangiza mwamuna yemwe anali pachibwenzi cha pa intaneti ndi mkazi ndipo ndinasokonezeka ndi kusagwirizana pa maubwenzi awiriwa. Anasonyeza zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za kulakwa kwachinyengo, ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo, anasangalala ndi kugwirizana kwake ndi mkazi winayo ndipo anapeza chikhutiro, popeza zosoŵa zake zamaganizo ndi zakuthupi zinali kukwaniritsidwa kupyolera mu nkhaniyi."
Komabe, nthawi zina zotulukapo za zochitika zapaintaneti zimatha kukhala zopweteka kwambiri kuposa nkhani ya kubera mlandu, makamaka ngati munthu amene akukhudzidwayo sakudziwa zomwe akuyembekezera komanso zomwe akufuna. “Winanso kasitomala wanga anayamba kucheza pa Intaneti chifukwa anali m’banja losokonekera.
“Nthaŵi iriyonse, kugwirizana kwatsopano kumampangitsa kukhala wosangalala ndi wosangalala koma pamene anapeza chikhutiro chakugonana kupyolera m’zochitika zimenezi, zosoŵa zake zamaganizo zinali zosakwaniritsidwa.” Mkhalidwewo unaipitsidwapo chifukwa chakuti sanali wokhoza kulekanitsa kugonana ndi maganizo, zimene zinadzetsa mkangano waukulu wamkati ndi kukhumudwa.
"Kupyolera mu chithandizo, tinatha kukhazikitsa malire omveka bwino pakati pa zosowa zake zakugonana ndi zamalingaliro, ndipo chimenecho chinali gawo lake loyamba kuti achire," akutero Nandita.
Amawonjezeranso kuti nthawi zambiri zochitika zapaintaneti zitha kupangitsa kuti mgwirizano pakati pa omwe ndi abwenzi oyambilira ukhale wolimba. "Nthawi zambiri, kubera kapena kuchita zibwenzi zofananira kungapangitse anthu kuyamikira okondedwa awo." Ngati chibwenzicho chiri gwero la chitonthozo kwakanthawi panthawi yamavuto am'banja, zitha kuthandiza okwatirana kukhala pafupi.
Ngakhale zifukwa zochitira chinyengo pa intaneti, ngati chibwenzi choterechi chadziwika, chikhoza kuvulaza kwambiri mnzanuyo. "Awiriwa akhoza kuchira ku vuto la kusakhulupirika koma chinsinsi cha kuchira ndi kulankhulana, kumvetsetsana komanso kukhululukirana kwambiri kwa mnzanu amene ananamizidwa."
"Okwatirana onse awiri ayenera kuvomereza mfundo yakuti ubale wawo subwereranso momwe unalili poyamba, ngakhale zitachitika m'malo owonekera. Ubwenzi ukhoza kusintha kukhala wabwino kapena woipa, koma kusintha kutero," akumaliza.
Zochitika zapaintaneti zitha kukhala zosokoneza kwambiri kuposa anzawo enieni, chifukwa chosavuta kupeza komanso kusadziwikiratu, komanso kuwononganso mnzake yemwe akuberedwa. Chifukwa chake, nthawi ina mukadzayesedwa kulowa mu ma DM a ex kapena kukopera pulogalamu ya zibwenzi, kumbukirani kuti kubera ndikubera. Yendani mosamala, podziwa zonse zomwe mukuchita komanso zotsatira zake.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
