Zikafika pankhani zapamtima, malamulo ena sangakambirane m'zikhalidwe ndi mayiko. Mwachitsanzo, kubera kapena kusakhulupirika kumaonedwa kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zolakwika zaubwenzi zomwe munthu angachite. Komabe, ngakhale kuti chifundo chimakhala ndi munthu amene akuberedwa, ndi ochepa chabe amene amalankhula za gudumu lachitatu muubwenzi ndi zotsatira zamaganizo za kukhala mkazi winayo panthawi yachinyengo.
Tinakambirana Sushma Perla, Mphunzitsi wa NLP, ndi mlangizi kuti aunikire malingaliro a mayi winayo. Ndi malangizo otani a momwe mungathanirane ndi vuto la kukhala mayi? Kodi liwongo la kubera litha? Izi ndi zomwe akunena, "Chowonadi n'chakuti palibe amene angaweruze zomwe zikuchitika m'banja. N'chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wodzipereka amayamba kukondana ndi munthu wina ndipo kusweka mtima kwenikweni kwa kukhala mbuye kumamva bwanji? Mwinamwake ukwati unali utalephera kale ndipo mbuye akuchitidwa chipongwe popanda chifukwa.
Kodi Kukhala Mkazi Wina Kumakhala Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
“Kuyambira kalekale mwambi wakuti ‘mkazi wina’ wakhala ukunyozedwa ndi kunyozedwa,” akutero Sushma. “Pali zokambirana zochepa kwambiri kulimbana ndi kusweka mtima kukhala mbuyanga kapena mkazi winayo akumva bwanji. Ndipo samalani, kaŵirikaŵiri kungakhale kowononga kwambiri thanzi lamaganizo ndi lamaganizo la mkazi.”
Tengani mwachitsanzo imodzi mwamakona atatu odziwika bwino achikondi m'mbiri yaposachedwa - ukwati woyipa wa Lady Diana ndi Prince Charles komanso kupezeka kwa mkazi wake wapano Camilla mu equation. "Panali anthu atatu muukwati uwu" anali mawu odziwika bwino a Diana m'mafunso omwe akunenedwa ngakhale lero.
Koma ngakhale Diana adakopa mitima ya mamiliyoni padziko lonse lapansi ngati mwana wamfumu wowawa, Camilla adawonetsedwa m'mabuku ambiri, zolemba, ndi makanema osasangalatsa. Dziko limangoganiza kuti mkazi winayo ndiye woipa m'nkhaniyi. Sitiima n’kumadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mkazi winayo amamva bwanji mkaziyo atadziwa n’kunena kuti (mkaziyo) ndi wowononga nyumba?”
Susanne, wotsogolera zamalonda wazaka 39 yemwe nthawi ina adagwa m'chikondi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, anafotokoza maganizo ake pa nkhaniyi. "Ndinakumana ndi zovuta pamene adabwera m'moyo wanga. Ndinkadziwa kuti anali wodzipereka koma nthawi zonse ankaona kuti ukwati wake sukuyenda bwino. Sindinadziwe kuti anali kusokoneza choonadi. Patapita nthawi ndinazindikira kuti ndine mkazi wina wapachibwenzi ndipo sandionanso chimodzimodzi. amakonda mkazi wake. "
“Podzafika nthaŵi imene ndinazindikira bwino lomwe chimene ndinadziloŵetsamo, ndinali kale wokhudzidwa kwambiri.” Inde, ndinali m’chikondi ndipo ndinali kuweruzidwa ndi aliyense mosalekeza.Ubwenziwo unasokonekera. Pamene mwamuna wokwatira achoka kwa mbuye wake, ‘amakhululukidwa’ ndi mkazi wake, ndipo mbuyeyo amakhala wopanda kanthu koma mbiri yoipitsidwa. kupembedza kwa zaka zambiri chifukwa cha chikondi,” akuwonjezera motero Susanne.
M’zochitika zambiri monga za Susanne, kupwetekedwa mtima kokhala mkazi winayo kumakhala kowawa mofananamo, kapenanso kuipiraipira, kuposa kuperekedwa kwa mkaziyo. Kupsyinjika kungakhale kosiyana kwa amayi onse koma palibe vuto lomwe silimapweteka kwambiri. Tiyeni timvetsetse psychology ya kukhala mayi mwatsatanetsatane.
20 Zotsatira Zamaganizo Za Kukhala Mkazi Winayo
Nthawi zambiri za chigololo, munthu amene ali pa mapeto a chiweruzo choipitsitsa ndi mkazi amene amagwera m'chikondi ndi munthu wodzipereka. (Chodabwitsa, mwamunayo amamasulidwa mosavuta, ngakhale kuti ndi amene adanyenga. Koma iyi ndi nkhani ina yonse). M'malingaliro odziwika bwino, mawonekedwe a mkazi winayo ndi achilendo kwambiri. Amasonyezedwa ngati wodzikonda, wosoŵa, wokakamira, ndi wosalabadira malingaliro a mkazi.
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M'malo mwake, mkazi amayenera kulekerera mawu achipongwe ndi mawu achidani akuyembekeza kuti tsiku lina mwamuna wake adzamasuka. banja losasangalala ndi kusankha iye. Koma kachiwiri, kusowa kwa chitsimikizo cha chiyembekezo ichi sikungamulole kugona usiku. Umu ndi momwe kukhala bwenzi 'wosaloledwa' kumakhudzira mkazi:
1. Kulakwa ndi kwakukulu
Sushma anati: “Chimodzi mwa zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti munthu asamavutike kwambiri ndi mkazi winayo ndi kudziimba mlandu. Ngati ndinu munthu wokhudzidwa mtima komanso wokhudzidwa mtima, kudziimba mlandu n’kukhulupirira kuti ndinu nokha amene mwachititsa kuti banja lithe kungakukhudzeni kwambiri.”
Ndiye, kodi kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kumakupangitsani kumva bwanji? Nkhawa. Kudziimba mlandu. Mosakayikira. Ndi nkhondo yosatha pakati pa mdierekezi ndi mngelo atakhala pa phewa lako. Pomwe mzimu umodzi umakukumbutsani kuti 'chilichonse ndichabwino m'chikondi ndi nkhondo', winayo amakutchani kuti ndinu woipa.
Kulakwa sikudzakulolani kutero sangalalani ndi zoyamba zachikondi muubwenzi momwe iwo amayenera kukhalira. Nthawi zonse padzakhala kumverera kovutitsa kotero kuti anthu, anzanu, ndi achibale sangavomereze ubalewo mokwanira, ngakhale atakuchirikizani. Kuphatikiza apo, mudzafuna kukhalabe okana kukhudzidwa kwa zomwe chibwenzi chanu chanthawi yayitali chikhala nacho kwa mkazi kapena banja, zomwe zingawonjezere kudziimba mlandu.
2. Masewera amalingaliro amatha kukutopetsani
Poyambirira, chisangalalo cha chikondi choletsedwa chingawoneke chokopa kwambiri, ndipo mwina ndilo yankho lanu ku funso lakuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndili bwino kukhala mkazi winayo?" Chisangalalo cha mayesero ndi chinsinsi ndizo phindu lokha mu makonzedwe oterowo. Kumverera kwa kuthamangira kumeneko kumafika kwa inu koma kukhudzika kukatha ndipo mavuto enieni kuwonekera, chinyengo ndi mabodza ofunikira kuti ubale upitirire kungakhale wotopetsa.
Mwamunayo adzayenera kunama nthawi zonse - kwa banja lake kapena kwa inu ndipo mudzayambanso kusakonda izi pakapita nthawi. Grace akufotokoza chifukwa chake anayenera kusiya. “Sindinkadziwa ngati ankandiona kuti ndine wofunika kwambiri, kapena ngati analidi ndi chibwenzi chathu.” Ankanena kuti ndine wapadera, koma sindinkaona kuti n’kofunika kwambiri kuposa ineyo.
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3. Mutha kukhala ndi nkhani zodalirika
Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kapena wodzipereka, mumadziwa zokhumudwitsa zomwe muyenera kuzibisa zivute zitani. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuti nkhani za trust chifukwa nthawi zonse mumayang'ana pamapewa anu. Kodi mudzakumana naye? Kodi pali wina amene angadziwe muofesi kuti muli ngati awiri? Kodi mudzatanthauziridwa kosatha ndi mawonekedwe a quintessential a kukhala mkazi wina mumgwirizano wamalingaliro?
Pomaliza, funso lofunika kwambiri limabwera. Kodi mungakhulupirire mwamuna wanu? Mudzadzifunsabe ngati akukhala ndi mkazi wake pamene sali ndi inu (mwayi, ali). Mungayambe kuchita nsanje ngakhale mumadziwa bwino za kukhalapo kwa 'mkazi' pa chithunzicho.
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4. Mumaopa chiweruzo chanu
Iwalani kudalira ena, mumayamba nthawi zambiri kukayikira chiweruzo chanu ndikudzidalira nokha kuti mupange zisankho zoyenera ndipo ndizopweteka zenizeni za kukhala mkazi winayo. Sushma akufotokoza nkhani ya kasitomala yemwe adakhudzidwa kwambiri atakhala mkazi winayo kwa zaka zambiri kenako ndikutayidwa. Anachita zonse zomwe angathe ndikudikirira kwa zaka zambiri khazikitsani ubalewo kukhala wovomerezeka. "
"Mwatsoka, mwamuna wake anasankha mkazi wake kuposa iye ngakhale maganizo ake osatsutsika kwa iye. Zinali zopweteka kwambiri ndipo iye anavomereza kwa ine kuti iye anadzudzula kusowa kwake kulingalira bwino chifukwa cha udindo umene iye anadzipeza alimo. Pamene mwamuna wokwatiwa achoka kwa mbuye wake, izo zingayambitse zopweteka zambiri kwa iye "iye akutero. Nthawi zambiri kusweka mtima kwa mkazi winayo kumatha kwa nthawi yayitali. Chifukwa chake, machiritso atakhala mkazi winayo amathanso kutenga nthawi ndipo palibe njira yowongoka. Mungazengereze kupempha thandizo chifukwa cha manyazi, ndipo ngakhale pamene mutero, mukhoza kulandira chiweruzo ndi udani m’malo mwa chifundo.
5. Chitsenderezo cha chinsinsi chikhoza kukhala chokhumudwitsa
Kupanikizika kosalekeza kwa kusunga a ubale wachinsinsi chikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zovuta kwambiri m'maganizo zotsatira za kukhala mkazi winayo.
- Malo anu ochezera a pa TV akhoza kufuula osakwatiwa pamene zoona ndi zoti simuli
- Simungawonekere pagulu komanso simungathe kuchita zinthu zina zomwe maanja amachita nthawi zonse
- Muyenera kupanga zifukwa pamene mnzanu kapena wachibale akuyesera kuti muyambe kukambirana ndi wina
Atafunsidwa mmene zimakhalira kukhala mkazi winayo, woŵerenga wina dzina lake Sophia (dzina losinthidwa) anatiuza kuti: “Kunena zoona, sindidzimvanso ngati ine ndekha.
Kodi mkazi winayo amamva bwanji ndi mkazi wake? Anthu amaganiza kuti alibe chidwi ndi momwe mkaziyo akumvera koma izi siziri zoona. Nthaŵi zambiri, akazi amene ali m’mikhalidwe yoteroyo amamva liwongo kwambiri polingalira za mkazi ndi banja limene lingavulale chifukwa cha iye. Ndiyeno pali vuto lalikulu limeneli simunaone likubwera. Matchuthi anu, tchuthi, ndi zochitika zina zabwinobwino nthawi zonse ziyenera kusangalatsidwa mwachinsinsi ndi mwamuna wanu. Pamakhalidwe komanso pawailesi yakanema, mungafunike kumangowona zithunzi za iye ali ndi banja lake. Zitha kukhala zowononga moyo wonse.
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6. Kuleza mtima kwanu kungathe
Mudzaphunziradi kukhala woleza mtima pankhani yochita nawo kapena kukumana ndi mwamuna wokwatira kapena wodzipereka. Zinthu zingakhale zosiyana ngati si chibwenzi cha nthawi yaitali koma kungothamangira kamodzi kokha, koma ngati mutalowa m’chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira mukuyembekeza kuti asudzula mkazi wake kapena kusiya mwamuna amene wadzipereka naye, dikirani kwa nthaŵi yaitali.
Makamaka ngati mwamunayo ali ndi nyumba ndi ana ndi mkazi wake, iye sangakhoze kuwalekeratu. Chifukwa cha ana, ayenera kumamatira. Maubale ozama si ophweka kusweka kotero muyenera kungotenga nthawi yanu. Koma mpaka liti?
Chloe (dzina lasinthidwa), mtolankhani wochokera ku New Delhi adatiuza kuti, "Ndine mkazi wina yemwe ali pachibwenzi koma ndatopa ndikukhala choncho. Zimandidetsa nkhawa nthawi zonse ndikudikirira kuti chibwenzi changa chisiye mkazi wake ndikukhala ndi ine moyo wake wonse zimangowoneka ngati maloto akutali omwe sangakwaniritsidwe. Nthawi zambiri amandiuza kuti amusiya koma amangomufunsabe usiku womwe ndimamuganizira. akhoza kukhalanso moyo wotero.”
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7. Kukhoza kukhetsa maganizo ndi thupi
Chimodzi mwazotsatira zamalingaliro akukhala mkazi wina ndikuti kudziimba mlandu, kukakamizidwa, ndi kusatetezeka kumatha kuwononga thupi ndi malingaliro. Mwinanso mungakwiyire munthu amene mumamuonayo kapena mwina mungadzikwiyire.
“Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zimene zimakuchititsani kuipidwa nacho n’chakuti simungapeze chithandizo chochepa pa zochita zanu.” Chiwerengero cha zinthu zimene zimasintha n’kukhala unansi wanthaŵi yaitali kapena ukwati watsopano n’chochepa kwambiri. Kugonana kunja kwa banja kwa moyo wonse Sushma anati: “Zimakhala zosoŵa kubwera n’chifukwa chake palibe ubwino wokhala mkazi winayo.” “Zili ngati kulowa m’maseŵero mukudziŵa kuti simudzalephera. Pokhapokha ngati simunafotokoze bwino zolinga zanu, ubwenzi woterowo ungakufooketseni ndipo mmenemo ndi mmene mumamvera kukhala mkazi winayo.”
8. Zimakhudza kudzidalira kwanu komanso kudzidalira kwanu
Mukudziwa kuti ndinu chinsinsi chake chaching'ono, chomwe mwina ngakhale iye amadziimba mlandu kwambiri. Ziribe kanthu zomwe amakumverani, kumapeto kwa tsiku, adzayesa kusunga chithunzi chake pamaso pa anthu ndikuika patsogolo banja lake. Pamene mukulephera kaŵirikaŵiri kumsonkhezera kuchoka muukwati, mudzayamba kudzikayikira.
Mbali yodziwika bwino ya psychology ya kukhala mbuyanga ndikuwonongeka pang'onopang'ono kwa kudzidalira. Monga tanenera kale, nthawi iliyonse an chibwenzi chapezeka, ndi amene amapeza ndalama zambiri. Mutha kuyesera kunyoza izi koma kumangoimbidwa mlandu ndikuweruzidwa nthawi zonse (osatchulanso zamwano ndi miseche zomwe zimadzetsa m'magulu a anthu) zitha kukhudzanso kudzidalira kwanu pazinthu zina za moyo. Zingakhudze ntchito yanu komanso kudzidalira kwanu.
9. Mungadzimve kukhala osungulumwa
Kukhala mkazi winayo kungakupangitseni kudzipatula. Chinsinsi cha ubale ndi kuopa chiweruzo zimakulepheretsani kufotokozera anzanu kapena achibale anu, ndikusiyani kukhala osungulumwa. Mungayambenso kupewa kucheza ndi anthu kuti mupewe mafunso kapena kukayikirana. Kudzipatula kumeneku kungakhudze kwambiri moyo wanu Thanzi labwino ndi kudzimva kukhala munthu.
Amelia, mphunzitsi, anati: “Sindinathe kulankhula ndi anzanga kapena achibale za unansiwo.
10. Mutha kuyamba kumudalira kwambiri
Pokhala ndi malingaliro ochepa, mungayambe kudalira mnzanuyo kuti akuthandizeni. Kudalira uku kungapangitse munthu kukhala wopanda thanzi mphamvu zamphamvu, kumene chisangalalo chanu chimamangiriridwa kwathunthu ndi kupezeka kwake ndi chidwi chake. Pakapita nthawi, kusalinganika uku kungakuchititseni kumva kuti mulibe mphamvu komanso kuti mwatsekeredwa. Hannah, wojambula zithunzi, akufotokoza kuti: “Ndinadalira pa iye m’malingaliro chifukwa chakuti iye yekha ndiye amene anadziŵa nkhani yonse.
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11. Mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa
Kupanikizika kosalekeza kwa kusunga ubale wachinsinsi, kuphatikizapo kusatsimikizika kwa tsogolo lake, kungayambitse nkhawa yosatha. Kuda nkhawa kuti apezeka kapena kuganiza mopambanitsa zochita zake kungayambitse kusagona tulo komanso zizindikiro zakuthupi monga mutu kapena kutopa. Kathy akufotokoza mmene chinsinsicho chinabweretsera kuzunzika kosalekeza. "Ndinkachita mantha nthawi iliyonse pamene foni yanga ikulira, ndikuganiza kuti mwina ndi mkazi wake watulukira chibwenzi."
12. Mutha kuyika manyazi
Chiweruzo cha Sosaite kaŵirikaŵiri chimagwera molimba kwambiri kwa mkazi winayo, ndipo m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, mungayambe kukhulupirira malingaliro oipa onena za inuyo. Izi internalized manyazi akhoza dzichepetseni ulemu wanu ndikupangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kudziwona wekha moyenera. Margaret, amene panthaŵi ina anali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, akuvomereza kuti: “Chiweruzo cha anthu chinaloŵerera m’maganizo mwanga.
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13. Zolinga zanu zaumwini zingakhale zovuta
Kuyang'ana pa ubale womwe umakhala wowononga komanso umawononga nthawi ndi mphamvu zanu kungayambitse kunyalanyaza zokhumba zanu ndi kukula. Mutha kudzipeza kuti mukusiya mwayi waumwini kapena akatswiri, zomwe zingayambitse chisoni pambuyo pake. Madison anaulula kuti: “Ndinakana kukwezedwa pantchito kuti ndikhalebe mumzinda womwewo kudzipereka kwambiri kwa munthu amene wapereka zochepa kwambiri.”
14. Mutha kulimbana ndi maubwenzi amtsogolo
Kukhala mkazi wina kungapangitse nkhani zodalirika komanso katundu wamaganizo zomwe zidzalowe mu ubale wamtsogolo. Zingakhale zovuta kukhulupirira kapena kumasuka kwa bwenzi latsopano, kuopa kubwereza zochitika zakale. Ava amagawana, "Pambuyo pake kusiya ubale, zinkandivuta kukhulupirira munthu watsopano. Ndinkangoganiza kuti mwamuna aliyense angandibisire chinachake.”
15. Makhalidwe anu angatsutsidwe
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kaŵirikaŵiri kumasemphana ndi miyezo yaumwini kapena ya anthu. Kulimbana ndi mfundozi kungayambitse mkangano waukulu wamkati, pamene mukuyesera kugwirizanitsa zochita zanu ndi zikhulupiriro zanu. Natalia anati: “Nthawi zonse ndinkadziimba mlandu ndipo ndinkaona ngati ndikuphwanya mfundo zanga.
16. Mungayambe kuopa kudzipereka
Kusakhazikika ndi kusadzipereka muubwenzi kungapangitse malingaliro anu pa chikondi ndi mgwirizano. Mungayambe kugwirizanitsa maubwenzi ndi kusatsimikizika ndi kusakhulupirika, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kudzipereka kwa wina watsopano.
Kwa Riley, kusowa kudzipereka mwa iye ubale wakale zinamupangitsa kuti azizengereza kulowanso m'mabwenzi apamtima. Sindinathe kusiya kuopa kuvulazidwa mofananamo.
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17. Mutha kuganiza bwino za ubale
Chinsinsi ndi chisangalalo cha ubalewu ukhoza kuupangitsa kukhala wapadera kuposa momwe uliri. Kukonzekera uku kungakupangitseni kukhala otanganidwa kwambiri, ngakhale ubalewo utakhala wopanda thanzi. Shawna akuvomereza kuti, “Ndinamamatira ku lingaliro la ‘chomwe chingakhale’ m’malo moyang’anizana ndi zenizeni za ‘chomwe chiri. Zinandipangitsa kuti ndikhalebe m’maganizo kwa nthawi yaitali.”
18. Mutha kukumana ndi mavuto azachuma
Ngati mupereka mopanda malire kuti musunge ubale kapena kubwezera kusapezeka kwake, zitha kuyambitsa mavuto azachuma. Kulipira zobisika kapena kubweza ndalama kuti mupewe kukaikira kungabweretse mavuto. Charlotte anati: “Ndinathera nthaŵi yochuluka pa maulendo obisala ndi kukapatsa mphatso kuti ubwenziwo upitirire.
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19. Zotsatira za mabwenzi amtsogolo
Kukhala mkazi wina sikumangokhudza maubwenzi anu achikondi; zingakhudzenso mabwenzi anu. Kubisala ndi kudziimba mlandu nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa kudzipatula, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kusunga maubwenzi enieni. Kuonjezera apo, abwenzi omwe azindikira kuti muli nawo paubwenzi woterowo akhoza kukuweruzani, zomwe zimabweretsa kusweka kapena kusweka.
Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani nkhani ya Beverly. “Mnzanga wapamtima atadziŵa za chibwenzi changa, anasiya kundilankhula.” Iye anati sakanatha kuchirikiza zosankha zanga, ndipo zimenezo zinandipweteka kwambiri kuposa mmene ndimaganizira,” akukumbukira motero Beverly. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, anazindikira kuti amayamikira kwambiri kukhulupirika ndi kugwirizana m’mabwenzi. “Ndinagwira ntchito molimbika kuti ndiyambirenso kucheza ndi anthu omwe amandithandizira kukula kwanga, ndipo ndinaphunzira kuika patsogolo kulankhulana momasuka. "
Kukonza ndi kulimbikitsa maubwenzi pambuyo pazochitika zotere kumafuna chiwopsezo ndi khama, koma ndi sitepe yofunikira pakupita patsogolo ndikulimbikitsa njira yothandizira yomwe imakukwezani.
20. Mutha kutuluka mwamphamvu pambuyo Pomaliza
Inde, ichi ndi chinthu chimodzi chomwe chiri chowona komanso chofunikira kukumbukira pa psychology ya kukhala mayi. Choncho ngati wina afunsa ubwino wokhala mkazi winayo, mwina ndi mmodzi yekhayo. Zingamveke zachilendo koma chimodzi mwa zotsatira zabwino za kukhala mkazi wina pachibwenzi ndi kuti ngati inu yendetsani zoyembekeza zanu bwino, kungakupangitseni kukhala wamphamvu. Koma chochititsa chidwi n’chakuti, muyenera kuona zinthu moyenera, chomwe ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuchita. Sulochana J (dzina lasinthidwa), katswiri pa telecom, anali paubwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira ndipo akuti zinamusintha kukhala wabwino.
"Ubwino woyambitsa chibwenzi ngati mkazi wina ndikuti umayamba ndi zolakwika poyamba. Ndinkadziwa kuti mnyamata yemwe ndimamuwona anali wachinyengo. Ndinaphunziranso kusunga zoyembekezera zanga kuchokera ku chiyanjano chochepa kwambiri kotero ndimayang'ana kwambiri nthawi zosangalatsa ndi iye. Ndinkadziwa kuti sangandipatse kudzipereka komwe kunali koyenera. Choncho ndinkaziona ngati ubale wamba. Komanso, ndikanatha kukhala woona mtima kwa iye - kuposa wina aliyense - chifukwa amandidziwa, chifukwa amandidziwa.
Kodi Mumatani Ndi Kukhala Mkazi Winayo?
Tsiku lina m’maŵa munadzuka n’kuona kuti ndi nthawi yoti musiye kukhala mkazi wina. 'N'chifukwa chiyani ndili bwino kukhala mkazi wina? Zokwanira! Ndiyenera kuchita bwino kuposa izi,' mukutero mukunyamuka pabedi. Mumazindikira kuti simuli okakamizika kuyika thanzi lanu lamalingaliro ku gehena yamalingaliro iyi. Ndiye njira yabwino yoyambira ndi iti machiritso ndi kuthetsa chibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali?
M’mikhalidwe yoipitsitsa, pamene chibwenzi chonga ichi chikutha momvetsa chisoni, mkazi winayo kaŵirikaŵiri amasoŵa chichirikizo ndi chikondi kuchokera kwa bwenzi lake ndi anthu onse. Pakhoza kukhala zochitika pamene akuyenera kukweza masokosi ake ndikuyenda patsogolo molimba mtima yekha. Nazi njira zina zopangira kuti kuyenda kukhale kosavuta:
1. Osadzichitira nkhanza
Sushma akuti lamulo loyamba la machiritso ndikudzichitira chifundo. “Tinene zoona, mudzaweruzidwa ndi dziko, choncho musaonjezere nkhaniyo, kumbukirani kuti simuli mbali ya chibwenzi, ndinu munthu woyenerera kukondedwa ndipo chilichonse chimene munachita chinali mbali ya ulendowo,” akuwonjezera motero.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zoyenera Kuchita Mwamuna Wako Akamacheza Ndi Mkazi Wina
2. Pumulani, mukuyenera
Olivia akuwulula kuti atasudzulana ndi chibwenzi chake chokwatirana, chinthu choyamba chomwe adachita chinali kupumira kwathunthu kuntchito ndi moyo wake. “Ndinkafuna malo kuganiza motalika komanso molimbika, chifukwa chondichitikira chonsechi chidandipweteka m'matumbo. Chibwenzi chonsecho komanso mathero ake anali okhudzidwa kwambiri kotero kuti njira yokhayo yoti ndidzitsekereze inali kusiya zonse kwakanthawi, ”akutero.
3. Funsani uphungu
Mavuto a ubale wovuta (ndi kusweka mtima kwa mkazi winayo) amatha kukhala ovuta kwambiri. Mungafunike thandizo kuti mudutse gawo lovutali la moyo wanu. Ndipo apa ndipamene uphungu ungathe kuchitapo kanthu pakuchiritsa atakhala mkazi winayo.
Ziribe kanthu kuti anthu ozungulira inu amakumverani chisoni chotani, aliyense amene sanayendepo mtunda umodzi mu nsapato zanu, sangathe kumvetsa zomwe mukukumana nazo. Ndicho chifukwa chake thandizo la akatswiri likhoza kukhala mpulumutsi umene mukufunikira kuti muthe kuthana ndi vutoli. Ngati mukulimbana ndi malingaliro anu, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa zambiri pa Bonobology uphungu gulu zili pano chifukwa cha inu.
4. Chotsani chidwi kuchokera kwa iye kupita kwa inu
Ngati mukuwona kuti simungathe kusiya wokondana naye kapena 'wotengedwa', ndizotheka kuti amayambitsa malingaliro kapena malingaliro ena mwa inu. Izi ziyenera kukuwonetsani kuti si munthuyo koma malingaliro omwe mumamukonda kwambiri. Ganizirani za inu nokha ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zamalingaliro kuchokera kumalo ena. Mukuyenera ku yesetsani kudzikonda kuchiza ku ululu wakukhala mkazi winayo.
5. Funafunani chikondi chenicheni
Mukasokoneza sewero chifukwa cha chikondi, mudzakhala okhumudwa nthawi zonse. Vomerezani kuti chimodzi mwamakhalidwe akukhala 'mkazi wina' ndikuti mumakhala ndi chizolowezi chokopeka ndi sewero. M'malo mwake, dziwani kuti muyenera kudzipatsa mwayi wopeza ubale weniweni komwe mumapeza zonse zomwe muyenera.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Kukhala mkazi wina nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa kudziimba mlandu kwambiri, kutopa m'malingaliro, ndi nkhani zokhulupirira, zomwe zimakhudza thanzi labwino komanso kudzizindikira.
- Kubisa chinsinsi ndi kusalidwa ndi anthu kungachititse kuti anthu azipatukana ndi mabwenzi ndi achibale, zomwe zimawonjezera kusungulumwa ndi manyazi.
- Kukhazikika kwa ubale komanso kusazindikira nthawi zambiri kumayambitsa kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira, zomwe zimapangitsa kuchira kukhala kovuta.
- Kuyenda mobisa ndi chinyengo kumabweretsa zovuta osati pa maubwenzi okondana okha komanso m'mabwenzi, zomwe zimatsogolera kusweka kapena kusweka kwa maubwenzi.
- Zotsatira zamaganizidwe, monga kuopa kudzipereka ndi nkhawa, zitha kukhala ndi chiyambukiro chosatha pa ubale wamtsogolo komanso kukula kwamunthu.
- Ngakhale pali zovuta, amayi ambiri amatuluka amphamvu komanso odziwa zambiri, pogwiritsa ntchito zochitikazo ngati mwala wopita patsogolo ndikumanganso miyoyo yawo.
Maganizo Final
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kumadzitsegulirani ku zowawa zambiri zamaganizo chifukwa cha zovuta kwambiri. Ngakhale mutadziwa bwino za zovuta zomwe zimakopeka ndi amuna odzipereka, kupitako kumakhala kovuta pambuyo pa mfundo. Funso lomwe muyenera kudzifunsa ndilakuti: Kodi mwakonzeka ndipo ndiyenera?
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
