13 Njira Zanzeru Zovomerezeka Zogwirira Mkazi Wonyenga

Ngati mukuyang'ana njira kugwira mkazi chinyengo, mwayi pali kale vuto m'banja mwanu paradaiso. Mwinamwake, mukuona zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi wosakhulupirika kapena chinachake chokhudza khalidwe lake chimakupangitsani kukayikira. Mwina, mukufuna kutsutsa kukayikira kwanu mwa kukumba mozama. Kapena mufunika umboni wotsimikizirika wa kulakwa kwanu musanakumane naye. Kaya zifukwa zanu zili zotani, ulendowu sungakhale wosavuta kuuyamba.

Kumbali ina, muyenera kudzikonzekeretsa nokha kaamba ka kuzindikira komvetsa chisoni kuti mkazi wanu waswa kukhulupirira kwanu ndi malumbiro a ukwati. Kumbali ina, pali liwongo la kuloŵerera m’chinsinsi chake. Bwanji ngati zonsezo zili pachabe? Bwanji ngati kukayikira kwanu kuli kopanda maziko? Kodi mungakhale bwanji nokha pambuyo pake? Zovuta izi ziyenera kukulemetsani maganizo. Koma njira ina ndiyo kukhala ndi kusakhulupirirana, kumene sikuli bwino kwenikweni. Nthawi zina zomwe ziyenera kuchitidwa, ziyenera kuchitidwa. Choncho, yesetsani kupeza momwe mungagwire mkazi wachinyengo.

13 Njira Zanzeru Zovomerezeka Zogwirira Mkazi Wonyenga

Zipangizo zamakono zachititsa kuti kubera kukhale kosavuta kuposa kale lonse. Ichi mwina ndichifukwa chake tikuwona kuchuluka kwa kusakhulupirika, mwina 70% ya okwatirana ku US kuchita nawo zinazake pa nthawi yaukwati wawo. Mu china kafukufuku pa kugonana kunja kwa banja, 13% ya amayi adanena kuti amachitira chiwerewere pa nthawi ina ya moyo wawo.

Popeza zakhala zophweka kuyamba ndi kuchita zibwenzi masiku ano pomwe zochitika zenizeni zikulamulira malo osakhulupirika ndikusiya zokonda zam'mbuyomu sikulinso zenizeni, kungakhale kusazindikira kukhulupirira kuti mutha kubera-kutsimikizira ubale wanu.

Komabe, teknoloji ikhoza kukhala lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse. Ngakhale zimathandizira zibwenzi zakunja, zimapangitsanso kukhala kosavuta kugwira a kunyenga mkazi, mosasamala kanthu kuti ali ochenjera chotani pa kubisa mayendedwe awo. Kotero ngati mudakhala momwe mungamangirire khalidwe lokayikira la mkazi wachinyengo ku umboni wowoneka, tcherani khutu ku njira 13 zanzeru komanso zovomerezeka zogwirira mkazi wachinyengo:

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1. Gwirani mkazi wachinyengo ndi foni yake

Ngakhale zili zowona kuti mafoni athu asintha kwambiri moyo wathu lero, mutha kuzindikira pomwe wina akuwateteza kwambiri. Ngati mkazi wanu sasiya foni yake ali payekha, sakulolani kuigwiritsa ntchito, ndipo nthawi zonse amaiika pakompyuta, mwina chinyengo pa foni, pansi pa mphuno yako.

Ngati mutapeza manja anu pafoni yake, mutha kusiya kudandaula za momwe mungagwire mkazi wachinyengo. Mudzakhala ndi umboni wonse womwe mungafune kuti mudziwe ngati zomwe mukukayikira zinali zopanda pake kapena ayi. Kuti mugwire mkazi wachinyengo pogwiritsa ntchito foni yake, khalani okonzeka kusiya kugona. Mukatsimikiza kuti wagona, pezani foni yake ndikuyitsegula (poganiza kuti mukudziwa passcode yake). Kenako, pezani ngodya yabata mnyumbamo ndikuwunikanso mameseji ake, zithunzi, ndi zina zambiri.

Ngati ali wosamala kwambiri, simungapeze umboni weniweni nthawi yomweyo, ngakhale akubera foni. Koma ngati mupitilizabe, mutha kungopeza uthenga womwe adayiwala kuchotsa, chipika chomwe adayiwala kuchotsa, kapena maliseche omwe adayiwala kuchotsa mufoda ya 'Posachedwapa'. Choncho, ngati matumbo anu akukuuzani kuti mkazi wanu ndi wosakhulupirika, sungani izo ndipo mukhoza kupeza umboni womwe mukuyang'ana.

2. Gwiritsani ntchito pulogalamu ya ID yoyimbira

Njira ina yopezera umboni wosonyeza kuti mkazi wanu wachita chiwerewere ndiyo kufufuza manambala amene wakhala akukumana nawo pafupipafupi. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zosavuta komanso zothandiza kwambiri njira kugwira mnzanu wonyenga. Pali njira zingapo zomwe mungachitire izi:

• Gwiritsani ntchito pulogalamu yaukazitape kuti muwunikire zipika zake
• Pezani foni yake mwachinyengo ndikuyang'ana zipika zoyimbira
• Chonde tsimikizirani zowona za mtengo wa foni yam'manja

Ngati muwona nambala yomwe imalumikizidwa pafupipafupi koma simukuizindikira, mwina ndi yomwe imayankha ngati wakhala akukunyengani kapena ayi, komanso ndi ndani. Kumbukirani: kusunga nambala ya Beau ndi dzina labodza lomwe silingadzutse kukayikira kulikonse ndi njira yakale kwambiri m'buku lamasewera la onyenga. Kotero, Michelle kuchokera kuntchito akhoza kukhala Michael. Kapena 'Bwana' atha kukhala dzina lolumikizirana lomwe limagwiritsidwa ntchito pazachikondi/zachibwenzi. Dziwani nambalayo ndikuyiyendetsa kudzera pa ID yoyimbira foni monga True Caller, Mobile Number Locator, kapena Hiya.

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3. Onani mbiri yake Chrome

Ngati simukupeza chilichonse chamtengo wapatali mu foni ya mkazi wanu, choyamba, khalani ndi mpumulo. Mwinamwake mukulephera kugona chifukwa cha kukayikira kopanda maziko. Koma zingatanthauzenso kuti mwina mukuyesera kutero gwira wachinyengo yemwe amachotsa chilichonse ndipo sasiya m’mbali mwa zolakwa zake. Ndibwino kubisa zoyambira zonse kuti muchepetse kukayikira kwanu. Kuti mudziwe ngati mkazi wanu akubera komanso ali bwino kwambiri pobisala, tembenukira ku mbiri yake ya msakatuli. Umu ndi momwe:

• Pezani mwayi—kapena chowiringula—choloŵa pa kompyuta ya mkazi wanu
• Pitani ku zoikamo tabu pa Google Chrome
• Kumeneko, kupita mapasiwedi ndi kusankha Autofill mwina
• Masamba onse omwe adachongera zosankha za 'ndikumbukireni' kapena 'ndisungeni kuti ndilowemo' awonetsedwa pano
• Simungangowona ID ya imelo yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito polowera komanso kubisa mawu achinsinsi osungidwa

Samalani masamba aliwonse achilendo kapena ma ID osadziwika pano, ndikuwalemba. Iyi ndi njira yabwino yodziwira ngati wakhala akugwiritsa ntchito tsamba lachibwenzi kunyenga pa intaneti kapena wakhala akugwiritsa ntchito chizindikiritso chobisika / mbiri yabodza kwa shenanigans zake. Komanso, onetsetsani kuti mwapeza mapasiwedi ake imelo, nkhani mtambo, chikhalidwe TV amangomvera, etc, ngati inu simukuwadziwa kale.

Izi zitha kukhala zothandiza kwambiri ngati mukufuna kugwira mkazi wanu akubera pazama TV kapena pazibwenzi. Mukakhala ndi zofunikira zolowera, zomwe zatsala kuti muchite ndikupeza nthawi yabwino yolowera ndikuyang'ana zochita zake. Kumbukirani kuti mapulogalamu ambiri amatumiza zidziwitso kwa ogwiritsa ntchito za malowedwe osadziwika kapena atsopano, chitani izi panthawi yomwe mkazi wanu sangathe kuwona zidziwitsozi ndikugwiritsa ntchito chipangizo chomwe sachizindikira.

4. Yang'anani pa kompyuta yake

Brian, wopanga mapulogalamu, adayika luso lake laukadaulo kuti aziyang'ana pa laputopu ya mkazi wake wachigololo chifukwa matumbo ake amamuuza kuti anali ndi chibwenzi. "Ndinali wotsimikiza kuti anali ndi chibwenzi koma ndinalibe umboni woti ndimuuze." Choncho, tsiku lina, pamene anali "kucheza ndi atsikana", ndinalowa mu laputopu yake ndikuyang'ana bwinobwino. Ndithudi, ndinapeza ID ya imelo yomwe ankagwiritsa ntchito kuti alankhule ndi mwamuna yemwe amagona naye komanso mauthenga obisika ndi chikwatu chobisika cha maliseche omwe anamutumizira. Umo ndi momwe ndinachitira mkazi wanga.

Mukakhala ndi mwayi wogwiritsa ntchito kompyuta yake, onetsetsani kuti mukuyang'ana zambiri kuposa mbiri yake ya msakatuli. Kuti mugwire wokondedwa wanu wachinyengo, muyenera kuyang'ana,

• Zikwatu zilizonse zobisika pa hard drive
• Kusungira mitambo
• Mafayilo omvera
• Downloads

Ngati akukuberani, izi zitha kukhala ndi zithunzi za iye ndi bwenzi lake, matikiti amaulendo awo, kapena zina zokhudzana ndi chibwenzicho. Komanso, samalani ndi zinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati zachizoloŵezi. Mwachitsanzo, chikwatu chotchedwa 'Client Files' chikhoza kukhala ndi zonyansa zonse zomwe mungafune pankhaniyi. 'Makanema Olimbitsa Thupi' atha kukhala chikwatu chonyenga kubisa zithunzi zogonana kapena maliseche omwe amagawana ndi wokondedwa wake. Onetsetsani kuti mwakopera zonse mu hard drive kapena cholembera kuti muthe gwiritsani ntchito ngati umboni mukakumana naye za chibwenzicho.

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5. Unikani chuma chake

Pamene mukuyesera kuti muone momwe mungagwire mkazi wachinyengo, kupatula kutsatira mauthenga a mauthenga ndi mbiri ya osatsegula, tcherani khutu ku ndalama zake ndi njira ya ndalama. Zinthu ndizokwera mtengo ndipo mwayi ndikuti mnzanu yemwe akubera akuwononga ndalama zina kuti misonkhano yachinsinsi isamayende. Ayenera kuti anagwiritsa ntchito makhadi ake angongole kulipirira pogona kuhotelo, nkhomaliro, chakudya chamadzulo, ndi mphatso. Choncho, jambulani khadi lake la ngongole ndi masitatimendi akubanki ndi chisa cha mano.

Ngati mkazi wanu ali wochenjera pobisa mayendedwe ake, mwachiwonekere angakhale akulipira zonsezo ndi ndalama. Pitani ku sitetimenti yake yaku banki kuti muwone kuchotsera kulikonse kosadziwika. Kenako, yerekezerani kuti muwone ngati izi zikugwirizana ndi masiku omwe "akugwira ntchito mochedwa" kapena "kudya chamasana ndi abwenzi". Kutsata njira yandalama ndi imodzi mwa njira zotsimikizika zogwirira wachinyengo. Mukungoyenera kulumikiza madontho, kumangiriza momwe amawonongera ndalama ndi zolakwika zomwe zimaloza ku khalidwe la mkazi wonyenga ndipo machenjerero ake onse adzagwa ngati nyumba ya makadi.

6. Gwirani mkazi wachinyengo pogwiritsa ntchito malo ochezera a pa Intaneti

Momwe mungamugwire akubera mukapeza chilichonse chokayikitsa pazida zake, mukufunsa? Itha kukhala nthawi yoti muyang'anenso njira yanu, chifukwa mkazi wanu atha kukhala akubera pazama media. Malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi malo otchuka kwambiri, chifukwa amapereka moto wakale njira yosavuta kugwirizana ndi kumangotenga zinthu kuchokera pomwe anasiyira, kuwonjezera pa kupatsa anthu mwayi wolumikizana ndi aliyense, kulikonse padziko lapansi. Mwayi wa kusakhulupirika kwake atayamba pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi wapamwamba kusiyana ndi momwe angagwiritsire ntchito mapulogalamu a zibwenzi kuti apeze chibwenzi.

Mutha kutsata zolemba zake zonse mosavuta ndikulowa muakaunti yake yapa media media ndikuwona omwe amacheza nawo komanso momwe amachitira zinthuzi. Pamene inu muli pa izo, musaiwale kutsegula Facebook Messenger ndi kuyang'ana 'Zokambirana Chinsinsi'. Pali mwayi woti mwina adatumiza kuyanjana kwake ndi wokondedwa wake ku tabu iyi, chifukwa zimamupulumutsa ku zovuta zochotsa macheza maola angapo aliwonse.

Ngati izi sizikusokoneza chilichonse, mutha kupanganso akaunti yabodza kuti mugwire wachinyengo. Kodi zimenezo zingathandize bwanji, mukufunsa? Ngati mkazi wanu ndi wachiwerewere ndipo amasangalala ndi chidwi cha amuna ena, mutha kumuwuza za mbiri yabodzayi ndikuwona momwe angayankhire. Ngati amakukopani ndi kukubwezerani zomwe mumakukondani, mwayi wake ndi wakuti wakhala akukukondani nthawi ziwiri m'mbuyomu. Kupatula apo, ndi mkazi wanu atagwidwa akubera, sangathe kukana zolakwa zake kapena kukunenerani kuti ndinu wongopeka.

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7. Gwiritsani ntchito mapulogalamu aukazitape kuti aulule kusakhulupirika kwa mkazi

Mapulogalamu aukazitape amatha kukhala othandiza kwambiri ngati mukuyesera kufufuza mkazi wanu wachinyengo ndikupeza umboni wa kusakhulupirika kwake. Amakulolani kuti mupeze foni ya mnzanuyo kutali popanda iwo kudziwa. Ndi mapulogalamu aukazitape monga Spy Tracker, Spyic, ndi MSpy, mutha kuchita zambiri kuposa kungowerenga mawu ake osinthana munthawi yeniyeni.

Mwachitsanzo, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito pulogalamu ya mSpy kuti mugwire mkazi wanu akubera pa WhatsApp kapena mapulogalamu ena otumizirana mauthenga. Mukayika ndikuyambitsa, pulogalamuyi imakupatsani mwayi wofikira patali zolemba ndi zithunzi za whatsapp, komanso mauthenga ochokera pamasamba ochezera monga Facebook, Instagram, ndi Snapchat munthawi yeniyeni. Imaperekanso kutsatira kwa GPS, kukulolani kuti muwone komwe ali pa Mapu a Google.

Inde, awa mapulogalamu kugwira chinyengo mwamuna kapena mkazi sizili zaulere. Onse amabwera ndi zolipirira zapa-app, ndipo mudzafunsidwa kuti mulembetse akaunti ya premium kuti mugwiritse ntchito zonse. Komabe, ngati mwatopa njira zina zonse kuti mugwire mkazi wachinyengo koma simunachite bwino, ndiye kuti ikhoza kukhala nthawi yoti mukweze masewera anu. Konzekerani kugoba mtanda, kuti mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mapulogalamu apamwamba kuti mugwire mkazi wanu wachinyengo. Bhonasi ndikuti mudzakhala ndi umboni wonse womwe mungafune kuti mukumane naye za kusakhulupirika kwake ndikumupangitsa kuti adziyeretse.

8. Tsatani mayendedwe ake

Mukudabwa momwe mungagwire mkazi wachinyengo mukapeza kuti palibe cholakwika pazida zake? Ziribe kanthu momwe angayesere kuphimba makhalidwe a mkazi wonyenga, sadzatha kufafaniza mapazi ake. Chifukwa chake, itha kukhala nthawi yoti mutenge kafukufuku wanu kuchokera kudziko lenileni kupita kudziko lenileni. Kuchokera pa GPS Navigation kupita ku mbiri ya Uber, pali njira zambiri zomwe mungayang'anire mayendedwe ake ndikugwira mkazi wachinyengo.

Ngati amayendetsa yekha galimoto yake, sankhani mbiri ya malo ake pa 'nthawi Yanu' pa Google Maps. Mayendedwe omangidwira m'galimotomo amathanso kukhala mgodi wagolide wazidziwitso ngati mukuyang'ana mayendedwe ake. Ngati ayenda m'magalimoto, mutha kutsata komwe adakhala mwa kungopeza tabu ya 'Maulendo Anu' pa pulogalamu yake ya Uber. 

Koma bwanji ngati bwenzi lake ndi amene amamuyendetsa pa zibwenzi? Chabwino, muli ndi mwayi ngati mkazi wanu amagwiritsa iPhone. Pulogalamu ya 'Pezani iPhone Yanga' imatha kutulutsa zidziwitso zochititsa chidwi za malo omwe amapitako komanso omwe sanakufotokozereni. Ndani akudziwa, ngati mutatsatira njira yake, mutha kugwira mkazi wanu ndi bwenzi lake. Ndi mkazi wako yemwe wagwidwa akubera, palibe mwayi woti atuluke pobwera ndi zifukwa.

9. Yang'anani zithunzi zobisika

Kodi mwamuna angagwire bwanji mkazi wake akunyengerera? Kupeza umboni wazithunzi za zolakwa zake ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yochitira. Chifukwa chake, mukamasanthula foni ya mkazi wanu kuti muwone ngati akubera, yang'anani mosamala kudzera pazithunzi zake. Mukawona malo ambiri, chilengedwe, kapena zithunzi za nyama, tcherani khutu.

Ndi zida monga Quick Stego ndi Deep Sound, kubisa mawu, mafayilo amawu, kapena zithunzi pazithunzi zowoneka ngati zosalakwa ndi chidutswa cha mkate. Chimbalangondo chokongola cha Koala chija chomwe chili patsamba lanu la zithunzi chikhoza kukhala maliseche kwa okondedwa ake. Muyenera kupeza kachidindo kuti muthe kuwona zomwe zili m'mafayilo awa azithunzi. Ngakhale simungathe, kukwera kwadzidzidzi kwa zithunzi zoterezi ndi chizindikiro chokwanira kuti chinachake chalakwika.

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10. Mugwireni pamene akulemberana mameseji

Ngati mwayesapo zonse ndipo mukuvutikabe ndi yankho la momwe mungadziwire ngati mkazi wanu akubera, yesani izi. Ingogwirani foni m'manja mwake pomwe akulemberana mameseji mwachidwi, ndikuwerenga mamesejiwo. Umu ndi momwe Adamu adatsimikizira kukayikira kwake kuti mkazi wake amamunyengerera. “Anali atayamba kuthera nthawi yambiri pafoni yake, chomwe chinali chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti chinachake chazimitsidwa.” Chodabwitsa n’chakuti, ngati ndilowa m’chipindamo, ankangoikha pansi foni yake pansi, ndipo foni yake inkakhala chete.

Choncho, tsiku lina ndinazembera kumbuyo kwake n’kumulanda foni m’manja mwake, n’kutheka kuti anali m’kati mwa nthunzi. kutumizirana zithunzi kukambirana ndi mwamuna wina. Ndinamugwira mkazi wanga akunyengerera powerenga mameseji ake. Zinali zododometsa kwambiri m’banja mwathu zomwe tidakali nazo, koma kusadziŵa kunali koipitsitsa.” Ikhoza kukhala kuti si njira yaukhondo kapena yanzeru kwambiri yopezera mkazi wachinyengo koma idzathetsa ntchitoyo.” Monga momwe amanenera, nthaŵi zowawitsa zimafuna kuchitapo kanthu.

11. Mutsate iye mozungulira

Pomaliza, yesani njira ya kusukulu yakale kuti muulule chigololo cha mkazi wanu. Pezani nthawi yopuma osamuuza ndipo muzimutsata mochenjera kuti muwone komwe akupita ndi amene akukumana naye. Ndani akudziwa kuti kutenga nawo mbali kumatha kubweretsa zotsatira zabwinoko kuposa kungoyang'ana kulikonse.

Chenjezo: Kugwiritsa ntchito njira imeneyi kuwululira chowonadi chokhudza chinyengo cha mnzanu wa muukwati kungakhale ndi zotsatira zalamulo. Komanso, zitha kukhala zabwino kuti ziwunikire nkhaniyo koma mwina sangasunge madzi ngati umboni m'khothi lamilandu panthawi yamavuto. chisudzulo, ngati mutasankha kuchita zimenezo.

12. Gwiritsani ntchito mautumiki a clouds kuvumbulutsa kusakhulupirika kwa mkazi wanu

Mtambo ukhoza kukhala chida china chofunikira chogwirira mnzake wachinyengo kapena kupeza zowonetsa zolakwa zawo, makamaka ngati muli ndi akaunti yamtambo yogawana monga Kugawana Kwabanja pa iCloud. Komabe, kukhala ndi akaunti yogawana sichofunikira kuti mupeze umboni wakubera. Ngati muli mumkhalidwe wosimidwa, mutha kuganiza zolowa muakaunti ya mtambo ya mkazi wanu kuti muwone umboni wa kusakhulupirika. Nazi zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana:

• Zithunzi ndi mauthenga alumikizidwa kuchokera ku chipangizo chake
• Zochitika zilizonse zobwerezabwereza kapena zosankhidwa zomwe zimawoneka zachilendo kapena zosafotokozeredwa
• Zolemba, maulendo, kapena mauthenga omwe angakhale okhudzana ndi zochitika zachilendo kapena kusakhalapo mosadziwika bwino
• Mbiri yamalo pazosemphana zilizonse ndi mapulani olankhulidwa
• Malo osungira pachipangizo, omwe amatha kuwonetsa mauthenga aposachedwa, mafoni, kapena manambala atsopano
• Kulumikizika kwa zida zaposachedwa kapena zachilendo kapena malo omwe malowedwe adachitika

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13. Ngati zonse zitakanika, lembani wofufuza payekha

Ngati mukukayikira kwambiri kuti mkazi wanu amakunyengererani koma simunapeze umboni womveka, mungafune kuganizira zofufuza za kusakhulupirika kuti mutsimikizire kapena kutsutsa zomwe mukukayikira. Kulemba ntchito wofufuza payekha kuti apeze zachinyengo kungakhale kothandiza ngati mkazi wanu wakhala wanzeru pobisa zomwe amatsatira. 

Wofufuza wachinsinsi angathandize kuvumbulutsa kusakhulupirika posonkhanitsa umboni mochenjera kudzera pakuwunika, kuyang'ana zakumbuyo, ndi kutsatira digito, zonse zomwe zili m'malire azamalamulo. Mwachitsanzo, amatha kujambula kapena kujambula zochitika, kuyang'ana zochitika zachilendo m'ndandanda, kapena kufufuza maulendo osadziwika bwino. Mwanjira iyi mutha kukhala ndi chidziwitso chokhazikika, chosakondera, chomwe chingakhale chofunikira pothana ndi kukayikira mwachindunji. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kukumbukira polemba ntchito wofufuza payekha kuti afufuze mkazi wanu:

• Yang'anani ofufuza omwe ali ndi chilolezo, odziwika bwino mdera lanu omwe ali ndi chidziwitso pamilandu yachigololo
• Onetsetsani kuti wofufuzayo ali ndi zilolezo zoyenera ndi ziphaso
• Lembani mfundo zimene zingathandize, monga ndandanda ya nthawi zonse ya mkazi wanu, mabwenzi odziwika, ndi malo amene amapitako kuti kufufuzako kuyende bwino.
• Nenani mosapita m'mbali pa zomwe mukufuna kudziwa - kutsimikizira kusakhulupirika, kudziwika kwa munthu/akazi anu omwe akukhudzidwa nawo, chikhalidwe cha kusakhulupirika, ndi zina zotero.
• Kambiranani njira zosonkhanitsira umboni zomwe wofufuza akufuna kugwiritsa ntchito, monga kutsatira GPS kapena ma stakeouts, ndi mtundu waumboni womwe angapereke, kuwonetsetsa kuti zitha kugwiritsidwa ntchito ngati mutasankha kuchitapo kanthu.

Malangizo 5 Okuthandizani Mkazi Wanu Akagwidwa Akunyenga

Tsopano popeza muli ndi yankho la momwe mungagwire mkazi wachinyengo, tiyeni tikambirane funso lina loyaka moto: chotsatira? Kufufuza kumeneku kungakhale ndi zotulukapo ziwiri zokha—mumazindikira kuti kukayikira kwanu kunalibe umboni kapena mukupeza umboni wakuti mkazi wanu akukunyengani.

Ngati ndi zakale, mumangokhala ndi liwongo ndi manyazi akukayikira kudzipereka kwake kwa inu ndi banja lanu kuthana nalo. Zowonadi, kukayikira kotereku kukuwonetsa kuti muli ndi zovuta zamalingaliro zomwe muyenera kuthana nazo. Ena introspection ndi ntchito anu kusatetezeka pa ubale ndizovomerezeka koma sizinthu zomwe zikuwopseza tsogolo la banja lanu.

Kumbali ina, kudziŵa kuti mkazi wanu akukuberani kukhoza kukhala vuto lalikulu limene lingakulepheretseni kumva ngati kuti dziko lanu lonse lasokonekera m’kanthaŵi kochepa. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti mwakonzeka kuthana ndi vutoli mwanzeru momwe mungathere, apa pali malangizo 5 oti mupirire mkazi wanu akagwidwa akubera:

1. Tengani nthawi kuti ilowe mkati

“Ndinagwira mkazi wanga akubera” sichinthu chomwe mungangochinyalanyaza ndikupitiriza kuchita zomwe zikuyenera kuchitika. Ululu, mkwiyo, kusakhulupirika, kunyozeka, kunyozedwa—pali zomvedwa zambiri kotero kuti zimene atulukirazi zimalimbitsidwa. Kulowa mfuti zonse zikuyaka kukangana ndi mkazi wako mukakhala mumkhalidwe wofowoka woterowo udzangovulaza kwambiri kuposa zabwino.

Choncho, mukapeza umboni weniweni wotsutsa mnzanu wachinyengo, khalani ndi nthawi kuti mulole kukula kwake kulowerere. Pitani kokayenda, khalani kutali ndi nyumba, patulani kwa iye kwa kanthawi - chitani chilichonse chomwe mukufunikira kuti mutenge maganizo anu ndikufika pozindikira zenizeni. Izi zidzakulepheretsani kupanga zosankha mopupuluma kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe munganong'oneze nazo bondo pambuyo pake.  

2. Kulankhulana osati kukangana

Pamene maganizo anu ayamba kukulamulirani ndipo mantha amene mwapezawo atatha, lankhulani ndi mkazi wanu za zolakwa zake. Mmene mungathere, yesetsani kukambitsirana naye mwauchikulire ponena za nkhaniyo m’malo mopitiriza kumukwiyitsa ndi kukambitsirana naye. Muuzeni modekha komanso momasuka kuti mukudziwa za chibwenzi chakecho ndipo muuzeni kuti anene.

Mpatseni nthawi kuti amve zowawa zomwe zamugunda. Ngati asankha kukana kapena kuyamba kupereka zifukwa, musonyezeni umboni umene mwapeza. Anthu achinyengo amatha kunena zinthu zochititsa mantha akakumana nawo, choncho konzekerani kuti mwina mkazi wanu akhoza kukunyengererani kapena kukunyengererani kuti mutulukemo. Khalani okhazikika ndi okhazikika mu zenizeni zanu.

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3. Mvetserani

Polimbana ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, muyenera kulinganiza mkwiyo wanu ndi kupweteka ndi kufunikira kwa mayankho. Mutha kukhala nazo zingapo mafunso kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wosakhulupirika; mwa njira zonse, muwafunse iwo onse. Komabe, khalani womasuka kuti mumvetsere pamene akufotokoza mbali yake ya nkhaniyo. Musamaweruze kapena kutsutsa zomwe mnzanu wachinyengo akunena za chisankho chake kuti apereke chikhulupiriro chanu.

Kumbukirani kuti pali zochepa zomwe anganene kapena kuchita zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva bwino panthawiyo kapena kuchepetsa ululu umene wakukhumudwitsani. Koposa zonse, ntchitoyi ikupatsani chidziwitso komanso malingaliro pazomwe adachita. Ngakhale kuti sizingamveke ngati choncho, ili ndi sitepe yoyamba yofunikira pakuchira.

4. Osadziimba mlandu

Kaya mumagwira mkazi wanu akubera pa WhatsApp, kuchita nawo ntchito pa intaneti, kapena kukhala ndi ubale weniweni ndi mwamuna wina, vumbulutsoli lidzakukhudzani m'njira zomwe simukanaziganizira. N’chifukwa chake m’pofunika kuti muzikumbukirabe kuti zimene wasankha kuchita chinyengo si umboni woti mwalephera kukhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Kubera nthawi zonse ndi chisankho, ndipo palibe kuchuluka kwa nkhani zaubwenzi kapena zophophonya zomwe zingalungamitse. Choncho, musalole kuti izi zisokoneze kudzidalira kwanu komanso kudzimva nokha. Dzichitireni mokoma mtima ndi chifundo, mukufunikira kwambiri panthawi ino.

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5. Lankhulani ndi dokotala

Ndinamugwira mkazi wanga akuchita zachinyengo, nditani tsopano? Mutha kupeza kuti mukuwononga nthawi yambiri mukuvutika ndi funso ili. Poganizira mmene zinthu zonse zingasokonezere ubwenzi wawo ndi kusakhulupirika, n'zosadabwitsa. Mukazindikira kuti mkazi wanu adakunyengani, malingaliro anu amatha kukhala ndi mafunso monga:

• Kodi muyenera kuthetsa ukwati ndi kupempha chisudzulo?
• Muyenera kukhala ndikugwira ntchito kumanganso ubale wanu pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika?
• Kodi mungamukhululukire? Kodi muyenera?
• Nanga bwanji za moyo umene munamanga pamodzi?
• Ngati pali ana okhudzidwa, zingawakhudze bwanji?
• Komano, kodi muyenera kukhala m’banja chifukwa cha ana?

Pali mafunso ambiri ndipo palibe mayankho osavuta. Choipa kwambiri n’chakuti, simungapite kwa munthu mmodzi amene anali woimbira nyimbo nthawi yonseyi—mkazi wanu—kuti akupatseni malangizo. Zikatero, zingakhale zothandiza kwambiri komanso zotonthoza kupita kwa akatswiri ophunzitsidwa bwino kuti akuthandizeni.

Kaya mukuvutikira kusankha momwe mungathanirane ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mkazi wanu kapena mukulimbana ndi kukhumudwa chifukwa chakusakhulupirika, kupita kuchipatala kungakupatseni chidziwitso chodziwikiratu kuti muthane ndi malingaliro anu ndikusankha chochita. Ngati mukuyang'ana thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso ovomerezeka Gulu la Bonobology zili pano chifukwa cha inu.

Maganizo Final

Kupeza momwe mungagwirire mkazi wachinyengo si ulendo wosavuta kuwuyamba. Mungathe kutaya moyo wanu monga mukudziwira. Komabe, ngati kukaikira kwachigololo kwa mkazi wanu kukusokonezani mtendere wamaganizo ndi mkhalidwe waubwenzi wanu, uwu ndi ulendo umene simungauleke kwa nthaŵi yaitali. Tikhoza kukulangizani kuti mupitirize mosamala ndikukhala okonzeka kuthana ndi zotsatira zilizonse.

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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