“Kodi bwenzi langa lapamtima likundikonda?” Kafukufuku wosangalatsa akusonyeza kuti awiri mwa atatu mwa maanja omwe ali mu chitsanzochi adayamba ngati mabwenzi. Chiwerengero cha anthu omwe ali ndi zaka 20 ndi omwe adachita nawo LGBTQ+.
Mabwenzi apamtima amakondana. Ndipo ambiri a iwo amagwa m’chikondi. Mabwenzi apamtima omwe amayamba kukondana ndi okongola monga momwe zimakhalira bwino. Kuthekera kwa anzanu kukhala okondana ndikwambiri chifukwa mumathera nthawi yambiri muli limodzi, mumadziwana bwino komanso mumakonda kukhala limodzi. Kodi chikondi chingakhale bwanji kumbuyo?
Koma kodi mungangomufunsa mnzanuyo ngati amakukondani choncho? Naya! Simukufuna kuyika ubwenzi wanu pachiswe pofunsa mosapita m'mbali zinthu zazikulu ngati izi! Koma mukhoza kuona zizindikiro zobisika kuti mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani mwachikondi, mosamala. Pakhoza kukhala zizindikiro zambiri zosakanikirana ndipo mukhoza kulakwitsa chifukwa mumamva kuti mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani.
Bwenzi lanu lapamtima limakhalapo pamavuto anu, amakuthandizani komanso ndi mlangizi wanu nthawi zina. Iyenso ndi bwenzi lanu losangalatsa. N’chifukwa chake zimakhala zovuta kudziwa ngati akukuchitirani chilichonse monga bwenzi lake kapena ngati amakukondani.
Zizindikiro 12 Zosonyeza Kuti Bwenzi Lanu Lapamtima Amakukondani
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Anthu ena amwayi kwambiri amapeza anzawo amzimu mwa abwenzi awo apamtima. Ndipo ngati mukuganiza ngati ndinu m'gulu la anthu, muyenera kuyang'anitsitsa bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Kungonena kuti, "Ndikuganiza kuti mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda", sikokwanira kuti mudziwe ngati ali ndi malingaliro.
Hollywood yakhala ikufufuza mobwerezabwereza nkhani ya mabwenzi apamtima omwe akukondana. Kuyambira pa filimu yotchuka ya Best Friends (1982) yokhala ndi Burt Reynolds ndi Goldie Hawn mpaka mafilimu aposachedwa monga Single All The Way (2021) yokhala ndi Michael Urie ndi Philemon Chambers, lingaliro la chikondi pakati pa mabwenzi apamtima ndi losangalatsa.
Nthawi zonse pali zizindikiro kuti mnzanu amakukondani mwachikondi. Nazi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mukhoza kukhala mmodzi wa iwo. Ngati mukuganiza kuti "Kodi mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda?" , mufufuze nokha.
1. Mukufuna kukhala nokhanokha
Monga abwenzi apamtima, nonse mumafuna kuthera nthawi yanu yambiri muli limodzi. Simusamala kuti ndi ndani wina amene alipo bola bwenzi lanu lapamtima lilipo. Koma posachedwapa zinthu zasintha ndipo bwenzi lanu lapamtima limatsimikizira kuti muli nokha mukamacheza.
Mnzanu wapamtima akuletsa mapulani amagulu kapena kukuchotsani pazomwe mumachita kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yocheza nanu kapenanso kukumva mukulankhula. Koma izo ziyenera kukhala inu basi. Ngati mukudabwa kuti, "Ndikuganiza kuti mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda" simukulakwitsa.
2. Imakupatsirani mayamiko apadera
Kodi mukudabwa kuti, "Kodi mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda kapena zonse zili m'maganizo mwanga?" Mnzako wapamtima nthawi zonse amakhala kumbali yako koma akayamba kukuyamikirani makamaka pamawonekedwe anu abwino ndiye kuti china chake chasintha muubwenzi. Tsopano sangakuchotseni maso mutavala bwino. Mungathe kuona china chake kuposa ubwenzi ndi mmene amakuonerani.
Koma ngakhale mutadzuka muli osokonezeka komanso ofooka, sangakuyang'aneni kutali. Bwenzi lanu lapamtima lingakuthokozeni nthawi zonse koma simuyenera kunyalanyaza momwe akukuwonerani panopa. Ngati zimenezo zasintha ndiye kuti chilichonse pakati panu chimasintha. Mukusintha kuchoka paubwenzi kupita paubwenzi.
3. Zovuta kukhudza thupi
Anzanu apamtima nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mwayi wofikira malo anu enieni. Mumasokoneza malo amunthu wina ndi mnzake tsiku lililonse osaganiza kawiri. Ndipo mwachiwonekere mungazindikire ngati zinthu zisintha pamenepo.
Ngati bwenzi lanu lapamtima safuna kukhudza thupi ndipo sakumva bwino kukhala pafupi ndi inu ndiye kuti malingaliro ake pa inu asintha. Tsopano popeza amakuganizirani zakugonana, sangayerekeze.
4. Mumapeza bwenzi lanu lapamtima nthawi zina
Kodi mumapeza bwenzi lanu likuyang'anani? Kaya muli m’gulu la anthu kapena muli nokha, kodi mumapeza bwenzi lanu lapamtima likuyang’anani mwamphamvu koma mwamsanga mungowapeza akukuyang’anani? Inu mukudziwa zomwe zikutanthauza, chabwino?
Chifukwa chake, yankho la "Kodi mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda?" ndiye kuti mnzako wapamtima amakukonda kale ngakhale akukana. Kukuyang'anani nthawi iliyonse kumasonyeza kuti mnzanu amakukondani mwachikondi.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati bwenzi lanu lapamtima limakukondani kuposa mnzanu? Mnzanu wapamtima sangakuchotseni maso chifukwa akukuonani koyamba ngati munthu wolakalaka. Pamene kuyang'ana pa inu kutengeka kutengeka ndi kulota za mmene moyo wawo ukanakhala ngati inu awiri adadina.
Mukawayang'ana m'mbuyo, amabwerera ku zenizeni pomwe inu nonse awiri mudakali mabwenzi chabe osati china chilichonse. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mwamuna amene akufuna zambiri kuposa ubwenzi wanu.
5. Mnzako wapamtima amadziwa ndipo amakumbukira zonse
Mnzako wapamtima amakumbukira zonse za iwe ndipo ndizomwe zimayembekezeredwa koma tsopano akufuna kuti uzindikire izi. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati bwenzi lanu lapamtima limakukondani kuposa mnzanu? Ngati mnzanu wapamtima ayamba kukupemphani ngongole kapena kuvomereza chifukwa chokudziwani bwino kuposa wina aliyense padziko lapansi, ndiye kuti akukondani.
Ndipo akuyesera kukudziwitsani kuti muzindikire. Kusamala kwake mwatsatanetsatane zikafika kwa inu ndikokwanira kuti mudziwe kuti bwenzi lanu lapamtima limakukondani kuposa bwenzi.
6. Chikondi ndi kugonana kumakhala kokambirana
Inu awiri nthawi zonse mumagawana nthabwala zamkati. Pali zinthu zomwe inu nokha mungagawane. Koma ngati bwenzi lanu lapamtima layamba kugwiritsa ntchito nkhani zachikondi kapena zogonana zomwe inu nokha mungamvetse ndiye kuti ayenera kukhala ndi chikondi ndi inu.
Iwo akuyeserabe kubisa malingaliro awo koma amatuluka ngati innuendos ndipo sakhala mwadala nthawi zonse. Mfundo apa sikuti ndikuchititseni manyazi koma kwenikweni ndi njira yodziwira ngati mukumva chimodzimodzi kapena ayi. Ndipo ndi chizindikiro chokweza kwambiri kuti bwenzi lanu lapamtima likugwerani.
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7. Simusamala kugawana chakudya
Kodi ndinu bwenzi loterolo amene amagaŵana chakudya nthaŵi zonse? Kodi bwenzi lanu lapamtima layamba kusunga zinthu zomwe mumakonda? Kodi bwenzi lanu lapamtima tsopano likuyang'ana zifukwa zoti zikukhudzeni; kupukuta masaya ako kapena kuika chakudya mkamwa mwako? Kenako, yankho la "Kodi mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda?" ndizowoneka bwino.
Kodi mukuona kuti chinachake chimachitika kwa mnzanu wapamtima pamene manja anu agwira mwangozi mkati mwa bafa la popcorn? Mukamadziwa bwenzi lanu lapamtima muwona zinthu zambiri podziwa kuti amakukondani.
8. Mnzakoyo amakhala ndi “nsanje” nthawi zina
Kodi mnzako wapamtima wayamba kuchita nsanje ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina, kumangoganizira za munthu wina kapena kungoyang'ana munthu wina? Tsopano mungaone kuti bwenzi lanu lapamtima silingalole munthu aliyense amene mumamufuna kapena kumufuna. Mnzako wapamtima akayamba kukukondani, n’zosakayikitsa kuti angachite nsanje.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani? Mnzanu wapamtima nthawi zonse amadzifananiza ndi aliyense amene mumamukonda kutali. Kwenikweni, pakali pano ayamba kudzilingalira okha m'malo omwe amakukondani. N’chifukwa chake amakwiyitsidwa ngakhale akaganizira za wina aliyense.
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9. Makolo amakonda bwenzi lanu
Nthawi zina mumaona kuti makolo anu angakondedi bwenzi lanu lapamtima kuposa mmene amakukonderani. Ndipo ngati mnzako wapamtima akukukondani ndiye atengapo mwayi pa izi.
Mnzanu wapamtima tsopano akuyesera kukutsimikizirani kuti iwo ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yomwe mungakhale nayo malinga ndi zomwe makolo anu amanena za bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Ngati mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani ndiye kuti chivomerezo cha makolo anu chimakhala chofunika kwa iwo.
10. Lonjezani ukwati
Kodi munapangana mgwirizano ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima kuti nonse mutakhala osakwatiwa ali ndi zaka 30 mukwatirane? Mwinamwake mawu amenewo ananenedwa mwachipongwe ndipo sanali kanthu koma macheza aubwenzi.
Koma tsopano pamene mnzako wapamtima amakukondani, amakukumbutsani lonjezo limenelo ndipo mumayamba kuganiza kuti sanalabadire lonjezolo. Tsopano popeza ali okonzeka kuwonera tsogolo limodzi, bwenzi lanu lapamtima akufuna kuti mumvetse pamene nonse muyimirira.
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11. Kuchita zinthu ziwirizi
Kodi bwenzi lanu lapamtima limayesetsa kuchitira zinthu limodzi ngati banja? Kenako amakwiya ndi kukhumudwa pamene simukumvetsa maganizo awo. Nthawi zina mumadabwa kuti mnzanu wapamtima amafuna kuti inu nonse mukhale ndi maonekedwe a banja ngakhale simuli choncho.
Koma ndi chinyengo kuti mnzanu wapamtima akufuna kukhalabe chifukwa ndicho chinthu chotsatira chabwino kwambiri paubwenzi womwe akufuna kukhala nawo koma osadziwa ngati angapemphedi.
12. Kusunga malonjezano a wina ndi mzake
Monga ndimanenera nthawi zonse, ubwenzi ndikukhala ndi Kryptonite (a la Superman) ndipo osagwiritsa ntchito motsutsana nawo. Bwenzi lanu lapamtima ndi wosunga zinsinsi zanu zazikulu. Mutha kuiwala zinthu zomwe bwenzi lanu lapamtima limasunga. Mumakhala pachiwopsezo chachikulu mukakhala ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Koma mumawakhulupirira kuti asatengerepo mwayi pa izi. Ngakhale pamene bwenzi lanu lapamtima liyamba kukopeka ndi inu m’njira yoposa kukhala mabwenzi, samakufunirani zabwino.
Izi siziri kokha chifukwa chakuti safuna kuti musiye kukhala bwenzi lanu komanso chifukwa chakuti safuna kuti mutayike malo anu odalirika ndi otonthoza ndi iwo. Amasungabe mawonekedwe aubwenzi ngakhale zitadziwika kwa wina aliyense kuti bwenzi lanu lapamtima limakukondani. Mtundu, chipembedzo, mtundu kapena jenda sizili malire pa chikondi, musalole kuti ubwenzi usokoneze nkhani yabwino.
“Mnzanga Wapamtima Amandikonda Koma Sindimamva Momwemo”
Mnzanga Paul wandiuza kuti, “Kodi mnzanga ndi chikondi ndi ine? Inde. Vuto langa ndilakuti mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda koma ine sindikumva chimodzimodzi. Ndichite chiyani? Kodi ndi chinthu chofala?” Inde, Paul, ndi chofala kwambiri. Ndipotu, kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu asanu ndi atatu mwa khumi aliwonse adakumanapo ndi chikondi chosabwezera kwa mnzawo, akafika zaka 20.
Ndiwerengereni mu kalabu imeneyo, chonde. Mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda koma sindikumva chimodzimodzi. Izi zapangitsa kuti zinthu zikhale zovuta, pomwe ndimangokhalira kudzudzulidwa chifukwa chomupatsa zizindikiro zosiyanasiyana. Kuti mupewe zochitika zopweteka ngati izi, izi ndi zomwe mungachite mukaona zizindikiro zomwe mnzanu wapamtima akukukondani koma osamva chimodzimodzi:
- Osawakopa kapena kuwasocheretsa popereka zidziwitso zosiyanasiyana/ziyembekezo zabodza
- Khalani owona mtima, omveka bwino ndi okoma mtima ndi iwo powauza kuti simukumva chimodzimodzi. Izi zidzathetsa kutengeka kwawo pazakuti “Kodi mnzanga amandikonda?”
- Ngati mwakhalapo kuwatsogolera mosafuna, ingopepesani chifukwa cha kusamvetsetsana. Osawasiya akuganiza kuti “Kodi mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda?”
- Mukazindikira bwino zomwe mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani, apatseni nthawi ndi malo kuti atsimikizire kuti chikondi chawo chili cha mbali imodzi.
- Lembani malire ndipo pewani kusokoneza kusiyana pakati pa ubwenzi ndi chikondi; zidzasokoneza ndi kuwazunza kwambiri
Pomaliza, ngati mukufunabe malangizo amomwe mungadziwire ngati mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani, mutha kugwira ntchito ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo ndikumvetsetsa zambiri zomwe mungachite pankhaniyi. Katswiri wovomerezeka angapangitse vutoli kukhala losavutitsa pang'ono. Alangizi athu ochokera ku gulu la Bonobology ali pafupi nanu.
Ibibazo
Mudzadziwa kuti mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani pamene akufuna kukhala nokha ndi inu ngakhale pagulu. Iwo amalankhula za chikondi, adzakhala wovuta ndi kukhudza thupi. Ngati mumamva chimodzimodzi kwa iwo ndiye kuti chikondi ndi bwenzi lapamtima ndi lingaliro lalikulu. Apo ayi chidzakhala chikondi cha mbali imodzi.
Ngati akubwezerani malingaliro anu, akufuna kuthera nthawi yochuluka ndi inu ndikuchitira nsanje anzanu ena ndiye kuti mudzadziwa kuti mnzanu wapamtima amakukondani.
Mabwenzi apamtima amatha kupanga okonda kwambiri. Abwenzi apamtima amagawana ubale wapamtima poyamba kenako umakhala ubwenzi wakuthupi. Chifukwa chake, ngati yankho la "Kodi mnzanga wapamtima amandikonda?" zikuwoneka bwino komanso mumamva chimodzimodzi, mutha kuyesa kuwombera.
Mudzadziwa kuti amakukondani akakhala ndi inu nthawi yayitali, amakuyamikirani nthawi zonse ndipo amafuna kuchita nanu zinthu ziwirizi, monga kupita kukadya chakudya chamadzulo ndi makanema.
Njira 15 Zapamwamba Zofotokozera Zomwe Mumamvera Kwa Munthu Amene Mumakonda
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Ndinawerenga..
Ngakhale mnzanga wapamtima amachita izi..
Koma sindikuganiza kuti amandikonda..Amanditenga mopepuka..ngati samasamala za ine, kaya ndimwalira kapena ndikhala ndi moyo…koma kupatula mfundo ziwiri zapitazi… mfundo zina ndi zomveka..