Zizindikiro 6 Zomwe Mumatsogolera Munthu Mosadziwa Ndi Zoyenera Kuchita

Kodi tanthauzo la kutsogolera munthu pankhaniyi ndi chiyani? Zimandikumbutsa za sewero lina lochokera mufilimu ya 500 Days of Summer , pomwe Summer anati, “Tili chabe…” pomwe Tom anadula mawuwo ponena kuti, “Ayi! Musandichite zimenezo! Umu si momwe mumachitira ndi mnzanu! Kupsompsonana m'chipinda chokopera? Kugwirana manja mu IKEA? Kugonana mu shawa? Tiyeni!”

Mwachionekere, kusakhala pa tsamba limodzi kungakhale kovulaza ndi kosokoneza. Mu maubwenzi amasiku ano, pomwe anthu sakonda kuyika zilembo pachilichonse, zimachitika kuti munthu wina amagwera mnzake. Ndipo womalizayo amadzudzulidwa chifukwa chopereka zizindikiro zosakanikirana. Koma kodi tanthauzo lenileni la kutsogolera munthu pa chibwenzi ndi chiyani? Ndipo mungaleke bwanji kutsogolera munthu?

Kuti tipeze chidziwitso chatsatanetsatane chotsogolera munthu pa tanthauzo, tidalankhula ndi mphunzitsi wa thanzi la maganizo ndi kusamala Pooja Priyamvada (wovomerezedwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney). Iye ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, kusudzulana, kupatukana, chisoni ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe.

Kodi Kutsogolera Munthu Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Malinga ndi Pooja , "Kutsogolera munthu pa tanthauzo ndiko kupangitsa munthu kukhulupirira kuti zolinga kapena malingaliro anu ndi osiyana ndi momwe alili. Ponena za chibwenzi ndi maubwenzi, zimatanthauza kupangitsa wina kukhulupirira kuti mukumukonda pamene mukudziwa bwino kuti simukumukonda."

Zimandikumbutsa mawu a nyimbo ya Ruth B, “ Mixed signals , mixed signals. Akundipha. Sindikudziwa chomwe mukufuna. Koma ndikudziwa chomwe ndikufuna. Kutsanzikana, moni, ndikukufunani, ayi sindikufuna. Nthawi iliyonse ndikayamba kutseka chitseko. Umagogoda ndipo ndimakulola kulowa. Kukukonda ndi tchimo langa lalikulu…”

Ndipo n'chifukwa chiyani mungatsogolere wina kuganiza kuti mukufuna zambiri, pamene mukudziwa kuti simukufuna? Nazi zina mwa zifukwa zomwe zingatheke:

• Mumakonda chidwi
• Mukuyesera kuthana ndi ex
• Mumaopa maganizo anu
• Simukudzidalira
• Muli ndi chizolowezi chodziwononga nokha
• Mumaopa kwambiri kuwakhumudwitsa powauza choonadi
• Mumangokhala ngati anthu akugwerani, koma ndiye mumatopa
• Simunafune kuwatsogolera, koma mudatuluka mphindi yomaliza poganiza za ubale weniweni.
• Ndiwe wotopa komanso wosungulumwa ndipo mukufuna munthu yemwe atha kupezeka nthawi iliyonse kuti akwaniritse malowo
• Inu simunawatsogolere iwo. Ndinu abwenzi chabe ndi iwo, ndipo sanakumvetseni cholinga/mawu anu

Kaya chifukwa chanu ndi chotani chotsogolera munthu, nazi zina mwa zizindikiro zomwe mukuchita, osazindikira.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa Chiyani Ndimadziwononga Ubwenzi Wanga?” – Mayankho a Akatswiri

Ndi Zizindikiro Zotani Zomwe Mumatsogolera Munthu Mosadziwa?

Pooja akufotokoza kuti, "Chabwino, izi ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zomwe mukutsogolera wina - Mumanena zomwe mukuganiza kuti akufuna kumva, ziribe kanthu momwe mukumverera. Simumapanga mapulani ndi munthu uyu. Simukukonzekera tsogolo ndi iwo, koma pakalipano, iwo akukulepheretsani. Simungadzione nokha kukhala chinthu ndipo ndithudi musatanthauze 'ife', koma mukupitirizabe tsogolo." Kodi izi zikutanthauza chiyani? Tiyeni tidziwe podumphira mozama muzizindikiro zomwe mukutsogoza wina mosadziwa.

1. Kumacheza nawo nthawi zonse

Kuuza munthu tsatanetsatane wa moyo wanu tsiku lililonse kungalepheretse ubwenzi wanu. Ngakhale ubwenzi uli ndi malire ake. Kodi mukukopana mosadziwa? Mwina mukudzifunsa kuti, "Ndimakonda kusewera nawo. Nthawi zonse timakopana, koma mwanjira yabwino. Kodi kukoperana kumatsogolera wina? Ngakhale tikakhala m'magulu, chidwi changa chimakhala pa iwo. Kodi ndingakhale kuti ndikuwatsogolera?"

Pooja akulangiza kuti, “Kusewera nthawi zambiri kumawoneka ngati kusonyeza chikondi/kugonana.

Kunena kuti ndimakukondani mukakhala kuti muli ndi maganizo a platonic basi kumasocheretsa mnzanuyo m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Komanso kukhalabe pa foni kwa maola ambiri kungachititsenso munthu kukhulupirira kuti ndinu wodzipereka kwambiri kwa iye.

2. Kucheza nawo basi

Pooja anati: “Kucheza ndi munthu wina si nthawi zonse kumatanthauza kuti mukuwatsogolera, koma kwa anthu ena, kukopeka ndi munthu wina kumasonyeza kuti mumamukonda.

Kwa inu, kupita nawo paulendo wautali ndi nyimbo kungakhale ulendo wabwino kwambiri. Koma kwa munthu winayo, kungatanthauze zambiri. Angalakwitse kukhulupirira kuti ndi chibwenzi. Angalakwitse powerenga pakati pa mizere kapena kupeza mawu ofunikira m'zochita zanu zosavuta ndikukhulupirira kuti mukuwapatsa 'mphamvu'. Angalakwitse poganiza kuti zinthu zikuwayendera bwino inuyo, komanso iwo. Chikondi chosabwezera chimapweteka, pambuyo pake.

3. Kusamvetsetseka pa kufotokoza ubale

Kungakhale ubale wamba kuchokera kumbali yanu. Koma ngati musiya kuzifotokoza, zikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mukutsogolera munthu. Kunena zinthu monga “Sindikufuna kufotokoza za ubale” kapena “Zizindikiro zimawononga chilichonse” kapena “Tiyeni tizingoyenda” zingathe kusokoneza munthu kumbali ina.

Ngati mukumva kuti muli paubwenzi ndi munthu wina ndipo mukudziwa kuti munthu winayo amakukondani, samalani pang'ono komanso momveka bwino za zolinga zanu. Ndipo ngati ndi zakuthupi chabe, fotokozani bwino zimenezo. Kutsogolera wina ndi nkhanza. Kumusunga kuti akuwonetseni kudzikuza n'kosayenera. Kutsogolera wina kuti akuyamikireni kungachokerenso ku kudziona kuti ndinu wosafunika komanso kusadzidalira.

Pooja akugogomezera kuti, “Anthu onse amamva bwino pamene akondedwa ndi kutsimikiziridwa, makamaka kwa munthu amene amam’konda.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo Ochitira Zinthu Mogwirizana ndi Maganizo Kuti Musinthe Ubale Wanu

4. Zizindikiro zomwe mukutsogolera munthu? Non-platonic kukhudza

Kodi kukopana kumatsogolera munthu? Nanga pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa kukhala waubwenzi ndi kukopana? Pooja akufotokoza kuti: “Kusiyana pakati pa kukopana ndi kukhala waubwenzi n’kwakuti kukopana kumakhala ndi maonekedwe achikondi.

Chifukwa chake, kukhudza munthu mwanjira yosakhala ya platonic kungakhale chimodzi mwazizindikiro kuti mukutsogoza wina mosazindikira. Kuthamanga kwambiri, kusisita kumbuyo, kuika mutu wanu paphewa, kapena kuwakumbatira nthawi zambiri kumatengedwa ngati platonic koma onetsetsani kuti simukusokoneza mizereyo ndikumaliza kuwasocheretsa. 

Kupatula apo, si mabwenzi onse apamtima omwe amasanduka maanja, monga mu kanema wa One Day . Chifukwa chake ngati muli mabwenzi ndi winawake ndipo kukhala pafupi naye kumabwera mwachibadwa kwa inu, onetsetsani kuti nonse muli ndi lingaliro lofanana pankhani ya 'mabwenzi'. Zitha kukhala kuti ndi mnzanu wapamtima . Koma mfundozo zitha kusokonekera mosavuta. Ndipo palibe amene akufuna kusweka mtima chifukwa cha chikondi cha mbali imodzi, monga Julia Roberts mu My Best Friend's Wedding kapena Lily Collins in Love, Rosie.

5. Kusonyeza nsanje

Kodi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zotsimikizirika zotsogolera munthu ndi chiyani? Kuwonetsa nsanje mnzako akamacheza ndi munthu wina kapena akumenyedwa. Nsanje zanu zitha kukhala za platonic koma zitha kuwasokeretsa kuganiza kuti mukukhala nawo ndikuchita kuchokera kumalo achikondi.

Mnzanga Sarah akukumana ndi vuto lomweli. Sakufuna kudzipereka kwa mnzake wapamtima Paul. Koma wina akamamuyang'anira Paul, amakwiya kwambiri ndipo amamva nsanje kwambiri. Amamenyana naye ndipo amamva kuti ndi wolamulira pamene mkazi wina akupanga mkazi pakati pa dziko lake. Sarah sakungotsogolera munthu mwangozi komanso amadzitsogolera yekha. Musakhale Sarah, ndipo musazunze mnzanu wapamtima komanso inu nokha. Kutsogolera munthu wina ndi nkhanza. Chifukwa chake, yang'anani zizindikiro zomwe mtsikana akukutsogolerani ndipo akusewera ndi mtima wanu.

6. Kuchita ngati banja

Ngati mupatsa munthu wina chiyamiko ndi mphatso, chikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomutsogolera wina. Mwalola zotchinga ndi malire kupita chifukwa mumamasuka nazo. Koma iwo akhoza kuzitenga mwanjira ina. 

Kodi kutsogolera wina pa nkhani yanji? Ngati nonse muli ndi ndewu ndipo mukuthetsa mavuto ngati mmene awiriwa amachitira. Ngati mukutsatirana ndikupemphana kuti musataye mgwirizano, nonse mukutsogolerana ndipo mungavulale pankhaniyi. Musakhale pachibwenzi popanda kudziwa. Ndipo musakhale ndi mavuto paubwenzi mukakhala kuti simuli pachibwenzi. Choncho, nthawi zonse yang'anani zizindikiro zakuti chibwenzi chosavuta chikuyamba kukula.

Zoyenera Kuchita Mukamatsogolera Munthu?

Mukazindikira kuti mukutsogolera munthu, dzifunseni mafunso ndikudziwonetsera nokha. Kodi mumawakondadi kapena mumakonda kutsogoza wina kuti amvetsere? Kodi mukufuna kukhala ndi china chake pamizere ya ubale ndi iwo? Ngati yankho ndi inde, chonde fotokozani momveka bwino zolinga zanu. Ndipo ngati yankho liri ayi, muyenera kuchita zotsatirazi.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 9 a Akatswiri Oti Mudziwe Zomwe Mukufuna Mu Ubwenzi

1. Khalani owona mtima

Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mwazindikira kuti mukutsogolera munthu pa chibwenzi? Pooja akuti, "Si bwino kutsogolera munthu, osati kwa iwo okha komanso kwa inu. Ndi bwino kumveketsa bwino za ubale wanu ndi momwe mumachitira nawo, ndipo ngati muli ndi malingaliro ochepa chabe kuti winayo akuwona izi mosiyana ndi momwe inu muliri, ndiye kuti muyenera kumveketsa bwino poyambira."

Ndipo bwanji ngati simukudziwa bwino za momwe mukumvera? Nanga bwanji ngati mukufuna kupita ku ma deti ambiri kuti mumvetse bwino zonse? Pooja akuti, "Nthawi zambiri munthu sadziwa bwino za momwe mukumvera. Munthu ayenera kukhala woona mtima ndi kunena momveka bwino za chisokonezochi. Ngati mukufuna ma deti ambiri kuti mumvetse bwino, munthu winayo ayenera kuuzidwa zimenezo. Munthu ayenera kupitiriza ngati nayenso ali ndi lingaliro lomwelo pankhaniyi, kapena ayi." Chifukwa chake, khalani omveka bwino komanso oona mtima m'malo mosewera masewera amisala muubwenzi.

2. Kodi kusiya kutsogolera munthu pa? Pepani ngati mukuyenera

Kodi muyenera kupepesa ngati mwatsogolera wina? Pooja akuyankha kuti: “Ngati alingalira chinachake chimene simunachifune, kuli bwino kulongosola nthaŵi yomweyo.” Muyenera kuwasonyeza momveka bwino kuti mumangowaona ngati bwenzi lanu. Inde, muyenera kupepesa ngati munawatsogolera mwangozi.

Mungathe kunena chinachake pamizere ya "Hey, pepani kwambiri ngati ndakutsogolerani mwanjira ina iliyonse. Mwakhala bwenzi lalikulu kwa ine ndipo ndikupepesa ngati ndakupangitsani kuti mukhulupirire mosiyana. Ngati zochita zanga zakupwetekani mwanjira ina iliyonse, chonde mvetsetsani kuti sichinali cholinga changa."

3. Apatseni mpata

Pooja anati: “Ngati ali bwenzi lanu lapamtima ndipo amakudziwani bwino ndipo amakukondabe choncho, sikungakhale kopanda maziko kotheratu.

Kodi mungasiye bwanji kutsogolera munthu? Ngati nonse muli abwenzi, zitha kukhala zovuta. Koma ngati mnzanu akuona kuti akufuna kuti asakumane naye kwakanthawi, musamukakamize. Lemekezani kufunikira kwawo kwa mtunda ndikubwerera mmbuyo. Aloleni atenge malo awo kuti akulamulireni. Sibwino kuwakakamiza kuti akhale gawo la equation yomwe ili poizoni kwa iwo ndi thanzi lawo lamaganizo. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi 'Kusunga Malo kwa Winawake' Kumatanthauza Chiyani Ndipo Kungatani?

Ndipo ngati abweranso, kambiranani momveka. Ndi ntchito ziti zomwe zimapanga kutsogolera munthu? Kodi mungajambule kuti malire? Kodi mungapewe bwanji kusokoneza mizere?

Kuti mudziwe zambiri zokhudza kutsogolera munthu wina, mutha kugwiranso ntchito ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo ndikumvetsetsa zambiri zomwe mungachite kuti musiye. Ngati izi ndi zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri m'moyo wanu, katswiri wovomerezeka akhoza kupeza zifukwa za khalidwe lotere. Alangizi athu ochokera ku gulu la Bonobology ali pafupi nanu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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