Malire 15 Oti Mulumbirire Bwenzi-Aakazi Amuna

Kodi malire a chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi ndi akazi ndi otani? Kuti tiyankhe funso limeneli, choyamba tiyeni tifunse funso lodziwika bwino lakuti, “Kodi amuna ndi akazi angakhale mabwenzi?” Inde! Makanema amatipangitsa kumva mosiyana. Pamene Harry Met Sally ndi mmodzi wa iwo. Lingaliro lakuti maubwenzi onse osiyana amuna ndi akazi nthawi zonse amasanduka chikondi ndi lachilendo. Chowonadi ndi chakuti amuna amafunika ubwenzi wa akazi wa platonic m'miyoyo yawo ndipo akazi amafunika ubwenzi wa amuna wa platonic.

Mu kafukufuku wa Sapadin , amuna adaona kuti ubwenzi wa amuna ndi akazi ndi wabwino kwambiri, wosangalatsa, komanso woleredwa kuposa ubwenzi wawo wa amuna ndi akazi. Chomwe adanenanso kuti amakonda kwambiri chinali kulankhula ndi akazi (zinawathandiza kupeza malingaliro pa amuna ndi akazi) - chinthu chomwe sangachite ndi mabwenzi awo aamuna. Komabe, ubwenzi umenewu ukhoza kukhala wokhazikika pokhapokha ngati malire abwino akhazikitsidwa.

Malire 15 Oti Mulumbirire Bwenzi-Aakazi Amuna

Malinga ndi kafukufuku , anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi kuti akwatirane, poyerekeza ndi omwe sali pabanja, omwe ali pachibwenzi, komanso omwe ali pabanja, ali ndi malingaliro oipa kwambiri pankhani ya ubwenzi wabwino pakati pa amuna ndi akazi. Kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti 64% ya amuna ndi akazi 44% adanena kuti anzawo omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha adakhala mabwenzi awo panthawi ina ya ubwenzi (mkhalidwe wakale wa ' mabwenzi kwa okonda ').

Choncho, ubwenzi uli ndi mwayi wosintha kukhala chiyanjano chogonana ngati palibe malire a mabwenzi a chibwenzi ndi akazi. Nawa maupangiri kwa azimayi onse omwe ali pachibwenzi ndi anyamata omwe ali ndi abwenzi ambiri achikazi:

1. Ayenera kukufotokozerani momveka bwino za maubwenzi ake achikazi

Palibe cholakwika ndi chibwenzi chokhala ndi bwenzi lapamtima lachikazi. Kukhala pachibwenzi sikuyenera kutanthauza kutsazikana ndi anzako. Koma vuto lenileni limakhala pamene bwenzi lanu layamba kukubisirani zinthu, monga pamene mwadzidzidzi kubwera kwa bwenzi latsopano lachikazi limene iye mwadala samakuuzani. Choncho, kunena mwachidule, ayenera kukhala woona mtima kotheratu. Anyamata omwe ali ndi abwenzi ambiri achikazi ayenera kukhala owonekera m'njira izi:

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• "Hey, ndikupita ku nkhomaliro ndi Rita lero"
• "Anali ndi nkhawa, ndiye adandiimbira foni 1am"
• "Tinalumikizana kamodzi koma izi zinali ndisanakumane nawe"

2. Ayenera kukulowetsani muzokonzekera zamagulu nthawi zina

Ndinali ndi chibwenzi chomwe chinali ndi abwenzi ambiri achikazi. Sanayese kuti tigwirizane. Nthawi zonse ndimamva ngati ndili kunja kwa nyumba ndipo izi zimandipangitsa kudzimva wosatetezeka . Ndikhulupirireni, chibwenzi chanu chikapanda kukuwonetsani kwa abwenzi ake achikazi, zimamveka ngati zopanda ulemu.

Choncho, ngati chibwenzi chanu chili pafupi kwambiri ndi bwenzi lakale kapena lachikazi latsopano, ayenera kuonetsetsa kuti akukhazikitsa ubale pakati pa inu nonse, ndiye kuti, ngati nonse mukufuna. Nazi zinthu zimene ayenera kuchita pamene atatu a inu mukucheza limodzi:

• Asamakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu osawoneka ndipo amayenera kusangalala kukhala ndi bwenzi lake komanso mnzake mofanana
• Iye sayenera kulankhula pa inu pamaso pa bwenzi lake kapena mwadzidzidzi kusiya ndi zonse mwachizolowezi PDA
• Ayenera kuthyola madzi oundana pakati pa inu ndi bwenzi lake kuti musamamve ngati mulibe malo

3. Anzanu achikazi sayenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito ngati bwenzi

Tangoganizirani izi: Mwataya pang'onopang'ono ubale wanu ndi chibwenzi chanu. Koma iye sakudziwa chifukwa chakuti ubwenzi wake ndi akazi ukukwaniritsa zosowa zake zonse zamaganizo . Mosazindikira, akugwiritsa ntchito mabwenzi amenewo ngati chobisalira, kuti adzisokoneze ku chiwonongeko chomwe chikubwera muubwenzi wanu.

Chifukwa chake, onetsetsani kuti sakugwiritsa ntchito abwenzi ake ngati zotchingira. Tsiku lina ngati atachotsa anzakewo pachithunzipa, zoona zake za ubale wanu zingamukhudze kwambiri. Zofooka zonse ndi zolakwika mu mgwirizano zikanakulirakulira ndipo amatha kuwona ubale wanu momwe ulili.

4. Asadzakunyozetseni Pazibwenzi zake zachikazi

Kodi n’chiyani chingakhale choipa kuposa kuswa malire a chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi? Kukupangitsani kumva ngati ndinu wamisala! Ngati mukuchita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi abwenzi ambiri achikazi, nazi zitsanzo zina zomunyoza zomwe ayenera kupewa kugwiritsa ntchito:

• Mukamufunsa funso lomveka bwino la komwe ali, anganene kuti, “Babe, n’chifukwa chiyani ukufunikira kudziwa zimenezi?
• “Nthawi zonse umakhala wosadzidalira ndiponso wansanje, pali chinachake cholakwika ndi iwe”
• Mukamuona akukopana ndi bwenzi lake lachikazi, angakufunseni kuti, “Kodi musiya kuchita zinthu monyanyira chifukwa ndi bwenzi basi!

5. Malire a bwenzi lachibwenzi-akazi kulumbirira - kulinganiza kwakukulu kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu

Chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri kwa zibwenzi zomwe zili ndi abwenzi apamtima aakazi ndikukhalabe ndi chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe cha anthu. Ngati amaika zithunzi/nkhani ndi anzake achikazi ndipo sakutchulanso konse pa malo ake ochezera a pa Intaneti, n’zachibadwa kuti muzimva ngati akukubisirani dziko. Kambiranani naye:

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• Kodi amamasuka kuuza otsatira ake chiyani pankhani ya chibwenzi chake?
• Ngati sali omasuka ndi izi, koma amalembabe za abwenzi ake (mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi), mutha kugawana nawo momwe zimakupangitsani kumva, kapena kufunsa chifukwa chake izi zikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu olakwika.
• Kambiranani za malire a digito omwe akuyenera kusunga akamatumiza chithunzi ndi mnzake wapamtima wapamtima (mwachitsanzo, alembe mawu ofotokoza zaubwenzi osapitilira apo)

6. Musalole kuti abwenzi ake azikusokonezani pa nthawi imene muli pa chibwenzi

Kukhazikitsa malire ndi anzanu achikazi kumatanthauza kuwafotokozera kufunika kwa masiku anu ochezera ndi chibwenzi. Anzake ayenera kulemekeza nthawi yanu yopatulika ya banja. Ngati amakulepheretsani nthawi yanu ya 'anzanu' nthawi zonse, zingayambitse mikangano muubwenzi wanu.

Ngati sayika malire ndi anzanu achikazi, mudzamva ngati ndinu gudumu lachitatu. Simukuyenera kuthera tsiku lanu lachikondi usiku kumvetsera nkhani zawo zaubwana. 

7. Ayenera kuyang'anitsitsa chikondi chake ndi kuyandikira kwa mabwenzi ake achikazi

Inde, timapeza kuti amakhulupirira ubale wa platonic. Koma chifukwa cha ubale wamtendere komanso mpaka mutadziwana ndi abwenzi ake achikazi ndikuyamba kuwakhulupirira, ayenera kusunga manja ake. Kuvina kwambiri ndi beste wake kungayambitse ndewu yayitali pagalimoto yobwerera kunyumba. Sakufuna zimenezo eti?

Choncho, ngakhale atakhala pafupi kwambiri ndi bwenzi lake lachikazi, sayenera kuchita zinthu zongokhudzana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi kupatulapo kugonana mwachisawawa. Ndipo n’zoonekeratu kuti ayenera kupewa kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi . Zimenezi zingaoneke ngati kusakhulupirika ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi.

8. Asakubere miseche kwa bwenzi lake lapamtima

Miseche imakhala yosangalatsa komanso yosangalatsa. Koma angamve bwanji ngati magome atatembenuzidwa? Kodi sizingakhale zopweteka kwa iye akadziwa kuti ndinu oipa?

Ndipotu, kafukufuku wina anapeza kuti kukambirana za mavuto achikondi ndi mnzanu amene akufunsidwayo kunathandiza kwambiri paubwenziwo, pomwe "kusiya mnzanuyo n'kupita kwa mnzanu kumangowonjezera mavuto a muubwenzi ndi kupangitsa kuti chikondi chisakhazikike."

Mwina kunenera ena miseche ndi chizolowezi chake chosadziwa kapena sakumva kuti ali ndi chitetezo chokwanira kuti akumasulireni zakukhosi. Kaya zifukwa zake ndi ziti, kunenera ena miseche kopanda pake kungayambitse kudalirana/ kukondana muubwenzi wanu wachikondi . Nazi zinthu zina zomwe sayenera kuuza anzake za ubale wanu:

• Zosangalatsa za moyo wanu wakugonana (malingaliro ogonana, momwe mumagonana kangati, ndi zina zambiri)
• Zinsinsi zanu, kusatetezeka, ndi kulephera kwa ubale wakale
• Kodi mumapeza ndalama zingati / ndani amalipira chiyani
• Kulawa kwanu koyipa kwa mphatso

9. Asalankhule Mnzake wamkazi

Ngati apanga zosankha kwa bwenzi lake lachikazi, ayenera kusiya zimenezo pakali pano. Sikuti ndi mwano chabe, koma ndi chizindikiro chakuti akuyesera kukhala wolamulira ndi wolamulira. Inde, iwo ndi mabwenzi abwino, koma sayenera kupita kukatsimikizira momwe onse awiri aliri pafupi ndi wina aliyense mwa kulankhula m'malo mwake za zomwe amakonda, zomwe sakonda, ndi malingaliro ake.

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Mmene amachitira zinthu ndi anzake aakazi mukhoza kukuonaninso. Choncho, samalani ndi khalidwe lake ndi maganizo ozungulira iwo.

10. Ayenera kupanga maganizo ake 'ake' pa inu

Malinga ndi kafukufuku , mumakhala ndi ubale wabwino ngati anzanu akuvomereza. Komabe, kumbukirani kuti kuvomereza kwa anzake achikazi sikokhako komwe kumayesa litmus. Nthawi zina, ngakhale anzanu angalakwitse, eti?

N’kutheka kuti ndinu wamanyazi ndipo anzakewo sakuyesetsa kuti mulankhule naye. Mwina akupanga kulakwitsa kwakukulu pamalingaliro awo. Nthawi zonse amamvetsera zimene anzake akunena. Koma pomalizira pake, ayenera kupanga maganizo akeake, malinga ndi zimene zinamuchitikira. Anzake samakudziwani ngati iyeyo.

11. Ayenera kulinganiza nthawi yake pakati pa iwe ndi bwenzi lake lapamtima

Kwa malire a bwenzi lachibwenzi ndi mkazi, sayenera kusankha mbali. Akhoza kungochita zinthu mwanzeru. Aliyense amene amamuumiriza kusankha pakati pa inu kapena bwenzi lake lapamtima, ndithudi, alibe nazo ntchito zabwino.

• Sayenera kusiya mapulani ndi inu nthawi yomaliza chifukwa cha iwo
• Asamacheze nanu pokhapokha abwenzi ake palibe (ndipo mosinthanitsa)
• Simuyenera kupangidwa kudzimva ngati ndinu wachiwiri wabwino kwambiri simuli patsogolo pake

12. Malire a bwenzi lachibwenzi-akazi kulumbirira - Ayenera kupewa kutsogolera mnzake

Mwinamwake amakonda chisamaliro chake kapena mwinamwake pali malingaliro ena osathetsedwa ndipo amawopa kwambiri kuwafotokozera. Kaya vuto ndi lotani, ndi kulakwa kumupatsa zizindikiro zosiyanasiyana. Nazi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti akutsogolera mnzake wamkazi mosadziwa:

• Kumuuza chilichonse chokhudza moyo wake tsiku lililonse
• Kukopana mosadziwa kapena kuzitcha 'kukopana kwathanzi'
• Kuwonetsa nsanje akamacheza ndi wina / akumenyedwa

Kwa iye, kupita naye paulendo wautali ndi nyimbo kungakhale ulendo wabwino kwambiri. Koma akhoza kulakwitsa kukhulupirira kuti ndi chibwenzi. Akhoza kukhala akuwerenga pakati pa mizere kapena kupeza mawu ofunikira m'zochita zake zosavuta, ndikukhulupirira kuti akumupatsa 'mphamvu'. Izi zitha kumubwezera zoipa kwambiri. Chikondi chosabwezera chimapweteka, pambuyo pake.

13. Asakhale ndi vuto pa ubale ndi munthu amene sali naye pachibwenzi

Ngati apatsa mnzake chiyamikiro ndi mphatso, zikhoza kumusokeretsa. Walola zopinga ndi malire kupita chifukwa amamasuka naye. Koma iye akhoza kutanthauzira izo mwanjira ina yonse. 

N’zodetsa nkhawa ngati iye ndi mnzake akukangana ndipo akuthetsa mavuto awo monga momwe awiri amachitira. Ngati akutsatana wina ndi mnzake n’kupemphana kuti asasiye mgwirizano wawo, onse awiri akutsogolerana ndipo angavulale panthawiyi. Ali pachibwenzi china osadziwa. Ndipo ali ndi mavuto pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene sali pachibwenzi naye.

14. Ayenera kusunga njira zolankhulirana zomasuka ndi zaulemu ngati muli ndi nkhawa zokhuza anzake achikazi

Mwina mumatchedwa 'ogona' kapena 'osatetezeka' nthawi iliyonse mukanena nkhawa zanu. Kapena mwinamwake mumayenera kuonerera bwenzi lake lapamtima likukondana naye paphwando lililonse ndi zochitika. Jambulani malire anu. Ngati sewerolo likufika ku thanzi lanu lamalingaliro, ndipo sakuwonetsa vuto, ndiye nthawi yoti musiye. 

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Mukuyenera wina amene amakupangitsani kumva ndikukumvani. Muyenera kuchitiridwa ulemu, monga chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa wina. Chifukwa chake, yang'anani pang'ono ndikupanga chisankho chomwe chingapindulitse 'chimwemwe chanu' chanthawi yayitali. Ngati izo zimafuna kuti mulole iye apite, zikhale choncho. 

15. Asamatsanzire miyambo ya ubale wanu ndi abwenzi ake achikazi

Zinthu zina ndi za inu nonse awiri. Ngati amakutchani mwachikondi kuti “Mwana” koma akugwiritsa ntchito liwulo polankhula ndi anzake onse achikazi, mungamuuze kuti ajambule mzere. Mofananamo, ngati inu nonse muli ndi mwambo wodyera ku McDonald's Lamlungu masana, iye bwino kuti asatsanzire izo ndi anzake akazi.

Pomaliza, musaiwale momwe mungadzikondere nokha , pamene mukukhazikitsa malire pakati pa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi. Inde, ndinu mnzanu wa winawake koma ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zambiri zomwe muli nazo.

Musaiwale zosowa zanu. Khalani ndi nthawi yopuma nokha, kuti mufufuze umunthu wanu kunja kwa maubwenzi anu. Kodi zolinga zanu pantchito ndi zotani? Pamndandanda wa ndowa zanu ndi chiyani?

Momwe Mungadalire Chibwenzi Amene Ali Ndi Abwenzi Aakazi

Ngati chibwenzi chanu chili ndi bwenzi lapamtima lachikazi, mungadziwe bwanji kuti si Pam kwa Jim wanu? Nanga bwanji ngati inuyo mutakhala Karen wa ku The Office ? Nazi malangizo ena amomwe mungadalire chibwenzi chanu ndi abwenzi achikazi:

• Mwamuna wanu ayenera kukhala wowona mtima / wowonekera / wophatikiza
• Nenani mbendera zanu zofiira momveka bwino (mafoni ausiku kwambiri ndi iye, kubisa zinthu, ndi zina zotero)
• Pangani malire omwe mungatsatire pankhani ya anzanu achimuna
• Osachita bwino mu a kungokhala mwaukali ndi anzake achikazi
• Musamayembekezere kuti adule mabwenzi ake n’cholinga chongofuna kuthetsa kusatetezeka kwanu
• Fotokozani momwe mukuchitira nsanje, “Izi zimandipangitsa kukhala wosamasuka/ndikuda nkhawa kuti … ”
• Perekani bwenzi lanu malo okwanira kuti akhale ndi moyo kunja kwa chiyanjano
• Yesetsani kudziwana ndi abwenzi ake achikazi (pangani nawo ubale)
• Lankhulani za nsanje yanu kwa anthu opanda tsankho, monga abale / abwenzi ena / othandizira

Ponena za malire a chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi, wowerenga wina pa Quora analemba kuti, “Mgwirizano umakhala pakati pa anthu awiri kapena kuposerapo. Umakambidwa, umakambidwa, ndipo makamaka aliyense ali ndi mphamvu zofanana. Ngati wina aswa mgwirizano, ndi kusakhulupirika.”

Monga momwe akunenera moyenerera, ngati chibwenzi chanu chili ndi mabwenzi ambiri achikazi, nthawi zonse muzilankhulana ndi munthu wanu. Ngati bwenzi limodzi lachikazi limafuna kucheza naye nthawi zonse kapena ngati bwenzi lanu limateteza kwambiri anzake aakazi, ingonenani kuti, “Eya, izi zikundisowetsa mtendere.

Pomaliza, ngati mukuvutikabe ndi momwe mungadalire chibwenzi chanu ndi mabwenzi achikazi, nthawi zonse mutha kupempha thandizo la akatswiri. Izi ndi zoonanso kwa anyamata omwe sangathe kukhazikitsa malire abwino ndi mabwenzi a amuna kapena akazi. Alangizi athu ochokera ku gulu la Bonobology ali pafupi nanu.

Ibibazo

20 Zizindikiro Amafuna Kukhala Oposa Anzanu

Zitsanzo 13 za Zizindikiro Zosakanikirana Zochokera kwa Anyamata

Zizindikiro 8 Kuti Mukudzitaya Nokha Paubwenzi Ndi Njira 5 Zoti Mudzipezenso

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

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