Zizindikiro 10 Zowoneka Zomwe Muyenera Kusiya Ubale Wakutali

Chowonadi chowawa cha maubwenzi ndikuti nthawi zina sakhalitsa. Zizindikiro za kutha kwa ubale zitha kuyamba kukuzungulirani koma ndizotheka kuti muyese kuzilekerera. Makamaka mukakhala paubwenzi wautali komanso ndewu zenizeni sizikuwoneka kuti zatha, zonse zomwe zili m'maganizo mwanu ndikulingalira nthawi yoti musiye muubwenzi wautali kapena kulimbikira ndikuyesera kuti zitheke.

Koma chowonadi chosangalatsa ndichakuti zili bwino ngati maubwenzi atha. Ubale wotalikirana ukhoza kumangika bwino pakapita nthawi kapena kuyamba kugwa. Mutha kukhala openga wina ndi mnzake ndipo chikondi chilipo, koma ubale wonse sunayenera kukhala. Ndizotheka kuti umayamba kumva ngati ukufunika kusiya chibwenzi chakutali chifukwa mwina ukukokera koma osafuna kuyimba foni yolakwika. Palibe amene amafuna kudandaula kuthetsa chibwenzi, makamaka ngati mwachita khama kwambiri kuti zitheke poyamba.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Maubwenzi Akutali Amalephera?

Pamapeto pake, mudzawona zizindikiro kuti ubale wanu wautali sukugwira ntchito ndipo mungafunike kugonja. Pomaliza a ubale wautali ndi munthu amene mumamukonda zingakhale zokhumudwitsa, koma pali nthawi zina pamene mapeto angakhale chiyambi cha chinthu chachikulu ndi chabwino kwa nonse.

Nthawi zambiri, mtunda umakupangitsani kuzindikira kuti zolinga zanu zamtsogolo sizikugwirizana. Mwinamwake munalumpha mfuti ndi kuzindikira mochedwa kwambiri kuti mukufunadi zinthu zosiyana kwambiri ndipo sizikupanga nzeru kupitiriza kukhala pamodzi. Ngakhale kuti kuzindikira kumeneko kuli kopweteka, kudakali kwenikweni.

Mukudziwa kuti maubwenzi apatali amatha kukhala otopetsa chifukwa amafunikira ntchito yambiri. Onse okwatirana ayenera kusungitsa ndalama muubwenzi wawo mokwanira kuti apitirizebe kukhala ndi moyo ndikukhalabe okondana kwambiri ngakhale kuti sangathe kuwonana. Ichi ndichifukwa chake mwina mwadzikana nokha kuti ubale wanu wautali ukuchitika pamaso panu. Mwagwira ntchito molimbika pa izi ndipo zimangoona zosatheka kuzisiya.

Koma pali mbali ina ya ndalama imeneyo. Kuimba kwatsiku ndi tsiku, kupondereza ululu wa nsanje umenewo, kumva chisoni kuyang’ana okwatirana ena m’paki kukukulirakulirabe. Kuyesayesako sikukuwonekanso kopindulitsa pamene muyamba kuzindikira kuti palibe mapeto pamene nonse muli ndi zolinga zosiyana ndi zolinga za nthawi yaitali.

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Kuthetsa Utali Wamtunda

Ndikukumbukira pamene mmodzi wa exes wanga anathetsa chibwenzi zaka zitatu kudzera telefoni. Ndili wokwiya komanso kukonza chiwembu chobwezera, ndinamupatsa mlandu wondichitira nkhanza. Ndipamene ndinasiyana ndi munthu wina m'pamene ndinazindikira kuti sindinakhwime chifukwa cha kusiyana kwanga m'mbuyomu.

Ndidalankhula zinthu ngati "sindikumvanso kukopeka nanu" zomwe zidapangitsa kuti zinthu zina zoyipa zinenedwe za ine komanso kutchula mayina amphamvu komanso kusunthitsa mlandu wopanda mathero. Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kungakupangitseni kudziimba mlandu koma kodi si bwino kungosiya chinthu chimene sichikuyenda bwino? Ndicho chifukwa chake mumayang'anitsitsa zizindikiro za nthawi yoti musiye muubwenzi wautali usanakhale wonyansa ndipo mumangoyamba kukhala oipa kwa wina ndi mzake.

Ndi Nthawi Yanji Yoyenera Kuyitcha Kuti Yasiya Paubwenzi Wakutali?

Kwenikweni, ingosiyani mukawona zizindikiro kuti ubale wanu wautali ukutha. Kalanga, zikanakhala zophweka!

Maubwenzi ambiri apatali omwe ndawawonapo nthawi zambiri amasokonekera pakapita nthawi. Amayamba ndi chisangalalo chochuluka poyamba, mukudziwa, chisangalalo cha kunyamula matumba, kumene tsiku lililonse limakhala ngati tsiku loyamba! Komabe, m'kupita kwa nthawi mumayamba kutopa ndi 'chibwenzi foni yanu' ndipo inu pang'onopang'ono kuzindikira inu kutaya chidwi pa ubwenzi wautali. Mumalakalaka kukhala ndi mnzanu wapamtima ndipo mukufunanso kuchita nawo zinthu zapaintaneti.

Koma ndi liti pamene muyenera kusiya ubale wautali? Mukayamba kumverera kuti simukutembenukiranso kwa iwo kuti akupatseni malangizo kapena simukufunanso kuwadziwitsa nthawi yomweyo za kupambana kwanu, ingakhale nthawi yoganiziranso ubale wanu. Kusiyana kwa nthawi ndi mtunda, kuwonjezera pa nkhani zolumikizana, zitha kuwononga kwambiri maubwenzi olimba kwambiri. Kuthana ndi chibwenzi chotanganidwa mtunda wautali kapena kupirira bwenzi lanu nthawi zonse kuyiwala kukuyimbiraninso sikuli kwa aliyense. Mwinanso mungayambe kuzindikira kuti mukukulitsa malingaliro kwa munthu amene mumamuwona tsiku ndi tsiku monga wogwira nawo ntchito kapena mnzanu.

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Kusiya Ubale Wakutali

Kukhala kutali ndi wina ndi mnzake kwa nthawi yayitali kumatha kukhala kotopetsa komanso kusokoneza maganizo pambuyo pa mfundo inayake. Mmodzi wa inu kapena nonse mumapanga moyo wanu m'malo osiyanasiyana. Chiphunzitso cha osawoneka, osokonezeka ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe ubale wanu wautali sukuyenda. Koma izo nzabwino mwangwiro.

Kusiya ubale wautali kumabweretsa thanzi labwino kwa inu nokha ndi mnzanu (mudzazindikira pakapita nthawi). Zimatenga nthawi kukonza kuti simulinso pachibwenzi ndipo mutha kutenga nthawi yanu yokoma kuti mumve chisoni. Ndi chithandizo choyenera komanso chithandizo chochokera kwa abwenzi, n'zosavuta kumvetsa kuti kusiya ubale wosasangalala ndizovuta ku moyo wachimwemwe. Dzipatseni nthawi yosangalala. Ndiye ngati mukuwona ubale wautali zizindikiro zowonongeka, musachitenge mopepuka.

Naomi Browne, wazaka 37 komanso wochita opaleshoni ku Ohio anali paubwenzi wautali ndi bwenzi lake Trevor kwa zaka zitatu zapitazi. Trevor sanafune kusamukira ku Ohio chifukwa ankafuna kukhala ku Portland ndi kusamalira amayi ake odwala. Awiriwa adazipanga kuti zigwire ntchito kwa nthawi yayitali momwe angathere koma ubale wawo wautali udali pafupi ndi pomwe adakwanitsa zaka zitatu.

"Sizinali zokhazikika. Palibe aliyense wa ife amene ankafuna kusamukira kwa munthu wina ndipo tinazindikira kuti palibenso chifukwa cha izi. Sindimamuimba mlandu chifukwa chosamalira amayi ake koma inenso ndimakhala wodzipereka kuntchito yanga ndipo sindingathe kusiya chilichonse. Zimasokoneza mtima wanga ndipo ndimamukonda koma sindingathe kuchita mtunda wautali ", akutero Naomi ponena za kusiyana kwake.

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Zizindikiro 10 Zomwe Muyenera Kusiya Ubale Wautali

Mofanana ndi maubwenzi ena aliwonse, maubwenzi apatali nawonso amayamba kusonyeza zizindikiro za kutaya. Koma ndiye zizindikiro za kutha kwa ubale wautali sizimatchulidwa chifukwa simuyenera kuyanjana ndi wokondedwa wanu momwe mungathe kuona zizindikiro m'maso, m'mawonekedwe a thupi kapena momwe amalankhulira ndi inu.

Pali zizindikiro zomveka, zotsimikizika kuti ubale wakutali sukuyenda. Komanso, kuyesetsa kwakukulu kumapangidwa ndi ogwira nawo ntchito kuti asunge ubale wautali ukugwira ntchito - kusiya ubale wautali ndizovuta kwambiri kwa anthu onse awiri.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuyenera kudzitsimikizira mobwerezabwereza kuti ubalewo ukuyenda bwino, ichi chingakhale chizindikiro. Ngati simukumvetsanso mnzanuyo ndipo akumva kuti ali kutali kwambiri ndi munthu watsopano palimodzi, chimenecho chingakhale chizindikiro. Ngati ubalewu ukuwoneka wokakamizika kuposa chilengedwe, kusiya za ubale wautali ndikupita patsogolo zitha kukhala zabwino kwambiri kwa inu. LDRs ikhoza kukhala yovuta. Koma ngati mukupachikidwa pakati popanda chidziwitso, izi ndi zizindikiro zomwe mungagwirizane nazo ndipo muyenera kuziganizira.

1. Palibe kuyimba kwa masiku

M'badwo wolumikizidwa ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi ma cellular opanda zingwe, ngati izi ndi zoona kwa inu, ndiye kuti zitha kukhala chiyambi chakumapeto. Kulankhulana kumapanga maziko a ubale uliwonse. Mwina munakhala maola ambiri pafoni wina ndi mzake kale koma mwadzidzidzi, sizili zofanana ndi poyamba.

Trevor anali ndi zofanana ndi zomwe ananena za mkhalidwe wake ndi Naomi. Iye anati: “Ndine mphunzitsi wa pasukulu yasekondale ya kwathuko ndipo sindine dokotala wamkulu ngati Naomi, ndimamva zimenezo.

Monga Trevor ananena, limenelo likhoza kukhala vuto lenileni. Izi zikufotokozera nthawi yoyenera kuyimitsa ubale wakutali. Zikafika nthawi yoti mukhale masiku osalankhulana, n’zodziwikiratu kuti zinthu sizili zofanana. Ndipo mukamalankhulana, simufunika kulankhula nthawi yaitali kuti mumvetse chilichonse chokhudza moyo wa wina ndi mnzake. Zimangomva ngati wamba komanso mwachizolowezi.

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2. Palibe mapulani oti tidzakumane m'tsogolo

Mukukumbukira momwe munakonzera kukumana kamodzi pa miyezi iwiri iliyonse? Kapena kuti foni iliyonse imakhala ndi mawu akuti "Ugh, sindikuyembekezera kukuwona, mwana!" Chisangalalo cha momwe mungakonzekere masiku amtengo wapataliwa chidatenga LDR yanu yambiri m'mbuyomu. Chisangalalo chonyamula matumba, kusankha kopita komanso kufunitsitsa kukhala ndi wina ndi mnzake kupita modabwitsa. kuyenda awiri!

Koma zinthu sizili choncho. Tsopano, awiriwa asanduka asanu ndi limodzi ndipo palibe mapulani omwe apangidwa ndi aliyense wa inu kuti mukumane. Ndiwe wotanganidwa kwambiri, wotanganidwa komanso wosokonezedwa ndi zinthu zina kotero kuti sizibwera m'maganizo mwanu kuti mutha kuwuluka kukamuwona Loweruka ndi Lamlungu.

Studies onetsani kuti maanja omwe ali mu LDRs amakhala opsinjika kwambiri komanso okhutira, ngati akudziwa nthawi yomwe gawo losagwirizana la ubale litha. Chiyembekezo chokhala mumzinda womwewo m'chaka chimodzi kapena zochepa ndizomwe zimapangitsa kuti LDR ipitirire. Choncho, ngati mukudabwa za nthawi kuitana izo quits mu ubwenzi, ndi pamene inu ndi mnzanuyo simukupanga khama kukonzekera rendezvous.

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3. Palibe ubwenzi wapamtima

Ubwenzi ndi msana wa ubale - mumamva kuti muli olumikizidwa chifukwa mumagawana chinthu chomwe simugawana ndi wina aliyense. Timamva za njira zonse za momwe tingapangire chikondi kukhala chamoyo pamene tikuchita mtunda wautali. Kuyimba mavidiyo pafupipafupi, kutumiza mauthenga otumizirana mameseji, kutumiza ma Snapchats kuti asunge chikondi ndi ubwenzi wapamtima paubwenzi wapatali, ndizinthu zomwe anthu amachita pafupipafupi kuti azitha kulumikizana ndikupangitsa kuti zolaula zikhale zamoyo.

Koma pambuyo pa mfundo, ndizotheka kuti zikhoza kuyamba kuchepa. Chibwenzi chikatha, chilakolako chokhazikika chimatuluka pawindo. Kodi mukuganiza za nthawi yoti musiye muubwenzi wotalikirana? Ndi pamene kutumizirana mameseji kumawoneka ngati ntchito ndipo kumakhala kosavuta kudzithandiza nokha masiku omwe mukuzifuna.

Kodi mukuyang'anabe maupangiri oti muyimitse ubale wakutali? Osadandaula, si inu nokha. Pamenepo, "kusowa ubwenzi wapamtima” linali vuto lomwe limatchulidwa kwambiri mu a kafukufuku za zibwenzi zakutali, zoyendetsedwa ndi kampani yomwe imapanga zoseweretsa zogonana. Mavuto ena apamwamba anali 'kuda nkhawa kuti mnzanga angakumane ndi munthu wina' , 'kukhala wosungulumwa' , 'okwera mtengo kukumana wina ndi mzake' ndi 'kukula mosiyana'.

4. Ndewu zanthawi zonse

Kodi mungaleke bwanji ubale wautali pamene mwakhala nthawi yambiri mukumanga pamodzi? Ife tiyenera kuswa izo kwa inu. Ngati inu nonse muli pamphepete mwa mkangano, zomwe mwamanga zatayika kale. Chilichonse chimene wokondedwa wanu amachita chimakukwiyitsani kapena mosemphanitsa, ndi chizindikiro chachikulu kuti ubale wautali sukuyenda bwino.

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji nthawi yoti musiye mu ubale wautali? Ndi pamene zinthu zazing'ono zimatha kukukwiyitsani nonse kwambiri. Kuyimba foni kulikonse kumasanduka mikangano yaying'ono ya ndewu pafupipafupi komanso mwamphamvu mikangano ya ubale. Simungathe kuyimbiranso (kapena kuyimbiranso foni) ngakhale mutasiya kukwiya. Ubale wautali ukuvuta? Ine zedi ndikuganiza choncho.

5. Kusayamikira mokwanira

Mutha kusinthana mphatso kapena kudumphadumpha kuti muthe kukambirana bwino kwa mphindi 10 ndi bwenzi lanu lakutali koma pakhoza kukhala zizindikiro zambiri zakusokonekera kwa maubwenzi apatali omwe simunawamvetsere. Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani za nthawi imene anakuyamikirani komaliza kapena kukuthokozani. Kodi mumayamikiridwa mokwanira? Kodi amazindikira kuti mumawapangira nthawi yochuluka bwanji? Mumamva ngati mukuwoloka nyanja kwa anthu omwe samakudumphirani nkomwe matope.

Naome anatiuza kuti akudziwa kuti akuyenera kukumana ndi vuto loti asiyane ndi chibwenzi chakutali atazindikira kuti Trevor amangonyalanyaza zonse zomwe adamuchitira. Iye anati: “Ndinkatumiza mphatso, makadi okumbukira tsiku lokumbukira tsiku lokumbukira tsiku lokumbukira tsiku la kubadwa, ndi katundu wosamalira mwana aliyense mpata uliwonse umene ndapeza.

6. Chibwenzi chimayamba kumverera mbali imodzi

Kodi mukuyang'ana maupangiri oti musiye ubale wautali? Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za ubale wanu wautali ndikulowera kumapeto ndi ichi…Chibwenzi chimayamba kukhala ngati ubale wa mbali imodzi. Kaya mukuchita khama kwambiri kapena mnzanuyo akugwira ntchito molimbika, mfundo ndi yakuti nonse simunasungidwe mofananamo.

Kodi mukudabwa nthawi yoti musiye ubale wautali? Pamene zimayamba kukhudza makhalidwe anu a tsiku ndi tsiku. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, ophunzira omwe anali mu LDRs adadzimva kukhala osungulumwa pamasukulu ndipo adawonetsa kuchepa kwa zochitika za yunivesite, poyerekeza ndi ophunzira ena. Chifukwa chake, LDR imakutengerani nthawi ndi khama. Ngati mutayamba kudzitaya nokha mukukonzekera kuti ubalewu ugwire ntchito, ingakhale nthawi yoti muyambe kuyang'anizana ndi nyimbo ndikuganizira nthawi yoti muyitanitse muubwenzi wautali.

Mutha kumverera ngati mukuthamangitsa wokondedwa wanu mosasamala kanthu momwe mungayesere. Ubale wautali ndi njira ziwiri; muyenera kupita njira yonse nthawi iliyonse kuti mugwire ntchito. Kukumana ndi munthu pakati chabe chifukwa cha izo sikutenga nthawi yaitali.

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7. Kubwerera m'mbuyo payekha

Mwina mwaphonya nthawi yomaliza kwambiri kapena imelo yofunika siyimayimitsidwa chifukwa muli ndi nkhawa kuti bwenzi lanu sanakuyitaneni. Ngati zinthu izi zikuchitika ndi inu nthawi zambiri kuposa kale, ndi nthawi yoti musiye ubale womwe ukukupangitsani kuti mubwerere. Mfundo yonse ya ubale ndi kupeza munthu amene amakupangitsani kukhala bwino ndipo akhoza kukula ndi inu. Zolinga zaumwini, chiyembekezo chamtsogolo / ntchito ziyenera kuyamikiridwa. Kubwerera m'mbuyo pa iwo kungakhale chifukwa chosiya.

8. Kusamvana kwakukulu muubwenzi

Kuti mufike pa yankho la nthawi yoti musiye muubwenzi wautali, dzifunseni izi. Ndizoona zimenezo zochitika za kuyatsa gasi kapena malingaliro olakwa akutenga LDR yanu? Mukuwona ngati ubalewu ukusokoneza malingaliro ndi mtima wanu? Kodi mumamva kuti mukulephera mu ubale? Izi ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za kusweka kwa ubale wautali.

Mwinamwake malingaliro achikondi tsopano afa. Simukudziwa kumene chibwenzicho chikupita komanso ngati mukufuna kusiya ubale wanu wautali kapena kuugwira. Osayankha mafoni, kuchititsa mzukwa mnzako kumawoneka bwino kuposa kukambirana nawo.

9. Kumverera kwanu m'matumbo

Musanatifunse momwe tingalekerere ubale wautali, ganizirani zomwe matumbo anu akukuuzani. Masiku ano, umunthu wathu wamkati ukhoza kutiululira choonadi chimene takhala tikubisala kalekale. Ndemanga za Naomi Browne pakutha kwake, zili ndi lingaliro lofanana. Iye anati: “Patapita nthawi, ndinangodziwa kuti sizinali za ine.

Nazi zizindikiro za nthawi yoti musiye muubwenzi wautali. Mumaona ngati mtunda umapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuwauza zakukhosi kwanu. Mumakayikira kutsimikizika kwa ubale wanu pafupipafupi. Chinachake sichimamveka bwino, china chake chimasowa nthawi zonse. Mwina sizinali choncho nthawi zonse, koma tsopano malingaliro anu ndikuti akulephera, akulephera kukonzanso. Mukufuna kunena kuti zonse zikhala bwino koma matumbo anu amakuwonongerani ndipo simungathe kukana.

10. Chibwenzi chasanduka poyizoni

Ngati nonse mukugwirizana ndi izi, palibe funso la nthawi yoti musiye mu ubale wautali. Zikuwonekeratu kuti nonse muyenera kusiyana. Inu kapena nonse a inu mumamva kuti ubale wakhala poyizoni, kuwononga ndandanda zanu, mtendere wamaganizo ndi kugona usiku. Ndi liti pamene muyenera kusiya ubale wautali?

Nazi zizindikiro za kugwa kwa chikondi muubwenzi wautali:

• Mutha kuganiza kuti zolinga zanu zikusiyidwa chifukwa cha ubale wanu wautali womwe umakulepheretsani kukwaniritsa.
• Mumaona ngati mukuyenera kukankhira pambali zambiri za inu nokha kuti ubalewu ugwire ntchito
• Zimakupatsirani mantha kapena kupsinjika maganizo.

Ngati zonsezi ndi zoona, ndi bwino kusiya chibwenzi kusiyana ndi kukhala pachibwenzi.

LDR imatenga nthawi yambiri, khama komanso chifundo. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simuwakonda. “Ndimamukonda koma sindingathe kuchita mtunda wautali” ndi malo abwino kukhalamo. Koma pali zambiri pa ubale kuposa chikondi. Zinthu monga kuyankhulana komanso kumvetsetsa momwe wokondedwa wanu amawonera ndizofunikira. Koma ngati mukuona kuti sizikuyenda bwino, dzikumbutseni kuti palibe vuto kusiya chinthu chimene sichikusangalatsaninso.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Mwayi mudzadziwa kuti kuchoka kwa munthu amene mumamukonda ndikwabwino kwa inu, ndipo mwina, iwonso. Ngati mukupeza kuti mukuvutikira kuzindikira kuti ubale wanu wautali ukutha, upangiri ungakhale wopindulitsa kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro. Wopatsidwa chilolezo komanso wodziwa zambiri alangizi pa gulu la Bonobology athandiza anthu ambiri okhala m’mikhalidwe yofanana ndi imeneyi. Nanunso mutha kupindula ndi ukatswiri wawo ndikupeza mayankho omwe mwakhala mukuwafuna. 

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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