Iimpawu ezili-15 ze-Ex yakho ikuvavanya | Ungaphendula Njani?

Ukuba u-ex wakho uhlala ebuyela ebomini bakho njengeso saziso se-pop-up awukwazi ukusisusa, inokuba lolunye lweempawu zokuvavanya. Bathumela enye "Heyi" kwaye uqala ukucinga ngomtshato waselwandle. Ufuna ukuqhubeka kakubi, kodwa ungaswayipha njani kanye kwiTinder xa ixesha lakho elidlulileyo lihlala likuhenda?

Ngaba umdla ex yakho kuwe kuthetha ukuba kukho uxhulumaniso olunzulu apha ukuba omnye wenu akakwazanga ukuqhawula? Okanye yimeko nje yokuvavanya amanzi ukuze ubone ukuba uphi? Kunokwenzeka ukuba, yeyokugqibela.

Ngoko, wazi njani ukuba i-ex yakho iyakuvavanya? Yaye indlela yokusabela xa oku kusenzeka? Kwakhona, kutheni beyenza kwasekuqaleni? Makhe sifumanise.

Kutheni le nto i-Ex yakho ifuna ukukuvavanya?

Njengoko uCharlie Puth echaza kwingoma yakhe, "Ufuna nje ukuhoywa,” kusenokwenzeka ukuba owayesakuba ngumlingane wakho uyakuvavanya kuba efuna ukuhoywa.” Kodwa akulula kangako.” Abaqeqeshi bobudlelwane abafana noMatthew Hussey bathi, “Inyaniso yokuba lowo uthandana naye evavanya usenokuba unento yokwenza nobulolo babo. Ayifani nawe ex yakho ifuna wena. Kufana nokuba bafuna umntu. ”

Kusenokubakho izizathu ezininzi emva ukuziphatha ex yakho. Mhlawumbi bafuna ukubuyelana nawe kwaye balungise. Okanye mhlawumbi bafuna ukufumana ukuqinisekiswa kwangoko kunye nokutshisa i-ego yabo. Yintoni kanye kanye injongo yabo?

• Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buphelile ngenqaku elibi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ityala labo elikhulu likwenza ukuba bakubhalele, okanye ukuba ubudlelwane babo bangoku bubi ngakumbi kunokuba bekunjalo kuwe. Research icebisa ukuba xa ubudlelwane obukhoyo buqala ukujika bube muncu, bunokunyusa umdla womntu owaye ex. Mhlawumbi baziva bebuhlungu yaye bayazisola ngenxa yokuba izinto zabahambela kakuhle, yaye bafuna ukubuyelana kwakhona
• Banengxaki yokuyeka kwaye ukusuka kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Baxhomekeke kakhulu kuwe kwaye abanako ukwenza uxolo ngento yokuba ubudlelwane buphelile
• Ngokunokwenzeka, bakhumbuza malunga neendawo ezintle zobudlelwane. Banengcebiso encinci, abanangqondo, kwaye banophondo, kwaye baqinisekile ukuba unomdla wabo wothando. Bayalukhumbula uqhakamshelwano owabelane ngalo phambi kokuba lube muncu

Iimpawu ezili-15 zokuba i-Ex yakho ikuvavanya | Ungaphendula Njani?

UJenny Han wabhala kwincwadi yakhe, Siya kuhlala sinehlobo, "URick wayengeyonto ngaphandle kweqhekeza elincinci lexesha lakhe elidlulileyo, iqhekeza awayeza kuhlala elixabisa, kodwa oko kwakungenxa yokuba imbali injalo. Imbali.”

Kodwa ngaba imbali yimbali nje? Hayi ncma. Ngamanye amaxesha ixesha elidlulileyo lizama ukungena kwixesha langoku. Kwaye kubangela umlo phakathi kwengqondo kunye nentliziyo. Ukusukela ukuba ubudlelwane buphele ngenqaku elingalunganga, baseneemvakalelo, nokuba kunzima kangakanani, kuwe. Xa oku kusenzeka, akumangalisi ukubona owayesakuba evavanya amanzi. Ke kufuneka ulindele ntoni xa uqala ukubona iimpawu ex yakho ikuvavanya?

1. Ex yakho ubhidekile

Babonisa indlela yokuziphatha ephikisanayo, ebonisa ukuba babhidekile malunga neemvakalelo zabo ngawe. Umzekelo, ngenye imini uvuka ubone iDP yabo. Kwaye kusuku olulandelayo, imiyalezo yakho ayihanjiswa.

• Ukuba bahlala bakuvimbile kwaye bakuvule, yenye yeempawu ex yakho izama ukufumana ingqalelo yakho. Umele ukuba uyazibuza, "Kutheni i ex yam endithumelela umyalezo?" okanye “Kwakutheni ukuze iex yam indikhulule?Ukuba uyasabela kuyo, bafumana uqinisekiso lokuba awukadluli kubo.Bakuba befumene olu phawu lokuzithemba, bayabaleka kwakhona.
• Okanye ngokwenene abayazi into abayifunayo kuwe. Kodwa olu hlobo lokuziphatha lunokukunika ingcamango engalunganga nokuba bebengazimiselanga

2. Bawuthiyile umthetho wokungaqhagamshelwa

Zeziphi iimpawu ex yakho uba nomdla kwakhona? Umqeqeshi wobomi u-Aaron Doughty uthi, "Oko nje uyeka ukuleqa kwaye ujonge umntu kwaye uzibeke ekukhanyeni kwakho, umntu uya kutsaleleka kuwe njengemagnethi. Kodwa ukuba usebenzisa loo mandla ukuncamathela, baya kukuchasa."

• Zeziphi iimpawu ex yakho izama ukufumana ingqalelo yakho? Bakuqumbele ukuba ungahlali unxibelelana. Xa wohlukana nabo kwaye waqhawula lonke unxibelelwano, oko kwashiya i-ego yabo ilambile. Kwaye ekubeni usungule i umthetho wokungaqhagamshelwa, wemka ekubeni 'ngumleki.' Ngoko ke, umzuzu uyekile ukuleqa, ibhola yangena enkundleni yakho
• Iimpawu zokuvavanywa kwe-ex yakho kumajelo asekuhlaleni zinokubandakanya ukuthumela i-memes, ingcebiso yengoma, okanye umfanekiso omdala wenu nobabini. Ke, "Kutheni u ex wam endithumelela umyalezo ku-Insta?" Kuba bazama ukufumana iindlela ezintsha zokuthetha nawe

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ngaba kufuneka ucime imifanekiso ye-Ex yakho kwi-Instagram yakho?

3. Bajonga ukuthobela kwakho

Esona sizathu siqhelekileyo sokuba abantu bavavanye amaqabane abo angaphambili kukuzama ukufumanisa ukuba angakanani na amandla asenawo phezu kwabo. Enye yezona zinkulu uphawu ex yakho ilinde ukuba ubuye kukuba balindele ukuba uthobele iimfuno zabo.

• Ex yakho inokwenza imeko engxamisekileyo yobuxoki ukuba ikufowunele. Okanye basenokuzama ukukunyanzela ukuba wenze okuthile. Ukubuyela kunye kunokuba yinto yokugqibela engqondweni yakho, kodwa kuya kuziva ngathi ukuphumelela kubo ukuba ulandela imiyalelo yabo
• Basenokukuthumelela imiyalezo ngaphandle kwendawo okanye bacele ukudibana nawe. Basenokude baqalise ukuthambisa imida yakho ngokuthe ngcembe ukuze ubuyele emva kwimihla yakudala yolwalamano lwakho

4. Abahlobo bakho baziphatha ngendlela engaqhelekanga

UJules, umfundi otshintshiselanayo waseLondon, usixelele ngamava akhe, “Khawufane ucinge oku, ngaphandle kweblue, bonke abahlobo bakho (funda, iintlola zakho zangaphambili) zikuxelela ukuba i-ex yakho iliqabane elilungele nabani na. Ngoku umbuzo ovela entlokweni yam ngowokuba – Ngaba i-ex yam iyandivavanya ukubona ukuba nditshintshile? Ndingathi, ewe.

• abahlobo bakho mutual mhlawumbi ukuba nomdla kakhulu yakho ukuthandana ubomi okanye abanakuyeka Raving malunga ex yakho ukuba ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Kucacile ukuba baphila ethembeni lokumanyanisa 'izithandani' ezimbini. 
• Umntu othandana naye usenokusebenzisa abahlobo bakho ukuze bakwazi xa uphantsi ukuze baqhagamshelane nawe 'ngexesha elifanelekileyo.' Injongo apha kukwenza ukuba uqaphele ukuba wenze impazamo enkulu ngokubashiya. Xa oku kusenzeka, uyazi ukuba yenye yeempawu ex yakho ilinde ukuba ube sezantsi kakhulu, ukuze bakunike igxalaba lokulilela.

5. Iimpawu ex yakho iyakuvavanya? Babonisa umona kunye nobutyebi

Ukuba i-ex yakho inomona ngomntu ombonayo ngoku, inokuba yenye yemiqondiso ex yakho iba nomdla kwakhona. Basenokulibeka phantsi iqabane lakho okanye bafumane iimpazamo kubo phambi kwakho. Bazama ngokucacileyo ukubona indlela osabela ngayo.

• Ukuba nempahla licebo eliqhelekileyo elisetyenziswa ngabantu abanochuku ukuze basebenzise igunya labo. Luvavanyo ukubona ukuba uya kuthobela na iimfuno zabo zokuhlala ukhethekile kubo nangona uye kwikhefu elicocekileyo
• Kutheni ukuhlukana kubetha abafana kamva? Kuba abayazi indlela yokubonakalisa iimvakalelo zabo ngokuqolileyo. Sinokumlibala njani u-Kanye ngokuphulukana nokuzola kwakhe kwingoma Eyiyo, uzama ukubuyisela uKim Kardashian? NjengoKanye, ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili ubonisa iimpawu zobutshaba kuye nawuphi na umntu ophuma naye, oko kunokuthetha ukuba basenomdla kuwe kwaye bakuvavanya ukuze babone ukuba uziva njalo na kubo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Kutheni uzama ukwenza i-Ex yakho ibe nekhwele bubudenge ngokupheleleyo!

6. Bazama ukukukhweletisa

Ungazi njani ukuba i-ex yakho iyakuvavanya? I-ex yakho ibona umntu kwaye bahlala beyihlikihla ebusweni bakho. Bazama ukufumana impendulo kuwe. Bathumela imifanekiso kwaye bafuna ukubona indlela ophendula ngayo.

• Khumbula imuvi Kuwo Onke Amakhwenkwe Endandiwathanda Phambili? Khumbula indlela uPeter Kavinsky akhohlisa ngayo ubudlelwane noLara Jean ukwenza intombi yakhe yangaphambili ibe nomona? Ukuba ubomi bakho bubonakala ngathi le bhanyabhanya ijijekileyo ngoku, inokuba ngenxa yokuba i-ex yakho ihlala ikuvavanya
• Bazama ukubona indlela osabela ngayo ukuze bazi ukuba usachatshazelwa bubudlelwane bakho obudlulileyo. Baza kukubuza uluvo lwakho ngomntu abambonayo, kwaye banokungena nakwiinkcukacha ezingathandekiyo ukuze bakucaphukise.

7. Basafuna ukuba ngabahlobo nawe

Babo "Uyaphila?" inokuba sisenzo senkxalabo yokwenene. Okanye enye indlela yokufumana ukuqinisekiswa kwaye ubenze bazive belungile ngabo.

• Ukufuna ukuhlala nabahlobo liqhinga nje kuba abafuni ukuba uye kude. Ex yakho ufuna ukukugcina usondele ngokwaneleyo ukuze bahlale benokhetho lokubuyela kunye
• Baqinisekisa ukuba bayavana nawe. Ngoko basenokunimema ukuba nenze izinto ebenizenza xa nikunye, nto leyo eyenza kube nzima ukuba niqhubeke

8. Iimpawu ex yakho ikuvavanya kwimidiya yoluntu? Imidlalo yengqondo kunye nemiqondiso edibeneyo

Kwezinye iintsuku, babonisa uthando. Ngeentsuku ezithile, baya kukubulala. Ngezinye iintsuku, baye baphendule ngokungathi basathandana nawe ngemibhalo ethi “Ndiyakuthanda. Ndiyakukhumbula”. Kwabanye, bakubona-zone wena.

• Kutheni esenza oku ukuziphatha okushushu nokubanda kwenzeke? Abaqinisekanga kakhulu. Abakufuni ubuye kodwa kubabuhlungu xa uzama ukuqhubeka. Abafuni kuphendula ngeempazamo zabo kodwa abafuni kukuyeka uhambe
• Olunye uphawu oluphambili lwesoka lakho langaphambili okanye owayesakuba yintombi ekuvavanyayo kukuba bayazikhusela nanini na xa uchaza indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Le asiyonto ngaphandle kweqhinga lokuphambukisa ingqalelo kwinto yokuba bebedlala imidlalo nawe

9 Bazama ukukucaphukisa

Basenokufuna ukubona ukuba basakuchaphazela kangakanani na emva kokuba nahlukene. Injongo ayikokufumanisa ukuba ukhathala kangakanani, kodwa kukwazi ukuba basenokufumana phantsi kwesikhumba sakho.

• Basenokuthetha into enye emva kwenye ukucofa amaqhosha akho. La magqabaza azakusuka kwi-snarky ukuya kukhubekisayo. Oku kuya kuba nzima kuwe njengoko ubusoloko kunye nabo kwaye ngoko ex yakho uyazi into ekuchaphazela kakhulu
• Ukucatshukiswa kusenokungasoloko kusenziwa ngamazwi. A Umsebenzisi weReddit wabelane ngendlela ex yakhe ngabom engamhoyiyo kangangeveki ukuze abone ukuba uya kusabela njani. Umsebenzisi uxele indlela eyayibuhlungu ngayo le nto kuye njengoko babekwisigaba sokugqibela sokwahlukana kwaye wayekwimeko yokuxhalaba rhoqo ngelo xesha.

10. Baba nostalgic

Research icebisa ukuba abantu abaninzi babonisa iimvakalelo residual for ex zabo emva kokwahlukana. Owakho wangaphambili angasebenzisa ezi mvakalelo zishiyekileyo onazo kubo. Banokukuvavanya ngokuzisa i-nostalgia ekudlaleni, ngolu hlobo:

• Bongeza izithuba ezingezizo kwimidiya yabo yoluntu, ngakumbi izinto ezithetha (okanye ezithetha) kakhulu kuwe
• Basenokuvakalisa i-nostalgia ngaphandle kwelizwi ngokukuxelela ukuba bazigcinile izinto zakho, okanye ngokuzithethelela ngalo lonke ixesha uzama ukuzibuyisela.
• Basenokukhankanya amaxesha amnandi kubudlelwane bakho. Kulumkele oku kwenzekayo ekusondeleni kwabo ngokwasemzimbeni. Basenokude badlale ngawe ngokukukhumbuza kwaye ungaphela ulala nabo-kodwa khumbula, yenye yezona zinto zinkulu. musa ukohlukana nentombi yakho okanye isoka

11 Basoloko becela uncedo kuwe

Abayihoyi nayiphi na imida onayo kwaye babelane ngezinto zobuqu kakhulu nawe. Oku kusebenza ngokuchasene nekhefu elicocekileyo, njengoko uziva unyanzelekile ukuba ubonise uvelwano ngayo yonke into ababelana ngayo nawe.

• Ngaba bangena kwakhona ebomini bakho emva kwexesha elide lokuthula kwaye baqale ukwabelana ngeenkcukacha zomntu? Ngokomzekelo, “Hayi, ndiye ndajamelana nobunzima mvanje, andikhange ndikwazi ukunikela ingqalelo kuba umtshato wabazali bam usengxakini.”
• Abayivumi into yokuba nohlukene nobabini. Bakuthumelela imiyalezo okanye bakufowunele imini yonke kwaye balindele ukuba uphendule njengoko wenzayo xa benikunye nobabini
• Basenokukucela iingcebiso ngomsebenzi wabo, ukwenzakala kwabo, naluphi na unxulumano olutsha, okanye idrama yosapho enzima. Aba bazama nje ukuvavanya ukuba unokuthatha uxanduva ngezigqibo zabo okanye ukuba unokubanika inkxaso yeemvakalelo ngalo lonke ixesha beyifuna.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezili-18 eziqinisekileyo I-Ex yakho iya kubuya ekugqibeleni

12. Bazama ukujonga ukuba utshintshile na okanye hayi

Umhlobo wam uSerena owayesakuba nengxaki yokusela xa babethandana bobabini. Ke, ngamanye amaxesha, ukumvavanya, uSerena uyambuza ukuba usela kangaphi. Wandibuza ngenye imini, “Kutheni endibhalela ngolu hlobo? Ndamxelela ukuba ubuza imibuzo enje ngenxa yokuba inxalenye yethemba lakhe lokuba uye waphila ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ucinga ukuba bangaphinda bazame ukuba uye wasebenza kubukhoboka bakhe endaweni yokuhlala umfana oyityhefu into awayeyiyo.

• Owakho wangaphambili angakuvavanya ukuze azi ukuba uvele kwinguqulelo owawuyiyo ngexesha lokwahlukana-ukuba usebenzele kumsindo wakho, ukungacaci, ubuchule bakho bokunxibelelana, njl.
• Basenokukubuza malunga neminqweno yakho yekamva okanye izicwangciso zakho zomsebenzi ukuba umtshato usezingqondweni zabo

13. Bakubuza ngeemeko ezicingelwayo

A Reddit Umsebenzisi wabelana ngendlela owayekade embuza ngayo imibuzo efana neyokugqibela efana 'nentelekelelo' ngelixa wayenxilile. Oku kucebise ukunqongophala kwemida kunye nokungakhuseleki okuninzi kwi-ex yakhe.

• Umntu owake wathandana naye ukuhlohla ngemibuzo efana nale: Mingaphi iminyaka ozibona utshata? Ucinga ukuba singaphinda siphinde ukuba sikumzi omnye? Ngaba sikhulile ngoku xa sithelekisa naxa sasithandana? Uzolunga xa nditshata nomnye umntu?
• Le mibuzo iya kuba nzulu kwaye ibe yeyakho kwaye unokuqaphela ukungabikho kwentlonipho kwimida yakho. Basenokukhetha ukungakuhoyi ukungonwabi kwakho okanye bavakalise ukuphoxeka ngenxa yokungafumani mpendulo

14. Banyanzelisa ukuba baqhubele phambili

Ukuba kukho ixesha xa ex yakho kuxelwe kwincopho yobomi babo, ngoko kwaba emva kokuhlukana nawe. Bathumele izithuba ezikhuthazayo kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo, kwaye bathi baphila ubomi babo obungcono, kodwa ababonakali ngathi bayahamba kuwe.

• Baqhubeka a rebound dating spree, ukuthumela imifanekiso kunye nabantu abahlukeneyo kwimidiya yoluntu kunye ne-hashtag ye-YOLO kunye ne-carpe diem. Yintoni enika umdla kukuba ex yakho ufuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba ufumana ukubona le mifanekiso kubo ukuthandana umntu, ngoko soze akuvimbe ngala maxesha. Wazi njalo ukuba sisenzo nje
• Bagxininisa ekudibaneni ukuze bakubonise indlela abavuya ngayo kwaye batshintshe ngokupheleleyo kubuntu babo obudala. Injongo yolu vavanyo kukukhangela indawo yakho yengqondo emva kobudlelwane kwaye ukuba usenomdla kubo

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindlela ezili-13 zokubuyela kwi-Ex yakho

15. Banikela inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo

Owakho wangaphambili angazama ukuphinda avuke ukuba kukho into ekukhathazayo. Kungenzeka ukuba basakukhathalele, kodwa kusenokuba kukubona ukuba usenokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kubo. Kulula kakhulu ukuwela oku njengoko sele ukwindawo esengozini, kwaye ubukho babo busebenza njenge-balm eqhelekileyo, epholileyo.

• Uqaphela iitekisi kubo nanini na xa kukho into embi. Zisenokude zenzeke ngokobuqu
• Enye indlela owayesakuba ngumfazi wakho anokubonisa ngayo inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo kukwenza izinto ezithile, njengokuthembisa ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya okanye ukunika uncedo lwemali. Nangona le ndlela yokuziphatha ivakala ilungile, qaphela ukuba bazama ukusondela okanye ukungahoyi nayiphi na imida yobuqu.

Yintoni omawuyenze ukuba iEx yakho ikuvavanya?

Xa uqaphela iimpawu ex yakho kukuvavanya, ngaba ulingeka ukuba ubuyelane kunye nabo? Ngokuka a isifundo kuqhutywa kubudlelwane obungaphandle, kwafunyaniswa ukuba amaqabane angekhoyo akufane kwenzeke ukuba axele izinto ezintle (uthando nokuqondana kumaqabane) kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba axele izinto ezingalunganga (iingxaki zonxibelelwano, ukungaqiniseki) kunamaqabane angakhange ahlukane kwaye ahlaziye. Ezi zezona mpawu zixhaphakileyo ze-a ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?

Nangona kunjalo, akufanele usoloko uxhomekeke kumanani. Nantsi into onokuyenza xa owakho wangaphambili ekuvavanya kulo lonke unxibelelwano:

• Musa ukuphaphazela. Yiba nencoko nje eqhelekileyo, enembeko, nelula. Thetha nabo njengokuba uthetha nomhlobo wakho. Ukuba ubona umntu, thembeka kuye
• Qhubeka uphila ubomi bakho. Uninzi lokwahlukana lubangela ukungabikho kwe-dopamine, ihomoni yokuziva kamnandi. Ngoko ke ungafuna ukubuyela kubo ukuze uzive ulungile, nokuba kuvakala kumbi kamva. AmaNarcisists ahlala esebenzisa oku ukulawula abantu
• Musa ukubanika ingcamango yokuba banokukubuyisela nanini na xa befuna. Yazisa i-ex yakho ukuba ungumntu wakho
• Ukuba ucinga ukuba akukho naziphi na iiflegi ezinkulu ezibomvu kwaye ubudlelwane bakho buphelile ngenxa yezizathu ebezingaphaya kolawulo lwakho, unokusebenzisa imeko ukuze uzuze. Ukuba wena kunye nowakho wangaphambili nikhulile ngokweemvakalelo emva kokwahlukana kwaye ucinga ukuba bazama ukwenza umzamo kuwe, akukho monakalo ukubuyelana ne ex yakho
• Noelle Nelson, Ph.D. isazi ngengqondo kunye nombhali we Ubudlelwane obunobungozi: Ukuchonga njani kwaye uphendule njani kwiimpawu ezisixhenxe ezilumkiso zobudlelwane obuneengxaki, uthi kwincwadi yakhe, “Ukuba ucinga ngokuphinda uqhagamshelane nabanye, nyaniseke ngokupheleleyo kuwe. Endaweni yokukhangela ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo, ukuba ubuyela kunye ne-ex yakho nje ukwenza iimpazamo ezifanayo ezikhokelele ekwahlukaneni kwakho, ulunge ngakumbi
• Nangona kunjalo, kunokuba yimeko ekhohlisayo ukuba ube kuyo kwaye ucinge wedwa. Ngeli xesha ingcali inokukunceda ukuba ujikeleze iimvakalelo zakho ngokucacileyo. Yethu abacebisi kwiphaneli yeBonobology kukucofa nje kude ukukunceda wenze isigqibo esilungileyo

Ukuba uziva ngathi iinkqubo zakho zexabiso azihambelani kwaye wonzakele ngokwaneleyo, akukho sizathu sokuthemba, ukulinda, kwaye unqwenela ukuba bangatshintsha kwaye kuya kuba ngcono ngeli xesha. Ukucinga ukuba nguwe kuphela onokuzibumba zibe ngumntu ohlukileyo licebo elibi. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kungcono ukwenza uxolo kunye nexesha lakho elidlulileyo kwaye uqhubeke.

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