Iimpawu ezingama-20 ukulungele ukuba kubudlelwane obubodwa

Usenokuthandana ngenjongo yokuzonwabisa, kodwa ukuba awukhathazwa ngumbuzo othi “iya phi?” ke mhlawumbi ukulungele ukuba yedwa. Isigqibo sexesha lokuzikhethela siza kufika ngamaxesha ahlukeneyo kumntu wonke. Ayinguye wonke umntu okulungeleyo ukuzibophelela kokukhethekile. Nangona kunjalo, xa uqinisekile malunga nobume bobudlelwane bakho kwaye ulungele inkqubela phambili usaqala ukuphuhlisa umnqweno omkhulu wokuzibophelela.

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Ukuba le mibuzo yoyikekayo ayikukhathazi kwaye wanelisekile yindlela ubudlelwane bakho obubunjwa ngayo oko kuthetha ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo ukulungele ukuba yedwa. Awukoyiki ukuzibophelela okunzulu kwaye ulungele ukunika konke okusemandleni akho kubudlelwane owabelana nabo kunye neqabane lakho.

Ngokweemvakalelo ukwindawo elungileyo ngenxa yokuba ukwazi ukutyala imali kwiqabane lakho kwaye nzulu entliziyweni yakho ufuna ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busebenze. Sele uyithethile loo nto, ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba ukhethekile nini, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba yedwa.

Kuthethwa Ntoni Ngokuthi 'Iqabane Elikhethekileyo'?

Ngaphambi kokuba siqhubele phambili kwiimpawu eziza kukunceda uqonde ukuba ukulungele na ukuba yedwa okanye hayi, singathanda ukuba wazi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba sisibini esikhethekileyo kunye noxanduva olubandakanyayo.

Isibini siba yedwa xa amaqabane esonwabela ukuba kunye kwaye angabinamdla kwaphela wokuthandana nomnye umntu.

Niba sisibini esikhethekileyo xa nobabini nikwiphepha elinye kwaye nithathe isigqibo sokungasukeli nawuphi na omnye umntu ngokuthandana. Ingaba yin NONE Nangona amadoda edume kakubi ngokungafuni ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane, intsingiselo yegama ihlala ifana. Xa umfana efuna ukuzibophelela kuthetha ukuba akasafuni ukukhangela ezinye iindlela kuba efuna ukuba nawe kuphela. Ukuba unokumxelela ukuba wanelisekile ngokupheleleyo nguwe, luphawu lokuba ufuna ukuthandana nawe kuphela.

Ngokulinganayo nonke niyavuma ukuba nobabini nikubudlelwane obubodwa, nizinikele ngokunzulu omnye komnye kwaye niyavuma ukuhlonipha imida ebekwe bubudlelwane benu.

Ukuthandana ngokubodwa kunokuthetha ukuba uthandana kuphela kodwa hayi kubudlelwane. Ukuthandana okukodwa akuthethi ukuba nithandana ngokupheleleyo kodwa ninokuba nincokola nje kwaye nikwinkqubo yokuzinikela omnye komnye.

Ukuba kubudlelwane obubodwa kuthetha ukuba isibini sinikezela ukuzinikela kwexesha elide kubudlelwane kwaye sigqibe ekubeni singabahloli abanye abantu.

Ixesha elingakanani phambi kokuba Ubudlelwane Bube Bukhethekile?

Akukho mpendulo icacileyo yalo mbuzo kuba ixhomekeke ekubeni leliphi inqanaba lobudlelwane enikuso nobabini. Nangona kunjalo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ungangxami ukuba ube yedwa.

Ukuba sithetha ngexesha elichanekileyo, kuthatha phakathi kwe-10-12 imihla ukuba ibe yodwa kodwa ezinye izibini zinokuthatha ukuya kutsho kwimihla engama-24. Ngokuqhelekileyo emva kokuthandana kweenyanga ze-3 izibini zicinga ukwenza ubudlelwane babo bodwa.

Xa uqinisekile ngeemvakalelo zakho kwaye uyazi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ziya kubuyiselwa liqabane lakho ke kuphela kufuneka uthathe inyathelo elilandelayo. Nyaniseka kuwe kwaye ube nengxoxo enyanisekileyo neqabane lakho malunga nokuba busingise phi ubudlelwane bakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo incoko enxulumene nale yenzeka emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa okanye kunjalo, kodwa ixhomekeke ngokupheleleyo apho nina nobabini nimi njengesibini xa nikhethekile.

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Iimpawu ezingama-20 ukulungele ukuba kubudlelwane obubodwa

Ukuba yedwa kunokuba yinto enkulu kuninzi lwakho kuba kubandakanya ukuzinikela kwexesha elide kubudlelwane bakho. Kwingxoxo-mpikiswano phakathi kwe-casual dating vs ukuthandana okukhethekileyo le yokugqibela iwine izandla phantsi. I-Causal dating, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, inomdla kwaye iyonwabisa, nangona kunjalo, ayisiyonto onokuyisukela ixesha elide. Kungekudala ngokwaneleyo uqala ukucinga ngekamva kwaye "ukuba ndikhethekile naye."

Kukunika ilungelo lokucinga ngolonwabo lwakho emva kwexesha nangako konke okulungileyo okunokuvela kuyo. Ngoko musa ukoyika ukwenza umtsi. Ukuba unemvakalelo yokuba ulwalamano lwakho lusingise kwicala elifanelekileyo ngoko kufuneka uthabathe inyathelo.

Nantsi imiqondiso engama-20 yokwazi ukuba ukulungele na ukuba yedwa okanye hayi.

1. Ubudlelwane bakho buyaphumelela kwaye bunempilo

Olu lolona phawu lubalulekileyo lwexesha lokuba umntu abe yedwa kuxa nobabini nonwabile kubudlelwane benu. Nje ukuba uyazi ukuba uphuhlise iqhina elizinzileyo neqabane lakho kuyacaca ukuba nobabini ninokucinga ngokuba ngabakhethekileyo.

Ukuthemba, ukhuseleko, uvelwano, uthando lube sisiseko sobudlelwane bakho. Ubudlelwane obunempilo nobunempumelelo kufuneka benziwe bubodwa ukuze kuqinisekiswe ikamva elihle kunye.

2. Unika iqabane lakho phambili iimfuno neemfuno

Ulwalamano ngalunye lufuna okuthile ubungakanani bombingelelo kunye nokulalanisa. Xa uziva ukuba ukulungele ukwenza ulungelelwaniso olunjalo kulonwabo lwesithandwa sakho ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo ukulungele ukuzibophelela. Xa uthandana nje ngokungaqhelekanga, unokwenza izicwangciso ngokuvumelana nawe, kodwa xa uthatha isigqibo sokubeka iimfuno zeqabane lakho kuqala, uyazi ngoku lixesha lokuba ube yedwa.

Izinto ezinomdla kunye neemfuno zeqabane lakho ziba yeyona nto iphambili ebomini bakho kwaye uhlala ucinga ngaye kuqala. Lo ngumba obaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane obubodwa.

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3. Iqabane lakho lidibene nabahlobo kunye namalungu osapho lwakho

Ukuba ujonge intsingiselo ekhethekileyo yokuthandana ngoko uya kuyibona inemibono emininzi. Ukuba ulithanda ngokwenene iqabane lakho ngoko uya kwenza yonke imizamo yokudibanisa iqabane lakho kusapho lwakho kunye nesangqa sentlalo. Xa ufuna ukuba abantu ababalulekileyo ebomini bakho babone ukudibana nomntu okuye, uyazi ukuba uqala ukuphuhlisa iimvakalelo kubo.

Uya kumenza adibane nabahlobo bakho kunye namalungu osapho kwaye uya kuvuya xa ubafumana bevana. Ngaphezu koko, uya kubonisa umdla wokudibana namalungu osapho lweqabane lakho kunye nabahlobo.

4. Ubhiyozela iimbali zobudlelwane ngenzondelelo enkulu

Uya kwenza amalungiselelo aneenkcukacha kunye nezicwangciso zokubhiyozela imiba yobudlelwane njengesikhumbuzo sakho somhla wokuqala, isikhumbuzo sokuqala sokuncamisa njl.

Nawuphi na umcimbi okhethekileyo weqabane lakho uba yinto ekhethekileyo kuwe ngokunjalo ngenxa yolonwabo lwabo. Umnqweno wakho wokujoyina le minyhadala kunye nokuyenza ibengcono ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho luphawu olucacileyo obuza ngalo ukuba "ngaba ndingakhethwa kuye yedwa?"

5. Uyathuthuzeleka xa uzityand’ igila kwiqabane lakho

Nanini na xa kukho into entle okanye embi eyenzeka ebomini bakho, umntu wokuqala omaziyo ngalo ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo liqabane lakho. Uziva ukhululekile ukwabelana naye ngemicimbi yakho yabucala kwaye uyabathemba ngazo zonke iimfihlo zakho ezinzulu nezimnyama.

Abakugwebi nangaloo nto, enyanisweni, baya kufuna ukwabelana nawe ngezona ndawo zisesichengeni sobomi babo kuba baziva bekhuselekile kunye nawe. Luhlobo olwahlukileyo lwenqanaba lokuthuthuzela owonwabelayo kobu budlelwane bukhethekileyo.

6. Iingxabano ezincinci kunye neengxabano azikukhathazi

Ufikelela kwinqanaba lokuvuthwa apho uyeke khona izinto ezincinci. Iingxabano ezincinci kunye neengxabano onazo kunye neqabane lakho azikukhathazi kwaye ukholelwa ukuba ezi zenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele. Uya kulazi ixesha lokuba ukhethekile neqabane lakho xa ufikelele kwinqanaba lonxibelelwano apho unokusombulula uninzi lwemiba ngokuyithetha nje.

Ngokwenene uqala ukwamkela amaqabane akho nazo zonke iimpawu zakhe ezintle kunye neziphene.

7. Awuyihoyi intuthuko eyenziwa ngabanye abantu

Nokuba umntu ongcono kuneqabane lakho ubonisa umdla kuwe, uyamlahla ngokufanelekileyo kuba uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho lelakho. Xa usazi ukuba unento entle nawe, kutheni ufuna ukutshintsha ukuba ukudibana okungahleliweyo. Ingcinga yokugcina ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho ithatha indawo yolonwabo oludlulayo.

Awusenamdla wokudlala xa umntu ekuncwasa kuba umntu osoloko esengqondweni yakho liqabane lakho.

8. Unokusombulula iingxaki ngoncedo lweqabane lakho

Nanini na xa ujongene nazo naziphi na izigqibo ezinzima ebomini okanye ubambekile kwi-rut ke liqabane lakho elikuncedayo kwaye likuxhase. Oku kuthetha ukuba nobabini niyahambelana ngokugqithisileyo kwaye niza kukwazi ukujongana nayo nayiphi na imeko enzima.

Njengesibini ukuba nobabini niyakwazi ukusombulula imiba kwaye nijonge kwiqabane lakho ngokukhutheleyo amagalelo kwiingxaki zenu ngoko “ngoku” inokuba yimpendulo xa nizikhethela nini iqabane lakho.

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9. Uxoxa ngokufanelekileyo ngekamva lakho neqabane lakho

Uqinisekile ngobudlelwane bakho kangangokuba uxoxa ngezicwangciso zexesha elizayo kunye neqabane lakho ezibandakanya yena. Lo ngumba obaluleke kakhulu obonisa ukuba usingise kububodwa.

Xa usabelana ngokufanelekileyo ngeengcinga kunye nezimvo zakho malunga nekamva kunye oko kuthetha ukuba ukulungele ukuba yedwa kwaye unike ubudlelwane bakho ithuba lokwenyani.

10. Ukuba neqabane lakho asikokwabelana ngesondo kuphela kuwe

ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buqale ngomtsalane wesondo omnye komnye, kodwa ngoku ubudlelwane abukho nje malunga nesondo kuwe, oko kubonisa ukuba uyawa kulo mntu.

Ingcamango nje yokuchitha ixesha elimnandi kunye neqabane lakho lanele ukubangela amabhabhathane esiswini sakho. Ukuba neqabane lakho kufutshane, ukumbamba kunye kunye nokwabelana ngezimvo zakho omnye komnye- zonke ezi zinto zibe zibalulekile kuwe.

11. Uyayihlonipha indawo kunye nexesha leqabane lakho

Uyazi ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buya kusebenza kuphela xa ukwazi ukunika indawo eyaneleyo kunye nexesha kwiqabane lakho. Ukhule ngokwaneleyo ukuba uqonde ukuba ukuba kunye neqabane lakho 24*7 akubalulekanga.

Ngoko uyalihlonela ixesha kunye nendawo yakhe kwaye ngokubuyisela, iqabane lakho lenza okufanayo kuwe. Ufuna uku yakha intlonipho kubudlelwane kwaye olo luphawu olupheleleyo lokuba ufuna ukuba ngokhethekileyo.

12. Awukonqeni ukubonakalisa uthando lwakho

Uvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uthethe amagama amathathu omlingo kwiqabane lakho njengokuba uthetha ngokwenene. Awunazintloni zokubonisa uthando lwakho kuye nokuba luphambi kwezihlobo kunye namalungu osapho.

Nikhululekile ninobabini kwaye xa abantu bekubuza ukuba nithandana na awubi nantandabuzo xa uphendula. Kuba uthando lukuchukumisile kwaye uzibonile iimpawu zokuba ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwane bube bodwa.

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13. Uba ngumntu wakho wokwenyani phakathi kweqabane lakho

Endaweni yokuba uyilumkele into oyithethayo kunye nendlela oziphethe ngayo, uye ukhululeke kwaye ubambe isiqu sakho sokwenyani malunga neqabane lakho.

Awunakuze uzive ungaqhelekanga xa uphakathi kweqabane lakho kuba uyazi ukuba likuthanda ngale ndlela uyiyo. Lo ngumahluko phakathi kokuthandana okungaqhelekanga kunye nokuthandana okukhethekileyo, kuba ngelixa usenza le yokugqibela akufuneki wenze nayiphi na iinzame zokuchukumisa kwakhona.

14. Uyazazi izinto ezithandwa liqabane lakho nangazithandiyo

Nichithe ixesha elininzi kunye kangangokuba uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho lithanda ntoni na lingathandiyo kanye. Nokuba sisinxibo okanye ukutya, uya kukwazi ukuxelela izinto azithandayo ngaphandle kweempazamo. Kwanezinto ezincinci ezifana nokukhumbula ukuba azikuthandi ukutya kwaselwandle okanye ukuba bathanda iimpahla ezivela kwi-brand ethile ibonisa ukuba uyabakhathalela ubomi babo kwinqanaba elisisiseko.

Oku kubonisa ukuba uyakuxabisa okuthandwa liqabane lakho kwaye ubalulekile ebomini bakho.

15. Uhlala ugxilile kwaye unomdla ngamaxesha onke

Kuba wanelisekile kwaye wonwabile kubudlelwane bakho, ubonisa amanqanaba aphezulu enkuthazo kunye nokugxila kuwo wonke umsebenzi owenzayo nokuba ubuchwephesha okanye ubuqu.

Iqabane lakho ngumthombo wenkuthazo kunye nokugxila kwaye ube namandla ngakumbi ukuze iqabane lakho libone okona kulungileyo kuwe. Uyazi kwakhona ukuba unenkxaso yeqabane lakho nto leyo ethetha ukuba uyakwazi ukujongana neengxaki ngokulula ngakumbi.

16. Unxibelelana ngokuphandle neqabane lakho

Awuzigcini iimvakalelo zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho. Nanini na kukho nantoni na ofuna ukwabelana ngayo neqabane lakho, uyenza ngokuthe ngqo.

Uyakuqonda ukubaluleka konxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho ukuze ugcine ijelo lonxibelelwano livulekile. Usenokuba uthandana kuphela kodwa awukabikho kubudlelwane, kuloo meko kwakhona unxibelelwano yingongoma yakho eyomeleleyo.

17. Uzibandakanya kwiPDA

Ulithanda nyani iqabane lakho yiyo lonto ungabinantloni zokumbamba izandla phambi kwabantu okanye umncamise qho xa ufumana ithuba. Siyazi ukuba kunokuba nzima ukubonisa imvakalelo kwihlabathi langaphandle, ngakumbi ngamehlo amaninzi agwebayo, ngoko ke xa uzimisele ukubonisa uthando ngokuphandle, sisigqibo esikhulu. Ibonisa ukuba ngokwenene ukulungele ukuzibophelela kwiqabane lakho.

Ukungabi nangxaki ukutshontsha ukwanga esidlangalaleni luphawu olupheleleyo lokuba ukulungele ukuba kubudlelwane obubodwa.

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18. Unika iqabane lakho amagama awodwa

Ekubeni iqabane lakho lingumntu obalulekileyo ebomini bakho, udla ngokumnika amagama athetha lukhulu kuwe.

La magama anexabiso leemvakalelo kuwe kwaye xa ubiza iqabane lakho ngegama elinjalo oko kuthetha ukuba umenze waphambili ebomini bakho.

19 Ulikrobele indawo iqabane lakho ekhayeni lakho

Kusenokubakho idrowa ekhethekileyo ekhayeni lakho apho izinto zobuqu zeqabane lakho zigcinwa njengempahla eyongezelelweyo, impahla yangaphantsi, ibhrashi yamazinyo, ikama njl. Oku kuthetha ukuba uyayixabisa intuthuzelo kunye nolonwabo lwabo ngaphezu kokulula kwakho. Olu luphawu olucacileyo lokuba uziva ukhethekile kubudlelwane.

Xa usenzela iqabane lakho indawo oko kubonisa ukuba ukulungele ukumamkela ngokusisigxina ebomini bakho.

20. Uhlala unxibelelana neqabane lakho

Nokuba ngemiyalezo okanye ngeefowuni, uhlala unxibelelana neqabane lakho kwaye uyazi ukuba luhamba njani usuku lwakhe, zeziphi izicwangciso anazo zosuku njalo njalo.

Iqabane lakho nalo likhululekile ngombono wokuthumela imiyalezo kunye nokukufowunela nanini na xa lifuna, ngaphandle kokusesikweni. Konke ukungahambi kakuhle kwangaphambili kuthathelwa indawo yintuthuzelo yokwazi ukuba iqabane lakho lizimisele kwaye liyavuya ukunxibelelana nawe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba umkhulu okanye umncinci kangakanani umba.

Ukuba ukholelwa ngokuqinileyo ukuba iqabane lakho lifanelekile ukuligcina kwaye ulixabise ngoko lixesha lokuba uzimele kunye naye. Kutheni ulibazisa inkqubo yokukhulisa ubudlelwane bakho kwaye ubenze bomelele ngokungathabathi inyathelo elilandelayo elifanelekileyo. Thetha neqabane lakho ngayo ngokukhawuleza kwaye ujabulele uhambo lothando lokwenene kunye.

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