Iingcebiso ezi-7 zokuxolela i-Boyfriend yokukopela

Ukukopa kusenokuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kubantu abahlukeneyo, kodwa ekugqibeleni, kubuhlungu. Intlungu nokphuka kwentliziyo ozivayo xa ufumanisa ukuba isoka lakho likuqhathile akunakunyamezeleka. Ulithembe ngokunzulu iqabane lakho ngoko kuyacaca ukuba uziva wothukile, ulimele kwaye unomsindo, zonke ngaxeshanye xa ufunda ngokungcatshwa kwakhe. Phakathi kwazo zonke ezi ziphithiphithi ngokweemvakalelo, nawe unomnye umsebenzi onzima ojonge kuwe ebusweni - indlela yokuxolela iqabane elikopelayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ufuna ukumnika elinye ithuba okanye uqhubeke.

Akulunganga ukuba ubomi bakho buye buyehla ngenxa yokungathembeki kweqabane lakho nangona ungumntu othembekileyo. Ke into ekufuneka uyenzile ngeli xesha kukufunda ukuxolela kwaye uqhubeke. Ukufumana uxolo lwangaphakathi kunye nokuyeka ukucaphuka ngaphakathi entliziyweni yakho kubalulekile ukuxolela isoka lokukopela kwaye uqhubeke. Kodwa oko kulula ukuthetha kunokukwenza. Umbuzo wendlela yokuxolela isoka lokukopela unokukuthuthumbisa njengoko uzama ukujamelana nale ngxaki.

Nangona kungelula, kunye nexesha, umgudu kunye nezixhobo ezifanelekileyo zokucwangcisa iimvakalelo zakho, unokuyeka ukuxhalaba kunye nokulimala. Kwaye ukhulule, kufuneka, ngenxa yakho. Ewe, naxa ilizwi ngaphakathi kuwe likhala lithe cwaka: Andinakuxolela isoka lam ngokukopela.

Kulula kangakanani ukuxolela isoka elaqhatha?

Xa ungena kubudlelwane, uthandana kakhulu kangangokuba uzive ukwindawo ekhuselekileyo kwaye akukho konwaba emhlabeni kunokukuchukumisa. Kodwa ngenye imini mhlawumbi ngokufuna kwakho ukwazi okanye a ukuvuma kumfana wakho, uye wazi ukuba ukuqhathile.

Kulapho kanye umhlaba wakho usiba phantsi kwaye uzibuze - ndingenza ntoni nomntu owaphule intliziyo yam kwaye wamthemba? Ngaba ukuxolela iqabane ukukopela kuyinto elungileyo ukuyenza? Ngaba unokuze umxolele iqabane eliqhathayo? Ukuxolela isoka eliye linganyanisekanga kuwe akulula.

Ucinga ngokuxolela isoka lokukopela kuba nzulu uthando lwakho ngaye luyinyani kwaye uvakalelwa kukuba mhlawumbi uya kuzilungisa iindlela zakhe. Noko ke, ukuxolela umntu okungcatshayo akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Ukuze uxolele isoka lakho, kuya kufuneka womelele ngokwaneleyo kwaye uyamkele inyaniso eqatha kuqala.

Emva koko, kuya kufuneka uzinike ixesha lokuphilisa kunye nokusombulula umsindo onawo ngakuye. Kuya kufuneka uqonde imbono yakhe kwaye ujongane nayo yonke imeko ngokufanelekileyo.

Khumbula ukuba ukuxolelwa kuya kuba sisipho kungekhona kumfana wakho kodwa kuwe. Ukumxolela akuthethi ukuba ulungile kwinto ayenzileyo kwaye unokulunga ukuba iphinde yenzeka kwakhona. Umbono emva kokuthatha isigqibo sokuxolela ukukopela kubudlelwane asikokumnika ikhadi lokuphuma entolongweni kodwa ukunceda ukuphiliswa kwakho. Yindlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba awubi ngumntu onenzondo nenzondo.

Uxolelo kunye nokubuyiselwa kubudlelwane emva kokuphazamiseka okunamandla akulula ukuza, kodwa zibalulekile ukuze uqiniseke ukuba awubopheleli kweso siganeko kwaye uyivumele ichaze ubomi bakho. Mhlawumbi emva kokuxolela isoka lakho, unokucinga ngokunika ithuba lesibini kubudlelwane bakho kunye nethemba lekamva elimnandi kunye.

Okanye mhlawumbi ungasuka nje uqhubeke, kodwa ngaphandle kokucaphuka. Kufuneka ulahle ubunzima bentlungu engaphakathi kuwe kwaye uyibeke kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo. Akufanelekanga ukukhala ngenxa yeqabane elingathembekanga. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuxolela iqabane lakho xa likuqhathile.

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Iingcebiso ezi-7 zokuxolela i-Boyfriend yokukopela kwaye uqhubele phambili

Ukungcatshwa kunye nokwenzakaliswa ngumfana wakho kunokuba ngamava athobileyo kwaye abuhlungu. Kodwa mhlawumbi uya kuphuma kwesi sikhundla siyingozi njengomntu onamandla kunye nobulumko. Ukuxolela isoka lokukopela akuyonto ingaphantsi komdlalo ngokwawo. Yiyo loo nto nangona ufuna ukujonga ngaphaya kwesikreqo samasoka akho, usenokuzifumana uzibuza: kutheni ndingakwazi ukumxolela ngokuqhatha?

Ewe, oko kungokwemvelo. Ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukuqonda indlela yokuxolela iqabane lokukopela, kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba ufanelwe ukuxolelwa kwakho. Uxolelo kubudlelwane emva kwesiganeko ukukopela akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uthathe iqabane lakho emva. Kuthetha ukuba ukhetha ukungavumeli izigqibo zabo zichaphazele impilo yakho yengqondo.

Uya kufunda kula mava kwaye ufumane ithuba lokudibana nomntu okufanele ngokwenene. Akukho sizathu sokuqumbela iqabane elingathembekanga kwaye wonakalise ubomi bakho. "Ndingamxolela njani umfana oqhathayo?" ngumbuzo esibuzwa rhoqo. Ngoko ke, nazi iingcebiso ezi-7 zokuxolela isoka elikhohlisayo kubo bonke abo bakholelwa kumathuba esibini kunye nabo bafuna ukuhamba ngemithwalo-free:

1. Kuphephe ukuba neemvakalelo kakhulu

Nje ukuba ufumanise ukungathembeki, ithuku lakho lokuqala liya kuba kukukhwaza kwaye ukhwaze kwaye uthobe isithandwa sakho ngeyona ndlela imbi kakhulu. Umsindo uya kukwenza ufune ukwenza ngokungekho ngqiqweni. Zama ukunganikezeli kwezi mvakalelo kuba zikholisa ukuba neziphumo ezibi kakhulu. Kwangaxeshanye, musa ukuvumela iimvakalelo zigubungele isigwebo sakho ekuxoleleni umqhathi ngokukhawuleza.

Ukuba uxolela ukukopela kubudlelwane phambi kokuba ube nethuba lokujongana nentlungu kunye nokulimala, unokuphela kunye nokungakhathali okukhulu kwebhotile kwiqabane lakho kunye nobudlelwane ngokubanzi. Oko akunempilo nokuba uzama ukwakha kwakhona ubudlelwane emva kokukopela okanye ukuguqula igqabi elitsha.

Ukuze ukwazi ukuxolela ngokwenene iqabane lakho, kufuneka uhlukane naye kangangexesha elithile emva kokuba ukungathembeki kubonakale. Khupha eyona ndawo imbi kakhulu yesiphango ngokuzolileyo uze ucinge ngentloko ecacileyo. Kuhlala kungcono ukuba uphephe ukugqabhuka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uzole kuqala. Abaqhathi banokuthetha ezona zinto zingaqhelekanga xa bejongene, ngoko ke kubalulekile ukuba ungene kuyo nayiphi na incoko ejikeleze isehlo ngentloko epholileyo, elinganayo.

Ngokukhathazeka kakhulu, unokugqiba ukuthetha into eyonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho ngonaphakade. Awuyi kukwazi ukuqonda imbono yesithandwa sakho okanye ukwazi ukumxolela. Ukuphulukana nokuphola kwakho kubi kwimeko yakho yengqondo kwaye akufanelekanga.

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2. Cela umfana wakho ukuba abelane ngeenkcukacha malunga nokuthandana

Ukuba ucinga ukuba, “andinakumxolela umfana endithandana naye ngokuqhatha”, isenokuba kungenxa yokuba unokucinga ngezona meko zimbi entlokweni yakho malunga nokuthandana kwesithandwa sakho. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba umcele ukuba abelane ngeenkcukacha zesi siganeko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunjani ukumamela xa echaza unxulumano olusondeleyo nomnye umfazi.

Kuphi kwaye kwaqala njani, ixesha elide kangakanani, kutheni wagqiba ekubeni ahambe nayo kunye nokunye - le mibuzo enzima kwaye nguye kuphela onokunika impendulo kubo. Oku kuya kukunceda wenze isigqibo sokuba uyafuna okanye awufuni ukumbuyisela. Umzekelo, impendulo yokuba unokuxolela umntu ngokukopela okunxilisayo inokwahluka kakhulu ekucingeni indlela yokuxolela ukukopela ngokweemvakalelo.

Ewe, abantu badla ngokuthi ukukopa kukuqhatha. Oko kuyinyaniso ukusa kumlinganiselo omkhulu kodwa iimeko ezakhokelela ekunxaxheni, isimo sengqondo somfana wakho kwi emva kokuqhathwa kunye nemeko yobudlelwane bakho yonke into xa uzama ukufumanisa indlela yokuxolela iqabane lokukopela. Umzekelo, ukuxolela umyeni ukukopela izihlandlo ezininzi okanye ukufumana phezu ukungcatshwa ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni kunokuba nzima kakhulu kunokuba udlule ubusuku obunye.

Ukuba ukholelwa ngokwenene ukuba yinto engafanelekanga kuye kwaye iyenzeka kanye, unokucinga ngokumxolela. Ukwazi icala lakhe lebali kunyanzelekile ukwakha ukuthembana kubudlelwane kwakhona. Lonke olu lwazi luya kukunceda ukhulule intlungu kwaye ufumane ukuvalwa okufunekayo. Ukuba ukhetha ukungambuzi, le mibuzo iya kuqhubeka ikukhathaza. Oku kuya kukwenza ungabinako ukuxolela ngokwenene isoka eliqhathayo.

3. Nikani isithuba nexesha elaneleyo omnye komnye

Indlela ukuxolela iqabane ukukopela? Nikelani omnye nomnye ixesha kunye nesithuba sokujonga le nkxwaleko. Eyona ndlela ingcono yokwenza oko kukuthatha ikhefu. Hamba uhambe, ukhale egumbini lakho, ubethe i-gym - nantoni na enokukunceda ukuba ucinge kakuhle. Endaweni yokuba ubambelele kumfana wakho, kufuneka umnike indawo kwaye ugcine isidima sakho. Zinike ixesha elaneleyo kunye nexesha lokucinga ngento eyenzekileyo nokuba uyafuna na ukusindisa ubudlelwane bakho okanye hayi.

Kukwalungile ngokupheleleyo ukuthatha iintsuku ezimbalwa okanye iiveki ukucubungula iimvakalelo zakho ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ngokuphilisa nokuxolela. Ngeli xesha, musa ukudibana naye kwaye unciphise ukunxibelelana naye. Ukuba nihlala kunye, ninokucinga ngokufuduka okwexeshana. Oku kuya kukunceda ucoce intloko yakho kwaye ufumane ukucaca kwinto oyifunayo ngokwakho. Ukuxolela iqabane ukukopela, ke, kuba tad lula.

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4. Thatha uncedo lwabantu ababalulekileyo ebomini bakho

“Kutheni ndingenakumxolela ngokuqhatha?” "Ndikuxolela njani ukukopela ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ndakhe kwakhona ubudlelwane bam?" “Kuthekani ukuba akasandithandi?” “Kuthekani ukuba uyaqhatha kwakhona?” Le mibuzo inokukuqhubela eludongeni, ngakumbi ukuba useneemvakalelo ezinzulu malunga nesithandwa sakho.

Eli lixesha apho ufuna ibhodi yesandi ethembekileyo ebomini bakho. Abona bantu babalulekileyo ebomini bakho - abahlobo bakho abasenyongweni kunye nosapho - banokukunceda wenze isigqibo esilungele wena. Abayi kukugweba kwaye baya kukukhokela ngokufanelekileyo. Njengabangaphandle, baya kukwazi ukuqonda ingxaki yakho ngokwembono enenjongo. Ngoncedo lwabo, unokufumana ukucaca malunga nokuba ubudlelwane bakho bufanelekile ukulwa.

Ngamanye amaxesha, imbono engathathi hlangothi kodwa ephilileyo yinto oyifunayo ukuxolela ukukopela kubudlelwane. Abantu obathandayo banomdla wakho entliziyweni kwaye baya kubakho ukukuxhasa ngeli xesha lovavanyo. Musa ukuphepha ukungqiyama kubo ngokufuna inkxaso; awunazintloni ngayo.

5. Yiya kumcebisi oyingcali okanye therapist

Ukuze unxibelelane ngokufanelekileyo kwaye usebenze kwiingxaki zakho, unokutyelela umcebisi okanye umcebisi. Ukufumana umntu wesithathu oqeqeshiweyo obandakanyekayo kuya kukuvumela ukuba ubone izinto ngembono ecacileyo. Basenokukwazi ukuchonga iingxaki kubudlelwane bakho obungazazi nokuba zikhona.

Ngoncedo lomlamli, nobabini niya kukwazi ukujongana nale meko yeemvakalelo ngendlela ekhule kakhulu. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busebenze kwaye uxolele ngokwenene isoka lokukopela, cinga ngokubona ingcali. Ukungena unyango lwezibini yindlela esebenzayo yokuxolela isoka lakho ngokukopela.

Umgqirha unokukunceda ukuba uqhagamshelane neemvakalelo zakho, uzihlele kwaye udibanise nesoka lakho kwakhona. Nokuba unqwenela ukuphelisa ubudlelwane kwaye uqhubeke, ukufuna unyango kusenokuvelisa iziphumo ezintle ekunciphiseni umngcipheko wokuzibophelela okanye iindlela zokuncamathela ezingakhuselekanga.

Ukuba uyasokola ukufumana indlela yokuxolela iqabane eliqhathayo kwaye ujonge uncedo, abacebisi abanezakhono nabanamava Iphaneli yeBonobology zilapha ngenxa yakho. Baye banceda abantu abaninzi ukuba badlule kumqolo wokungathembeki, kwaye nawe unokungenelwa kukhokelo lwabo lobuchwephesha.

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6. Funda ukuba nomonde

Xa usazi malunga nokungcatshwa kweqabane lakho, ubomi bakho buya kutshintsha ngobusuku. Kuya kufuneka ujongane nemiceli mngeni emininzi ngelixa uqhuba yonke imeko. Ubudlelwane bakho bungasayi kuphinda bufane. Umbuzo wokuba ngaba unokuze uxolele iqabane lokukopela liya kujongeka kakhulu.

Kule meko, umonde ngumhlobo wakho omhle. Kufuneka ufunde ukuba nomonde ukuze uxolele isoka lakho kwaye uqhubeke, kunye okanye ngaphandle kwakhe. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, kufuneka uzinike wena kunye nobudlelwane bakho ixesha elaneleyo lokuphola. Akukho ziqinisekiso zokuba kungekudala uya kuba nakho ukubeka oku kophulwa kwentembeko ngasemva kwakho.

Undoqo kukuhlala uzama kwaye ugxile ekwenzeni inkqubela encinci, usuku olunye ngexesha. Ukuxolela umntu okhohlisayo ngokukhawuleza yimpazamo eyenziwa ngabantu abaninzi kwaye ibuye ibuyele kubo ngeyona ndlela ingalindelekanga. Khumbula ukuba inxeba linzulu, liza kuthatha ixesha ukuba liphole, kwaye naxa sele liphelile, lishiya izilonda ngasemva. Ke, misela ulindelo lwakho ngokwenyani ukuze ukwazi ukuxolela ukukopela kubudlelwane.

7. Yenza isigqibo sakho sokugqibela

Indlela yokuxolela iqabane elikhohlisayo kwaye ufanele? Ngokuqinisekileyo oku kunzima ukufowuna. Qinisekisa ukuba ulinganisela okulungileyo kunye nokubi ngononophelo ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo sakho sokugqibela. Ukuba uzimisele ukwamkela isoka lakho kuba ukulungele ukutshintsha iindlela zakhe, ngoko ke ngandlela zonke umnike elinye ithuba.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba isoka lakho alinangxaki kwaye akanamdla kubudlelwane kwakhona, kungcono ukuba uyeke uqhubeke. Kodwa qiniseka ukuba uyamxolela umfana wakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isigqibo osenzayo, ngenxa yempilo yakho yengqondo noxolo. Nje ukuba wenze isigqibo sakho - nokuba yintoni na - namathela kuso.

Sukudlala okanye uvumele izibongozo zeqabane lakho zikwenze uqikelele ukuba isigqibo sakho. Kungenjalo, usenokuzifumana usebugxwayibeni bobudlelwane obunetyhefu kwakhona, kwaye ukuphuma kuloo nto kunzima kakhulu kunokuxolela iqabane elikopelayo.

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Kuthekani ukuba uye waqhatha izihlandlo ezininzi?

Ngoku kuza umbuzo wethu wesibini omkhulu - Ungamxolela njani umntu okuqhathile izihlandlo ezininzi? Ewe, akukho mpendulo icacileyo kulo mbuzo. Kodwa ukuba umntu ukukopela izihlandlo ezininzi oko kuthetha ukuba ukukopela kumiliselwe kumlingiswa wakhe.

Wakha weva ibinzana kanye umqhathi, usoloko uphinda? Kukho inyaniso kule ngxelo. Ukukopela iqabane lakho amaxesha amaninzi kukhomba kwimiba enzulu yokuzibophelela. Amathuba kukuba akayi kuphucula phezu kwazo nje izithembiso azenzayo. Akakuhloneli nothando omnika lona ngokukrexeza ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Ngoko ke mhlobo wam, lawula imeko kwaye wohlukane naye. Ukuthathela phantsi kunye noxolelo lwakho.

Isoloko ingabantu abasondeleyo kuthi abanamandla okusenzakalisa ngeyona ndlela imbi kakhulu. Kwaye kuhlala kusemandleni ethu ukubaxolela kwaye sigxile ekwenzeni ubomi bethu bubengcono. Akukho sizathu sokuchitha amathuba akho okudibana nomntu ongcono ngokuchitha ixesha lakho nomntu ongeyondoda yamazwi abo. Ycinge.

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