Kutheni Umtshato Ubalulekile? Uluhlu lweeNgcali ezili-13 izizathu

Umtshato njengeziko udlule kwizinto ezininzi. Kangangeenkulungwane, ibibanjelwe imbeko njengesenzo sokugqibela sabantu ababini abadityaniswe kweyona ndawo ingcwele, eyona ingcwele yeebhondi, kangangokuba umbuzo wokuba kutheni ubalulekile wachazwa. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, njengoko ulwakhiwo lwentsapho kunye nobudlelwane buba bumanzi ngakumbi, ukufaneleka kweli ziko kwafakwa phantsi kwesikena.

Ngelixa iinkolelo ezininzi zeli ziko zinokuthi zithathwe njengezinto zakudala kwiminyaka yobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo, ubudlelwane obuhlala kubudlelwane, njalo njalo - zonke ezo ziyindlela eqinileyo kwaye esebenzayo yokwakha ubomi ekwabelwana ngayo nomntu, phantse akunakwenzeka ukukhanyela okanye ukucima ukubaluleka komtshato ngokupheleleyo. Ukususela ngo-2017, a isifundo yabonisa ukuba i-50% yabantu baseMelika abaneminyaka eyi-18 nangaphezulu babetshatile. Eli linani elizinzile ngokufanelekileyo kwiminyaka yakutshanje, kodwa lehle nge-8% ukusukela ngoo-1990. Nangona kunjalo, kwi-a Ucwaningo lwe-2010, I-85% yaseMelika ichaza umtshato oyimpumelelo njengento ebaluleke kakhulu kubo. Kodwa kanye kutheni umtshato ubalulekile?

Masijonge ngakumbi ukubaluleka komtshato ngokubonisana nomqeqeshi wobudlelwane Geetarsh Kaur, umseki weSikolo seZakhono esigxile ekwakheni ubudlelwane obuluqilima. Siza kuxoxa ngeenzuzo zomtshato kunye nendawo yawo kubudlelwane bale mihla kwilinge lokuqonda ukuba kutheni uhlala usuyona njongo iphambili ebomini kuninzi lwabafazi abangatshatanga kunye namadoda kuzo zonke iindawo, iinkcubeko, kunye namanani abantu.

Kutheni Abantu Betshata?

Ngekhekhe kunye nezipho, kunjalo! Hayi? Ke, kufuneka ibe luthando. Njengoko ngoko-a Ucwaningo lwe-2017, 88% of baseMelika bavakalelwa kukuba uthando lelona candelo ibalulekileyo umtshato kwaye esona sizathu ukuya phambili. Ngoku, oku kunokwahluka kwiijografi kunye neenkcubeko, kunjalo.

“Abanye abantu batshata kuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo kuba oko kuyinto elindelekileyo kubo, abanye bafuna ubuhlobo nokuhlalisana, ukubhiyozela ubomi, nokwenza iinkumbulo, abanye bakwenzela intsapho kuphela nokuzalisekisa oko kulindelwe luluntu.

“Umtshato uyawabona amahla ndinyuka kodwa umbuzo wokuba kutheni ukhethe ukutshata unokuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kubantu abahlukahlukeneyo.” Noko ke, ukuba uqinisekile ukuba uya kutyhubela kubo nabuphi na ubunzima ngobubele nangesidima, ukuba wena neqabane lakho nisoloko nicinga ukuba niza kuphumelela. indlela yokuba ngumyeni ongcono okanye umfazi, uyazi ukuba ukhethe kakuhle,” utsho uGeetarsh.

Impendulo ethi “yintoni injongo yomtshato” inokwahluka kubantu abahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, nazi ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba umtshato uhlala ubalulekile kuninzi lwabantu abaninzi:

• Ubuqabane obude, obuhlala buhleli. Kuxhomekeka ekubeni utshata nini, unokuba nethemba lokuchitha phakathi kwesibini kwisithathu nesinye kwisithathu sobomi bakho neqabane lakho
• Njengoko abantu ababini bedibanisa ngokusemthethweni iimpahla zabo kunye nemivuzo, banokuphila ubomi obunomthwalo omncinci wemali kunabalingane babo.
• Amaqabane anokuba ngumthombo wokuxhasana ngokweemvakalelo
• Ukukhulisa abantwana kuba lula xa uneqabane ozakwabelana nalo ngezilingo neembandezelo zobuzali
• Kubantu abaninzi, umtshato uthetha ukhuseleko nokwamkelwa okukhulu eluntwini
• Kutheni abantu betshata? Ngenxa yokuba ibonwa njengeyona ndlela iphakamileyo yokuzibophezela ongayenza komnye umntu
• Kwakhona iinkolelo zonqulo zinendima ebalulekileyo kwisigqibo sabantu sokutshata

Njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambili, iimpendulo zesizathu sokuba abantu batshate zinokwahluka njengokuba bebaninzi abantu beli hlabathi. Izizathu zisenokwahluka kwiinkcubeko ezahlukeneyo - ukusuka kumbhiyozo wothando kunye nokuzibophelela ukuya ekubeni ngumba wokubambelela kwintlalontle. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, ukubaluleka komtshato ekuzinziseni ubume boluntu akunakuthotywa. Kwaye kutheni kunjalo? Makhe sifumanise.

Kutheni Umtshato Ubalulekile? 13 Izizathu

Ethetha ngentsingiselo yomtshato, uGeetarsh uthi: “Umtshato lilungiselelo elihle, ukuba nje ufumana iqabane elifanelekileyo.

Kwabo bebesoloko bezibuza, “Ngaba umtshato ufanelekile? ", Sifuna ukuthi umtshato ngokuqinisekileyo unamandla okuzisa ubuhle kunye nobutyebi ebomini xa uyenziwe ngokufanelekileyo - "kwenziwe ngokufanelekileyo" ibe ngamazwi asebenzayo. Sithathe i-peek kwi-whys kunye ne-forfores yomtshato, kodwa ekubeni sonke sizama ukufumana inyani, makhe sifike emathanjeni ezinto kwaye sijongane nombuzo owazise apha: kutheni umtshato ubalulekile? Nazi izizathu ze-13: ingcali yomtshato?

1. Uzinzo kwezoqoqosho

"Jonga, ndiyamthanda umyeni wam kwi-bits - ndithanda yonke into ngaye. Kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo, umahluko uyawenza ukuba nekhaya elinengeniso emibini, ukwazi ukuba sinokusayina kwi-mortgage kunye nokunye yinxalenye enkulu kunye nesiqabu kum emva kweminyaka yokuzabalaza ndedwa," utsho uKaty, umfundi wase-Philadelphia, wongeza, "Ndiyonwabele ubomi obubodwa njengoko ndiqala ukukhangela imoto okanye ukuthenga imoto yam. i-inshurensi yezempilo, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba neqabane kwenza kube lula kakhulu.”

Imali kunye nomtshato zithungelana ngokusondeleyo. Nangona uthando kunye nomtshato wamaphupha akho uyamangalisa, ukwabelana ngomthwalo wemali yenye yeenzuzo ezingenakuphikiswa zomtshato. Oku kukwasisizathu esikhulu sokuba umtshato ubalulekile. UGeetarsh uthi: “Umtshato uzisa uzinzo lwezoqoqosho, nto leyo ebangela kubekho uxolo.” Akupheleli nje ekuhlukaniseni imali neqabane lakho okanye nibe nemali engakumbi njengesibini esitshatileyo kunokuba beniya kwenjenjalo xa ningatshatanga kodwa ninokukhetha ukubhenela kwiintsapho zenu ukuze nifumane uncedo ngamaxesha obunzima okanye okanye xa kunzima,” utsho njalo uGeetarsh. Nazi ezinye iingenelo zemali zokutshata ongenakuzihoya:

• Ukufaneleka koKhuseleko lweNtlalo yeqabane kunye neenzuzo zokuphila
• Ukubanakho kokuthotywa kwerhafu ngcono kunye neenzuzo
• Izibini ezitshatileyo ezinemivuzo ephindwe kabini zinamathuba angcono okufumana imali yokubambisa ngokuthenga okubalulekileyo
• Isipho esinesisa kunye nezibonelelo zerhafu yezindlu
• Ukonga kwizavenge zeinshorensi

2. Inkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye nokhuseleko

Kukho ubumnandi obuthile bokwazi ukuba ubuyela ekhaya kumntu omnye yonke imihla, ukuba uzibophe kunye ngokukhetha ubomi bakho bonke kwaye uyazazi ii-quirks kunye ne-eccentricities yomnye kwaye (ubukhulu becala) uzimisele ukuhlala nabo. Kukho ukuthuthuzela okufanayo, kufana nesikipa esidala othanda ukusilalisa ebusuku emva kobusuku, okanye isitulo osirhole usuka kumgangatho ongaphantsi kootatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho.

Asikuko ukwenza umtshato uvakale njengongumsonto nothuli, kodwa inkxaso yeemvakalelo nonqabiseko lunokuba sesona sizathu sibalulekileyo sokuba umtshato ubaluleke kubomi bethu. Sonke sifuna iqabane elizinzileyo, umntu esinokubuyela kuye ngeentsizi kunye namaxhala ethu, umntu esimaziyo ukuba uya kuba khona kwaye abe nomqolo wethu nokuba kwenzeka ntoni - umtshato unazo zonke iingxaki. iziseko zenkxaso ubudlelwane bufuna.

UGeetarsh uthi: “Ninokuxubusha kwanezona nkalo zibalulekileyo zobomi benu neqabane lomtshato.” Nichazelana ngeengxaki zenu, niziva nikhuselekile ukwabelana ngezinto ezinixhalabisayo yaye niyathuthuzeleka kukwazi ukuba nobabini nisebenza njengeqela ukuze nibone indlela eninokuzoyisa ngayo.” Nanku umntu enikhululekile ukuba kunye naye,” utsho uGeetarsh.

Umtshato osempilweni ufana nengubo yokhuseleko ejikeleze intliziyo yakho, apho ungasoloko uzibuza ukuba uyakufanelekela na kulwalamano. Nokuba kukho ukungakhuseleki kobudlelwane, unenkululeko yokuthetha ngayo kuba uyazi ukuba unendlebe evumayo kunye negxalaba kwiqabane lakho.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindlela ezi-8 zokuhlakulela uKhuseleko lweMphefumlo kubudlelwane bakho

3. Umtshato uzisa imvakalelo yoluntu

Umtshato uzisa imvakalelo yokubandakanyeka, kungekuphela nje kwiqabane lakho, kodwa kwintsapho yabo kunye noluntu ngokubanzi. UShane, umfundisi-ntsapho womdaniso waseWoodstock uthi: “Umtshato wawulisango kum, ndandingasoloko ndisondelelene kakhulu nentsapho yakowethu, kodwa emva kokuba nditshatile, intsapho enkulu nefudumeleyo yeqabane lam yandamkela ngezandla ezishushu. amandla osapho olusempilweni. "

Uluntu alwenziwanga ngomtshato kuphela, kunjalo, kodwa ukuba uyazibuza ukuba yintoni injongo yomtshato, yindawo entle yokuqala ukuba yinxalenye yothungelwano olubanzi kunye nesangqa sabantu. Njengoko umbhali uRebecca Wells wabhalayo, “Sonke singabagcini bomnye”, kwaye umtshato kunye noluntu olunokukhokelela kulo bubungqina bokwenyani boku.

4. Umtshato sisiqinisekiso sokuzibophelela kwakho

Kukho into malunga nokuma phambi kwakhe wonke umntu omthandayo (kwaye mhlawumbi abambalwa ongabafuniyo!) kwaye uthi, “Jonga, ndiyamthanda lo mntu kwaye ndifuna ihlabathi lonke liyazi. isenzo sothando.” Kukho into malunga nokuvakalisa ngetheko elikhulu kunye nechampagne eninzi kunye noxwebhu olusemthethweni kunye nomsesane Nkqu nentliziyo yam eyi-wizened, ekhohlakeleyo iya kukufumanisa kunzima ukuphikisana kakhulu naloo nto.

Njengomntu onenkani ongatshatanga nam, ndihlala ndibuza abahlobo ukuba kutheni bexhume. Yintoni eyabangela ukuba babone ukubaluleka komtshato? Amaxesha ngamaxesha bandixelela ukuba ivakale nje ngathi kukuqina kothando, ukuzibophelela. Njengenyathelo lokugqibela, kodwa kunye nenyathelo lokuqala kubudlelwane. Isiqinisekiso seemvakalelo ababesazi ukuba banazo, kodwa babefuna ukubeka igama kunye nelebhile kuyo. Ngaphandle kweenyaniso ezimbi ezifana namazinga oqhawulo-mtshato aphezulu, esi siqinisekiso sothando nokuzibophelela sisesinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuba abantu batshate.

UGeetarsh ulumkisa ngelo xesha ukuzibophelela emtshatweni ngenene inokuba ngumnqweno, kubalulekile ukukhumbula imitshato elungileyo yakhiwa ngumsebenzi ongaguqukiyo kunye nomzamo wokuqonda ngamaqabane omabini. Uthi: “Ilungiselelo lomtshato aliqinisekisi ukumanyana, kusafuneka nikhethe ukuba kunye yonke imihla, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ziziphi izilingo ojamelana nazo.

5. Umtshato ulungile empilweni

Asikho nokuba glib okanye cliched xa sisithi umtshato ulungile kwimpilo yakho ngokwasemoyeni kunye nomzimba. A isifundo ibonisa ukuba abantu abangatshatanga basengozini ye-42% ephezulu yokuba nesifo se-cardiovascular disease kunye ne-16% yengozi ephezulu yokuphuhlisa isifo se-coronary kunabantu abatshatileyo. Umtshato unokugcina intliziyo yakho yonwabile ngakumbi, kubonakala ngathi. Enye isifundo ibonisa ukuba abantu abatshatileyo baphila ixesha elide. Oku kuyinyaniso ngokukodwa kumadoda atshatileyo.

Mhlawumbi asikokuzikhathaza ngokwenza yonk’ into uwedwa nokuba nomntu oza kuthulula kuye aze angxole xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle. Mhlawumbi uyakwazi ukuphumla ujikeleze kwiipjama zakho ezindala kunye ne-zit enkulu empumlweni yakho, ukhupha umsesane wakho womtshato kwiqabane lakho, kwaye uthi, "Hah, unamathele kum!" Enoba uyintoni na, ukubaluleka komtshato kunokujongwa kwisibakala sokuba unokwandisa ubomi bakho ngokoqobo.

6. Abantwana bayazuza kwimitshato esempilweni

Ngelixa umtshato awuseyomfuneko yokuba ube okanye ukhulise abantwana kwaye sikhuphe iminqwazi yethu komama nootata abangatshatanga kuyo yonke indawo, esempilweni, umtshato owonwabileyo phakathi kwabazali ngokuqinisekileyo banokunika abantwana imvakalelo yokhuseleko ngakumbi. UGeetarsh ucacisa athi: “Akuyomfuneko ukuba utshate okanye uhlale utshatile ukuze ube nabantwana okanye ubakhulise kakuhle, “kodwa, ihlabathi lethu lisakhiwe ngendlela yokuba abantwana abasuka kumakhaya apho abazali bonwabileyo nabakunye batyekele ekukhuleni benesimo sengqondo esiphilileyo ngobomi nothando.”

Studies zibonisa ukuba oomama abagcina abantwana baphulukana ne-25-50% yengeniso yabo yaphambi koqhawulo-mtshato, nto leyo ethetha ukuba abantwana banokuchaphazeleka kukungazinzi kwezoqoqosho. Kwimeko yoqhawulo-mtshato, umntwana usenokuphulukana nexesha nomnye umzali kunye nootatomkhulu nootatomkhulu, ngaloo ndlela ephulukene nemibhiyozo edibeneyo, iiholide zesithethe, njalo njalo.

Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba siyaqhubeka sondla iipatheni zenkcubeko eziyityhefu kwisambatho sokuvakalisa ukubaluleka komtshato. Khumbula, abantwana bazuza lukhulu kuphela kwimitshato elungileyo eyakhiwe kuthando, intlonipho nobubele. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uqhubele phambili nonxunguphalo lwesizukulwana lokuhlala kumtshato ongonwabanga ngenxa yokuba uxelelwe ukuba “ikhaya elaphukileyo” linokubatshabalalisa abantwana bakho.

7 Umtshato ophumelelayo uzisa imbopheleleko

Kutheni umtshato ubalulekile? Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo kuyakukhuthaza ukuba ukhule kwaye wenze njengomntu omdala onenkathalo. Ubotshelelwe ngothando nangokusemthethweni komnye umntu ubomi bakho bonke. Nangona loo ngcinga isenokuba yoyikeka, ithetha ukuba kufuneka uzibumbe ube ngumntu olufanelekele olo thando nolu xanduva.

Oku kunokuba lelinye lamancedo omtshato ngenene – yinkqubo yokufunda ebaluleke kangaka. Mhlawumbi yiloo nto injongo yomtshato. Imvakalelo yokuba nembopheleleko kwiqabane likabani inokuthetha izinto ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, ezinje:

• Ukugcina isibhambathiso ‘sokulungileyo nokubi; ekuguleni nasekuphileni’
• Ukwenza izicwangciso zexesha elide ngokubonisana neqabane lakho
• Ukufakela iqabane lakho kuzo zonke izigqibo zobomi, kungakhathaliseki ukuba zikhulu okanye zincinci kangakanani
• Ukukhathalela iimfuno zomnye nomnye – ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwesondo, kwizinto zolungiselelo, zemali
• Ukuhlala unyanisekile kwisithembiso sokuthembeka nokuba sikhulu kangakanani isihendo
• Ukubaleka ikhaya njengeqela
• Ukulawula imali
• Ukucwangcisela abantwana
• Ukuzibekela ixesha kunye nokuba uphila ubomi obunjani

Ethetha ngale mvakalelo yokuba nembopheleleko ehambisana nomtshato, uAustin, oligqwetha kwinkampani yamagqwetha eOhio, uthi: “Ndandithandana nomyeni wam ngoku kangangeminyaka emi-3 ngaphambi kokuba sitshate.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ingcebiso ngomtshato: Iinjongo ezili-15 ekufanele zisonjululwe, utshilo uMnyangi

8 Umtshato uzisa imvisiswano yokomoya

Ukuba ungumntu okholelwa kwindalo yokomoya, ukuba indalo iphela iqhutywa ngamandla amakhulu kwaye anomoya, nokuba yeyiphi na imilo enokuthi ithathe engqondweni yakho, umtshato uba yindlela yokufumana imvisiswano enkulu yokomoya, nokuba kukuwelding i-subconscious yakho komnye umntu okanye izithethe zenkolo nezenkcubeko ezibhiyozela ukuhlangana kwakho njengesibini esitshatileyo.

“Andingomlandeli othile wenkolo elungelelanisiweyo kodwa usapho lwam lwalufuna umsitho wenkolo xa ndithatha isigqibo sokutshata.Ndandingaqinisekanga ngaloo nto kodwa ndijonge ngasemva, kwabakho imvakalelo yoxolo engaqhelekanga yokuhambahamba epasejini, sicengceleza izibhambathiso zamandulo, ndisazi ukuba sasizibophelela kubomi kunye phambi kothando lwehlabathi lonke. uqhagamshelwano lomoya neqabane lam,” utsho uAllie.

Ayisiyomibhiyozo kuphela, nangona kunjalo. Umtshato ngokwawo ngokufuthi unokuba yimvo enzulu yoxolo lwangaphakathi ekwazini ukuba intliziyo nomphefumlo wenu zigcinana. Lukholo olunengcambu ukuba nahlanganiswa ukuze nityebise ubomi bomnye nomnye ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo. Ngoko xa sizibuza ukuba kutheni umtshato ubalulekile, amava okomoya ayinxalenye enkulu yawo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: INtsebenziswano yasekhaya: Iindlela ezi-4 eziyahluke ngazo kuMtshato kunye neZihlomelo ezi-6 ezizinikezelayo

9. Umtshato uzisa isiqalo esitsha

“Xa mna neqabane lam sasitshata, kwabakho ukumbombozela okumnyama malunga nendlela esisiphelo sayo yonke into. Abantu abaninzi, nangona babeqhula, babethetha ngendlela ulonwabo nolonwabo oluye lwaphela yaye yayilixesha lokuba sizimisele, kwakukho abanye ababezibuza ukuba kutheni sizihlupha ngokutshata ngoxa sasisele sihlala kunye kuba yayiyinto enye,” utsho uMallory.

KuMallory kunye neqabane lakhe, nangona kunjalo, yonke into yayintsha emva komtshato. “Asikokuba ngoku sasisazi ukuba sibopheleleke ngaphezu kweemvakalelo zethu omnye komnye, kodwa konke oku kusemthethweni nokusemthethweni.

Umtshato sisiqalo sesahluko esitsha ebomini bakho, nokuba nazana ngonaphakade kwaye sele ninendawo yokuhlala. Kodwa kunokuba uyibone njengesiphelo sexesha, inokuba sisiqalo senqanaba elitsha kubudlelwane bakho, ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ngamalungu ayo angcono.

10. Ngomtshato kuza nenkunzi yentlalontle

Kutheni umtshato ubalulekile? Kaloku, siphila kwihlabathi elinemigaqo nemigaqo yasekuhlaleni eyakhiwe ngocoselelo, uninzi lwayo esisenokungavumelani nayo. Akunakuphikiswa, nangona kunjalo, ukuba ukudlala ngale mithetho, ubuncinci kumphezulu, kwenza ubomi bube lula kakhulu.

Ngaba umtshato ubalulekile eluntwini? Ewe ngokunjalo! Xa utshatile, emehlweni oluntu, ngokuzenzekelayo ungumntu ozinzileyo, ozinzileyo, onengqondo, nokuba ngamanye amaxesha uyazibuza, ngaba umtshato unemiqathango? Uhlobo lomntu okufumanisa kulula ukurenta okanye ukuthenga ikhaya, ukunikela kuluntu, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo okwaziyo oko kulindeleke kubo. Akukho nanye kwezi zinto zilungileyo, kodwa ekubeni sithetha ngokubaluleka komtshato, kulungile ukujonga izibonelelo zentlalo, ezifana:

• Ungayifumana i-inshurensi yezempilo ngokuqeshwa kweqabane lakho nokuba awusebenzi
• Ukuba uhlala kwindawo apho abantu abaninzi batshatileyo, wamkeleka lula ekuhlaleni
• Awusekho phantsi kokuphononongwa ekunokuthi kube yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bakho obungatshatanga
• Ukuphuculwa konxibelelwano lwentlalo

11.Umtshato uzisa imvakalelo yokusondelelana ngakumbi

Kusoloko kukho ukumbombozela okuba umtshato ulahlekelwa ukubaluleka kwawo. Esona sizathu siphambili kukuba abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba uthando kunye nokusondelelana kulahleka kubomi bomtshato bemihla ngemihla. Kodwa ubuhlobo bunokwanda kwaye bukhule xa utshatile.

UMelissa uthi: “Enyanisweni, iintlobano zesini zahlukile kwindlela ezaziyiyo xa sasithandana, kodwa kukho imfudumalo yothando olukhululekileyo, ukuzonwabisa okusondeleleneyo ngokufunda nje kunye, ukusondelana ngokwasengqondweni yokumisela kunye nokusebenza kwiinjongo ekwabelwana ngazo. Umtshato usifundise ukuba ukusondelelana asikokwabelana ngesondo nje kuphela, kukho iindlela ezisisigidi ezahlukeneyo zokuba neentlobano zesini yaye umtshato olungileyo sisithuba esihle sokuvumela oku.”

Ke, mhlawumbi awuphambana ekhitshini yonke imihla. Okanye mhlawumbi ukhona! Kodwa unobudlelwane obusondeleyo bokwazi ukuba lo ngumntu wakho kwaye ufumana ukuchukumisa imizimba yabo kunye nengqondo yabo ngazo zonke iintlobo zeendlela ezintsha kwaye ufunde ukusondelana okutsha yonke imihla. Loo mvakalelo yokuba ngowabanye inokuba yonwabise ngakumbi kunolwalamano nje olusenyameni okanye lwesini kulwalamano.

12 Umtshato uzisa ulonwabo ngokubanzi

Njengoko a isifundo, izibini ezitshatileyo zilinganise ukwaneliseka kwazo ebomini nge-9.9% ngaphezu kwabahlolo nabahlolokazi kwaye bonwabe nge-8.8% kunabantu abaqhawule umtshato okanye abahlukene. Ngamanye amazwi, xa uneqabane elibekek’ ityala ngayo yonke into, wonwaba ngakumbi! Mhlawumbi yiloo nto amadoda nabafazi bephila ixesha elide xa betshatile.

Ngoku, ngokuqinisekileyo, umtshato uzisa ingxabano yawo kwaye kuya kubakho ukulwa kunye neengxabano njalo njalo. Kodwa ngokubanzi, umtshato olungileyo, osempilweni uzisa idosi elungileyo, esempilweni yolonwabo ebomini. Kukho into malunga nokwabelana ngebhedi kunye nolawulo olukude kunye neqela labantwana ukuba bangxole kunye ngelixa nawe unxunguphele ngokudibeneyo ngenxa yabo. Xa ufumanisa ukuba umntu omnye onokwabelana naye ngayo yonke into encinci yobomi bakho, uya kuba nokonwaba ngakumbi kwaye waneliseke ngakumbi kwaye ukhuseleke ekuhambeni kwexesha.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 23 Izinto ezincinci ukwenza umtshato wakho womelele yonke imihla

13. Umtshato uzisa ithemba lokuba ukholo lwakho luya kuvuzwa

Umtshato ngumtsi omkhulu, omkhulu wokholo. Kule mihla, ngokukodwa, abantu abaninzi bayathandabuza ukubaluleka komtshato, ubudlelwane budla ngokuba yi-fickle, kunye nethemba lokufumana "iqabane eligqibeleleyo" kwi-swayipu elandelayo yenza abantu babambe ukuzibophelela, linyathelo elikhulu lokuthatha, engazi ukuba liya kusebenza okanye hayi.

Kuninzi ukuphulukana nothando, kwaye izinto ziba mbi esidlangalaleni xa umtshato ungaphumeleli. Amagama amakhulu, awoyikisayo anje iingcebiso zoqhawulo-mtshato kwaye ugcino lujikeleze kwaye phambi kokuba uyazi, awuqinisekanga ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukuthatha eli nyathelo. Kodwa wenza, kunjalo.

Yiyo loo nto sicinga ukuba umtshato luphawu olukhulu lwethemba. Ndiyathemba ukuba izinto ziya kulunga kwaye wena neqabane lakho niya kubugcina ubomi benu ngabanye ngelixa nisakha ikamva kunye. Ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na ezayo, niya kujongana nayo kunye. Kwaye yintoni enokuba lukhuselo olungcono lweziko kunoko?

Umtshato wenyuka ubukhulu becala njengobudlelwane bentengiselwano kwaye emva koko uguquke waba ngowona mnqweno uphezulu wobudlelwane bothando. Ngabo bonke abantu abagxekayo kunye nabagxeki abaqinisekileyo ukuba umtshato uyinto yakudala, uyaqhubeka nokuma, nangona unomdla. iingxaki zomtshato.

Eli nqaku lihlaziywe ngoJanuwari 2023.

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