Kuthetha ukuthini ukucela ukutya okungeyondlwanga: Intsingiselo, imizekelo, isayikholoji, kunye nendlela yokuphendula

Ukucenga okungathanga ngqo lunxibelelwano olungathanga ngqo olusetyenziselwa ukufumana inkxaso, imali, ukuqinisekiswa, ixesha, okanye umgudu ngaphandle kokucela ngokuthe ngqo. Ludla ngokubandakanya amacebo okanye ukuziva unetyala, izikhalazo ezingacacanga, okanye izimvo ezifana nezomntu ozinikeleyo ezinyanzela omnye umntu ukuba aqikelele isidingo endaweni yokuva isicelo esicacileyo. 

Ngokwenyani, ngumbuzo ofihliweyo njengesikhalazo. Eli binzana labonakala ngakumbi kwiincoko zeendaba zoluntu, kodwa iingcali zonyango zichaza indlela eqhelekileyo: umntu ufuna into ethile, uzive esengozini okanye eneentloni ngokubuza, aze aguqule isicelo sibe yinto engaphantsi komxholo. 

Iimpawu Zokucenga Okungekho Mgangathweni

Awuyi kuyibona le ndlela yokuziphatha kwisivakalisi esinye. Ibonakala njengephethini ngokuhamba kwexesha. Umntu akasoloko ecela into ayidingayo ngendlela ecacileyo, kodwa ulindele impendulo. Ithoni yeemvakalelo yenza uninzi lomsebenzi, ngelixa isicelo sokwenyani sihlala sifihliwe. Wakuba uqale ukuyibona, iphethini iba lula ukuyibona kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.

• Ukulahla iingcebiso endaweni yokubuza 
• usebenzisa ityala-ukukhubekauvelwano, okanye ithoni yeemvakalelo ezikutsalela esenzweni 
• Ukukhalaza ngaphandle kokwenza isicelo esicacileyo
• Ukulindela ukuba abanye abantu “baqonde nje” okanye bafunde igumbi 
• Ukucaphuka, ukubanda, okanye ukucaphuka xa imfuneko ingafezekiswa 
• Ukushiya indawo yokukhanyela isicelo kamva ngokuthi, “Andikaze ndicele nto” 
• Ukuphinda le ndlela endaweni yokufunda ukubuza ngokucacileyo kwixesha elizayo 

“Umakhulu wam uyakwenza oko. Ukhalaza ngelithi akukho mntu umkhathaleleyo ngokwaneleyo ukuba amenzele u-x, okanye ukuba uswele kwaye udinga into ethile kwaye ngokucacileyo ulindele ukuba umntu amncede. Njengokuba umntu ekhankanya isidlo sasemini ngaphandle, impendulo yakhe ekhawulezileyo ithi “oh andinakukwazi ukuyihlawula, kuya kufuneka uhambe ngaphandle kwam” (isoloko ithetha ngelizwi elibuhlungu) kuba uyazi ukuba umntu uya kuzinikela ukuba amhlawulele.”

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Izizathu Zokucela Kwi-Dry Begging

Ukuba ufuna ukuqonda ingqondo engenanto yokucela uncedo, kufuneka ujonge ngaphaya kwesivakalisi ngokwaso uze ujonge umxholo obanzi. Ngokwesiqhelo, umntu uzama ukuzikhusela kwinto ebuhlungu okanye ukufumana into ebalulekileyo ngokweemvakalelo. 

• Ngamanye amaxesha bayayiphepha ihlazo
• Ngamanye amaxesha bafuna ubungqina bokuba babalulekile
• Ngamanye amaxesha bafunda olu hlobo kwangethuba kangangokuba luvakala luqhelekile 

1. Ukoyika ukwaliwa

Esi sesinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo. Xa ubuza ngokuthe ngqo, usengozini yokuva “hayi.” Xa ubonisa nje ukuba akukho mntu uncedayo, ungazixelela ukuba, “Ewe, andikaze ndibuze.” Oko kwenza ukudana kube lula, ubuncinane ngelo xesha. 

Ingozi yokubuza kukuba sesichengeni, ingakumbi kubantu ababaluleke kakhulu. Kwakhona, abanye abantu bacinga ukuba abantu ababathandayo bafanele bafunde iingqondo zabo, nto leyo esusa isidingo sokucela ngokukhululekileyo kodwa endaweni yoko idala uxinzelelo kubudlelwane. 

2. Imfuneko Yokuqinisekiswa

Ukucenga nje okomileyo akuthethi ukuba umntu ufuna uncedo. Ngamanye amaxesha ufuna into enzulu nangakumbi; ubungqina bokuba: 

• Uyababona
• Uyakhathala malunga nabo
• Kwaye uya kuhamba aye kubo ngaphandle kokucelwa 

Yiyo loo nto ukucela okomileyo kunokuvakala ngathi kunamandla kangaka. Umyalezo othethwayo uvakala umncinci, kodwa intsingiselo yeemvakalelo engaphantsi kwawo idla ngokuba nkulu. 

• Isicelo sokukhwela singaba sisicelo sokhathalelo
• Isikhalazo malunga nezitya sisenokuba sisicelo sokuziva uxhaswa

Oko akwenzi ukuba isitayile esingathanga ngqo sisebenze, kodwa kusenza siqondakale 

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iimpawu ezingama-23 Zokungakhubazeki Kweemvakalelo Kubudlelwane

3. Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezingalunganga

Abanye abantu bayacela kuba bengazange bafunde ukunxibelelana ngokuzithemba. Abazange bafundiswe indlela yokwenza oku kulandelayo: 

• Chonga oko bakuvayo
• Chaza into abayidingayo
• Kwaye ucele ngendlela ebahloniphayo bobabini abantu

Kunoko, bafunde ukungabi namdla, ukungangqalanga, okanye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo . Xa abantu bengazivezi ngokukhululekileyo, banokuba nexhala, babe nomsindo, okanye babe nenzondo, kwaye ubudlelwane buyaphazamiseka kuba abanye bashiywa ukuba bafunde iingqondo.

Abantu abaninzi bafunda oku emakhaya. Oku kubonakala kwiintsapho apho abantwana babexelelwa into amabayenze kodwa bengaboniswanga indlela yokucela izinto ngokucacileyo. Bakhulela phakathi kwabantu abadala ababethetha ngokungangqalanga baze bacaphuke xa kungekho mntu unika uncedo ngomlingo. Loo ndawo iqeqesha abantu ukuba baphathe umxholo njengento enyanzelekileyo. 

4. Ukulungiswa kwenkcubeko

Kulapho ke kungena khona uluvo oluthile. Asikuko konke ukunxibelelana ngokungathanga ngqo okungafanelekanga. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukungathethi ngqo kumalunga noku: 

• Imbeko
• Harmony
• Ubuso obugcinayo
• Okanye ukunciphisa ingxabano

Iindlela zonxibelelwano olungathanga ngqo zixhaphakile kwiinkcubeko ezikumgangatho ophezulu, apho intsingiselo idla ngokuthwalwa yile:

• ilizwi
• Ukuthula
• Umxholo owabelwana ngawo
• Nentsingiselo endaweni yamazwi acacileyo

Kwezo meko, ukuthomalalisa isicelo akuthethi ukuba ufuna ukukhohlisa. Kusenokuba yintlonelo. Oko kuthetha ukuba akufanele ubize wonke umntu ongathanga ngqo njengomkhohlisi. Umbuzo wokwenyani awungowokuba “Ngaba umyalezo wawungabonakali?” Umbuzo wokwenyani ngulo uthi “Ngaba omnye umntu wanyanzelwa ukuba azive enetyala, edidekile, okanye enetyala elifihlakeleyo?” Ukungangqalanga ngokwenkcubeko kunye nokunyanzelwa ngokweemvakalelo azifani, nokuba zinokubonakala zifana xa zikhankanywa phezulu. 

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iimpazamo ezi-5 eziqhelekileyo ezenziwa ngabantu abatshatayo emtshatweni

Ngaba Ukucenga Okunganyanzelekanga Kunokulawula?

Impendulo ixhomekeke kumxholo. Kukukhohlisa xa umntu ezama ngabom ukusebenzisa ukuziva enetyala, inceba, okanye uxinzelelo ukuze afumane into ayifunayo. Nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu bayacela kuba: 

• Ukoyika ukwaliwa
• Ndizive ndingafaneleki ukubuza
• Okanye bavela kwiindawo apho izicelo ezithe ngqo zibonakala zikrwada

Indlela esebenzayo yokugweba le ngxaki kukubuza imibuzo emithathu. 

• Ingaba le yingxelo ekhutshwa kube kanye okanye yindlela ephindaphindwayo? 
• Ngaba loo mntu uyacaphuka xa “ungakuqondi”? 
• Kwaye ingaba isitayile sibashiya bengenakuphikwa xa bekushiya uxinezelekile? 

Ukuba impendulo nguewe, mhlawumbi ujongene nokungaphezulu nje kokunxibelelana okungaqhelekanga. 

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iindlela ezili-11 zokuphucula unxibelelwano kubudlelwane

Indlela Ukucenga Okungavuthiyo Okuyichaphazela Ngayo Ubudlelwane

Ukucenga okungacacanga kubudlelwane kudla ngokuqala kancinci. Isikhalazo esingacacanga apha, ukuncwina okukhulu apho, izimvo ezimbalwa xa umntu efuna uncedo. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha le ndlela itshintsha imeko yeemvakalelo yobudlelwane. Nantsi indlela echaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane:

1. Kudala ukudideka

Xa iingcebiso zithatha indawo yezicelo, unyanzelekile ukuba uqikelele. Ngaba zinjalo? 

• Ukukhuphela
• Ukubuza
• Testing
• Okanye ukutyhola? 

Oku kungaqiniseki kuyacothisa ukusombulula iingxaki kwaye kuguqula iincoko eziqhelekileyo zibe yimidlalo yengqondo.

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iimvavanyo ezili-15 zoNxibelelwano lweZiqabane eziCetyiswa ziingcali

2. Yakha inzondo

Unxibelelwano olungenamsebenzi nolungenabundlobongela ludla ngokubangela ingqumbo kumacala omabini. 

• Umphulaphuli uyacaphuka xa etyhalwa okanye enetyala
• Isithethi siyacaphuka xa singabonwa okanye singancedwa 

Ukuziphatha ngokungakhathaliyo kunokukhokelela kumsindo ovuthayo kunye neemvakalelo zokuba xhatshazwa, ngelixa ukuziphatha ngokungakhathaliyo kubonakalisa ubudlelwane kwaye kunciphisa intlonipho. 

3. Yehlisa ukuthembana

Ukuthembana kuxhomekeke ekunyanisekeni malunga: 

• Into oyivayo
• Ingaba ufuna ntoni
• Kwaye yintoni onokunika

Ukubuza ngokungathanga ngqo izinto ezingathandekiyo kuzo zontathu. Ukuba umntu omnye usebenzisa rhoqo i-hidden asks, omnye umntu usenokuqala ukuzibuza ukuba ingaba izimvo ziyinyani okanye ziyinyani na. 

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iimpawu ezili-13 zeMiba yokuThemba kunye nendlela yokuzoyisa

4. Yenza buthathaka unxibelelwano

Okukhona isibini, usapho, okanye ubuhlobo buhamba ngendlela engaphantsi kwesiqhelo, kokukhona abantu bengayi kukwazi ukuncokola ngqo. Oko kubalulekile kuba izakhono zonxibelelwano ziyaqeqeshwa, kwaye unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo lunxulumene nokusebenza ngcono kobudlelwane.

5. Amagqabi afuna ukungcwaliswa 

Umntu ocelayo akafumani mpendulo ichanekileyo kumbuzo wokwenyani. 

• Ukuba bebefuna ukuqinisekiswa, kodwa befumana uncedo olungathandekiyo, basenokwenza njalo andiziva ndithandwa 
• Ukuba bebefuna uthando, kodwa bethobela imithetho, basenokuthi basaziva bengabonwa 
• Ukubuza ngokungathanga ngqo kunokuvelisa isenzo ngelixa kungaphumeleli ukuvelisa ukucaca ngokweemvakalelo 

Yiyo loo nto le ndlela iqhubeka iphindaphinda. 

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Imibuzo eli-15 Onokuyibuza Ukwakha Ukuthembana Kubudlelwane

Indlela Yokuphendula Xa Ucela Izinto Ezingafunekiyo

Masiqale siqonde ukuba ayisiyongxaki yam xa ithelekiswa nawe kwiimeko ezininzi. Nguwe nobabini omelene nengxaki. Injongo asikokuhlazisa omnye umntu okanye ukuba nomsindo. Injongo kukutshintsha incoko isuke ekuqageleni iye ekucaceni. Oko kukhusela imida yenu kunye nolwalamano lwenu. 

1. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakwenza oko

Ngaba udiniwe kukuba iqabane lakho lisoloko licela kwaye lilindele ukuba ufunde oko likucingayo? Emva koko, xa ungakwazi, bayacaphuka baze balwe? Kulungile. Kufuneka ukuba kuyadinisa ukuqikelela rhoqo into abayifunayo kuwe. Nantsi into onokuyenza:

1 Buza ngqo 

“Ufuna ntoni kum?” okanye “Ucela uncedo, okanye ufuna ndikuphulaphule?” Le yenye yeempendulo ezilungileyo kuba ayimvuzi loo ngcebiso, kodwa ayimjezisi umntu onengxaki yokucela. Ibeka nje uxanduva lwesicelo endaweni yaso. 

Ukufunda Okunxulumeneyo: Iingcali Zidwelisa Imisebenzi Eli-35 Yokwakha Ukuthembana Kubudlelwane

2. Musa ukucinga ukuba

Iqabane lakho lisenokuba:

• Ukucela uncedo
• Ukukhuphela
• Okanye ukuloba ukuze uqiniseke

Ukuba ungena ngqo ekulungiseni, ungaqinisa indlela esebenza ngayo ipatheni okanye usombulule ingxaki engalunganga. Inkxaso ayithethi ngaso sonke ixesha ukusombulula iingxaki.

3. Zibekele imida 

Ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala libonakalisa ukuziphatha okungathandekiyo nokungakhathaliyo , nawe kufuneka ukhusele uxolo lwakho. Ungathi:

• “Ndivulelekile ukuva into oyifunayo, kodwa ndifuna ukuba undibuze ngqo” 
• Okanye “Ndingaphulaphula imizuzu elishumi, kodwa andinakukwazi ukukuthatha oku” 

Imida ecacileyo ikukhusela ekubeni ngumhlanguli ozenzekelayo. Ikwanyanzela unxibelelwano ukuba lube nesimo esinyanisekileyo. 

4. Yahlula uvelwano kwimbopheleleko

Ewe, kufuneka ube nolwazelelelo nobubele kwiqabane lakho kwaye uzame ukuqonda apho livela khona. Kwangaxeshanye, ukuthobela nje isicelo sabo esifihlakeleyo ngalo lonke ixesha kuya kwenza ukuba baziphatha ngendlela efanelekileyo. Impendulo eluncedo yile, “Oko kuvakala kuxinezelekile. Unethemba lokuba ndingenza ntoni?” Eso sivakalisi sinika ubushushu ngaphandle kokuzinikela emsebenzini wakho, imali, okanye kwi-bandwidth yeemvakalelo ngaphambi kokuba ukhethe ukwenza njalo. 

Ukuba uyakwenza

Ngoku, masijonge kwelinye icala. Ngaba wena qabane ungumntu othanda ubundlobongela kwaye ubangela iingxabano kulwalamano ? Kulungile. Inyaniso yokuba uyazi kwaye ufuna ukusebenzela kuyo ithetha lukhulu. Nantsi into omele uyenze:

1. Qala ngokuqonda 

Qaphela umzuzu ofuna umntu agqibezele ngawo imfuno yakho. Yima kancinci uze uzibize ngegama kuqala. Ngaba yile: 

• Nceda
• imali
• Uthando
• Uqinisekiso
• Ukuphumla
• Dumisani
• Okanye imvume? 

Okukhona ucacile ngaphakathi, kokukhona ucaca ngakumbi. 

2. Tshintshela kwimo yesikhalazo uye kwimo yesicelo

Le icacile. Iqabane lakho linokukwenza oko ukucelileyo ukuba ubuza kakuhle kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo. 

• Endaweni yokuthi “Nditshona apha,” yithi, “Ungandinceda lo msebenzi mnye?” 
• Endaweni yokuthi “Akukho mntu undincedayo,” yithi, “Ndifuna uncedo ngesidlo sangokuhlwa ngokuhlwanje” 
• Endaweni yokuthi “Kufuneka kube kuhle ukufumana iintyatyambo,” yithi, “Ndiyakukhumbula izijekulo zothando kwaye ndingathanda oko kuwe ngamanye amaxesha” 

3. Sebenzisa amagama athi “Ndi” nanini na xa kunokwenzeka 

Iingcali zidla ngokucebisa amazwi athi “Ndim” kuba agxila kumava akho endaweni yokugxeka iqabane lakho. “Ndiziva ndixinezelekile kwaye ndifuna uncedo ngezitya ngokuhlwanje” angcono kakhulu kunokuba athi “Awusoze uncede.” 

4. Ziqhelise kwiimeko eziphantsi 

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ucele uncedo kuphela xa izinto zingalawuleki kwaye uxakeke yimisebenzi yasekhaya. Yithi “Ungandinceda ngale nto?” ngamaxesha alula emihla ngemihla. Umzekelo:

• Cela uncedo xa uzisa ukutya
• Cela ukugonwa xa ubunosuku olunzima
• Cela umhla xa uziva ngathi kukho ukungavisisani phakathi kwakho

Ukuzithemba sisakhono, asilophawu lobuntu onalo okanye ongenalo. Okukhona uziqhelisa ukubuza ngokucacileyo xa iingxaki ziphantsi, kokukhona kuba lula xa iingxaki ziphezulu. 

5. Sebenza kwisakhono sakho sokuva u-“hayi” 

Le yeyona ibalulekileyo neyona inzima. Ukuba ufumana kunzima ukwenza isicelo esithe ngqo, zibuze ukuba ucinga ukuba ukwala kuya kuthetha ntoni ngawe. Abantu abanomdla kakhulu wokungakwamkeli bayasokola ukujongana nokungakwamkeli , bekubona njengobungqina bokuba abafunwa okanye ababalulekanga. Kodwa uninzi lokungakwamkeli malunga noku:

• isikhundla
• Isikhathi
• Okanye ukhetho
• Ayiloxabiso lakho 

6. Yakha nokuqonda ngokweemvakalelo 

Gcina umkhondo wokuba iingcebiso zakho zibonakala nini; xa: 

• Ukukhathala
• Lona
• Unomona
• Okanye uzive ungabonwa

Umsebenzi wokwenene usenokuba mkhulu kakhulu malunga nokuthetha amagama kodwa ungowokufunda ukuqonda iintloni, umsindo, kunye nokungazithembi ngaphambi kokuba kube luxinzelelo olungangqalanga. Ukuba lo mkhwa unzulu, unyango lunokunceda. 

FAQs 

Iingcinga Final

Ukucenga okunganyanzelekanga akubhekiselele kakhulu ekulawuleni izinto kodwa kuxhomekeke kakhulu kumsantsa kunxibelelwano odla ngokubangelwa kukoyika ukwaliwa, ukungakhululeki ngokucela, okanye ukuziphatha okufundiweyo. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kulungile, impembelelo yayo isenokubangela uxinezeleko kubudlelwane ngokudala ukudideka, uxinzelelo, kunye nolindelo olungafezekiswanga. Nokuba uyayibona le ndlela kuwe okanye kwabanye, ukubeka phambili unxibelelwano oluthe ngqo nolunentlonipho kwakha ukuthembana, kunciphisa ukuqikelela ngokweemvakalelo, kwaye kukhokelela kunxibelelwano olusempilweni nolulungeleleneyo.

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Igalelo lakho alilomnikelo wesisa . Liza kuvumela iBonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha noluhlaziyiweyo ekuzameni kwethu ukunceda nabani na emhlabeni ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.