Iingxoxo kubudlelwane-Iintlobo, amaxesha amaninzi, kunye nendlela yokusingatha

Athi ungaze ulale uphambene. Ngoko ke, mna neqabane lam sihlala phezulu ebhedini yaye sixambulisana. Ngamanye amaxesha ngokukhawuleza. Ngamanye amaxesha ngokuzolileyo. Kuxhomekeke ekubeni kusebusuku kangakanani kwaye sixhonywe kangakanani na. Iingxabano kubudlelwane azibonisi ukuba usemanzini anenkathazo. Kuthetha nje ukuba abantu ababini banqanda umlo omkhulu ukuba ungenzeki ngokusombulula imincinane. Sinazo zonke iintlobo zokulwa, ukusukela kwimilo ethi 'yintoni isidlo sangokuhlwa' ukuya kuthi 'ngubani oza kuhlamba izitya' ukuya kuthi ga kwimilo ethi 'iteknoloji eninzi iphazamisana nexesha lethu elisemgangathweni' imilo.

Iqabane lam lakha landigculela emva kwengxabano lisithi kungcono ndilale kunokuba ndilwe. Ndiyavuma, kufuneka ndivumele ingxabano ukuba iphefumle kude kube lusuku olulandelayo maxa wambi ngaphambi kokuba nditsibe ukuyicombulula. Kodwa kuhle ukuxambulisana niyiyeke yonke le nto (nanini na nikulungele nobabini) kuba xa niyekile ukuxambulisana kubudlelwane kuthetha ukuba niyekile ukukhathala. UJoseph Grenny, umbhali-mbhali weNew York Times ethengisa kakhulu Iincoko Ezibalulekileyo, ubhala athi izibini ezixambulisanayo zihlala kunye. Ingxaki iqala xa uqala ukuphepha ezo ngxabano.  

Silapha ukukunceda uqonde ukuba kutheni iingxoxo zibalulekile kubudlelwane, ngokubonisana nomcebisi Nishmin Marshall, okhethekileyo ekunikeleni isiluleko kwimitshato engenaluthando, kwimitshato exhaphazayo, ukukruquka, imilo neengxaki zesini. Uthi: “Ukuxambulisana yenye indlela ecaphukisayo yokuchaza ingongoma yakho.

Iintlobo Zezimbo zokuPhikisana

Ngaba izibini ziyalwa? Ewe. Amaxesha amaninzi kunokuba unokucinga. Iingxabano ezincinci kubudlelwane ziqhelekile ngokugqibeleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo abantu abaxambulisana ngazo kwaye akukho bantu babini baxambulisana ngendlela efanayo. Oku kusekwe kwisitayile sabo sokuncamathela, ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, kunye nempendulo yabo yokubhabha-okanye-umkhenkce. Kukho iintlobo ezi-4 ezahlukeneyo zesimbo sengxoxo kubudlelwane:

1. Isimbo sokuhlasela

Eqhutywa kukudana, ukucaphuka, nomsindo, esi simbo sokuxambulisana simalunga nokukhomba zonke izinto ezingalunganga ezenziwe lelinye iqabane. Le ngxabano yenzeka xa elinye iqabane lingazi indlela yokulawula umsindo ndikubudlelwane. Ingxabano inokujika ibe ndlongondlongo kwaye yonke le nto imalunga nokugxeka umntu omnye. Eminye yemizekelo yile: 

• “Uhlala ushiya itawuli imanzi phezu kwebhedi”
• “Awuwenzi umsebenzi wakho wasekhitshini”
• “Awusoze uyikhuphe inkunkuma”

2. Isimbo sokuzikhusela

Olu hlobo lwengxabano kubudlelwane lwenzeka xa umntu otyholwa ngento ethile esenza njengexhoba. Okanye basenokuqalisa ukuzithethelela ngokubonisa iintsilelo neentsilelo zomnye umntu. Umzekelo: 

• “Ngendikhuphe inkunkuma ukuba ubuzihlamba izitya namhlanje”
• “Ubusazi ukuba ndixakekile, kutheni ungandikhumbuzi nje ukuba ndikwenze oko, ngendikwenzile.
• “Awukwazi ukundigxeka kube kanye?”

3. Isimbo sokurhoxa 

Usenokuba ngumkhiphi okanye uzama ukutyhala ingxabano ukuze uveze ingongoma yakho. Ukuba ungumntu wokuqala, ngoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhangele iindlela zokuphepha ukuxambulisana. Ibonisa ukuba unobuntu obunqanda impixano kwaye uya kuzama ukugcina uxolo. Ukuba ungowokugqibela, ke uzimisele ukubeka inqaku lakho. 

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4. Isimbo esivulekileyo

Indlela yokuba neengxabano eziphilileyo kubudlelwane? Zama ukuba nengxoxo evulelekileyo. Le yenye yeendlela eziphilileyo zokuxoxisana neqabane. Uvulekile kwaye unolwazelelelo kuyo yonke imeko. Awulungiswanga kumbono wakho okanye uzame ukubonisa ukuba omnye umntu akalunganga. 

7 Izizathu eziphezulu zokuba kutheni izibini zilwa 

UNishmin uthi: “Ukuxambulisana kwezibini ezitshatileyo akuyongozi. Oko kuthethwayo, ayizizo zonke iingxabano kunye neengxabano kubudlelwane ezenziwe ngokulinganayo. Ezinye zinetyhefu ngakumbi kunezinye. Ukukunceda ukuba uhlukanise phakathi kwempilo kwabangenampilo, makhe sijonge kwiindidi, izizathu, kunye nezizathu zeengxabano zobudlelwane:

1. Ukulwa ngenxa yezemali

Izibini ezixambulisana ngemali asinto intsha. Olu lolunye lweentlobo zokulwa kubudlelwane obungenaxesha. Ukuba nihlala kunye kwaye nigqibe ekubeni nilawule imali kunye, loo milo ayinakuphepheka. Ukuba omabini amaqabane azimisele ukusombulula lo mba kwaye acwangcise uluhlu lohlahlo lwabiwo-mali ngaphandle kokwenza omnye azive kakubi ngokuba ngabasebenzisi-mali abangenankathalo, ngoko usendleleni efanelekileyo. 

2. Ukulwa ngento enye ngokuphindaphindiweyo

Ukuba uyaqhubeka ukulwa ngento enye kwakhona kwaye kwakhona, amathuba ukuba awuzami nokuba uqonde imbono yomnye umntu. Nobabini nimi ngelithi omnye wenu unyanisile, omnye akalunganga. Imilo enjalo ephindaphindiweyo kubudlelwane inokujika ibe yinto engapheliyo ukuba ayilungiswanga ngokufanelekileyo. Ukuba uzifumene uzibuza, ukuba kungakanani ukuxambulisana okuqhelekileyo kubudlelwane, amathuba okuba nibethane kancinci rhoqo, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba imiba yakho sele ijikile. 

3. Ukuxambulisana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya

Kutheni abantu abatshatileyo besilwa? Imisebenzi yasekhaya yeyona nto ibangela iingxabano kubudlelwane ixesha elininzi. Ngokuqinisekileyo esi sisihloko esivuthayo phakathi kwezibini. Ngenxa yokuba xa kukho ukungalingani kulwahlulo lwabasebenzi ekhaya, kunokukhokelela kwimilo emininzi kunye neengxabano ezimbi. Kungenxa yokuba elinye iqabane lizixakekise kakhulu, alikhathali, okanye liyonqena ukwenza isabelo salo somsebenzi. 

Ngoku ka uphando eqhutywa ngonxulumano phakathi komsebenzi wasekhaya nokwaneliseka ngokwesini, kwafunyaniswa ukuba xa amaqabane angamadoda enikela ingxelo ngokufak’ isandla ngokufanelekileyo kumsebenzi wasekhaya, isibini saba neentlobano zesini rhoqo. Ngokucacileyo, ukutshata akuqinisekisi uthando kunye nomnqweno.

4. Iingxabano ezinxulumene nosapho

Le yenye imilo isibini eqhelekileyo. Iingxabano zinokuba malunga nantoni na - iqabane lakho alithandi usapho lwakho okanye uziva ngathi iqabane lakho alikubekeli phambili njengoko libeka phambili usapho lwalo. Unxibelelwano lweentsapho lunzulu. Kungoko ezi mpikiswano azinakuphetshwa. Le yenye yeengxaki zobudlelwane obunokwenzeka kwaye kuya kufuneka uthethe omnye komnye kwaye nifumane indlela yokuyilungisa.

5. Iingxoxo ezibangelwa yimiba yokuthembana

Ukulwa rhoqo kubudlelwane ngenxa yokukrokrelana kunokonakalisa ngenene isiseko sothando lwakho. Ukuba ukukrokrelana, ukungabikho kokuthembana, okanye ukungcatshwa kuye kwangena kubudlelwane, unokuphelisa ukuxabana ngalo lonke ixesha. Kunokuba nzima ukubuyela kwindlela izinto ebeziyiyo kubudlelwane bakho. Ukuthembana, xa kwaphukile, kunzima kakhulu ukuphinda kwakhiwe. Kodwa yazi ukuba ngokuzinikela, ukunyaniseka, kunye nothando, akukho nto ingenakwenzeka. Xa ungayazi indlela yokujongana nokungathembani, kunokwenza iqabane lakho lirhoxe rhoqo ngokweemvakalelo.

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6. Izibini zilwa ngokukhetha indlela yokuphila 

Yintoni ebangela iingxabano kubudlelwane? Ukhetho lwendlela yokuphila. Ukuba umntu uyalithanda itheko aze omnye abe likhaya, loo milo inyanzelekile ukuba yenzeke. Iqabane elingenamdla nelingakuthandiyo ukuphuma lisenokuziva licinezelekile ukuba lenze izinto ezichasene nendalo yalo kunye neemfuno zalo. Oku kuya kubenza bazive kakubi ngabo. Iqabane eligqithisiweyo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, linokuziva ngathi alikwazi ukuphuma kunye neqabane labo njengoko bengathanda, kwaye oko kunokuba nzima ukuphatha nabo. Nobabini kufuneka niyekelele kwaye nifumane indawo ephakathi. 

7. Ukwahluka kwabazali

Le yenye yeengxaki zomtshato eziqhelekileyo ezijamelene nezibini ezingakwaziyo ukwahlulahlula imisebenzi yobuzali. Bakwahlulelene ngendlela yokukhulisa abantwana babo kwanendlela yokubanyamekela. Ukuba awuyilungisi le ngxaki ngokukhawuleza, ukuxabana kwakho rhoqo kunye nokungafani kwabazali kunokuchaphazela umntwana. Kusenokubangela ukungabi naluvelwano iimeko apho sicela abantwana bethu ukuba bathathe icala.

Kungakanani Ukuxambulisana Kwesiqhelo Kubudlelwane?

Ukwazi ukuba kungakanani ukulwa kubudlelwane, sifikelele kuyo Ridhi Golechha, (MA Psychology), oyingcali ekululekeni imitshato engenaluthando, ukuqhawuka, kunye neminye imiba yobudlelwane. Uthi: “Ukuba uyangxola ngamaxesha athile, ngoko akukho nto yakuzixhalabisa ngayo, yaye wonk’ ubani uye aphulukane nokuzola ngamaxesha athile.” Noko ke, ukuba nisoloko nisilwa, umele uxelele iqabane lakho ukuba oku akuluncedi.

“Ukuba awumxeleli iqabane lakho ukuba kukho into abayenzayo ekukhathazayo, soze bazi.Iqabane lakho alingomntu ofunda ingqondo ukwazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni entloko. ukungabikho kolwazi kuphela kubangela ukuba umsindo wakheke kumacala omabini. Oku kunokubangela ukulwa rhoqo kubudlelwane, nto leyo enokudinwa. Ungade ubuze ukuba kufanelekile ukukhupha amandla akho ngaphezulu. Kodwa ayisiyiyo na le nto imalunga nobudlelwane? Niyalwa, nicele uxolo, nixolelane, nincamisane. Hayi kuba uthanda ukulwa. Kuba ufuna ukuba nalo mntu nangona amaxesha anzima.

“Nangona kunjalo, oko akuthethi ukuba ningaqalisa ukuxambulisana naphi na nangaliphi na ixesha. Ukuxambulisana okucingisisiweyo kubaluleke kakhulu. Kufuneka ukhethe ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuvakalisa izinto ezikuxhalabisayo. Ukuba niyalwa kuphela, nixambulisana, nikhalaza, yaye niyagxekana, oko akunampilo, yaye kungekudala kuya kuchaphazela impilo yakho yengqondo.” Izibini eziphikisanayo zigxile kuphela kwimilo kunye nokuzama ukubonisa ukuba omnye umntu akalunganga, ngaphandle kokuqonda indlela yokuyeka ukuxabana rhoqo kubudlelwane, bavame ukuhlukana.

Nazi iiparamitha ezimbalwa ezinokukunceda uvavanye xa ungquzulwano lwakho lungene kwindawo engafanelekanga:

• Xa uqala ukungamhloniphi omnye umntu
• Xa uqala ukubathuka
• Xa ungalweli ubudlelwane kodwa ngokuchasene nobudlelwane 
• Xa unika i-ultimatums kwaye usongela ukubashiya 

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IiPros And Cons of Relationship Arguments 

Iingxabano kwangethuba kubudlelwane kuthetha ukuba nobabini anivani ngokwaneleyo kwaye niyasokola ukuziqhelanisa nesigaba sasemva komtshato. Kodwa ngaba kuqhelekile ukulwa yonke imihla kubudlelwane? Kaloku, oko kuxhomekeke kuhlobo lokulwa olwayo. Ingxabano inokuba lithuba lokufunda ngakumbi ngomnye umntu, ukuphilisa, nokukhula kunye. Uninzi lwabantu lucinga ukuba akunampilo xa izibini zisilwa. Kodwa loo nto yi-hogwash. Izisa ukunyaniseka ngakumbi kubudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambili, ayizizo zonke iingxabano ezenziwa ngokulinganayo kwaye ukulwa phakathi kwezibini zinesabelo sabo sezinto ezintle kunye nezingalunganga, ezibandakanya: 

Iipros zeengxabano phakathi kwabatshatileyo:

• Xa abantu abatshatileyo bexambulisana, bafunda ngeentsilelo zabo, iimbono ezingafaniyo nendlela abacinga ngayo. Ibasondeza ngokudala inqanaba elinzulu lokuqonda. Xa ufunda ukulawula nokwamkela loo mahluko, uya kudala ubudlelwane obunothando noxolo
• Iingxabano zinokwenza nomelele njengesibini. Xa ulungisa umlo ngokuthi “Ndiyakuthanda kwaye ndiyavuya kuba sithetha ngayo,” loo nto ibonisa ukuba uluxabisa ngakumbi ulwalamano lwenu ngaphezu kokungavisisani kwenu. 
• Xa u cela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo emva komlo, ifaka imvakalelo yokucoceka kunye nokulunga. Uziva ulungile ngawe kunye nobudlelwane bakho

neengozi Iingxabano phakathi kwabatshatileyo:

• Xa izibini ezixambulisanayo zibhenela ekugxekeni nasekubekeni ityala kwimidlalo, baphela besebenzisa amagama athi “Wena” anjengokuthi “Usoloko,” “Awukhe,” yaye “Wena kuphela”. Amabinzana anjalo enza omnye umntu azive enetyala kwaye ehlaselwe, kwaye athintele ukukhula
• Xa ungazisombululi ingxabano, uyandisa ingxabano. Ngenxa yoko, uziva unomsindo, ukrakra, kwaye unentiyo kumlingane wakho
• Ukulwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngento enye kunokukugxotha kwiqabane lakho. Baya kuqala ukukuphepha ukuze baphephe ingxabano 

Yenza kwaye ungayenzi ngelixa uxabana neqabane lakho 

Ngaba kuqhelekile ukulwa yonke imihla kubudlelwane? Ukuphendula umbuzo, a Umsebenzisi weReddit Uthi, "Kukangaphi na izibini zilwa kubudlelwane obunempilo kuxhomekeke kwindlela ochaza ngayo ukulwa nokuxambulisana kubudlelwane. Ngaba zonke izibini zingena kwimidlalo yokukrwempa? Mhlawumbi akunjalo. Ngaba zonke izibini ziba nokungavisisani ngamaxesha athile? Ewe. Kukho izibini ezixambulisana ngakumbi ngaphandle. Kwaye kukho izibini ezixambulisanayo ngendlela engaqhelekanga-kunye nokusombulula iingxaki kunye nokusombulula iingxaki. ngokukodwa, ngoko ke izicwangciso zokusombulula impixano nazo ziya kwahluka ngokwezibini.”

Izibini ezixabanayo kufuneka ziqonde ukuba kukho imigaqo embalwa yokuxabana kubudlelwane. Kukho izinto omele uzenze nongamele zenziwe xa ulungisa iingxabano. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokulwa kubudlelwane:

Ezimbini	Musa
Ngalo lonke ixesha mamela icala labo lebali	Musa ukuhlala ugxile kwizikhalazo; gcina indlela yakho ijolise kwisisombululo
Ngalo lonke ixesha sebenzisa izitatimenti zika-“Ndi” ukufumana ingongoma yakho	Izibini ezixambulisanayo akufuneki zisebenzise amagama abaxiweyo afana nelithi “rhoqo” nelithi “ungaze”
Hlalani nikhumbula ukuba nobabini nikwicala elinye. Anilwi kodwa nilwa kunye nengxaki	Sukwenza intelekelelo, ugxeke, okanye utsalele amalungu osapho kwiingxaki zakho
Phulaphula ngovelwano	Ungaze uwujongele phantsi umcimbi okanye wenze izinto ezixhalabisa iqabane lakho zingasebenzi
Yiba namaxesha okupholisa	Musa ukubetha ngaphantsi kwebhanti okanye ujolise ubuthathaka babo
Bonisa uthando lomzimba ukuba nilungile nobabini kuyo. Bachukumise naxa nixambulisana	Musa ukunika i-iltimatums okanye ugrogrise ngokushiya ubudlelwane
Zilungiselele iimpazamo zakho kwaye ucele uxolo	Xa ingxabano isonjululwe, musa ukuyiveza kwiingxoxo ezizayo

Kutheni iingxabano zisempilweni 

"Kutheni sixabana nje? Ngaba kunempilo ukulwa kubudlelwane?" Le mibuzo inokuba nzima engqondweni yakho emva kwengxabano nganye ne-SO yakho. URidhi uthi, “Nokuba ziziphi na izizathu zokuxambulisana, abantu abatshatileyo bayaxabana ngenxa yokuba bethandana yaye into eyenziwe ngomnye umntu okanye ayithethileyo iyamkhathaza omnye, awukwazi ukuyiyeka idlule kuba emva koko isuke ibekukuphepheka. indlela yoqhawulo-mtshato.

Ngaba kuqhelekile ukulwa yonke imihla emtshatweni?Ewe, ukuba injongo kukwenza njalo ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo. Hayi, ukuba yonke into ofuna ukuyenza kukukhuphela umsindo wakho kwaye ugxeke iqabane lakho. Ngoncedo lwezi ngxabano zincinci kubudlelwane, ufunda malunga nezinto ezibangela omnye komnye, ukwenzakala, kunye nokungazithembi. Ufumana ukwazi iinkqubo zexabiso zomnye ngcono. Iingxabano zikwayingxoxo phakathi kwabantu ababini abangaboni ngasonye kodwa bekwiqela elinye.”

Iindlela ezi-8 zokujongana neengxabano kubudlelwane

Injongo yayo nayiphi na ingxabano kukufumana ingxaki kunye nokuyinyanga. Xa abantu abatshatileyo bexambulisana rhoqo, badla ngokuyilibala indawo abasingise kuyo, kukufumana isisombululo. 'Kungakanani ukulwa kakhulu' iba ngumbuzo obalulekileyo xa konke okwenzayo kukuxambulisana nokuxambulisana, kwaye ungazi. indlela yokuyeka ukucaphuka ixesha elide emva kokuba ungquzulwano lusonjululwe. Ukuba injongo kukuphumelela xa nixambulisana neqabane lakho, loo nto ithetha ukuba woyisiwe. Nanga amanye amacebiso ngendlela yokusingatha imilo neqabane lakho ezinokunceda abantu abaxabanayo basombulule iingxabano ngobuchule ngakumbi:

1. Thatha uxanduva ngezenzo zakho 

Ukuba iqabane lakho lonzakele ngenxa yezenzo zakho, yamkele. Okukhona usenza ngathi ungcwele kwaye akukho nto unokuyenza engalunganga, kokukhona usengozini ngakumbi ubudlelwane bakho. Ulwaneliseko lobudlelwane alunakwenzeka xa omnye umntu ecinga ukuba uhlala elungile kwaye omnye umntu kufuneka asoloko egoba kwintando yakhe. Lifikile ixesha lokuba ucele uxolo ngeempazamo zakho. Ziphephe iingxabano kubudlelwane kwaye uthathe uxanduva ngezenzo zakho ezingalunganga. Eli lelinye lamanyathelo afanelekileyo onokuthi uwathathe ukuphucula umgangatho wothando lwakho.

2. Funda ukulalanisa 

Ukwazi indlela yokulalanisa oko ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kulwaneliseko lobudlelwane. Nangona usilwa kubudlelwane, funda ukulalanisa. Awunakuba nendlela yakho ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukuba awufuni ukuba nomlo ofanayo kunye nengxabano efanayo yonke imihla, kungcono ukuba ulalanise kube kanye ngexesha. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokulalanisa emtshatweni okanye ubudlelwane:

• Yekani ukulwa ngezitya ezingcolileyo kwaye nihlukanise imisebenzi yasekhaya ixesha elithile
• Okwangoku, yibani nomdla kwizinto enizithandayo
• Ziphephe iingxabano kubudlelwane ngokuthetha ngokucacileyo ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwemali, nangokwasemzimbeni okulindelekileyo kunye neemfuno
• Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye ukuze waneliseke ngakumbi kubudlelwane
• Jongana nabo rhoqo kwaye uzame ukunxibelelana ngothando lwakho ngaphandle kwamagama kanye ngexesha
• Thetha omnye nomnye xa iqala ukuziva "njengombingelelo"

3. Thatha umzuzwana uphefumle 

Xa nikwingxabano eshushu, musa ukunyanzela iqabane lakho zonke iingcinga kunye neembono zakho. Yenzani oko xa nobabini nikwimo ezolileyo. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyangxola, akuyomfuneko ukuba umphendule ngenjongo yokubonisa ukuba unelizwi yaye uyakwazi ukuma. Ezi zinto ziya kongeza umlilo emlilweni. Xa iqabane lakho lizibandakanya kwisitayile esitshabalalisayo sokuxambulisana, ke uthathe ixesha lokupholisa. Hamba kude kwimeko. 

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4. Musa ukubanyanzela ukuba balwe 

Kuhle kwaye kuvuthiwe kwiqabane lakho ukuba liyazi ukuba aliyi kukwazi ukusingatha impixano kwaye banokugqiba ukwenza / ukuthetha into abaya kuzisola ngayo. Ibonisa indlela abazazi ngayo. Ke ukuba ngexesha lelinye lale milo evuthiswa ngumsindo, iqabane lakho lithatha isigqibo sokuthatha umzuzwana ukuphefumla, emva koko bavumele. Kwisicelo somlingani wakho / isenzo esidalwe ngamaxesha anjalo, bavumele ukuba babe nexesha elilodwa, kwaye ungabasukela bekhala kwincam yolwimi lwakho.

5. Akukho gama libizayo

Xa wena kunye neqabane lakho ninemilo ekruqulayo ngalo lonke ixesha, mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba akukho namnye kuni osombululayo imeko ekhoyo ngelixa usongeza ezinye iingxaki kwimbiza enyibilikayo. Qinisekisa ukuba nanini na uxabana neqabane lakho, awusebenzisi amagama anyelisayo kubo kuba ukubiza amagama kubudlelwane yonakalisa kakhulu isiseko sothando lwakho nothando lwakho. Ezinye izinto ekufuneka uzigcine engqondweni ziquka:

• Sukugqithisa izimvo eziphoxayo 
• Musa ukuthatha ukugrumba kwinkangeleko yabo okanye ukhombe iminwe kumlingiswa weqabane lakho 
• Musa ukusebenzisa ukuba sesichengeni kwabo ngokuchasene nabo 
• Musa ukubaxelela ukuba “bavale umlomo” kwaye benze njengomntu okwaziyo konke
• Musa ukucinga nantoni na 
• Kuphephe ukudlulisela intetho ezijongela phantsi 
• Sukuzama ukukholisa iqabane lakho 

6. Musani ukuxambulisana ngezinto ezininzi ngexesha elinye

Esi sesinye sezizathu zokuba unxibelelwano oluhle lwehla phakathi kwamaqabane. Musani ukulwa ngexesha elinye. U-Ridhi ucebisa ukuba ugxininise amandla akho kwingxabano enye endaweni yokulwa ngazo zonke izinto ezingalunganga kumandla akho. Ngaphaya koko, xa ingxabano ibekiwe, musa ukuyivusa kwenye ingxabano

7. Khumbula ukuba ukwiqela elinye

Akukhathaliseki nokuba yintoni ebangela iingxabano kubudlelwane. Okubalulekileyo yindlela enijongana ngayo nezi mpikiswano “njengeqela”. Ngalo lonke ixesha khumbula ukuba anilwi. Nisilwa kunye ngokuchasene nengxaki. Xa utshintsha izimbo zakho zengxabano kubudlelwane kwaye ulwe kunye njengeqela, yenye yeendlela zokuba nazo iingxabano eziphilileyo kubudlelwane. 

8. Musa ukumgibisela ngamatye iqabane lakho emva komlo 

Abaphandi ufumanise ukuba ukubethelwa ngamatye luhlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kwaye kuchaphazela impilo yengqondo yamadoda neyabasetyhini. Le mpilo yengqondo inokuchaphazela impilo yomzimba. Uya kuba neentamo ezilukhuni, ube nentloko ebuhlungu rhoqo, kunye neentlungu zamagxa. Ke, ukuba unika iqabane lakho unyango oluthe cwaka emva komlo, oko kuthetha ukuba urhuqa umlo ngabom nasemva kokulungisa izinto. Uzama nje ukubohlwaya ngokubagibisela ngamatye. Musa ukubonisa ukungakhathali kweqabane lakho ngokungakhathaleli impilo jikelele yeqabane lakho.

Into yokuba nisilwa kakhulu ayithethi ukuba ubuhlobo benu buya kufikelela esiphelweni. Ubudlelwane bumalunga nokufumana amaxesha ahlekisayo naxa nobabini nivutha ngumsindo. Xa ziphathwa kakuhle, zinokunceda ekuphuculeni ukuhambelana kwenu njengesibini. Ukuba imilo yakho iya isiba nzima kwaye akukho nto ibonakala inciphisa ukugxeka, kufuneka uqwalasele iingcebiso zesibini ukuze ufumane unobangela weengxaki zakho. Ukuba ufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha, iphaneli yeBonobology yabacebisi abanamava kuphela a cofa kude.  

Eli nqaku lihlaziywe ngoMatshi ka-2023.

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.