Ingaba iNarcissist isabela njani xa ingakwazi ukukulawula?

Ngelixa ethetha nge-narcissism kwincwadi yakhe ethengisa kakhulu Ubugcisa Bothando, isazi ngengqondo uErich Fromm sathi, “Esona sizathu siphambili sokuphunyezwa kothando kukoyisa umnqweno kabani.” Kwaye wayenyanisile. I-Narcissism inokuthi, kwiimeko ezininzi ithintele ubudlelwane obunempilo ekukhuleni, kuba akukho nto okanye akukho mntu ubaluleke kakhulu kwii-narcissists kuneziqu zabo. Ulawulo luphawu lomlinganiswa we-narcissist. Kodwa i-narcissist isabela njani xa ingakwazi ukukulawula? Kwaye i-narcissist ivakalelwa njani xa ungacengi kwaye ucenge ukugcina ubudlelwane?

Unokuqiniseka ukuba i-narcissist ayiyi kuthatha ukungakhathali elele phantsi. Xa uthatha ulawulo kude narcissist, bebengayi nokukuyeka kwaye ufuna ukuqhubeka ixhoba kuwe ekuqaleni. Kweli nqaku, ngoncedo lomcebisi wethu wobudlelwane oyingcali Dhriti Bhavsar (I-Master's degree in Psychology, kunye ne-specialization in Clinical Psychology), obuchwephesha obubandakanya iinkalo ezifana nobudlelwane, iingcebiso zangaphambi komtshato, imiba ye-LGBTQ +, kunye nokwahlukana, siya kuhlolisisa okwenzekayo xa i-narcissist isazi ukuba ilahlekile okanye ifumanisa ukuba ishiywe. Ke, funda ukuze ufumane iimpendulo kumbuzo wakho ovuthayo, "Inza njani i-narcissist xa ilahlekelwe nguwe?", kwaye uzisindise kuxhatshazo lwe-narcissistic.

Ukulawula njani umntu weNarcissistic? 

Lulwazi oluqhelekileyo ukuba ii-narcissists ziyaphumelela kwingqalelo. Bangabantu abanokugqithisa ukuzithanda kunye nesidingo esiqhubekayo sokuziva ukhethekileyo. Kwakhona abanaluvelwano okanye iimvakalelo zothando yaye babalawula ngokungqongqo abo babangqongileyo okanye bazisebenzisele inzuzo yabo. Research ibonakalise amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuba ii-pathological narcissists zibonisa inani leempawu eziphawulweyo. Ke, abantu abane-narcissism enkulu (evela kwi-innate superhiority complex) banokubonisa: 

• ukuzidla
• Ilungelo
• Umona
• Charm

Ngelixa abantu abane i-narcissism esengozini (okubangelwa kukungazithembi) bonisa:

• U khu seleko
• Ukuhlaziywa
• Ukungabinanto

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Izigaba ezingama-21 zobudlelwane beNarcissistic kunye ne-Empath

Kodwa i-narcissist yenza njani xa ifuna ukukulawula? UDhriti ucacisa esithi: “AmaNarciss ubukhulu becala axhomekeke kubuchule bokulawula iimvakalelo zabantu. Kwaye la maqhinga zizixhobo narcissists ukongamela abo babathandayo kunye nabanye ababangqongileyo. Ngoko ke, makhe sijonge ezinye zezi zenzo zobuqhophololo ezisetyenziswa ngama-narcisists:

1. Ukukhanyisa ngegesi

Ukukhanyisa igesi sisenzo sokwenza ukuba ungathandabuzi ukuba nengqondo yakho ngokutyeshela iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye ii-narcissists ziinkosi zesi senzo sobuqhetseba. UDhriti uthi, “Kubantu abasebenzisa i-narcissists, konke kumalunga nokuthintela ixhoba ekuveliseni ukuthandabuza kobudlelwane okanye imiba ngokukhanyela inyaniso yabo okanye ukukhumbula iziganeko. Ngoko ke, kwiimeko ezinjalo, abantu abasebenzisa iziyobisi basenokusebenzisa amazwi anjengala: “Ukhumbula izinto ezimbi” okanye “Bekungekubi kangako,” ukuze benze ixhoba lizibuze yaye okwesibini liqikelele amava neemvakalelo zalo.

2. Thanda uqhushumbisi kunye nemimoya 

Elinye iqhinga elithi narcissists lisebenzisa ukufumana ulawulo ngumxube onolwazi thanda ibhombu kunye nesiporho. Ukuqhunyiswa kwebhombu kuxa behlamba uthando olugqithisileyo emntwini ngelixa isiporho kubandakanya ukusika lonke unxibelelwano kunye nonxibelelwano ngaphandle kwengcaciso.

U-Dhriti wongezelela, "I-Narcissists iqinisekisa ukuba yinto eqhubekayo yokusukela ikati kunye neempuku. Xa bekunika ingqalelo, kukho into eninzi ongazi ukuba wenzeni ngayo. Baza kukuhlamba ngezipho, ixesha, kunye namazwi amnandi. Baya kukwenza uzive uphezulu emhlabeni. Emva koko, ngequbuliso, baya kubuya umva kwaye bayakuphendula kwaye baya kuphinda bafowune okanye baphinde bafowunele. bathi ekugqibeleni baphendule, baya kuba kude ngokweemvakalelo kwaye bagodole, oku kusenokwenza ixhoba lingakhuselekanga ngokweemvakalelo kwaye lithembele kwi-narcissist ukulenza lizive bhetele.

3. Ukudlala ikhadi lexhoba

IiNarcisists zihlala zingamaxhoba emehlweni abo. Abanakuze bafikelele kwiimpazamo zabo, bazive benetyala ngezenzo zabo ezigwenxa, okanye bathathe uxanduva ngezenzo zabo. UDhriti uthi, “Kwanokuba ixhoba lokwenene lizama ukuzisa into eyenziwa ngulo mfundisi-ntsapho ukuze alilimaze, umqhubi uya kuyijikela entloko aze athabathe elo thuba ukuze agxeke yonke into eyenziwa lixhoba.”

4. Uqikelelo

Uqikelelo yindlela yokuzikhusela edla ngokusetyenziswa ngabantu abangabazi. Kubandakanya ukushenxisa iimvakalelo zikabani ezingakhiyo komnye umntu. UDhriti wongezelela ngelithi: “AmaNarciss akholelwa ukuba afezekile. Ngoko ke, xa ethuthuzelwa yinyaniso ngeentsilelo zawo, loo nto ibangela unxunguphalo.” Andula ke aqalise ukutyhola abantu ababangqongileyo ngokwenza into efanayo. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Inkcazo malunga nento eyenziwa nguNarcissist ekupheleni kobudlelwane

5. Ukuxoka

AmaNarcisists ngamaxoki amakhulu kwaye ahlala exoka ukwenza abanye abantu babonakale 'njengabakhohlakeleyo' kwibali labo, ukuze babonakale bebhetele xa bethelekisa. UDhriti uyachaza, “AmaNarcissist axoka ngendlela eyeyisela ngayo kangangokuba umntu ova amabali abo uziva enyanzelekile ukuba awakholelwe aze abe nosizi.”

Ke, ngoku njengoko sisazi malunga neendlela ezisetyenziswa ngama-narcisists ukufumana ulawulo phezu kwabanye, usenokuba uyazibuza ukuba ezi ulawulo freaks basabela xa belahlekelwa kukubamba amaqabane abo okanye ixhoba labo lithatha isigqibo sokulwa. Kulungile, makhe sijonge kwiimeko ezimbalwa ezinjalo.

Iimpendulo ezili-11 onokuzilindela xa i-Narcissist iqonda ukuba iphulukene nawe

Ke, i-narcissist isabela njani xa ingakwazi kukulawula? Ewe, xa i-narcissist ilahlekelwa ukulawula ixhoba labo, kufana nomntwana olahlekelwa yinto yakhe yokudlala. Uyabona, ama-narcissists ayayithanda idrama kwaye benza ngokubonakalayo xa bengakwazi ukukhohlisa amaxhoba abo. Ke, xa uthatha ulawulo kude ne-narcissist, baziva ngathi baphulukene nomntu othe waphulula i-ego yabo. 

Oku kukhokelela ekulahlekelweni kokubaluleka kwaye kunokukhokelela ekuphenduleni okunamandla kakhulu kwi-narcissist. Impendulo elula ku “Inarcissist iziva njani xa ungacengi kwaye ucenge?” kukuba abanakuyamkela inyaniso enzima. Yaye indlela abaziphatha ngayo ayinakuqikelelwa. Ukuba liziko lendalo yabo, ii-narcissists zikholisa ukuzibonakalisa njengamaxhoba xa amaqabane abo ekhululeka kuxhatshazo lwabo.

Xa u yenza i-narcissist ibe lusizi ngokubabetha kumdlalo wabo, banokuzama kwaye bakuzuze umva, kodwa ekugqibeleni, banokubonisa umsindo we-narcissistic kwaye bakunqumle ngokupheleleyo. Makhe sijonge kwiimpendulo ezili-11 umntu anokuzilindela xa i-narcissist iqonda ukuba uphulukene nawe: 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iimpawu ezi-8 ze-Covert Narcissist Hoovering kunye nendlela omawuphendule ngayo

1. Ukurhweba

Impendulo yokuqala ethi “Ingaba i-narcissist isabela njani xa ingakwazi ukukulawula?,” yeyokuba baya kuzama ngako konke abanako ukufumana impendulo kuwe okanye ukuba uthethe. UDhriti uthi: “Ubukhulu becala, eyona nto isebenzayo kukuba nomsindo. 

Ukurhwebesha kusenokuquka ukwenza umntu azive esoyika, ukukhubeka enetyala, okanye ukumtyhola ngobuxoki ngento ethile. I-Reddit umsebenzisi, ngoxa wayethetha ngaye isoka le-narcissistic owamshiyayo, wathi, “Uzamile ukundenza ityala ngokuthetha naye ngokuthi izalamane ziswelekile okanye ziyagula.”

2. Buyela kuthando lokuqhushumba 

Xa i-baiting ayisebenzi, i-narcissists ingaqala ukunihlamba ngothando, ngendlela efanayo abayenzayo kwiintsuku zokuqala, kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezingalunganga. UDhriti uyacacisa: “Oku kuqhushumbiswa kothando ngequbuliso kusenokukwenza ubuze isigqibo sakho sokusuka kude kubo kuba baya kubonakala befana nalo mntu umangalisayo yaye bakwenze uzive wonwabile.” Kwiimeko ezinjalo, basenokuzama ukukukhumbuza ngawe. amaxesha asemgangathweni eniwachithe kunye mandulo." Ungaziva ulingeka ukuba ulungise iindlela kwaye wenze ubudlelwane busebenze. Kodwa khumbula, ukubuyela kwi-narcissist kwiimeko ezinjalo kunokuba yimpazamo enkulu.

3. Amathemba obuxoki okuvalwa

Xa unamandla kakhulu kwi-narcissist, ngamanye amaxesha, kumzamo onzima wokubuyisela ulawulo, banokuzenza ngathi bakunika ukuvala okanye isisombululo. UDhriti uthi: “Basenokucela ukudibana nawe ndaweni ithile okanye bathethe kwifowuni ukuze kuvalwe, yaye xa ixesha lifika, bakumise.” Xa ubafowunela, baya kukhanyela ukuba ukhe wenza izicwangciso ezinjalo baze bakubize ngokuthi uphambene. i-narcissist gaslighting. Umntu othanda ukuhlambalaza uyakonwabela ukunika iqabane lakhe ithemba lobuxoki kwaye uyathanda ukulenza lizive lilusizi.

4. Ukukwahlula

Impendulo ebalulekileyo kumbuzo othi, "Ingaba i-narcissist isabela njani xa ifumanisa ukuba awusakhathali okanye xa ifumanisa ukuba uwufumene umdlalo wayo?", kukuba unokuzama ukukwahlula. Xa i-ego ebuthathaka ye-narcissist yenzakele, baya kuzama yonke into iqhinga lokukhohlisa kubudlelwane, ukusa kumkhamo wokukwahlukanisa nabahlobo nentsapho. 

UDhriti wongezelela ngelithi, “Umntu oyinkcuba-buchopho usenokufowunela abahlobo bakho omnye aze ahambe ethetha kakubi ngawe. Ke, yintoni onokuyenza xa i-narcissist izama ukukulawula ngale ndlela? Ewe, musa ukuwela emgibeni. Hlala unxibelelana nabantu obathandayo.

5. Ukuqiniswa okwethutyana

Xa ubetha i-narcissist kumdlalo wabo, banokusebenzisa elo themba libuthathaka onokuba nalo kwenye ikona yengqondo yakho. Eli lelinye iqhinga elenzayo ukushiya ubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo kunzima kakhulu kwixhoba. Igama elaqanjwa sisazi ngengqondo u-BF Skinner, 'ukuqinisa okwethutyana' lichaza imeko apho umntu aziva enokuninzi anokuzuza ngenxa yokuba uye wawongwa ngokungaguquguqukiyo. Kufana nokuphulukana nayo yonke imali yakho kwikhasino kuba elinye ixesha ophumeleleyo lakwenza wachitha imali oyongile kamva, njengoko ubunethemba lokuphumelela kwakhona.

UDhriti uthi, “Ukuqinisa okwethutyana kukunika ‘umvuzo’ ngamaxesha angaqhelekanga, ngoko loo mntu akanakuze alazi ukuba alindele nini umvuzo aze aqhubeke nehambo yakhe. Eli nqanaba kulapho kufuneka ukwazi ukuthatha ulawulo kude narcissist, ngokunganikezeli.

6. Ukwenzakala kweNarcissistic

Ikwabizwa ngokuba linxeba le-narcissistic, ukulimala kwe-narcissistic kubhekiselele kwimvakalelo yokuthotywa okugqithileyo athi i-narcissist ivakale xa bephulukene nolawulo kumaxhoba abo okanye beziva bethukiwe. UDhriti wongezelela ngelithi, “Kuxa ukuziqonda kwabo ngokufezeka kuye kwenzakala kuba beqonda ukuba kukho umntu onokubashiya ngokulula. ukuthandana ne narcissist ubuya kwazi ukuba oku kudla ngokubenza bagqabhuke baze benze impindezelo.”

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Isikhokelo sakho sendlela yokujongana nomntu onomsindo kubudlelwane

7. Umsindo weNarcissistic

Vala kwizithende zokulimala kwe-narcissistic ngumsindo we-narcissistic. Xa i-narcissist ingayifumani indlela yayo, iqala ukuphosa. Maxa wambi, basenokusabela ngogonyamelo baze bazame ukuziphindezela kumaxhoba abo ngenxa yokungawahoyi okanye ukuwashiya. UDhriti wongeza, “Inkqubo yabo yokucinga kukuba, “Ungandikhathaza njani? Ndiza kukwenzakalisa ngakumbi.” Ingabonakalisa kwakhona ngohlobo lomzimba, ingqondo, kunye ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo."

8. Ukuhamba phambi kokuba ubashiye

Enye impendulo ethi, “Isabela njani i-narcissist xa ifumanisa ukuba awusakhathali okanye ifumanisa ukuba uzama ukubashiya?,” yeyokuba basenokukushiya ngaphambi kokuba ubashiye. A narcissist uya kuzama ukuphumelela umva nje ukuba ukondla ego zabo okanye ukuphendula imizamo yabo ukuze ubuyele kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo. Ngelixa i-narcissist ifumana ingcebiso yokuba usenokuzishiya ziphele, baya kuba ngabokuqala ukuqhekeza. Oku kwanelisa i-ego yabo. Kodwa into omawuyenze xa i-narcissist izama ukukulawula ixhomekeke kuwe ngokupheleleyo. Thatha isigqibo sokuba uyafuna na ukulinda uze uzibukele okanye uzishiye ngoko nangoko.

9. Izityhilelo ezimbi

Ngoxa i i-narcissist yohlukana nawe, baya kuzama ukukunika isibetho sokugqibela. Kwincoko yokwahlukana, baya kuzama kwaye bakubangele intlungu ngakumbi kumgudu wokutshabalalisa impilo-ntle yakho yeemvakalelo kunye nokuzithemba. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukwazi indlela yokuthatha ulawulo kude ne-narcissist ngokungaphenduli.

UDhriti uthi, “Ukuba umntu othanda ukuhlambalaza wenze into embi ebudeni bobudlelwane awayekufihlele kona, baya kukutyhilela oko ngoku.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iingcebiso ezili-9 zeNgcali malunga nendlela yokujongana neqabane likaNarcissist

10. Izityholo

Xa i-narcissist iqonda ukuba ugqibile, incoko yokugqibela yokwahlukana nabo inokuphelela kubo benityhola ngobuxoki kwizinto onokuthi ungazenzanga. UDhriti wongeza ngelithi, “Basenokulijongela phantsi iqabane labo kwaye baqalise ukukhomba iimpazamo zabo kwaye bahlasele ukuzithemba kwabo.” Ngaloo ndlela, bayakwazi:

• Phatha ingqalelo kwiintsilelo zabo
• Beka ixhoba kwimodi yokuzikhusela
• Bazithethelele ukuze bafihle izenzo zabo ezigwenxa

11. Akukho kuvalwa

Xa narcissist ugqibile ngawe kwaye uyaqonda ukuba abanakukhupha nayiphi na imvakalelo kuwe, baya kuphelisa lonke unxibelelwano ngequbuliso. Abantu abanjalo abanayo nayiphi na inkxalabo ngeemvakalelo zeqabane labo. Khumbula, i-narcissist ayisoze ihlale kubahlobo emva kokwahlukana okanye ikunike ithuba lokuvalwa. UDhriti uyacacisa, “Xa beqonda ukuba abayi kunconywa, baqinisekise, okanye bazive bevakalelwa kukuba baya kusuka bakulahle.”

Ngaba ukuthatha amandla kude kwi-Narcissist kubenza bakulahle?

Ngoku unempendulo ethi: “Ingaba i-narcissist isabela njani xa ingakwazi ukukulawula?,” masifumanise ukuba i-narcissist ikushiya unomphela xa ibona ukuba iphulukene nolawulo kubudlelwane. UDhriti uthi, “I-narcissist ifuna kuphela ukuba phakathi kwabo banako ziqinisekise ngokweemvakalelo kwaye bangakhuphisani ukuzijonga kwabo ukuba bagqibelele. Ukuba abanawo amandla phezu kwakho, banokukulahla kakuhle, kuba abakuboni njengomntu. Bakubona njengoncedo okanye unopopi okhoyo kuphela ukuze afezekise iimfuno zabo. "

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Unyango oluthuleyo lweNarcissist: Yintoni kunye nendlela yokuphendula

Kodwa ukuba uyazibuza ukuba wazi njani ukuba uza kulahlwa yi-narcissist, khumbula, kusoloko kukho ezo ngcebiso zifihlakeleyo eziza phambi kwenqanaba lokugqibela lokulahla i-narcissistic. Nantsi imiqondiso omawuyilumkele ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ingaba uza kulahlwa na yi-narcissist:

• Akusekho nomona
• Badlala ngothando okanye bangena kubudlelwane obutsha
• Akukho thando lokuqhushumba
• Akukho kurhuqa okanye ukuzama ukukubuyisela
• Ukungakhathali kubudlelwane

I-Narcissism sisifo sobuntu esinetyhefu esimana siluma kubudlelwane kancinane kwaye sitshabalalisa eyona nto iphambili. Siyathemba ukuba sikwazile ukukunceda ngomfanekiso ocacileyo wokuba ulawulo lwe-narcissistic kubudlelwane lujongeka njani. Sikwanethemba lokuba awusazibuza, "Ingaba i-narcissist isabela njani xa ingakwazi kukulawula?" Uyabona xa i-narcissist iyazi ukuba ilahlekelwa okanye igqithisekile, ubudlelwane buya kuba ekupheleni kokufumana konke ukukhungatheka kunye nomsindo.

Khumbula, nokuba unamandla kakhulu kwi-narcissist, ukuhlukana nabo kusenokungasoloko kulula. Ngaphezu koko, iimvakalelo zinokubandakanyeka, ngakumbi ukuba uku ubudlelwane bexesha elide bothando. Ngoko, uya kuziva ubuhlungu. Kodwa xa i-narcissist iqonda ukuba ugqibile, unokuba lixhoba ngakumbi, bade bamunce onke amandla kuwe. 

Ke, okona kubaluleke ngakumbi kukuqonda ukubaluleka kwakho kwaye wenze ikhefu elicocekileyo kunye ne-narcissist phambi kokuba ukuxhatshazwa kwabo konakalise ngokungenakulungiseka. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba akukho 'thina' ngaphandle 'kwam', kwaye ukuba ulawulo lwe-narcissistic luba lukhulu kuwe, ayikho enye indlela yokuhamba ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ukukhusela impilo yakho yengqondo. Akukho sizathu sokutsala izinto ezinokungaze zisebenze. Lo ngumgaqo wegolide wobudlelwane. Ke, vumela ukuzithanda kuthathe indawo kwaye kugxile kwinkqubo yakho yokuphilisa. Kholelwa kuwe kwaye uthabathe inyathelo.

Izinto ezili-9 omele uzilumkele xa uxabana noMyeni oyiNarcissistic

Uphuma njani kubudlelwane obulawulayo-iindlela ezisi-8 zokuqhawula

Ukubhenca i-Narcissist-Okufanele Uyazi

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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