Iimpawu ezili-11 ezibuhlungu Iqabane lakho lithatha ubudlelwane bakho njengesiqhelo

Ulwalamano oluphilileyo nolunelisayo lusekelwe ekuthembaneni, ekuhlonelaneni nasekuxabiseni oko amaqabane akwenzelana kona. Ukuze uthando luqhubele phambili, kubalulekile ukuba amaqabane ayamkele imizamo eyenziwa ngomnye. Ukuthathela ingqalelo ubudlelwane, ukungawubuyiseli umzamo owenziwe liqabane elinye, okanye ukubenza bazive bengabalulekanga kunokupela intshabalalo kwintsebenziswano.

Ukuthatha umntu kancinci kubudlelwane kungonakalisa ukuzithemba kwakhe kwaye kunokumenza azive enenzondo kunye nomsindo kwiqabane lakhe. Sathetha nomqeqeshi wokuthandana Geetarsh Kaur, umseki we-The Skill School ejongene nokwakha ubudlelwane obuluqilima, malunga nokuba yintoni ethathwa njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo, kutheni umntu ekuthatha nje kancinci, kwaye wenze ntoni xa iqabane lakho likuthatha kancinci kubudlelwane.

Kuthetha ukuthini ukuthabatha umntu ngokungekho mthethweni kubudlelwane?

Ngaba ujonge ukuthathwa njengentsingiselo engaqhelekanga? Ewe, ngokutsho kukaMerriam-Webster, ukuthathwa njengento eqhelekileyo "ukuxabisa (into okanye umntu) ngokukhawuleza okanye ukungaphumeleli ukuqaphela okanye ukuxabisa ngokufanelekileyo (umntu okanye into emele ixatyiswe)". I-Geetarsh uyachaza: “Xa ulwalamano luqalisa, abantu baziva befudumala yaye bedidekile.Kukho uxabiso ngezinto ezincinane amaqabane azenzela zona.Kodwa, njengoko luhambela phambili, elinye iqabane liyayeka ukuzixabisa okanye lizivume izimbo zomzimba zelinye iqabane.

"Oku kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba iinzame ziqala ukuziva njengesiqhelo. Baziva ngathi ngumsebenzi weqabane labo ukubenzela ezo zinto. Baziva benelungelo kuyo yonke imizamo kunye nokuzincama kweqabane labo. Yiloo nto ukuthatha umntu njengento engenamsebenzi kubudlelwane kuthetha.

Ukuthathelwa ingqalelo, intsingiselo, ukuthathwa, kungonakalisa amandla akho nabani na. Ubudlelwane bumalunga nokupha kunye nokuthatha. Iqabane linokuthi uzive ungahoywanga, bengahoywa yaye bengaxatyiswanga emva kothando nenyameko abayinika omnye. Okanye abaziva bengaxatyiswa ngokwaneleyo ngomgudu abawenzileyo kwintsebenziswano. Okanye iqabane labo alibaniki imbeko ebafaneleyo. Okanye izimbo zomzimba zabo aziphindi zibuyiselwe. Yazi zonke ezi ziimpawu zokuthatha izinto lula kubudlelwane.

Maxa wambi, ukuvakalelwa kukuba uthatyathwe lula kunokuba ngumphumo wokunganxibelelani kakuhle. Xa kunjalo, wena neqabane lakho ningathetha ngalo mba nize nifikelele kwisisombululo. Iqabane lakho linokuba nombulelo ngayo yonke into oyenzela lona, ​​kodwa alikwazanga ukuyichaza ngendlela obungathanda ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha, kunokuziva ngathi uthotyiwe okanye awuxatyiswanga kwimizamo yakho. Makhe sixoxe ngeempawu zokuthatha ubudlelwane njengento eqhelekileyo ukuze kucace ngcono.

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Iimpawu ezili-11 ezibuhlungu Iqabane lakho lithatha ubudlelwane bakho njengesiqhelo

Ngaba uhlala ujongana nentombazana ethatha ukuba uyithathe kancinci? Okanye ukukhangela imiqondiso akuthatha lula emva nje kweenyanga ezimbalwa ukuthandana? Kulungile, iimpawu zokuthatha ubudlelwane njengento eqhelekileyo idla ngobuqili, okwenza kube nzima kwiqabane ekupheleni kokufumana ukuqonda okanye ukuqaphela. Ngamanye amaxesha, uba njalo uphambene ngothando kunye neqabane lakho ukuba udla ngoyaba ezimbi kwaye ugxininise okulungileyo endaweni.

Kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngendlela ophathwa ngayo ngumntu wakho okhethekileyo, mhlawumbi uye wacinga ukuba kutheni umntu ekuthatha njengento nje emva kokuba ethe uyakuthanda. Yaye indlela ukuziphatha okunjalo kukuchaphazela ngayo wena nolwalamano lwakho. Ngokutsho kukaGeetarsh, “Bakuthabatha njengento eqhelekileyo kuba becinga ukuba iqabane labo lisoloko liqondana, liqolile yaye likulungele, yaye banomkhwa wokuziyeka.” Loo ndlela yokuziphatha yakha ukungathembani, idala umgama phakathi kwamaqabane, yaye ibangela ukunxibelelana kakubi.

Ukuqonda into omawuyenze xa iqabane lakho likuthatha lula, kufuneka uqaphele iimpawu ezibonisa ukuba uxhatshazwa ngokungafanelekanga. Ukuqaphela iimpawu kuya kukunceda ukunyanga ingxaki. Nazi iimpawu ezili-11 zokukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba iqabane lakho lithatha ubudlelwane ngokulula.

1. Abakhe bathi “enkosi”

UGeetarsh uthi: “Abantu abanjalo abanambulelo. imisebenzi yasendlini okanye izinto ezintle ozenzayo ukubenza bazive bekhethekile, ngoko ke bakuthatha lula. Ukuba abakhe babonakalise umbulelo nangayiphi na indlela, ngezinto ezincinane okanye ezinkulu obenzela zona, yilumkele loo hambo.”

Olunye uphawu lokuthatha umntu kancinci kubudlelwane kukuba baya kuyeka ukuqaphela amanyathelo owathathayo ukugcina ubambiswano. Abanakuze bayixabise imigudu yakho okanye bade bakuvume ukulalanisa okanye ukuzincama okwenzayo ngenxa yabo. Abazukuqonda ukubaluleka kwakho ebomini babo. Ungayichitha njengomcimbi omncinci kodwa yiflegi enkulu ebomvu ukuba iqabane lakho alibonakalisi ukubonga ngayo yonke into oyenzela yona.

2. Abafuni ngcebiso kwimibandela ebalulekileyo

Ubudlelwane kufuneka bube yintsebenziswano yabantu abalinganayo. Izigqibo ngemibandela engabalulekanga okanye ebalulekileyo zichaphazela omabini amacala, kungoko amaqabane omabini kufuneka adibane aze agqibe ngento afuna ukuyenza. Ukuba oko akwenzeki, ngoko ke a ubudlelwane iflegi ebomvu. Ukuba iqabane lakho alikuceli uluvo lwakho okanye iingcebiso okanye akazihluphi ngokubonisana nawe phambi kokuba wenze isigqibo esibalulekileyo ebomini, oko luphawu lokuba bathatha izinto lula kubudlelwane.

Geetarsh uthi: “Ukuba iqabane lakho alikubandakanyi okanye lifune uluvo lwakho kuyo nayiphi na inkqubo yokwenza izigqibo, ukuba alixubushi ngezinto ezintsha okanye iziqalelo ebomini balo, oko kuthetha ukuba alicingi ukuba ubalulekile ngokwaneleyo.

Bajonge ngokucacileyo ubukho bakho kunye negalelo kubudlelwane. Luphawu lokuba iingcinga zakho azinaxabiso. Kwiimeko ezigqithisileyo, mhlawumbi bakubona njengeqabane lendebe okanye isincedisi, yiyo loo nto beyigatya imbono yakho, iziqinisekiso zemfundo, kunye namava - yiyo kanye le nto ithathwa njengento eqhelekileyo.

3. Bafuna kakhulu kwaye balindele okukhulu kakhulu kuwe

Ukuphinda-phinda, ubudlelwane bubudlelwane obulinganayo apho uxanduva, okulindelweyo, kunye nomsebenzi kwahlulwahlulwayo. Kodwa ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uthatha yonke inyathelo lokuqala, ukwenza yonke imisebenzi kunye nokuphakamisa okunzima, ukwenza yonke imibingelelo encinci kunye nenkulu, kwaye ungafumani "enkosi" elula ngokubuyisela, yazi ukuba iqabane lakho lithatha ubudlelwane obuncinci.

Umzekelo, ukuba umyeni wakho ufuna into eninzi kuwe kwaye ulindele ukuba ulawule yonke into - imisebenzi yasekhaya, ukunyamekela abantwana, cwangcisa ubusuku bemihla ngemihla, sebenza ixesha elongezelelekileyo ngeerandi ezimbalwa ezongezelelweyo, ungahlali nabantu abathile kuba engathandi - ke ezi iimpawu ezibonisa ukuba uyakuthatha lula. Ngokufanayo, ukuba uthandana nomntu obhinqileyo kwaye uzibone uphuma kwindlela yokwenza ubudlelwane busebenze ngelixa yena kunzima ukukunika ingqalelo, yazi ukuba akulunganga ukuba ujongane nentombi ekuthatha nje kancinci.

4. Babeka phambili umsebenzi wabo kunye nabahlobo kunawe

Ukuba naliphi na iqabane usoloko prioritizing umsebenzi wabo okanye abahlobo phezu kwakho, oko luphawu lokuthatha umntu kubudlelwane. Asithi kufuneka ubanike esihogweni ukuya ebusuku-out kunye nabahlobo babo okanye ukubuya emva kwexesha emsebenzini kanye ngexesha. Kodwa ukuba iba yinto yesiqhelo ukuya kuthi ga ekuchitheni ixesha kunye nawe uziva ngathi unyanzelekile okanye ukuphithizela ecaleni okanye 'ilanga liphumile entshona' uhlobo lwemeko, ngoko ke iqabane lakho lithatha ubudlelwane njengento nje.

Ngokutsho kukaGeetarsh, “Ufanele ube nembopheleleko ngeqabane lakho.Kusenokubakho iintsuku ezixakekileyo kodwa kufuneka uzibekele ixesha lowo umthandayo. Ukuba bahlala berhoxisa izicwangciso okanye baqhubeka behlehlisa ngenxa yokuba bexakeke kakhulu emsebenzini okanye kufuneka badibane nabahlobo, oko kuluphawu lokuba iqabane lakho likuthabatha lula.”

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5. Bayiqhawula incoko

Ngaba iqabane lakho lisoloko lingxamele ukugqiba incoko? Ngaba unomkhwa wokuqhawula yonke incoko? Emva koko, lumka kuba ezi ziimpawu akuthatha njengesiqhelo. Intombi yakho iyahamba xa usathetha nayo okanye yenza isingxengxezo sokuphuma efowunini ngokungxama qho xa uyifowunela, ingakufowuli ugqibezele incoko? Kulungile ke mhlawumbi kufuneka ujongane nentombi ekuthatha nje kancinci.

UGeetarsh uthi: “Olunye uphawu lokuthabatha lula izinto kulwalamano kukuba abantu ababonakalisa isimilo esinjalo basoloko bengxamele ukuyiphelisa incoko namaqabane abo, enoba bathetha ubuso ngobuso okanye ngomnxeba. uzive ungafunwa, engaviwa, engaxatyiswanga yaye ethukwa.” Ukuba iqabane lakho likuxabisile kunye neemvakalelo zakho, akufuneki zikwenze ube semthethweni ukuba ubona ipateni, yazi ukuba iqabane lakho lithatha ubudlelwane ngokulula.

6. Abakumameli into oyithethayo

Ulwalamano oluphilileyo lubandakanya omabini amaqabane ukumamelana nokunikela ingqalelo kwiimfuno zomnye. Ukuphulaphula omnye komnye akuncedi kuphela amaqabane ukuba aqonde iimfuno zomnye, iminqweno, kunye nezinto ezilindelekileyo kubudlelwane kodwa kubonisa inkathalo kunye nenkxalabo. Ukuba elinye iqabane akasamameli elinye okanye akamamelanga njengoko bekunjalo ngaphambili, luphawu lokuthatha umntu njengento engenamsebenzi kubudlelwane.

UGeetarsh ucacisa esithi: “Masithi ubunosuku oluchulumancisayo emsebenzini okanye nabahlobo bakho okanye ebudeni bohambo lwakho.” Ngokuqinisekileyo ubuya kufuna ukuxelela iqabane lakho into efanayo.

7. Bayaluphepha uthando nokusondelelana

Lo ngomnye wemiqondiso ephambili yokuthatha ubudlelwane njengento engenamsebenzi. Bonke ubudlelwane bahamba ngezigaba apho kukho uthando oluncinci okanye ukusondelana okuncitshisiweyo kodwa ukuba kufuneka uyicenge kwiqabane lakho, yiflegi ebomvu leyo. Ukuba uziva ngathi abanamdla wokukuqhatha okanye ikwenza uzive ukhethekile, okanye ukuba kukho nasiphi na isimbo somzimba esivakalelwa kukuba bayazinyanzela ukuba bakwenze oko, oko kuluphawu lokuba uthathwa njengento engenamsebenzi.

Kubudlelwane, kuyenzeka ukuba elinye iqabane alithandani okanye alikho likhulu kwizijekulo ze-lovey-dovey kunye nemiboniso yothando esidlangalaleni. Kodwa ukuba akukho mbonakaliso yothando kwaphela okanye ukutshintshiselana ngeflirty ngamaxesha athile phakathi kwamaqabane, kungakho ingxaki. Kungenzeka ukuba bayazi ukuba awusoze ubashiye okanye ubaqhathe, yiyo loo nto ukungazinaki iimfuno zakho akuyonto inkulu kubo. Ukuba uye wazisa iinkxalabo zakho kwaye akukho zilungiso ezivela kwicala labo, luphawu olucacileyo lokuthatha izinto lula kubudlelwane.

8. Bazikhaba ngawo omane izinto ezikuxhalabisayo neemvakalelo zakho

Enye iflegi ebomvu yokuthatha ubudlelwane ngokulula kuxa iqabane lakho lilahla izinto ezikuxhalabisayo okanye ukuba bayakukhanyisela ngalo lonke ixesha uvakalisa iimfuno zakho okanye amaxhala kubo. Ukuba bakwenza uzive kakubi ngawe okanye bangakuhloniphi, yazi ukuba uthathwa njengento eqhelekileyo.

UGeetarsh uthi: “Ngaba iingxabano neqabane lakho zidla ngokujika zibe lidabi eloyisayo?

Kubudlelwane, amaqabane kufuneka ajongane kwaye ajongane. Zifanele zibe negalelo kulonwabo lwakho, zingafumani iindlela zokukwenza ukuziva ungathandwa okanye ukungahlonelwa. Ukuba abazibekanga phambili iimvakalelo zakho okanye ukugxeka, yazi ukuba bakuthatha njengento elula kwaye lixesha lokuba uzimele kunye nempilo yakho.

9. Benza izicwangciso bengakubuzanga

Ngaba iqabane lakho linomkhuba wokwenza izicwangciso ngaphandle kokukubuza? Ngaba baya phambili kwaye babhukishe ixesha lakho okanye ikhalenda ngaphandle kokucela imvume yakho kwaye ngaphandle kokujonga ukuba uya kukhululeka ukuba uhlale? Ngaba bancamathele nakuphi na ukubaluleka kubukho bakho phambi kokuba uzibophelele kwizicwangciso? Ewe, ukuba abanayo intlonipho yemvume yakho okanye ezinye izibophelelo, luphawu olucacileyo lokuba uthathwa njengento engenamsebenzi.

Ukuba iqabane lakho lenza oko likufunayo, liza lize lihambe njengoko lithanda, okanye libhale rhoqo lonke ixesha lokuqeshwa kwabo ngexesha lakho lekhefu, luphawu lokuba bathatha izinto lula kubudlelwane. Ukuba balindele okanye bafuna ukuba ulahle izibophelelo zakho ukulungiselela ishedyuli kunye neemfuno zabo, kodwa ukwala ukwenza okufanayo xa uzifuna, ngoko awuphathwa ngokufanelekileyo kobu budlelwane.

10. Bafumana ngaphezulu kunoko banikela ngako

Ubudlelwane buyindlela ezimbini. Kuthatha ezimbini ukuya kwi-tango. Eyakho ulwimi lothando inokwahluka. Unokuba neendlela ezahlukeneyo zokubonisa uthando okanye umbulelo kodwa kubalulekile ukuba omabini amaqabane anikele ngokulinganayo. Ngaphandle koko, yenye yeempawu zobudlelwane obungenampilo kunye neflegi ebomvu ukuba iqabane lakho likuthatha lula.

UGeetarsh uyacacisa, “Ukuba liqabane elinye kuphela elithatha inyathelo lokuqala kwaye lenza konke okusemandleni ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze - ukucwangcisa ubusuku bokuthandana, ukutya isidlo kunye, ukuya eholideyini, esithi "Ndiyakuthanda", encoma, ecwangcisa into eyothusayo - ngelixa elinye lingabuyiseli okanye liyivume nayiphi na kwezi, ngoko luphawu lokuthatha ubudlelwane kancinci.

Ngaba usoloko uthabatha inyathelo lokuqala lokusondela ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho? Ngaba uhlala uceba imihla yokuzalwa, isikhumbuzo, okanye ezinye iziganeko ezikhethekileyo? Ngaba nguwe wedwa owenza yonke imisebenzi kunye nokulawula yonke into ngelixa iqabane lakho lihleli ngaphandle kokhathalelo emhlabeni? Ukuba impendulo kuyo yonke le mibuzo ngu 'ewe', siyaxolisa ukutsho kodwa uthathwa njengento engenamsebenzi kubudlelwane. Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho licinga ukuba soze umke kungakhathaliseki indlela akuphethe ngayo.

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11. Bathumela imiyalezo kuphela okanye bathethe xa befuna into ethile

Xa naliphi na iqabane liqalisa incoko kuphela xa befuna into ethile, oko a uphawu lobudlelwane obungenampilo. Ukuba bafowunela, bathumela imiyalezo, okanye bathetha nawe kuphela ukuze bafezekise imfuno kwaye babonise ukungakhathaleli ixesha lakho, yazi ukuba bathatha ubudlelwane ngokulula. Amaqabane kufuneka akwazi ukuba neencoko ezinentsingiselo kubudlelwane. Kodwa ukuba iincoko zenu ziye zaphelela kumsebenzi wesiqhelo kuphela, kukho ingxaki.

NgokukaGeetarsh, "Ngexesha lemithombo yeendaba zentlalo, kunokwenzeka ukuba amaqabane aveze iimvakalelo zawo ngokuthumela phambili kwi-Instagram okanye kuFacebook. Unokubathumela ii-DM ezintle. Kodwa ukuba abavumi okanye abakhathali ukuphendula loo miyalezo kananjalo, bayithatha kancinci iimvakalelo zakho. "

Ukuthatyathwa nje kancinci kuyityhefu kwimpilo-ntle yakho yengqondo nengokweemvakalelo. Kukwachaphazela kakubi ubudlelwane bakho. Geetarsh uthi: “Ihambo elolo hlobo isenokukwenza ungalithembi iqabane lakho, uvakalelwa kukuba, enoba wenza ntoni na, soze kubekho ukuphindiselana.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuthathelwa ingqalelo kuthetha ukuba kukho ukuthembana okukhulu, uzinzo, kunye nokuthuthuzela phakathi kwamaqabane, kangangokuba kungabikho olunye utyalo-mali olufunekayo kubudlelwane. Nangona oko kuyinto entle, amaqabane akafanele alibale ukubonisa uxabiso. Nokuba "enkosi" elula ihamba umgama omde. Ukuhloniphana, ukuthembana, nokuqonda ziimpawu zobudlelwane obuphilileyo. Ukuba iqabane lakho sele liqalile ukuziva linelungelo kwaye alibonisi mbulelo, yazi ukuba lithatha ubudlelwane njengento engenamsebenzi.

Ngoku ukuba uyasazi isizathu sokuba umntu akuthathe lula kunye neempawu zokuba omnye wakho obalulekileyo unokwenza okufanayo, usenokuba uyazibuza ukuba wenze ntoni. Geetarsh ucebisa oku: “Amaqabane afanele aqonde ukuba akukho thando nje kuphela kodwa kwanentlonelo nembopheleleko ehambisana nolwalamano.” Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba iqabane lakho lizithabatha lula izinto kulwalamano, ekuphela kwendlela yokulungisa iingxaki kukudlulisela iimvakalelo zenu nize nibabuze isizathu sokuziphatha ngolu hlobo.”

Xa iqabane lakho likuthatha lula, kwaye ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo kuye kwaba yityhefu kakhulu ukuba ungaphatha, cinga ngokwahlukana nabo. Akukho sizathu sokuhlala kubudlelwane apho ixesha lakho, imizamo, iingcinga, kunye nezimvo azixatyiswanga. Akukho mntu ufanele ukungahoywa, angaxatyiswa, okanye angahlonelwa kubudlelwane. Ukuba wonele ukuba iqabane lakho alinambulelo ngayo yonke into oyenzela lona, ​​yiyeke.

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