Ungakulungisa Kanjani Ukuntuleka Kokuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni - Amathiphu Ochwepheshe ayi-15

Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana ebudlelwaneni kungenye yezinkinga ezinkulu imibhangqwana ejwayele ukubhekana nazo. Kungase kubukeke njengokungeyona inkinga ekuqaleni kodwa, uma uvumela izinkinga ezibonakala zizincane ukuthi zikhule, zizogcina zibhebhethekise futhi zibe nomthelela omubi ubudlelwano. Ngakho-ke, kufanele uthole ukuthi ungalungisa kanjani ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni ngaphambi kokuthi kudale uqhekeko phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.

Ukuxhumana kubalulekile ebuhlotsheni obunempilo. Kufanele ukwazi ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho ngaphandle kokungabaza. Kuyasiza ukuxazulula izinkinga nezingxabano, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuqonda nokuxhumana nozakwenu ngezinga elijulile, elingokomzwelo. Kukusondeza kumlingani wakho, kuqinise ubuhlobo benu, futhi kukusize nikhule njengombhangqwana.

Uma ubhekene nezinkinga zokuxhumana, sivumele ukuthi sikusize. Sikhulume nomqeqeshi wezothando Geetarsh Kaur, umsunguli we-The Skill School, esisebenza ngokukhethekile ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuqinile, ukuqonda indlela yokulungisa ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni. Uphinde wacacisa ngezimbangela nemiphumela yokukhulumisana okubi futhi uma ubudlelwano bungasinda ngendlela efanayo.

Amathiphu angu-15 Ochwepheshe Wokulungisa Ukuntuleka Kokuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni

Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kungadala ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabalingani futhi kubahlukanise. Kungadala umonakalo futhi kubangele umonakalo ongalungiseki esibophweni owabelana ngaso nomlingani wakho. Khona-ke ubudlelwano buphenduka isizinda sokungabaza nokungazethembi. Kudala ukucasuka, kukwenza uzizwe unesizungu futhi ungabalulekile, futhi kuthinta ukusondelana ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni akumele futhi akufanele kushaywe indiva. I-Geetarsh uthi, “Ungakubalekeli ukukhulumisana.

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela izimpawu zokungakhulumisani okubi ebudlelwaneni. Ukugxekana njalo, ukukhanda ngamatshe, ukuzitika ngokuziphatha ngendlela enolaka, noma ukuzivikela kuyizimpawu eziyisixwayiso. Uma ungazimisele ukuyekethisa noma ukwenza imizamo yokuxazulula ukungqubuzana, lokho kuyinkomba yenkinga yokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni.

Ungakhathazeki. Ziningi izindlela zokubhekana nokuxhumana okubi ebudlelwaneni. Kungenzeka ukulungisa inkinga. Uma usesimweni esifanayo futhi uzibuza ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze lapho ungakwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho noma ukuthi ungalungisa kanjani ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni, lawa macebiso angu-15 angasiza:

1. Xoxisanani ngenkuthalo

Esinye sezinyathelo zokuqala okufanele uzigweme ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni kuwumkhuba wokuxhumana nomlingani wakho nsuku zonke. Akudingekile ukuthi kube ukuthinta okukhulu noma enye yalezo zingxoxo ezinkulu nsuku zonke. Izinto ezincane ezifana nokubabuza ukuthi belunjani usuku lwabo, ukushiya amanothi ukuze ubazise ukuthi wenzani, ukubahlola usuku lonke noma ukubabonga ngokuthile okuhle abakwenzele kona kwanele.

I-Geetarsh incoma ukuthi ugcine iziteshi zakho zokuxhumana zivuliwe. "Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzofika ekhaya sekwephuzile, uzibophezele emsebenzini ngomzuzu wokugcina noma kukhona iphathi okudingeka uye kuyona - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi injani, hlala uvulekile izintambo zokuxhumana. Thumela umlayezo, shayela umlingani wakho ucingo umazisa mayelana nokuthi ukuphi. Mhlole izikhathi ezimbalwa usuku lonke. Ngale ndlela, umlingani wakho ngeke angabaze ukuxhumana nawe," usho kanje.

Izobabonisa ukuthi uyabakhathalela futhi uyazicabangela izinkathazo nemizwa yabo. Ingakusiza xhumana nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Qala ngezinyathelo zomntwana - inkulumo encane noma ingxoxo elula ingcono kunokungakhulumi nhlobo. Uma ninethezeka kakhudlwana nomunye nomunye, ningaxoxa nangobuhlobo benu.

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2. Ungalungisa kanjani ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana ebudlelwaneni - Yiba isilaleli esihle

Ukungalaleli ukuthi umlingani wakho ufuna ukusho ukuthini kungesinye sezizathu ezinkulu zokungakhulumisani ebudlelwaneni. Udinga ukuba yisilaleli esihle uma ufuna ukwakha isiteshi sokuxhumana esinempilo nomlingani wakho. Ukukhulumisana akusho ukuthi umuntu oyedwa kuphela oqhubeka ekhuluma ngendlela azizwa ngayo. Kusho futhi ukulalela ngokucophelela lokho umlingani wakho afuna ukukusho futhi wamukele imizwa yakhe.

Uma wenqaba ukulalela umlingani wakho, uzophoqeleka ukuthi athule, okuzokwenza isimo sibe sibi kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi awubaphazamisi ngenkathi bekhuluma. Kungase kubenze bazizwe sengathi imibono yabo ayaziswa noma ayihlonishwa. Linda baze baqede bese uveza iphuzu lakho.

UGeetarsh uyachaza, “Abantu bathambekele ekubeni nekhono lokulalela eliphansi. Esikhathini esiningi, silalela ukuze sisabele futhi singaqondi. Kudingeka ube nozwela ngalokho okushiwo umngane wakho womshado, umlalele ngendlela efanele, ukusebenzise bese uphendula.”

3. Qaphela indlela yokunamathisela yomunye nomunye

Indlela yomuntu ngamunye yokuphatha noma yokubhekana nobudlelwano ihlukile. Ithiyori yokunamathisela eyakhiwe izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo uJohn Bowlby noMary Ainsworth ithi ukuqonda kwawo wonke umuntu ngobudlelwano nesitayela sokunamathisela kuncike futhi kulolongwa ukunakekelwa abakuthola eminyakeni yabo yokukhula. Isibopho esingokomzwelo esakhayo ingane nabanakekeli bayo abayinhloko sinomthelela omkhulu kusitayela sayo sokunamathela kamuva ekuphileni.

Uma omunye wenu ene- isitayela esingavikelekile sokunamathiselwe, kungenzeka ukuthi ukhulume ngenxa yokukhathazeka noma uzame ukuzivikela ngokugwema ingxoxo. Uma kunjalo, zama ukuqonda futhi uthole izindlela eziphephile zokuxhumana. Cishe ungathatha ikhefu lokucabanga noma ukuxhumana ngezingxenye, kancane kancane noma ngombhalo noma i-imeyili. Uma umlingani wakho enesitayela sokunamathisela esikhathazayo, khuluma naye ngendlela emenza azizwe ephephile futhi umqinisekise ngemizwa yakho.

Futhi, zama futhi uqonde ukuthi umlingani wakho uzizwa kanjani ngokuxhumana nokuthi uyini umbono wabo wokuxhumana. Uma bengaxhumani nawe, zama ukuthola isizathu esidala lokho. Xoxisanani ngayo futhi nibuze imibuzo njengoba izokusiza ukuthi nihlole izindlela zokuxhumana ngokwethembeka.

UGeetarsh uyachaza, "Zama ukuqonda nokucabangisisa ngesitayela sakho sokuxhumana. Iphutha lingase libe kuwe ngoba awuboni noma awuboni indlela yakho yokuxhumana - ingabe uklolodela umlingani wakho, ingabe uvame ukungamthandi noma umnikeze iseluleko. ukwelashwa buthule? Ingabe ucace ngokwanele? Ingabe uzwelana nezidingo zomlingani wakho noma uzikhohlisa nje ucabanga ukuthi wazi konke?”

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4. Vula futhi uthembeke ngemizwa yakho

Elinye icebiso elibaluleke kakhulu lendlela yokulungisa ukuntula kokukhulumisana ebudlelwaneni ukuphumela obala nokwethembeka nesithandwa sakho mayelana nemizwa yakho. Ukufihla imizwa noma ukuba sengozini kuyisizathu esikhulu sokuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni. Kuzodala kuphela ukucasuka nokungaqondi phakathi kozakwethu bobabili. Kufanele uthole izindlela zokuxhuma kabusha ngemuva kokulwa noma nizizwe nisondelene njengabalingani futhi enye indlela yokwenza lokho ukuqala ingxoxo eqotho.

Uma usothandweni, kufanele ukwazi ukwabelana ngazo zombili izingxenye zakho ezinhle nezimbi nomlingani wakho. Kufanele ukwazi ukuba sengozini noma imizwa futhi ubonise ubuthakathaka bakho engxenyeni yakho engcono. Noma ngabe inkulu noma incane kangakanani inkinga, ungalokothi uyishanele ngaphansi kwengubo. Uma kukhona okukukhathazayo, yisho. Ungazibambeli. Buza imibuzo.

Thembeka ngokuphelele ngemizwa nemibono yakho. Tshela umlingani wakho uma kukhona akwenzile okuphathe kabi noma kukhona okuthile ngawe noma ubudlelwano obona sengathi abulungile futhi budinga umsebenzi. Ayikho enye indlela yokukhuthaza ukuxhumana okuvamile ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle ko veza imizwa yakho kumuntu omthandayo.

U-Geetarsh uyalinganisela, “Ungacabangi ukuthi umlingani wakho ufuna ini noma akucabangayo. Khuluma futhi ucacise. Imibhangqwana yenza iphutha lokucabangela ukuthi umlingani wethu uzizwa kanjani ngesimo esithile futhi basamukele njengeqiniso ngaphandle kokuxhumana noma ukucacisa naye. Esikhundleni sokubhekana nenkinga, sithatha isimo esibi kakhulu futhi sifinyelele esiphethweni esibi kakhulu sobudlelwano.

5. Khetha isikhathi esifanele sokukhuluma

Iseluleko esibalulekile sendlela yokulungisa ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni ukwazi ukuthi kufanele ukhulume nini. Kuhlala kunesikhathi esifanele sokwenza yonke into futhi lokhu akukhona nje ukuphatha amashejuli. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisendaweni ekahle lapho nihlala phansi ukuze nixoxe. Akekho phakathi kwenu okufanele acasuke noma athukuthele ngaphandle kwalokho yonke inhloso yokuba nengxoxo iyanqotshwa.

"A iphutha lokuxhumana elivamile imibhangqwana yenza iwukungasitholi isikhathi esifanele sokukhuluma. Isikhathi sibalulekile ekuxhumaneni okwakhayo phakathi kwabalingani abasebudlelwaneni. Isikhathi esifanele singaholela ekuphenduleni okuhle kokukukhathazayo. Qaphela ulimi lomzimba. Uma umlingani wakho ematasa ngomsebenzi noma ejahile noma exakekile, kungase kungabi isikhathi esifanele sokukhuluma naye,” kusho uGeetarsh.

Ukukhuluma lapho noma yimuphi umlingani edlula imizwa eyeqisayo kungaba yingozi ekuxazululeni inkinga yokuntuleka kokukhulumisana ebuhlotsheni. Maningi amathuba okuthi ukhulume izinto ongaqondile. Imizwa yakho ingase ifihle ukusabela kwakho, yingakho ukukhetha isikhathi esifanele sokukhuluma kubaluleke kakhulu ukusiza ukuxhumana okunempilo.

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6. Misa imingcele

Ukungabi khona kwemingcele enempilo kungenye yezimpawu zokungakhulumisani okubi ebudlelwaneni. Imingcele ibalulekile ukuze ubambiswano luthuthuke. Bakusiza ukuthi uqonde futhi uhloniphe umlingani wakho kangcono, okungase kusebenze kuwe ngesikhathi sokulwa nezingxabano. Bazokwenza nizizwe nikhululeke kakhudlwana ngokuvulelana isifuba futhi basize ekugwemeni ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni.

Nokho, qiniseka ukuthi aweqisi kuyilapho ubeka imingcele njengoba lokho kungenza umlingani wakho azizwe ehlukanisiwe. Imingcele yobudlelwano obunempilo ingakusiza ukuba uthuthukise amakhono amahle okuxhumana, okuzokusiza ukuthi uqonde futhi uhloniphe umlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile, elingokomzwelo. Bazokusiza futhi ukuthi ugweme noma iluphi uhlobo lokungakhulumisani kahle noma ukungaqondi okungase kube khona.

Ngokusho kukaGeetarsh, "Imingcele idinga ukuchazwa kusukela ekuqaleni. Ngenkathi kuxoxwa, abantu bavame ukuhlukumeza noma ukuletha ukuhlukumezeka okudlule, okungase kuphumele ekuxhumaneni okungalungile. Udinga ukuchaza imingcele mayelana nesitayela sakho sokuxhumana. Uma uqhubeka nokwenza isikhala sokungaboni kahle ekukhulumisaneni kwakho, awusoze wakwazi ukulungisa ubuhlobo."

7. Ungalungisa kanjani ukuntula kokukhulumisana ebuhlotsheni - Bhekana nezinkinga ezingakaxazululwa

Izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe zingenye yezinkulu izimpawu zokungakhulumisani okubi ebudlelwaneni. Bavula indlela yezindaba zokwethembana, ukucasuka nokungahloniphi phakathi kozakwethu. Wena nophathina wakho ningase nithole kunzima ukuxhumana ngenxa yokungqubuzana okubuhlungu kwesikhathi esidlule okungakaxazululwa kuze kube manje.

Ngakho-ke yini okufanele uyenze lapho ungakwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho? Hhayi-ke, okokuqala, cubungula ubuhlungu obudlule kanye nokungqubuzana. Khulumani nikhulume. Hlunga izinkinga zakho ezedlule. Ukuze niqale ukuxhumana okuvamile ebudlelwaneni, kuzodingeka nithethelelane, nixazulule futhi nibeke izinkinga zenu ezidlule, futhi nakhe kabusha ukwethembana.

8. Linganisa phakathi kokulalela nokulalelwa

Ungakugwema kanjani ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni? Funda ukulinganisela. Nakuba kubalulekile ukuba isilaleli esikhuthele, kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukulalelwa. Ukuxhumana akuyona indlela eyodwa. Kuthatha ababili ku-tango, yingakho kufanele ulwele ukulinganisa phakathi kokulalela nokuzwakala. Lalela ukuthi umlingani wakho uthini kodwa futhi menze akulalele.

Lalela ukuthi umlingani wakho uthini kodwa futhi uqinisekise ukuthi ubeka imizwa nemibono yakho. Khumbula ukuthi uxoxa nophathina wakho, hhayi ukungenela umncintiswano noma inkulumo-mpikiswano okufanele uyiwine. “Uma njalo nigcina nilwa, nidlala umdlalo wokugxekana, ningalokothi nifinyelele esiphethweni esifanayo, futhi nilokhu nicabanga izindlela zokuwina noma ukululaza noma ukubukela phansi umlingani wakho, awusoze wakwazi ukusungula ukukhulumisana okuvamile ebuhlotsheni,” kusho uGeetarsh.

Zicabangele izidingo zomlingani wakho kodwa ungazinaki ezakho. Qondani imibono yomunye noma ngabe awuhambisani nayo. Nokho, uGeetarsh uphakamisa ukufinyelela esiphethweni enivumelana ngaso nobabili. “Qiniseka ukuthi isiphetho enifika kuso siyavumelana nani nobabili ngaphandle kwalokho sizodala izinkinga esikhathini esizayo.” Yonke inhloso yokuba nengxoxo iyahluleka uma omunye umlingani engagculisekile ngomphumela,” usho kanje.

9. Yenzani isikhathi somunye nomunye

NgokukaGeetarsh, esinye sezizathu ezinkulu zokuntuleka kokukhulumisana ebudlelwaneni ukuthi imibhangqwana ayichithi isikhathi esanele ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, ukuthatha isikhathi somunye kuyimpendulo eyodwa enkingeni yakho yokuthi 'okufanele ukwenze lapho ungakwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho'. Ukuchitha isikhathi ninomunye kuzokusondeza eduze, kukuvumela ukuba wehlise umoya, nabelane ngemicabango yenu, futhi nizizwe ninethezekile futhi nikhululeke kakhudlwana nindawonye. Nizozizwa nixhumene komunye nomunye, okwenza kube lula ukuxhumana.

Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana ebudlelwaneni ngokuvamile kubangelwa umuzwa wokungakhululeki nomlingani wakho. Ukuze ugweme isimo esinjalo, kumelwe nizinike isikhathi sobabili futhi nilungise ubuhlobo benu. Noma ngabe kuwukuzulazula ukungqubuzana noma ukuchitha isikhathi esihle ndawonye, ​​ukuba ndawonye kungaba ngcono ukuxhumana ebuhlotsheni ngokwezinga elikhulu ngoba kwakha indawo ephephile yokukhuluma nokukhula.

10. Sebenzisa izitatimende eziqala ngokuthi 'Mina' noma 'thina'

Ungalungisa kanjani ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni? Qonda umthelela amazwi akho angaba nawo kumlingani wakho. Indlela abalingani abakhuluma ngayo komunye nomunye yenza umehluko omkhulu. Imibhangqwana ivame ukuqala izingxoxo noma izingxabano ngokukhombana ngeminwe noma ukugxeka. Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi, inkulumo eyi-hyperbolic ingase ibangele ukungqubuzana okushubile esikhundleni sokuyixazulula.

Kuyancomeka ukuthi uqale izitatimende zakho ngokuthi 'Mina' noma 'Thina'. Isibonelo, esikhundleni sokuthi, “Awunaso isikhathi sami”, ungathi, “Ngiphatheka kabi uma ungasiniki isikhathi sami”. Isitatimende sangaphambili sithumela umlayezo wokuthi usola noma umsola ngokuthile, kanti esokugcina sigxile endleleni ozizwa ngayo.

UGeetarsh uthi, “Ngaso sonke isikhathi sebenzisa izinkulumo eziqala ngokuthi ‘thina’ ngoba kuwuphawu lokuthi ugxile ekuhlanganeni ndawonye.

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11. Hlukana nokungakhulumi

Lesi ngesinye sezimpawu ezinkulu zokungakhulumisani kahle ebudlelwaneni. Ukunikeza umlingani wakho impatho buthule akusona isixazululo kunoma iyiphi inkinga, kuhlanganise nokuntuleka ukuxhumana. Uma kungenjalo enye into, i-a khombisa ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuyinkimbinkimbi. Kuyoba-ke isizinda sokungaqondi, ukungazethembi kanye namagqubu. Kuyoba khona imizwa eminingi evalekile kanye nokuntula ukwethembana nenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni okuphoqa bobabili abalingani ukuba baqhelelane.

Uma umlingani wakho enze into ekucasule noma ekucasule, thatha isikhashana ukuze wehlise umoya. Kodwa ungayigwemi ingxoxo noma uyeke ukukhuluma nabo ngoba uthukuthele. Kuzokwenza kuphela umlingani wakho azizwe ehlukanisiwe futhi athumele umlayezo wokuthi noma yiluphi uhlobo lwenkulumo evela ekugcineni luzophumela ekubeni uvale yonke imigqa yokuxhumana naye.

Ukuphathwa buthule kubhekwa njengefulegi elikhulu elibomvu lokuntuleka kokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni. Ungakusebenzisi njengendlela yokujezisa umlingani wakho. Bhekana nenkinga esikhundleni. Dlulisa imizwa yakho kumlingani wakho. Xoxisanani nithole isixazululo esinisebenzela nobabili.

12. Bheka imizwa yakho kuqala

Esinye iseluleko sendlela yokulungisa ukuntula kokukhulumisana ebudlelwaneni ukuthi uqale uqonde futhi ucubungule imizwa yakho. Uma kunenkinga noma isithandwa sakho senze into ongayithandanga, hlehla uqonde ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngaso sonke isikhathi. Zama ukuzehlisa futhi ulawule imizwa yakho.

Uma ungena engxoxweni uthukuthele, maningi amathuba okuthi usho izinto ongaqondile futhi wenze isimo sibe sibi. Lawula intukuthelo yakho kungenjalo ingxoxo izoshuba. Maningi amathuba okuthi ingase iphume ingalawuleki. Esimeni esinjalo, ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana kuba yinkinga ngoba bobabili abalingani bathukuthele kakhulu ukuthi bangakhulumisana futhi bathole isixazululo esinempilo.

13. Nakisisa izimpawu ezingakhulumi

Njengabantu, asikhulumi ngamazwi kuphela kodwa nangomzimba wethu. Nakuba kubalulekile ukulalela lokho umlingani wakho afuna ukukusho, u-Geetarsh unomuzwa wokuthi kubalulekile ngokulinganayo ukunaka ulimi lomzimba wakhe futhi athathe izimpawu ezingasho lutho nokuziphatha. Kungaba inkomba enkulu yesimo sabo sengqondo nemizwa.

Ozakwethu ngezinye izikhathi bangase bakuthole kunzima ukuxhumana noma ukuveza imizwa yabo ngamazwi. NgokukaGeetarsh, “Kungenzeka ukuthi azichazeki ngokwemvelo noma izinkulumo zazo azikaze zamukelwe, okusho ukuthi udinga ukuzenzela indawo ephephile futhi ubenze bazizwe bekhululekile ngokwanele ukwabelana nawe ngemizwa yabo.”

Lapha ulimi lomzimba kanye neqhaza lalo ebudlelwaneni obunempilo ngena ukudlala. Izimpawu nokuziphatha okungakhulumi kuhlanganisa isimo sobuso, ukubheka emehlweni kanye nephimbo - konke lokhu okubonisa indlela umlingani wakho akubona ngayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngesikhathi sengxabano noma ngenye indlela. Ukuthatha lezi zimpawu ezingasho lutho kungavala igebe lokuxhumana phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.

Kuzokusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani futhi nini nomlingani wakho. Kuzokusiza futhi ukuthi uvimbele ukungqubuzana ukuthi kungaqhubeki kubi nakakhulu. Kodwa, ngokusobala, ungumuntu futhi uyakwazi ukwehlulela kabi izimpawu zolimi lomlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi ubuza imibuzo futhi ucacise uma umlingani wakho ebonisa izimpawu zokungabi nasithakazelo noma ezinolaka ebudlelwaneni. Babuze ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngale kwalokho kuzoholela ekungezwani.

14. Zijwayeze uthando nobubele

Usalwa nenkinga yokuthi 'ungenzani uma ungakwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho'? Awu, thola izindlela zokubonisa uthando kumlingani wakho. Ukuba nothando nozwelo kumlingani wakho kuzomenza azizwe ethandwa, ehlonishwa futhi ehlonishwa. Bangase bazizwe benethezekile eduze kwakho futhi bagcine sebekuvulela isifuba.

Ukubona uthando lwakho nokubanakekela kuzobasiza ukuthi baxhumane nawe ezingeni elijulile futhi benze ukwabelana ngemicabango yomuntu siqu, ngaleyo ndlela, bavule imigudu yokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni. Ukubonisa uthando nobubele kufanele kube umkhuba ovamile ebuhlotsheni obunempilo. Akuyona into oyenzayo kuphela ukuze uxazulule izindaba futhi ulungise phakathi nengxabano. Ukuba nothando kuyindlela yokubonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi umthanda kangakanani. Ngeke kuthuthukise ukuxhumana kuphela kodwa futhi kuzokusiza ukuthi nikhule njengombhangqwana.

UGeetarsh uthi, “Ungafaki amabala noma ulahle imizwa yomlingani wakho.Ungasho amazwi anjengokuthi “Bengicabanga ukuthi ungumuntu ohlakaniphile kodwa waphenduka isiphukuphuku” noma “Wenza isiphukuphuku” noma “Ungazenzi isilima.” Ungayibukeli phansi imicabango nemibono yophathina wakho. Yiba nozwela kuye. Lokho okubonakala kuwubuwula kakhulu kumlingani wakho kodwa kungase kubonakale kuwubuwula kakhulu kumlingani wakho.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imibuzo engu-20 okufanele uyibuze umlingani wakho ukuze akhe ukusondelana ngokomzwelo

15. Ungakulungisa kanjani ukuntula ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni - Zama ukwelapha

Uma yonke imizamo yokusungula ukuxhumana okuvamile ebudlelwaneni ingaphumeleli, funa usizo lochwepheshe. Ungazama kokubili ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye noma kwabashadile. Ukufuna isiqondiso sochwepheshe akusho ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho sebuzophela noma ususothandweni onqenqemeni lokuhlukana. Uzomangala uhlobo lokucaciswa okuvela eceleni olungakunikeza, ikakhulukazi uma lowo muntu wesithathu enguchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe oqeqeshelwe ukubhekana nezinkinga ezinjalo.

Bazokwazi ukubheka izinkinga zakho ngendlela engachemi futhi engakhethi futhi banikeze indawo ephephile kanye nesiqondiso sokukusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi ungakugwema kanjani ukuntula ukuxhumana ebuhlotsheni. Bazokusiza ukuthi usebenze ebuhlotsheni bakho futhi uthole isixazululo esinisebenzela nobabili.

Izinkinga zokuxhumana zingavela noma nini ebudlelwaneni. Umelaphi angakusiza uqonde umsuka wenkinga futhi aphakamise izindlela zokuphinda uqalise inkhulumomphendvulwano eyakhayo phakathi kobudlelwano. Uma ubambekile esimweni esifanayo, ungakwazi ukufinyelela kuso njalo Iphaneli ye-Bonobology yabelaphi abanolwazi nabanelayisensi Ukuze uthole usizo.

Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obuqinile. Ngaphandle kwakho, ubambiswano ngeke lusaba khona. Ukuziveza kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza, ngokuqinisekile. Kodwa cabanga ngakho. Kuningi ongabelana ngakho ngawe futhi ukwazi ngomlingani wakho ngokuxhumana okuvamile ebudlelwaneni. Phela kusizani ukuba nomuntu uma ungakhululekile ukukhuluma naye ngemicabango nemizwa yakho, akunjalo?

Izinto ngeke zishintshe ngokuphazima kweso. Kuzodingeka usebenze kukho nsuku zonke. Kodwa uma ufaka umzamo, kuwuphawu lokuthi ufuna ubuhlobo busebenze. Uma umlingani wakho ekwazi ukubona lowo mzamo, uzokwazi ukuthi ukuwo isikhathi eside. Kungase kubenze bahambe ibanga elide futhi basebenzele ukulungisa igebe lokuxhumana.

Sengikushilo lokho, uma kungekho neyodwa imizamo yakho eveze imiphumela, kungaba umqondo omuhle ukwenza kanjalo qeda ubudlelwano kahle. Kuyinto engenzeka ukuthi abalingani abahambisani nomunye nomunye. Uma ungenaso isixazululo esibonakalayo, kungcono ukukuyeka kunokuhlupheka futhi ungajabuli.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.