17 Okungaxoxiswana Ngayo Ebudlelwaneni Akumele Ungalokothi Wehle Kuzo

Ingabe ubudlelwano abukona nje ukuyekethisa? Akukhona yini lokho ebesilokhu sikwazi? Uma uzithola usengxoxweni eshisayo ne-SO yakho, udabukile phakathi kokuma noma ukudedela okufunayo, yini okufanele uyenze ngempela? Ingabe uthola indawo ephakathi noma uzimele? Ukuqwashisa ngezinto ezingaxoxiswana ebudlelwaneni kungakusiza ukuthi uphume kule nkinga futhi uthole ukulingana phakathi kokulwa nokudedela.

Phela, yilokho okushiwo ubudlelwano obuphumelelayo - kumnandi futhi buhle, kodwa futhi kuwumsebenzi wokuthola ibhalansi. Ziwumdanso omuhle phakathi kokugubha ukuhlangana kuyilapho ulondoloza ubuntu bakho; ukuyekethisa kuyilapho unemingcele ethile enganyakaziswa; ukuthanda umlingani wakho kodwa futhi uzithanda wena. 

Ukuze siqonde kangcono ukuthi lokho kulinganisela okunempilo kubukeka kanjani, sixoxe nodokotela wengqondo olulekayo uShivangi Anil (onguchwepheshe kwi-Clinical Psychology), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngaphambi komshado, ukuhambisana, kanye nokwelulekwa kwemingcele. Ukhulume nathi ngokubaluleka kokuqaphela imingcele yakho, ukuthi le mingcele ingase ibukeke kanjani, kanye namathiphu okudala lolu hlu lwezinto ezingaxoxiswana ngazo ebudlelwaneni. Ake siluthathe ngalunye ngalunye.

Buyini Ubudlelwano Obungaxoxiswana?

Cabanga ngalokhu: Ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa nisebuhlotsheni obusha, ninquma ukuhlala ndawonye . Nijabule kakhulu. Niyamethemba lo muntu. Bese kuthi ngolunye usuku ekuseni, nivuke nizwa umsindo omkhulu kodwa ocijile. Niyahamba ngezitebhisi nithole umlingani wenu ehleli phansi embuthanweni nabanye abantu abayishumi, kulokho enicabanga ukuthi kuyinkolo kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi kwakuyiseshini yokuhlabelela i-mantra yasekuseni. Akukho engingakwenza, mnumzane! - uzitshela. Kukuleso simo, nibona omunye wemisebenzi yenu eningenakuxoxisana ngayo. “Kumelwe. Hhayi. Yiba. Okholwayo”

Futhi yilokho! Yilokho okungaxoxiswana ngakho. UShivangi uthi, “Okungaxoxiswana ngayo kuwumugqa phakathi kokuthile okwamukelekayo noma okungamukeleki ebudlelwaneni; okungaxoxiswana ngakho kuyingqayizivele kubo bonke ubuhlobo futhi kuthonywa izimo zomuntu siqu kanye nezinkambiso zomphakathi.” 

Ngakho-ke, uma usuzitholile izinkinga zakho, ingabe usulungele ukuphila? Umm. Cha. “Njengoba ukhula, le mingcele yobudlelwano nayo iyashintsha. Iyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi,” kusho uShivangi. Uhlu lwakho lwezinto ezingaxoxiswana ngazo lushintsha njengoba nawe unjalo. Ngokufanayo, uhlu lwakho lungashintsha njengoba ubudlelwano buqhubeka. Okungase kungabi yinto ongayixoxisana ngayo namuhla ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungase ube nokuguquguquka kakhulu ngekusasa njengoba uqala ukuthemba umlingani wakho kakhulu. Futhi lokho kulungile!

Kungani ubudlelwane obungaxoxisana bubaluleke kangaka?

"Kubalulekile ukuthi kube nemingcele okungaxoxiswana ngayo ebudlelwaneni obubucayi ngoba iwumugqa phakathi kwalokho okwamukelekayo nokungamukeleki. Imingcele ibalulekile ebudlelwaneni obunempilo ngoba inikeza uzinzo. Yiyo eyenza ubudlelwano buqhubeke," kusho uShivangi. Kanjani ngempela? Usisize ngezibonelo ezimbalwa futhi wabeka izindlela ezilandelayo ukuba nokungaxoxiswana ebudlelwaneni okungakusiza. 

• Amandla ne-ejensi: Umngcele othi “Ngizoqhubeka nokusebenza ngemva komshado nokubeletha” uvumela i-ejensi yowesifazane phezu kobunikazi bakhe nempilo yakhe yobungcweti
• Inhlonipho: Umngcele onjengokuthi “Ngeke silwe phambi kwabanye” noma “Ngeke ungiphikisa phambi kwabazali bakho” uqinisekisa ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakuhlonipha
• Umuzwa wokuphepha: Okuthile njengokuthi "Ngizizwa ngingakhululekile ngokuqabula esidlangalaleni, sicela sikukhawulele ekamelweni lokulala" kuvumela bobabili ozakwethu ukuthi bazizwe bephephile. Noma "Ngeke silale sithukuthele" kuvumela imibhangqwana ukuba ingabi njalo esaba ukulahlwa futhi uzizwe usekelwe lapho uzulazula ukungqubuzana
•  Indlela yokufeza izidingo zakho zomuntu ngamunye: Umngcele ofana nokuthi “Sizohlangana nabangane bethu ngabanye sisodwa okungenani kanye ngenyanga” uvumela bobabili ozakwethu ukuthi balondoloze ubungane bomuntu ngamunye futhi bafeze isidingo sabo sokuxhumana nabantu.

Sekukonke, okungaxoxiswana ngakho kuvumela wena nozakwenu inhlonipho, ukuphepha, kanye nesikhala esivumayo sokukhula.

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17 Okungaxoxiswana Ngayo Ebudlelwaneni Akumele Ungalokothi Wehle Kuzo

Ezinye zezinto ezingaxoxiswana ngazo ebudlelwaneni zizohlala zihlukile kuwe. Uzothola zona njengoba uqhubeka uthandana, wakha izibopho, uwela ngobuso, futhi uziqonda kangcono. Nakuba ezinye izinto eziningi ezingaxoxiswana ngazo zivamile phakathi kwemibhangqwana eminingi, njengesisekelo sobuhlobo obunempilo - uhlu lwezimfanelo zobudlelwano obuqaphile.

Ngakho-ke, yiziphi izibonelo zokungaxoxiswana ebuhlotsheni? Nalu uhlu. Zizwe ukhululekile ukulahla noma yini engahambisani nawe noma ebonakala sengathi into ongenankinga nokuyekethisa ngayo, futhi uthathe lokho ongakwenza. Sethemba ukuthi lolu hlu luzokusiza ukuthi uthole abaphula isivumelwano futhi uzivikele ekuphoxekeni nasekunyatheleni imingcele.

1. Kumele kube nokuhloniphana

Uma ungibuza ukuthi ufunani ebudlelwaneni, impendulo yami yokuqala kungaba inhlonipho. Uma uzithola usothandweni lapho ucasulwa yisithandwa sakho, imibono yakho ihlezi ishaywa indiva, imizwa yakho ichithwa, futhi kwephulwa imingcele yakho, ucabanga ukuthi ubuhlobo buyohlala isikhathi esingakanani? Uma kwenzeka, angeke kube ubuhlobo obujabulisayo ngokuqinisekile. 

Awukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obuhle uma kungekho nhlonipho ngomuntu umlingani wakho ayiye, izinto azithandayo, kanye nokukhetha kwakhe empilweni. Abanye, njengami, bangaqhubeka bathi inhlonipho ngomlingani wakho ibaluleke kakhulu kunothando ngaye. Ukumthanda ngalokho ayikho, ukwazisa ukuba khona kwakhe empilweni yakho, nokuzizwa ubonga ngokubabiza ngokuthi owakho yilokho uthando oluyikho, akunjalo? Yilokho okushiwo inhlonipho futhi kufanele kube yinto encane oyidingayo ebudlelwaneni bakho.

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2. Ubungalahleka ngaphandle kokwethenjwa

Izibopho eziqine kakhulu zingabhidlika ngaphansi kwesisindo sokungaqiniseki nokungabaza. Ufuna umlingani wakho abe yinsika yamandla. Umuntu ongamethemba ngamehlo avaliwe. Awufuni ukukhathazeka ngokuthi uzosigcina yini isithembiso sakhe, ukuthi uyakukusekela noma cha, ukuthi ngeke akulimaze yini. Yingakho, ukwethembana kuyinto ebalulekile kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano, futhi ukuqonda izingxenye zokuthembana kungasiza umbhangqwana ukuthi uhambe ibanga elide.

Into eyodwa ethokozisayo okumele siyiqaphele lapha ukuthi wonke la maphuzu, ikakhulukazi lawo angaxoxiswana ayisisekelo, asebenza ngokuhambisana. Amathuba ukuthi uma uphuthelwa oku-2-3 ebudlelwaneni bakho, kungenzeka ukuthi uphuthelwa okwengeziwe. Isibonelo, uma uthola ukuthi umlingani wakho ukuqambele amanga, ngeke nje uzwe ubuhlungu, uzizwa ungahlonishwa. Noma uma umhlonipha umuntu wakho, awufuni ukumqambela amanga. Ubungabethemba ukuthi bayakuqonda obhekene nakho. 

3. Kumele uzizwe uphephile ebudlelwaneni bakho 

Uma usibuze mayelana noku-3 okungaxoxiswana ngakho ebudlelwaneni, kungaba - inhlonipho, ukwethembana, nokuphepha. Kuyilungelo eliyinhloko lomuntu lokuzizwa ephephile, elondekile, futhi ekhululekile ekulimaleni kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, noma ngokwengqondo. Bobabili abalingani kufanele bavikele inhlalakahle yomunye nomunye. Qiniseka ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bukhululekile kulokhu okulandelayo:

• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nobudlova 
• Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo
• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi
• Ukuxhaphaza nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomqondo
• Ukwesaba ukwahlulela
• Ukwesaba ukujeziswa
• Ukwesaba ukulahlwa

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4. Kufanele kube nomkhuba wokuxhumana 

Akukho okungake kusebenze kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano, hhayi nje ubudlelwano bothando, uma abantu bengaxhumani ngezinto. Eqinisweni, endabeni yobudlelwano obuningi obusebenzayo kubo, siqamba amasu anemininingwane ukuze siqinisekise ukuxhumana okusebenzayo. Cabanga ngendawo yobungcweti. Izindlela ezinjalo zendlela yokukhulumisana ngezinto - imihlangano evamile, ukukhishwa kwamamemo, ulimi oluhleliwe olucatshangelwe kahle, "ukuxhumana okusemthethweni" okuvela kumphathi. Kuphela uma sinake lolu hlobo lokunaka ubudlelwano bethu bothando! 

Kodwa akukephuzi kakhulu. Uma uzithola udonsa kanzima kunoma iyiphi yalezi zindlela ezilandelayo, thatha izinyathelo ezisebenzayo zokuyilungisa:

• Beka phambili ukugcina umlingani wakho enolwazi ngezinto ukuze nobabili nibe sekhasini elilodwa
• Hlaziyanani ngokwenzeka ezimpilweni zenu
• Khuluma njalo ngezidingo zakho ezishintshayo, izifiso, kanye nemingcele
• Yakha indawo ephephile engenakwahlulela yezingxoxo
• Gxila ku ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana okunempilo 
• Zijwayeze ukulalela ngokugcwele, ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka
• Kwenze kube lula ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho

5. Ukwethembeka! Ukwethembeka! Ukwethembeka!

Ukwethembeka kuyimfuneko ngokuphelele ekusimamiseni ubudlelwano. Ukwethembana kwakhiwe ngokuboniswa njalo kokuziphatha okuqotho. Ukwethenjwa okulahlekile kwakhiwa kabusha ngokubonisa ukwethembeka okungaphezi, ngokuvamile okunzima. Eqinisweni, umuntu ubengeke azizwe ephephile ebuhlotsheni uma engakwazi ukuphumula eqiniseka ukuthi umlingani wakhe ngeke amqambele amanga noma amkhohlise. 

Lesi yindawo enhle yokuphakamisa umbuzo wokungathembeki, ikakhulukazi ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo. Uyazi, ocwaningweni lwabantu abadala baseBrithani abayi-1,600, ama-44% athi ukwakha ubuhlobo obungokomzwelo nomunye umuntu nakho kusho ukukopela? Yilokho abantu abafuna ukuba sesimweni esifanayo nabalingani babo. Ubudlelwano obungenabo umlingani oyedwa ngokokuziphatha busebenza kahle kakhulu kulesi simiso. “Ukube bengikwazi, ukube bengingazi ukuthi ngikhohlisiwe noma ngiqanjiwe, ukube ubethembekile nje, bengingeke ngizizwe ngiyisiwula,” kusho umngane wami owahlukana nomlingani wakhe okhohlisayo wake wangitshela, “Bengingase ngivume.”

6. Udinga imingcele yomuntu siqu

Awukwazi ukuba munye nomlingani wakho ngokulahlekelwa nguwe. Akukhona lokho okushiwo “imizimba emibili, umphefumulo owodwa”. Abanye abantu abakuzungezile bangakwenza uzizwe sengathi kuwubugovu ukucabanga ngezidingo zakho, izinto ozithandayo, isikhala sakho , kanye nesikhathi sakho. Kodwa, ukuba nendawo yokukhulisa ubuntu bakho, kukuvumela ukuthi ulethe okungcono kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho, okuthinta kahle ubuhlobo bakho.

Udinga kakhulu lolu hlobo lokungaxoxiswana emshadweni lapho imingcele yakho ingephulwa khona kalula. UShivangi naye uthi, “Kufanele ube nemingcele mayelana nokuthi ubani ofinyelela indawo yakho yomuntu siqu, ukuthi uthanda kanjani indawo yakho ebonakalayo, noma izinqumo zansuku zonke ozenzayo.” Nazi ezinye izibonelo:

• Indawo ebonakalayo: “Imfuhlumfuhlu ingenza ngikhathazeke. Singacela sihlanze ekupheleni kosuku?”
• Isikhathi somuntu siqu: “Ngingathanda ukuthatha uhambo lwami lwakusihlwa ngedwa” 
• Umsebenzi womuntu siqu: “Ngidinga ihora lami lokuluka. Kuyangiphumuza”
• Ukukhetha komuntu siqu: “Angifuni uku-oda endaweni eyodwa wena qhubeka ngizokuthola engifuna ukukudla”

7. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni babantu abalinganayo kuyilungelo lakho

Ubudlelwano bakho kufanele bube ubudlelwano obulinganayo ukuze eziningi zalezi zinto zisebenze. Uma izidingo zomlingani wakho zenzeka zibaluleke kakhulu kunezakho, ulindele ukugxila kanjani ekukhuleni kwakho siqu? Uma uhlezi ucosha ngemuva komlingani wakho, esikhundleni sokuzicabangela wena, ungasitholaphi isikhathi sami? 

Kunjalo nangemibono yakho kanye nokukhetha kwakho. Bheka lokhu njengento engaxoxiswana ngayo emshadweni — “Sizokwabelana ngomthwalo wemfanelo olinganayo, sizoba nezwi elilinganayo.” Phela, ukuzizwa ubalulekile ebudlelwaneni kufanele kube yindinganiso ephansi kakhulu. Ubudlelwano obugxile ekukhuthazeni ukulingana buwubudlelwano obuqinile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

8. Nquma ukuthi uthanda ukuthintwa kanjani

Imingcele ezungeze ukuthintana ngokomzimba, ukusondelana ngokomzimba , kanye nocansi ibalulekile. UShivangi uthi, “Izinto ezingaxoxiswana ngazo mayelana nokuthintana zimayelana nokuthi ukhetha ukuthintwa kuphi, nini, nokuthi kanjani ngumlingani wakho. Ngokufanayo, imingcele yezocansi imayelana nokuthi nini, kuphi, kanye nohlobo luni lwezenzo zocansi ozivumayo. Isenzo socansi esingaxoxiswana ngaso singaba ukugcizelela ekusebenziseni ukuzivikela noma ukwenqaba ucansi lwendunu.”

Cabanga ngalokhu eside futhi kanzima njengomunye non-negotiable yakho ekupholeni. Uthanda ukuthintwa kanjani? Futhi kuphi? Ingabe ulungile ngothando lomzimba esidlangalaleni? Prakthiza imvume mayelana nokusondelana ngokocansi, ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwekamelo lokulala. Akuxoxiswana ngakho. Isikhathi.

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9. Ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo - Isidingo esingokwemvelo ebudlelwaneni obuseduze

Sonke silwa izimpi ngazinye, noma ngabe sizungezwe abantu abangaki. Ngandlela thize noma enye sigcina sifuna ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo kwabalingani bethu. Ezikhathini lapho sikhathele yizinkinga zethu, silindele ukuba baqonde, babeke indlebe, basize lapho kudingeka usizo, banikeze ihlombe ukuze bakhale, basijabulele, bahlanganyele umthwalo, banikeze iseluleko lapho kudingeka iseluleko, njll. Lezi ezinye zezinto eziyisisekelo ezilindelwe. 

Kulungile ukubeka phambili lokho okudingayo kumlingani wakho ngezikhathi zokucindezeleka. Cabanga ngokuthi amagama athi “ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo” asho ukuthini kuwe, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uyakuthola ebuhlotsheni bakho. 

10. Ukuba nezindinganiso ezifanayo kuyikhwalithi ebalulekile

Yebo, izinto eziphambene ziyakhanga. Kodwa udinga izinto ezifanayo ezindinganisweni eziyisisekelo. Izindinganiso yilokho umuntu akubheka njengokubalulekile futhi okunenjongo empilweni. Zisebenza njengekhampasi yokuziphatha futhi zisiza ekuqondiseni izinqumo zakho. Yingakho izindinganiso zakho eziyinhloko kudingeka zivumelane . Ebudlelwaneni obuhle, imibhangqwana ixhumana ngalezi zindinganiso, ukuze ikwazi ukwenza ukuvumelana ezindabeni ezincane.

Isibonelo, uma incazelo yakho neyomlingani wakho yokukopela ifana, ubungeke ushiywe nobubanzi bokungaqondi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma nobabili nizizwa ngendlela ehlukile ngemibuzo efana nokuthi, “Ingabe kulungile ukuqamba amanga ukuze uphephise othile imizwa yakhe?”, omunye wenu angase agcine elimaza omunye.  

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11. Okubaluleke ngokufanayo izinkolelo ezifanayo

Lokhu kusiletha ephuzwini elilandelayo. Izinkolelo! Izinkolelo ziyimicabango, imibono, kanye nezinkolelo esizihlonipha kakhulu. Akhiwa yilokho esike sabhekana nakho, isizinda samasiko, indlela esikhuliswe ngayo, njll. Lokhu kungaba izinkolelo zezombangazwe, zenkolo noma zokuziphatha. Izinkolelo zithonywa izindinganiso, ngakho-ke, njengezindinganiso, uma izinkolelo zakho zehluke kakhulu kwezakwakho, zingaba umthombo wokungqubuzana empilweni yakho yonke. 

Lokhu kungaba yinto eqinile kakhulu engaxoxiswana ngayo ebudlelwaneni. Isibonelo, “Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani, angikwazi ukuba nomnikazi wesibhamu.” Ungacabanga ngemingcele yakho ezungeze izinkolelo, nokuthi yini ongayenza noma ongakwazi ukuyenza ngokuvumelana nayo. UShivangi uthi, “Ungase ungabi nezinkolelo zenkolo ezifanayo nezomlingani wakho, kodwa ungavumelana nezinkolelo ezihlukene ezingokomoya ezikuzungezile, ngaphandle kokuphoqeleka ukuba uzilandele. Noma kulungile uma lokhu kungaphezu kwamandla akho.” Into enemingcele ukuthi, wena unquma ukuthi yini ephula ubuhlobo bakho.

12. Ukwabelana ngezinjongo ezifanayo zesikhathi eside kungenza ukuphila kube lula

Akudingeki ukuba ube “nomgomo”, njengoba besho, ukuze ucabange ngemigomo. Imigomo akudingekile ukuba ibe impumelelo, indlu, imoto, noma umsebenzi. Yini efika engqondweni yakho lapho ucabanga ngemigomo yakho yesikhathi eside? Ngicabanga ngezinto ezifana nalezi:

• Ngiyazifuna izingane? Mhlawumbe akunjalo
• Ngifuna ukuhlala kuphi? Mhlawumbe edolobheni eliseduze namagquma
• Ingabe ngifuna ukubeka phambili ukuthuthukiswa kochwepheshe kunokuba ngibe nomndeni wami? Uma kudingeka
• Kuzobaluleka kangakanani ukufaneleka kwami ​​​​kumina? Kuningi
• Ingabe ngiyazibona ngeso lengqondo nginakekela abazali bami lapho sebegugile? Yebo

Izimpendulo zemibuzo efana nalena ezingaba yimbangela yokungavumelani kwakho. Nakuba, nginomuzwa wokuthi, izimpendulo zalezi zingashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Imigomo yethu yobudlelwano besikhathi eside kanye nemigomo yokuphila iyashintsha, noma siba nezimo eziguquguqukayo ngayo. Uma konke okunye kuhamba kahle nomlingani wakho, akuwona umqondo omuhle ukuhamba ngezindlela ezihlukene ngoba nje ufuna ukuthatha umhlalaphansi edolobheni kuyilapho umlingani wakho efuna ukubuyela epulazini labo lobuntwana. Awazi ukuthi nobabili kini nizozizwa kanjani eminyakeni embalwa ezayo, ingasaphathwa eyokuthatha umhlalaphansi.

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13. Indlela oyisebenzisa ngayo imali yakho ingaba yinto ebalulekile okungaxoxiswana ngayo

I-coupledom iza nokuhlanganiswa okungenakugwemeka kwezimali. Manje, kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kokuthi, “Imali yami yimali yakho”, kanye nokubona ukuthi imali oyilondolozile isetshenziswa kokuthile okungavumelani nawe. Amanani ezezimali angalungile kanye nokuhlukumezeka kwemali okuvela kukho kungaba yinkinga ephazamisa kakhulu. Sonke sidinga ukuzizwa sikhululekile ngendlela imali yethu esetshenziswa ngayo. 

Uma kukhulunywa ngokuthola ukuzinza kwezezimali, yiziphi ezinye zezibonelo zezinto ezingaxoxiswana ngazo ebudlelwaneni? UShivangi uthi, “Kumayelana nendlela abantu abaphatha ngayo imali yabo nokuthi bakhetha ukwabelana ngayo nobani.” Ukuze kucace, ake sibheke ezinye zezibonelo zemingcele yezezimali. Lezi zibonelo zingasiza umbhangqwana ukugwema ukungqubuzana kwezezimali emshadweni.

• Ngingathanda ukuqhubeka nokuba ne-akhawunti yokulondoloza ezimele
• Ukweseka abazali bami ngokwezimali kuwumthwalo wami futhi ngizoqhubeka ngikwenza lokho ngemva komshado
• Ngizizwa ngikhululekile ukulondoloza okungenani u-20% womholo wami esikhwameni sezimo eziphuthumayo 
• Angizizwa ngikhululekile ukutshala imali ku-cryptocurrency
• Nginobudlelwano obubuhlungu nokugembula. Angikwazi ukubekezelela ukugembula okuvamile nokubheja ngezikhathi ezithile

14. Abalingani kumele basekelane ukukhula komunye nomunye

Ngibhale kabusha ukuthi “kufanele ngisekele” kuthi “kumele ngisekele”. Futhi yilokho okungaxoxiswana ngakho. Isinyathelo esisuka kokuthi “kufanele” siye kokuthi “kufanele”. Imibono yakho mayelana nokuthi lolu xhaso lubukeka kanjani ingashintsha, kodwa akukho ukushaya endaweni ngale. Abalingani abasebudlelwaneni kufanele babheke ngalé kwezithakazelo zabo futhi basizane bakhanye ngokusemandleni abo. Nazi ezinye izindlela ozakwethu abangakwenza ngazo lokho:

• Bona iminikelo yomunye nomunye, amandla, kanye nezimpumelelo
• Nikeza amazwi esikhuthazo nokudumisa
• Bonisa ukukholelwa emakhonweni abo
• Siza ozakwethu ukuthi bafinyelele izinsiza - ezezimali, eziphathekayo, noma ezokuthutha. Isibonelo, ukubamba inqaba lapho bengasekho noma bematasatasa
• Gubha ama-milestone nabo 
• Zibekele imigomo futhi uhole ngesibonelo
• Nakekelani impilo yomunye nomunye engokomzimba, engokomzwelo, neyengqondo

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungawasebenzisa Kanjani Amagama Okuqinisekisa Njengolimi Lothando?

15. Ukuba yizinto eziza kuqala komunye nomunye kubalulekile

Ubuhlobo besikhathi eside busebenza lapho abantu ababili bezibophezela ekwenzeni omunye nomunye abe ngowabo kuqala. Lokhu kubonisa uthando lwakho, inhlonipho, kanye nokuzibophezela kwakho ebuhlotsheni. Wakha isibopho esiqinile ngokomzwelo nabo, okwenza kube lula ukubhekana nobunzima nobunzima bobuhlobo. Isibonelo, uma usemshadweni lapho umlingani wakho esondelene kakhulu nomndeni wakhe, lokhu kungase kungazwakali kuwe. Kuwe, ukushiya nokuhlukanisa imingcele kungaba yinto ebalulekile engaxoxiswana ngayo.

16. Wonke umuntu udinga ubumfihlo!

Uma wakhulela emndenini omkhulu, kungenzeka ukuthi ubufisa ubumfihlo impilo yakho yonke. Noma ungase ujabulele ukwabelana ngendawo nabanye abantu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uwubheka kanjani umngcele phakathi kothando nobumfihlo , kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngakho nomuntu omthandayo bese nifinyelela esisekelweni esiphakathi mayelana nokuthi ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo bomunye nomunye kuzosho ukuthini ebudlelwaneni benu.

UShivangi uthi, "Izinto okungaxoxiswana ngazo mayelana nemfihlo kungase futhi kube mayelana nokuthi ubani okwazi ukufinyelela izinto zakho ezibonakalayo. Umngcele oyimfihlo ovamile awekho amafoni okuhlola noma ukucela i-imeyili noma amaphasiwedi enkundla yezokuxhumana." Eminye imibuzo engakusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthi hlobo luni lobumfihlo oludingayo ngokuphelele:

• Ingabe udinga ikamelo lakho siqu? 
• Uyakuzonda uma umuntu ebuka ikhabethe lakho? 
• Awunankinga nokwabelana ngombhede, kodwa uyakuzonda yini lapho othile elula iziliphu zakho noma wabelane ngethawula lakho?
• Uzizwa kanjani ngokugcina ijenali? Ingabe iyakugcizelela ukuthi othile angase ayifunde? 

17. Iliphi inani lomuntu ongeke ukwazi ukwenza ngaphandle kwalo?

Ingabe amahlaya, umusa, uthando, uthando, noma enye into? Kimina, ngokwami, akukho okudlula ukuzwela nomusa. Yilokhu okungenza ngimazise kakhulu umlingani wami. Ukuthi unomusa, hhayi kimina kuphela, kodwa nakwabanye abantu ahlangana nabo ekuphileni kwakhe. 

Bese kuba khona namahlaya. Wenza amahlaya usuku lonke angihlukumezayo. (Nakuba engitshela ukuthi yimi ngedwa ohlekayo.) Ngiyakwazisa futhi ukuthi uyakholelwa ekusizeni abantulayo. Lokho kuvela emuseni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uthando lwakhe ngomsebenzi wakhe… Ngaphambi kokuba lena ibe incwadi yothando eya kumyeni wami, ngivumele ngilifingqa leli phuzu. 

Lezi yizibonelo zezindinganiso ebudlelwaneni. Yini ezokwenza uphinde uthandane nomlingani wakho njalo ekuseni? Yini ozobazisa kakhulu ngayo? Yini ekwenza umhloniphe ngalokho ayikho? Kusobala ukuthi leli nani libalulekile kuwe! Gcina lokhu phezulu ohlwini lwakho lwezinto ezingaxoxiswana ngazo ukuze ungalokothi uzizwe sengathi usebudlelwaneni bokuyekethisa. Yonke imihlatshelo iyafaneleka uma izinto zakho ezingaxoxiswana ngazo zinakekelwa.

Amathiphu Okuthola Okungaxoxiswana Kwakho

Ezinye zalezi zeluleko ongazilandela ku-T, kanti ezinye kungase kudingeke uzibonele ngokwakho. Kodwa ingabe ukuphela kwendlela yokufunda ngama-musts wakho iyindlela yokuhlola nephutha? Ingabe ngaso sonke isikhathi kufanele kwehle ukuze uthole ukushaywa ebusweni bakho ukuze uthole ukuthi yini ongeke uhlehle kukho? Akunjalo. U-Shivangi usisiza ngamathiphu abalulekile ukuze siqinisekise ukuthi izinto zethu ezingaxoxiswana ebudlelwaneni zizoba yini.

1. Zazi ubuwena obuyiqiniso 

"Esikhaleni esingenaso ukwahlulela zama ukuthola ukuthi ungubani. Qonda ukuthi yini oyithanda kakhulu futhi yiziphi ezinye izinto ozimisele ukuyekethisa ngazo. Ungabhala amanani ofuna ukuphila ngawo esikhathini esizayo, izenzo ezidingekayo kulokho, kanye nemingcele okudingeka uyibeke. Le mingcele yinto yakho ongenakuxoxisana ngayo," kusho uShivangi. 

Zibandakanye ne-TLC ethile, ukuzithanda . Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uvumelane nesistimu yakho yokusabela ngokomzwelo kanye nokuqonda kwakho.

 2. Thola izimiso zakho ezibalulekile

Yiziphi izimfanelo, izimiso, noma ukuziphatha okubona kubalulekile kumlingani wakho? Lawa ngamavelu akho asemqoka kanye nezinto ongeke ukwazi ukuyekethisa kuzo. Izindinganiso zomuntu zingacaciswa futhi zivezwe phambili ngokuzihlola. UShivangi unikeza imiyalo engasiza:

• Yiziphi izimiso engizithole kubanakekeli bami abayinhloko?
• Yiziphi izimiso engingathanda ukuphila ngazo? 
• Iyiphi kulezi engiphila ngayo namuhla?
• Ngabe ngokwami ​​yiziphi izimiso ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni?

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Inkululeko Ebudlelwaneni - Lokho Ekushoyo Nalokho Engayishoyo

3. Zindla ngobudlelwano obudlule

“Bonke abafana owawubathanda ngaphambili” kanye “nezipoki zamantombazane adlule” kukhona ngesizathu! Chitha isikhathi ucabanga ngezinsuku okade ukuzo, ubudlelwano bangaphambili obusebenzayo, kanye nobehlulekayo. Cabanga ngemibuzo elandelayo. Lezi zisebenza kahle ekutholeni izinto eningaxoxisana ngazo ebudlelwaneni.

• Yiziphi izinto ezenze ukuthi unganeliseki, ungakhululeki, noma uxabane? 
• Yiziphi izinto ezikwenza uhlale useduze? 
• Yiziphi izici zobudlelwano obunempilo?
• Buyini ubudlelwano bakho obuhle?
• Yiziphi izimfanelo ezinhle zozakwethu?
• Bhala incazelo yozakwethu efanelekile
• Dala uhlu lwezinto ozifunayo nezidingo ebudlelwaneni

4. Qaphela abanye abantu

Bheka nxazonke! Kukhona ubudlelwano obukuzungezile. Obukhulu, obuyisicefe, obudabukisayo, izinhlekelele, ozwelana nabo, obenza ube nomona. Kukhona okufanele ukufunde kukho konke lokhu. Yiziphi izimfanelo ezifaka isandla empumelelweni yobudlelwano obuhle? Ingabe lokhu kuhambisana nezindinganiso zakho? Yilokho ongakwenza ukuze uthole ukuthi yini oyifunayo ebudlelwaneni bese udala uhlu lwezinto ezingaxoxiswani ebudlelwaneni.

5. Thembela emathunjini akho

Uma into ongayithandi futhi ukuthola kunzima ukuyiyeka, kungenzeka ukuthi okuthile ngayo kungqubuzana nokuthile okubaluleke kakhulu kuwe. Lokho akukhona ukuxoxisana kwakho. Lokhu ngokuvamile akubonakali futhi kungase kube nzima ukumba kusukela ekuxoxweni kwemizwelo ephithene. Kodwa uma wenza umsebenzi - ukuzazi, ukucabangela, ukuzicabangela, ukubhala, ukubekezela, futhi uma kudingeka, ukwelashwa, ungase uthole lelo nani. Uma usukwenzile, ungagwema ingcindezi engadingekile yokuthola ukuvumelana lapho kufanele ubeke unyawo lwakho phansi.

Nguwe kuphela onquma ukuthi yiziphi izidingo ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni eziza kuqala kuwe! Ingabe ukuhlonipha umndeni womunye nomunye kubalulekile kuwe? Ingabe uyi-vegan futhi awukwazi ukuhlala nomuntu odla inyama? Ingabe umona ukwenza ungakhululeki ngokwedlulele? Qhubeka, yenza uhlu lwakho. Bese usukuma, unamathele kukho! Leyo imfihlo yobudlelwano obuphumelelayo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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