Izindlela Eziyisi-16 Zokumenza Azisole Ngokungakukhethi

Indlela yokumenza azisole ngokungakukhethi? Ngichithe ingxenye engcono yeminyaka yami yasekolishi ngizindla ngalo mbuzo ngemva kokuba umfana engangiba nemizwa enamandla ngempela engitshele ukuthi ngeke esakwazi ukuphuma nami ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa zokuthandana. Uthe ubengakakulungeli ubudlelwano. Kodwa ngemva kwamasonto ambalwa, wayesehamba nomunye wabangane bami. Lokho kwanezela inhlamba ekulimaleni.

Ngaleso sikhathi ngangineminyaka engu-18 futhi angizange ngisiphathe kahle lesi simo. Ngilingisa ezinkundleni zokuxhumana lapho owayekade ekhona eqhamuke nentombi yakhe entsha (kanye nomngane wami), echitha izimpela sonto elele embhedeni, ecabanga ukuthi ngingamenza kanjani azisole ngalokho akwenza futhi abuyele kimi, ngokuba sengozini phambi kwakhe ngethemba lokuthi uzobona ukuthi uqonde kangakanani kimi futhi azizwe njengesiwula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngakumosha ngazo zonke izindlela.

Emashumini amabili eminyaka kamuva, ukuziphatha kwami ​​kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kusangenza ngidangale. Ngokuzuza kokubheka emuva kanye nolwazi, ngingasho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi leyo akuyona impendulo yokuthi ungenza kanjani ukuthi umuntu wakudala azisole ngokukushiya. Ngakho-ke uma uzibuza ukuthi ungenza kanjani ukuthi azisole ngokukuzwisa ubuhlungu noma ukuthi umenze kanjani azisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe futhi afune ubuye, ngivumele ngikutshele lokho okwenzeka ekuphileni okungifundise khona ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo kangcono kunami.

Kungani Ufuna Ukumenza Azisole Ngokukwala?

Ngaphambi kokuthi sifinyelele ekutheni senzenjani noma sithini ukuze azisole ngokukuzwisa ubuhlungu, ngifuna ubuze ngezizathu. Zibuze, kungani kubaluleke kangaka ukuthi umenze azisole ngokwala?

• Ingabe kungenxa yokuthi uzwa ubuhlungu?
• Ingabe kungenxa yokuthi ubambelele ethembeni lokuthi uma nje ebona iphutha lezindlela zakhe, uyobona ukuthi ningaba muhle kangakanani ndawonye?
• Ingabe unethemba lokubuyisana?
• Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi uma nje engavuma ukuthi uyazisola ngokungakukhethi, ubungathola ukuvala okudingayo uqhubeke?

Impendulo yalo mbuzo ngeke ikusize nje ukuthi uthole ukuthi ungamenza kanjani azisole ngokungakukhethi kodwa futhi - futhi okubaluleke nakakhulu - akutshele ukuthi kuwukuphishekela okufanele isikhathi sakho. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ukwenza lokhu ngoba uzwa ubuhlungu, ukubona ukuthi uyazisola ngezinqumo zakhe kungabuqeda ubuhlungu ngokwezinga elithile.

Uma inhloso yakho kuwukuthola ukuthi ungamenza kanjani azisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe futhi afune ukuthi ubuye, yazi ukuthi kungenzeka noma kungenzeki. Futhi noma kwenzeka, asikho isiqiniseko sokuthi uzothola injabulo yakho njalo nalo mfana. Futhi uma wenzela lokhu ukuze kuvalwe, ukuzisola kwakhe noma ukuntuleka kwakho ngeke kusize. Ukuvala kuvela ngaphakathi. Nakuba ukuxolisa kowayethandana naye kungasiza, ngeke kukusize ukuthi uqhubeke ngaphandle kokuthi ukuthole kuwena ukuvumela okwedlule ukuthi kuqhubeke.

Uma ekuzihloleni, usenomuzwa wokuthi udinga ukumenza azisole ngokungakunaki noma ngokungakukhethi, ngilapha ukuze ngikusize. Ake sikusize uthole ukuthi ungayenza kanjani i-ex yakho izisole ngokukushiya.

16 Amathiphu Endlela Yokumenza Azisole Ngokungakukhethi

Uma kukhona into eyodwa engiyifundile kulolo budlelwano obuhlulekile kanye nezinye izinto zothando ezingajabulisi kangako, ukuthi indlela engcono kakhulu ezimweni ezinjalo ukuba uhlobo lwentombazane abafana abazisola ngayo ngokulahlekelwa. Impendulo yokuthi ungamenza kanjani aqaphele lokho akulahlekile akukhona ukuzenza isiwula phambi kwakhe noma ukuvela njengowesifazane ophelelwe yithemba, ongazethembi okhipha amazwi anenzondo futhi amkhulume kabi ukuze athole ukunakwa kwakhe.

Uma kukhona, lezi zenzo zizomfakazela kuphela ukuthi wenze ukukhetha okufanele. Ngakho-ke, noma ngabe uyazibuza ukuthi ungayenza kanjani indoda izisole ngokukufakela isipoki, ukuthi ungayenza kanjani ukuthi izisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe futhi ifune ukuthi ubuye, noma ufuna ukumenza azisole ngokukuziba, lawa macebiso azokusiza:

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1. Sebenzisa ubuhlungu

Ngemuva kokuhlukana noma ukwaliwa, ungase uzithole usulungisa ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani ukuzisola kwakho kwakudala ngokukushiya noma wenze umfana azisole ngokungakukhethi. Nokho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi imizwa iphakama ngesikhathi esifana nalesi futhi awulokothi wenze izinqumo ezingcono kakhulu uma usabela endaweni esengozini. Ngakho-ke, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza lapho uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungenza kanjani ukuthi abone lokho akulahlekele ukungasabeli noma uqhamuke nohlelo lokusebenza ngokushesha.

Zinike isikhathi sokucubungula ubuhlungu, ukhothe amanxeba angokomzwelo, tshala imali ekuzinakekeleni, futhi uzinakekele. Uma usukwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho, uzobe ukuhlomele kangcono ukunquma ukuthi kufanelekile yini ukuzama ukumenza azisole ngokudlala ngawe. Futhi uma kunjalo, iyiphi indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza lokho.

2. Yamukela ukuthi insizwa engakukhethi ayikuchazi ukubaluleka kwakho

Ungamenza kanjani abone ukubaluleka kwakho, uyazibuza? Nokho, ngaphambi kokwenza omunye umuntu abone ukubaluleka kwakho, kubalulekile ukuhlola ukuthi umuzwa wakho wokuzethemba usendaweni yini. Ukwenqatshwa ngomunye umuntu kungaqeda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi kukwenze uncike ekuqinisekisweni kwangaphandle ukuze uzizwe ufanelwe uthando nokuthandwa. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi ngaphambi kokwenza umfana abone ukuthi ubalulekile, wazi futhi ukubone ngokwakho.

• Zikhumbuze ukuthi ufanelekile njengoba unjalo
• Sebenzisa okuphozithivu amazwi okuvuma ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho
• Zijwayeze ukuzithanda
• Naka inkhulumomphendvulwano yakho yangaphakathi, futhi wenze umzamo oqotho wokuqeda noma yikuphi ukugxeka, ukwahlulela, noma amahloni kukho.

3. Zivulele okuhlangenwe nakho okusha nezigigaba

Ungamenza kanjani azisole ngokukulahlekelwa nguwe? Zigcine umatasa ngokwenza izinto ozithandayo ngempela ukuzenza futhi uzivulele ulwazi olusha kanye nezigigaba. Jabulela impilo yakho yokungashadi ngokugcwele. Hlola izinto ezintsha ozithandayo kanye nezinto ozithandayo. Funa izindlela zokuxhumana nabantu abanomqondo ofanayo. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuzokusiza ukuthola izinto ezintsha ngawe, kuthuthukise ubuntu bakho, futhi kukusize ukhule ube uhlobo olungcono nolujabulisayo lwakho. Ngamanye amazwi, lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi ungene empilweni yakho futhi ube uhlobo lwentombazane abafana abazisola ngayo ngokulahlekelwa yiyo.

4. Nciphisa ukuthintana naye kodwa ungamnqamuli ngokuphelele

Ukuze umuntu azisole ngokukuphatha kabi, ukungakukhethi, noma ukukulimaza, lowo muntu kusadingeka abe yingxenye yempilo yakho. Kodwa-ke, uma ungamnciphisi umuntu othandana naye empilweni yakho ngemva kokuba ekuphathe kabi, angase aqale ukukuthatha kalula futhi angakuboni ngempela ukuthi ungubani. Ngakho-ke, udinga ukuhamba ngentambo eqinile phakathi kokuxhumana naye nokumgcina elele eceleni.

Xhumana naye ngezikhathi ezithile ezinkundleni zokuxhumana noma umbhalo, futhi ukhulume ngokunganaki uma kwenzeka uhlangana naye. Gcina i-dynamics yakho inesizotha futhi inesizotha kodwa ungamniki ukunaka okufanayo nokubaluleka owawukwenza ngesikhathi ubunentshisekelo yothando/uhileleke naye.

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5. Mtshele ngakho konke obukwenza

Isihluthulelo sokuthola ukuthi ungamenza kanjani azisole ngokungakukhethi ukuhlela umnyakazo wakho ngobuhlakani. Isibonelo, kufanele usebenzise ukuxhumana okulinganiselwe okugcine naye ukuze umnikeze amazwibela endleleni yakho yokuphila ethuthukisiwe. Kungaba ngabangane abafanayo, inkundla yezokuxhumana, noma ngokungena nje ezindabeni zempilo engxoxweni evamile, mtshele konke okade uphezu kwakho. Ungamangali uma eqala ukucupha okuthunyelwe kwakho ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, enentshisekelo engakaze ibonwe ngempilo yakho, noma acabange kabusha ngesinqumo sakhe.

6. Hlala njalo ulethe i-A-game yakho ukumenza azisole ngokungakukhethi

Uma ufuna azisole ngokungakukhethi noma amenze azisole ngokudlala ngawe, ungazivumeli uhambe ngenkathi ululama ekuhluphekeni kwenhliziyo. Ungaqali ukumshayela ucingo udakiwe noma ukuthumela imiyalezo eyomile, sithembe, lokho ngeke kusebenzele wena. Ukuze umenze aqaphele lokho akulahlekele, udinga ukuba ngcono kakhulu phambi kwakhe. Yiba uhlobo lwentombazane abafana abazisola ngayo ngokulahlekelwa.

Ukubukeka kahle kukwenza uzizwe ukahle, ngakho khumbula ukuhlala usesimweni esihle, ugqoke kahle, futhi uphume. Kodwa khumbula ukuthi awumenzeli lokhu, uzenzela wena. Khipha leyo ngubo emnyama efanelekile noma lelo bhulukwe lamajini eligona kuzo zonke izindawo ezifanele. Ukubukeka umuhle kuzokwenza uzizwe ujabule futhi uma kukhona “ukuhlangana ngengozi” naye lapho ubukeka umuhle, kuwukunikeza nje kuphela. Angazisola ngokuphelele ngokungakukhethi.

7. Ungakuniki ukwaneliseka kokwazi ukuthi ukhonya ngaye

Uzibuza ukuthi uzothini ukuze azisole ngokukulimaza? Nokho, ukuthulula inhliziyo yakho ngomyalezo wombhalo ukuze umenze azisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe noma ukuba sengozini ngokomzwelo lapho uhlangana naye ubuso nobuso ngeke kukusize ngalutho. Ungamniki ukwaneliseka kokwazi ukuthi usaphethe amandla phezu kwakho.

Cha, asikuceli ukuthi uvale imizwa yakho. Ngazo zonke izindlela, guquququda, gcoba umcamelo ngezinyembezi zakho, dla ubhavu ka-ayisikhilimu ngenkathi ubukele ama-romcom amnandi, futhi wencike kubangani nomndeni wakho ukuze uthole ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo. Kodwa uma unaye noma ukhuluma naye, lungisa lowo mqhele, gqoka ukumamatheka kwakho okuhle, futhi ngivumele ngikubone ngendlovukazi oyiyo.

8. Ngena ku-psychology yokuzisola

Ukuze wenze umuntu azisole ngokukuphatha kabi, kudingeka umkhumbuze ukuthi ulahlekelwe yini ngokungakukhethi. I-psychology yokuzisola ngemva kokuhlukana noma ukwenqaba intuthuko yothile igxila ekufiseni umuntu ukuba enze izinqumo ezihlukile. Ngakho-ke, mnikeze isizathu sokufisa sengathi akazange akuyeke uhambe. Uma uhlangana noma ukhuluma nalo mfana,

• Khumbuza izikhathi ongasoze wazikhohlwa enizichithe ndawonye
• Gxila ezintweni ezihlekisayo nezixakile enazenza ndawonye
• Mkhumbuze nge isigaba se-honeymoon ngobudlelwano bakho
• Asho noma enze into eyenza inhliziyo yakhe yancibilika emini bese ehlehla

Leli icebiso elinobuqili encwadini ethi 'umenza kanjani azisole ngokukuziba' kodwa ngokuqinisekile lizohamba ibanga elide ekusizeni ufinyelele umgomo wakho.

9. Menze azi ngempilo yakho yokuphola

Ufuna ukumenza azisole ngokudlala ngawe? Uzibuza ukuthi ungamenza kanjani aqaphele ukuthi ulahlekelwe yini? Ufuna impendulo yokuthi ungamenza kanjani akuxoshe ngemva kokulahlwa? Mnike ithuba lokubuka impilo yakho yokuthandana. Vele, ungaqambi izinto. Kodwa uma usuqalile ukuthandana futhi ngemva kokuhlukana /ukwenqatshwa yilo mfana, khuluma ngokunganaki ngokuthi kube kuhle kangakanani ukuziveza lapho futhi.

• Khuluma ngokuthi lo muntu omusha empilweni yakho ufuna izinto ezifanayo nezakho kanjani
• Yeka ukuthi i-chemistry inkulu kangakanani
• Kunjani ukuthola umuntu okukhathalela ngokujulile

Uma lo mfana esenemizwa ngawe noma ipsychology yokuzisola ngemuva kokuhlukana/ekwala imenze waphinde wacabanga ngesinqumo sakhe, lokhu kunyakaza kuzomehlisa isithunzi. Akunakuba khona indlela eqondile yokuthi ungamenza kanjani akuxoshe ngemuva kokwaliwa.

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10. Mphathe ngokunganaki

Ngiyawazi lowo muzwa wokulangazelela kahle kakhulu. Kungani engaphinde angithande? Kungani engaboni ukuthi ngimthanda kangakanani? Kungani engazi ukuthi besingaba kuhle kangakanani ndawonye? Ngichithe ubusuku obuningi ngikhathazekile ngale mibuzo, futhi ngiyazi ukuthi nawe unjalo. Kodwa akadingi ukwazi lokho. Ukumenza azisole ngokukuziba ngomunye umuntu noma ukungabuyiseli imizwa yakho, udinga ukungamvumeli abone ukuthi isinqumo sakhe sikuthinte kangakanani.

Ngakho-ke, uma nichitha isikhathi nabangani noma nigcina nixoxa, gcina isimo sakho sengqondo singanaki. Mphathe njengoba ubungenza kunoma yimuphi omunye umngane. Ungamniki ukubaluleka noma ukunakwa okukhulu. Ukubekwa endaweni yobungani noma okubi nakakhulu ukuphathwa njengomuntu ojwayelene naye kuzomphazamisa futhi kumenze azibuze ukuthi wenze iphutha yini lokungaphindiseli lapho enethuba.

11. Sebenzela ekubeni inguqulo yakho engcono

Ungawaqondisi wonke amandla akho ekutheni wenze kanjani noma uzothini ukuze azisole ngokukuzwisa ubuhlungu. Kunalokho, gxila ekubeni uhlobo lwentombazane abafana abazisola ngayo ngokulahlekelwa. Nansi indlela:

• Nakekela impilo - yidla kahle, vivinya umzimba njalo, futhi usebenzele ukuthuthukisa impilo yakho yengqondo
• Gxila emsebenzini wakho futhi unikeze u-100% wakho emsebenzini wakho nsuku zonke - indlela enhle yokwenza bhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo kakhulu
• Nweba ama-horizons akho ngokufunda okwengeziwe, ukuphuma, nokuhlangana nabantu abasha
• Ungavumeli imizwa yakho ebuhlungu ikwenze wenze ngendlela oyoba namahloni ngayo - akukho ukuklabalasa, ukudakwa, ukukhuluma kabi.
• Bonisa ukuzola, umusa, kanye nenhlonipho noma nini lapho uhlangana noma uxhumana naye

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12. Sebenzisa izinkundla zokuxhumana ukuze abone ukuthi kumnandi kangakanani

Ama-akhawunti akho ezinkundla zokuxhumana angaba nempendulo yokuthi ungamenza kanjani abone ukubaluleka kwakho. Sebenzisa lezi njengefasitela ukuze alunguze emhlabeni wakho futhi ashaywe umoya yilokho akubonayo. Ukuze amenze azizwe ezisola ngezinqumo zakhe, makabone ukuthi udedele unkulunkulukazi.

Ngisho noma ungekho ekuthumeleni okukhulu yonke imininingwane emincane yempilo yakho ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, kuzofaneleka umzamo uma ufuna ngempela lo mfana abone ukuthi ulahlekelwe yini. Ngakho-ke, zilungiselele ukukhulisa umdlalo wakho wenkundla yezokuxhumana:

• Uyathuthuka ngohlelo olusha lokujima? Thumela ngaphambi nangemuva kwama-reels
• Ohambweni uwedwa? Isikhathi sokungeza Ezindabeni zakho
• Uthole ingubo egqamisa izingxenye ezifanele zomzimba wakho? Yenza okuthunyelwe okungu-#OOTD
• Unosuku oluhle lwezinwele? Bukisa ngesithombe ozishuthe sona
• Ukuba nesikhathi esibi ebusuku amantombazane? Sicela ube bukhoma!

13. Kodwa ungamcuphi

Okwamanje, kumelwe ukuthi usuzwile ukuthi kunendlela yokumenza aqaphele ukubaluleka kwakho - ukugxila ekuphileni impilo yakho engcono kakhulu futhi ungamnaki kakhulu lo mfana. Uma uqhubeka naleso sihloko, ngenkathi usakaza izibuyekezo zakho zempilo ku-inthanethi, gwema isifiso sokumlandela ezinkundleni zokuxhumana . Awufuni ukumnika ukwaneliseka kokwazi ukuthi usatshala imali eyanele yokubuka izindaba zakhe ngasese noma ukubhekana nokuzisola ngokuthanda ngephutha okuthunyelwe kwengane eneminyaka engu-4 ubudala ku-Instagram yakhe.

14. Mtshele ukuthi uzizwe kanjani kodwa usuphelile

Impendulo elula yokuthi ungamenza kanjani azisole ngokukuzwisa ubuhlungu iwukuba nengxoxo evuthiwe ngakho. Kodwa hhayi ngaso leso sikhathi. Ngemva kwesikhathi esanele sesidlulile futhi uzokwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho, vula isifuba ngokuthi isinqumo sakhe sibuhlungu kangakanani kodwa usubhekane nezinhlungu manje.

Umlayezo wombhalo omuhle ongamenza azisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe ungaba: “Heyi! Leli zinga lomusa nobuqotho lizoncibilikisa inhliziyo yakhe futhi limenze azizwe kabi ngezinqumo zakhe.

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15. Yenza umzamo oqotho wokudlulela phambili

Indlela yokumenza azisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe futhi afune ukuthi ubuye noma ukuthi angamenza kanjani akuxoshe ngemuva kokulahlwa ngeke kube yinto esemqoka yokuphila kwakho. Le mpilo nawe uyigugu kakhulu ukuthi ungadlaliswa uzama ukunqoba indoda eyakwala kwasekuqaleni. Nakuba kulungile ukulengiswa isikhathi esithile kumuntu obunemizwa ejulile ngaye, impilo yakho ayikwazi ukuzungeza ekuzameni ukuveza isifiso.

Uma usuzinike isikhathi esanele sokudabuka nokucubungula ukulahlekelwa, yenza umzamo oqotho wokudlulela phambili. Uma lo mfana ezisola ngokungakukhethi futhi ebuya, nquma ukuthi ufuna ukuphendula kanjani ngokusekelwe ezimweni zakho ngaleso sikhathi. Kwazi bani ungase ungasafuni ukuba naye ngaleso sikhathi!

16. Zithande ngokujulile

Ungazilahleki ngokuthola indlela yokumenza azisole ngokungakukhethi. Yize kumnandi kakhulu ukuzama ukwenza umuntu azisole ngokukuphatha kabi, umgomo lapha mkhulu kakhulu kunalokho. Ukugxila kwakho kufanele kube ekuhlehliseni imizwa yokungazethembi nokuzethemba ehambisana nokulahlwa. Ungakuvumeli lokhu kube igalelo ekuzethembeni kwakho futhi khumbula ukuthi abanye abantu abachazi ukubaluleka kwakho, nguwe kuphela ochazayo. Ngakho-ke zithande futhi wazi ukuthi indoda efanele izofika futhi ikwazise konke onakho.

Manje usukwazi konke okumele ukwazi mayelana nendlela yokumenza azisole ngokungakukhethi. Uma imizamo yakho iveza imiphumela bese kufika umfana owakushiya udangele, ungangenelwa yimizwa. Cabanga isikhathi eside futhi kanzima mayelana nokuthi yini ofuna ukuyenza ngokulandelayo nokuthi yini ekulungele. Uma enquma ukukushiya futhi, kuzoba nzima nakakhulu ukuthi uphinde ubuyele emuva.

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