Okungu-3 Okuphezulu Okungenziwa Nokungamele Ukwenze Ukuze Ube Nobudlelwano Obujabulisayo

Ngakho-ke, uthole uthando lwempilo yakho futhi nobabili ninqume ukuchitha impilo yenu yonke ndawonye, ​​kahle, siyakuhalalisela! Uma ugibele izinga eliphezulu lesigaba se-honeymoon, ukufuna iseluleko sobudlelwane ukuze wenze isibopho sakho sibe namandla kungase kube yinto yokugcina engqondweni yakho. Njengoba sikuzonda ukukhipha ibhamuza 'ngenjabulo kuze kube phakade', iqiniso lihlala liwukuthi ukuthandana kuyinto elula kakhulu ukuyenza, ukuhlala othandweni okudinga konke ukugxila kwakho nokunaka kwakho.

Ukugcina ubudlelwano bemibhangqwana eminingi akuyona ukuhamba epaki. Kukhona ukungaboni ngaso linye, izingxabano, nokulwa nokulungisana. Uma ufuna iseluleko sobudlelwano mayelana nendlela yokugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo naphezu kwakho konke ukulwa namaqhubu endleleni, qhubeka ufunda!

Izeluleko Zobudlelwane Kubabhangqwana - Okwenziwa Nokungamelwe Ukwenze

Bonke ubudlelwano budinga umsebenzi kanye nomzamo omncane. Uzoba nesabelo sakho esifanelekile sokukhuphuka nokwehla, kodwa khumbula ukuthi ekugcineni, kuyafaneleka. Awukho umuzwa ongcono kunomuzwa wokuba sothandweni. Ngakho-ke, nakuba umsebenzi omningi okudingeka uwenze ukuze wenze izinto zisebenze ngezinye izikhathi ungase ubonakale umkhulu, inqobo nje uma wenza umlingani wakho ajabule futhi ubuhlobo benu buqine, uzokubona ukubaluleka kokuzikhandla.

Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungakanani umsebenzi owenzayo, kungase kube nezikhathi lapho izinto zisahamba kabi. Abantu bavame ukukhala ngokuthi ubudlelwano abufiki nebhukwana. Kodwa lokho akulona iqiniso nhlobo! Eqinisweni, kunezinto ezithile - ezimbalwa okumelwe uzenze lapha nokumbalwa ongakwenzi lapho - okuthi uma kugcinwa engqondweni, kwenze ubudlelwano benu buchume futhi buqine ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngakho-ke, lapho ulungiselela ukuchitha impilo yakho nothile, yenza umzamo wokwazi okufanele nokungafanele ukwenze ebuhlotsheni.

Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu abantu okudingeka bazikhumbule lapho besebenzela ukugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo ukuthi ukukhulumisana okukhululekile nokwethembeka kungenza yonke into ibe ngcono. Uma ujwayele ukuba ongashadile futhi uhlale uthembele kuwena kukho konke, kungase kube nzima ngezinye izikhathi ukucela usizo kumlingani wakho noma ukufeza izinto ozifunayo nezifiso zakho ezincane. Kodwa khumbula, bonke ubuhlobo buwukubambisana.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi azikho izinkinga zakho nobuhlungu benhliziyo okusezakho nje. Ngakho-ke, yabelana ngezinkathazo zakho, izidingo, kanye nobuthakathaka bakho nomlingani wakho ngokukhululekile. Uma ufuna ukusebenzela ekugcineni ubudlelwano obunempilo, qiniseka ukuthi awuzibambi izinto ukuze ugweme ukungqubuzana noma ngoba ucabanga ukuthi ungakwazi ukubhekana nezinto ngokwakho. Sonke siyathanda ukwenzela abantu esibathandayo izinto. Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho naye uyakwenza. Ngakho-ke, uma uqhubeka uthembele kuwe kuphela futhi ungalokothi ukhulume nabo ngobuhlungu bakho nezinto ozifunayo, bangase baqale ukuzizwa sengathi awubafuni noma abanaki.

Ukwazi okungafanele ukwenze ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile njengokwazi okumele ukwenze. Yebo, sonke siyawenza amaphutha nokwahlulela okungalungile ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa kunezinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzigweme - izinto ezingase ziphenduke zibe amafulegi abomvu uma kuvame ukuzibandakanya kuzo kufanele zigwenywe ngazo zonke izindleko. Isibonelo, akuwona neze umqondo omuhle ukungamhloniphi umlingani wakho.

Ukuhloniphana kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ekugcineni ubudlelwano. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi niyaphikisana noma ezimeni lapho umlingani wakho ekunikeza umbono noma iseluleko sakhe, kuphathe konke ngenhlonipho. Zama ukuqonda ukuma kwabo ngisho nalapho bekhuluma izinto ongazithandi. Ungasheshi ukuzivikela uma bekutshela ukuthi kukhona okungalungile okwenzile. Ukulalela kuyisihluthulelo. Wonke umuntu angakhuluma futhi asho ucezu lwakhe kodwa ukulalela kungamandla angewona abaningi abenza umzamo wokuwathuthukisa nakuba kungaxazulula izinkinga eziningi imibhangqwana ebhekana nazo.

Nokho, leli yiphuzu nje le-iceberg. Ziningi ezinye izinto okufanele uzenze ebudlelwaneni ukuze wakhe isibopho esiqinile, esijabulisayo phakathi neminyaka. Qhubeka nokufunda ukuze uthole okunye okuhle kakhulu iseluleko sobudlelwano mayelana nalokho okufanele nokungafanele ukwenze ebuhlotsheni owake wabuthola.

I-Relationship Dos - Izinto Okufanele Uzenze

Lezi yizo zonke izinto okumele uzibeke eqhulwini ebudlelwaneni ukuze busebenze. Ukuphuthelwa noma yikuphi kwalokhu kungase kuphazamise ukusebenzisana kwenu njengombhangqwana ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Naka izinto ezintathu ezinkulu zobudlelwano, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uyazilandela:

1. Khulumisanani

Lesi seluleko sobudlelwano siphezulu ohlwini lwethu lwezinto okufanele uzenze ebudlelwaneni. Kuyamangaza ukuthi abashadile abakhulumisani ngokwanele. Ukuxhumana kuyingxenye ebalulekile yabo bonke ubuhlobo. Ngaphandle kokutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi yini oyicabangayo nendlela ozizwa ngayo, ngeke ulindele ukuthi aqonde isimo sakho sengqondo. Noma kunjalo, izinkinga zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni akuvamile.

Isenzo esilula sokuphumela obala ngalokho okuzwayo ngempela sihamba ibanga elide ekugcineni ubudlelwano buhleliwe. Uma kukhona into oyifunayo noma ungayifuni, kufanele utshele umlingani wakho. Ababona abafundi bengqondo. Ngakho uma uzizwa udangele noma ungazethembi ngokuthile, xhumana. Uma ufuna ukudla isiShayina isidlo sakusihlwa, batshele. Uzoba nguwe ohluphekayo uma ungakhulumi okucabangayo.

2. Chitha isikhathi sekhwalithi

Izinhlelo zokusebenza ezihlanyayo zidlala kabi ngempilo yomuntu yezithandani eziningi kulezi zinsuku. Ukuphatha isikhathi kuba nzima. Ukuze ugcine ubudlelwano bakho busebenza, kufanele ulethe isenzo sakho esihle kakhulu sokulinganisa. Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okufanele uzenze ebudlelwaneni ukubekela eceleni isikhathi esithile esihle somlingani wakho.

Idlani isidlo sasemini ndawonye, ​​bukani umbukiso noma uchungechunge lwewebhu, yiyani kumamuvi, hlelani izinsuku zobusuku okungenani kanye ngeviki. Ningenza noma yini eniyithokozela njengabashadikazi. Umqondo uwukwenza izinto ndawonye. Ubudlelwano obuningi buba yizisulu zokushoda kwesikhathi sekhwalithi, okubangela ukuthi inhlansi phakathi kozakwethu igcine iqhume.

3. Hloniphani indawo nobuntu bomunye nomunye

Ngaphambi kokuthi ucabange ngezinto okufanele uzenze ebudlelwaneni bakho, zikhumbuze ukuthi ningabantu ababili abahlukene. Nobabili naphila ngaphambi kokuba ubudlelwano bube khona futhi nina nobabili kufanele niqhubeke niba nempilo ngemva kokuhlangana ndawonye. Phumula nabangani bakho ngebhodlela likabhiya obandayo phezu kwegeyimu yebhola, futhi umvumele ajabulele isabelo sakhe sesikhathi 'sami' neqembu lakhe lamantombazane.

Uma uqala ukuzizwa une-claustrophobic kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, uzoqala ukuzwa isidingo sokugqashula. Akudingekile ukuba uchithe isikhathi neqembu lakho labangane abafanele. Ningaba sendlini eyodwa nizenzele izinto zenu. Ukuchitha sonke isikhathi senu ndawonye kungase kugcine sekuminyanisa futhi awumfuni neze umlingani onamathelayo. Iseluleko esingcono kakhulu sobudlelwano siwukubeka imingcele nokuhloniphana isikhala somuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni.

Ubudlelwano Akufanele - Izinto Okungafanele Uzenze

Kunezithiyo empilweni yawo wonke umbhangqwana. Sonke siyamosha ngezinye izikhathi. Silimazana singaqondile sigcine sesixabana njalo. Kodwa nakuba ukwenza amaphutha kulungile, kunezinto ezithile okungafanele uzenze ebudlelwaneni. Qiniseka ukuthi uyawaqaphela lawa mafulegi amakhulu abomvu, futhi ufunde ukulungisa amaphutha akho:

1. Ungalindeli ngokungafanele

Ukulindela okungenangqondo kuyalimaza kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo obuseduze. Ngenxa yokuthi usebudlelwaneni, umlingani wakho akaphoqelekile ukuthi afeze konke okufunayo. Nakuba kulungile ukuba nezinto ezithile ezithandwayo nezingathandwa, ezifunwayo nezifiswayo, lokho okungafanele ukwenze ebudlelwaneni kubekwe okulindelekile okungenangqondo nokungalungile.

Akekho umlingani onganelisa zonke izifiso zomunye. Setha okulindelwe okungokoqobo ukugwema ukudumazeka nokucasuka okungadingekile. Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi nobabili niqale lolu hambo oluhle ndawonye. Ungangeni ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yanoma yiziphi izizathu ezibonakalayo. Bathande lokhu abayikho. Uma lokho kungenele, umlingani wakho akuyena owakho.

Kufanele uqonde ukuthi ukuze uveze okuhle kumlingani wakho, kufanele umvumele abe yilokho ayikho ngempela. Uma behlala bezama ukukuhlaba umxhwele, bazogcina bephatheke kabi ebudlelwaneni.

2. Ungakhulumi okwedlule

Amathuba ukuthi okwamanje usuwazi okuningi ngomlingani wakho, okuhlanganisa nezinye izinto ezingemnandi zesikhathi sakhe esidlule. Ungawasebenzisi njengesikhali sokunqoba ingxabano. Ngeke baphinde bazizwe bekhululekile uma benawe futhi bayohlala besaba ukuthi bahlanganyele kakhulu nawe.

Babonise ukwethemba okukhulu ngokukuthululela isifuba, ungakuphuli ngokuveza izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu ngezikhathi zokucindezeleka noma ngenye indlela. Ukwenza kanjalo ngeke nje kushiye isibazi esijulile engqondweni yabo kodwa futhi kuyobenza buthaka ubuhlobo.

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3. Ungazibandakanyi emdlalweni wokusola

Lesi iseluleko esihle kakhulu sobudlelwano ongasithola. Ukusola omunye umuntu ngamaphutha akho kulula kakhulu. Gwema lo mkhuba kusenesikhathi. Ngisho noma umlingani wakho enecala kokuthile, zama ukugxila emandleni akhe esikhundleni salokho. Ukushintsha icala njalo kulimaza ubudlelwano.

Ukudlala umdlalo wokusola kuzokhuphula amandla amabi futhi kwenze isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu. Zamani ukuyixoxa futhi nixazulule inkinga ndawonye njengombhangqwana. Ungabavumeli bazizwe bebodwa. Babonise ukuthi uzohlala ulapho kubo. Khetha ukwazisa okuhle esikhundleni sokuhlala ukhomba ukuthi yini engalungile ngayo. Akekho othanda i-pessimist.

Manje-ke, uyakwazi okwenziwa nokungafaneleki kubo bonke ubudlelwano. Awukho umbhangqwana ongenasici kodwa ngalesi seluleko sobudlelwano sokusekela, ungazama ukulungisa amaphutha akho futhi wenze ubudlelwano busebenze. Uyazi ukuthi ningcono ndawonye!

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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