"I-crush ihlala isikhathi esingakanani?" ungase uzibuze ungenakuzisiza. Futhi awuwedwa. Esikoleni samabanga aphezulu, ngathandana nomfana ekilasini lami. Ngafikelwa imicabango yokuthi bekungaba njani uma ngimtshela indlela engizizwa ngayo. Angathanda ukuthi ngibuye? Singazivala izivumo zethu ngokuqabula? Njalo lapho siblomile, ngangikhumbula lezo zikhathi ekhanda lami kamuva, ngokuphindaphindiwe.
Njengoba izivivinyo zokugcina zonyaka wami wokugcina zazisondela, angibange ngisakwazi ukugxila kunoma yini enye ngaphandle kwalowo mfana omuhle engangizifela ngaye. Ngangidinga ukwazi ukuthi ngingalahlekelwa kanjani yimizwa ngenxa yokuqothuka eyayingidle ngokuphelele. Ngethuka, ngazama ukuzingcwaba ezincwadini zami ukuze ngihlale ngimatasa. Ekugcineni ngakhuluma nomeluleki wesikole owangisiza ukuba ngiqonde indlela yokukhohlwa ukuqothuka ekugcineni. Kuyo yonke le minyaka kamuva, ngilapha ukuze ngabelane ngemininingwane eyangisiza ukuthi ngingagcini nje ngokuyeka ukuchoboza umngane engangifunda naye esikoleni, kodwa futhi ngibhekane nabanye ababechotshozwa kusukela ngaleso sikhathi.
I-Crush ihlala isikhathi eside kangakanani?
Okuqukethwe
Akuwona wonke ama-crush enzelwe ukuphenduka ubudlelwano obuhlala isikhathi eside noma uhlobo oluthile lokuxhumana kwangempela. Abanye, bavele baphele. Ukuze uqonde umbuzo othi 'i-crush ihlala isikhathi esingakanani', kubalulekile ukwazi izinto ezimbili ngokucacile: Kusho ukuthini ukuchotshozwa? Kanti kunjani ukuthatheka okuhlukile othandweni?
Kalula nje, ukuthatheka kuwumuzwa onamandla wokuthatheka nomuntu okungenzeka ungazi okuningi ngaye. Lokhu kuthatheka kubangela imizwelo ejulile kanye nokujaha okulungele, yingakho kungase kube nzima ukusuka ekuchosheni okubona nsuku zonke, noma ngisho nomuntu ongakuvumi ngisho nokuba khona kwakho. Uyabubona ubudlelwano obungase bube nalo muntu, nakuba singekho isisekelo esingako soyedwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uthando lwezothando lubonakala ngokusondelana okunempilo okungokomzwelo kanye nesibopho esiqinile esivela ekwabelaneni ngohambo nokwazi omunye umuntu ngokuseduze.
Manje njengoba usucacelwe ukuthi ungahlukanisa kanjani ukuchotshozwa othandweni, ake sibuyele embuzweni othi: I-crush ihlala isikhathi esingakanani? Ngokusho kwakamuva ucwaningo, kuthatha izinyanga ezine ukukhohlwa i-crush. Kodwa-ke, lapho imizwa nemizwelo ibandakanyeka, izikhathi ezisekelwe ocwaningweni nezilinganiso azibambeki ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukuthandana nomuntu iminyaka eminingi akuyona into engavamile. Isibonelo: Ukuqothuka kwami esikoleni esiphakeme iminyaka emibili.
Nakuba ukuzithokozisa ngokujaha kwemizwa lapho ucindezela abantu abasha kujabulisa futhi kunika amandla, le mizwa ingase ikhathale ngemva kwephuzu elithile. Ikakhulukazi uma ungakwazi ukwabelana ngazo nento oyithandayo noma esimweni sokuchotshozwa okuhlulekile.
Ingabe i-crush ingahlala iminyaka engu-7 noma ngaphezulu?
"Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuchotshozwa kwentsha? Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthi uthando luphele nya?" kubuza omunye wabafundi bethu, umama okhathazekile wengane eneminyaka engu-15. Igama elithi 'crush' livame ukusetshenziselwa ukuchaza lapho uba nemizwa enamandla kodwa iba yizikhathi ezidlulayo noma ezihlala isikhashana zokuheha othile. Nokho, kunzima ukubeka umugqa wesikhathi othize embuzweni othi 'i-crush ihlala isikhathi esingakanani'. Nakuba amanye ama-crush ashabalala phakathi nezinsuku noma amahora, amanye angahlala impilo yonke. Ngakho, yebo, ukuchotshozwa kungahlala iminyaka. Kodwa izinga layo liyancipha kakhulu.
Esinye isici esiyinhloko esinquma ukuchotshozwa ukuthi yini evusa ukukhanga kanye nemizwa ebonakala sengathi inothando onalo ngabo. Uma ukhangwa othile ngokusekelwe kuzici zomzimba ezifana nokubukeka noma uthando embhedeni, ukuchoboza kungaphela ngokushesha. Imvamisa, uma uqala ukubona amaphutha kubuntu bomuntu, liyaqhuma ibhamuza lokuthi uphelele kangakanani, bese uyeka ukubhejwa ngabo.
Nokho, ukuchotshozwa okubangelwa ukukhangwa ngokomzwelo kanye ukusondelana ngokwengqondo kungenzeka ukuthi ihlale isikhathi eside futhi ingase ikushiye nenhliziyo ephukile ngesikhathi esithile. Ngokwesibonelo, endabeni yothando lwami lwasesikoleni, ubuntu bakhe obumnene nobumnene yibo obangidonsela kuye futhi bangigcina ngingumlutha. Futhi, kunzima ukuyeka ukuchoboza umngane wakho kunokwedlula ukweshela ongakunaki noma okuphatha kabi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kufanele Ngenzenjani Uma Ngithanda Umuntu Ongangithandi?
Kungani amanye ama-crush ehlala isikhathi eside kangaka?
Uma umuntu engenzi ngemizwa yakhe noma ahlangane nomuntu omusha, ukuchotshozwa kungaqhubeka iminyaka noma amashumi eminyaka. Lokhu kwenzeka ngoba abantu abaningi bazitika ngokuphotha amaphupho anemininingwane mayelana nokuchotshozwa kwabo emakhanda abo. Mina, ngokwesibonelo, ngikwenze isiko ngaphambi kokulala isikhathi eside ukuze ngicabange ukuthi kungaba njani KUBA nesikole sami.
Njalo ebusuku, ngangipenda izimo lapho sasivuma khona imizwa yethu komunye nomunye futhi sincibilike enjabulweni yokuba ndawonye kwethu. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngenza sengathi ngichitha isikhathi naye, ngigqoke intandokazi yami isidlo sakusihlwa ngubo, futhi ubengiyisa kule ndawo yokudlela edayisa ukudla okuphambili edolobheni noma enyonyoba embhedeni wami ebusuku. Kwezinye, ngangiba nezingxoxo ezinde ezithathayo naye - ekhanda lami - ngaze ngazumeka.
Nakuba lawa maphupho ayezwakala emnandi ekhanda lami, abuye angikhubaza ngokwesaba: “Kungenzekani ukube ubengazizwa ngendlela efanayo ngami?” Ngakhubazeka ngemicabango ephambene nemizwa yakhe ngami. Ngokusho komeluleki wami wesikole ngaleso sikhathi, uNksz Walters, yilokho kanye okwenza abanye abachobozwayo bahlale isikhathi eside futhi yilokho okwenza kube nzima ukulahlekelwa imizwa yokuqonywa.
"Ungena ujule ezweni lephupho kangangokuthi ukuthatha isinyathelo emhlabeni wangempela kuya kusabisa nakakhulu. Lapho iphupho lakho likhula, izigxobo zibonakala ziphakeme. Lokhu kwesaba kungakhubaza ube yisimo se-limbo, kukwenze ubambelele kulo mcabango ojabulisayo walokho okungenzeka - kodwa kungase kungenzeki," kusho uNksz Walters. Manje usuyayazi impendulo yombuzo othi: Kungani amanye ama-crush ahlala isikhathi eside kangaka?
Indlela Yokudlula I-Crush - Izindlela Eziyi-14
Kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nobunzima bokusuka ethandweni elingakuthandi noma ongaliboni ikusasa elingenzeka kuye. Mhlawumbe, njengami esikhathini esidlule, ubambekile esimweni lapho ungakwazi khona ukuveza imizwa yakho. Noma awukwazi ukukhohlwa ukuchotshozwa okubona nsuku zonke, ikakhulukazi njengoba kufanele uxoxe nabo njalo. Bese kanjani uthole phezu kokuchotshozwa ngokushesha esimweni esinjalo?
Enye yezinto ezibalulekile okufanele igcinwe engqondweni ngenkathi uzama ukweqa othile ukuthi akumele uzifake kukho. Wonke umuntu unejubane lakhe futhi kungaba iphutha ukusheshisa izinto. Sesikushilo lokho, kuyadingeka ukuthi uqale ukuqalisa isigaba 'sokuqhubekela phambili'. Ukuzonda ukuchotshozwa kwakho noma ukuwasusa ngokuphelele empilweni yakho akuyona indlela yokukwenza.
Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ukuqhubeka usuka ekuchosheni, ngingakweluleka ukuthi wehlise ijubane kuqala. Njengoba kukuhle ukuthandana noma ukuthatheka ngothile, ukuqhubekela phambili nokuqothuka kungaba kuhle futhi. Jabulela inqubo yokuphulukisa futhi ungabi nzima kuwe. Zinike okungenani amaviki ambalwa ukuze ubuyele emuva, futhi uvumele i-Universe ikunikeze izinto ezingcono.
Ukuze ngikusize ugqashule etohweni lemizwelo nezifiso zakho, ake ngibalandise iseluleko uNksz. Walters anginikeza sona ezinyangeni eziningi ezedlule. Ngethula kuwe amathiphu angu-14 okuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuchoboza insizwa noma intombazane obukade ucabanga ngayo:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 20 Izimpawu Akakho Kuwe - Ungachithi Isikhathi Sakho!
1. Veza imizwa yakho ku-crush yakho
Yisikhathi sokuzwakalisa imizwa yakho, ngoba leyo yindlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nayo. "Kufanele ukhiphe i-Band-Aid," kusho uNksz Walters, ngendlela eyiqiniso. “Ayikho nje enye indlela yokuqala inqubo yokuqeda uthando lwakho,” wengeza.
Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna ukuyeka ukuchoboza umngane, ofunda naye, osebenza naye, noma lowo muntu ongamazi onqamula naye esitimeleni esingaphansi komhlaba nsuku zonke, vele umtshele indlela ozizwa ngayo. Bacele a usuku lwekhofi noma iziphuzo noma mhlawumbe ukuhamba nje epaki eliseduze, futhi ubatshele ukuthi uyazithanda futhi ungathanda ukubona ukuthi ziyaphi.
Bangase bathi bazizwa ngendlela efanayo futhi ungathatha isinyathelo esilandelayo ebudlelwaneni, noma ukuthi abakwenzi, lapho-ke uzoba nokucaca lapho ume khona futhi uqale inqubo yokuphulukisa.
2. Zivumele ukuba udabuke
Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuzikhipha kulokhu ukuzivumela ukuthi uzwe imizwa yakho. Lokhu kuwukuthatha ngokuthi uyabatshela indlela ozizwa ngayo futhi abakuphindisi njengoba ubufisa. Gxila emizweni yokudumala futhi uzivumele ukuba lusizi.
I-Chrush ibangela amakhemikhali e-neurochemical afanayo afana nothando - i-Dopamine, i-oxytocin, ne-serotonin. Uma igcina ingamukelekile, uhlangabezana nemizwa ngendlela efanayo naleyo eququdayo umuzwa wokungabi nalutho ngemva kokuhlukana. Uma uzama ukuqeda ukuchotshozwa ongakunaki noma obedelela imizwa yakho, lowo muzwa wokulahlekelwa ungaba luhlaza futhi ube ngokoqobo nakakhulu.
Yamukele futhi uzwe ubukhulu bayo obugcwele, ukuze ekugcineni uyishiye ngemuva futhi uqhubekele phambili, esikhundleni sokusebenzisa amakhono angenampilo okubhekana nawo. I-crush yentsha ihlala isikhathi esingakanani? Akusekude kakhulu noma kunjalo. Ngakho-ke ungakhathazeki ngokuphuka kwenhliziyo yakho njengoba uzodlulela ekuchosheni okulandelayo ngokushesha.
3. Ukuqhubekela phambili ekucindezelekeni kuhlanganisa ukwabelana ngosizi lwakho
Ukunciphisa imizwa yethu kungase kubonakale njengento elula kakhulu ukuyenza, ikakhulukazi uma ikwenza uzizwe udaluliwe, ubuthakathaka, noma usengozini. Kodwa lokho ngeke kukusize ngalutho.
- Thola ukwesekwa kwabanye: Phendukela kumngane oseduze noma ingane yakini ukuze uthole ukwesekwa. Phakamisa imizwa yakho, ubatshele ukuthi uphatheke kabi. Khala uma udinga. Siyakwethembisa ukuthi maduze nje, izokwenza uzizwe ungcono
- Ungadli ngaso sonke isikhathi: Lokhu kukhululwa nini ukuchitha isikhathi nabangane abaseduze izokwenza ngokushesha uzizwe ulula futhi ungcono, kodwa ungakwenzi ngokweqile. Ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho kubalulekile, kodwa ukukhuluma ngayo ngokuphindaphindiwe futhi uququde ezinhlungwini ezifanayo ku-loop kufana nokucofa inxeba elingahluziwe.
- Hlala uphazamisekile: "Ukuze isilonda siphole, udinga ukuvumela utwayi lube kulo. Ngokufanayo, uma usukhiphe izinhlungu kanye ne-angst, kufanele uzivumele zixazulule ngaphambi kokuba zife. Ngakho-ke, gxilisa amandla akho ekuzigcineni uphazamisekile ngendlela ekhiqizayo uma ufuna ukuqhubekela phambili ekucindezelekeni ngokushesha," uNksz Walters wayengeluleke.
Lesi seluleko singimise endaweni enhle hhayi kuphela lapho ngizama ukuqeda ukuchotshozwa kwami kamuva, kodwa nasekubhekaneni nobuhlungu benhliziyo nokuhlukana.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uthando Olungavunyelwe: Kuyini Futhi Ungakuqeda Kanjani
4. Tshela abangani bakho ukuthi ukuchoboza kwakho kuyisihloko esingaguquki
Abangani bakho bakugcona ngomuntu omchobozayo, bakushiye uhlazekile njengebhungu elingenalwazi - Akugugi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uneminyaka engu-17 noma engu-30, ihlale ivusa ukusabela okufanayo, futhi ngingavuma, kuzwakala kumnandi kakhulu.
Kodwa futhi kukubuyisela endaweni efanayo yokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, okungase kukwenze uzizwe kabi ngemva kwephuzu. Ngakho-ke qhubeka utshele abangani bakho ukuthi unqume ukuqhubekela phambili kulolu daba oluhlangothini olulodwa futhi uthando lwakho luyisihloko esingaguquki sengxoxo lapha. Ukuqhubekela phambili ekucindezelekeni kudinga ukwesekwa yibo bonke osondelene nabo.
5. Ibanga elincane lihamba ibanga elide
Uma uzama ukuqeda ukuqothuka okubona nsuku zonke, ukuziqhelelanisa nabo kungaba yinzuzo enkulu ekususeni imizwa yakho ngabo. I umthetho wokungathintani kungase kuphumelele hhayi nje kuphela ekuqedeni ukuhlukana kodwa nasekuthatheni isinyathelo. Udinga isikhala esincane kubo ngalesi sikhathi, ukuze unciphise ubukhona babo empilweni yakho.
- Yenza izinguquko ezincane ukuze ugweme ukuzibona: Uma ufunda ekilasini elilodwa noma usebenza ehhovisi elifanayo, ukuzisusa ngokuphelele empilweni yakho kungase kungenzeki. Kodwa usengaziqhelelanisa nazo. Isibonelo, uma uhlezi wabelana ngebhentshi ekilasini, zama ukuzikhethela indawo ehlukile. Mhlawumbe hamba uhlale ne-BFF yakho noma othile ongakaze ukhulume naye ngaphambilini
- Shintsha uhlelo lwakho: Uma nithathe amakhefu ekhofi ndawonye emsebenzini, hlanganisa uhlelo lwakho ukuze ugweme ukuhlangana nalo noma ukuhlanganyela nabo ezingxoxweni ezikubuyisela esimweni sokuqala. Vele wenze izinto ezimbalwa ezifana nalezi ngokungaguquki, ukuze uyeke ukuzizwa uthinteke kakhulu ngokomzwelo ngokuchotshozwa kwakho.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngiqhubekela Kanjani Othandweni Olunohlangothi Olulodwa? Ungoti Wethu Uyakutshela...
6. Yeka ukucupha ama-akhawunti abo ezinkundla zokuxhumana
Ukuze uqhubeke nokweshela ongakunaki noma lowo othandana naye kodwa ongazizwa ngendlela efanayo, udinga yekani ukubacupha ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Asikwehluleli, besikhona sonke. Kodwa ayikho indlela ongaphumelela ngayo ukuyeka ukuchoboza othile uma ulandela i-Instagram yakhe ngo-2 ekuseni noma ubheka izindaba zabo ngomzuzu athunyelwa ngawo.
Ukubabona behlanganyela nomunye umuntu noma bebukeka bemuhle esithombeni kuzoyonakalisa ngokuphelele intuthuko yakho kuze kube manje. Uma ukungabi nobungane noma ukuvimba kubonakala kukhulu kakhulu, yeka ukulandela/thulisa/khawula iphrofayela yabo uze uthole isibambo semizwa yakho. Melana nesifiso sokuqhubeka nokubuyela kumaphrofayili abo ezinkundla zokuxhumana, ngoba ngeke kufeze enye inhloso ngaphandle kokuphakela yona kanye imizwa ozama ukuyinqoba.
Uma uphumile ukuphuza, beka abangani bakho ukuba balawule umsebenzi ocingweni lwakho ukuze ungehli ekuthandeni izithombe zabo ezineminyaka engu-10 ubudala noma, okubi nakakhulu, udakwe ubashayela ucingo. Udinga isistimu yakho yokwesekwa ukuthi ibe ngasohlangothini lwakho ngokuqaphile manje.
7. Ibanga libandakanya ukungathumeli imiyalezo
Ake ngikupela lokhu. Gcina ibanga elithile lapho uzama ukuyeka ukuchoboza umngane noma uzama ukudlula ukuchotshozwa okubona nsuku zonke. Thatha zonke izinhlobo zokuxhumana. Lapho imizwa yakho iba ngcono kuwe, ungaqali ukuthumela imiyalezo kabili ngoba nje ubucabanga ukuthi 'umthetho wokungathunyelelwa imiyalezo' awukho ohlwini lwami lwezeluleko.
Uma, esikhathini esidlule, benibhalelana imiyalezo noma nikhuluma nobabili kaningi, tshela i-crush yakho ngesizotha ukuthi udinga indawo ethile (noma ungasho ukuthi kungenxa yokuzila ukudla okudijithali) futhi ungakujabulela uma bengakuthintanga isikhathi eside. Sithembe, uzozizwa ngendlela ehlukile ngabo emasontweni ambalwa.
8. Hlala umatasatasa ukuze ulahlekelwe imizwa yokuqothuka
Nakuba umsebenzi ungaba umlaphi omkhulu uma kuziwa ekuqhubekeleni phambili empilweni kusukela ekuqotheni, ungamane uziphonse emsebenzini noma ekufundeni. Zinike isikhathi sokujabulela imisebenzi oyithandayo. Kungaba ukudlala umdlalo, ukufunda, ukudansa, ukwenza ingadi, ukudlala insimbi yomculo, izinto zokuzilibazisa kungaba ukwelapha.
- Bhalisela ikilasi lokupheka noma lokubhaka: Uma ufuna ukuphelelisa lawo ma-croissants othanda ukuwabhaka, manje yisikhathi!
- Ziphonsele inselelo: Zibekele izinselele ezinjengokufunda inombolo ethile yezincwadi ngenyanga noma ukuhamba inombolo ethile yamamayela ngosuku ukuze uhlale ukhiqiza
- Hlela empilweni yakho: Dala isimiso esibandakanya ukubhala, ukuzindla, ukuthenga igrosa, nokwenza okuthile okusha njalo nabangani bakho. Gcina usuku lwakho lumatasa ngokuphelele
9. Yamukela ukuthi kuzoba buhlungu
Naphezu kwakho konke ukwesekwa kochwepheshe nezeluleko zochwepheshe zokungisiza ukuba ngizulazule okuhlangenwe nakho kwami kokuqala kosizi, akubanga lula ukunqoba ukukhangwa okukhulu engangikuzwa ngaye. Ukubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo akunakugwenywa. Ngangizonda ukuthi angeke ngisajabulela ukuba naye ngaphandle kokuzwa ifindo engqungqutheleni yami. Ukuxoxa ngendlela engangizizwa ngayo kwabushintsha ngandlela-thile ubungane bethu. Nokuthi bekufanele manje ngimgweme ngesizathu esithile noma okunye, esikhundleni sokukwazi ukuhlala ngingabangane.
Kungakhathaleki ukuthi ukusiphi isigaba sempilo, futhi noma uzama ukweqa ukuqothuka okubona nsuku zonke noma othile ongeke uphinde umbone, yamukela ukuthi kuzoba buhlungu ngaphambi kokuba uphole. Ungalindeli ukuthi izinto zikujike ngomlingo.
10. Zithokozise futhi uyeke ukucabanga "Ingabe ama-crush ahlala unomphela?"
Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthi i-crush iphele? Impendulo yalo mbuzo incike kuwe ngokuphelele. Uma uhlala ugxilile ekuchosheni kwakho, kuzoba nzima nakakhulu ukuqhubeka. Kodwa ingabe ukuchotshozwa kuhlala phakade? Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi, abakwenzi ngempela.
- Kholwa ukuthi ngeke kuhlale phakade: Isikhathi esithile, uzozizwa ubuhlungu futhi ucabange ukuthi ngeke kuphele. Kodwa sithembe uma sikutshela, le mizwa ngeke ihlale unomphela
- Yenza izinto ezikujabulisayo: Yamukela okuhlangenwe nakho okusha, phuma, hlangana nabantu abathile abakwenza uzizwe unamandla, uhlanganyele nabangane bakudala - Ngamafuphi, jabula futhi mhlawumbe uthuthukise imizwa yomuntu omusha.
Lezi zikhathi ezilula zizosiza ukususa ingqondo yakho ebuhlungwini bokusuka ekuchosheni futhi kwenze kube lula kuwe ukuthi wenze isiqalo esisha.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-17 Sekuyisikhathi Sokuyeka Ukulandela Intombazane Oyithandayo Bese Uhlehla
11. Ungakhohlwa kanjani ukuchotshozwa? Qalisa esigcawini sokuqomisana
Kufanele siphinde sihlole lo mbuzo: Kungani amanye ama-crush ehlala isikhathi eside kangaka? Kungenxa yokuthi awukwenzi ngemizwa yakho noma awuzivumeli ukuthi uhlangane nomuntu omusha. Gcina lezi zinto engqondweni:
- Impilo ayikapheli: Ukuze uqede ukuchotshozwa ngokushesha, kufanele wenze isikhala enhliziyweni yakho nempilo yakho ukuze uthole ithuba lokuba nesibalo esisha sothando. Ngakho-ke, uma usuzinike isikhathi sokuphulukisa futhi usendaweni engcono ngokomzwelo, sebenza endaweni yokuphola
- Ngena ezinhlelweni zokusebenza: Landa uhlelo lokusebenza lokuqomisana olushisa kakhulu, bhala iphrofayili yokuqomisana egqamayo, bese uthola ukuswayipha
- Yiba khona ngokomzwelo: Phuma ngezinsuku, futhi uma uhlangana nomuntu omthandayo, ungazibambeli ekumvumele angene empilweni yakho. Thatha isikhathi sakho, kodwa vumela omunye umuntu akuthande futhi akunake
I-12. Zinakekele
Phuza amanzi anele, qala ikilasi lokudansa, joyina iklabhu yezincwadi, noma uqale ukuzibophezela kuleyo ndlela yokujima oyenze ezinyangeni ezedlule. Nakuba umsebenzi omusha wokuzilibazisa uzofika uwusizo ukukuphazamisa futhi ugcine umatasa kukho konke okunye ngaphandle kokuchotshozwa kwakho, udinga futhi ukuchitha isikhathi sakho uzondla futhi uzinakekele.
Uma usuka ekuchosheni, kulula kakhulu ukunyakaza ngezandla ezijulukile nemicabango engakhululekile mayelana nendlela abangakuthandi ngayo. Futhi nakuba lokho kulungile futhi kufaneleka isikhathi esithile, ungazilahleki ohlelweni. Qhubeka uhlale umatasa empilweni yakho nasezintweni oziphishekelayo ngaphandle kokuthatheka kakhulu. Bhuka lokho kukhethwa kwezinwele noma uhambe otshanini ngezinyawo zakho ezingenalutho. Sekuyisikhathi sokuqhamuka imibono yokuzinakekela ezisebenzela imizwa yakho engenacala yobuhlungu.
13. Faka uhlobo oluthile loshintsho lwempilo
Asikuceli ukuthi usuke e-California uye e-Wisconsin, kodwa uhlobo oluthile loshintsho lwempilo oluhloniphekile lungasiza ukubeka izinto ngendlela efanele kuwe. Ukuze ubhekane nayo yonke le mizwa enamandla osuyiqongelele kulo muntu, udinga ukuhlela kabusha ingqondo yakho kancane ukuze ubone ukuthi lolu akulona uthando lweqiniso.
- Thola leso silwane ohlale uhlela ukusithola: Ingabe manje yisikhathi sokuthola lowo mdlwane umngane wakho abekutshela ngawo?
- Shintsha ukubukeka kwakho: Kuyasiza njalo ukuthola uhlobo oluthile lokugunda izinwele okusha, noma ukutshala imali kusiketi noma izicathulo obusaba kakhulu ukuzizama ngaphambili.
- Hamba ohambweni olufushane: Cabangela ukuthatha ikhefu lempelasonto ukuze uxhumane futhi nawe. Noma hamba uyodoba nabangani bakho yize ubulokhu unokungabaza ngakho
Le misebenzi ihloselwe ukukukwenza uqaphele ukuthi kuningi kakhulu ekuphileni kunokuchotshozwa kwakho kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo okuza nakho. Kuzokunikeza umuzwa omuhle wenhlalakahle ukuba phakathi kwalabo obathandayo, futhi wenze into obuhlale usaba ukuyizama.
14. Thola usizo lochwepheshe ukuze uqhubeke usuka ekuchosheni ngendlela enempilo
Noma kwakungelona uthando lwempilo yakho, kwakusewukuchoboza kwangempela okwakukhipha endleleni kancane. Awekho amahloni ngokuzizwa udabukile ngenxa yalokho, noma ukucela usizo lokubhekana nakho. Eqinisweni, kungenzeka ukuthi ama-crush angashiya umthelela ohlala njalo ngenxa yakho konke ukungaqiniseki, futhi phusha futhi udonse eliza naleyo zibalo.
Abayena umuntu omubi, bavele bakushiye udabukile. Ubuzothola usizo lokubhekana nokushiya ubuhlobo besikhathi eside; ngendlela efanayo, cabanga ukukhuluma nochwepheshe lapho uzama ukuqhubekela phambili kusuka ekuthatheni. Okuhle ukuthi, i-Bonobology inephaneli yabeluleki abanekhono abangochwepheshe kuphela chofoza kude.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ungaqhubeka kanjani nokuchoboza okungashiyi ingqondo yakho? Ukuze ukhohlwe ukuchotshozwa ngokushesha, chitha isikhathi nabantu obathandayo, futhi uthembele kusistimu yakho yokwesekwa. Kukusiza ukuthi uzizwe unamandla futhi uzwe imizwa eminingi kunobuhlungu nje
- Ngokungafani nama-crush osaziwayo, ukuchotshozwa kwangempela kungahlala iminyaka. Futhi lapho leyo mizwa ingafaneleki, ingashiya umuzwa othile ephazamisekile
- Zama ukunqamula ukuxhumana ne-crush yakho ngangokunokwenzeka. Awuyona into encane, uyazigcina nje
- Zinakekele ngokuzikhandla, uphinde uhlanganyele esigcawini sokuthandana, futhi uzame izinto ezintsha zokuzilibazisa noma imisebenzi
Lesi seluleko sendlela yokuqeda ukuqothuka kwangisiza ukuba ngibhekane nesimo - kanye nemizwa yami - ngendlela efanele. Ngemva kokuthula okungangonyaka, mina nomngane wami wesikole sathinta isisekelo futhi savuselela ubungane bethu. Saphinda saba abangani, ngaphandle kwami kwaba nenhliziyo egijimayo lapho ngimbona. Sagcina sizinzile. Lowo mfana onomusa, omnene wasesikoleni usengumngane othandekayo futhi eyingxenye yokuphila kwami kuze kube namuhla. Ngethemba ukuthi nawe, ungazuza kuzo zonke izeluleko engabelana ngazo futhi udlule imizwa yakho ngaphandle kokulimala ngenxa yobuhlungu obungenacala obuvela ekuthuthukiseni ukuchotshozwa.
Lesi sihloko sabuyekezwa ngo-Agasti 2023.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Uthando aluwona umuzwa wezinga eliphezulu. Uthando alukwenzi uzizwe unesifiso sokufuna umuntu njengoba kwenzeka ekuthathekeni noma ekuqotheni. Ukuchoboza kungakwenza uzizwe ungaphumuli, kanti uthando luzokwehlisa umoya. Uma usothandweni, ukuphindiselana komzwelo kungase kungabi yinto ehamba phambili yakho. Uma une-crush, kunesidingo sokuxhumanisa ngokushesha nomuntu.
Ayikho impendulo efanele kulo mbuzo ngoba iyohlala ihluka ngokushintsha kwezimo zakho. Uma crush yakho ikwenze kwacaca ukuthi abekho kuwe, kufanele uzame ukuqhubeka futhi uthole injabulo nabanye abantu empilweni yakho. Awukho umshini ongavala yonke imizwa yakho ngomuntu ngendlela eyisimanga, kodwa uma uzithola usesimweni esingenathemba, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uqale ukwehlisa ijubane futhi unyathele amabhuleki.
Uma uzizwa unjalo ukuwela umuntu ngokushesha okukhulu kodwa futhi, amathuba ukuthi awuzange uyeke ukuwathanda kwasekuqaleni. Akwenzeki ukuthi udlule komunye umuntu bese uqala ukumcindezela futhi. Mhlawumbe uzikhohlise ngokuthi ungaphezu kwabo kodwa awusakwazi ukufihla iqiniso. Mhlawumbe imizwa ecindezelwe ekugcineni isiyitholile indlela yokuphuma manje njengoba ukuchotshozwa kwakho kubonakala kuzizwa ngendlela efanayo futhi.
Ngolimi lwengqondo, ukuchotshozwa okuqhubekayo, okuhlala njalo kubizwa ngokuthi 'i-limerence,' echaza isigaba esifana nokuchoboza ebuhlotsheni. Ngakho-ke, ukuqothuka kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ngaphambi kokuphenduka uthando? Uma usondelana kakhulu ne-crush yakho phakathi nalesi sigaba, i-crush ishintsha ngokushesha kakhulu othandweni.
27 Izimpawu Zokudubula Okuqinisekile I-Crush Yakho Iyakuthanda
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
