Wazi Kanjani Ukuthi Usebudlelwaneni Bohlangothi Olulodwa? 13 Izimpawu

U-Gunther kanye no-Rachel, wena kanye nalowo profesa waseNgilandi, u-Donald Trump kanye ne-China, sonke sizibonile izimo zobudlelwano obuhlangothi olulodwa nxazonke zethu. Nakuba konke kumnandi futhi kuyimidlalo uma kwenzeka ku-TV, lapho into efanayo yenzeka empilweni yakho, ungase empeleni ugcine ungaziboni izimpawu ezikhanyayo. 

Ngemuva kwakho konke, kungani ungafuna ukubhekana nezimpawu? Ukuvuma iqiniso lokuthi ungase ube sebudlelwaneni bohlangothi olulodwa kuyisambulo sonke esingakuhlehlisa ukufuna ukuthola noma ukuvuma. Cha ngiyabonga, ngizohlala ku-dynamic yami enobuthi elinye iviki ngaphambi kokuthi ngicabange ngakho!

Kodwa uma konke sekuba nzima kakhulu futhi kuba sobala kabuhlungu ukuthi ugxile kakhulu ngokomzwelo kumuntu ongazizwa ngendlela efanayo nawe, udinga ukubhekana nenselele ekamelweni futhi uyeke ukungazinaki izimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlangothini olulodwa ku-dynamic yakho. Ukuze sikusize ubhekane naleli qiniso elingajabulisi, kulesi sihloko, sihlola i-psychology yobudlelwano obuhlangothini olulodwa, izimbangela, izimpawu, futhi sixoxe ngendlela eya phambili, ngokubonisana noDkt . Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), ogxile ekwelulekeni kobudlelwano kanye nokwelashwa kokuziphatha okunengqondo.

Buyini Ubudlelwano Bohlangothi Olulodwa?

Zibone ngeso lengqondo ubona inja enhle kakhulu emhlabeni. Uphonswe ngokuphelele indlela ethandeka ngayo le pooch futhi unquma ukumbiza ize kuwe. Uma inja ikubuka ngekhona lamehlo ayo futhi inganyakazi umsipha naphezu kwezingcingo zakho, lokho kuhle kakhulu ukuthi ubuhlobo obuhlangene buyini.

Amahlaya eceleni, ubuhlobo obunjengalobu ngokuvamile bubonisa ukungezwani kwemizwa phakathi kwabalingani, ukungqubuzana kokulindelwe, umzamo, nothando. Ekuguquguqukeni okunempilo, umlingani ngamunye uyazi ukuthi umi kuphi, ukuthi yini okulindelekile futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, uzizwa eqinisekisiwe.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa buyilapho omunye umlingani engazizwa ngendlela efanayo ngomunye. Bangase babe namazinga ahlukahlukene othando, bangase bangavumelani ngemigomo yesikhathi esizayo, futhi kukhona ukuntuleka kokulinganisela. Omunye umlingani utshala isikhathi esiningi, amandla, izinsiza, kanye nemizwa esibophweni kunomunye umlingani, okuholela ekuntulekeni okusobala komzamo ebudlelwaneni obuvela kolunye uhlangothi.

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Yini Ebangela Ubudlelwano Bohlangothi Olulodwa—Izici Eziyisi-5 Ezibalulekile

Uma ubheka phezulu, lokhu kuzwakala kubi, akunjalo? Kungase kukuholele ekuzibuzeni, kungani umuntu engafuna ngokuzithandela ukuba yingxenye yalolu hlobo lokuguquguquka? UDkt. Bhonsle uchaza ukuthi ngokuvamile ukuphika noma izinkinga zomuntu siqu ezingokomzwelo nezingokwengqondo zingamgcina exhumene nokuxhumana okunjalo. Ukuze uthole ukuqonda okungcono, ake sibheke ngokujulile ukuthi yini ebangela ubudlelwano obuhlangothini olulodwa:

1. Ukuzithanda nokungazethembi

“Izizathu ezinkulu zalezi zinguquko ukungabaza kanye nezinhlobo eziningi zokungazethembi ,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. “Bangase bangakholwa ukuthi othile angake abafune, futhi lokho abanakho kungcono kakhulu abangakuthola. Lonke umqondo wokuthi ‘okuthile kungcono kunokungalutho’. Ukungazethembi kwenza abantu bakholelwe ukuthi lokhu kuphela kwento abayoba nayo futhi akukho okunye okuzoza ngendlela yabo.”

2. Isidingo esikhulu sokuthandwa

“Ubuhlobo bohlangothi olulodwa bubangelwa into efanayo ebangela indlala lapho ungadlisiwe; isidingo.Lapho ungasuthisi isifiso sakho sothando nokunakwa, uyogcina usuyingxenye yobuhlobo lapho uzizwa untula ngokucacile umzamo nokubuyisela okuthile kumlingani wakho,” kuchaza uDkt. Bhonsle. Ngethemba lokuthola ukwaneliseka okungokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni, kungenzeka uzivumele ukuthi ugxumele kokuguquguqukayo owawazi ukuthi ngeke kubonise ukunakekelwa nothando.

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3. Izimo zesimo nazo zingase zibe necala

Uma isibopho senu siphilile njengamanje ngokubuyiselwana kothando okufanayo, akusho ukuthi ngeke kufike isigaba lapho uqala ukuzizwa sengathi uwedwa ebudlelwaneni . Mhlawumbe udinga ukuhamba ngenxa yomsebenzi, noma umlingani wakho udinga ukuba seduze nomndeni wakhe uma kwenzeka othile egula. Lapho kuvela izinto ongakwazi ukuzilawula, ungase ubhekane nokuthile okufana nokungalingani kwemizwa.

4. Ukukhula ngendlela ehlukile

“Lapho imigomo yenu iba mikhulu kunothando enake nalubonisa omunye nomunye, kunzima ukusekela umfutho onempilo.

"Mhlawumbe izimo zakho zishintsha ngezindlela ezahlukene, futhi mhlawumbe izinto ezincane owawuzivumela ekuqaleni manje seziba yizinto eziphula izivumelwano zobudlelwano ezingabekezeleleki . Lezi zingcindezi zokuphila zingagcina seziba yizinto ezicindezelayo. Awukaze uhloselwe ukuba wedwa ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kuhlale kufanele kube yinto ehlanganyelwe."

Isayikholoji yobudlelwano bohlangothi olulodwa isitshela ukuthi yinto engenzeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kungenzeka ukuthi uye wayivumela ukuthi ishelele lapho umlingani wakho ehlala ekuphazamisa, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungase kugcine kukwenza ugweme izingcingo zabo futhi uzame ukuthola "isikhala sakho" esingaphezu kwalokho okufanele. 

5. Okulindelwe okuhlukile

Lapho okulindelekile kuqala ukwehluka, ungase uqale ukuzizwa unganakiwe

Ukuntuleka kwamalebula kungagcina kuholela ekulindelweni okuhluke kakhulu umbhangqwana okungenzeka ube nakho komunye nomunye. Ngisho noma kunelebula okuvunyelwene ngayo ehilelekile, ukuphatha okulindelekile akuhlali kuyinto elula kakhulu. Uma ningekho ekhasini elilodwa ngokuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba ndawonye kinina nobabili, ningagcina senithandana nohlangothi olulodwa. 

Izimpawu eziyi-13 Zobudlelwane Ohlangothi olulodwa 

Abantu bayathanda ukuphila ngokuphika. Kungani ungafuna ukubhekana neqiniso elibuhlungu kuyilapho ungazikhohlisa ukuze ukholelwe ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile? Kodwa futhi, uma ubukholelwa ngempela ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile, ubungeke ube lapha ufunda lesi sihloko. Uma ubukade ubhekene nomuzwa ophithizelayo wokuthi kukhona uhlobo oluthile lokungalingani ku-equation yakho nophathina wakho, ake sikusize uthole ukucaciseleka ngokuhlola izimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlangothi olulodwa:

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1. Ukungakhulumisani kahle 

Ingabe kukhona izinto ezimbalwa okugwema ukukhuluma ngazo ngamandla akho, wesaba ukuthi zizoletha impi embi kakhulu? Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho akazami ngisho nokuqala izingxoxo eziningi njengawe. Nakuba ungase uzame ukuxazulula izinkinga zobudlelwano ngokusebenzisa ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo, umlingani wakho angase ahambe esikhundleni salokho, athi akafuni ukuba nale ngxoxo njengamanje. Uma kunguwe owenza yonke imizamo yokuxhumana nomlingani wakho nokugcina uxhumano luphila futhi umlingani wakho engaphindiseli ngisho nokulingana, kungenye yezimpawu ezicacile zobudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa.

2. Ngabe ugobela isithandwa sakho?

Lapho ebuzwa ngomunye wamafulegi abomvu agqama kakhulu obudlelwano bohlangothi olulodwa, uDkt. Bhonsle wakhetha ukuthi kwakungeyona into eza kuqala kumlingani womuntu. “Uba isidlakela kumlingani wakho; uyingxenye yempilo yakhe hhayi umuntu onethonya elingenakucimeka kukho. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubeka umlingani wakho ngaphezu kwesimiso sakho, umsebenzi wakho, impilo yakho yezenhlalakahle, ngisho nemithwalo yemfanelo yomndeni kodwa ababuyiseli ngendlela efanayo. Kunalokho, bakwenzela isikhathi nendawo kuphela uma kumlungele,” uyachaza. 

3. Akukho ukuphindaphinda komzamo

Ukuntuleka komzamo ebudlelwaneni obuvela esiphethweni sozakwethu oyedwa kumemeza ukuthi ukuxhumana akuhlangene. Ngenkathi ungaphandle uzama ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi ilondolo yozakwenu ihlanzekile futhi i-ayinwe emhlanganweni wabo ozayo, ukujwayele kakhulu ukuthi angalokothi akusize nganoma yini lapho isidingo singase siphakame. Kuyavunywa, umzamo owenzayo ungase ungabi u-butler-esque, kodwa uyawuthola umqondo. 

Ungase ungaboni umlingani wakho ezama ukukusekela, ukukusiza ngokwezezimali, noma ukuvele abe nawe, ebeka indawo yakhe kuqala kunezinkinga zakho. Sekushiwo lokho, uDkt. Bhonsle usixwayisa ngokuthi ukulinganisa “imizamo” ebuhlotsheni kuvame ukucabangela kakhulu futhi kufanele kwenziwe ngokucabangela.

“Kunzima kakhulu ukukala umzamo.Abanye bangase bafake umzamo owengeziwe wengqondo kunabanye, okuyinto engenakulinganiswa ngempela. Ezimweni eziningi, kufanele ibonakale, buza imibuzo efana nale:

• Ingabe umlingani wami wenze ukuphila kwami ​​kwaba mnandi futhi kujabulise?
• Ingabe bangenze ngakhululeka?
• Ingabe zingenze ngaba nempilo enhle ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo?
• Ingabe baye bangisiza ngokwezimali ngesikhathi ngisidinga?
• Owethu a ubuhlobo obunempilo?

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi: “Kuwukupha bese uthatha, ibhalansi okudingeka uyishaye.

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4. Kukhona ukuntuleka kokuhloniphana

Ingabe umlingani wakho uyawushaya indiva umbono wakho njengodaka? Ingabe bayakuphazamisa ngenkathi ukhuluma, futhi ingxoxo nabo izwakale sengathi balinde bona nje ukuze baqale ukukhuluma futhi? Lokhu kuziphatha kungase kubonakale kungabalulekile kodwa kuvame ukubangelwa ukungabi nenhlonipho. Uma umlingani wakho engakuhloniphi , ngokuvamile kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi awusho lutho kuye ngoba kuholela ekubeni ungabi nandaba nezenzo zakhe, ukuziphatha kwakhe, kanye nokukhetha kwakhe.

“Lapho umuntu engamhloniphi umngane wakhe womshado, angase acabange, ‘Esihogweni ngalokho engikudingayo, izinto engizifunayo zibaluleke kakhulu’,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. "Izidingo zakho zingagcina sezithathwa njengezingekho ebudlelwaneni, njengoba umlingani wakho ekholelwa ukuthi ezakhe zigqame kakhulu futhi zivelele. Ngenxa yalokho, kungenzeka ukuthi kungabi nenhlonipho." 

5. Uhlala ukhathazeka ngokuthi ubuhlobo bungase buphele maduze 

Uthando kufanele lukwenze uzizwe uphephile, kodwa uthando oluhambisana nohlangothi olulodwa lunemiphumela ephambene nalokho. Uma umyalezo wombhalo ofana nokuthi “Lalela” ovela kumlingani wakho ukwenza wesabe okubi kakhulu, wesabe kuze kube yilapho umyalezo wakhe olandelayo ufika esikrinini sakho, futhi uhlala ukhathazekile ngokuthi umlingani wakho usezohlukana nawe , kukhombisa ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho bubuthakathaka kangakanani ngempela.

Ukuhlala uphila nalo muzwa wokubhujiswa okusondelayo kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zobudlelwano bohlangothi olulodwa. “Kufana nenkemba yaseDamocles,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. “Lapho inkosi ibona ukuthi kunenkemba ilenga ekhanda layo, yayeka ukujabulela ukuphila.” 

6. Ubudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa bungase bukushiye ungalondekile

Njengoba sibonile, ukungazethembi kungenye yezizathu ezinkulu ezenza abantu bangene futhi bahlale bebambeke ebudlelwaneni obunohlangothi olulodwa. Inkinga ukuthi uma uhlala isikhathi eside, ukungazethembi kwakho kuba kubi kakhulu, kuqala umjikelezo omubi oqeda umuzwa wakho wokuzibona. Ungase uvame ukucabanga ngaphakathi kuwe, “Ngizizwa sengathi nginikela ngaphezu kwalokho engikutholayo ebudlelwaneni bami”, kodwa awukwazi ukucela lokho okudingayo noma ukuqunga isibindi sokuhamba ngoba lapho izidingo zakho zinganakwa kakhulu, kulapho ugcina uzibuza khona ukubaluleka kwakho, kuze kube seqophelweni lapho ukungazethembi kwakho kanye nokuzethemba okuphansi kungaholela ekukholweni ukuthi yilokhu okufanele.

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi: “Lapho umzamo uvela kuwe njalo, ungadala ukungazethembi nosizi olukhulu,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle, “ugcina ukholelwa ukuthi lolu wuthando olungcono kakhulu nesithunzi ongasithola, okuholela ezindabeni eziningi zokungazethembi.”

7. Uthando oluhlangothi olulodwa luyakuqeda emoyeni 

Ubudlelwano nakanjani buhamba phakathi kwezikhathi ezinhle nezimbi, kodwa uma uyingxenye yobudlelwano obunokulinganisela, obunempilo, naphezu kwazo zonke izinselele, ukuba nabanye bakho ababalulekile kukukhulisa ngokomzwelo. Uma lokho bekungeyona isipiliyoni sakho futhi esikhundleni sokutshala imali yakho ngokwengeziwe ebudlelwaneni lapho ungatholi lutho ngaphandle kwembuyiselo kukushiya uzizwa ukhathele emoyeni, kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi uwedwa othandweni.    

Uma uzizwa sengathi uwedwa ebudlelwaneni , ngokwemvelo uzozama ukwenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuze uzizwe ungokoqobo. Lapho zonke izipho, izingcingo (oziqalayo), kanye nezipho zigcina zikunqobe, uzosala uzizwa ukhathele ngenxa yalokho.

8. Kunokuntuleka okukhulu kwamalebula 

Ukushoda kwamalebula noma ukucaciseleka kokuthi ume kuphi nophathina wakho nakho kuphakathi kwezimpawu ezibomvu zobudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa ngoba kuvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi akuthathe kalula. Mhlawumbe unethemba lobudlelwane obukhethekile kuyilapho umlingani wakho egwema le ngxoxo ngoba efuna “ukuhamba nokugeleza”. 

UDkt. Bhonsle usitshela ukubaluleka kokusungula amalebula kusenesikhathi. “Izimpawu zokuthi nithanda uhlangothi olulodwa angeke zenzeke, kumele uphenye ukuthi ngabe kuhlobene yini kwasekuqaleni, engikubonile kwenzeka ukuthi abantu ababili bangase bakhulume unyaka wonke, kodwa uma ubabuza ukuthi bangobani, bathi, ‘Hhayi, besingakayibeki ilebula ngempela’. 

"Ukuthumela imiyalezo ethi 'Ngiyakukhumbula' kanye nokuqabulana nge-emoji kumlingani wakho njalo ebusuku akusho ukuthi ningaba nobudlelwano. Uma ungalubhali usawoti noshukela wakho, uzogcina udle itiye elinosawoti kanye ne-meatloaf emnandi. Kunjalo nangokuntula amalebula ebudlelwaneni - kuyaphazamisa izinto. Ngokuxhumana okucacile, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi niyini komunye nomunye."

9. Awukhulumi ngekusasa 

Isimo sengqondo sokuthi “sizowela lelo bhuloho uma sifika kulo” asibonisi ubudlelwano bothando, hhayi uma ufuna bukhule bube yinto ebucayi nenenjongo noma kunjalo. Ukuze uqinise ubudlelwano futhi usebenzele ikusasa okwabelwana ngalo, udinga ukuxoxa ngezinhloso zakho zesikhathi esizayo, ukuthi yini eniyifunayo nobabili, nokuthi nilindele ukuthi impilo yenu iphumelele kanjani.

Uma umlingani oyedwa engatshaliwe ebudlelwaneni njengomnye, ngeke acabange kakhulu ngekusasa. Uma "Usibona kuphi eminyakeni emi-5 ezayo?" uma umlingani wakho ehlangabezana nezinkinga zenethiwekhi ngokuzumayo, kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi awusho lutho kuye. 

10. Umlingani wakho ucabanga ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile 

Njengazo zonke iziboshwa ku-movie ethi Shawshank Redemption , umlingani wakho ukholelwa ukuthi akanacala kuzo zonke izenzo zobugebengu. Vele, unguRed (Morgan Freeman), okuwukuphela komuntu onecala lapho. Uma ubabhekana nabo ngokuthi abanandaba ngokwanele, ungase ushaywe ngebhomu lokukhanyisa igesi njengokuthi, “Uyahlanya, akulona iqiniso lelo. Udinga ukuphatha kangcono okulindelwe .”

Uzakwenu uzokwenza ukholwe ukuthi uyahlanya ngisho nokucabanga ukuthi ngeke atshale imali njengawe noma ulindele okuncane kuyena. Lesi ngesinye sezimpawu ezithile nokho okunzima ukuzihlonza zokuthi uwedwa ebudlelwaneni futhi uzinikela kakhulu kumuntu ongakuthandi futhi okwazisa ngendlela okufanele ube yiyo. 

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11. Nguwe njalo olungisayo 

Ngemva kwempi enkulu, ubani oqala ukubuyisana? Uma uqaphela ukuthi nguwe ozama ukulungisa izinto ngaso sonke isikhathi, mhlawumbe umlingani wakho usazisa isikhathi sokuphumula ngaphezu kwalokho obungathanda ukuba akwenze. Kodwa uma uzama ukuvumelanisa imizuzu engamashumi amathathu nanhlanu ngemva kokulwa ngaphandle kokunikeza umlingani wakho igumbi lokuphefumula, lesi sibonelo asisebenzi kuwe ngempela. Noma kunjalo, cabanga ukuthi ingabe uwena oxolisa njalo futhi uzama ukulungisa izinkinga, noma uma uhlala usemsebenzini wokulawula umonakalo. Uma kunjalo, kuyindaba yakudala yothando lohlangothi olulodwa.  

12. Umaqondana wakho akanandaba kakhulu

Ingabe nenze i-scrapbook egcwele izithombe zenu nobabili, wonke amathikithi e-movie owake wawathenga, nazo zonke izinkumbulo ozikhumbulayo ngosuku lwazo? Futhi ingabe bakutholele ijezi ngokubuyisela? Mhlawumbe ubatshele ngomhlangano obalulekile ozayo emsebenzini futhi babonakala bekhohliwe ngawo ezinsukwini ezi-2 kamuva. Noma mhlawumbe awazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi usuku lwakho lokuzalwa lunini. Noma kade nindawonye kodwa inombolo yakho abayazi ngekhanda. 

Nakuba ungase ufune ukuzilahla lezi zenzo “njengento engasho lutho” ngoba uzizwa uphelelwe yithemba, kufanele uvume njalo uma kwenzeka into efana nale, iyahlaba. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi izenzo zomlingani wakho zikutshela ukuthi akanandaba nawe kakhulu. Indlela abaqhubeka ngayo bengakunaki nezinto ezibalulekile kuwe ingenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zobudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa.

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13. Kukhona ukungeneliseki jikelele 

Ngaphandle kwalapho ubulokhu uphenya lesi sihloko kuze kube manje, kungenzeka ukubambile kulokhu. Ebudlelwaneni bohlangothi olulodwa, awuzizwa ikakhulukazi phezu kwenyanga mayelana nokuxhumana onakho nomlingani wakho. Cishe usuvele wazi ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle futhi uphila nomuzwa wokungeneliseki nokudumala njalo. Okwakho akufani nhlobo nobudlelwano bokumamatheka obubona ku-Instagram. Londoloza amagama-ncazo angu-#couplegoals kanye nezithombe ozishuthe zona ezinhle zomunye uzakwethu, awutholi okuningi kulobu budlelwano. 

Ungazi Kanjani Uma Sekuyisikhathi Sokusuka Ebudlelwaneni Bohlangothi Olulodwa 

Ngisho noma izimpawu zokuba sebuhlotsheni bohlangothi olulodwa zibonakala kakhulu, abantu bavame ukubambelela ethembeni lokuthi uma bezama kancane, banikeze kancane, omunye umuntu uzobuyisela imizwa yakhe. Ngokudabukisayo, ezikhathini eziningi, leli themba lingamanga futhi elikwenzayo nje kukushiya ulimele ngokomzwelo futhi liqede ukuzethemba kwakho. 

UDkt. Bhonsle uyaphinda, “Ebudlelwaneni obunohlangothi olulodwa, izithembiso ezingafezwanga nokudumazeka okuphindaphindiwe kungase kucekele phansi ukuzethemba kwakho kanye nenhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo.” Uma uzizwa ukhathele ukuzama futhi ungatholi lutho, uma ukuphoxeka kwenqwaba kukushiye udabukile, futhi uzithola uzibuza ukuthi buzobuqeda nini ubudlelwano obuzizwa bunohlangothi olulodwa, nazi ezinye izinkomba ozidingayo ukuze unciphise ukulahlekelwa kwakho futhi uqhubeke: 

• Unikeze amathuba amaningi ngaphandle kokubona ushintsho: Uma umlingani wakho eqhubeka nokwenza izithembiso zokuthuthuka kodwa ehluleka ukuzilandela, kuyinkomba ecacile yokuthi amazwi akhe awahambisani nezenzo zakhe. Isithembiso ngaphandle koshintsho kuwukukhohlisa, okwenza kube esinye sezimpawu ezicindezela kakhulu ukushiya ubudlelwano
• Ubhekene nokungafinyeleli okulindelekile: Ukuhlale uphonswa izibopho ezingafezekanga kungaholela ekukhungathekeni futhi ukucasuka, okungase kuqale ukuba nomthelela enhlalakahleni yakho engokomzwelo. 
• Awutholi uthando nothando oludingayo: Wonke umuntu ufanelwe ukuzizwa eyigugu futhi ehlonishwa. Uma izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo zilokhu zinganakwa, kungenye yezimpawu zokushiya ubudlelwano ngoba akusizi.
• Uzizwa uwedwa kakhulu uma nindawonye kunalapho nihlukene: Ukuba sebudlelwaneni kumele kwengeze enjabulweni yakho, ingakuchithi. Ukuzizwa uhlukanisiwe phambi kozakwenu ifulegi elibomvu elikuxwayisa ukuthi uhlehle 
• Ukuzethemba kwakho kwehlile selokhu kwaqala ubudlelwano: Ubambiswano olunempilo kufanele likukhuphule futhi likusekele. Uma uzithola ungabaza ukubaluleka kwakho noma amakhono akho, ukungalingani ebudlelwaneni kuhlanekezela indlela ozizwa ngayo futhi udinga ukuqhela kukho. 

Ungasuka Kanjani Ebudlelwaneni Bohlangothi Olulodwa

Uma usuthole ukuthi uzoqeda nini ubudlelwano , isinyathelo esilandelayo ukunquma ukuthi kanjani. Uma usuzinike isikhathi esiningi kangaka ebudlelwaneni, ukuqhubeka kungaba yinselele kodwa futhi kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yakho. UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, “Ithemba lokuqeda ubudlelwano lingaba yinto esabekayo, noma ngabe lingehlangabezani nezidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo. Isihluthulelo ukuthatha isinyathelo ngasinye ngesikhathi, futhi ugcine ukholo lokuthi ungahamba.” Ubala izinyathelo eziyisikhombisa ezilula ezingenza ukuqeda ubudlelwano obunohlangothi olulodwa kungabi nzima kakhulu:

1. Vuma ukungalingani

UDkt Bhonsle uthi, "Yazi ukuthi ubudlelwano abunawo umzamo nothando olufanayo. Ukwamukela leli qiniso kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuphulukisa." Nansi indlela ongasusa ngayo ukuphika futhi wamukele ubuqiniso besimo sakho:

• Cabangela izimo lapho uzizwe ungelutho noma ungasekelwe
• Qhubeka uzikhumbuza ngalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho lapho uzizwa ulingeka ukuba uqhubeke nobudlelwano  
• Bhala phansi imizwa yakho ukuze uthole ukucaciseleka mayelana neqiniso lobudlelwano bakho futhi ubucubungule 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuthanda Usuka Kude - Indlela Yokubonisa Umuntu Omthandayo

2. Khuluma ngemizwa yakho

Veza ukukhathazeka kwakho kumlingani wakho bese ubona ukuthi uphendula kanjani. “ Ukukhulumisana okuvulekile ngezinye izikhathi kungaholela ekuqondeni okufanayo, kodwa uma kungenjalo, kungaqinisa isinqumo sakho sokuqhubeka nokuphila,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle.

Yebo, kungenzeka ukuthi uye wakwenza izikhathi eziningana esikhathini esidlule kanye kodwa kulokhu naka indlela abasabela ngayo futhi musa nje ukuthatha amazwi abo on value value. Uma bethembisa ukushintsha babe ngcono, mhlawumbe ubanike elinye ithuba kodwa qiniseka, kulokhu kuyithuba lokugcina nelokugcina owake wabanika lona. Uma bebuyela emaphethini abo amadala ngokushesha noma kamuva, kuthathe njengophawu lwakho lokuqeda izinto. 

3. Beka imingcele

Beka imingcele ecacile ukuze uvikele impilo yakho engokomzwelo bese unquma ukuthi yiziphi izenzo ongeke usakwazi ukuzibekezelela. Lokhu kungasho ukunciphisa ukuxhumana noma ukugwema izimo lapho uzizwa uxhashazwa khona. Xoxa ngale mingcele nomlingani wakho ukuze ubeke okulindelwe okucacile futhi ungamvumeli ukuba ayinyathele yonke indawo. Uma enza kanjalo, phinda uthi ukuziphatha kwabo akwamukeleki futhi uzihlukanise nabo.

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4. Funa ukusekelwa

Ubudlelwano kungenzeka ukuthi babunohlangothi olulodwa kodwa imizwa yakho yayingeyoqobo, futhi mhlawumbe ishubile. Njengoba udabukile ngokudedela umuntu obumthanda ngokujulile kanye nomqondo wokuthi "obekungaba yini" ukube umlingani wakho ubekuthanda ngendlela obufuna ngayo, ukuncika abangani, umndeni, noma umelaphi ukuze azulazule imizwa yakho. Ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho kungakunikeza induduzo kanye nombono.

5. Gxila ekuzinakekeleni

Ukuze welapheke kulokhu kudabukisa kwenhliziyo futhi uqhubekele phambili, udinga ukubeka phambili imisebenzi ezokulethela injabulo nokuphumula. “Ukuzibandakanya ekuzinakekeleni kuqinisa ukuzethemba kwakho futhi kusize ekwelapheni,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. Kumelwe,

• Zitholele kabusha imisebenzi oyithandayo noma zama emisha ukuze uthuthukise isimo sakho sengqondo
• Zama amasu afana nokuzindla noma i-yoga angasiza ekugxiliseni imicabango yakho futhi ehlise ingcindezi

6. Zindla ngezifundo ozitholile

isithombe

“Hlaziya ubudlelwano ukuze uqonde lokho okufundile ngawe nezidingo zakho. Lokhu kuzindla kukulungiselela ubudlelwano obunempilo besikhathi esizayo,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. Uma ubheka emuva ebuhlotsheni owawunabo, naka ukuziphatha okwakugcina unamathele ekuxhumaneni okungagculisi, okungachemile okwakwenza ucabange ukuthi, “ Ngizizwa sengathi nginikela ngaphezu kwalokho engikutholayo ebudlelwaneni bami ”, kaningi. Bese unquma ukuthi yini oyifunayo ebudlelwaneni bakho obulandelayo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ihambisana nezindinganiso nezidingo zakho.

7. Yamukela ikusasa

Awuyeke umqondo wokuthi umuntu ongazange abuyisele imizwa yakho uthando lwakho lweqiniso. Kunalokho, bheka phambili emathubeni amasha kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho futhi ukwamukele ngempela, ngaphandle kokugcina liphila ithemba lokuthi uthando olulahlekile (noma ongakaze ube nalo) luzothola indlela yalo kuwe. Ukuqeda isahluko esisodwa kuvula umnyango wobudlelwano obusha, obugculisayo, futhi yilokho okudingeka ugxile kukho. 

Imicabango Final

Ngakho, kukhona onakho. Konke odinga ukukwazi mayelana nobudlelwano bohlangothi olulodwa. Kwenzeka kanjani, noma ngabe ukuyodwa noma cha, nokuthi yini okudingeka uyenze. Ngethemba, usuyazi manje okumele ukwenze futhi ngeke ugcine ngokukholwa uma umlingani wakho ethi, “Impela ngiyakukhathalela!”

Uma okwamanje ubhekene nobunzima bobuhlobo obunohlangothi olulodwa noma olunye udaba lwezempilo yengqondo, iBonobology inabeluleki abaningi abanolwazi abangathanda ukukusiza ukuthi udlule kulezi zikhathi ezinzima, kuhlanganise noDkt. Bhonsle uqobo lwakhe.

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Ulahlekelwa Kanjani Imizwa Ngomuntu Omthandayo Futhi Udedele

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.