Ngobunye ubusuku bokulala ngemva kokuxabana ngento engabonakali ibalulekile kangako? Ngingacabanga ukuthi isizathu esenza ufune izimpawu umkakho afuna ukukushiya yingoba amathumbu akho abelokhu ekhomba umshado obhidlikayo. Amathumbu akho cishe alungile. Imishado ephumelelayo idinga umsebenzi, ukuzibophezela nenhlonipho.
Bobabili abashadile kufanele benze ingxenye yabo ukuze umshado uhambe kahle nangempumelelo. Ukungalingani kunoma yimuphi omunye wabalingani kubangela ukungezwani okuningi emshadweni. Lokhu kungase kuphumele ekulweni, ezingxabanweni, nasekugcineni kukhasele ibanga phakathi kwakho noshade naye. Futhi usala uzibuza, "Ingabe imishado yonke idlula noma kukhona okungapheli? Umshado wakho ugcwele izimpawu umkakho ufuna ukukushiya? Kungenzeka yini ukuthi umkakho akasakuthandi?"
Le mibuzo ingakunikeza ubusuku obuningi bokuqwasha. Ukuze sikusize uqonde ukuthi umshado wakho usufinyelele kulelo zinga lokungabuyi, sikulethela uhlu lwezimpawu umkakho afuna ukukushiya ngokubonisana nodokotela wezengqondo. Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), umsunguli we-Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, ogxile ekwelulekeni kwezithandani kanye nokwelashwa komndeni. Ulapha ukuze abelane ngemininingwane ethile ukuze akusize unqobe oluhlaza.
Izimpawu Ezithusa Kakhulu Ezingu-17 Umkakho Ufuna Ukukushiya
Okuqukethwe
Bonke ubudlelwano buhlukile futhi bufika nesethi yabo yezinselelo, ukukhuphuka nokudilika. Nokho, amaqhubu amancane endleleni akusona isizathu esanele sokuyeka. Ngokuqinisekile, akekho oyeka ubuhlobo obujabulisayo nobanelisayo, futhi akekho owesifazane osengqondweni yakhe elungile ongakufuna lokho. Kuningi okumele konakale emshadweni ukuze umkakho afune ukukushiya.
Uyabona, isikhathi se-honeymoon asihlali unomphela. Uma usukwelinye ihlangothi lakho, awube usantshontsha ukwanga phambi kwabantu. Ubudlelwano obuningi buyancipha futhi buhlala endaweni enethezekile. Uma oyedwa noma nobabili beyeka ukwenza umzamo wokuvuselela ubuhlobo kulesi sigaba, imifantu nebanga lingaqala ukuvela.
Okudingekayo wukubandakanyeka okuthile emshadweni wakho ukuze uqonde ukuthi umkakho akajabule. Akavuki ekuseni anqume ukuthi ufuna ukukushiya. Ukube ubunakisisa ubuzokwazi ukubona izimpawu zokuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya. Kungenzeka ukuthi uqale ukunaka ngemuva kokuthi umonakalo usuwenzekile. Uma uphuthelwe yizimpawu zokuqala zokuthi kukhona okushaya amanzi ebudlelwaneni bakho, qaphela lezi zimpawu umkakho afuna ukukushiya.
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1. Ukufunda lesi sihloko kungenye yezimpawu zokuqala umkakho afuna ukukushiya
Kwaso kanye isenzo sakho sokuhamba “ukhombisa ukuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya” kuwuphawu ngokwako. Ake ngichaze. Uthole okuthile okungahambi kahle ekuziphatheni kwakhe futhi kukushiye udidekile. Ngikhuluma ngalelo zwi elingaphakathi ebelikutshela umshado wakho uphezu kwamadwala.
Kancane kancane, usuqala ukubona ukuthi uxhumo lwakho luba lubi kakhulu. Ngemuva kokuchitha isikhathi esibalulekile uhlala nomlingani wakho, kunesigqi esikhululekile okumele ningene kuso nobabili. I-offset kulesi sigqi uphawu lokuqala oluyisixwayiso okufanele uluqaphele.
2. Nihlale nibambana emphinjeni
Awukwazi ukubamba izandla uma umatasa ukhomba iminwe. U-Devaleena uchaza lokhu ngokuthi, “Uma nobabili nibambene emzuliswaneni wokusolana, akushiyi ndawo yokukhulumisana.Lokhu kungaqhubeka unomphela.Lokhu kuzungeza kokuthi “wenza lokhu” kanye “nakusho lokho” kungaba esinye sezimpawu zokuqala umkakho afuna ukukushiya. Ungaphakela amaningana amasu okuyeka ukulwa emshadweni wakho.
Lapho umdlalo wokusola uthatha izintambo, noma yimaphi amathuba okuxazulula ukungqubuzana akukho esithombeni. Uma kulapho umshado wakho ukhona, awujabule. Ukubelesela njalo kuwumbulali womshado. Kungase kube nezizathu eziningana ezibangela ukuziphatha kwakhe kokubelesela, mhlawumbe usebenza ngokweqile, akazizwa ezwa, noma ukhungethwe isimo sasendlini. Mhlawumbe, manje ucabangela ukubeka injabulo yakhe kuqala ngokuphuma emshadweni.
3. Uthola kaningi ukuthi “Awukaze ungilalele”
Uyafunda lapho ulalele. U-Devaleena uthi, “Kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, ukukhulumisana okunempilo kubalulekile ngoba kuholela ekubeni nomuzwa wokusondelana. Ukuzizwa emshadweni wakhe kubalulekile kumuntu wesifazane, kubonisa ukuthi uyamkhathalela. Kubaluleke ngokukhethekile ukulalela umlingani wakho lapho ebonakala ecasukile ngenkinga ephathelene nobuhlobo bakho noma umndeni futhi benixabene kakhulu.”
Ungasho kanjani ukuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya? Zihlole ubone ukuthi awunawo yini umlando wokungamnaki umkakho emoyeni ngokungamthandi. Cabanga ngezikhathi oye waxoxa ngazo naye. Ingabe ubukhona ngempela futhi umlalele ngenkuthalo? Cabangani ngezikhathi enike nilwa ngazo. Ingabe nawe nilwe naye ngenhlonipho noma ubunokuhlukumeza nokungahloniphi?
4. “Ngicabanga ukuthi umkami uhlela ukungishiya, bekulokhu kumile looooong”
U-Devaleena uthi, “Uma umkakho ehlale enezaba zokugwema ukusondelana nawe, ngezwi noma ngokucashile, sekuyisikhathi sokuba uqaphe futhi ukhulume naye ngakho.
Lokhu kungaba nzima ukukwamukela, ikakhulukazi uma ucansi bekuyindlela yenu yokuxhumana. Kodwa uma ungakaze usondelane isikhathi eside noma uzizwa sengathi uyathandana isihawu ucansi nawe, khona-ke kungaba esinye sezibonakaliso umkakho afuna ukukushiya.
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5. Uyifihlile impilo yakhe nocingo lwakhe
Ungasho kanjani ukuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo, udinga ukucabanga emuva futhi ubone ukuthi uzibonile yini izinguquko ezibalulekile ekuziphatheni kwakhe kamuva nje. U-Devaleena uthi, “Owesifazane akabophekile ukuba ahlanganyele yonke imininingwane encane yempilo yakhe nomngane wakhe womshado. Nokho, uma ungazi lutho ngesimiso sakhe sansuku zonke noma ukuthi ukuphi, lokhu kushintsha kwesimiso sobumfihlo kuyimbangela yokukhathazeka.”
Umshado awukwazi ukumelana nomthwalo wezimfihlo. Ukungafihli kanye ukwethembeka ziyisisekelo sobudlelwano obanelisayo. Ngezindlela eziningi, isinqumo esenziwe umlingani sikhombisa omunye. Uma uthola ukuthi umkakho egcina izimfihlo uze ungazi ukuthi uchitha nobani isikhathi sakhe noma kungani ephuzile ukusebenza, kungenye yezimpawu ezimbi umkakho afuna ukukushiya.
6. Awusaxoxi ngekusasa
Ukuphila esikhathini samanje kuyiseluleko esihle kodwa uma okwamanje kukugcina ungajabuli, sekuyisikhathi sokuzindla ukuthi izinto zinjani emshadweni wakho futhi uhlele ikusasa. U-Devaleena uthi, “Uma umkakho engasaxoxi ngekusasa ndawonye, kusho ukuthi useyekile ukubuthatha ngokungathi sína ubuhlobo.” Lapho abesifazane bethandana isikhathi eside, akunakugwenywa ukuba bacabange ngekusasa elifanayo.
Ingxoxo ngokuba nezingane noma ukuthuthela endlini enkulu, ukonga imali yekusasa, nokukhuluma ngokuguga ndawonye kuyizici ezibalulekile zomshado. Uma usunonyaka noma emibili ushadile futhi ungaxoxi ngokuthi iminyaka emihlanu ezayo izobukeka kanjani, kungenye yezimpawu ezikhathazayo kakhulu umkakho afuna ukukushiya. Owesifazane angase angakubheki njengokufanelekile ukutshala imizwa yakhe ku umshado ongenaluthando ukuthi akaboni ukuthi ihlala isikhathi eside.
7. Nguwe wedwa oqala izingxoxo
Uma kuhlale kunguwe oqala ingxoxo ngesikhathi sasekuseni noma isidlo sakusihlwa futhi ephendula ngama-monosyllables kuphela, khona-ke amathuba okuba usemshadweni wohlangothi olulodwa. U-Devaleena uthi, "Ingxoxo ehlangothini olulodwa ikhombisa ukuntula intshisekelo yokuba nozakwenu naseduze. Lokhu kuphinde kubonakale kwezinye izindawo zobudlelwano kanye nokuntuleka kokukhulumisana okusobala kungaholela ekukhungathekeni ngokomzwelo."
Uma umkakho engabonisi isithakazelo ekubeni nezingxoxo nje ezivamile, angase abe nomuzwa wokungaxhumani nawe ngokomzwelo. Lokhu kungase futhi kube esinye sezibonakaliso umkakho afuna ukukukhohlisa futhi ukuthi uku ubudlelwano bohlangothi olulodwa. Uphazamisekile futhi ucabanga ngomunye umuntu ahlangane naye noma akhangwe. Zonke izimpawu eziyisixwayiso umlingani wakho uphelelwa intshisekelo ebudlelwaneni.
8. Akakhathazwa ukuthi ukuphi futhi uchitha isikhathi esiningi naye
Ukungakhathali kwakhe ngokuthi ukuphi ngenye yezimpawu ezikhombisa ukuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya. Kukhombisa ukuthi akanandaba nokwazi ukuthi ukuphi noma wenzani. Kungani kuyimbi leyo? U-Devaleena uyachaza, “Ukungabi nandaba kuhluke kakhulu ekunikezeni umuntu othandana naye indawo ebudlelwaneni.Ukungabi nandaba kwakhe empilweni yakho kukhombisa ukuthi uyasazisa isikhathi anaso lapho ungekho.Akanandaba nokuthi uhlanganyela nobani ngoba kuyena okubalulekile nje ukuthi kusho ukuthi uthola isikhathi esengeziwe sokuba yedwa.
“Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi wonke umuntu kufanele abe nendawo yokuba yedwa emshadweni futhi alondoloze indawo yomuntu siqu.” Nokho, uma umkakho ebonakala ejabule kakhulu kunokuvamile ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho uhamba, khona-ke akuphathelene nesikhathi sakhe yedwa.” Kumayelana nokucasuka akuzwayo uma useduze kwakho. Mayelana nomkakho, uyinkinga ebudlelwaneni. Naka isimo sobuso bakhe nesimo sakhe sengqondo lapho uphuma nalapho ubuyela ekhaya.
9. Uma eke waqola esikhathini esidlule, angeke atshalwe emshadweni
Imishado emibi ayibangeli ukungathembeki, kungenye indlela. Uma umkakho eke wakopela esikhathini esidlule noma usola ukuthi uyakopela, lokho kuyifulegi elikhulu elibomvu. UDevaleena uthi: “Kunezizathu eziningana zokuthi kungani owesifazane ekopela emshadweni. Kungaba inselele ukuzulazula emshadweni uma ukwethenjwa sekuphelile. Uma
uke wakhohliswa umkakho esikhathini esidlule futhi uqala ukubona amaphethini afanayo edlala futhi, ukukhathazeka kwakho kuvumelekile. Nakuba kungenzeka yakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni bakho ngemva kokukhohliswa, iphethini ephindaphindayo akufanele ishaywe indiva. Qaphela uma ucingo lwakhe luhlala lumatasa noma uluvikela kakhulu ucingo lwakhe ngoba lezi izimpawu zomfazi ojolayo okungafanele zishaywe indiva. Uma ubona izimpawu zokuthi uyakukopela, amathuba okuthi aphume emshadweni nawo akude kangako.
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10. Umsindo wokuthi...lutho?
Yiziphi izimpawu umkakho afuna ukukushiya? Uma umkakho eyeka ukuxabana nawe nganoma yini, kufanele ukhathazeke. Iqiniso liwukuthi uma nje owesifazane ekhathalela futhi ebona ikusasa emshadweni, uzosebenzisa isikhathi namandla akhe ukuze aphumelele. Lokhu kuzozwakala kuxakile kodwa uma eseyekile ukuphikisana noma ukuveza imibono yakhe, kusho ukuthi emqondweni wakhe usewuyekile umshado.
Ungaphazamisi lokhu kuthula ngokuthula, empeleni ukuzola ngaphambi kwesiphepho. Isizathu salokhu kuthula ukunqanyulwa kwemizwa akuzwayo nawe. Ukungakhulumisani kunomthelela omubi emshadweni. Lokhu kuthula okubuhlungu yisikhathi lapho egxile ekwakheni impilo ngaphandle kwakho. Lesi ngesinye sezibonakaliso ezibuhlungu kakhulu umkakho afuna ukukushiya.
11. Kungaphezu kokugunda izinwele okusha nokuvuselela ikhabethe lakhe
Ingabe umkakho useqalile ukugxila kakhulu ekubukekeni kwakhe? U-Devaleena uthi, "Ushintsho olukhulu ekubukekeni kwakhe lukutshela ukuthi ubuyisela ukugxila kuyena. Kudingeka abukeke kahle empilweni ephambi kwakhe."
Uma umkakho esanda kugunda izinwele ezintsha futhi sekube nezitolo eziningi kunokuvamile, kungase kukumangaze kodwa kungenye yezimpawu ezicashile umkakho afuna ukukushiya. Uqondisa kabusha amandla akhe ekuzithandeni ngoba ulungiselela impilo yakhe ngaphandle komshado. Kungenzeka ukuthi usebona umuntu. Awukwazi ukuvala ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi lezi futhi kungaba izimpawu umkakho ufuna ukukopela kuwe noma cishe kakade.
12. “Ngicabanga ukuthi umkami uhlela ukungishiya, ubalekela abangani nomndeni wami”
UDevaleena uthi, “Uma umkakho eseyekile ukwenza umzamo wokwenza umshado uphumelele futhi egxile ekuzakheleni ukuphila, ngeke abe nasizathu sokuba nesithakazelo ekuphileni kwakho.
Ukungazibandakanyi kwakhe empilweni yakho yezenhlalo kuyinkomba kuwe ukuthi akanandaba nabantu abanokuhlangana nawe. Uma ehlale enezizathu zokuthi kungani engakwazi ukuzihlalela nabangani bakho, lokho kungenye yezimpawu ezisobala kakhulu ukuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya. Kodwa nami ngeke ngikwenze nje konke lokhu, ngoba uma egwema ukuxhumana nabantu, kungenzeka uhlangabezana nenkinga ye-midlife, uhlangabezana nokuthile empilweni yakhe yobungcweti, noma mhlawumbe akabathandi nje abangani bakho futhi akasasiboni isidingo sokuzenzisa.
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13. Ukuphila kwakhe komphakathi kuyaphithizela ngokuzumayo
Ingabe uhlangabezane nobuso obusha nobungaziwa muva nje? U-Devaleena uthi, “Uma uqaphela ukuthi ukuphila komkakho komphakathi sekumatasa kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili futhi ubona ubuso obuningi obusha, lokho kubonisa ukuthi umkakho usezithathile kakade izinyathelo zokuziqhelelanisa nendawo yakhe ekhona futhi ufuna izinto ezintsha nolwazi olusha.”
Uzohlala enohlelo lwempelasonto nabangani bakhe, nozakwabo. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise nabantu abasha futhi lokho kuwuphawu lokuthi uthuke. Qaphela uma ecasuka uma umbuza ngezinhlelo zakhe. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi lokhu kungase kukushiye uzizwa unesizungu emshadweni wakho. Lezi yizimpawu ukuthi umkakho ufuna ukukushiya ngoba akasenandaba nenkampani yakho. Unesistimu yakhe yokusekela.
14. Nihlukene ngokomzwelo
“Umkami useqedile ngami, futhi uma sikhuluma iqiniso, angisamcabangi nakancane,” umfundi wasibhalela, efuna iseluleko sendlela yokusingatha kangcono isimo. Inkinga eyinhloko emshadweni wabo kwakuwukunqamuka kwemizwelo. U-Devaleena athi kubo, “Ukunqamuka kwemizwelo emishadweni kuyakhula kulesi sizukulwane.
Kungase kube nezizathu eziningana zokuthi kungani umkakho ezizwa enqanyuliwe ngokomzwelo kuwe. Zibuze ukuthi ngabe uke wangamnaka yini esikhathini esidlule. Ingabe kube noshintsho olukhulu emshadweni ngendlela yezingane noma indlela yokuphila? Esikhundleni sokwethuka ngomcabango othi “umkami uqedile ngami,” yima kancane futhi ucabange ngezizathu ezingase zibangele lokho. Mhlawumbe, ungase uthole indlela xhuma kabusha nomlingani wakho ukulungisa lo monakalo.
15. Awuseyena isifuba sakhe
Kungase kukhathaze ukuhlala uzicabangela wena, “Ngicabanga ukuthi umkami uhlela ukungishiya.” Kodwa lokhu kwesaba akunasisekelo uma umkakho eyeka ukwabelana nawe ngezinto. Abesifazane bayathanda ukuza bazokwabelana ngamazwibela okwenzekile phakathi nosuku lwabo. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi usuyazi ngalokhu. Kodwa ingabe useyekile ukwabelana nawe ngezinto manje?
Uma umkakho eyekile ukukuthululela isifuba, kuwuphawu lokuthi sekuthathwe omunye umuntu esikhundleni sakho. Uma unenhlanhla, lokhu kungenzeka ukuthi kuqalwe ngu amaphutha okuxhumana ajwayelekile okwenziwa imibhangqwana eminingi. Sithi sinenhlanhla ngoba uma usuwabonile, kuyenzeka ukuthi usebenze emaphethini akho futhi ulungise umonakalo.
Nokho, ezikhathini eziningi, lapho lokhu kwenzeka, isizathu siwukuthi oshade naye uthole omunye umuntu ongamthululela kuye isifuba omqondayo ngendlela ongakaze wenze ngayo. Ukuthi umuntu angaba isisebenzi asebenza naye noma umngane wakhe omkhulu. Kunoma ikuphi, yisixwayiso sakho sefulegi ngoba ukungathululi isifuba kozakwenu kulimaza ubuhlobo ngendlela engenakulungiseka. Kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa ukhathazekile futhi uzizwe ulahlekile ngemva kokuthola ukuthi awusesona indawo yakhe ephephile.
16. “Umkami useqedile ngami, kukhona ukushoda ngokuziphatha kwakhe”
Ukuntula ukuzibophezela kungabonakala ngendlela yokungathembeki emshadweni. UDevaleena uthi, “Uma umkakho engafuni ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo odingekayo enomuzwa wokuzibophezela emshadweni wakhe, angaba ngaphansi kokuthambekela kokungathembeki.”
Esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko zokufa komshado siwukungazibophezeli komunye nomunye. Kanye ukunganeliseki kuyangena emshadweni wakho, oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani baqala ukuduka ebuhlotsheni futhi baqale ukuthatha abalingani babo kalula. Izinkinga zakho ziyakhula uma ingxenye yesithathu ingena kwizibalo zakho.
17. Ukwenza uzizwe ungafunwa
Ekuqaleni, kuwumuzwa ovela ngezikhathi ezithile futhi ungase uzame futhi uziqinisekise ukuthi uyisiphukuphuku futhi uzwela ngokweqile. Kodwa umuzwa uyaphikelela futhi ngesizathu esihle: imizamo yakho yokuqala ukusondelana ayibuyiseli, futhi umkakho ukude ngokomzwelo futhi uyaphazamiseka lapho eseduze nawe. Zonke lezi yizimbangela zokukhathazeka.
Ukungabuyiselwa kothando nomzamo wakho kuyadabukisa. Ukududula abashade nabo kuphakathi izinto ezenziwa abantu besifazane ezibulala uthando emshadweni, futhi lokhu kwenzeka kuphela lapho sebehlolile ngokomzwelo emshadweni. Uma umkakho ehlale ematasa futhi engasiniki isikhathi ngisho nangemva kokukuqinisekisa ukuthi uzokwenza, lokho kuwuphawu lwakho lokuthi akasenasithakazelo emshadweni.
Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Umkakho Efuna Ukukushiya
Izimpawu umkakho ahlela ukukushiya ziwubufakazi bokuthi nobabili nake nayeka ukusebenza kulo mshado. Uma ubhekisisa, ungase ukwazi ukubona 6 izimpawu ukuthi umkakho akasakuthandi. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi isiphetho sendlela yenu njengombhangqwana. Ungakwazi ukuguqula izinto, inqobo nje uma uzibophezele ekwenzeni umsebenzi odingekayo ukuze uvuse umshado osufayo.
Khumbula, njengoba nje iRoma yayingakhiwanga ngosuku olulodwa, ukuzibophezela emshadweni kudinga umsebenzi oqhubekayo. Yonke ingxoxo encane ibalulekile, yonke imikhuba emincane ibalulekile. Kubalulekile ukuthi unake, nsuku zonke. Nazi ezinye zezinto ongalungisa kuzo uma umkakho enqume ukukushiya:
1. Hamba ukuthola ukwelashwa kwabashadile
Yini okufanele uyenze lapho ubona izimpawu umkakho ekuzonda? Ukungena ekwelashweni kwezithandani kungase kube isibhamu sakho esihle kakhulu ekusindiseni umshado. Lapho umkakho engasakuthandi, zama ukusebenzela kukho futhi ubuyisele lolo thando ngokushintsha amaphethini nokuziphatha. Okufanelekile, bobabili abalingani badinga ukuya kokwelulekwa kwabashadile futhi bathole izindlela ezintsha zokusebenza kule zibalo.
Kodwa, khumbula ukuthi ukwelashwa kwabashadile akuyona indlela yokwelapha eyisimangaliso ezokwenza zonke izinkinga zakho zihambe. Ucwaningo uveza ukuthi impumelelo yokwelapha ihlobene kakhulu nendlela iklayenti elicabanga ngayo kunohlobo lokwelapha. Ngakho-ke, ukwelulekwa kusebenza kangcono kumakhasimende asondela ekwelashweni ngombono onethemba kanye nesifiso sokwenza ushintsho. Ngakho-ke, wena nomkakho kufanele nibekezele, nishisekele, nishisekele futhi ningaguquguquki kulolu hambo. Ukwelashwa ku-inthanethi kusuka Abeluleki beBonobology isize izithandani eziningi ezimeni ezifanayo futhi uma ufuna uchwepheshe ozokusiza, kumane ngokuchofoza nje.
2. Sebenza ekuzinakekeleni nasekuzithandeni
Uma umkakho enqume ukukushiya, akukona ukuphela komhlaba. Nakanjani, nikela ngakho konke okusemandleni akho kulo mshado kodwa ungalinge wenze injabulo yakho incike kumuntu oyedwa kangangokuthi unomuzwa wokuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe. Ukuchitha isikhathi uwedwa kuzokukwenza ube nenguqulo engcono yakho futhi ngaleyo ndlela, umyeni ongcono kumkakho. Futhi ngisho noma umkakho ekushiya, lokhu kuzithanda kuzokusiza uvale isikhala esikhulu ekuphileni kwakho.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu eziyi-8 zokuthi uyazilahlekela ebudlelwaneni kanye nezinyathelo ezi-5 zokuzithola futhi
Ngakho-ke, ngezikhathi ezithile, thatha 'isikhathi sami'. Kungaba ukuhamba uwedwa, ukuyothenga uwedwa enxanxatheleni yezitolo, ukudla wedwa esitolo, ukugijima ugqoke ama-earphone, ukufunda incwadi, noma ukuphuza wedwa endaweni yokucima ukoma. Yiba umngane wakho omkhulu. Thola ikhaya lakho kuwe. Funda ukujabulela ukuba neyakho.
Izimpawu umkakho ahlela ukukushiya akulula ukuzigaya. Ungase uzizwe unesizungu, ukhathazekile, ucindezelekile futhi ukhungathekile. Ubungane buzokusiza kakhulu kulesi sigaba esinzima. Zinike isikhathi abangani bobuntwana, abakuthanda ngisho nasebubini bakho futhi abangakwehluleli noma bakwenze uzizwe sengathi kufanele uzenzise ukuze wamukelwe yibona.
3. Yiba nobuchule emshadweni wakho
Ukuzibophezela nokwethembeka emshadweni kuba lula lapho kunomuzwa wokusha. Ngakho-ke, ukuqaphela izimpawu umkakho ekuzondayo kuwucingo lokuvusa umshado wakho. Cabangisisa futhi uqhamuke nemibono ethile yokudala ukuze ubuyisele inhlansi emshadweni wakho. Yiba umngane wakhe omkhulu. Hambani ezamehlela ezintsha ndawonye. Lokhu kuzowuqinisa umshado wakho. I-rafting yomfula, ukunambitha iwayini, ukudlala ithenisi, amakilasi eSalsa/Bachata, ukwenza abangane abasha njengombhangqwana, kungaba noma yini ngokoqobo.
Kodwa uma ubuhlobo benu buhlukumeza ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo, kungcono nihlukane. Ukuhlukumeza kufanele kungalungiseki. Uma izinkinga sezinkulu kangangokuthi phezu kwemizamo yozakwethu bobabili kubonakala sengathi akukho sixazululo, kungcono ukuhlukana. Ukuba wedwa kungaba nezakho izinselelo empilweni. Lokhu kungaba ngezenhlalo, ezengqondo kanye nezezimali. Nokho, ukubhekana nemiphumela yokuhlala emshadweni ongajabulisi, ikakhulukazi uma kukhona ukuxhashazwa okuhilelekile, akufanelekile.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Uma umkakho egcina izimfihlo kuwe futhi ezizwa engaxhumene nawe ngokomzwelo, lezi yizimpawu umkakho afuna zikushiye.
- Ezinye izimpawu zihlanganisa ukwanda kwempilo yakhe yezenhlalo kanye nokungahambi kahle ekuziphatheni kwakhe
- Uma uzizwa ungafunwa futhi engasakuthululela isifuba, lezi izimpawu ukuthi umkakho akasakuthandi.
- Lapho umkakho efuna ukukushiya, ungazama ukuhlenga umshado ngokungena ekwelapheni imibhangqwana, uthole izindlela zokuzithanda, futhi uzame imisebenzi emisha futhi uthole kabusha izithakazelo ezifanayo naye.
Kungaba nzima ukuthola ukuthi umshado wakho kungenzeka usuphelile. Ungase uzithole usenkingeni engokomzwelo futhi lokho kungagwenywa ngokufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Kungenzeka ukusindisa umshado lapho abantu ababili befisa ukusebenzisana. Hlala ucabange ngomshado wakho ngemva kokufunda lesi sihloko. Zibuze ukuthi umi kuphi futhi ukuthi lo mshado ufanele ukuwongwa noma cha?
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Abantu besifazane bashiya amadoda uma benganakiwe futhi bezizwa bengafunwa. Uma inkosikazi ingasawutholi umshado wayo uyenelisa, akanasizathu sokuhlala kuwo. Ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba nakho kunomthelela ekubeni bafune ukubhidliza umshado.
Kunezindlela ezimbili zokufinyelela kulokhu. Ningakwazi ukuxhumana naye nixoxe ngezinkinga eziholele ekutheni athathe lesi sinqumo. Nokho, uma esesithathile isinqumo ngakho akukho okumvimbayo. Okunye wukuzindla ngokuziphatha nangempilo yakho futhi ugxile ekukhuleni njengomuntu.
Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuyinto engcono kakhulu ongazenzela yona esimweni lapho umkakho efuna ukuphuma emshadweni. Ukwelulekwa ngomshado kungaletha umbono omusha kumbhangqwana ngokunikeza umbono ongachemile. Kungasebenza njengendlela ephephile yemizwa ngokuvumela umbhangqwana ukuthi ukhulume izinto ngokuvamile obungeke ukwazi ukuzisho.
Izizathu Ezingu-5 Ezenza Izindaba Zangaphandle Zivuleleke Kakhudlwana Manje
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
