Ubudlelwano bungaba nzima; iningi lethu liyakwazi lokhu futhi like labhekana nakho. Ijika lobudlelwano alihlali lifana emshadweni wakho noma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano besikhathi eside olukhethile. Uma uqhela kancane kancane noma uzizwa unqanyuliwe kodwa ungakwazi ukwenza lutho ukuze uhlenge isimo, ukuthola izindlela zokuphinde uxhumane nomngane wakho womshado kungaba isikebhe sokusindisa osidingayo.
Njenge-stock exchange, kukhona ukuphakama nokwehla, izikhathi ezinhle nezikhathi ezimbi, kanye nokuwina nokulahlekelwa kubo bonke ubuhlobo. Iphuzu eliphansi elikhulu ukulahlekelwa uxhumano ebuhlotsheni ngezizathu ezihlukahlukene. Uma uzizwa unqanyuliwe kumlingani wakho phakathi nomshado wakho, ungase uzibuze ukuthi ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomlingani wakho futhi uma kungenzeka.
Abantu abasebudlelwaneni obuqinile nobunempilo bazokutshela ukuthi ukuxhumana phakathi kwabashadile kuyaba nzima lapho kunezinkinga zezimali, lapho ushonelwa othandekayo njengengane noma umzali kukushaya, noma lapho kunokungathembeki. Kodwa-ke, akubambi njalo ukuhlehla okukhulu ukushayela umbhangqwana.
Isithukuthezi, i- monotony, ukuntuleka komzamo, kanye nokunganeliseki nakho kungabangela abalingani bahlukane. Umshado udinga ukusebenza njalo nokukhuliswa ukuze uhlale. Ngakho-ke noma ukuxhumana kuncipha ngokwezigaba, ukuthi uzimisele kangakanani ukuphinde uxhumane nowakwakho kuzonquma isiphetho sobudlelwano benu.
Lapho Uzizwa Unqanyuliwe Nomlingani Wakho: Izimbangela ezi-6
Okuqukethwe
Ukulahlekelwa uxhumano ebudlelwaneni kungenzeka nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Kungenzeka ngonyaka wokuqala womshado ngokwawo noma kungenzeka ngemva kweminyaka engu-20 nishadile kamnandi. Ukuthola kabusha uxhumano ngokomzwelo kungaba umsebenzi wokuphila konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nibe ndawonye isikhathi esingakanani.
Ngonyaka wokuqala, abashadile bangaba nezinkinga zokulungisa. Kwesinye isikhathi umlingani oyedwa uba ukulawula kuyilapho omunye efuna indawo. Ukuzizwa benqanyuliwe ebudlelwaneni kungenza bobabili abashadile bakhathazeke, futhi izizathu ezibangela lokho zingaba ziningi. “Ngazizwa ngikhululekile ngokomzwelo nomyeni wami, futhi ngangingazi nokuthi kungani, kwadingeka izingxoxo ezimbalwa ezinengqondo, izingxabano ezimbalwa ezishisayo, nokuqonda okuningi ukuze aqaphele ukuthi wayezizwa engathandwa.
“Ngangingathandi lapho ekhulumela phezulu, nakuba ezama ukukushintsha lokho, kwaphinde kwamudla ngoba wayenomuzwa wokuthi wayengenakuba ngokoqobo kimi.” Ngokujabulisayo, sakwazi ukuxoxa ngokungaboni ngaso linye kwethu.
Lapho izinto zingahambi kahle, ukuphinde uhlangane nomngane wakho womshado ngokomzwelo ngokumane ukhulume naye kungase kuzwakale kulula kakhulu noma kukuhle kakhulu ukuba kube yiqiniso. Kodwa kungaba isinyathelo sokuqala esibalulekile endleleni efanele. Ukuze ukwazi ukuxhumana ngempumelelo, udinga ukuthola ukuthi kungani kungase kube khona ukunqanyulwa kwasekuqaleni. Nazi izizathu ezimbalwa ezizwakalayo:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukulungiswa Emshadweni: Amathiphu Ayi-10 Kwabashadikazi Abasanda Kushada Okuqinisa Ubudlelwano Babo
1. Izinkinga zokulungisa
Uma abantu ababili beqala ukuhlala ndawonye , kufanele kwenziwe ukuyekethisa. Kodwa uma kwenzeka izinguquko ngokuzibamba, kuvela izinkinga. I-air conditioner ebandayo uma iqhathaniswa nekamelo lokulala elifudumele ingabukeka njengendaba encane kodwa ingadala ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Yingakho eminye imibhangqwana ikhetha ngisho namakamelo okulala ahlukene njengendlela yokwenza izinto zisebenze.
U-Archie no-Liz base benonyaka beshadile lapho izinkinga ezithile ziqala ukungena khona. U-Archie wayengumuntu wasekuseni, uLiz engeyena. U-Archie wayengakwazi ukubekezelela isipuni se-chili flakes, uLiz wayengumuntu othanda izinongo. Akukho kulokhu okwakubonakala kuwukungezwani okushintsha ukuphila kodwa kwaba yizithiyo ekwakheni ukuxhumana emshadweni.
2. Ukulawula vs isikhala esiningi
Indoda elawulayo noma inkosikazi ehlukene ngokuphelele bobabili ababi ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa lapho imibhangqwana eshadile ihluleka ukuthola indlela ephakathi, kuvame ukunqanyulwa. Ngokunqanyulwa, ukuthola ukuthi ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomyeni noma umkakho nakho kuwela endleleni.
Uma omunye wabalingani engumuntu othanda ukulawula kanti omunye eqhubeka nokukhuluma ngobuntu bakhe kanye nendawo futhi efuna "isikhathi sami" esengeziwe, izinkinga ziqala ukwanda emshadweni. Lokhu kungaholela ekulahlekelweni kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni njengoba intukuthelo ikhula, noma omunye wabalingani eqala ukuzizwa ecindezelwe.
3. Izinkinga zemali
Kusukela ekungathembeki kwezezimali kuya ezinkingeni ezimayelana nezindleko zokwabelana, izindaba zemali zingaba inunu engabhidliza ubudlelwano. Ukunqanyulwa kokuxhumana kwenzeka lapho ingcindezi yezezimali ingabekezeleleki noma umlingani oyedwa engu-spendthrift kanti omunye ewushishi. Thatha uJen noJake, isibonelo. U-Jake wayeneme ngendlela ekhululekile yokusebenzisa imali futhi engakhathazeki ngokulondolozela ikusasa.
UJen, njengoba ekhulele emkhayeni onzima ngokwezimali, walinganisa futhi waphawula yonke into ayichitha. Ngokushesha, lokhu kwaholela ekungqubuzaneni okukhulu nasekulahlekelweni kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni, lapho u-Jen ebiza u-Jake njengongavuthiwe futhi u-Jake wayefisa ukuthi u-Jen alulame kancane. Khumbula, kunemibuzo eminingana yokuphenya ongayingeza kokuthi “Ungaphinde uxhumane nomyeni/umkakho?” kodwa “Kungani usebenzise u-$49.99 ngezicathulo?” kuhle kweqiwe.
4. Ukukopela kungawubhidliza umshado
Abashadile bazizwa bekhathazekile lapho abalingani babo bengena othandweni futhi behlushwa ingqondo ngenxa yokukhohlisa. Yilapho-ke bekuthola kunzima ukuphinda baxhumane ngemva kokukopela. Yilokho okwenzeka kuMartha noJames. Ngemva kweminyaka engamashumi amahlanu beshadile, uMartha wabona uJames ehlukana, futhi kwabonakala sengathi ifoni yakhe yayibaluleke kakhulu kuye kunaye.
“Ngazizwa nginqamukile ngokomzwelo kumyeni wami futhi ngathola ukuthi kungani lapho ngibona imibhalo embalwa engcolile ocingweni lwakhe ayezama ukungifihlela yona, wayekade enobuhlobo bobulili kuyi-Internet, futhi kwakubonakala kungenakwenzeka ukubuyela ezikhathini ezimnandi ngemva kwalokho,” kusho uMartha. Abantu bayashintsha ngemva kokungethembeki emshadweni, okwenza kube nzima ukuthi babuyele endleleni ababeyiyo ngaphambi kwehlazo lokukopela.
5. Ukugxambukela kwabasemzini
Uma ukujola kungase kudale umonakalo emshadweni, abasekhweni asebekhulile abahlala nabashadile kungase kubangele ukungezwani. Uma nihlale nibanga abasekhweni futhi behlukana phakathi kwenu lokho kungabhidliza umshado wenu. Ukubhekana nokucasuka kwabo kungase kubangele ubunzima ebuhlotsheni bakho nomngane wakho womshado. Ngisho noma uzibuza ukuthi yini okumele ukhulume ngayo nomuntu oshade naye ukuze niphinde nixhumane, ukuhlala nabasemzini endaweni eyodwa kungenza kube nzima ukuba nalezi zingxoxo ezizwakalayo.
6. Izidakamizwa ezingenampilo kanye nezindlela zokubhekana nazo
Ukuluthwa yizidakamizwa, utshwala, noma ukugembula kungadala ukungezwani emshadweni. Uma oshade naye ekuluthwe kakhulu yinoma yikuphi noma konke lokhu, kungabangela izinguquko ezinkulu ebuntwini bakhe, kwenze kube nzima ngawe ukuthola ukuthi ungaphinde uhlangane kanjani nomlingani wakho.
Namuhla, ukuluthwa kwezokuxhumana kuyisizathu esikhulu esenza imibhangqwana eshadile izizwe inqanyuliwe. Ukuze unqobe umlutha wotshwala noma izinkinga zokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, ukuhlunyeleliswa kwezimilo kanye nokwelashwa kuyindlela engcono kakhulu. Ngokuqondene nokulutha kwezokuxhumana, i-detox ingaba indlela enhle eyanele yokuxhumana nomyeni noma umkakho.
Izimpawu Eziyi-10 Zokunqamuka Emshadweni Wakho
Manje njengoba sesixoxile ngezimbangela, isinyathelo esilandelayo siwukubona izimpawu ezisho ngokusobala ukuthi ukuhlukana kukhona emshadweni. Ukuqonda izimpawu kungakusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthi ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomyeni/unkosikazi wakho futhi ngethemba lokuthi uthole indlela yakho yokubuyela endaweni ejabulisa kakhudlwana.
Uzokwazi ukunqamula kuleso sikhala esijabulisa kakhudlwana kuphela uma ukwazi ukuthola ukuthi kukhona okuya eningizimu noma cha. Ohambweni lwakho lokuphinde uxhumane nowakwakho ngokomzwelo, izimpawu zizokusiza ukuthi uthole kahle ukuthi yini okudingeka uyilungise nawe. Ake sizibheke:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuphendula Ekuphathweni Okuthule - Izindlela Eziphumelelayo Zokusingatha
1. Kukhona ukuthula kunokukhuluma
UCharlie noHank bebelokhu bengumbhangqwana oxhumana ngokujulile. Izingxoxo zabo etafuleni lesidlo sakusihlwa zazimboza konke ngaphansi kwelanga - kusukela kwezombusazwe kuya ezinhlelweni zasehhovisi. Kodwa eminyakeni embalwa beshadile, izinkinga zokuxhumana phakathi kwabo zazibonakala futhi umdlandla wokwakha uxhumano emshadweni wabo wawungasekho.
Kujwayelekile ukuthi ubudlelwano besikhathi eside buguquke ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kodwa, uma umshado wenu ubunezingxoxo ezijabulisayo nokuhleka, kungase kudumaze inhliziyo ukubona ukuthi anisenalo izwi lokukhuluma komunye nomunye, nidla ukudla kwenu buthule futhi nibe matasa ngokushesha ngeTV noma ngocingo ngemva kwalokho. Uma ubona into enjalo, sekuyisikhathi sokuphinde uxhumane nomngane womshado okude.
2. Kumele uphinde uxhumane nowakwakho ngokomzwelo uma kunegebe lokukhulumisana
Siyazi, kuzwakala sengathi yinkulumo endala kunazo zonke, kodwa ukuxhumana kubalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuhle . Kungenzeka ukuthi usuvele wazi ukuthi anisakhulumisani ngemizwa yomunye nomunye. Ninentukuthelo, nobabili nigcwala imizwa yenu noma nithule.
Awulokothi uxoxe ngokuthi kungani uzizwa unqanyuliwe ebudlelwaneni noma ukhulume ngokuthi ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomlingani wakho. Kunokuba nikhulume noma niyolala ebusuku, wena nophathina wakho anizwani kuphela futhi lokho kubangela igebe lokukhulumisana phakathi kwenu likhule.
3. Umlingani wakho uhlole imizwa
Ungase uzizwe ungenalo uxhumano olungokomzwelo ngoba umyeni wakho usephumile emshadweni ngokomzwelo. Noma mhlawumbe umkakho usewuyekile umshado engqondweni yakhe. Kungase kubonakale sengathi ingxabano phakathi kwenu iyakhula usuku nosuku. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ubuhlobo bufanele ukulondolozwa, kuzodingeka wenze umzamo oqotho wokuxhumana kabusha ngokomzwelo nomyeni wakho noma umkakho futhi umenze akholelwe ekusaseni lenu ndawonye.
4. Kukhona ucansi kodwa akukho ukusondelana
Uyaya ocansini kodwa awusenzi uthando. Umane uvumelane nezidingo zakho zemvelo kodwa akukho ukusondelana lapho nigone omunye nomunye. Ungase uzizwe unqamuka ebudlelwaneni lapho wenza ngaphandle. Ukuntula ukusondelana ngesikhathi imizwa kufanele kube izimpawu eziphezulu zesidingo esikhulu sokuphinde uxhumane nomlingani wakho ngokocansi. Mhlawumbe usuphokophele emshadweni ongenabo ubulili.
5. Awuzixazululi izingxabano
Ukuxazulula izingxabano kuyisici esibaluleke kakhulu sobudlelwano obunempilo. Uyazi ukuthi usemshadweni ongenampilo lapho wena noma umlingani wakho ningasazami ukuxazulula izinkinga zenu. Ugcina izinkinga nemizwa yakho ivaliwe esikhundleni salokho. Ukwazi ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ngemva kokulwa kubalulekile empilweni yobudlelwano benu. Udinga ukufinyelela ikhambi eliphumelelayo lokulwa kwenu, ngaphandle kwalokho, inzondo ekhona emoyeni izokudla ngaphakathi.
6. Anisichithi isikhathi ndawonye
Ngaphambili, benihamba ndawonye, nihamba ngezinsuku zokuphola, nibambene ngezandla, nibhalelane amanothi othando, noma nihlele nokuhlela izinsuku ezimbili nabangane kodwa manje aniyitholi induduzo nindawonye. Niyakwenyanya ukuchitha isikhathi ninobabili. Uma uqaphela ukuthi nobabili nimatasa kakhulu ngempilo yenu noma niyekile ukwenza isikhathi sobabili, ungase udinge imibono embalwa ngezinto eningazenza noshade naye ukuze niphinde nixhumane. Okuningi ngalokho kamuva.
7. Ukungakhulumisani kuyenziwa komunye nomunye
Kungaba nezinzuzo ezithile zokuthula ebudlelwaneni kodwa ukuphathwa buthule isikhathi eside kufana nokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo uma kwenziwa ngenxa yenzondo. Kuholela ekuhlukaneni kwenu kakhulu kunokuba niphinde nixhumane nomlingani. Uma ubuhlobo buzwakala bukhathaza, ukuxazulula izingxabano ngokuvuthwa kungase kubonakale kungasafanele. Kunalokho, ningakhetha ukuvimbana.
8. Awusho ukuthi “ngiyakuthanda”
Ukusho nje ukuthi “Ngiyakuthanda” yikho konke okudingekayo ukuze uzizwe uthandwa futhi ujabule. Kodwa uma ungazizwa sengathi ufuna ukusho lawo mazwi, kukhona okungahambanga kahle ngobuhlobo bakho. Nakuba kungase kubonakale sengathi kuyinto evamile ngemva kwesikhathi esithile, ukuqinisekisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamthanda ngempela futhi uyamkhathalela kungaba yikho konke okudingayo ukuze uqinise ubuhlobo benu. Kodwa uma ungakhumbuli isikhathi sokugcina enasho ngaso la mazwi amathathu amangalisayo komunye nomunye futhi niwasho ngempela, sekuyisikhathi sokucabanga ngalokho okungahambi kahle.
9. Anilandeleli impilo yomunye nomunye
Lapho uCarly ekhushulelwa esikhundleni esikhulu emsebenzini, akazange amtshele umyeni wakhe uJerry. Kwakunguzakwabo owatshela uJerry, futhi ngokubikezela, wamangala futhi walimala ngokuthi uCarly wayengamtshelanga ngokwakhe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho uJerry ecabanga ngokutshala imali endlini engumahamba nendlwana, kwadlula isikhathi ngaphambi kokuba axoxe ngakho noCarly. Uyazi ukuthi awukwazi ukuphinde uxhumane nomngane womshado okude uma engabelani nawe ngezinhlelo zakhe zempilo, ukunqoba, nezinsizi.
10. Awukho umzamo owenziwa isithandwa sakho ukuze ujabule
Akuzona izenzo ezinkulu kodwa izenzo ezincane zokucabangela ezenza abantu ababili bajabule ebudlelwaneni. Uma kungekho mzamo wokuletha izimbali noma izipho ekhaya, bhala incwadi yothando, zama izinto ezintsha noma uthole iresiphi entsha bese uphonsa isidlo esithakazelisayo ukuze wenze oshade naye ajabule , yazi ukuthi kunenkinga. Uma umlingani wakho engenzi mzamo wokuhlala exhumene nawe, kuwuphawu lokungaxhumani emshadweni.
Uma zonke izimpawu zenze ukuthi udwebe okufanayo nobudlelwano bakho, ukuthola izinto ongazenza nomngane wakho womshado ukuze uphinde uxhumane kungase kube isinyathelo sokuqala okudingeka usithathe. Ake sibhekisise kabanzi ukuthi yini ongakhuluma ngayo nowakwakho ukuze niphinde nixhumane nakho konke okunye okudingeka ukwenze, ukuze ukwazi ukusondela esinyathelweni esisodwa somshado ovumelanayo owulangazelelayo.
Izinyathelo Eziyisi-8 Zokuxhuma kabusha Nomlingani Wakho
Ngakho-ke, uphinda uxhumane kanjani nomuntu oshade naye okude? Ukunqanyulwa komshado emshadweni kungawuthumela phansi. Kodwa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJohn Gottman, oye wasindisa amakhulu emishado esehlukaniso futhi uye wacwaninga imibhangqwana engaphezu kuka-3 000 eminyakeni engu-40 edlule, unomuzwa wokuthi ukuhlangana kabusha okufika ngesikhathi kuyisihluthulelo sokubuyisela umshado esimeni.
UGottman uthi kuyenzeka ukubuyisa imishado onqenqemeni lokuhlukana noma isehlukaniso uma izithandani zifuna ukungenelela ezigabeni zokuqala zokunqanyulwa. Ukwazi nje ukuthi yini ongakhuluma ngayo nomngane wakho womshado ukuze uphinde uxhumane nabo kungasiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi ukukhulumisana kuba yimpumelelo futhi kuyaheha.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna ukusondelana kakhulu ngokocansi nomyeni/umkakho noma uzama ukwakha kabusha umshado wenu ngesikhathi sokuhlukana , ungenza ushintsho kuphela ngokuthatha izinyathelo eziqondile. Kodwa-ke, khumbula ukuthi ikhambi lenkinga yesikhashana ngeke lisebenze uma ufuna ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho. Ngakho-ke, ungachithi isikhathi kubo. Uma umbuzo wokuthi ungaphinde uhlangane kanjani nomlingani wakho ubelokhu unzima engqondweni yakho, nazi izinyathelo ezingu-8 ongazilandela.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyisi-7 Zesexwayiso Zokuthi Ukhula Uhlukana Emshadweni Wakho
1. Xhumana kabusha nomngane wakho womshado ngokuzenzakalelayo
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuphinda uxhumane nomlingani wakho ukuzama ukubuyisa ukuzethemba ebudlelwaneni bakho noma emshadweni wakho. Indlela enhle yokwenza lokho ukuyeka yonke intukuthelo nobuhlungu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umlingani wakho uyavilapha ngemisebenzi yasekhaya noma izinkinga zezimali ezikuthukuthelisa, thola ikhambi lazo bese uzama ukuzidedela.
Esikhundleni salokho, gxila ezinhlelweni ezinhle zobudlelwano nezinkumbulo ezabelwana ngazo bese uzama ukubuyisa lokho kwanga okulula noma ukubambana ngezandla noma ukupeki esihlathini. Futhi uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomuntu oshade naye ngokocansi, ubusuku obuzenzakalelayo bokwenza uthando bungaba yikho konke okudingayo. Qhubeka futhi usethe isimo sengqondo ngamakhandlela ambalwa nalelo wayini elibizayo, futhi uzoba nobusuku obuzokhumbula.
2. Xhumana kabusha nomngane wakho womshado ngokomzwelo
Lena enye indlela yokwenza oshade naye aphinde akuthande . Ukuthembela komunye nomunye ngokomzwelo kuwuphawu lobudlelwano obuhle. Uma uqala ukuzizwa ungaxhumene nomlingani wakho ngokomzwelo, ubuhlobo bakho buyaphazamiseka ngokungenakugwenywa. Ukuhlukana ngokomzwelo kwenzeka lapho izingxabano zingaxazululwa. Indlela enhle yokuxazulula izinkinga ukwamukela ukuthi ukungezwani akunakugwenywa kodwa kungenzeka ukukuxazulula ngendlela enempilo.
Uma uqinisekisa ukuthi awusebenzisi amagama alimazayo, udlale umdlalo wokusola, noma ukukhafula, futhi esikhundleni salokho uzame ukuba nengxoxo ngenkinga, ungaba sendaweni engcono emshadweni wakho. Ukuze wenze lokho, kufanele ukhulume nomlingani wakho ngokwethembeka nangokuthula. Thola ukuthi ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomyeni wakho noma umkakho ngemva kokuxabana, futhi uzoba isinyathelo esisodwa sokusondelana ngokomzwelo.
Buza imibuzo futhi ulalelisise ukuthi uthini umlingani wakho uma ufuna ukuvuselela ubuhlobo obungokomzwelo naye. Kwesinye isikhathi, uma ufuna ukuphinde uthole ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo, okudingeka ukwenze nje ukwenza umlingani wakho azizwe eqinisekisiwe futhi ezwiwa ngokumlalela ngokucophelela.
3. Xhumana kabusha nomngane wakho womshado ngokomoya
Ebudlelwaneni, kuhlale kukhona ukuxhumana okungokomoya. Abanye bayakukholelwa, abanye abakukholelwa. Abanye bakuzwa kakhulu, abanye abakuqondi. Uma nixhumene ngokweqile ngokomoya, kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ningabangane bomphefumulo futhi nihlanganyela izinga elithile lenduduzo nokholo komunye nomunye.
Ukuxhumana okungokomoya yilapho abashadile bekwazi ukubona ukuthi umlingani uphazamisekile engqondweni noma azi ukuthi yini okudingeka bayenze ukulungisa isimo. Akuwona umlingo, kuyindaba nje yokuthi niqondana kanjani. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, kuba nokuwohloka kwalokhu kuxhumana okungokomoya lapho abalingani bezizwa sengathi bangabantu abangabazi abahlala endlini eyodwa.
Ungavusa lokho kuxhumana ngokunakekela, ububele, nomzamo. Ngakho-ke, uma ubucabanga ukuthi yini ongakhuluma ngayo nomngane wakho womshado ukuze niphinde nixhumane, zama ukukhuluma ngokuthi awuzizwa kanjani uxhumene naye ngokwemvelo. Mhlawumbe kuzolandela izingxoxo ezimnandi nezinengqondo, futhi nizokwazi kahle ukuthi kungani nobabili nizizwa nikude kangaka.
4. Xhumana kabusha nowakwakho ngokocansi
Uma kukhona ukungezwani phakathi kwemibhangqwana eshadile, enye yezinto zokuqala eziphuma ngaphandle kwefasitela impilo yocansi. Kungaba yinto enganeliseki kakhulu noma ukuntuleka kokusondelana kuholela ekungahlangani nhlobo kocansi. Ukuxhumana kabusha ngokocansi kudinga umzamo kuwe, kodwa kufanele uqale ngokuxhumana ngokomzwelo ngaphambi kokuba uhlangane ngokomzimba futhi uthole leyo mfudumalo endala.
Ningaqala ukusebenzela ubungane, nihambe ngobusuku ukuze nizihlanganise nomngane wakho womshado, nihambe ndawonye, futhi nibeke uphawu lwezindawo ozithandayo ohlwini lwamabhakede akho. Ukuze wakhe ubuhlobo obuqinile emshadweni wakho, kufanele uthembele ekwakheni isisekelo esiqinile sobungane kuqala.
Uma ufuna ukusondelana ngokocansi nomyeni noma unkosikazi wakho, qhubeka ubamangaze ngokwenza umnyakazo wokuqala ngokuzenzakalelayo futhi ugxile kancane ekudlaleni kwangaphambili. Kusukela ekuzameni izikhundla ezintsha kuya ekubekeni imizwa ngaphambili, kunenqwaba yezinto ongazenza nomuntu oshade naye ukuze niphinde nixhumane ngokocansi.
5. Xhumana kabusha nowakwakho ngokuhlakanipha
Mhlawumbe nobabili ningabafundi abashisekayo futhi kwakunesikhathi lapho naningaxoxa ngencwadi amahora amaningi kodwa lokho akusenzeki. Noma izingxabano ezivuthayo ezigqugquzelwa imibono yenu yezombangazwe eshayisanayo zibonakala ziyize manje. Noma awusawabuki amafilimu abuyela emuva elele kusofa. Lezi ngezinye zezindlela ukuntula ukusondelana kwengqondo okubonakala ebudlelwaneni.
Ukuze unqobe lokhu futhi uxhumane kabusha nomuntu omthandayo, mnike incwadi, udlale imidlalo, noma uthenge amathikithi ama-movie. Batshele ukuthi uzwile ngochungechunge oluhle lwe-Netflix ofuna ukulubuka ndawonye. Ukukhetha ikilasi, ukudlala umdlalo wamakhadi, noma ukujoyina i-webinar ndawonye kungaba izindlela ezinhle zokwakha ukusondelana kwengqondo ebudlelwaneni . Ukuze kube nobudlelwano obuhle, abashadile kudingeka babe nokuqonda okufanayo.
6. Phinda uxhumane nomngane wakho womshado ngenjabulo
Ungaphinde uxhumane kanjani nomlingani wakho? Ukuze ukwazi ukuthola impendulo yalokho, kufanele uqale uqonde imbangela yokungajabuli ebudlelwaneni bakho. Uma ungasebenzela kulokho futhi ukuqede, akukho lutho olungakuvimba ekuxhumaneni kabusha nomlingani wakho futhi uthole injabulo yakho. Ukuze uthole izinto eningazenza nomuntu oshade naye ukuze niphinde nixhumane, zama ukucabanga ngezinto ezinijabulise nobabili.
Mhlawumbe benithanda ukwenza i-yoga ndawonye, ukuzama izinto ezintsha noma imisebenzi ndawonye, ukudlala umdlalo wamakhadi, noma ukumaka izindawo ohlwini lwakho lwamabhakede ndawonye. Mhlawumbe uzizwe uxhumekile ngenkathi upheka ndawonye. Injabulo ingaba ukuhambahamba engadini noma ukuzitika ngomkhuba wokuphuza ikhofi ndawonye ekuseni. Buyela emuva osukwini lwakho lokuqala kanye nawo wonke amasiko ajabulisayo akwenza ujabule futhi uzothola umshado wakho usuvele uvuselelwe ngamandla amasha.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathemba Angu-12 Angokoqobo Ebudlelwaneni
7. Xhumana kabusha nomngane wakho womshado ngokunengqondo
Yini ongakhuluma ngayo nomngane wakho womshado ukuze niphinde nixhumane? Khuluma logic. Sebenzisa ukucabanga okuqinile ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kwesinye isikhathi imiqondo yethu igubuzelwe yimizwa nemizwa yethu, ngenxa yalokho sigcina sesigxumela eziphethweni futhi sidweba imibono engenangqondo noma isizathu. Ngale ndlela, sibangela ukulimala okukhulu ebuhlotsheni bethu.
Ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho ne-logic kungasiza ekuqiniseni ukuxhumana kwakho. Uma wazi ukuthi kanjani nokuthi kungani izinkinga zakho zingenzeka, khona-ke ukungaqondani okuningi okuhlupha ubudlelwano bakho kungaxazululwa.
Mhlawumbe nobabili nigxumela eziphethweni lapho niphikisana noma nivele nivumele imizwa yenu ikulawule, yingakho nibeka ukunengqondo emuva. Esimeni lapho uzama ukuvuselela ubuhlobo nomuntu oshade naye, kufanele ubheke ngokunengqondo ukuthi yini eyonakele ebudlelwaneni bakho nokuthi kungani kwenzeke.
8. Thola izinto ozozenza nomuntu oshade naye ukuze niphinde nixhumane
Kudingeka uthole izinto ozozenza nomngane wakho womshado ukuze niphinde nixhumane, ngoba kuphela ngokuchitha isikhathi esakhayo nindawonye lapho niyophinde nizizwe niyingxenye yentokozo enkulu. Lapho impilo ibamba wena futhi uzizwa sengathi sekudlule isikhathi eside kusukela nizijabulele nomlingani wakho, kufanele uzame ukwakha ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho futhi.
Uma usuphelelwe yimibono, mhlawumbe ezinye zezinto ongayenza nomlingani wakho ukuze niphinde nixhumane zingakusiza. Nazi izindlela ezimbalwa zokubuyela othandweni nomlingani wakho:
- Tholani into entsha yokuzilibazisa ndawonye, njengokuhamba izintaba noma chess
- Hlela ubusuku bosuku futhi uhlole ingxenye yakho eyintandokazi yedolobha
- Beka ifoni yakho eceleni isikhathi esithile futhi nje nibe nezingxoxo eziphusile omunye nomunye
- Joyina iklabhu yokugijima, ikilasi lokudansa, noma ikilasi le-yoga
- Phekani ndawonye noma niphekeleni, noma niphonselane inselelo ekuphekeni
- Vakashela izindawo ezintsha edolobheni lakho njengezivakashi
- Yiba nobusuku be-spa ekhaya
- Shiya amanothi othando komunye nomunye esibukweni sokugezela
- Iya emicimbini yomndeni ndawonye noma nibe nesibopho nelungu lomndeni wena nowakwakho enisondelene nalo
- Zama amaphepha okusebenzela angaphrinteka ku-inthanethi ukuze uthole ukuthi wenze iphutha kuphi nokuthi yini okufanele ithuthukiswe
Uhlu luyaqhubeka futhi lugcina lapho umcabango wakho uphela khona. Iphuzu liwukuthi, ngosizo lwalezi zinto imibhangqwana eshadile engayenza ukuze niphinde nixhumane, nizokwenza izinkumbulo ezintsha nomlingani wakho futhi niqinise isibopho senu. Umshado uhambo olude nolunzima futhi zonke izigaba zawo azikwazi ukufana. Kuvamile ukulahlekelwa ukuxhumana ngezinye izikhathi, kodwa uma ufuna ukwenza umshado wakho usebenze, ungahlala uthola indlela yokubuyela komunye nomunye.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Kungase kube nezizathu eziningana zokuthi uzizwe unqanyuliwe kumlingani wakho womshado - izinkinga zokulungisa, izindaba zezezimali noma ukungathembeki, ukulutha okungenampilo, noma ukuphazanyiswa abasekhweni.
- Izimpawu ezimbalwa zokunqamula ukuxhumana zihlanganisa igebe lokuxhumana, ukuntuleka kokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, ukuntuleka komzamo, ukungakhulumisani, ukungachithi isikhathi esanele nomunye, noma ukungahileleki ezimpilweni zomunye nomunye.
- Kufanele uzame ukuxhumana nowakwakho futhi - ngokomzwelo, ngokocansi, ngokomoya, ngokunengqondo, njll. - ukwakha umshado oqinile.
- Chithani isikhathi ninomunye, hlanganyelani ezintweni ezijabulisayo, nihambe, xazulula izinkinga zesikhathi esidlule, nibe neseshini yokwenza uthando ngokuzenzekelayo, noma yakhani ubuhlobo obungokomoya nomngane wakho womshado ukuze uqinise ubuhlobo benu.
Ekugcineni, okunquma ukuthi nizozwana kahle kangakanani ukuthi uzimisele kangakanani ukufaka umzamo kuwo. Uma umshado wakho ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima futhi ufuna ukwelulekwa kwemibhangqwana, iphaneli yabelaphi abanolwazi beBonobology ingakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nalezi zikhathi ezinzima, futhi ikuqondise emuva ebuhlotsheni obuhle owawunabo ngaphambili.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Kunzima ukuthi umshado uphile ngaphandle kokuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Kungenxa yokuxhumana okungokomzwelo ungasinda ezihlahleni zomshado. Uma lokho kuxhumana kungasekho, ufana nama-zombies amabili abelana ngombhede ofanayo, yilokho kuphela.
Okokuqala, udinga ukukhomba imbangela eyinhloko yokunqanyulwa komshado. Khona-ke udinga ukuhlola ukuthi zonke izimpawu zokunqanyulwa zikhona yini ebuhlotsheni bakho. Uma uqaphela ukuthi kungani uqhelelana, ungenza imizamo yokuphinda uxhume futhi ubuyele kubhondi enabelane ngayo ngaphambili.
Kufanele uthathe izinyathelo ezibalulekile njengokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, ukuya ngezinsuku, ukuthola indlela yakho yokubuyela emikhubeni yakudala eyalethela nobabili eduze, ukuhlanganyela ekuthinteni okungezona ucansi, ukuzama izinto ezintsha ekamelweni, ukuxhuma kabusha kokubili ngokomzwelo nangokocansi.
Bobabili abalingani kufanele bakwamukele ukuthi bayakhula ngokuhlukana emshadweni futhi kudingeka bathathe izinyathelo eziqinile ukuze baphinde bahlangane. Ukwenza umzamo wokuphinde uxhumane yikho konke okudingeka ukwenze ukuze ubuyisele umshado. Uma udinga usizo, ungazama ukwelulekwa kwabashadile.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
