Izimpawu eziyi-13 ezikhuthazayo zobudlelwano obuhle

Uma usesigabeni se-honeymoon, kulula ukulahlekelwa umbono wamafulegi ambalwa abomvu bese unqotshwa i-dopamine ne-oxytocin rush. Ungakhathazeki - silapha ukuze sikunikeze isheke langempela ngokuxoxa ngezimpawu zokuqala zobudlelwano obuhle! Uma uqala ubudlelwano obusha, qaphela ukuxhumana kwakho emikhakheni emine - imizwa, ngokomzimba, ubuhlakani, kanye nezithakazelo/imisebenzi eyabiwe.

Uma nifuna ukuba umlingani womunye nomunye ukuphila kwenu konke, kufanele nizizwe ninethezekile futhi niphephile ninobabili (ngokomzwelo), nizizwe naneliseke ngokocansi uma ucansi lubalulekile kuwe (ngokomzimba), nihlanganyele ezingxoxweni ezishukumisa ingqondo (zobuhlakani), futhi nithuthukise ubuhlobo benu ngokuhlanganyela emisebenzini ndawonye (izithakazelo ezifanayo).

Uma lezi zikhona ebudlelwaneni bakho, akufanele ukhathazeke. Kodwa-ke, uma lezi zimpawu ezikhuthazayo zobudlelwano obuhle zingekho (ngandlela-thile) ebuhlotsheni bakho bothando, qhubeka ufunda ukuze uthole umbono mayelana nezindawo zokwenza ngcono ekuphileni kwakho kwansuku zonke.

Buyini Ubudlelwano Obuhle Okufanele Bube Ngabo?

Ukuba nesithakazelo esifanayo kumafilimu, umculo, ubuciko, kanye nezincwadi akuyona ukuphela kwesidingo sobuhlobo obuphelele ekuqaleni; akuqinisekisi uxhumano oluhle noluqhubekayo isikhathi eside. Ubuhlobo bakho akudingeki buphelele, kodwa KUMELE bube obanelisayo, obujabulisayo, futhi buhilele imingcele yobudlelwano enempilo . Okuyingqopha-mlando yazo zonke izibopho zothando, nazi izimfanelo eziyisisekelo zobudlelwano obunempilo:

1. Trust: Lesi isisekelo sakho konke ukuxhumana kwabantu. Endabeni yomlingani oseduze, ikhono lokuba nguwe, ube sengozini, uhlole imibono yakho, wabelane ngemicabango yakho, ubuyele emuva - cishe yonke into empilweni yakho incike ekuthembekeni. Kufanele futhi nibe yindawo ephephile yomunye nomunye nohlelo lokweseka imizwelo. Akufanele ucabange kabili ngaphambi kokuvula ibhokisi le-Pandora futhi udalule izimfihlo zakho
2. Ukuzibophezela: Lokhu kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Ebudlelwaneni obuhle, abalingani bazibophezele empilweni yabo ndawonye. Lokhu kuzibophezela kusiza ozakwethu ukuthi baziphendulele ngezenzo zabo, babe uzakwethu ongcono, baxazulule izingxabano, futhi banqobe izikhathi ezinzima ndawonye
3. Ukuziphendulela: Ebudlelwaneni obujwayelekile, kunezikhathi eziningi lapho bobabili abalingani behluleka khona. Kubalulekile ukuziphendulela futhi usho amagama omlingo athi “Ngiyaxolisa” noma “Ngiyakuthanda” lapho kudingeka kunokudlala umdlalo wokusola. Umuntu angafunda kanjani futhi aqhubeke nokulwa?
4. Imingcele: Ubudlelwano obunempilo budinga imingcele ecacile nenhlonipho komunye nomunye imikhawulo, izifiso, izidingo, kanye nezimfuno. Ozakwethu kumele banikezane isikhala ukuze ubuntu bomuntu buchume. Lokhu kufaka phakathi i- indima yokuvuma okuhlobene nokusondelana ngokocansi kanye nezinye izinqumo ezahlukahlukene ebudlelwaneni
5. Ukuxhumana: Ukuxhumana okunempilo kungenye yezimpawu ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyohlala njalo. Kufanele ukwazi ukudlulisa okukukhathazayo, okukukhathazayo, nawo wonke omunye umcabango ngaphandle kokungabaza. Ngeke kube khona ukwethembana, ukuziphendulela, ukubeka imingcele, noma ukuxazululwa kwezingxabano ngaphandle kokuxhumana nokuvuleleka phakathi kwabashadile
6. Ukusondelana: Ngaphandle komzimba kanye ukusondelana ngokomzwelo abantu abavame ukugcizelela kukho, wukusondelana ngokwengqondo, ubuhlakani kanye nolwazi nomlingani wakho okwenza ukuxhumana kuqine futhi kujule. Isibopho esiqinile siyakhuthazela lapho sibhekene nobunzima nokuhamba kwesikhathi
7. Ukulingana: Udinga ukuba sekhasini elifanayo mayelana nazo zonke izici zempilo kanye nophathina wothando. Kungaba imisebenzi yasekhaya, izibopho zezimali, ukwenza izinqumo, indawo ebonakalayo, njll., izidingo zabo bobabili abalingani kufanele bahlangabezane nazo ngokulinganayo. Kufanele kube nokunikela nokuthatha okulinganayo ebuhlotsheni

Yiziphi Izimpawu Zokuqala Zobudlelwane Obuhle?

Abantu bavame ukugxila ezicini ezimbi zobudlelwane. Akuvamile ukuba kube khona ingxoxo mayelana nezimpawu zobudlelwano obuhle kusenesikhathi. Emhlabeni we-utopian, bonke ubudlelwane bothando bungaba yi-hunky-dory futhi ngeke kube khona ukungqubuzana noma izinselele. Ngokudabukisayo, lokhu ngokuvamile akunjalo emhlabeni wangempela ngakho-ke udinga ukuqaphela izimpawu zobudlelwane obuhle kusenesikhathi ukuze uhlole ukuthi kuwufanele yini ukutshalwa kwezimali ngokomzwelo.

Ukuze kube nobudlelwano bothando obuvikelekile, bobabili abalingani badinga ukusebenzela ukushiyeka kwabo futhi benze umzamo oqhubekayo wokuwenza kusebenze. Sikhumbula izisekelo ezingu-7 esixoxe ngazo ngaphambili, ake sibheke izimpawu ezimbalwa zobuhlobo obuhle. Kuzokusiza uqonde isikhundla okuso njengamanje futhi uhlele ngokufanele.

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1. Nobabili nifuna okungaphezu nje kocansi

Uma umlingani wakho enza izinto ngokuzenzakalelayo futhi ezimele ngemva kocansi, lokho akulona uphawu lobuhlobo obunempilo. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kungaba yikona okugxilwe kakhulu ebuhlotsheni uma kungenangqondo noma usanda kuhlanganisa ubumnandi benyama. Kodwa uma ufuna into yesikhathi eside, khona-ke ucansi olukhululekile ngeke luvale isivumelwano. Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ukuthanda kangakanani, bheka isimo sakhe somzimba.

Inkulumo eningi yomcamelo okungadingeki ukuthi igxile ocansini, futhi-ke, ukusondelana ngemva kocansi okungaba yinoma yini kusukela ekubambeni izandla kuye ekugodleni nasekudleni ndawonye noma ukufunda incwadi ndawonye kuyizimpawu zokuthi lobu budlelwano buyilokho obukufunayo.

2. Wabelana ngezintshisekelo eziningi

Ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, imibhangqwana enobuntu obungafani iyakhangana. Futhi ukwamukela ukungezwani komunye nomunye kuyithuba lokufunda nokukhula, kunokuba yisithiyo empilweni ejabulisayo. Kodwa ukwabelana ngezinto ozithandayo nezinto ozithandayo kwenza ubuhlobo obuhle futhi. Izintshisekelo ezifanayo zenza kube nokwenzeka ukuthi bobabili babe abalingani bomsebenzi futhi bachithe isikhathi esiningi ndawonye.

Cabanga ukuthi kungajabulisa kangakanani ukuthola imbongi entsha noma umculi omusha ovela kumuntu omthandayo noma ube nezingxoxo ezivuselelayo ngokuphathelene nentshisekelo yakho yokwabelana nge-cryptocurrency, ukuguquka kwesimo sezulu, noma i-geopolitics. Nokho, akuwona umthetho obhalwe etsheni ukuthi uma ungenazo izinto zokuzilibazisa ezifanayo, ngeke kuphumelele. Izithakazelo ezingafani zingasebenza futhi uma bobabili behloniphana.

3. Awunikezi izaba zokuthi “Ngimatasatasa”

Noma ngabe umatasa kangakanani empilweni, ungahlala uphephisa izikhathi ezimbalwa ukuze ushayele/uthumele umbhalo kumlingani wakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bungakanani, hlala wenze umzamo wokubukhulisa. Ukuphendula emibhalweni ngesikhathi esifanele, ukubonisa izinsuku zeviki/nyanga zonke, ukuba nezingcingo ezisezingeni eliphezulu njalo nje kuyizimpawu ezinhle ezigabeni zokuqala zobudlelwano.

Abantu abaningi baqala ukuyithatha kalula ngemva kwesikhashana futhi akusona isimo sengqondo esifanele uma ufuna ukuba sebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Ukuba khona komunye nomunye ngisho noma nimatasa kuwuphawu olukhulu ukuthi ubuhlobo benu buzohlala buqinile. Ukuphindaphinda okuthi “Oh bengimatasatasa kakhulu” ifulegi elikhulu elibomvu.

4. Nobabili niyalalela futhi niyaxhumana

Ingabe umlingani wakho uyapheqa ocingweni lwakhe noma unikeza izimpendulo zezwi elilodwa uma ukhuluma naye? Ingabe bayaphazamiseka noma abakho engqondweni uma ukhuluma? Uma bekwenza lokho, yazi ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha akungeni ngaphansi kwezimpawu zobudlelwano obuhle futhi nobabili ninezinkinga ezinkulu zokuxhumana.

Izisekelo zobudlelwano obuhle zihilela ukuthi bobabili abalingani balalelane ngesineke futhi bakhumbule imininingwane ebalulekile ngomunye nomunye. Futhi, ukuxhumana okuhle kuyadingeka ngisho nalapho nilwa noma nisezimweni ezishubile - ukubalekela isimo noma ukuba nolaka ngaphandle kokwenza noma yini akuyona indlela enempilo yokubhekana nokuxabana, noma ukuxazulula izingxabano ngempumelelo.

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5. Ukhululekile ukuvula

Kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukujabulisa umlingani wakho ngesikhathi se-honeymoon yobudlelwano benu kodwa uma ukwenza lokho ukuze ubonakale ufiseleka kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi, khona-ke ngokuqinisekile akulona uphawu olukhuthazayo lobuhlobo obuhle. Uzifihla ubuwena bangempela futhi awukwazi ukuba yiqiniso. Buyini iphuzu lobudlelwano uma ungakwazi ukuyekelela futhi uxoxe ngempilo yakho nothandiweyo wakho? Uma kukhona ukuqonda esikhundleni sokwahlulela kuzo zombili iziphetho, khona-ke kungesinye sezibonakaliso ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho buzohlala.

6. Ubungaza impumelelo yabo

Ukugubha impumelelo yomunye nomunye nokusekela omunye ngokusobala kungenye yezimpawu ezinhle ekuqaleni kobudlelwano njengoba kusiza ekwakheni ukuxhumana nokwethembana. Lokhu kusiza ekuqiniseni ubuhlobo benu . Ngezinye izikhathi sivame ukungaqiniseki ngempumelelo yabalingani bethu kodwa khumbula ukuthi ekugcineni, babuyela ekhaya KUWE.

Uma nikulokhu isikhathi eside, sekuyisikhathi sokuyeka leyo micabango ebanga umona futhi nibone ukuthi nina nobabili niseqenjini elilodwa. Yiba nomdlandla ngempumelelo yabo kanye nokuwina kwabo futhi ubonge ukuphikelela kwabo, ukusebenza kanzima, kanye nethalente. Uma nobabili nikuthola kulula ukuzizwa nijabule ngomlingani wenu, ningaba nesiqiniseko sokuthi ubudlelwano benu bunempilo.

7. Uxolisa ngempela uma kuyiphutha lakho

Uzakwethu ongalawulwa ukuzidla kwakhe futhi ozimisele ukuxolisa uma enze iphutha ungunozinti. Ukungawagcini amaphuzu kanye nokuxolisa kwangempela kuyizimpawu zokuqala zobudlelwano obuhle. Gwema izimpendulo eziqondile njengokuthi “Kulungile,” “Ungakhathali,” nokuthi “Noma yini” lapho nilwa.

Uma wena nophathina wakho nithatha isibopho ngezenzo zenu futhi nihlale niziphendulela, ikusasa lenu ndawonye liqhakazile futhi lizinzile. Ukungezwani kungokwemvelo kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano, kodwa khumbula ukuthi umbhangqwana onempilo ulwa ngokufanele futhi uzama ukuqonda umbono womunye.

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8. Uzama izinto ezintsha ekamelweni

Ukuhambisana ngokocansi kuhamba ibanga elide ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano. Kungenye yezimpawu ezikhuthazayo zobudlelwano obuhle uma nivumelana ngemibono ehlekisayo kanye namaphupho ocansi kusukela ekuqaleni. Ungase ube namaphupho afaka phakathi abantu abathathu, ukusebenzisa amathoyizi ocansi, noma ukuba namahloni emphakathini - noma ngabe yini, kubalulekile ukuthi ukwazi ukuwaveza kumlingani wakho ngaphandle kokungabaza. Ukuba nguwe ekamelweni lokulala ngaphandle kokuxolisa kungenye yezimpawu zokuqala zobudlelwano obuhle.

9. Nihloniphana

Ukungazami ukuphoqelela izindinganiso noma izinqumo komunye nomunye kuyisibonakaliso sokuqala sobudlelwano obuhle. Uma kukhona ukungalungi kwemizwa phakathi kwabalingani, anikwazi ukuhlonipha umbono womunye nomunye. Ningabi nemibono eqine kakhulu noma eqinile emibonweni yenu; vumani ukungavumelani futhi ningazami ukushintshana. Nikani omunye nomunye isikhala sokuphishekela izintshisekelo zakhe. Abanye abantu bacaphuna izibonelo zokuhloniphana , ngaphezu kothando, njengezinkomba zobudlelwano obunempilo.

10. Wabelana ngezindinganiso ezifanayo kanye nemigomo yokuphila

Ngisho noma ungenazo izinkanuko nezinto zokuzilibazisa ezifana nozakwenu, ubudlelwano bungasebenza. Izinkinga ziphakama uma kunemigomo nezimiso zokuphila ezingafani. Ubuhlobo obuhle buhlanganisa ukucabanga emigqeni efanayo. Kuwuphawu lokucindezeleka ebudlelwaneni bakho uma ungakwazi ukuhlangabezana nenye indlela yakho ebalulekile ezintweni ezibalulekile.

Ake sithathe isibonelo sezingane. Uma omunye wenu efuna izingane kanti omunye engafuni, ekugcineni, othile kumele ayekethise, akunjalo? Futhi, uma abalingani benezinkolelo ezehlukene zenkolo, izinkinga zingase ziphakame njengomuntu ongakholelwa ebukhoneni bukaNkulunkulu futhi i-theist ngokuvamile ibheka impilo ngendlela ehlukile.

11. Nina nobabili aninazo izindaba zokuthembana

Umuzwa ovikelekile wokunamathela kubo bobabili abalingani ungenye yezimpawu zokuqala zobudlelwano obunempilo nesoka noma intombi. Uma ubudlelwano bakho besikhathi esidlule bebuhle, unethuba eliphezulu lokuba nomuzwa ophakeme wokuvuthwa mayelana nokunamathela noma ukuzibophezela.

Kodwa-ke, uma ubudlelwano bakho bulokhu bushintshashintsha, ungase ube nezinkinga zokuthembana ezingathinta ubudlelwano bakho bothando futhi ungase ufune izimpawu zokungakhululeki ngisho noma bekhuluma iqiniso. Uma niphathana kahle, ningathembelana, futhi nithola induduzo, induduzo, kanye nokuvikeleka komunye nomunye, khona-ke kuwuphawu lokuthi ubudlelwano benu buzohlala isikhathi eside.

12. Nobabili nihlelwe ngokwezimali

Uma bobabili ozakwethu bezimele ngokwezimali, kukhuthaza ukuzwana kuzibalo zabo. Ukungaceli umlingani wakho ukuthi akhokhe zonke izikweletu futhi aphathe indlu kuholela ezimpilweni zothando ezingenzima. Uma umlingani oyedwa ethembele komunye ngokwezimali, bangaxabana phakathi kwabo mayelana nokuvikeleka kwezezimali, izibopho, izikweletu, izikweletu zezindlu, nokunye. Izinto zingaba zimbi kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngesihloko sokuncika ngokwezimali ngesikhathi sokulwa.

Ngaphandle uma kunjalo, unombono ojwayelekile futhi omunye ufuna ukuba ngumondli wekhaya omunye umondli. Kulokhu, nobabili niyaqonda futhi nihloniphe izindima ezifunwa omunye nomunye (kanye nemisebenzi yesikhathi esigcwele). Kwezinye izimo, kungcono ukuthi iholo lakho lihlungwe futhi ube nokulawula okuphelele kuleyo ngxenye yempilo. Ukuzimela ngokwezimali okufanayo kungase kube uphawu lokuthi lobu budlelwano buyilokho okufunayo.

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13. Imizamo yakho ayiguquki

Izinto ezenza ubudlelwano obuhle zihlobene nokuzibophezela ekwenzeni ubudlelwano busebenze. Ukungaguquguquki kuvula indlela yokwethembana, okwenza umbhangqwana usondelane kakhudlwana. Ukugcina izithembiso zakho cishe kuwuphawu olungcono kakhulu lokuqala lobuhlobo obuhle. Shayela ngesikhathi uthe uzofona futhi ungakhanseli izinhlelo ngomzuzu wokugcina.

Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili niqala izingxoxo ezivamile, nichitha isikhathi nixoxa ngokuthi usuku lwenu luhambe kanjani futhi nizama ukuthola imibono yokuqomisana ejabulisayo . Kumelwe ukuba ujwayelene nesisho esithi “Izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi”? Yilokho kuphela … vumela izenzo zakho zikhulumele zona. Vumela imizamo yakho ibonakale.

Ubudlelwano bungathathwa njengobungenampilo uma izinto ezimbi ziqala ukudlula okuhle. Amanye amafulegi abomvu ahlanganisa ukuphathwa kancane nokulawulwa, ukushiya izinto ozijabulelayo noma ozithandayo, ukungabi nandawo, ukudebeselela obunye ubudlelwano, ukuzizwa unesibopho sokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, ​​ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana, nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba kanye/noma ngokomzwelo.

Nakuba ukuhlukunyezwa kufanele kube yinto engenakwenzeka, ezinye zalezi zinkinga zingaxazululwa ngokuxhumana okufanele, ukuqonda, kanye nokubekezela. Ungabi nokhahlo kakhulu kuwe noma kumlingani wakho uma ubhekene nenkinga yobudlelwano. Zama ukuhlola imbangela bese usebenza kuyo. Umeluleki onekhono angakusiza ukuthi ufinyelele emnyombweni wezinkinga zakho, usebenze ngazo, futhi uqondise ubudlelwano bakho endleleni efanele. Ngephaneli yeBonobology yabeluleki abanelayisensi nabanolwazi, usizo olufanele lumane nje luyinto yokuchofoza.

Lesi sihloko sabuyekezwa ngoFebhuwari 2023.

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