Izindlela Eziyi-15 Eziqinisekisiwe Zokubonisa Umuntu Omthandayo

Ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwe uMnyango Wezesayensi Yezenhlalo waseStanford, ama-70% emibhangqwana engashadile ayahlukana phakathi nonyaka wokuqala. Lesi sibalo sehla saya kuma-20% ngemva kokuba sebethandane iminyaka ecishe ibe mihlanu. Ngokuvamile imibhangqwana iyahlukana ngoba ayazi ukuthi ingambonisa kanjani umuntu ukuthi iyamthanda.

Uma kwenzeka, ufuna izinkinga zivune wena futhi ufuna ubudlelwano bakho buqhubeke, kufanele uthole indlela yokwazisa umlingani wakho imizwa yakho yangempela. Kodwa lokhu akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi njengoba ngezinye izikhathi silahlekelwa futhi asazi ukuthi singalubonisa kanjani uthando lwethu. Abantu abaningi abasebudlelwaneni bavamise ukuzizwa bephelelwe uthando ngemva kwesigaba se-honeymoon lapho abalingani babo beyeka ukuveza imizwa yabo.

Uma amagama amathathu omlingo ehluleka njengokuqinisekisa imizwa yakho, kufanele umbe ujule enhliziyweni yomlingani wakho ukuze umenze azizwe ekhathalelwa. Ngakho-ke, umqeqeshi wakho wobudlelwano u-Bonobology uthatha izintambo kusukela lapha ukuze akulungiselele ngezindlela ezahlukene zokubonisa uthando lwakho ngamazwi, ngezenzo, nangayo yonke inhliziyo yakho!

Izindlela eziyi-15 zokubonisa umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda

Ubudlelwano bonke buhlukile futhi ngokuvamile abalingani babelana ngezikhathi zokusondelana futhi amahlaya angaphakathi kuphela abawaqondayo. Ngakho-ke, kubo bonke ubudlelwano, imibhangqwana inezilimi zothando ezahlukene. Uma uthandana nomuntu othanda ukudla, ungabonisa uthando lwakho ngokupheka ukudla abakuthandayo naye. Kodwa-ke, uma uthandana nomuntu othandana naye ongenathemba , ungase ufune ukuhlela usuku oluhle nolumangalisayo ukuze ubasuse ezinyaweni zabo.

Asikwazi ukugcizelela ngokwanele ukubaluleka kokuqonda ulimi lothando lomlingani wakho kanye nolwakho ukuze uveze imizwa yakho. Uma eyakho iyizenzo zokukhonza futhi umlingani wakho ekhululekile ngamazwi okuqinisekisa, izenzo zothando zingase zingawudluliseli umyalezo. Kufanele ubeke imizwa yakho ngamazwi futhi wazise uthando lwempilo yakho ukuthi lusho ukuthini kuwe.

Kungaba nzima njengoba udinga ukwazi umlingani wakho ngaphakathi kulokhu. Kodwa ungakhathazeki. Uma kwenzeka, uyazibuza ukuthi ungambonisa kanjani umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda noma engakukholwa, sesizoveza izindlela eziyi-15 ezifakazelwe zokubuyisela uthando nothando ebudlelwaneni bakho:

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1. Batshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani

Ungalokothi uwathathe kancane amandla okuxhumana. Enye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuveza imizwa yakho ngomuntu othile ukubatshela. Lawo magama amathathu amangalisayo anesisindo esikhulu futhi anencazelo ngisho noma ucabanga ukuthi aseyinto evamile. Kodwa-ke, ukuxoxa ngemizwa yakho nomlingani wakho akugcini nje ngokuthi “Ngiyakuthanda”. Uma umthanda ngempela umuntu futhi ufuna ukumfakazela, kufanele uxoxe ngemizwa yakho neminye – kokubili emihle nemibi.

Ukwabelana ngosuku lwakho, okuhlangenwe nakho empilweni yakho, amathemba, amaphupho, nokwesaba nomunye umuntu kuzokusondeza kubo. Lapho uvulela umlingani wakho isifuba, ikakhulukazi ngemicabango yakho engemihle kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, kuzombonisa ukuthi ubabheka njengengxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwakho. Amazwi acatshangelwayo okuqinisekisa asebenza kahle kakhulu lapho uzama ukubonisa umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda ngemva kokumzwisa ubuhlungu.

2. Izinto ezincane zihamba ibanga elide

Uyazi abakushoyo, izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi. Akukuhle yini uma umlingani wakho ekunakekela ngezinto ezincane njengokukulalisa lapho ungaphilile, ukukutholela ucezu lwekhekhe lakho olithandayo lapho uzizwa uphansi, noma ukumane ukhumbule imininingwane emincane owabatshela yona kudala? Kukwenza uzizwe ufudumele futhi uthandwa. Ngakho-ke uma uzibuza ukuthi ungalufakazela kanjani uthando lwakho kumuntu, nansi indlela okufanele uhambe ngayo!

Ukubabonisa ukuthi uyabakhathalela kungaphezu kwemiyalezo yothando ethi “Ngiyakuthanda”. Zinikele ukubapheka, ukubanika usuku lokuphumula e-spa, noma ukumane uhambe usuku lonke ubancoma. Qaphela abakuthandayo nabangakuthandi. Khumbula ukuthi bayayithanda kanjani ikhofi yabo noma ushokoledi wabo omnyama abawuthandayo. Sithembe uma sikutshela ukuthi lezi zinto ezincane zingenza izimangaliso ebudlelwaneni bakho. Futhi iqiniso liwukuthi, uma umthanda ngempela lo muntu, uzokwenza lezi zinto ngokungazikhetheli ngaphandle kokuqaphela.

3. Bamangaze ukuze ubabonise ukuthi uyabathanda

Uma ufuna ukubonisa umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda ngaphandle kwamazwi, mmangaze. Ubani ongazithandi izimanga? Isimanga kungaba yinoma yini kusukela ekumthengeleni lezo zicathulo abezibhekile isikhathi eside kuya ekwenzeni iphathi elimangalisayo. Uma umlingani wakho ejabulela ulimi lothando olunikeza izipho , ezinye izenzo zothando nezipho ezicatshangelwe kahle zizomane zimmangaze. Ukuze ubonise uthando lwakho ebudlelwaneni obude, ungahlela ukuvakasha okumangalisayo.

Lena enye yezindlela zokudala zokubonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi umthanda kangakanani ngoba ungakwazi ukulenza libe elakho futhi ulilungise ngendlela okuthandwa umaqondana wakho nalokho akuthandayo. Omunye wabafundi bethu, u-Alicia, usitshele ukuthi lokhu kwamsiza kanjani ukuthi adlule esimweni esingesihle ebudlelwaneni bakhe. “Izinto zazinzima kakhulu futhi kwakubonakala sengathi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi senzani, isikhala phakathi kwethu sakhula.” Kwathi ngolunye usuku, isoka lami langimangaza ngokuphunyuka ngezimpelasonto, futhi kusukela lapho, siye sasondelana kakhulu kunangaphambili,” uyahlanganyela.

4. Yiba khona lapho ngenxa yobunzima nobubi

Umqinisekisa kanjani umuntu omthandayo? Vele ube lapho kubo. Lesi isethembiso esingashiwongo enisenzayo uma nithandana. Uma umlingani wakho ebhekene nesimo esinzima, mtshele ukuthi uyaqonda. Ngisho noma ukukhathazeka noma izinkinga zabo zibonakala kungenangqondo, zilalele. Ukuba sothandweni akukhona nje izinto ezinhle nezinsuku ezimnandi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukwabelana ngemizwa nokunikeza ukwesekwa lapho kudingekile kakhulu yikho okuqinisa ubuhlobo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Uthando ngezinye izikhathi lungaba yinselele ngempela. Abantu bayinkimbinkimbi futhi bafika nemithwalo yabo yemizwa kanye nokungazethembi. Uma usebudlelwaneni obungathi sína, kufanele ube khona ukuze usize umlingani wakho ebuhleni nasebubini. Yilokhu uthando lweqiniso oluyikho. Ukuba khona ngenxa yobuhle, ububi, kanye nokubi ngaphandle kokukhononda yindlela obonisa ngayo umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda. Uma lokhu kubonakala kungumsebenzi omkhulu kuwe, mhlawumbe awukakulungeli ubudlelwano obungathi sína obuzimisele.

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5. Mncome umlingani wakho

Amantombazane, abafana, izingane, abadala, wonke umuntu uthanda izincomo. Amazwana alula, amnandi avela kuwe angenza usuku lozakwenu. Lokhu kungaba yindlela enhle yokubonisa othile ukuthi uyamthanda ngombhalo futhi. Ungabathumelela umlayezo ubatshele indlela ababukeka bebahle ngayo namuhla noma ukuthi uziqhenya kangakanani ngalokho abakufezile.

Khumbula, ukuncoma akudingeki kube ngokubukeka komzimba kuphela, kungaba mayelana nobuntu noma izimfanelo zomuntu. Uma ungumuntu wesifazane ozibuza ukuthi, “Uyibonisa kanjani indoda ukuthi uyayithanda?”, ukuncoma ubuhle bakho kungaba yindlela enhle yokwenza kanjalo. Amadoda nawo ayawathanda ama-comments. Nazi ezinye izincomo ongazinika indoda yakho ukuze ijabulele usuku lwayo futhi ibonise uthando lwakho.

6. Yakha ubuhlobo nabantu ababalulekile kumlingani wakho

Uma uzama ukuphumela obala ngemizwa yakho ngaphandle kokukusho, yenza umlingani wakho abone ukuthi abantu ababalulekile kuye babalulekile nakuwe. Sivame ukukhohlwa lesi sici sobudlelwano njengoba sibheka ubudlelwano njengobuphakathi kwezithandani ezimbili. Kodwa empeleni, kungaphezu kwalokho.

Sonke sinabantu ababalulekile kithi futhi sifuna abalingani bethu bazwane nabo. Ukugunyaza kwabo ozakwethu futhi okuphambene nalokho kubaluleke kakhulu kithi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyakuvuma noma cha. Omunye wemibuzo esivame ukuyithola uthi – ungambonisa kanjani umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda ebe engakukholwa?

Ukubonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamkhathalela, hhayi nje kuphela kodwa futhi nangabantu ababalulekile kuye, kuyindlela eqinisekile yokwenza kanjalo. Laba bantu bangaba umndeni wabo, abangane, noma ngisho nezilwane ezifuywayo. Okudingeka ukwenze nje ukuzama ukwakha ubuhlobo nabo ukuze umlingani wakho azizwele uthando olungenamibandela onalo ngaye.

7. Khumbula izinsuku/izinsuku ezibalulekile kubo

Cha, lokhu akusho nje usuku lwabo lokuzalwa kanye nesikhumbuzo sakho. Lokho kuvunyiwe. Uma umthanda othile futhi ufuna ukukubonisa, sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba ibanga elide futhi ukhumbule ezinye izinsuku ezibalulekile, ikakhulukazi lezo ezimaka ingqopha-mlando yobudlelwano obuhlukile, futhi uzenze zikhetheke kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kungabandakanya isikhathi sokuqala eniphuma ngaso nobabili, usuku enaqabulana ngalo okokuqala, umsebenzi wokuqala owatholwa umlingani wakho, noma isikhumbuzo somsebenzi.

Lezi zinsuku zizoba zibalulekile kumlingani wakho. Futhi ungamtshela ukuthi zibaluleke kangakanani kuwe ngokwenza isiqinisekiso sokuthi ungakhohlwa lezi zinsuku ezibalulekile . Ukuzikhumbula nje kuzokwanela ukukhombisa uthando lwakho kothile. Okudingeka ukwenze nje ukumshiyela inothi noma ukumtshela ukuthi luwusuku olukhethekile kangakanani bese uletha ukumamatheka ebusweni bakhe.

8. Cela umbono wabo futhi uwazise

Uma uthanda umuntu, ngokwemvelo uzofuna iseluleko nombono wakhe ngaphambi kokwenza izinqumo zakho eziningi. Kusuka kuliphi ihembe lombala ongathenga kulo ukuthi uzokwamukela isiphi isipho somsebenzi, kufanele uthintane nabo kukho konke. Lokhu kuhamba ibanga elide ekuboniseni ukuthi uyayihlonipha imibono yabo nokuthi ibaluleke kangakanani kuwena.

Uma ungakakwenzi lokhu kakade, kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho uzizwa eshiywe ngaphandle ezinqumweni zakho zempilo ngakho-ke, akathandwa. Bangase bazizwe bengenandaba. Yebo, isikhala somuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni siyadingeka kodwa esiningi kakhulu singenza umlingani wakho azizwe engabalulekile. Mthumelele izithombe ezimbili zezingubo bese ubuza, “Mntanami, iyiphi okufanele ngihambe nayo emhlanganweni?” Ukukhombisa umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda ngomyalezo kulula kanjalo.

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9. Benze bazizwe bekhethekile ngezimpawu zothando

Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuze ubonise imizwa yakho ejulile ngomlingani wakho, kufanele wenze ngendlela yama-rom-com. Uyakhumbula lapho uTed Mosby entshontsha uphondo lwesiFulentshi oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka kuRobin ku- How I Met Your Mother futhi sonke sathi “Awww”? Manje, leso kwakuyisenzo sothando esenza umlando ku-TV.

Ungakhathazeki, asikuceli ukuthi webe imihlobiso ezindaweni zokudlela, usuku lokuthandana olumangalisayo lungenza umzamo. Thatha umlingani wakho uye endaweni owaya kuyo ngosuku lwakho lokuqala , noma udle isidlo sakusihlwa esithule ngaphansi kwesihlahla lapho waqabulana khona okokuqala. Amathuba awapheli. Ungazigodli ngoba lokhu kungenye yezindlela zokudala kakhulu zokubonisa uthando.

10. Zama ukungabalimazi futhi ubuyisele kubo uma wenza kanjalo

Yiqiniso, ezweni elihle, awusoze walimaza othandekayo wakho kwasekuqaleni. Kodwa impilo ayilona uhlobo olunjalo futhi uzogcina ubangele ubuhlungu kubantu obathandayo, ngokuzithandela noma ngokungazi. Ungambonisa kanjani umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda ngemva kokumzwisa ubuhlungu? Xolisa.

Vuma amaphutha akho noma ukhulume ngezinto ezikukhathazayo. Batshele ukuthi yini eholele kulesi simo nokuthi uzisola kanjani futhi ufuna ukulungisa izinto. Futhi, xolisa ngokubalimaza . Asikwazi ukugcizelela lokhu ngokwanele. Ukuxolisa ngamaphutha akho ngeke kukwenze umuntu omncane, empeleni, kuzobonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamthanda kakhulu ngoba ukhathalela ngokwanele ukuba ubeke eceleni ubugovu bakho.

11. Amanothi othando ayindlela enhle yokubonisa umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda ngombhalo

Cabanga ngalokhu, umlingani wakho uvuka ekuseni ngolunye usuku, ahlole ifoni yakhe, futhi afunde umlayezo omuhle kakhulu ovela kuwe obatshela ukuthi bayenza kanjani impilo yakho ibe ngcono kakhulu. Ngeke ube khona ukuze ubone ukumamatheka ebusweni babo, kodwa singabheja, sizofaneleka sonke isikhathi osichithe uqamba lelo nothi lothando bese kuba okunye. Uma kade nithandana futhi inhlansi yokuqala iyancipha kancane kancane, le milayezo iyindlela enhle yokubonisa othile ukuthi uyamthanda ngamazwi futhi ugcine uthando luphila.

12. Ukuthinta umzimba kukhuluma kakhulu ngemizwa yakho

Indlela othinta ngayo isithandwa sakho ingaveza imizwa yakho ngqo enhliziyweni yakho. Futhi akukhona nje kuphela ngezinyathelo zocansi. Ukuthinta okungeyona i-sex kuletha ukugcwala kwama-hormone ajabulisayo emzimbeni wakho (i-oxytocin, i-serotonin, i-dopamine), okwenza wonke umlingo!

Izifundo zibonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana ethintana kakhulu ivame ukujabula njengoba kukhuthaza ukuxhumana nokuphumula, kuyilapho kwakha nokusondelana. Izenzo zomzimba ezithambile nezinothando njengokubambana ngezandla, ukubhoboza esihlathini, ukuxubha izinwele zabo ngeminwe yakho, noma ukwangana okufudumele noma ukugona kusofa ngosuku olunemvula kwenza lukhulu ekuvezeni imizwa yakho yangempela.

13. Bonisa ukubonga

Sonke silangazelela ukuqinisekiswa nokunconywa, ikakhulukazi kumuntu obaluleke kakhulu ezimpilweni zethu. Ukugcwalisa leso sidingo sokubonga nokuqinisekiswa kungaba yindlela enhle yokubonisa othile ukuthi uyamthanda. Uma umlingani wakho ekwenzela into enhle, noma into elula njengokwenza isidlo sakho sasekuseni, wazise umzamo wabo. Futhi ngokweqiniso awudingi isizathu sokubonisa ukubonga kwakho umlingani wakho. Ukuba khona kwabo nje empilweni yakho kufanele kukwenze ubonge. Bakhumbuze ukuthi uba nenhlanhla kangakanani njalo futhi kuzokwenza umehluko.

14. Chitha isikhathi esihle ne-SO yakho

Akukho ukudlula ulimi lothando lwesikhathi esingcono uma kukhulunywa ngokuveza imizwa yakho ngezimpawu zomzimba. Njengoba uchitha usuku nothando lwempilo yakho, nobabili kuphela, kuvula umnyango wamathuba amaningi okusondelana emazingeni amaningi ahlukene. Niyakhuluma, niyaqabulana, niyadansa, nipheka ukudla ndawonye - le misebenzi ebonakala ivamile ingaba namandla amakhulu ekunisizeni ukuthi niphinde nixhumane futhi nibonise uthando lwenu ngaphandle kokusho izwi.

15. Zama ukuba ngcono ekulaleleni

Ungambonisa kanjani umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda uma engakholwa, ikakhulukazi ngemva kokukopela? Kufanele uvumele umlingani wakho ukuthi athule. Zama ukuzwelana futhi ucabange ukuthi yini okumele ngabe babhekene nayo ngemuva kokushaywa yisambulo esicindezelayo sokungathembeki kwakho.

Bangase bakhale futhi bamemeze futhi kufanele ube lapho ukuze ubabambe kukho konke uma unephutha kodwa ufuna ukukhombisa umlingani wakho ukuthi usabalulekile kuwe. Leso yisona sizathu esihle sokukhombisa ukuthi uyaphenduka futhi ufuna akuthethelele. Lokhu akugcini nje ngezikhathi lapho ukhohlise noma ulimaze umlingani wakho ngandlela thile. Ukulalela kusebenza izimangaliso ekuqiniseni ubuhlobo bakho ne-SO yakho ngisho noma konke kungamaphethelo phakathi kwenu nobabili.

Ekhuluma ngokubaluleka kokulalela okusebenzayo, ubudlelwano kanye nokusondelana, umqeqeshi uShivanya Yogmayaa utshele iBonobology ngaphambilini, “Kufanele uqaphele ukuthi kukhona umehluko phakathi kokuzwa nokulalela. Uzwa ngezindlebe zakho kodwa ulalela ngazo zonke izinzwa zakho, ngomzimba wakho wonke. Izimpawu zomzimba ezifana nokunqekuzisa ikhanda kanye nokuxhumana ngamehlo kwenza omunye umuntu azi ukuthi uhileleke ngempela engxoxweni ngaphandle kweziphazamiso.” Impela kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokubonisa ukuthi uyabathanda ngaphandle kwamazwi ebudlelwaneni obude.

Uthando lungenye yezinto ezenza ukuphila kuleli zwe elinobunzima kube yinto efanele . Ukuthola umngane wakho womphefumulo kuyinto ongayifanisa nayo. Futhi uma usumtholile, into yokugcina ofuna ukuyenza ukuphazamisa izinto. Yilapho ukukhombisa uthando lwakho nokuveza imizwa yakho kuba yinto ebalulekile. Ngakho-ke, bonisa uthando lwakho kumlingani wakho futhi ubambelele kuye ngenjabulo kuze kube phakade.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.