Lezi Ziyi-15 Zizokwenza Uthando Lwakho Luhlale Phakade

Ukungena othandweni kungenye into futhi ukwenza lolo thando luhlale phakade kungenye into. Sonke sifuna uthando oluhlala njalo, kodwa kanjani? Ngaphandle kokuzibuza ukuthi ungayenza kanjani imali, lona omunye umbuzo obuzwa kaningi ngaphandle kwempendulo ephelele. Uyabona, ukuthandana kuyingxenye eyodwa kodwa ukwenza lolo thando oluyigugu luhlale lukhona, manje yilapho umsebenzi wangempela uqala khona futhi ungabavumeli bakutshele okuhlukile - kuwumsebenzi. Uhlobo oluhle kakhulu lomsebenzi mhlawumbe, kodwa umsebenzi wangempela futhi akukho ukuzungeza kuwo.

Kwadlula umngane wami ubuhlungu benhliziyo ngemva kokuqomisana isikhathi eside. Wabe esehlangana nomyeni wakhe manje. Wayengaqiniseki, ephukile, engavikelekile. “Kancane kancane ngesenzo sakhe nokuqonda kwakhe kwangenza ngabona ukuthi uthando luyini ngempela.Kuthe lapho esecela umshado futhi sashada ngafunga ukuthi ngizobenza lobu budlelwano buhlale unomphela.Kube wumsebenzi onzima, kuba nezimo ezingezinhle kodwa sekuyiminyaka engu-25 manje futhi nginesiqiniseko sokuthi manje sengiyayazi indlela yokwenza ubudlelwano buqhubeke impilo yonke,” kusho yena.     

Indlela Yokwenza Uthando Luhlale Phakade

Kuthiwa uma kuziwa othandweni “phakade” kuyinkohliso. Kodwa uma ubuza izithandani esezinenjabulo ndawonye iminyaka zingasho ukuthi uthando luyashintsha lusuka entubeni luze lube yinto evamile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kodwa uma uqhubeka nokululungisa ungenza ubuhlobo bungapheli. 

Ngakho kanjani ukwenza uthando luhlale phakade? Uma ulandela lawa macebiso angu-15, ubuhlobo bakho buyohlale bugubuzelwe othandweni.

1.Yakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni

Thembela ebudlelwaneni kuyinqubo. Sivame ukuzishisa thina kanye nabantu abaningi esigxotsheni lapho ukungabaza kungena, kodwa kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi ukungabaza kuwuhlobo oluthile lokwesaba, futhi ukwesaba kuwumqondo wemvelo okufanele usixwayise futhi usivikele. Kufanele silalele futhi sihloniphe isixwayiso futhi singasivumeli siqhube ubudlelwano.

Ukwethemba umuntu kuthatha isikhathi nokuba sengozini, kodwa othandweni, iyona ndlela kuphela yokuya phambili. Uma ufuna uthando lwenu luhlale phakade kuzomele nithembane futhi ningalokothi nivumele iota lokungabaza lingene. 

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2. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kungcwele

Ukusondelana ngokomzimba iyingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu, ecishe ibe ngcwele kakhulu yobudlelwano bothando. Ngaphandle uma ungumuntu othanda ubulili, lapho kunjalo yeqa leli phuzu futhi uye kwelilandelayo (Akukho ukwahlulela, wonke umuntu wamukelekile othandweni.) Ukuhambisana kwesisu nesisu, njengoba ngithanda ukukubiza, kungathatha isikhathi futhi kuyinto okufanele ukutshala kuyo.

Ukuba nocansi olukhulu kuyindlela yokuxhumana ebuhlotsheni, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu baneminyaka emingaki. Kugcina ubudlelwano buphila. Udinga ukuqhubeka nokusebenza ngokusondelana ngokomzimba ukuze wenze ubuhlobo buhlale njalo. 

3. Khulisa inhlonipho ukuze wenze uthando lwakho luhlale njalo

Lokhu kuyisisekelo sothando oluhlala isikhathi eside. Ngaphandle kwenhlonipho, abukho ubuqotho ebudlelwaneni. Ningase ningavumelani ngepolitiki, ukuziphatha, imibono, kodwa uma ungakuhloniphi, akukho ukulingana kulobo budlelwano futhi buphenduka into efile engenamuntu. Ukuhlonipha umuntu omthandayo kusho ukumphatha ngendlela emenza azizwe ejabule ngaye, lokho kusho ukuthi uqinisekise ukukhetha kwakhe.

Ukugxekwa njalo, ngisho noma ucabanga ukuthi kuzuzisa wena, kungaba nomthelela omubi. Amazwi akho, izenzo zakho, yonke into mayelana nendlela yakho yokuzibandakanya nothando lwakho kufanele kwendlalwe ngenhlonipho.

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4. Ukwethembeka kungamandla ashukumisayo

Ukholwa noma ungakholwa, asikho isidingo sokuthi uthembeke ngaso sonke isikhathi ebudlelwaneni. Kumayelana nokwazi ukuthi kufanele uqambe amanga nini. Ngikhuluma ngamanga amhlophe, kunjalo. Uma wazi ukuthi umlingani wakho akabukeki kahle kodwa umtshela ukuthi uyambulala, uyawina. Ungase ungabi qotho noma ukhulume iqiniso, kodwa lokho kulungile inqobo nje uma kungenabungozi.

Amanga amhlophe enza umhlaba wothando ujikeleze futhi abalulekile kubo bonke ubudlelwane. Amanga amhlophe alungile. Wonke umbhangqwana usebenzisa lezo kodwa uma ufuna uthando lwakho luhlale phakade qiniseka ukuthi awulokothi ungathembeki ngendlela elimazayo. Kubi lokho ebudlelwaneni. 

5. Yibani nezinhloso ezifanayo

Indaba yokungena othandweni lokuzala yisizini edlule kangangoba asifuni nokuyikhuluma. Yebo, abantu bayaqhubeka nokuzala, kodwa lokho akusesona isizathu esiyinhloko sothando. Yisiphi-ke isizathu esiyinhloko? Imigomo eyabiwe. Abantu bafuna ukwakha imibuso ndawonye. Noma ngabe lelo yibhizinisi, umbono, nanoma yini enye. Kubashadikazi namuhla, umndeni omkhulu wamaNdiya okhuluphele awuwona umgomo.

Ukuthola lelo fulethi endaweni ephakemeyo, ukuya ehhovisi ekhoneni, ukuba nakho konke kuwumgomo futhi bavame ukusekelana ngale migomo. Lezi zinhloso ezihlanganyelwe yizona ezithwala abantu abaningi ezihlahleni zothando.

6. Uhlelo lweValue lubalulekile ukwenza uthando lwakho luhlale phakade

Ukuze kwakhiwe imibuso, babe naleyo nhloso efanayo, abantu abaningi badinga a uhlelo lwevelu lokho kuyafana uma kungabiwe. Uyabona, akukhona ukuthanda umuntu onezindinganiso ezinkulu; uma unamanani 'aphansi noma aphezulu' kunawo ngokombono wakho, ubudlelwano buzophuma ebhalansini. Kodwa-ke, uma wena no-boo wakho ninesistimu yenani elifanayo, ukuleyo ndawo emnandi lapho kungadingeki ukhathazeke noma uqagele ukuthi bazokuvumela yini ezingeni levelu noma cha.

Yilokhu okwenza abalingani abakhulu, othandweni nokunye. Uma nobabili ningenandaba nokuzulazula emalini ukuze nigweme izintela, noma uma nobabili ningaxosha isisebenzi ngokushesha ngenxa yokusebenzisa ulimi oluhlambalazayo ehhovisi, akunandaba ukuthi amanani enu okwabelwana ngawo ahlukene yini kwabanye noma cha. Kufanele abe ipharamitha eyabelwe nina nobabili.

7. Nika ngamunye isikhala

Ukuzenzela isikhathi sakho, ikhefu elinempilo nsuku zonke noma njalo ngenyanga, kude nomunye kubalulekile ukugcina lolo thando lukhula. Ibanga aligcini nje ngokwenza inhliziyo ikhule ibe mnandi, likuvumela ukuthi uhlanze futhi uhlele kabusha ikhabethe lakho lengqondo ukuze ungabi nayo imizwelo ecindezelwe evelayo futhi ikumangaze ngaphandle kokuluhlaza.

Isikhala asisibi into ebudlelwaneni, iyadingeka ngempela. Uma nifuna uthando lwenu luhlale njalo nikezana isikhala. 

8. Yekani sikhule

Ubuhlobo bothando buphakathi kwabantu ababili, futhi nakuba lokho kubalulekile, akukhona konke lokho umuntu ayikho. Uma ubudlelwano buba yisici esichazayo empilweni yomuntu, buzodla sonke isikhala futhi ekugcineni buqale ukuminya umuntu. Ukuthi ungubani ngaphandle kokuba sothandweni kubaluleke ngokulinganayo, ngakho-ke. Yilokho okukuvumela ukuthi uthande omunye umuntu njengenhlangano ezimele ezimele.

Ukulahlekelwa ubuwena othandweni kungase kuzwakale kunothando lapho u-Arijit Singh eyicula, kodwa empeleni, kulimaza kakhulu kunalokho okusizayo. Uma nifuna ukwenza uthando luhlale njalo kuzomele nisizane nikhule njengabantu ngabanye futhi iyona ndlela kuphela enizophumelela ngayo ndawonye. 

9. Qondani izidingo zomunye nomunye

Isidingo somlingani wakho singaba lula njengenkomishi yekhofi ekuseni eyenziwe nguwe. Bakhonze ngobuso obujabule. Le njabulo oyithola uma wenzela othile into enkulu. 

Isidingo sakho kungaba ukuhlangana neqembu lezigelekeqe kanye ngesonto. Uma eqinisekisa ukuthi ungakwenza futhi akalokothi abe nokungabaza mayelana nokuthi uhamba sekwephuzile kancane futhi uthambile njalo ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku, khona-ke kuwumuzwa omuhle ukwazi ukuthi umlingani wakho wempilo uyaqonda ukuthi yini ekujabulisayo.  

10. Ukusho ukuthi “Ngiyabonga” nokuthi “Ngiyaxolisa” kalula

 Kunabantu abacabanga ukuthi uma kuphakathi kwabantu ababili abathandanayo ukuthi “ngiyabonga” kusemthethweni. Akunjalo Empeleni. Ukubonga kungenza ubudlelwano buhlale impilo yonke. Uma uqala ukuthi “ngiyabonga” uyazi ukuthi la magama amabili anamandla okwenza ubudlelwano benu bube ngcono. 

Ngendlela efanayo ukuxolisa kumlingani wakho kufanele kufike kuwe ngokuzenzekelayo. Akufanele ucabange kabili ngaphambi kokuthi uxolo. 

11. Xolela

Abantu abakwazile ukwenza uthando lwabo luhlale phakade bazokutshela ikhwalithi enkulu yabalingani ababili ikhono nokuzimisela thethelela. 

Abantu benzelwe ukwenza amaphutha kodwa ukubambelela kulawo nokuwaveza kuzo zonke izimpi kuwumqondo omubi. Lokhu kuzolimaza ubudlelwano bakho kuphela. Kungenxa yokuthi abanye abashadile bayakwazi ukuxolelana yakha ukwethembana ngemva kokukopela futhi usinde ebudlelwaneni. 

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12. Ukukhuluma ngesikhathi esedlule

Uzobona okuningi othandweni imibhangqwana ihlale ijabule ukukhuluma ngendaba yabo yothando. Ukuthi bahlangana kanjani, lapho benquma ukushada nayo yonke imininingwane emincane. Babezobuyisa izingane zabo ngisho nabazukulu ngalezi zindaba ezimnandi zothando nobungane. 

Uma ufuna ukwenza ubuhlobo buhlale phakade khuluma ngezinto ezincane ebudlelwaneni bakho ezikwenza uphawule, ezenza uthando luqhakaze ngisho nangemva kweminyaka nishadile. 

13. Ukuqabulana njalo

Lokhu akudingi mzamo kodwa lokhu kuyisenzo sokusondelana esibonisa ukuthi nikhathalelana kangakanani. Ukuqabula isithandwa sakho njengoba uphuma ekhaya nokuqabulana uma niphinda nihlangana ngemva komsebenzi yizinto ezigcina ubudlelwano buqhubeka.

Indlela enhle yokwenza uthando luhlale phakade ebudlelwaneni bakho ukweba ukuqabula uma ubukele ifilimu yothando noma isigcawu. Lokhu akuhlangene neminyaka yakho, kukhombisa nje ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngomunye nomunye. 

14. Yiba namahlaya akho angasese 

Uma bobabili abalingani benamancoko kwenza ubuhlobo buhlale isikhathi eside. Futhi ngamahlaya ayimfihlo, ukudonsa umlenze kanye nobumnandi abanabo bodwa okwenza ubudlelwano bube yimpumelelo.   

Buza noma yimuphi umbhangqwana osenesikhathi eside undawonye, ​​mayelana namahlaya abo angasese, futhi angaqhamuka nesikhwama esigcwele. Futhi ezinye izithandani zinamagama esiteketiso ahlekisayo komunye nomunye alokhu eshintsha nezikhathi kodwa lawa magama amnandi anento ethize kuwo ukwenza ubudlelwano buhlale phakade. 

15. Lungela i-adventure

Uma ukuyo isikhathi eside ubudlelwano buvame ukuba yisicefe. Ngakho-ke, ukuze ugcine i-zing iphila kufanele ube nezigigaba ezithile njalo, ezincane nezinkulu.

Uzwile ngendawo yokudlela entsha ethokomele ngakolunye uhlangothi lwedolobha futhi usulungele ukugibela isitimela nebhasi ukuze ufike kuleyo ndawo. Kuyi-adventure encane yokuthola leyo ndawo nozakwenu omthandayo nje. Manje-ke kuthiwani ngokuzama i-snorkelling ngisho nokutshuza nge-scuba ndawonye eholidini? Noma ungahlela impilo yakho yonke ngalowo hambo lwebhaluni lomoya oshisayo. Kwesinye isikhathi ukukhuluma ngezinto enifuna ukuzenza ndawonye kungenza ubudlelwano benu buphumelele

Wenza kanjani uthando luhlale? Ayikho impendulo enzima nesheshayo kulokho. Kodwa ungenza uthando lwakho luhlale phakade uma ulandela imithetho elula yothando.

Imicabango Final

Ukwakha uthando oluhlala phakade kuwuhambo oluhle olugcwele ulwazi olwabiwe, ukukhula, nokuzinikela okungantengantengi. Ngokubeka phambili ukukhulumisana okuvulekile, ukuhloniphana, ukuthethelelana, nomzamo oqhubekayo, ungakha isibopho esijula ​​ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi simelane nezinselele zokuphila.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.