I-13 Amathiphu Angcono Kakhulu Wokuqomisana NgeNkathi Ephakathi

Lapho usemncane, wawukuhlelele konke ukuphila kwakho. Iminyaka engamashumi amabili bekungowokushaja indlela yomsebenzi ezokubeka endleleni eqinisekile eya empumelelweni. Iminyaka yakho yokuqala yamashumi amathathu kwakufanele uthole lowo mlingani ophelele oyochitha naye zonke izinsuku zakho. Umphakathi usifundise ukuthi yindlela izinto okufanele zihambe ngayo. Kodwa, njengoba impilo izoba nayo, ezikhathini eziningi, izinhlelo ezibekwe kahle zihamba kabi.

Futhi manje ususeminyakeni ephakathi futhi awunamathemba othando. Uyaqala ukubona ikusasa ngeso lengqondo ngaphandle kokuthola uthando lwempilo yakho. Hhayi-ke, ngicela ungakuvumeli lokhu kube njalo kuwe. Ukuqomisana eminyakeni ephakathi sekuya ngokuya kuyinsakavukela. Eqinisweni, uthando aluyona imfihlo yentsha. Ngakho-ke, lungele ukubopha amabhuzu akho futhi wenze i-foay ezweni lokuthandana futhi. Futhi sizokukhombisa ukuthi kanjani ngokwabelana ngamathiphu ayi-13 aphezulu wokuqomisana phakathi kweminyaka yobudala.

Imaphi Amathuba Okuthola Uthando Ngemva Kweminyaka Engama-40?

Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi inani labantu abadala abahlala ngaphandle kwabalingani liyancipha e-US. Eqinisweni, kube nokwehla okukhulu kwephesenti lamadoda nabesifazane abangaphezu kweminyaka engu-65 abahlala bodwa. Inani labantu abadala abahlala ndawonye abangaphezu kweminyaka engu-50 likhuphuke ngo-75% kusukela ngo-2007, kanti inani labantu abaphakathi kweminyaka engu-55 no-64 abasebenzisa izingosi zokuthandana ku-inthanethi liphindwe kabili.

Amathuba okuthola uthando ngemva kweminyaka engu-40 ancike kakhulu kuwe njengomuntu siqu. Uma uzimisele ukuzama, khona-ke uCupid uzokuthola nakanjani. Cabanga ngakho ngale ndlela: Kukhona umuntu laphaya osesimweni esifanayo nawe. Bangase babe neminyaka efanayo nawe, abadala noma abancane, kodwa bahloselwe wena.

Ngakho-ke, isimo sokuthandana kanye nomshado sibukeka kanjani laphaya? Ucwaningo olwenziwe yiPew Research lubonisa ukuqonda okuthakazelisayo. Ingxenye yesine yabantu baseMelika abangaphezu kweminyaka engama-40 abakaze bashade. Lokhu kuvame kakhulu phakathi kwabantu baseMelika abansundu. Amadoda athatha isabelo esikhulu ngo-28%. Isizathu kungaba ukuthi isimiso somshado siyawohloka. Abantu abaningi bakhetha ukuhlala bengashadile. Kodwa ukuhlala kude nomshado akusho ukuthi abafuni uthando. Eqinisweni, ama-22% abantu abadala abangakaze bashade, abaneminyaka engama-40 kuya kwengama-44, babehlala nabalingani bothando.

Umbiko weNyuvesi yaseVirginia ka-2022 National Marriage Project uthole ukuthi iminyaka yomshado emaphakathi ikhule kakhulu phakathi neminyaka engama-50 edlule. Ngawo-1970, iminyaka yokushada emaphakathi kwabesilisa yayineminyaka engama-23. Ngo-2021, ikhuphuke yafinyelela ku-30. Kwabesifazane, yayineminyaka engama-21 ngeminyaka yama-70s futhi yakhuphukela ku-28 ngo-2021.

Uma ubheka osaziwayo abaziwayo, kuzoqinisa iqiniso lokuthi abantu abaneminyaka ephakathi bangathola uthando. Nazi izibonelo:

• Umlingisi waseMelika uGeorge Clooney wayeyindoda eneminyaka ephakathi ngesikhathi eshada no-Amal Alamuddin, ummeli wamalungelo abantu. UGeorge wayeneminyaka engu-53, kuyilapho u-Amal eneminyaka engu-36
• Umlingisikazi u-Amy Adams wayeneminyaka engu-41 lapho eshada nomdwebi uDarren le Gallo
• Umlingisikazi u-Amy Adams wayeneminyaka engu-41 lapho eshada nomdwebi uDarren le Gallo
• Umlingisikazi waseMelika uCameron Diaz wayeneminyaka engu-40 ngesikhathi ebopha ifindo likasofa silahlane noBenji Madden
• Isihlabani seSpecial Victims Unit uMariska Hargitay wayeneminyaka engu-41 ngesikhathi eshada nozakwabo umlingisi uPeter Hermann
• Umculi nomlingisikazi uBarbra Streisand wayeneminyaka engu-56 lapho ethi “Ngiyakwenza” kuJames Brolin

Ukuqomisana nokushada eminyakeni yobudala kuyiqiniso abanye abaye baba nenhlanhla yokubhekana nayo. Asikho isizathu sokungaphishekeli impilo yothando ngenkuthalo ngoba uneminyaka engu-40 noma engu-50. Ngakho-ke, khumbula lokhu okulandelayo njengoba ulungiselela ukuphinda uhlangane nesigcawu sokuqomisana:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezingaziwa Kancane Ezingu-11 Zabesilisa Abaneminyaka Engaphezu Kwengu-50 - 11 Abesifazane Okufanele Bazazi

1. Qala ngokushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo mayelana nokuqomisana kwabaneminyaka ephakathi

Isimo sengqondo somphakathi mayelana nokuqomisana kwabantu abadala sishintshile. Umphakathi awusakunaki njengokuxaka ukuthi othile okuleyo minyaka yobudala akakamtholi umlingani wokuphila. Abantu basebenzela ukuzinza ngaphambi kokugxumela emshadweni noma ebuhlotsheni bothando. Umbiko othokozisayo weHhovisi Lezibalo Zikazwelonke ubonisa ukuthi uma ushade eneminyaka engama-30, uwela esigabeni sabantu abambalwa.

Endabeni yokuphola uneminyaka engu-40, ngemva kwesehlukaniso, noma ngisho naseminyakeni yawo-50, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi iminyaka ayisona isithiyo sokwakha uxhumano olusha noma ukuthola uthando. Yamukela iqiniso onalo njenganoma yiliphi elinye iqembu lobudala ukuze uphishekele ubudlelwano obuletha ukwaneliseka nenjabulo.

2. Hlukanisa ukungaqiniseki kokuthandana phakathi neminyaka yobudala

Noma ubani osesigabeni seminyaka ephakathi uyazi ukuthi kuza nesethi eyingqayizivele yokuhlangenwe nakho kanye nemibono. Ubhekene nokwahlulela komphakathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyiqiniso noma kuyacatshangelwa, mayelana nokuthi kungani ungekho ebudlelwaneni obuzinikele. Ngakho-ke, yamukela izinguquko empilweni yakho bese usondela ekuqomeni ngombono omusha, okhululekile kulokho okulindelwe usemncane. Sicela wazi ukuthi kunezinzuzo eziningi zokuqomisana nowesifazane noma indoda endala.

Eminyakeni engu-40, uyazi ukuthi yini oyifunayo kumlingani. Kusuka ekuzaziseni okuphakeme ongazange ube nakho njengomuntu omncane. Lokho kufanele kube ikhampasi eqondisa ukuxhumana kwakho nabangase ushade nabo. Ukucaca emigomweni yokuqomisana kuzophinde kukwenze ukwazi ukubeka phambili izimfanelo namagugu ahambisana nezifiso zakho.

3. Funda imithetho yokuqomisana yeminyaka ephakathi

Ukuqomisana kweminyaka ephakathi kudinga izindlela ezihlukile kunasebusheni bakho. Njengoba usukhulile, kufanele ucace kulokho okufunayo nongeke ukwamukele. Yiba neqiniso futhi udlulise izinhloso zakho, izidingo, nemingcele. Lokhu kwakha isisekelo sokwethenjwa nenhlonipho.

4. Yamukela amathuba andayo okuthola uthando

Ngaphambili, uma ufuna ukuthola umngane womshado, kwakuzodingeka uphume endlini uyofuna uthando. Ukuhlangana kwethuba esontweni, esitolo esikhulu, noma ngaphandle nasendaweni kungaba isiqalo sendaba yothando.

Kodwa manje, ukufika kwamapulatifomu okuqomisana aku-inthanethi kushintshe ngokuphelele isimo sokuqomisana. Kufana nenkundla yokudlala entsha enenzuzo eyodwa ebalulekile. Ngokwesibonelo, kukhona a khuphuka ku-Instagram dating. Ichibi elilungile lamadoda nabesifazane abangashadile lilungele ukungena ebudlelwaneni. Lezi zinkundla zibhekelela ukuhlukahluka kwamaqembu obudala nezintshisekelo. Ungahlangana nabangashadile abaneminyaka ephakathi ngaphandle kokumema izinkinga eziningi.
Nazi izinsiza ezinhle kakhulu zokuthola umuntu ongathandana naye oseminyakeni ephakathi nendawo:

• Izinhlelo zokusebenza ezinhle kakhulu zokuqomisana ezivuthiwe
• Best ukuphola amasayithi abadala
• Best interracial ukuphola amasayithi
• Amasayithi okuqomisana angcono kakhulu nezinhlelo zokusebenza zochwepheshe

Izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana nezingosi zokuqomisana zabantu abangashadile abaneminyaka ephakathi zinikeza indlela elula yokuxhumana nabangase babe ozakwethu. Ohambweni lwakho lokuthandana uneminyaka engu-45 noma engu-50, hlola izinhlelo zokusebenza ezihlukene namawebhusayithi ukuze uthole lawo ahambisana nokuncamelayo kanye nezifiso zakho.

5. Thatha kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwempilo

Inzuzo yempilo yabantu abadala ukuthi uhambo lwakho phakathi neminyaka lukunikeze inqolobane yolwazi nolwazi. Isibonelo, bekungadingeki ukuthi ube nobudlelwano esikhathini esedlule ukuze wazi ukuthi yini ongeke uyilungise. Ukubheka labo obathandayo ukuze bazulazule ebudlelwaneni kuyisifundo esihle ngokwanele. Ukulalela izindaba zobudlelwano kumele ukuthi kukunike ulwazi oluthe xaxa.

Futhi, ukuhlakanipha kwakho kufanele kusebenze njengesisekelo esiqinile sokwakha ukuxhumana okunenjongo. Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokungena endaweni yokuphola, yamukela okwedlule, okuhlanganisa nezinselele nezifundo. Sebenzisa okwedlule ukuze ukhuthaze ukuqonda okujulile phakathi kwakho nabangase ube ozakwethu.

6. Lawula okulindele kuwe

Sicela uqaphele ukuthi ubudlelwano beminyaka ephakathi bungathatha isikhathi ukuthi buthuthuke futhi bujule. Kungaba kuhle uma kungathatha isonto kuphela, kodwa ngeshwa, akunjalo. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuba nesineke futhi ugweme ukujaha izibopho. Vumela ubudlelwano ukuthi buzenzekele ngokwemvelo, futhi ulawule okulindelekile ngendlela engokoqobo. Ngenxa yokuthi iwashi elicatshangelwayo ekhanda lakho liyahamba, ungamukeli noma ubani obonisa isithakazelo esincane. Ukuwela othandweni eminyakeni engu-40 kufanele kwenzeke ngokwemvelo, ngisho noma kuthatha iminyaka.

7. Cabangela izingane zakho

Uma ungumzali, kubalulekile ukucabangela ukuthi impilo yakho yokuthandana ingabathinta kanjani abantwana bakho. Khumbula, umlingani wakho uzofuna isikhathi sakho kanye nokunakwa kwakho. Kubalulekile futhi ukubazisa ngobumnene ezinganeni ngemva kwesikhathi esifanele. Kungumqondo omubi ukushesha le ngxenye ngoba ingaphenduka. Ngakho-ke, kufanele ulinde isikhathi esingakanani ukuze wethule umlingani wakho ezinganeni ? Kunezici eziningana ezihilela ukwenza isinqumo, njenge:

• Iminyaka yezingane
• Ukulungela kwengane ukuthi uphole
• Okucatshangwa omunye umzali
• Isikhathi eside esingaba khona ebudlelwaneni
• Ukuthi uzakwenu wamanje ukulungele yini ukuhlangana nezingane

Inhlalakahle yezingane idinga ukuba ize kuqala. Futhi, izingxoxo ezihambisana neminyaka yobudala zingabasiza baqonde futhi babhekane noshintsho empilweni yakho. Sicela ungabaphoqi ukuthi bamukele izinguquko ngoba lokho kungadala ukucasuka kudale ukungezwani phakathi kwakho nabo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izinhlelo Zokusebenza Eziyi-15 Ezinhle Kakhulu Zokuthandana Nomzali Ongayedwa

8. Zulazula izinselele zokuthandana

Yazi ukuthi akuwona wonke ukuhlangana esigcawini sokuqomisana kuzoguqukela ekuzibophezeleni kwesikhathi eside, futhi lokho kwamukelekile ngokuphelele. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungabeki umugqa wesikhathi wokuqomisana eminyakeni engu-40, ngoba kungaholela ekuphoxekeni. Kunalokho, bheka konke ukuxhumana njengethuba lokukhula komuntu siqu kanye nokuqonda okujulile kwezifiso zakho.

9. Beka kuqala ukuxhumana

Uyafuna ukwazi imfihlo yobudlelwano obuphumelelayo? Konke kuncike ekukhulumisaneni okuvulekile nokwethembekile. Ukuhlanganyela ezingxoxweni ezisobala mayelana nokulindela, imigomo yobudlelwano, kanye nezinto ezikukhathazayo ekuqaleni kuqinisekisa ukuvumelana phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho ongaba khona. Funda izindlela ezisebenzayo zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni . Isibonelo, ukulalela ngenkuthalo kungaveza izinto mayelana nomlingani wakho ongaba khona. Ngaphandle kwalokho, kuyindlela ephelele yokukhulisa ukuqonda, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo, nokuningi.

10. Ungakunaki ukuxhumana kokuqala

Usuku lokuqala nomuntu ongaba umlingani wakho kufanele lukunikeze lonke ulwazi oludingekayo. Funda ukuthi ungakhuluma ngani ngosuku lokuqala . Uma kubonakala sengathi abanalo uhlelo noma abakuqondi kahle ukuthi bafunani, gijima. Ngokweqiniso, usumdala kakhulu (yebo, kulungile ukuvuma iminyaka yakho lapha) ukuthi ungakha/ubumbe omunye umuntu. Futhi, uma izingxoxo zabo zingajwayelekile noma zizwakala zingalungile, lokho kuyisibonakaliso esibomvu. Banga, isibonelo:-

• Gxila kakhulu ocansini
• Namathisela ebudlelwaneni babo bangaphambilini
• Khuluma kabi ngabadala babo
  Konke kuncike ekucaceni, ukuba ngamabomu, nokwazi okufunayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izinhlelo Zokusebenza Eziyi-15 Ezinhle Kakhulu Zokuthandana Nomzali Ongayedwa

11. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa

• Iqiniso lokuthandana kuka-45 liwukuthi abantu bashaya indawo yokuphola ngezizathu ezahlukene. Kungaba:
• Injabulo elula yokuhlangana nabantu abasha
• Ukwengeza amagama nezinombolo encwadini yabo encane emnyama
• Ukuzibandakanya ezindabeni zangaphandle komshado
• Ukuzijabulisa ngaphandle kokunamathiselwe

Ngakho-ke, kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokuphola uma uneminyaka engu-40 ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Iphuzu liwukuthi omunye umuntu kungenzeka ukuthi ufuna into ehluke kakhulu kulokho oyikho. Indlela ofuna ngayo uthando kufanele ihambisane nendlela abalubheka ngayo. Siyakugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuxhumana okucacile futhi singakushayi indiva ukusebenzelana kokuqala.

12. Vulekele okuhlangenwe nakho okusha

Amathuba okuthola uthando ku-45 noma 50 futhi uphole ngeminyaka ephakathi maningi. Kodwa kufanele ukhuthale endleleni owenza ngayo. Isikhathi sokuvuleleka ukuze uthole imisebenzi emisha nezithakazelo. Lokhu kuzokwandisa umbuthano wakho wokuxhumana nabantu, ngaleyo ndlela kuthuthukise amathuba okuhlangana nabantu ababelana ngezinto ozithandayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngaphandle kokucebisa impilo yakho, ungakha izinto ozithandayo ezisebenza njengesisekelo sokwakha ukuxhumana okuqinile nokuhlala njalo.

Okuhlangenwe nakho okusha kusho nokuya ezinhlanganweni eziningi ukuze ubone ukuthi yini ekhona. Kodwa kunemithetho yokuthandana nabantu abaningi ngesikhathi esisodwa . futhi lokho kuhlanganisa ukwethembeka, inhlonipho nokuhlala uyimfihlo.

Okokugcina, ungahluleli ongase ube umlingani wakho ngokusebenzisana kwakho kokuqala. Abaningi baye bakubona ngokushesha ukubaluleka kokuthatha isikhathi. Izwe lokuthandana liwuhambo olumangalisayo oluzokugcwalisa ngokumangala. Ngakho-ke, qoqa isibindi futhi uhlole.

13. Thola usizo olufanele kochwepheshe

Ungangeni ebuhlotsheni obusha ngenkathi uphethe imithwalo yemizwa evela ebudlelwaneni bangaphambilini. Isibonelo, umlingani wakho wangaphambili kungenzeka ukuthi ukulimaze kakhulu ukuzethemba kwakho noma ukugcwalise ngemizwa yokungazethembi. Ungase ulethe izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe zesikhathi sakho esedlule ebudlelwaneni bamanje. Ngakho-ke, cabanga ngokufuna isiqondiso kubelaphi noma ochwepheshe bobudlelwano. Ubuchwepheshe babo bunganikeza amasu aklanyelwe ukuzulazula ezinkingeni zokuyeka okwedlule. Bazokuqondisa futhi ekupholeni ngempumelelo njengomuntu osekhulile.

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Uhambo lokujola lweminyaka ephakathi luyithuba lokwamukela ukuthi ungubani futhi uthole ukuxhumana okuhambisana nesigaba sakho samanje sempilo. Ubudlelwano phakathi kweminyaka engu-40 no-50 kufanele bujabulise futhi bujabulise. Sondela endaweni yokuphola ngenhliziyo evulekile, umqondo omuhle, kanye nokuzimisela ukwamukela amathuba oza kuwe. Ungalindeli ukuthandana ngobusuku obubodwa, futhi uzivumele isikhala ukuze ujabulele isikhathi nenqubo. Sekwanele manje, phuma uye lapho uvumele uCupid enze umsebenzi wakhe.

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