“Ngidinga Ukunakwa Kumyeni Wami” - Uchwepheshe Wamtshela Okufanele Akwenze

U-Ria, intokazi ekhangayo eneminyaka engu-38 ubudala yangishayela ucingo ekuseni ehlobo elikhanyayo, icela isikhathi. “Ngizizwa ngingajabule, ngingenalusizo, ngicindezelekile futhi ngokuvamile ngicasulwa ukuphila. Konke kuhle ekuphileni kwami. Akukho lutho olungalungile. Nginomkhaya omuhle, izingane ezimbili ezifunda esikoleni esiphakathi nomyeni ohlakaniphile nophumelelayo onginikeza konke ukunethezeka. Kodwa umyeni wami akanginaki. Ngidinga ukunakwa umyeni wami.”

“Ngizizwa sengathi sihlala ndawonye,” kusho yena

“Umyeni wami uhamba kakhulu ngenxa yomsebenzi futhi ngizizwa ngingakutholi ukunakwa engikufuna kuye, ngiyazama ukukhuluma naye ngimcele ukuthi achithe isikhathi esiningi nami kodwa uvele ayishaye indiva, sengikhathele ukuncenga umyeni wami.

Kulezi zinsuku ngisho noma ekhona, okubonakala sengathi sikwenza nje ukuphikisana noma ukuwela ekuthuleni okukhulu . Kunezikhathi lapho ngizizwa sengathi singabantu abahlala ndawonye noma izivakashi ehhotela, ngamunye egxile ekuphileni kwakhe. Umyeni wami akanginaki futhi ngizizwa sengathi angikho. Umyeni wami uyangidebeselela ngokomzwelo futhi akafuni ukwenza lutho nami.”

Wayematasa ngempilo yakhe

Umenza kanjani umyeni wakho akuqaphele? Yilokhu okwakusengqondweni yakhe ngacabanga. “Ngidinga ukunakwa ngumyeni wami kodwa akukhona ukuthi ngincike kuyena ngakho konke, anginazibopho.

“Nginohlelo oluphelele lwansuku zonke. Ngiya ejimini, nginomzimba opholile futhi ngiyingxenye yekomiti leqembu lami futhi ngivame ukuhlangana nabangane bami ukuze ngiphuze ikhofi nezinto zokuzijabulisa. Nokho, angazi ukuthi yini engalungile ngami.

“Ngizizwa ngikhathele, nginesizungu, nginesithukuthezi futhi ngididekile izinsuku eziningi.Bengicabanga ukuthi mhlawumbe ama-hormone kodwa ukubonana nodokotela wami nokuhlolwa kulungile.

Umngane wami wangicebisa ukuthi ngifune ukwelulekwa. Mhlawumbe lokhu kungasiza ekuxazululeni isifo sami, ngakho ngakushayela ucingo.” Salungisa iseshini futhi sahlangana njalo emasontweni ambalwa alandelayo ukuze sinciphise izimpawu zakhe futhi sithole indlela yokuphuma ekungakhululekeni kwakhe kwengqondo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Umyeni Wakho Uke Wahlola Ngokwemizwa?

Wayezidalela usizi

Njengoba ngizwa u-Ria ezimisweni ezimbalwa ezilandelayo engayibuka, ngalalela futhi ngaphetha ngokuthi kwakunezizathu ezimbalwa eziyisisekelo zokungajabuli kwakhe. Enye yazo ukuthi wayekholelwa ukuthi uphatheke kabi ngenxa yokunganakwa kukazakwabo. “Ngidinga ukunakwa ngumyeni wami,” kwasho amazwi akhe.

Ngaphambi kwezikhathi zakhe zokwelapha, konke ayegxile ekuziphatheni nasezenzweni zomlingani wakhe ngaphandle kokuthatha isikhathi sokucabanga ukuthi ube nesandla kanjani osizini lwakhe.

Wayefisa ukunakwa umyeni wakhe kuphela kodwa wayengazi ukuthi kungani ezizwa ngalendlela.

Wayenezinkinga zokuzethemba'

Waqaphela ukuthi eminyakeni edlule, wayeka ukuzibandakanya emsebenzini onenjongo futhi wayevame ukungenzi lutho ngentuthuko yakhe yengqondo nengokomoya, okwakuzomsiza ekwakheni ubudlelwano obungokwengqondo nomyeni wakhe.

Ngakho-ke, waqala ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kuye, kancane kancane futhi kancane kancane. Futhi, ukungazimele ngokwezimali kwaholela ekwesabeni okuthile nasekuzicasukeleni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Indlela Yokuzimela Ngokwezimali Njengowesifazane Oshadile

Izizathu ezibe nomthelela ekungajabulini kwakhe

Ezinye zezinto ebezimvimba ukuthi ajabule wukungazethembi, ukungakwazi ukuxhumana, ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ubudlelwano kanye nokungabi nayo injongo empilweni.

Uhlelo lokwelapha u-Ria lwaluhlanganisa ukufunda ukugxila emandleni akhe, ukwenza umsebenzi okhiqizayo kanye nokuthola umqondo wencazelo nokufunda indlela yokuxhumana ngempumelelo nomlingani wakhe. Ngesinye isikhathi, waqala ukukhululeka esikhumbeni sakhe, izimpawu zakhe zanyamalala.

Wayeka ukukhuluma athi: Ngidinga ukunakwa ngumyeni wami. Wayeka ukunginaka. Umyeni wami akanginaki. Umyeni wami akanginaki ngokomzwelo. Umyeni wami akazinaki izingcingo zami kanye nemiyalezo yami. Umyeni wami akafuni ukwenza lutho nami.

Lesi kwakuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokufinyelela isimo sengqondo esihle ngoba waqala ukusebenza yedwa esikhundleni sokugxilisa ukunaka kwakhe kumyeni.

Umyeni wakhe wasabela ngokwengeziwe

Njengoba ukuziphatha kwakhe nokuxhumana kwakhe kushintsha, umyeni wakhe wasabela kakhudlwana kuye futhi wavuma ukufuna usizo nakwezinye zezinkinga ezaziholele ekungeneni kwebanga ebudlelwaneni. Ukwelulekwa kwabashadile kwasiza ekuqiniseni kabusha isibopho.

Icala lika-Ria alihlukanisiwe. Izinkinga zobudlelwane, ukuntula isithakazelo ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, isizungu, ukucasuka nokungabi nankinga kuhlupha abantu abaningi namuhla.

Lokhu kwenzeka ngoba abantu bavame ukubheka yonke injabulo yabo kubalingani babo. Akwenzeki ukuthi uphathina wakhe abanike ukunakwa okungu-100% ngaso sonke isikhathi ngoba bangase babe matasa nomsebenzi, bona babe nengcindezi. Uma inkosikazi ihlale ibheka ukubaluleka kumyeni ingase igcine iphatheke kabi njengoba kwenza uRia.

Uma uhlala uthi, “Umyeni wami uyeke ukunginaka,” khona-ke ubeka ingcindezi enkulu kumuntu ohluphekayo. Ugcina usungumfazi ohlala ekhala emtshela ukuthi akakunaki.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokubhekana Nokuzizwa Unesizungu Emshadweni

Ukuntula ulwazi ngokubaluleka kokubhekana nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ngesikhathi kwandisa inkinga. Ngokuvamile, ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezengqondo oqeqeshiwe kuvuna izinzuzo ezinkulu futhi kubangela umuzwa wokwaneliseka nenjabulo kubantu abaningi.

U-Ria akasasho ukuthi, “Ngidinga ukunakwa ngumyeni wami” futhi umyeni wakhe useye waqonda nokuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukushukuma komzimba nokubonisa uthando ukuze kwakhiwe ubuhlobo obuqinile.

Kuyangijabulisa ukubabona bejabule. Ngezinye izikhathi ukugudluzwa kancane endleleni efanele yikho konke okudingayo ukuze ulethe izwe loshintsho ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ngiyajabula ukuthi uRia weza kimi futhi ngingakwazi ukuletha ushintsho oluhle empilweni yakhe.

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