Ingabe Umyeni Wakho Uke Wahlola Ngokomzwelo? Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zokuhluleka Komshado

Umshado uwumsebenzi oqhubekayo. Kudingeka ukuzikhandla okukhulu kanye nomzamo oqhubekayo ukuze kugcinwe lesi sibopho sothando phakathi neziyaluyalu eziningi ohambweni lwempilo. Ngaphambi kokuba uqaphele, izimpawu zokuwohloka komshado ziqala ukubonakala futhi zisakazeke njengomhlwa, zenze ubuhlobo benu bube yizinxushunxushu ngaphakathi.

Izingcindezi zansuku zonke zomsebenzi, izimfuno zezimali, ukukhulisa izingane, kanye nokuhambisana nezibopho zomphakathi kungase kuthinte uthando olukhulayo enake waluzwa ngomunye nomunye. Kancane kancane ningase niqhelelene, ningaqapheli nokuthi ibanga lingene nini. Lokhu kungase kuholele ekuboneni ukuthi “umyeni wami uye wahlola ngokomzwelo ephuma emshadweni”. Lapho ekugcineni ubona izimpawu zokuqala zomshado ongaphumeleli, kungase kubonakale kungavamile. Kodwa uma ubheka emuva ubheka emuva, uzobona ukuthi izenzo ezincane zokunganakwa kwansuku zonke ziyizimpawu umyeni wakho azihlole emshadweni.

Wonke umbhangqwana uhlangabezana nezimo ezingezinhle emshadweni wawo. Kuyinto evamile futhi yemvelo. Nokho, kunomehluko phakathi kwezigaba zezinkinga ezidlulayo epharadesi nokuhlanganyela ukuphila kwakho nomngane womshado oye waphuma emshadweni. Lesi sakamuva siwuphawu lwezimpawu zokuwohloka komshado. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu kusenesikhathi futhi nisebenze njengeqembu ukuze nakhe kabusha ubuhlobo benu uma nifisa ukuba umshado wenu uphile.

Izimpawu Umshado Usenkingeni

Niyabonana nobabili nsuku zonke. Uyakuqinisekisa ukuthi konke kuhamba kahle kodwa umuzwa wakho wamathumbu ukutshela ukuthi ususondele ezinkingeni zomshado. Kuhlale kucwila ukuthi kukhona okushaya amanzi - akenzi imizamo eqotho yokwenza ubudlelwano busebenze futhi akekho kini ozizwa ejabule emshadweni. Ibanga seliqala ukwanda, ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo. Ungabona izimpawu zomshado ohlala naye ezichaza ubudlelwano bakho nomyeni wakho.

Lokhu ngokungangabazeki kuyimbangela yokukhathazeka. Leli banga elingokomzwelo, ukuntuleka kokuxhumana, ukuntuleka kokunakekelwa kanye nokukhathazeka onakho konke kuyizimpawu ezicacile zokufadalala komshado. Futhi lezi zimpawu kufanele zikunyakazise ebuthongweni bakho bokulondeka futhi zikusunduzele ukuthi uthathe izinyathelo zokulungisa ukuze uhlenge impilo yakho yomshado. Nazi izimpawu ezicacile ukuthi umshado wakho usenkingeni ukukusiza ukuthi uthathe isinyathelo ngaphambi kokwephuza kakhulu: 

• Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana: Yebo, nikhuluma ngezimali nangezingane, nibonisana ngokuthi ubani owenza imisebenzi ethile futhi angase asebenze njengomshini ogcotshwe kahle uma kuziwa ekuphatheni ikhaya lakho, kodwa ukukhulumisana kwangempela kuphelile ebudlelwaneni benu. Uma wena nomyeni wakho ningasahlolani cela ilungelo imibuzo engakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo noma ukwenze uqine nakakhulu futhi ungahambisani nendlela omunye azizwa ngayo, kungase kube uphawu lokuqala lokufadalala komshado.
• Ukulwa kakhulu: Wena nomyeni wakho nihlale nilwa. Ngisho nokungavumelani okuncane kakhulu kube yizimpikiswano eziqhumayo, kulandelwa izinsuku zokugencwa ngamatshe futhi omunye wenu athule omunye. Uma ubanjwa umjikelezo wokuba nezimpi ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe futhi lezi zingxabano ziba zimbi kakhulu njalo, kusobala ukuthi usemshadweni ongajabulisi ongaphumeleli.
• Ukungajabuli: Emshadweni ongajabulisi kodwa awukwazi ukuhamba - uma lo muzwa uchaza kahle ukuthi uwubheka kanjani umshado wakho, noma umyeni wakho awubheka, khona-ke umbhalo ubonakala kakhulu odongeni. Lapho ubudlelwano obubaluleke kakhulu empilweni yakho buba umthombo ongapheli wokungajabuli, ngokusobala kukhona okumele ukunike.
• Alukho uxhumano: Esinye sezibonakaliso ezitshela kakhulu umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. Uma kungekho makhemikhali angokomzimba phakathi kwakho nomyeni wakho futhi uzizwa uvumelana kakhulu ngokomzwelo nomuntu othumela iposi kunomlingani wakho wempilo, ungasho ngezinga elifanele lokuqiniseka ukuthi umshado wakho umi emilenzeni yawo yokugcina.
• Ezothando ziyafa: Awukhumbuli ukuthi ugcine nini ukwenza noma yini efana nezithandani. Ubusuku bezinsuku, ukudlala ngothando, uthando sekuyizinto zesikhathi esidlule ozikhumbula ngothando nangokuzilangazelela. Uma wabelana ngempilo nowakwakho ngaphandle kokuzwa noma yikuphi ukuxhumana naye kwezothando, khona-ke izimpawu zomshado ohlala naye zibhalwe kulo lonke ubudlelwano bakho obuguqukayo.
• Asikho isikhathi sekhwalithi: Nigcine nini ukuhlala ndawonye nixoxa nganoma yini nangayo yonke into ngaphansi kwelanga? Ugcine nini ukuhlanganyela ingilazi yewayini noma amabili futhi uthululela inhliziyo yakho komunye nomunye? Noma nagcina nini ukukhulumisana njengabalingani bothando, hhayi njengabazali noma abalingani bokuphila abanemithwalo yemfanelo nezibopho okufanele nizifeze? Uma ungabonakali ukhumbula, lokho kufanele kube ifulegi elibomvu eliqine ngokwanele ukukutshela ukuthi konke akulungile empilweni yakho yomshado.
• Izimfihlo: Uqala ukugcina izimfihlo emshadweni wakho. Ukusuka emangeni amhlophe ukuze ugweme ukungqubuzana nokungabelani ngezinto ezibalulekile kuwe ngoba unomuzwa wokuthi oshade naye ngeke aqonde noma kunjalo, izimfihlo zivame ukuqala kancane kodwa zingase zibe uchungechunge oluyinkimbinkimbi lwamanga angadla umshado wakho.

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Kusho Ukuthini Ukuzihlola Ngokomzwelo Emshadweni?

Noma ubani oke wahamba endleleni yomshado uzofakazela iqiniso lokuthi izinkinga ziyingxenye ebalulekile yohambo. Kodwa uma umyeni ehlola umshado ngokomzwelo, khona-ke umthwalo wokwenza ubuhlobo busebenze ngokuvamile uwela kumlingani oyedwa. Ukuze uqonde ukuthi kunjalo yini emshadweni wakho, okokuqala kudingeka uqonde ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuhlola ngokomzwelo.

Lapho umbhangqwana ubhekene nezinkinga zomshado, ibanga elingokomzwelo liyangena phakathi kwabo, futhi leli banga lilokhu landa kancane kancane, nsuku zonke, kangangokuthi ubuhlobo buba umzabalazo omuncu kubo bobabili abantu abahilelekile. Lokhu kuphinde kuholele ekwandeni kwegebe lokuxhumana phakathi kombhangqwana, njengoba bobabili abalingani baphila nalokhu kuqaphela okukhathazayo kokuthi izidingo zabo azihlangatshezwa, izifiso zabo aziqondwa, futhi lokho abakulindele akufezeki. Lokhu kuqaphela kungaholela ekubonakalisweni kwezimpawu umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni.

Isizungu kanye nokungabi nalutho kusunduza umshado obhekene nobunzima uye esiphelweni esimangalisayo. Lokhu ngokungangabazeki kungenye yezindlela ezihlukile ezihlukanisa umbhangqwana ojabulayo nongajabule. Ngaphambi kokuba wenze imizamo yokulungisa inkambo, udinga ukuqaphela ngokugcwele izimpawu umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni ngokomzwelo.

Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zokuhluleka Komshado

Isimo "somshado ongajabuli kodwa ongenakukwazi ukuhamba" sivame kakhulu. Futhi akubona abesifazane kuphela abakhetha ukuhlala emshadweni ongajabuli ngenxa yezingane , ngenxa yezingcindezi zomphakathi, noma ngoba nje ukubhidliza umshado kubonakala kuyesabeka kakhulu futhi kukhungathekisa. Amadoda nawo angaqhubeka nokuhlala emishadweni nasebudlelwaneni ngisho noma izinhliziyo zawo zingasekho kuwo, ngezizathu ezifanayo.

Uma lokho kwenzeka, uzothola ukuthi “umyeni wami uphumile emshadweni kodwa usenami” uzizwa ekhungathekile, kancane kancane kodwa ngokuqinisekile. Lokho ngokuqinisekile kungakuphazamisa kakhulu futhi kungakushiya uzama ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi mhlawumbe nokubuvuselela. Uma lo muzwa wokuqhelelana nokunganeliseki usondela kakhulu kuwe, kungase kube yisikhathi sokubeka ubudlelwano bakho ngaphansi kwelensi bese ubheka lezi zimpawu ezingu-12 zomshado ohlulekayo:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Umshado Wami Uyaphela – Uchwepheshe Uphakamisa Izindlela Eziyi-13 Zokuguqula Isimo

1. Usekugxeka kakhulu

Emshadweni, bobabili abashadile akulindelekile ukuba bangagcini ngokumamukela ngokuphelele abalingani babo kodwa futhi babahloniphe ngalokho abayikho futhi babe nesandla esivulekile kubo. Yiqiniso, ukugxeka okuthile okunempilo noma ukungezwani okuqotho kuyingxenye yephasela, kodwa lokhu kuhluke ngokuphawulekayo ekugxekweni okungenampilo futhi kuwuphawu lomshado wakho usenkingeni.

Uma umyeni wakho ekugxeka kakhulu futhi ebangelwa izinto ezincane ezingakaze zimkhathaze ngaphambili, khona-ke kukhona okungalungile ngokuqinisekile. Kusukela ekudleni okulungiselelayo kuye endleleni ogqoka ngayo kanye nomsebenzi owuphishekelayo, uma kungekho lutho ngawe olubonakala lukufanelekela ukudunyiswa nguye, kungenye yezimpawu zokuqala zomshado ongaphumeleli.

Isizathu esiyinhloko kungaba ukuthi umyeni wakho usephumile emshadweni ngokomzwelo. Uma lokho kwenzeka, ungathola ukuthi umyeni wakho ukuvimbe ngokuphelele empilweni yakhe. Eqinisweni, ukuqaphela ukuthi “umyeni wami usephumile emshadweni ngokomzwelo” kukuthinta kakhulu lapho uqaphela ukuthi awusazi lutho ngempilo yomyeni wakho.

2. Uma ecobelela abanye izinto hhayi wena, kuwuphawu ukuthi umshado wakho usenkingeni

Njengomfazi, ulindele ukuthi umyeni wakho akutshele ngamaphupho akhe, amathemba, izinto ezimkhathazayo kanye nezifiso zakhe. Kufanele wazi ngemicabango yakhe eyimfihlo futhi ube umuntu wokuqala ukwazi nganoma yiziphi izinguquko ezinkulu empilweni yakhe. Kungaba ukukhushulwa okukhulu noma ukucindezeleka emsebenzini, ukuthatha kwakhe umzali, noma izinhlelo zakhe zakhe nomndeni wakho, kufanele kube nguwe ojikayo ukuze akhulume ngazo zonke izinto ezinkulu nezincane.

Kodwa-ke, uma uthola umyeni wakho ehlanganyela imizwa yakhe nabanye abantu, khona-ke kuyinto okufanele uyicabangele. Kungaba uphawu lokuqala lomshado ophukile. Lapho umngane wami omkhulu ehlukana, wayevame ukusho ukuthi umyeni wakhe wayeka kanjani ukwabelana naye ngezinto.

Ngolunye usuku olungokomzwelo ikakhulukazi, wake wathi, “Ngangiwumngane wakhe omkhulu. Lokho kwaba isisekelo somshado wethu. Kodwa ngokuhamba kweminyaka, wakhohlwa lokho futhi ngazizwa sengathi ngishade nomuntu engingamazi. Ngesinye isikhathi, wayehlela ukushiya umsebenzi wakhe futhi aqale ibhizinisi. Akuyona yini into okufanele inkosikazi iyazi leyo? Nokho, ngathola ngakho lapho umkamfowabo engazange angitshele ukuthi kwakuwumshado wethu kuqala. phezu.”

3. Uyacasuka uma ungahambisani nezifiso zakhe

Kunesigameko esisodwa engingeke ngisikhohlwe. Owayesebenza naye wake wahlela umbuthano wabantu abavela emahhovisi akhe nomyeni wakhe. Umyeni wayemcele ukuthi akhiphe isethi ethile yezingilazi ze-whisky kodwa wayebeke i-Borosil glassware evamile.

Lokhu kwenze le ndoda yaphenduka intukuthelo yaze yashayisa ithileyi, kwasala ingilazi ephihliziwe. Wabe esephuma ngesankahlu, kodwa engakamtsheli umkakhe ukuthi wayengasizi lutho. Lokhu kuphambi kwezivakashi emzini wakhe. Ukudicilela phansi, ukuthukana nokungahloniphi konke kuyizimpawu umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni kodwa ukhetha ukuqhubeka ngoba, ngasizathu simbe, isehlukaniso asibonakali njengenketho esebenzayo kuye, okwamanje.

Uma umyeni wakho ekwenza uzizwe sengathi awufezi isabelo sakho semithwalo yemfanelo, kuwuphawu lomshado ohlulekayo. Uzoyeka ukuthembela kuwe abe ngumuntu ongenangqondo futhi ocasuka kakhulu esimweni sakhe sengqondo. Ekugcineni, umlingani onjalo oqhelelene ngokomzwelo angaholela ekuwohlokeni kobudlelwano.

4. Ukungabekezelelani kuwuphawu lomshado onezinkinga.

Awukho umbhangqwana emhlabeni ongenazo izinkinga zomshado. Abantu bayaqaphela futhi banqobe izinkinga zabo ngokubekezela. Kodwa uphawu olucacile umshado wakho uyahluleka yilapho ukungabekezelelani okwedlulele kungena ebuhlotsheni. Noma yini nakho konke okwenzayo kubonakala kumkhuphulela odongeni.

Ngisho nezinto ayezithola zinhle ngawe manje zibonakala zimcasula kakhulu. Uma ekushaya indiva konke okushoyo, ejika amehlo akhe kuwe noma emane ekuphambanisa , kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi uzibona esesimweni "esingajabuli emshadweni kodwa engakwazi ukuphuma".

Lo mbuzo esiwuthole kowesifazane ocindezelekile osebenza nomyeni oqhele kakhulu ngokomzwelo uchaza ukuthi ukuziphatha okungabekezeleli kubukeka kanjani. Uthi: “Umyeni wami ucosha izinto ezincane futhi azishaye ngendlela engalingani, umshado wethu usufinyelele esigabeni lapho singasakhulumi lutho ngaphandle kokuxabana, lokhu kwaholela ekucindezelekeni okukhulu kimina. Lokhu kungabekezelelani kungaba esinye sezimpawu zokuqala ezikhathazayo zokufadalala komshado.

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5. Ukungadlali kuwuphawu lokufadalala komshado

Sezidlulile izinsuku lapho nobabili nihleka ndawonye, ​​nihlekisana, nihlekisana, futhi nijabulela ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye . Lezi zikhathi zokudlala kanye nenjabulo ezaphawula ukuqala kobudlelwano benu seziyinto yesikhathi esidlule. Ukunyamalala kancane kancane kokuhlekana okunobungane kuyisibonakaliso sokuqala sezinkinga zomshado.

Uyazi ukuthi umshado wakho usuzophela lapho nangemuva kwemizamo ephikelelayo yokufinyelela nokuvuselela leyo khemistri eyake yaba umthombo wenjabulo ebuhlotsheni bakho, uhlangabezana nokuhlaselwa ngamatshe okunonya. Kucace bha ukuthi umyeni wakho akasayitholi injabulo yakhe kuwe, yingakho ehlala ekude nawe ngokomzwelo.

6. Uyehluleka ukukubheka

Phambilini, ubejwayele ukukufonela noma ukuthumele imiyalezo ukuze azi ukuthi uzimisele ngani. Kodwa manje, kungase kubonakale sengathi akakwazi ukuzihlupha kancane ngokuthi ufile noma uyaphila. Khohlwa ukufona noma ukuthumela umlayezo, akakwazi nokukubuza ukuthi kwenzenjani uma ekubona ukhala phambi kwakhe.

Uma kube khona ukwehla okukhulu nokungaguquguquki kwezenzo ezinjalo kusukela ekupheleni kwakhe, kuwuphawu lokuthi umshado wakho uyafadalala futhi umyeni wakho uye wahlola ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni. Ngokungangabazeki, lokhu kungakushiya ugula ngokukhathazeka ngomcabango othi “umyeni wami uye wahlola ngokomzwelo emshadweni”.

Kodwa-ke, ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kusukela ekupheleni kwakhe kungase futhi kulethwe ukukhathazeka kwakhe ngomsebenzi noma ezinye izinto ezicindezelayo ekuphileni kwakhe. Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokuba ugxumele esiphethweni sokuthi ukuziphatha komyeni wakho kukhomba izimpawu zokuwohloka komshado, thatha isikhashana uhlaziye ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha sekuyinto evamile yini entsha ebuhlotsheni benu noma kuyisigaba esidlulayo. Okwangaphambili kuyifulegi elibomvu okungafanele uzibe.

7. Ukungakhululeki ukuya ocansini kuwuphawu lokuthi umshado wakho uyafadalala

Ukuvama kokuhlangana kwakho ngokocansi kwehlile. Ngisho noma nizitika, akubonakali njengesenzo sothando sokusondelana kodwa kunalokho ukuhlangana okuphoqelelwe, okungekuhle enibambe iqhaza kukho nobabili ngoba yilokho okufanele kwenziwe abashadile.

Uma umyeni wakho eke wabheka izindlela zokuthola isenzo esithile phakathi kwamashidi kodwa manje egwema ukusondelana nawe ngokomzimba, kungenxa yokuthi usuke engekho ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Lapho umshado ufinyelela kuleli zinga lebanga futhi unqanyuliwe, ngokuvamile kuba ukukhalela usizo. Kufanele ucabangele ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe ngendlela yokwelapha imibhangqwana ukuze uthole umsuka wenkinga.

Uma ucabanga ngemiphumela yomshado ongenabo ucansi endodeni , le ndlela yokunciphisa ukusondelana ingaqala ukubonakala ikhathaza kakhulu. Uma ningabambisani kaningi, kulapho ezwa khona intukuthelo, ukucasuka kanye nokucindezeleka. Lapho enqotshwa kakhulu yile mizwa emibi, kulapho ingakuhlukanisa khona. Lokhu kungaba yindilinga embi ezondla yona, okwenza izimpawu umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni ziqine ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

8. Usezicabangela yena yedwa

Omunye umzala wami wake wafika endlini yami ngo-12 ebusuku. Wayephethe umthwalo ezandleni zakhe izinyembezi zigcwele amehlo. Ngamhlalisa phansi ngambuza ukuthi kwenzekeni. Wathi, "Ngangiphume ngohambo lwebhizinisi futhi indiza yami yayifika ebusuku kakhulu. Ngashayela umyeni wami ucingo ngabuza ukuthi angangilanda yini esikhumulweni sezindiza. Impendulo yakhe yayiwukuthi kungani ezomoshela ubuthongo bakhe phezu kwami? Ngamtshela ukuthi ngizizwa ngingakhululekile ukugibela itekisi ngalelihora futhi konke akushilo ukuthi naye uzizwa engakhululekile ukushayela yonke indlela." 

Ephatheke kabi futhi edangele, weza endlini yami njengoba ngangihlala eduze nesikhumulo sezindiza. Uma ngabe ukugxila kwakhe sekusukile kokuthi 'thina' kuya kokuthi 'mina', kuwuphawu lokuthi usemshadweni onezinkinga. Esikhundleni sokucabanga ngani nina nobabili, imicabango nezenzo zakhe ziya ngokuya zizenzela umathanda. Ukuphishekela injabulo nokuthula kwengqondo sekuyinto eza kuqala, futhi ngokudabukisayo, akatholi lutho emshadweni.

Ngakho-ke, ngeke achithe izimpelasonto zakhe nawe kodwa uzokwenza izinhlelo nabangani bakhe noma ozakwabo. Lolu hlobo lwesimo sengqondo sokuzicabangela luwuphawu lokunganakwa ngokomzwelo nokungaxhumani ebudlelwaneni futhi luwuphawu lokuwohloka komshado.

9. Ubalekela umthwalo wemfanelo

Ukuphumelela kwanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo kuncike kakhulu ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadile ababili. Ngaphandle kwalapho bobabili ozakwethu besebenza njengezingxenye ezimbili zebhalansi yensimbi esebenza ngokuzwana okuphelele, injabulo kunzima ukuyithola. Uma umyeni wakho ezihoxile emisebenzini yakhe empilweni yakho yasekhaya, nakanjani kuzodala inqwaba yezinye izinkinga.

Kusukela ekuxabaneni ngemisebenzi yasekhaya engakafezwa kuya ekucasukeni ngenxa yokuntuleka kokusekelwa ngokomzwelo nangokwezimali, izinkinga eziningi ziqala ukuvela. Uma lokho kwenzeka, ukungahlangani kwakhe ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni kungavula indlela yezinye izimpawu zomshado ohlulekayo.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, uma engenzi ingxenye yakhe ekugcineni umuzi eniwakhe ndawonye usebenza, usuke ebonisa ukungakutshali kwakhe imali emshadweni. Uma uzizwa sengathi uthwele isisindo sawo wonke umshado emahlombe akho kuphela, unesinye sezibonakaliso ezicacile zomshado ohlala naye. Ningase nihlanganyele ikhaya nodwa kodwa lelo izinga lempilo yenu enihlanganyelayo.

10. Ubonakala ephazamisekile

Ingabe uhlala ehlola ifoni yakhe ngobusuku bokuqomisana nawe? Noma ingabe uzigcina ematasa nge-laptop yakhe noma nini lapho esekhaya? Ingabe amaSonto namaholide manje achitha naye ebuka ithelevishini kanti wena wenza izinto zakho? Ingabe intuthuko yakho yokwenza okuthile ndawonye ihlangatshezwe ukucasuka nokucasuka?

Uma 'ngingakwazi nje ukukhululeka emzini wami' noma 'kungani ungangishiya ngedwa' sekuyinto evamile emshadweni wakho, kusho ukuthi akakunaki. Ukuphazamiseka kwakhe kuwuphawu lokubhidlika komshado. U-Anna, umama ongayedwa oneminyaka engu-30 wathi, “Wayeka ukunginaka, wayeka nokunaka indodakazi yethu.

“Saba umnyombo wazo zonke izinkinga zakhe kanye nembangela yokukhathazeka kwakhe. Ngesinye isikhathi wayematasa ebuka umdlalo wakhe kangangokuthi akazange abone nokuthi indodakazi yethu isiphumile ebhentshini futhi yayikhasa ibheke eziko. Kwakuwuhlaka lokugcina lokho. Ngaphambi kwalokho, ngangizishaye indiva zonke izimpawu zokuthi umshado wethu wawunezinkinga.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngicela Ungisize Ngiyeke Ukudla Kwami Okungokomzwelo

11. Usola ukuthi uyakujolela

Kunengcaphuno edumile engaziwa ezulazula ku-inthanethi, "Uma intombazane ikubuza umbuzo, kungcono uyitshele iqiniso. Amathuba okuthi ibuza ngoba vele iyazi." Abesifazane babusiswe ngomzwelo oqinile wamathumbu obenza babone kusengaphambili inhlekelele ezayo.

Uma ubulokhu uphila nomuzwa ongapheli wokuthi uyakopela futhi uthola ukuthi ukunaka kwakhe kuphambuka kwabanye besifazane, khona-ke cishe uyakopela. Futhi lokho kusho ukuthi usevele uphumile ebudlelwaneni ngokomzwelo. Indoda ekopelayo ilingana nendoda ephumile emshadweni ngokomzwelo.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi hlobo luni lobudlelwano nomunye wesifazane, iqiniso lokuthi uye wakhaphela ngamabomu ukumethemba futhi wadelela ukholo obumbeke kuye liyaqhubeka libonisa ukuthi akanandaba kangakanani. Uma lokho kungesona esinye sezimpawu ezisobala umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni, asazi ukuthi kuzoba yini.

12. Ubonakala engajabule futhi ecindezelekile

Uma usunesiqiniseko sokuthi umyeni wakho usebuhlolile ubudlelwano, kubaluleka ukuthi uhlole ubucayi besimo. Awukwazi ukuxubha izimpawu zomshado ongaphumeleli ngaphansi kukhaphethi. Manje yisikhathi sokwenza konke okusemandleni akho ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze uma umthanda ngokweqiniso umyeni wakho.

Isinyathelo sokuqala sebhizinisi ukubona ukuthi ubuhlobo benu bufanele yini ukulondolozwa . Uma nisazizwa sengathi kukhona ithemba ngani njengombhangqwana, khona-ke kufanele niqonde ukuthi yini ebangele ukuthi umyeni wakho aphume emshadweni ngokomzwelo. Uma eseshintshe ekubeni umlingani ojabulayo nonothando waba ngumuntu osemshadweni ongajabuli kodwa ongakwazi ukuhamba, nakanjani kunezizathu zalokho.

Uyaqaphela yini ukuthi isimo sakhe sokuziphatha siyedlula futhi ubonakala ephelelwa isithakazelo cishe kuyo yonke into? Ingabe ubonakala edangele futhi engajabule? Ingabe ukuqaphelile ukuthembela okwengeziwe ophuzweni oludakayo noma ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa? Khona-ke izimpawu umyeni wakho azihlolile emshadweni empeleni zingaba uphawu lomyeni ocindezelekile. Uma kunjalo, kufanele umsize abone ukushuba kwesimo futhi umenze athole usizo lochwepheshe aludinga kabi.

Izindlela Ezi-5 Zokuphikisa Izimpawu Zomshado Ohlulekayo

Ukubhekana nokuqaphela ukuthi "umyeni wami uye wahlola ngokomzwelo emshadweni" akulula, kodwa uma isikhathi eside ungayinaki le ndlovu ekamelweni, kuba nzima ukuyiphatha. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokungena enkingeni ngenxa yokwesaba umshado obhidlikayo, khetha ukuthatha izinyathelo ezisheshayo. Ungakwazi ukumelana nezimpawu zomshado ongaphumeleli futhi uhlenge ubudlelwano bakho ngalezi zinyathelo ezi-5 zokumenza atshale imali ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni, futhi:

1. Qonda ukuthi kungani enza lokhu

Kulula ukubeka icala lapho uzizwa ukuthi woniwe othile. Ukuba nombono wozwela ngezimo zomunye umuntu kuyinselele ukuyenza. Lapho umshado wakho usengozini, kufanele ukulungele ukunqoba noma iyiphi inselele. Ngakho-ke, qala ngokuzama ukuqonda ukuthi yini elethe lolu shintsho ekuziphatheni kwakhe futhi kwaqeda isibopho esingokomzwelo phakathi kwenu nobabili.

Ingabe izenzo zakho ziyimbangela eyinhloko yomshado wakho onezinkinga? Ngabe ulwa nezimo zempilo ezimshiya engenaso isikhala sokuthwala imithwalo yakhe ebudlelwaneni? Uma usumqonda, ukufinyelela nokuthatha izinyathelo zokuyilungisa kuzoba lula.

2. Khuluma naye

Ngokuvamile ibanga elingokomzwelo phakathi kombhangqwana libangelwa ukungezwani, okubangelwa lapho abantu ababili behluleka ukukhulumisana. Njengoba manje usunolwazi oluthile ngembangela yenkinga, kumelwe uthathe isinyathelo sokukhuluma naye futhi uthole ukuthi yini ngempela ebilokhu imkhathaza. Uma ukwazi ukubhekana nezinkathazo zakhe naye engezakho, ukuphinde uhlangane kuzoba lula futhi ningazinqoba izinkinga zomshado wenu ndawonye.

3. Vuselela uthando nothando

Uma iqhwa seliphukile futhi ukuxhumana kuhamba kahle, sekuyisikhathi sokuchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye futhi nithathe uhambo oluya emzileni wokukhumbula. Kuzoba yisikhumbuzo sokuthi kungani nobabili nakhetha ukuchitha impilo yenu ndawonye. Izinkumbulo ezimnandi zesikhathi esidlule zingasebenza njengekhambi lobuhlungu bokunganakwa ngokomzwelo futhi zinivumele nobabili ukuthi nivuselele uthando olulahlekile kanye nentshisekelo bese nivuselela umshado wenu ohlulekayo.

4. Ungamcunuli noma umthukuthelise

Lapho uqaphela izimpawu zokuwohloka komshado, kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela indlela eya phambili. Ukuvuma ukuthi umyeni wakho uhlolile ebudlelwaneni ngokomzwelo kungaba nzima kakhulu. Kodwa ungavumeli lezi zimpawu ezisafufusa zomshado ongaphumeleli zifinyelele kuwe.

Uma usunqume ukwenza ubudlelwano bakho busebenze futhi wahlanganisa umyeni wakho, kubalulekile ukumnika isikhathi nendawo yokucubungula imizwa nemizwa yakhe nokufinyelela kuwe ngengqondo ecacile. Ungamcindezeli ukuze akunake noma umfihle ngothando. Lokhu kuzomxosha nje futhi kumenze abuyele esimweni sakhe lapho ungase ungakwazi ngisho nokumfinyelela khona.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinzuzo Eziyi-8 Zokuphathwa Buthule Nokuthi Kungani Kuhle Ebudlelwaneni

5. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Uma ukusebenza emshadweni wedwa kukubeke kuleso simo esijwayelekile sokuya phambili ngezinyathelo ezimbili, kungaba ngumqondo omuhle ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga ezibangela ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni zingaba zijulile kangangokuthi akekho kini ongakwazi ukuzichaza kahle ngaphandle kokungenelela kwabanye.

Umshado awuwona umgwaqo. Kudinga umzamo oqhubekayo ukwenza umshado usebenze futhi ugcine ingqondo yakho nomlingani wakho niphilile. Lapho izimpawu zokungaphumeleli komshado wakho ziqala ukukuqaphela, zama ukulungisa ubuhlobo bakho kancane kancane. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi kodwa umshado wakho ungalulama esimweni esinzima. Phela bekunezizathu zokuthi nobabili nithandane. Kufanele nje ukhumbule ukuthi umthanda kangakanani umuntu ophambi kwakho futhi kancane kancane umshado wakho uzobuyela endleleni ejabulisayo. 

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.