Sonke singavuma ukuthi kunezinto okungafanele zikhulunywe ngokucasuka kodwa ukunikeza isithandwa sakho ihlombe akuyona into eyamukelekile futhi. Sonke sifundiswe ukuzijwayeza ukungakhulumi nomuntu lapho intukuthelo ikhuphuka. Kodwa-ke, lesi sikhathi sokupholisa akufanele siphanjaniswe nokuthambekela kokuqandisa omunye umuntu. Lokhu kwakamuva kuwela esigabeni sokuphathwa buthule - ukuthambekela okuhlukumezayo okwenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokuhle. Ukungazi ukuthi kufanele uphendule kanjani lapho ungasho lutho kungenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu.
Kwesinye isikhathi, abantu basebenzisa ukungakhulumisi ukukhombisa ukuthi baphatheke kabi ngento okungenzeka ukuthi uyenzile noma oyishilo noma kungaba yinto ongase ungaxhumani nayo. Kufanele kwethuse uma bekwenza njalo. Nakuba othile ekubhuqa akulona iphutha lakho, khumbula ukuthi uma umzwise ubuhlungu noma wenza okuthile okungalungile, ukuxolisa kwakho kungazuzisa kakhulu ubuhlobo bakho.
Bathi, ukunikeza umuntu ukuthula kukhuluma kakhulu ngobuntu bakho. Kodwa-ke, inkinga iwukuthi abantu abaningi ababoni ukuthi lokhu kuthambekela kungaba yingozi kangakanani kumuntu ekugcineni. Bangase bafune ukuyisebenzisa kahle ukuze bahlukane nengxabano kodwa uma ukuthula ebudlelwaneni kuqhubeka izinsuku, kuba ithuluzi lokuhlukumeza noma udlame olubandayo.
Ake siqonde isayensi yezengqondo ngemuva kokwelashwa buthule, ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukwelashwa buthule, ukuthi ungakubona kanjani ebudlelwaneni, ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma othile ekuthukuthelele futhi engafuni ukukhuluma nawe, futhi ekugcineni, indlela yokusingatha ukwelashwa buthule ngesithunzi, ngosizo lwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uSnigdha Mishra (Ukuqeqeshwa kwe-CBT esivela eBeck Institute, ePhiladelphia, kanye neDiploma ku-Integrated Clinical Hypnotherapy), ogxile ekwelulekeni kwemibhangqwana ngezinkinga eziningi.
Ukuqopha Ukukhohlisa Ukwelashwa Kuthule
Okuqukethwe
Ulayini ohlukanisa ibanga elinempilo ngemva kwengxabano kanye nokukhohlisa kokwelashwa buthule ngokuvamile kuba mncane kakhulu. Futhi eyodwa engafiphaliswa kalula. Sonke sidinga isikhathi nendawo ukuze siphole ngemva kokuxabana noma ingxoxo eshubile, futhi ngokuqinisekile, abanye abantu bangase badinge isikhathi esiningi kunabanye, kodwa lokho akusivumeli ukuba siphendule ihlombe ngabalingani bethu. Kubalulekile ukuqonda umehluko futhi uqaphele izibonelo zokwelapha buthule zalokho eziyikho ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi lowo mugqa aweqiwa.
I-psychology ngemuva kokuthula iyinkimbinkimbi. Inohlangothi oluhle kanye nebi. Futhi ukuthi usabela kanjani kukho ngokuvamile kuya ngokuthi hlobo luni obhekene nalo, ukuqala ngalo. Kuyaye kuthiwe ukunikeza umuntu ukuthula kukhuluma kakhulu ngobuntu bakho.
Kodwa-ke, ngaphambi kokuthi uqale ukusola umlingani wakho ngalokhu, kubalulekile ukwazi umehluko phakathi kokuthula ebuhlotsheni njengesenzo sokulondoloza (wena kanye nobudlelwano) nokukusebenzisa njengethuluzi lokulawula. Lokhu kuzokusiza uma lokhu kuyiqiniso futhi uzothola kulula ukuqonda ikhodi yokuthi ungasabela kanjani ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo. USnigdha usitshela ukuthi kuyini ukuqondisa ukwelashwa buthule nokuthi ungakubona kanjani,
- Ukuphathwa buthule ebudlelwaneni kungafinyelelwa kuye ngendlela ehlukile kuye ngenhloso yakho, kusebenza njengendlela enhle yokuxhumana nokucasuka kanye nokugqugquzela ukuguquka kokuziphatha noma isu elibi lokuxhaphaza imizwa.
- Ukuhoxiswa kokuxhumana ngamabomu kungaba okwakhayo uma kusetshenziselwa ukunxenxa ukuguqulwa kokuziphatha okuhle kodwa uma kusetshenziswa njengethuluzi lokukhohlisa kuba ithuluzi uhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo
- Uhlobo lwayo oluyinhloko wumdlalo wamandla ohleliwe, okuhloswe ngawo ukukhohlisa uzakwethu ekuhambiseni. Kuthikameza ubudlelwano futhi kuqhutshwa ukungalingani, ulaka oluqhubekayo, nokungabi nangqondo
- Lolu hlobo lokukhohlisa lubonisa ubudlelwano obungenampilo, obugqamisa isidingo samakhono okuxhumana aphumelelayo. Uma isetshenziswa njengethuluzi elikhohlisayo, kuvela izinkinga, okubonisa izinkinga ezijulile eziwumsuka ebudlelwaneni.
Umthelela wokwelashwa buthule
Imiphumela yengqondo yokunganakwa ngumuntu omthandayo ingaba yingozi kakhulu. Ukubhekana nomlingani ohlala esebenzisa leli qhinga kubalulekile kokubili ekusindeni kobudlelwano kanye nempilo yengqondo yomuntu. Kubangela ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo nokuhlupheka, okufana nomthelela wokuhlukumeza ngamazwi , ngaphandle kokushiya amabala emzimbeni.
Ukuhlaziywa kwezifundo ezingu-74 eziqukethe abantu abangu-14,000 kubonisa ukuthi ukunganakwa ngumuntu obalulekile kuwe kuvuselela indawo efanayo yobuchopho esabela ebuhlungwini bomzimba. Amanxeba angokomzwelo abangelwa yile nqubo angabangela umonakalo ohlala njalo, okungathinta impilo yengqondo yomuntu futhi kushintshe impendulo noma ukuziphatha kwakhe ngokwemvelo ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kwenza kubaluleke nakakhulu ukuhlola nokuhlonza izibonelo zokwelapha buthule nokuqonda ukuthi ungasabela kanjani ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo.
Ungaphendula Kanjani Ekulashweni Buthule?
Ingabe ukwelapha buthule kunobuthi? Ingabe i-stonewalling iyahlukumeza? Izimpendulo zinguyebo futhi yebo. Ukugwema ukuhlukumeza noma ukugodla ngokomzwelo kungase kubonakale kuwubuthi obukhulu futhi kuyizimpawu ezivamile eziyisixwayiso zobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo. Ukungakhulumi kubuhlungu. Naphezu komphumela wako olimazayo, lolu hlobo lokukhohlisa ludlangile ebudlelwaneni bothando. Uma kungahloliwe, kungabangela ukulimala okungenakulungiseka ebudlelwaneni kanye nakumuntu ophoqelekile ukuthi abhekane nakho.
Kuvamise ukunyakazisa isisekelo sesibopho owabelana ngaso kodwa, kuyaphoqa ukuthi usebenzele kuso ukuze ugcine ubudlelwano obuqinile nobunempilo. Ngasohlangothini olukhanyayo, akuyona inkinga engakwazi ukubhekwana nayo. Ungabhekana kanjani nomuntu okunikeza impatho buthule? Okudingayo yindlela efanele kanye nesimo sengqondo. Nakhu konke odinga ukukwazi mayelana nendlela yokusingatha ukuphathwa buthule ngesizotha futhi ugcine ukuzihlonipha kwakho nokuzihlonipha kwakho kungashintshi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Amadoda Ebuya Ngemva Kokungathintani — Izizathu Eziyi-9 Ezingenzeka
1. Thola umsuka wenkinga
Uma ubhekene nokungakhulumisani emshadweni noma ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, isinyathelo sokuqala sokuqeda lo mjikelezo onobuthi ukudalula ukuthi usukaphi. Lokhu kuqonda kuzokwenza ukuhlomele kangcono ukuthola ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuntu okunikeza impatho buthule. Ezinye zezizathu ezijwayelekile zokuthi kungani abantu baphendukela ekuthuleni njengendlela yokubhekana nokungqubuzana yilezi,
- Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kwasebuntwaneni okuholela ebunzimeni ekuvezeni imizwa engemihle
- Njengoba sesifundile ukuthi ukugodla uthando njengesijeziso kuyindlela yokusingatha izingxabano
- Ukuthambekela kweNarcissistic
- I-Blackballing ngaphandle kokwesaba
U-Snigdha uthi, "Ukuphathwa buthule kungasingathwa ngakho ngokuqala ngokuqonda isayensi yezengqondo namandla angemuva kwakho. Uma othile ekunikeza impatho buthule, umamukeli kufanele azame ukuqonda isizathu esibangela lokho. Ukuyiphatha bese kuba lula." Impendulo yokuthi ungasabela kanjani ekuphathweni buthule okuvela ku-narcissist ayikwazi ukufana nokubhekana nokugencwa ngamatshe okuvela kumlingani okhubazekile ngokomzwelo/ongavuthiwe. Ukuba nalezi zimpendulo kungase kube usizo olukhulu lapho uxazulula ingxabano eqiniswe ukugencwa ngamatshe.
2. Zama indlela yeSandwich
Lapho othile ekunikeza ukungakhulumi, ungase futhi ukhathazeke ngokwenza isimo esibi sibe sibi nakakhulu. Kuthiwani uma umlingani wakho eyeka ukukhuluma nawe ngokuphelele? Kuthiwani uma kuholela embukisweni omkhulu? Kuthiwani uma beyelula nakakhulu? Kuthiwani uma ngemva kwayo yonke imizamo yakho, ngenkani bavale umlomo wabo? Konke lokhu kukhathazeka kungaxazululwa uma ufunda ukubhekana nomuntu okunikeza impatho buthule ngobuhlakani.
Indlela yeSandwich ingaba yindlela engcono kakhulu uma uzibuza ukuthi ungayiqeda kanjani inkinga ngemva kwempikiswano. Kuyindlela yokugxeka okwakhayo ngaphandle kokucasula omunye umuntu noma ukumenza aqhelelane kakhulu ngokomzwelo kunalokho asevele eyikho. Ingqikithi yale ndlela ukusebenzisa ukuqinisa okuhle ngokusebenzisa izinkulumo ezithi 'Mina' esikhundleni sokusola ngamazwi athi 'Wena'. Nazi izibonelo ezimbalwa:
- Esikhundleni sokuthi, “Awukaze ungilalele!” zama ukusho ukuthi, “Ngingajabula uma singaba nengxoxo evulekile nekhuthele.”
- Esikhundleni sokubeka icala, “Uhlale ushiywe yisikhathi!” zama ukuthi, “Ngicabanga ukuthi kungaba usizo uma singahlonipha isikhathi somunye nomunye.”
- Esikhundleni sokugxeka, “Awulokothi usize ngemisebenzi yasekhaya!” zama ukuxoxa ngokuthi, “Masithole indlela enempilo yokusabalalisa kangcono izibopho zasekhaya ukuze siqinisekise ubudlelwano obunobulungiswa nobunokulinganisela.”
- Esikhundleni sokusola, “Umosha izinhlelo zethu!” zama ukuthi, “Ngizizwa ngidumele futhi ngingathanda ukusebenza ndawonye ukuze ngithole ikhambi elisanelisa sobabili.”
Gcina isimo esizolile nesimnene, wenze omunye umuntu azizwe ekhululekile ukuqhubeka nengxoxo; uma bethula noma behamba, hlala ukhululekile futhi ukhulume nabo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngisho noma nixabene bese beqhubeka nokukhuluma bathule ngemva kokuxabana, kuzomele ukuthole kuwena ukuze ugcine ingqondo yakho ihlangene.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-12 Zokulungisa Ubudlelwano Obunobuthi
3. Gwema ukuphendula lapho ungakhulumi ngokuthula
“Sondela kuso ngendlela enengqondo, ngaphandle kokusabela okungokomzwelo, njengoba kungase kubonise ukuhlukumeza buthule noma uhlobo oluthambile lokufuna ukunakwa, futhi ukuqonda izizathu eziyisisekelo kwenza kube lula ukuthi uphendule kanjani,” kweluleka uSnigdha. Yebo, sonke sisizwile isaga esithi 'diamond cuts diamond'. Ngaphandle kwalokhu. Ukuphendula ukuthula ngokuthula kungase kubonakale kulinga kakhulu. Kodwa izosetha kuphela igeyimu enobuthi ethi 'ngubani ocwayiza kuqala' enyakazayo engasiza muntu. Hhayi wena, hhayi umlingani wakho, futhi ngokuqinisekile akubona ubuhlobo bakho. Akufanele futhi uthathe lokhu njengelayisensi yokuhlasela umlingani wakho ngamazwi okuhlukumeza.
Konke lokhu kuzoholela ekwandiseni ibanga phakathi kwenu nobabili futhi kufakazele okulimaza ubudlelwano kanye nengqondo yenu. Indlela ephumelelayo yokubhekana nokungasho lutho ebudlelwaneni ukunweba igatsha lomnqumo. Zama ukuqinisekisa imizwa yabo ngokusemandleni akho. Ukuba ngowokuqala othintana naye ngemva kokuphathwa buthule kudinga ukuthi ugwinye ukuziqhenya kwakho futhi ubonise ukuthi ufuna ngempela ukudlula ukungqubuzana futhi wenze lobu budlelwano busebenze.
Lokhu kusiza ekudaleni isimo sokwethembana nenduduzo, lapho omunye umuntu engavuleka khona futhi akhulume ngemizwa yakhe ngokwethembeka. Iphuzu elibalulekile ukuthi, kufanele uqaphele indlela oyisebenzisayo uma ufuna ukuphula leli phethini futhi wakhe ubuhlobo obuhle . Kodwa-ke, le ndlela isebenza kahle kakhulu uma isithiyo esingokomzwelo sibangela ukuziphatha. Uma ufuna izindlela zokuphendula ekuphathweni buthule okuvela kumuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza noma umhlukumezi oqhubekayo, akusikho lokhu.
4. Zama ukukhulula amagqubu
Ukubaluleka kokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni akukwazi ukugcizelelwa ngokwanele. Kungenye yalezo zimfundiso ezingahlonishwa kakhulu ezingasebenza njengomlingo ekubuyiseleni uthando nokholo ngisho nasebudlelwaneni obuwohlokayo. Ngakho-ke, impendulo ingase ibe sekuyekeni amagqubu akho bese ubheka izindlela zokuqhubeka usuka ezingxabanweni.
Ikakhulukazi, uma uthola indlela enempilo yokusabela ekulapheni buthule emngceleni. Kulokhu, kungase kusize ukunqamula umlingani wakho, umxolele ngokubhebhetha impi ngokukuqandisa, futhi uzame ukuqonda ukuthi kungani abantu benikeza impatho buthule.
Ngokuqinisekile, ukunqoba ubuhlungu obubangelwa othandekayo akulula. Kodwa kufanele uzame. Esikhundleni sokugxila endleleni owoniwe ngayo, bheka ngaphakathi futhi uhlole ukushiyeka kwakho namaphutha akho. Bese uxolisa kubo. Ngeke nje uzizwe ulula futhi ungenayo imithwalo kodwa isenzo sizophinde sincibilikise iqhwa phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho. Uma lokho sekwenziwe, ukuvela ethambekeni lokuphendukela ekuziphatheni okunjalo kuzoba lula.
5. Yeka ukwenza umnyakazo wokuqala
Njengomuntu onolwazi lwalokhu kuhlukumeza buthule, akuphoqelekile kuwe ukuthi ufinyelele ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ikakhulukazi uma uzama ukuqonda ukuthi ungaphendula kanjani ekuphathweni buthule okuvela ku-narcissist. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukulinda kungase kubonakale kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza omunye umuntu abone umthelela wezenzo zakhe. Ukubhekana nomuntu okunikeza impatho buthule kaningi kudinga ukuthi ubambe owakho.
"Uma kuwukufuna ukunakwa okungenangozi, unganikeza umlingani wakho ukunaka okuthile futhi uqhubeke. Ezimweni zokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo, vumela umuntu aphule iqhwa, agweme ukuqinisekisa izenzo zakhe, futhi afune iseluleko sokubhekana nokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo nokwakha kabusha ubuhlobo," kusho uSnigdha.
Uma umlingani wakho ehlehla kukho konke ukuxhumana nawe ukuze nje afakazele iphuzu noma akwenze uzwane nomugqa wakhe futhi efuna ukuthi ube ngowokuqala ukuxhumana naye ngemva kokuthula, khona-ke ukwelula igatsha lomnqumo akuyona indlela yakho engcono kakhulu. Ikakhulukazi uma lokhu sekuphenduke iphethini. Kungase kukulimaze ukuzethemba kwakho. Kunalokho, kufanele ulinde ukuthi beze kuwe. Nokho, lapho besondela ukuze balungise, ungabavaleli ngaphandle ngokwakho. Khumbula ukuthi akukho okungathatha indawo yokuxhumana okuphumelelayo ebudlelwaneni.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngithande Kakhulu! Umfazi Okwakufanele Abe Yisikhungo Sokunaka
6. Banike isikhathi nendawo
Ungasabela kanjani ekuphathweni buthule bese uqeda ukungabaza? Uma uthatha indlela eshiwo ngenhla yokuvumela umlingani wakho eze kuwe, qiniseka ukuthi unikeza omunye umuntu isikhathi aze alungele ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala. Uma wenza lokho, mtshele ukuthi ulinde ukuxoxa ngezinto.
Ngenkathi usalindile, ungachithi sonke isikhathi namandla akho emibuzweni efana nokuthi, “Ingabe ukuthulisa akuvuthiwe?” "Kusho ukuthini ukuthula ebudlelwaneni?" Lokhu kuzokwenza ukuthula komlingani wakho kube nzima kakhulu futhi kube nzima ukubhekana nakho. Kunalokho, thatha isikhala sakho somqondo ngomsebenzi owuthandayo. Ngaleyo ndlela, lapho nikhuluma, niyoba nesimo sengqondo esingcono sokuqonda umbono womunye umuntu. Ukwazi ukuthi ungakuqeda kanjani ukuthula ebudlelwaneni nokuthi nini kuwukuqonda okubalulekile okungakunika amandla okubhekana nalokhu kuthambekela kangcono.
7. Funa usizo
Uma uqede konke ongakhetha kukho futhi wenza imizamo eqotho kodwa umbuzo wokuthi ungakunqoba kanjani ukuthula buthule usamile, kungase kube isikhathi sokufuna iseluleko. Usizo lochwepheshe ngendlela yokwelapha abantu ababili - noma ngisho nokwelashwa komuntu ngamunye - kungaba yinzuzo enkulu ekuboneni nasekuxazululeni izinkinga ezithile ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni.
“Ngezinye izikhathi umngane wakho womshado ukubekezelele ngoba engakwazi ukucubungula imizwa yakhe siqu.” Ungase usale unomuzwa wokuthi ungakhulumisani emshadweni noma ubuhlobo benu buya buba nzima, kuyilapho umngane wakho engase angayazi ngisho nenye indlela yokusabela lapho engaboni ngaso linye noma nixabene,” kusho uSnigdha.
Ungase uqale ukubona ukuzethemba kwakho kuncipha kancane kancane. Ezimweni ezinjalo, umbono wochwepheshe ungasiza ekulungiseni izinto. Uma ucabanga ukufuna usizo, abeluleki abanekhono nabanolwazi kuphaneli yeBonobology balapha ukukusiza.
8. Iba nengxoxo eqotho nawe
Uma uke wazama ukubhekana nothile ngokukuphatha kabi ngokuthula kodwa wanhlanga zimuka nomoya, kungase kube isikhathi sokubheka ngaphakathi ukuze uthole izimpendulo. Uphathina wakho kungenzeka ukuthi akakakulungeli ukuxoxa kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi nawe kufanele ugweme imibuzo ebucayi. Iba nengxoxo eqotho nawe bese uzama ukuqonda ukuthi yiziphi izinkinga ezidala lokhu kucwaswa okuphindaphindiwe.
Kuleli qophelo, kubalulekile futhi ukucabangisisa ngokuthi ngabe lesi sibalo siyawuphazamisa yini umzimba nengqondo yakho. Uma kunjalo, zibuze ukuthi ingabe kukhona ukujula kothando okufanele ubuthi obunjalo? Uyafuna ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo kangako? Uma ucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho ufanelwe ithuba ngenxa yokuthi banothando futhi bayakhathalela, futhi uzimisele ukwenza umzamo wokuxazulula lolu daba, ungabheka izindlela zokulusingatha.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-9 Zokuthi Unezinkinga Ezinkulu Zokuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni Bakho
9. Qhubekela phambili
Ungasabela kanjani ekuphathweni buthule okuvela ku-narcissist noma umhlukumezi we-serial? Umbuzo ovame ukuholela emiphumeleni efile ngoba omunye umuntu usebenzisa ngamabomu ukuthula njengethuluzi lokukulawula. Lokho kusho ukuthi inhloso yokulungisa ilahlekile.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukuqhubekela phambili kuvame ukuba ngcono kunokuhlala nokusebenzisa impilo yakho yansuku zonke uzibuza ukuthi ungakunqoba kanjani ukuthula. Ungase umthande ngokujulile umlingani wakho kodwa ngeke ukuthole injabulo noma ukuthula kwengqondo kuye. Ngezinye izikhathi, indlela efanele yokubhekana nezimo ezinjalo iwukuba uzibeke kuqala. Futhi lesi esinye isimo esinjalo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zesexwayiso Zokukhanya Kwegesi Nezindlela Ezi-5 Zokubhekana Nakho
10. Yazi ukuthi bekungelona iphutha lakho
Ngisho noma umenzi wokungakhulumisani ezokwenza ukholelwe kanjalo, awunacala ngokuziphatha kwabo. Ngakho-ke, thatha umoya ojulile, ukhiphe ukusola, futhi ugxile ekuzelapheni. Umthelela walezi zinhlobo zokuhlukumeza ngokuvamile kunzima ukuwubona kodwa ujulile. Funa usizo oludingayo, futhi uzinakekele, ukuze ukuhlukumezeka okubangelwa ubudlova bokuthula kungabeki ithunzi ebuhlotsheni bakho obuseduze besikhathi esizayo.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukungasho lutho kuyingozi njengoba kudala ukuqhelelana ngokomzwelo, kuqeda ukwethembana, futhi kukhinyabeze ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo, kuvimbele ukuxazululwa kwezingxabano.
- Ukuze ubhekane nesimo, hlala uzolile futhi ukhululekile, umelana nesifiso sokuziphindiselela noma ukwandisa isimo
- Zindla ngokuziphatha kwakho futhi ucabange ukuthi ngabe kube khona yini izenzo noma amazwi abe nomthelela ekuthuleni
- Qala ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nenhlonipho, uveza ukuzimisela kwakho ukubhekana nanoma yikuphi okukukhathazayo noma izingxabano
- Uma ukungakhulumisani kuqhubeka, funa ukulamula noma usizo lochwepheshe ukuze uqhube ingxoxo eyakhayo futhi uxazulule izinkinga eziwumsuka.
Ukusabela ekuphathweni buthule kudinga isineke nozwela. Yebo, ngezinye izikhathi ukuthula kungcono kunokusho izinto ongazizwa unecala ngazo kamuva. Kodwa udinga ukuqonda lapho umugqa ulele. Gwema ukuziphindiselela noma ukuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni okubi. Kunalokho, lwela ukuqonda nokukhulumisana ngokukhululekile. Gcina ukuzola kwakho, mnike indawo uma kudingeka, futhi ulalele ngentshiseko lapho umuntu eselungele ukukhuluma. Misa imingcele futhi ufune ukusekelwa kubantu abathenjwayo nakubantu abalungile. Ngala masu asebenzayo, ungakhuthaza ukuxhumana okungcono futhi wakhe ukuxhumana okuqinile.
Le ndatshana ibuyekezwe ngoJuni 2023
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ingqondo yokwelapha buthule ingavela ebuntwaneni obunobuthi , ukuzikhukhumeza, noma ukungakwazi komuntu ukusingatha imizwa yakhe. Abantu abafuna ukunakwa bangase basebenzise ukuziphatha okunjalo kodwa abanye bakusebenzisa njengethuluzi lokukhohlisa. Kubize ngokuthi ukuhlukumeza ukwelashwa buthule.
Kubuhlungu kakhulu ngoba ukuntuleka kwengxoxo noma amakhono okuxhumana aphumelelayo kushiya umuntu esesimweni sokuphathwa buthule ebhekene nemibuzo. Abaqondi ukuthi kungani umlingani wakhe eziphatha ngale ndlela. Ukulahlwa yikuphathwa buthule kubi nakakhulu ngoba abakaze bavalwe.
Kwesinye isikhathi ukuthula ungakhulumi kuyindlela yokugwema ingxabano futhi unikeze umlingani wakho isikhathi sokuphola. Amahlandla amafushane awo angaba kuhle ebudlelwaneni futhi angasiza ekugwemeni izingxabano ezimbi. Kodwa uma kuqhubeka isikhathi eside, kungaholela ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi nobuhlukumezayo.
Njengokukhanyisa igesi, ukungakhulumisani nakho kuwuhlobo lokukhohlisa lapho umuntu ehoxisa ukuxhumana ukuze alawule futhi alawule umlingani wakhe. Ungalokhu uxolisa ubuza ukuthi kwenzenjani, kodwa umuntu wakho ahlale umama angaphenduli.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
