Lokhu kuyiqiniso abesifazane abaningi abashadile ababhekana nakho eNdiya. Kungenzeka ukuthi uhlala nomndeni womyeni wakho noma uhlala endaweni ehlukene kodwa uma umyeni wakho ekhetha umndeni wakhe phezu kwakho kuba yimpi eqhubekayo okumele uhlale ulwa nayo empilweni yakho. Emindenini yamaNdiya, indodana kulindeleke ukuthi ibeke phambili abazali bayo nezingane zakubo ngisho nalapho isishadile futhi inomndeni wayo. Ngakho-ke ngokuvamile okwenzekayo ukuthi umyeni uqhubeka nokufeza izidingo zezezimali nezengqondo zomkhaya wakhe futhi inkosikazi nabantwana bayo bavame ukucelwa ukuba bayekethise.
Ezimweni eziningi, kuye kwenzeka nokuthi umyeni uthuthele wonke umkhaya wakhe kwelinye izwe ngoba abazali bakhe babefuna ahlale eduze kwabo. Njengonkosikazi wakhe ubungase uphatheke kabi ngalesi sinqumo kodwa umyeni wakho ukhetha umndeni wakhe phezu kwakho bese ekutshela ukuthi ukunakekela umndeni wakhe kuwumsebenzi wakhe futhi kufanele ukwamukele lokho njengoba ushadile naye. Kodwa esikhundleni sokuba uqine futhi ulwe naye, ungase ucabange ukuthatha izinyathelo ezithile ukuze alinganisele umkhaya wakhe kanye nezifiso zakho.
Nakuba lokhu kungase kube iphuzu elibuhlungu ebudlelwaneni, akuyona into ongase ufune ukubeka umshado wakho engozini. Ikakhulukazi uma zonke ezinye izici zobudlelwano bakho zinempilo futhi zisebenza. Lokhu kusiletha enkingeni engapheli yokuthi yini okufanele uyenze lapho umyeni wakho enamathele kakhulu emndenini wakhe.
Izinto Eziyi-12 Okufanele Uzenze Lapho Umyeni Wakho Ekhetha Umndeni Wakhe Ngaphezu Kwakho
Okuqukethwe
Njengomkakhe, kungenzeka ukuthi wawuvame ukuzwa ukuthi kuwumsebenzi wakho ukwenza ukuphila kwakhe kube lula futhi kungabi nzima. Uma umyeni wakho ekhetha umndeni wakhe phezu kwakho ngokuphindaphindiwe, khona-ke kufanele ukhumbule ukuthi ubelokhu esebenza ngokwengqondo ukwenza kanjalo kusukela ebuntwaneni bakhe.
Uma izingane zihlangana nabantu eNdiya, zicabanga ukuthi abazali bakho bazoba yinto eza kuqala kuwe futhi ngisho namanje lapho amadodana efuna ukuba nendawo yokuhlala ehlukile ngemva komshado kukhona ukugxekwa okukhulu hhayi nje kuphela okuvela kubazali kodwa nasezihlotsheni nakomakhelwane abaqhubeka bethi: nansi indodana iboshelwe endodeni yomfazi.
Njengonkosikazi, kufanele uqaphele lapho umyeni wakho ekhetha umndeni wakhe empeleni wenza intambo eqinile futhi enqotshwa ingcindezi enkulu. Akukhona ukuthi uthanda umndeni wakhe kancane kodwa akakwazi ukwenza isenzo sokulinganisa ngenxa yesimo sakhe sengqondo.
Ngakho-ke, lapho izimpawu umyeni wakho ebeka umndeni wakhe kuqala zisuke zikugqolozele ebusweni, ungadangali. Nazi izinto eziyi-12 ongazenza ukuze wenze ukushintshashintsha kobudlelwano bakho nomyeni wakho ngokubuka umndeni wakhe kube lula:
1. Yamukela ubuhlobo obuqinile bomyeni wakho nomama wakhe
Bangaba basebenza noma bangaba ngabasebenzi basekhaya kodwa kuyiqiniso ukuthi impilo yomama baseNdiya igxile ezinganeni. Ngokungafani nalapho bese-UK noma e-US lapho omama bevame ukuma khona ukuze baphuze utshwala ngemva komsebenzi ngaphambi kokuya ekhaya, ubungahlala ubona umama waseNdiya egijima ekhaya evela emsebenzini ukuyosiza ingane yakhe ngomsebenzi wesikole noma eyoyipha ukudla okumnandi. Futhi njengoba sonke sazi, omama baseNdiya abawadedeli amadodana abo ngisho nangemva komshado.
Thatha isibonelo sikaMeenu noRajesh, bobabili asebekhulile eminyakeni engu-50 futhi asebeshade iminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili. Ikakhulukazi inempilo yomshado ejabulisayo, ngaphandle kwesici esisodwa - usizi lomkhwekazi. U-Rajesh uyindodana evikelayo nenakekelayo, futhi u-Meenu uphatha lolo thando njengento ehlambalazayo endaweni yakhe empilweni yakhe.
Kuze kube namuhla, zonke izingxabano zabo mayelana nesikhalazo sikaMeenu, “Umyeni wami uhlale emeseka umama wakhe.” Noma ngabe umcasukela kangakanani ngalokho, uRajesh uyaqhubeka nokuba yindodana eqotho. Uma isimo sakho sifana, kuyasiza ukukhumbula ukuthi amadoda angamaNdiya ayakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nonina futhi ahlala ekhumbuza amadodana awo ukuthi adela okuningi ukuze awanikeze izimpilo ezingcono futhi kwakuzodingeka abuyisele lapho esekulungele lokho.
Ngakho-ke uma enemali yokuthenga i-saree eyodwa kaKanjeevaram , uzoyithengela unina. Esikhundleni sokucasuka ngalokhu, zizwe ujabule ngokuthi umyeni wakho uyamzwela unina futhi ufuna ukumnika okungcono kakhulu. Lokhu kulungile - uma nje kungeyona into ephindaphindwayo. Izenzo ezincane zothando azisho ukuthi umyeni wakho ukhethe umama wakhe kunawe. Ungamgconi ngokuba ngumfana kamama. Indodana ekhathalelayo ingasho futhi umyeni okhathalelayo.
2. Xoxa ngezinhlelo zokuhamba
Kungenzeka ukuthi abasekhweni kanye nezingane zakini bahlale befakiwe ezinhlelweni zohambo lomndeni wakho. Lokhu kungase kucasule ngempela ngoba lolu olunye lwezimpawu zokuthi umyeni wakho ubeka umndeni wakhe kuqala. Ngaphandle kokuthi ukuba neholidi lomndeni akusho ukuba nabantu abadala nawe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi kubo, ubulokhu unika lawo maholide e-zip-lining kanye ne-bungee jumping. Kodwa yini okufanele uyenze uma umamezala wakho emaka yonke indawo?
Tshela umyeni wakho ukuthi uma uhamba kabili ngonyaka omunye abe nomndeni wakhe omunye abe nomkakhe nezingane. Ungasebenza kubhajethi ngendlela efanele futhi wenze uhlu lwemisebenzi ongathanda ukuyenza. Tshela umyeni wakho ukuthi acele abazali bakhe ukuthi bakhethe indawo eyodwa oya kuyo futhi indawo yesibili yeholide kuzoba yisinqumo sakho. Ngeke uthole ukukhuza ngaleso sikhathi ukuthi umyeni wakho ukhetha umndeni wakhe phezu kwakho futhi uyokwaneliswa ngokwenza into yakhe ohlangothini lwakhe lomndeni.
3. Hlela isabelomali
Uma ubona ukuthi iningi lemali engenayo yomyeni wakho linikezwa abazali bakhe ukuze banakekele ikhaya labo futhi usala ubhekene nezinkinga zezimali ekupheleni kwenyanga, khona-ke kuba yinto ekhungathekisayo ngempela. Yini okufanele uyenze uma umyeni wakho enamathele kakhulu emndenini wakhe futhi ebona kungumthwalo wakhe ukufeza izidingo nezifiso zabo?
Hlala nomyeni wakho nihlele isabelomali sokuthi yimalini okufanele iye emndenini womyeni wakho nokuthi yimalini okufanele igcinelwe owakho. Mtshele ngenkathi uzoqinisekisa ukuthi aweqisi isabelomali, kufanele aqinisekise ukuthi abazali bakhe benza okufanayo. Ngaleyo ndlela umyeni wakho akakutholi ukukhetha umndeni wakhe ngaphezu kwakho.
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4. Uma kunezimo eziphuthumayo
Umyeni wakho ubelokhu evakashela umzala wakhe esibhedlela uma ephuma emsebenzini ngoba uyelulama engozini? Futhi udonsa kanzima ezifundweni zezingane zakho futhi ungakwenza ngosizo oluvela kuye kwiMaths. Noma ingabe uphuthuma ukusiza udadewabo omncane kuzo zonke izinkinga ezincane angase abe nazo, akushiye ubambana nomuzwa wokuthi "umyeni wami uhlala ekhetha udadewabo esikhundleni sami".
Amhlalise phansi amchazele ukuthi yize kumnandi ukuthi uzwa sengathi umzala wakhe uyamdinga esibhedlela futhi uyamvakashela nsuku zonke noma ukhona kudadewabo kodwa wayekwazi nokumzwela indodana yakhe amsize ngeMaths. Ngakho kungaba elinye ilungiselelo losuku. Ngelinye ilanga uvakashele esibhedlela, ngelinye ilanga iMaths nendodana.
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5. Yehlisa ukuvakasha kwezihlobo
Ingabe ikhaya lakho lizizwa njenge-Dharamsala lapho izihlobo zingena khona ngaphandle kokufona futhi zilindele ukuthi ushiye yonke into futhi uzenzele itiye nokudla okulula lapho zikhombisa ubuso bazo? Lokhu kuyiqiniso emakhaya amaningi e-India futhi amakhosikazi alindeleke ukuthi ajabulise izihlobo ngoba umyeni ukhetha umndeni wakhe kunomkakhe. Isikhathi esiningi akayiboni ingcindezi ayifake kumkakhe ngokuba nethimba lezihlobo njalo ekhaya.
Mtshele ukuthi abe nezimpelasonto zokuvakasha okunjalo. Uma uhlala nabasekhweni awukwazi ngempela ukukhawulela ukuvakashela izihlobo ngoba abantu abadala bavame ukukhululeka ukujabulisa izivakashi. Bese ucacisa ezihlotsheni zakho ngaphandle kokudelela ukuthi unomsebenzi okufanele uwenze uma zifika ngakho-ke uma uhlala uvaleleke ekamelweni lakho, akufanele bakubambe. Dala imingcele yakho, umyeni wakho uzoqala ukuqaphela ukuthi kungenzeka yini nokuthi yini engenakwenzeka.
6. Sebenza ngesikhathi 'sami'
Uma uhlala ekhweni lakho, kungenzeka yini ukuthi umyeni wakho abuyele ekhaya aqonde ekamelweni labazali bakhe bese ephuma lapho ngemva kwehora noma amabili kuphela? Futhi uma nihlala ngokwehlukana, kungase kunikezwe ukuthi izimpelasonto kufanele zichithelwe endaweni kamkhwenyana futhi ngeke ube nezifiso zamamuvi noma udle ngaphandle.
Mhlawumbe, noma isiphi isikhathi esikhululekile asitholayo phakathi komsebenzi neminye imithwalo yemfanelo, usichitha ehlezi nabangane bakhe. Awunaphutha ngokuphelele, uma uqiniseka, "Umyeni wami ubeka abangane bakhe nomndeni ngaphambi kwami." Tshela umyeni wakho ukuthi awunankinga ngokuvakashela abasekhweni lakho kodwa uma kungase kwenziwe enye indaba yesonto ngabe njengombhangqwana ningaba nesikhathi sami.
Ngokufanayo, ningafinyelela esivumelwaneni mayelana nokuthi kungaba imvamisa eyamukelekayo yokuphuma kwabafana bakhe ebusuku. Uma eqonde ekamelweni lomzali wakhe ngemva kwehhovisi, umtshela ukuthi kulungile kodwa kufanele aqinisekise ukuthi ngemva kwalokho uma enawe umnyango wekamelo lakho uvaliwe futhi unendawo yakho. Akukho ukungqongqoza okungapheli komndeni wakhe ukuze kuzwakale imicabango yawo.
7. Ubeka phambili umndeni wakho futhi
Uma umyeni wakho ekhetha umndeni wakhe ngaphezu kwakho, nawe ukhetha umndeni wakho ngaphezu kwakhe. Uma ingxenye yeholo lakhe liya emndenini wakhe, qiniseka ukuthi ingxenye yeholo lakho iya emndenini wakho futhi. Faka nabazali bakho ngesikhathi samaholide omndeni wakho futhi lapho ethengela umama wakhe ama-saree, thengele nawo umama wakho afanayo.
Chitha isikhathi esiningi nabazali bakho noma uvakashele abazala ngendlela enza ngayo. Kodwa ungakwenzi ngomuzwa wokuziphindiselela noma ukumphindisela. Kunalokho, kubheke njengendlela yokugcwalisa isikhathi lapho umyeni wakho engatholakali kuwe ngokuzungeza abantu obathandayo. Ubani owaziyo kule nqubo mhlawumbe angabona izinto ezimbalwa futhi uzokwazi ukudala imingcele.
8. Zithathele ezakho izinqumo
Kwesinye isikhathi isinqumo esinjengokuthi yiliphi ikolishi indodana yakho okufanele ifundele kulo noma ukuthi indodakazi yakho kufanele ibuyele nini ekhaya siba yizihloko zezingqungquthela zetafula lomndeni. Nomyeni wakho ugcina esekuqakathekisa lokho ngoba yikho esejwayele ukukubona emndenini wakhe.
Yini okufanele uyenze lapho umyeni wakho enamathele kakhulu emndenini wakhe futhi bethola izwi kuzo zonke izinqumo ezinkulu nezincane eziphathelene nempilo yakho neyezingane zakho? Siphakamisa ukuthi ufunde ukukhetha izimpi zakho. Uma becabanga ukuthi ikolishi laseMelika liwukumosha imali kodwa ubulokhu ufisa eyodwa yendodana yakho, beka unyawo lwakho phansi. Unelungelo lokuzenzela izinqumo. Wazi kangcono.
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9. Qonda ukuthi umyeni ukhetha umndeni wakhe ngoba akazi ukuthi angenzenjani
Emizini yamaNdiya, amadoda angase afune ukusiza omkawo ekhishini kodwa njengoba oyise bengazange babasize omama bawo, bayehluleka ukukwenza lokho ngoba besaba ukuhlehla kwenkosikazi emndenini. Akakwazi ukuveza imizwa yakhe futhi akakwazi ngempela ukuba nesibindi esanele sokuthi “cha” kubazali bakhe.
Ngakho wayezulazula ekhishini noma ahlikihle unyawo umkakhe ukuze ehlise ingcindezi kodwa angakwazi ukuthatha leso sinyathelo sokujoyina umkakhe ekhishini. Kodwa ungamkhethi esidlangalaleni. Uma kunjalo, kufanele uqonde imizwa yakhe yangempela noma mhlawumbe umkhuthaze ukuba aphule izimiso zezinzalamizi zomkhaya.
10. Khuluma ngemizwa yakho
Lapho udonsa kanzima ukuze ubhekane nezimpawu umyeni wakho abeka umndeni wakhe kuqala, yazi ukuthi ukuxhumana okunempilo nokwethembeka kuyisihluthulelo sokuxazulula noma iyiphi inkinga yobudlelwano. Yebo, lokho kuhlanganisa ukunamathela komngane wakho womshado nomndeni wakhe. Umyeni wakho angase angazi nokuthi unomuzwa wokuthi ukhetha umndeni wakhe esikhundleni sakho.
Lokhu akwenzayo kuzenzakalela kuye. Ubelokhu ebeka phambili ezintweni ezincane futhi engaboni ukuthi ukulimaza kangakanani ngokukunikeza ukwelashwa okuyisakhamuzi sesibili. Kodwa uma uba nengxoxo naye futhi umtshele indlela enizizwa ngayo, khona-ke nobabili ningahlala ndawonye nilungise indlela yokuphuma. Ngaleyo ndlela akukho ukungezwani nokubola. Ungakwazi ukuxazulula imizwa yakho ngokukhuluma.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela ezi-5 zokusebenzelana nabazali bomyeni wakho
11 Cabangela izimo
Kungase kube nesimo lapho umyeni wakho ekudinga ngempela ukunaka umkhaya wakhe nosizo lwezezimali. Lokho kungaba ukugula, isidingo sokutakulwa isikweletu noma izimo ezifanayo. Uma kunjalo, kuyodingeka umeseke ukuze ume nomndeni wakhe.
Uma ungakwenzi, khona-ke ungase umhlukanise nawe. Qaphela ukuthi uyingane yabo kuqala futhi wahlala nabo isikhathi eside kunaleso ehlala nawe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, siyaqiniseka, ubungeke ngempela uyayazise indoda engekho nabazali bayo lapho beyidinga ngempela futhi ngempela.
12. Gwema ukucasuka
Umyeni wakho angaba umfana kamama noma abe nobudlelwane obuqinile nonina kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi uzocasuka futhi ulokhu ugxeka umyeni wakho ukuthi ukhetha umndeni wakhe ngaphezu kwakho. “Umyeni wami uhlale emeseka umama wakhe” - uma uvumela lo mcabango ukhule engqondweni yakho, kuzoba nzima ukwamukela isibopho sabo.
Kungase kube nezimo, ngezinye izikhathi izimo ezingenakugwenywa, ezenza indoda ikhethe umndeni wayo, kodwa ngokuqinisekile izolindela ukusekelwa kwakho. Ungakhi ukucasuka ngalokhu. Ukucasuka kungadala ukungaboni ngaso linye ebudlelwaneni bakho. Zama ukuthatha izinyathelo ezinhle ngokuxhumana nokudala imingcele futhi ungagcini ukucasuka ngokuthi ukhetha umndeni wakhe ngaphezu kwakho.
Ingabe Oshade Naye Kufanele Abe Nguye Oza Kuqala Kuwe?
Lapho ushada nomuntu futhi uthembisa ukuchitha impilo yakho naye, kunikezwe ukuthi oshade naye kuzoba yinto eza kuqala kuwe. Bese uthumela umshado, uyazibuza ukuthi kungani umyeni wakho ekhetha umndeni wakhe, ephindelela, ekulimaza ohlelweni.
Ukuqonda owakwakho, ukumnaka kanye nokwanelisa zonke izidingo zomlingani wakho kuyinto eza kuqala kuwe. Yingakho washada. Kodwa nakanjani, kunikezwe ukuthi nizosekelana ekunakekeleni imindeni yenu. Kodwa awukwazi njalo ukukhetha umndeni wakho kunomlingani wakho. Akwenziwa lokho.
Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele uyenze lapho umyeni wakho enamathele kakhulu emndenini wakhe? Yini ongayenza ukuze unqamule lo mgomo? Iseluleko esisodwa esilula esingahamba ibanga elide ekuxazululeni umshikashika siwukuba yingxenye yomkhaya wakhe, ngobuqotho bangempela. Uma uyeka ukubheka amandla obudlelwano avela ku-prism 'thina ngokumelene nabo', ingxenye yosizi lwakho izoshabalala.
Izindlela ezi-5 lapho umshado wavela ngokuphambene nalokho engangikucabanga
7 Amathiphu Abesilisa Ababambekile Phakathi Kwenkosikazi Nomama Emndenini Ohlangene
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
YINI engiqeda kuyifunda? Lesi sihloko siyinto embi kakhulu, ekhohlisayo kwengake ngayifunda. Ingabe lokhu kwabhalwa uMama ofuna ukushada nendodana yakhe? Ngokujulile! Kuzwakala njengozakwethu, lol. Yamukela nje ukuthi uyithanda kakhulu inkosikazi yakhe. Ungabucasuli ubuhlobo bomyeni wakho nale nkosikazi. INI!!!!!!!
Ngidale i-akhawunti ukuze nje ngibhale lawa mazwana:
I-Bonobology ethandekayo,
Kungani ungabhali isihloko mayelana nomama okufanele bafundise amadodana abo ukuzimela.. nokuthi kufanele bakubeke kanjani phambili ukuphila kwabo komshado? Akufanele yini ukuba umama onamathele ngokweqile afundise amadodana awo ukuba agxile emshadweni wawo? Lapha, ngizokusiza ukubhala isihloko ukuze kube lula kuwe.
Izinto Ezingu-12 Okufanele Uzenze Lapho Indodana Yakho Ikhetha Unkosikazi Wayo Kuwe
1) “Yamukela ubuhlobo obuqinile bendodana yakho nomkayo.” Lokhu kuhle. Ingabe ufuna indodana yakho ibe nomshado ojabulisayo? Noma ufuna indodana nomalokazana wakho bazondane amathumbu bese behlukanisa? Kufanele ujabule kakhulu ngokuthi bachitha isikhathi sabo esiningi ndawonye.
2) “Hlela ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, kodwa hhayi KAKHULU.”
Uma indodana yakho ichitha zonke izimpelasonto endlini yakho, kuyasangana lokho. Bangabantu aba-2 abaziphilela impilo yabo. Abayona impahla yakho. Awuboni neze ezinye izingane zakho nabazukulu bakho. Kungani uzifela ngale ndodana?
3) “Yenza ibhajethi.”
Yeka ukuthi indodana yakho ikukhokhele yonke into empilweni yakho. Unemali yakho. Indodana yakho kufanele yonge imali yokuthatha umhlalaphansi, kufanele ikhokhe imali ebolekiwe yendlu yayo, kufanele yakhe i-akhawunti yokonga ezimweni eziphuthumayo uma kwenzeka igula, futhi kufanele yongele imfundo yengane yayo yase-univeristy. Yenza ibhajethi yakho. Zikhokhele izinto zakho. Uma ungenayo imali, qiniseka, cela usizo kuye, kodwa cela ZONKE izingane zakho ngokulinganayo ukuze uthole usizo. Ungavele ubeke konke enganeni EYODWA. Musa ukusizakala ngaleyo ngane EYODWA engakwazi ukuthi cha.
4) "Izimo eziphuthumayo"
Ungenzi yonke into ibonakale “njengesimo esiphuthumayo”. Awukwazi ukuvula imbiza ye-masala ebusuku? Akusona isimo esiphuthumayo. Udinga into engu-1 eyengeziwe esitolo segrosa? Akusona isimo esiphuthumayo. Ingabe ufuna ukusetha ikholi yokusondeza nomndeni wakho ekhaya? Akusona isimo esiphuthumayo. Udinga ukuvakashela eThempelini kulo Mgqibelo eDarasar? Akusona isimo esiphuthumayo. Isimo esiphuthumayo sisho ukuthi othile uyagula noma uyafa. Indodana yakho ifile ikhathele ukusebenza usuku lonke. Uthola ubuthongo obanele. Kudingeka achithe isikhathi nomkakhe nomshado wabo. Udinga ukuzivocavoca. Yeka ukumenza akwenzele yonke into encane. Umbulala kancane.
5) "Yehlisa ukuvakasha kwezihlobo"
Yeka ukuya emzini wendodana yakho ungashongo. Okwenzayo nje ukukhononda nokubeka ubuso lapho uya khona, mayelana nokuthi indlu ingcolile kangakanani. Bese utshela abakini ukuthi ukhohlakele kanjani umalokazana wakho. Ucindezela umfazi wendodana yakho. Useqala ukuzonda amathumbu akho. Udala izinkinga emshadweni wendodana yakho. Awuboni ukuthi uyamkhulisa amahomoni okucindezeleka futhi andisa namathuba akhe okuba nomdlavuza? Uyafuna ukuthi umalokazana wakho abe umuntu ogulayo? Noma usheshe ufe? Ingabe ungumama omubi?
6). "Sebenzisa isikhathi "sami":
Hamba uyozikhipha nabangani bakho abakhulu. Thola ukuphila. Ungumuntu omdala ozimele. Yenza njengomunye.
7). “Nawe ubeke umndeni wakho kuqala”:
Unomndeni we-HUUUUUGE. Hamba uchithe isikhathi nawo wonke umuntu ngokulinganayo. OkaBhabi bakho noBaba noWawa kanye noZeeZee, noma ubani. Imindeni yamaNdiya mikhulu. Hamba uchithe isikhathi nabanye abantu. Vumela indodana yakho nomkakhe BAPHEFUMELE amasonto ambalwa ngaphandle kwakho. BANINGI abanye abantu ongachitha nabo isikhathi.
8) “Vumela indodana yakho nomkayo bazenzele ezabo izinqumo:
Awuyilawuli impilo yabo. Awuyena umphathi wabo. Abazona isilwane sakho esifuywayo. Awuyena umnikazi wazo. Bangabantu abazimele abanelungelo lokuzenzela izinqumo kulokhu kuphila. Uphile impilo yakho. Wenze izinqumo zakho. Vumela indodana yakho nomkayo bazenzele izinqumo. Noma kuyisinqumo esingalungile, akuyona inkinga yakho leyo. Banikeze iseluleko NGESINYE uma bekubuza… yilokho kuphela. Bese ubavumela banqume ukuthi bafunani, futhi ungaqhwagi noma ukhononde noma ukhononde ngokuthi abakulalelanga. Uhlale ukhala ngakho konke. IMA. YEKELA UKUQHUBEKA.
9) “Qonda ukuthi indodana ikhetha unkosikazi wayo ngoba yindlela isintu esisebenza ngayo.”
Abantu bayashada futhi babe nezingane. Khona-ke lezo zingane ziyakhula, zishade nabantu, bese ziba nezingane. Khona-ke lezo zingane zihlangana nabantu, zishade futhi zibe nezingane. Indodana yakho iyingxenye “yokushada futhi ube nezingane” yempilo yayo. Kuvamile lokho. Kungani uzama ukufaka unyawo lwakho kuwo?
10). “Khuluma ngemizwa yakho kahle futhi ngaphandle kwama-jibes kanye ne-chakoo:
Yeka ukuba nolaka nokulimaza indodana yakho nomkayo ngokukhubeka kwakho benecala nokuhlambalaza. Akekho othanda lokho. Wonke umuntu uyakhumbula ukuthi ubazwise ubuhlungu. Akekho othanda ukuchitha isikhathi nawe. Bavele bakubekezelele ngoba ungumuntu onomoya omubi ovele uhlohle abantu ngezinhlamba ezincane njalo. Kungani ungeke ube ngumuntu ojwayelekile futhi ukhulume ngokujwayelekile? Awukaze ufunde ukuthi ujwayelekile kanjani?
11). “Cabangela izimo:”
Indodana yakho yashada. Uqala impilo yakhe entsha manje. Leso yisimo sakhe esisha. Kucabangele lokho.
12). “Gwema ukucasuka:”
Lapho uvumela ukuthi kukhule engqondweni yakho ukuthi indodana yakho IQINISEKILE ukusekela nokuthanda unkosikazi wayo omusha…. kulapho uzilimaza kakhulu. Vele uyeke ukuphatheka kabi ngakho. Niyabona ukuthi kulula kanjani? Vele ulawule imizwa yakho edabukisayo, futhi izonyamalala. Isiko lethu lamaNdiya alikholelwa “enganekwaneni” yempilo yengqondo. LOL. Iyini impilo yengqondo? Imizwa emihle ngokumelene nemizwa emibi? Lawa ma-gora nemibono yawo ewumbudane LOL. Cha. Impilo Yengqondo iyinganekwane isiyonke. Uma unokucindezeleka, vele umomotheke, futhi ukucindezeleka kuzophela. Kulula kakhulu! Ngakho-ke lapho uzizwa ucasukile ukuthi indodana yakho ithanda umkakhe ngokweqile…. kalula KHETHA ukumisa imizwa ecasulayo… futhi ukucasuka kuzophela! Niyabo? Njengoba nje esinye isihloko sasho. LOL.
Lapho. Ngikunike okuqukethwe okuningi kwe-Bonobology. Bhala indatshana ukusiza Omama abanamathele ngokweqile ukuthi kufanele babe omama ABAHLE ngokufundisa indodana yabo ukuthi igxile kakhulu empilweni yayo entsha. Qhubeka. Ake sibone isihloko.
Isizukulwane esisha samantombazane sihluke kakhulu kunesidala. Futhi baxabana nohlobo lukaMamezala oludala, olunobugovu. Abesifazane abasakubekezeleli lokhu mbhedo. Uma ufuna ukubhala okuqukethwe OKUSIZA abantu NAMUHLA… ungawathukuthelisi lawa makhosikazi ampofu ngokubatshela ukuthi imizwa yawo ayilungile futhi bonke omamezala baqinisile ukubusa isikhathi sendodana.
Yenza okuthile okuwusizo. Bhala isihloko njengoba ngichaze lapha. Uzosiza INDLELA abantu abaningi kunesinye isihloko sakho esidabukisayo nesidumazayo.
Sawubona. Bekumele ngenze i-akhawunti ukuze ngikuphendule. Ngajabula kakhulu. Ngivumelana nawe ngamaphesenti angu-100. Mama, kufanele UYEKE ukuvakashela indodana yakho, ngempela! Lol. Kodwa lesi sihloko sasiwusizo kimi ngoba indoda yami yaseNdiya eneminyaka engu-40 ebengiyibona isivele ikhona, uyazi, igezwe ubuchopho ngaleyo ndlela, iqiniso elibhalwe esihlokweni ngeke lishintshe. Umndeni wakhe (kwami, udadewabo nomyeni wakhe, abazala abaningi kanye nomama wakhe) kuzoba okubaluleke kakhulu, isikhathi. Wayezohambela izimo eziphuthumayo ze-masala jar nakanjani. Ucabanga ukuthi uzongilalela? Ucabanga ukuthi uzoletha isitsha sokuvula izimbiza ukuze bakwazi ukuzilawula bodwa? Cha, ngoba ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, ufuna ukuthatha ithuba futhi achithe isikhathi nonina noma udadewabo, ngicabanga.
Ngigcine ngayigcina le ngosi ngoba isoka lami selihambe izinsuku ezi-4 ngenxa “yezimo eziphuthumayo” zomlamu wakhe. Ubesanda kuvakashela idolobha lethu ngomsebenzi. Ngakhala izinsuku ezimbili njengengane. Ngiyini uma isoka lami libeka kuqala umkhwenyana wakhe futhi lingahoxisi nje kuphela isikhathi esisiqokiwe kodwa futhi lingaphenduli imibhalo yami? Ngingamkholwa kanjani uma engitshela ukuthi uyangithanda? Angicabangi ukuthi uyakwenza, akunjalo? kodwa ingabe kwakuyinto evamile ukuba aye ekhweni lakhe ngesikhathi ehlala? Ingabe kufana nento eyimpoqo?! Angazi ngempela, kodwa ngizwa umoya we-masala onesinongo utshela- “okuningi okuzayo, lokhu ukuncenga kuphela”.
Kuleli qophelo, engingakwenza ukwamukela konke lokhu noma ngicele ibhalansi efanele ukuze ngithole ukunakwa kwakhe okungenakuqhathaniswa lapho ngidinga eyodwa uma ngifuna ukuqhubeka nokuthandana naye, akunjalo? Ngeke kube lula njengentombazane yaseJapan lapho omalume babethi kuyisono kubantu abadala ukuntshontsha isikhathi sabasha.
Lesi sihloko besifaneleka isimo sami kodwa singasho futhi ukuthi amasiko amadala axakile kumele asuswe yisizukulwane sethu. Ake sihloniphe kakhulu unkosikazi omncane wendodana yakho wakusasa ngoba unakekela umama wakho womfana kanye nje ngifinyelele esikhathini sami. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, ngifisele inhlanhla.