Amathiphu ayi-10 Asebenzayo Okuziqhelelanisa Nabasekhweni 

Nakuba umshado ungaba yisahluko esihle nesanelisayo empilweni yakho, njenganoma yibuphi ubuhlobo besikhathi eside, ufika nengxenye yawo yezinselele. Inselele enkulu futhi, mhlawumbe, enzima kakhulu ukubhekana nabasemzini. Ikakhulukazi uma abasekhweni bakho benobuthi futhi bekhala noma bekugxeka ngokungaphezi. Esimweni esinjalo, ungase uthande ukucabangela ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini ukuze uthole ukuthula kwengqondo nempilo yomshado wakho.

Manje, khumbula, ukuqhela kanye nokusika abasekhweni abanobuthi ngokuphelele kuyizinto ezimbili ezihlukene. Nakuba lokhu kwakamuva kungase kubonakale kuyindlela ekhanga kakhulu, akuyona inketho enengqondo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Abasemzini bakho bayoba yingxenye yempilo yakho ngendlela ethile noma ngendlela ethile, futhi kufanele ugcine inhlonipho nesithunzi kubo, ngisho noma ungakutholi futhi. 

Ukubheja kwakho okuhle ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini ngokubeka imingcele embalwa futhi unciphise ukuthintana kwakho nabo kuyilapho ugcina ubudlelwano obuhle nobuhloniphekile. Ukugcina ibanga elinempilo kuzosiza izinhlangothi zombili futhi kungase, mhlawumbe, kuqinise ubuhlobo bakho nozakwenu kanye nabasemzini. Silapha ukuze sikusize uthole ukuthi ungenza kanjani le bhalansi ethambile. 

Isikhathi Sokucabanga Ukuziqhelelanisa Nabasekhweni

Kuphela uma besinamandla okukhetha abasemzini wethu! Kodwa ngokudabukisayo, asinawo. Ngokuzenzakalelayo, bayingxenye yephakheji yomshado. Uma unenhlanhla, abasemzini wakho bangaba abantu abanomusa nabanomusa kakhulu emhlabeni. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukubhekana nabasemzini wakho abakhohlisayo kungayilimaza kakhulu impilo yakho yengqondo kanye nenhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungcono uma uhlola ngokucophelela ukuxhumana kwakho nabo bese uqala ukuzihlukanisa nabasemzini wakho.

Abakhwenyana abanobuthi baziphatha ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ezikhathini eziningi basuke bethanda ukugodola ngoba bezizwa besongelwa nguwe bese kuba yilapho abasekhweni bekukhipha ezingxoxweni zomndeni, ezingxoxweni nasezingxoxweni, kukwenze uzizwe uyisihambi emshadweni wakho. Noma bangase bagxeke ngokweqile kukho konke okwenzayo. Kwezinye izimo, abasekhweni baqala ukugxambukela ebuhlotsheni bakho nomngane wakho womshado, bezama ngamabomu ukubangela ukungezwani nokungezwani. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokukhuluma Nomyeni Wakho Uma Omunye Owesifazane Engunina Wakhe

Uma ungathola umsuka wokuziphatha kwabo okunobutha, ungase ukwazi nje ukulungisa ubudlelwano futhi wakhe isibopho esiqinile nabo. Nokho, lapho ubhekene nobunzima obunjalo, kungase kube nzima ukubheka isimo ngendlela efanele. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uma abasekhweni bakho benobuthi futhi bengafuni ukubuyisela imizamo yakho yokulungisa ubudlelwano, akukho ongakwenza ngaphandle kokusebenzela ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini. Manje, umbuzo uthi wazi kanjani ukuthi kufanele uqhubeke nini uzama ukulungisa uthango nokuthi kufanele ucabange nini ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini? Nazi izimpawu ezimbalwa eziyisixwayiso ezingakusiza ukuthi unqume:

• Bazama ukukuxabanisa wena nomlingani wakho: Uma abasekhweni bakho benobuthi, bayohlala bezama ukwenza wena nomlingani wakho niphikisane ngezinto ezingasho lutho. Umphumela? Ugcina ulwa nomyeni ngenxa yabasekhweni noma ubudlelwano bakho nomkakho buba muncu ngenxa yokugxambukela ekhweni lakho.
• Balawula impilo yakho yomshado: Uma abasekhweni bephazamisa izinqumo zenu njengabashadikazi, ninenkinga. Abasekhweni abanobuthi ungalindela ukuthi wena noshade naye niphile impilo yenu ngendlela eniyifunayo. Kuyindlela yabo yokusebenzisa ukulawula impilo yakho nomshado wakho
• Bahlezi bekubeka phansi: Uma behlala bethola iphutha kukho konke okwenzayo, bakubeke phansi phambi kwabanye, bakuzwise ubuhlungu ngamabomu, noma uziphathe sengathi awukho, kuwuphawu ukuthi abasekhweni bakho banobuthi futhi udinga ukuba kude nabo.
• Bahleba ngawe ungekho: Abasemzini abangahloniphi bavame ukukhuluma kabi noma ukuhleba ngawe kwabanye abantu - abangani, izihlobo, omakhelwane, nanoma ubani ozimisele ukulalela - uma ungekho.
• Abahloniphi ubumfihlo bakho noma imingcele: Ingabe abasekhweni bakho bafika bengashongo? Ingabe bahlale bekutshela okufanele ukwenze nendlela okufanele uziphathe ngayo? Uma kunjalo, kuwuphawu oluqinisekile lobuthi. Kufanele ucabange ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini futhi ubeke imingcele enempilo

Ukuziqhelelanisa Nabasekhweni — Amathiphu ayi-10 Acishe Asebenza

Udinga imingcele ukuze ulondoloze ubudlelwano obuhle, hhayi nje kuphela nabalingani bothando kodwa futhi nabangani, umndeni, omakhelwane, noma osebenza nabo. Ubudlelwano obabelana nabo nabasemzini wakho abuhlukile. Ukuthi le mingcele ibukeka kanjani kuncike ohlotsheni lwesilinganiso owabelana ngaso nabo. Uma ubudlelwano bubuhle, imingcele ingasho ukunquma ukuthi yiziphi izingxenye zempilo yakho yomshado owabelana ngazo nabasemzini wakho (noma ngisho nomndeni wakho, uma kunjalo). Kodwa uma ubudlelwano bunzima noma abasemzini bengahloniphi , imingcele ingaba ngokuziqhelelanisa nabo.

Ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini akusho ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana noma ukuxhumana. Ngaphandle uma kunjalo, ukuguquguquka kuyinkinga kangangokuthi awuboni enye indlela yokunqamula abasekhweni abanobuthi. Ezimweni eziningi, kusho ukukhawulela ukuxhumana ngendlela yokuthi kungabikho ukuphazamiseka okuvela ohlangothini lwabo ezindabeni ezingabathinti. Kodwa nalokho kungaba ukuhamba ngentambo eqinile. Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi awugcini ngokuhlukanisa noma ucasula othile kule nqubo (ikakhulukazi oshade naye), nanka amathiphu angu-10 okuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini ahlala esebenza:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-10 Zokuhlaba Umkhwekazi Wakho Wesikhathi Esizayo

1. Qiniseka ukuthi uyakwesekwa umlingani wakho

Abakwenu bangabantu ababili ababaluleke kakhulu empilweni yomlingani wakho, ngakho qaphela amazwi akho uma ukhuluma nomngane wakho womshado ngabazali bakhe. Owakwakho kufanele azi ukuthi udonsa kanzima kubantu bakubo kodwa ungenzi kuzwakale sengathi uyadelela noma ubasola nganoma iyiphi indlela ngoba lokho kungase kubeke umlingani wakho ekuzivikeleni. Khumbula, lesi sinqumo sisho ukuthola ukuthi ungaziqhelelanisa kanjani nomndeni futhi lokho akulula neze, ngakho udinga ukuya kule ngxoxo ngokuvuthiwe. 

Lapho ukhuluma ngesihloko sokuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini, khuluma iqiniso ngendlela ozizwa ngayo, chaza izizathu zakho futhi, ngesikhathi esifanayo, ulalele ukuthi bathini. Umlingani wakho angase athukuthele noma amangazwe futhi kungokwemvelo ngokuphelele. Qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma ngemicabango yakho ngenhlonipho. Zinike isikhathi sokucubungula lonke ulwazi. Ungehli endaweni eshelelayo yokulwa nomyeni ngenxa yabasekhweni noma uxabene nomkakho ngenxa yomndeni wakhe. Akukho lutho olungcono kunokwesekwa kozakwethu ezikhathini ezifana nalezi. 

URegina Wilkey, umeluleki, ukhulume nathi ngesipiliyoni sakhe sokubhekana nabasemzini , “Yize abasemzini wami behlala amahora amane kude nathi, bahileleke kakhulu empilweni yami neyomyeni wami. Ngazama ukubashiya futhi ngigweme imicimbi yomndeni kanye nezingcingo kodwa sebeqala ukukugxeka lokho. Kukho konke lokhu, okuwukuphela kwento eyenza izinto zibe lula ukusekelwa nguJohn. Lapho engivikela, angisazizwa kabi. Futhi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ngihlala ngimtshela obala ukukhathazeka kwami.”

2. Misa futhi usebenzise imingcele enempilo

Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuziqhelelanisa nabasekhweni ukubeka nokuqinisekisa imingcele enempilo. Qiniseka ukuthi uxoxa ngaleyo mingcele nomlingani wakho, uxoxe ngalokho okubalulekile nalokho okukusebenzelayo, njengombhangqwana, bese nixoxa ngalokho nabasekhweni. Nonke kudingeka nibe sekhasini elifanayo. Nazi ezinye izibonelo zokuthi ukubeka imingcele nabasekhweni kungase kubukeke kanjani:

• Awufuni ukuthi abasekhweni bakho babonakale emnyango wakho ngaphandle kwesaziso? Batshele ukuthi uncamela ukwaziswa kusenesikhathi
• Uma begxambukela kakhulu endleleni yakho yokukhulisa izingane, batshele ngesizotha kodwa ngokuqinile ukuthi uyasijabulela iseluleko kodwa akuyona indawo yabo yokungenelela futhi ungathanda ukusisingatha ngendlela yakho.
• Uma benomkhuba wokuhlola amakhabethe noma imibhalo yakho, batshele ukuthi indawo yakho yangasese futhi ungafuna bayihloniphe.
• Ukuze ulinganisele, tholani uhlelo lokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye njengomkhaya ngezikhathi ezamukelekayo kuwo wonke umuntu ohilelekile

3. Shintsha indlela oxhumana ngayo nabo

Njengoba besho, awukwazi ukufundisa inja endala amaqhinga amasha. Abasemzini wakho, sebefinyelele eminyakeni ethile, mhlawumbe bazimisele kakhulu ukwazisa omunye umbono futhi lokho kuvame ukuba yimbangela yezingxabano emndenini . Enye indlela yokubhekana nakho ukushintsha indlela oxhumana ngayo nabo. Uma ukuzama ukuveza iphuzu lakho kuholela ekungezwani nasekuxabaneni, ungakwenzi lokho.

Akudingekile ukuthi uchaze noma ubeke izizathu zokukhetha kwakho kunoma ubani, kuhlanganisa nomndeni wakho owandisiwe

Yebo, lokho kusho ukwakha isikhumba esiwugqinsi kanye nendlela yokubuyela emuva kwedada-manzi ukuze uthole iseluleko sabo sokubelesela, ukugxeka, noma iseluleko esingaceliwe, kodwa kungenza izimangaliso kancane kancane kodwa ngokuqinisekile ukuwela umlayezo wokuthi uzohola impilo yakho ngendlela obona kufanele. 

4. Ungabavumeli bagxambukele ebudlelwaneni benu 

Uma ubulokhu ulwa nomyeni wakho ngenxa yabasemzini noma ubudlelwano bakho nomkakho bunezinkinga ngenxa yomndeni wakhe, kungenzeka ukuthi bebelokhu bengenelela ebuhlotsheni bakho nomlingani wakho. Nakuba ukuthola indlela yokuzihlukanisa nomndeni akulula neze, kulokhu, ukugcina ubudlelwano bakho buyimfihlo kuyadingeka.

Uma ubuhlobo bakho nabasemzini bukuvumela, xoxa nabo ngokuqondile, phambi komngane wakho womshado, ngomthelela omubi wesifiso sokuba nezwi emshadweni wakho. Ngenhlonipho kodwa ngokugomela, batshele ukuthi udinga ukuthi bahlehle ngenxa yawo wonke umuntu ohilelekile. Uma kungenakwenzeka ukuba nengxoxo evuthiwe nabo, cela oshade naye ukuba abe umxhumanisi ekudluliseleni lokhu. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-8 Zomkhwekazi Onobuthi

5. Isikhathi somndeni? Namathela ohlelweni

Qiniseka ukuthi unamathela ohlelweni lokuchitha isikhathi nabasemzini wakho. Uma nje ukusebenzisana phakathi kwezinhlangothi zombili kumnandi futhi kukhululekile, ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye njengomkhaya akufanele kube inkinga. Qinisekisa ukuthi izinhlelo zenziwa kusenesikhathi ukugwema ukuvakashelwa okungamenyezelwanga. Amapikiniki, ukudla kwakusihlwa komndeni, kanye nemibuthano kaKhisimusi noma ye-Thanksgiving amnandi njalo ngemva kwesikhashana kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abasekhweni bangahlanya kangakanani.

Nakuba ukuhlala kude nabasemzini noma ekhweni kuyisinqumo esisemthethweni, ungabakhanseli njalo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ungayekethisi ezinhlelweni zakho noma esimisweni sakho ukuze uvumelane nezabo. Isibonelo, uma ubuhlele ukuchitha uKhisimusi ekhaya labazali bakho, namathela kukho. Ungavumeli abasemzini noma ekhweni lakho baphazamise ngoba nje benqume ngomzuzu wokugcina ukuthi bangathanda uma uchitha amaholide nabo.

Kuzothumela umlayezo ocacile wokuthi abakwazi ukuvele bahambe phezu kwezinhlelo zakho noma balindele ukuthi uhlale wenza izinto ngendlela yabo. Futhi, uma izingxoxo embuthanweni womndeni zixaka noma zikwenza uzizwe ungakhululekile, zikhiphe bese uchitha leso sikhathi nomngane wakho womshado kanye nezingane esikhundleni salokho. Ngisho noma lokho kuthumela umlayezo ocacile wokuthi ucasukile noma awujabulile, kuseyindlela ehloniphekile yokukwenza kunokugxeka.

6. Ungathathi ama-jibes abo siqu

Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okufanele uyikhumbule uma ucabanga ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini ukuthi ungathathi noma yini abakushoyo noma abayenzayo mathupha. Ukuze ube nokuthula kwengqondo, shaya indiva imibono engemihle kanye nokuhlekisayo okujikijelwa wena noma izingane zakho noma owakwakho. Siyakuqonda ukuthi kungaba nzima kangakanani kodwa kuyadingeka nje ukugcina ukuthula.

U-Adrian, umnikazi wesitolo sekhofi ohlala eWisconsin nomkakhe, usitshele ngendlela acabanga ukuthi abazali bomkakhe bayamhleka usulu njalo. “Baqhubeka bengibiza ngokuthi ‘i-barista’ futhi nakuba ngingakhathali, umkhwekazi wami ukwenza njalo futhi umamezala wami ophazamisayo uhlala eneziphakamiso zomsebenzi anganginika zona. Odadewethu bomyeni wami nabo baqhubeka nokuhlekisa ngomsebenzi wami, bezama ukungilulaza. Ngingumnikazi webhizinisi futhi ngijabule kakhulu ngalokho engikwenzayo. Ngakho-ke manje angibanaki abasemzini wami. Ngiyamomotheka noma nini lapho besho izinto ezinjalo futhi angiphenduli.”

7. Gwema ukuxabana 

Akungabazeki ukuthi abasemzini wakho bayingozi uma bekwenza uzizwe ungelutho noma bekugxeka njalo , bethola amaphutha kukho konke okwenzayo - umsebenzi, isitayela sokukhulisa izingane, indlela ophatha ngayo indlu yakho, njalo njalo. Siyazi ukuthi kungakhungathekisa kanjani ukubekezelela lokho. Kodwa-ke, ukubavumela bakuphathe kabi futhi ulahlekelwe umoya ngeke kusize ngalutho.

Ngakho-ke, yenza okusemandleni akho ukugwema ukuxabana nabo. Zikhumbuze, idina nje le-Thanksgiving, uhambo lomndeni, noma impelasonto okufanele uyiqede. Kungcono ukuthi uhlale uzolile futhi ungakunaki ukugconwa noma ukugxekwa okuza kuwe. Gwema izihloko ezingase zisebenze njengezibasi noma eziholela ezingxabano.

Abazala bakho bazozama ukukhetha ithambo nawe ngomzamo wokuthola ukusabela ukuze baphinde bakhombe iminwe ekuziphatheni kwakho. Ungabaniki lokho kweneliseka. Qina ekuphenduleni kwakho kodwa ugcine imizwa yakho ilawulwa.

8. Batshele uma iseluleko sabo singahambelani nendlela yakho yokuphila 

“O, kodwa osukwini lwethu, thina…” Noma yimuphi umusho oqala ngala magama — noma okuthile okunjalo — ngokungenakugwenywa uholela eselulekweni esingacelwanga mayelana nokukhetha kwakho impilo, indlela ophatha ngayo umzali, noma ukulungisa umshado . Kulula kakhulu ukugwinywa, bese kuqala idrama. Uphatheke kabi ngokuthi bakugxeka njalo, baphatheke kabi ngokuthi uphendule ngonya noma wenze inkulumo yokuhlekisa.

Ngakho-ke, yini ongayenza esimweni esinjalo ukuze ukhulule abasekhweni lakho kuze kube phakade? Noma nini lapho benikeza iseluleko bengasicelanga, ngesizotha batshele, “Hhayi-ke, ngiyajabula ukuthi lokho kukusize. Ngeshwa, akuhambisani nendlela yethu yokuphila.” Manje, asenzi zithembiso ukuthi ukwenza lokhu kanye kuzodlulisela umlayezo. Kodwa qhubeka ukuphindaphinda njalo, futhi ekugcineni, abasekhweni lakho bazothola umlayezo futhi uzothola ukuphumula okudingekile kakhulu ngokuphefumulela entanyeni yakho. 

9. Ungabheki kubo ukuze uthole ukugunyazwa noma ukuqinisekiswa 

Ngeke ukwazi ukufunda ukuthi ungaziqhelelanisa kanjani nomndeni ngaphandle kokuthi uyeke ukufuna ukugunyazwa noma ukuqinisekiswa kwawo. Manje, isidingo sokuvunyelwa abazali bethu (futhi lokho kusebenza ngezinga elithile kubakhwenyana) siqinile kithi. Ngakho-ke, wena nozakwenu kuzomele nizisebenzele ukuze niyeke ukudinga leyo “attagirl” noma “attaboy” kubo. 

Yenza umsebenzi odingekayo ukuze ufike lapho ungaqhubeka khona nokuphila, ngokuqiniseka ngezinkolelo zakho nezinqumo zakho, ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngemibono yabasemzini wakho. Yilapho-ke ubuyobe uphumelele ngempela ukuzihlukanisa nabasemzini wakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhlala nabasemzini wakho , eduze kwabo, noma kude kakhulu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imicabango Eyishumi Efika Engqondweni Yakho Lapho Umamezala Wakho Ekuvakasheleni

10. Gxila ekuphathweni buthule uma kungasebenzi

Lokhu kufanele kube yindlela yakho yokugcina. Uma kungekho okunye okusebenza kahle, cabanga ngokunqamula abasemzini abanobuthi ngokubaphatha ngokungakhulumisani nokubavalela ngaphandle kwempilo yakho. Uma abasemzini wakho benqaba ukulandela noma yimiphi imingcele oyibekile futhi beqhubeka nokuphazamisa izinqumo zakho kanye nempilo yomndeni wakho, thatha indlela yokwelapha ngokungakhulumisani.

Izothumela umlayezo ocacile futhi bangase bavele bayeke. Ungaphenduli kulokho abakushoyo noma indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Ungabanikezi amandla okulawula noma ukuphatha impilo yakho yomshado. Uma sebebonile ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo, imidlalo yengqondo, nezenzo zabo akukuthinti, bangase bame bakunikeze indawo yokuphefumula.

Umshado awukona nje ukuhamba epaki. Akubandakanyi abantu ababili nje kuphela kodwa imindeni emibili. Ngokungazelelwe uthwalwa umthwalo wemfanelo owengeziwe kanye nokulindelwe, futhi ukuzulazula kulobu budlelwano obusha kungaba nzima, ikakhulukazi uma kunguwe wedwa owenza umzamo. Ungasilahli. Asisho ukuthi bonke abasekhweni banobuthi noma abahloniphi. Kodwa, uma owakho uye wamunca impilo kuwe, asikho isidingo sokubeka isikhathi sakho nomzamo wakho ekwakheni isibopho esiqinile nabo. Uma ukuziqhelelanisa nabasemzini kunciphisa yonke idrama engadingekile futhi kuletha ukuthula emshadweni wakho, kwenze ngaphandle kokungabaza.

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