Indlela Esizixazulule Ngayo Izinkinga Zomshado Wezinkolo Ezihlangene Ngosuku Lwabazali lwango-2021

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Umshado oxube izinkolo usabhekene nokuphikiswa okuningi emphakathini wamaNdiya. Ngokusobala, isizathu esikhulu esenza imishado ehleliwe iphumelele eNdiya ukuhambisana ngokwenkolo nezigaba. Imindeni ihlangana kuphela uma umakoti nomkhwenyana bengabenkolo eyodwa nohlanga olulodwa. Kunamabhokisi athile okumele amakwe ngaphambi kokuthi imindeni emibili icabange ukuyisa umbimbi.

Ukungabi bikho kokuhambisana okunjalo kuwumnqamulajuqu ezindlini eziningi - njengami nje. Ngokujulile! Kwangithatha umshado wami nomuntu engimthandayo ukubona leli qiniso elibuhlungu. Futhi kungani, ubuza? Lokho kungenxa yokuthi indoda engashada nayo ingowohlanga nenkolo ehlukile.

Okwaqala njengokuklabalasa okuthambile nokungezwani okuncane phakathi kwabadala kuzo zombili izinhlangothi zomkhaya, ngokushesha kwaholela empini engapheli nentukuthelo, okwaholela ezinkingeni eziningi zomshado oxube izinkolo. NgoSuku Lwabazali lwango-2021, ngizokutshela ukuthi sibafundise kanjani abazali bethu isifundo sothando, ngenxa yomshado wethu oxube izinkolo.

Ukuxazulula Izinkinga Zemishado Exube Izinkolo

Okuqukethwe

Angikaze ngilindele ukuthi umqhudelwano wokudlala engawubona ngesikhathi somshado wethu wokuxuba izinkolo nebhola leqhwa ube yinkinga enkulu namuhla. Ngithukuthela ngisho ngicabanga ukuthi nakuba ngazi ukuthi abasoze babuyisana ngezindlela zabo, ekuqaleni babevumelene ngokuthi asishade.

Ngezansi kwengaphandle elipholile, eliphucuziwe labazali banamuhla abasekela inkululeko kunezingqimba zobubi neminyaka yokuphila komphakathi ezisongwe zaqina emathanjeni abo. Lapho sishada, umkhaya wamaKristu wawuyigwema i-mangalsutra, kodwa umHindu wawuzimisele kimi nginewodwa entanyeni yami.

Noma kunjalo, bekungeke yini kube ukuhlakanipha ukube baziqhelelanisa nokuthonya indlela umndeni 'wethu' okufanele usebenze ngayo ngaphakathi kwezindonga zekhaya lethu? Futhi lokhu kwakumane kuyisiqalo sakho. Izinkinga zemishado exube izinkolo ziningi, njengoba sizofunda ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ukuganana kwezinkolo — Izingqimba zobubi kanye neminyaka yokuhlalisana kahle kwaba yimbangela yezinkinga zemishado exube izinkolo

Indlela engcono kakhulu yokunqoba izingxabano ukukugwema

Mangingakutsheli ukuthi ngingumKristu noma ngingumHindu, ngoba akusho lutho. Hhayi okungenani kithi. Selokhu ngaba neminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalombili, bengilokhu ngikholelwa ukuthi uNkulunkulu akaziwa futhi ngingumuntu ongakholelwa kuNkulunkulu. Inkolo yayeka ukudlala indima ethile ekuphileni kwami.

Nakuba ngangikuthanda lokho uRichard Dawkins abhala ngakho, ngakhetha ukulalela amazwi kaDale Carnegie. Nguye owangifundisa ukuthi ‘indlela engcono kakhulu yokunqoba ingxabano ukuyigwema’! Akusho ukuthi, njengamantombazane amaningi afunda kahle anamuhla, ngithola ubufazi futhi kuyisiqalo nje. Kusenendlela ende, ende ngempela okufanele siyihambe njengesizwe nanjengabantu nje jikelele. Ngithukuthela ngakho konke okwenzeka eduze kwami, nsuku zonke.

Njengoba sengazi futhi ngiqonda kangcono manje mayelana nendlela amasiko namasiko emishadweni ahambisana ngayo nezinzalamizi, ukuphikisana kwabesifazane kunamandla engqondweni yami ukugwema i-mangalsutra, nakuba bengingayamukela ngenjabulo ingxenye yezenkolo ewubuwula ukuze kujabulise imindeni eyayizabalaza ngendlela yayo siqu ukuze ivumelane nomqondo womshado wezithandani ezixube izinkolo.

Ngangifuna ukulondoloza ukuthula

Nakuba kuvutha umlilo engqondweni yami ngakho konke okwenzekayo, amasiko amadala esenziwa ukuba sidlule kuwo, indlela engalingani ngayo yonke inqubo yomshado wombhangqwana oxube izinkolo, ngandlela-thile ngiyakwazi ukubeka 'ukubekezela, ingaphandle elipholile futhi, ngamukele izindlela zesizwe sakithi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiluphi uhlangothi lothango lomshado engikulo - ngenxa yokuntula ukufaneleka.

Ngilubize ngocingo lomshado? Ngezinye izikhathi kuba sengathi imikhaya yethu yomibili ifana namazwe alwayo ahlukaniswe ngamamayela othango oluhlabayo nolufakwe ugesi. Ngazizwa kanjalo, futhi kwakuminyanisa okungapheli.

Woza imikhosi, izinto ziba nzima nakakhulu. Futhi ngangingenangqondo, ngenxa yokuntuleka kwegama elingcono, ngisho nokucabanga ukuthi imikhosi izoqhubeka nokuba mnandi. Njengombhangqwana oxube izinkolo, izinto azisoze zaba lula kithi.

umshado wezithandani ezixube izinkolo — Ukungezwani kwezenkolo kwaba iphuzu elibi phakathi kwemindeni

Kunemiyalelo ecacile evela ezinhlangothini zombili zomndeni mayelana 'nendlela' yokuwugubha. Ngezinsuku zamaHindu zokuzila ukudla, ngaphoqeleka ukuba ngilambe, kunalokho, ngilambe ukuya emsebenzini, futhi ngenyanga yobuKristu yeLente, ngacelwa ukuba ngizile ukudla. Babefuna ukubona ukuthi saya ngaluphi uhlangothi.

Ekujuleni kwami, kwakungikhathaza. Ngokuqwashisa ngenhlalo kuza nentukuthelo nokungabekezelelani esekisini lezenkolo elalisenzeka eduze kwami. Bebulimaza ubudlelwano bami nomyeni wami - owaqhubeka engazithinti futhi emamatheka futhi wakudlulisa njengokuphazanyiswa okungenangozi, 'okumnandi'.

Waze wazivikela ngomndeni wakhe uma kukhulunywa ngokuziphatha kwabo kwezenkolo nokushova okungayeki ukuyeka, futhi wayekhula nje emzamweni wokuhambisana nesilinganiso sokusangana komndeni wami.

Samelana nakho konke, futhi ngaleyo ndlela, iminyaka emi-2 yomshado wethu oxube izinkolo yadlula, kanjalo nje. Ngisho noma kwakuthinta umshado wethu, ngezindlela ezingaphezu kweyodwa, saqhubeka siqinile futhi sisothandweni kakhulu njengenhlalayenza.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-12 Zokubhebhana Nomkhwekazi Onomona

Izingxabano zaba zinde

Phakathi nonyaka wesithathu womshado wethu, mina nomyeni wami saqala ukuxabana isikhathi eside. Saqala ukuba nenqwaba yezimpi ezicishe zibe ngamanqindi ngenxa yezihloko zenkolo. Ngethuka kakhulu, ngathola nokuthi ubelokhu enyakaza intshi ngentshi eya ohlangothini lomndeni wakubo olandela imithetho. Yeka ukuguquka okumnyama kumuntu wakhe we-iconoclastic, onomoya okhululekile.

Lokhu kushintsha komyeni wami, kwabacasula abazali bami, bafuna 'ngiphinde kabili'. Ngakho, ngonyaka wesithathu, umshado wami wehliselwa umncintiswano, ngenxa yemindeni yethu yomibili, futhi waba umdlalo, lapho ngangingazi ukuthi ubani owayephethe ukubala ibhodi lamaphuzu.

Esakwenza ekugcineni

Ngomcimbi woSuku Lwabazali lwango-2021, sinqume ukuthi sekwanele. Ngemva kwempi enkulu ngempela ehilela ukumemeza, ukubhodlozwa kweminyango, nokukhala izinyembezi, uthando oluthile oluyinqaba lwasihlanganisa. Sazizwa sisondelene isikhashana. Kulapho sanquma ukucisha omakhalekhukhwini bethu kanye thatha ikhefu langempela.

Futhi angikwazi ukuqala ukukhuluma ngokuthi lelo khefu lalidingeka kangakanani.

Ngemva kokuthumela umlayezo kubazali bobabili ukuthi sisahlabe ikhefu (sivela kubo, kunjalo!), sahamba ngemoto saya esiteshini esiseduze sasezintabeni. Sasihlanganyela imisebenzi yokushayela, sidlala izingoma zezinsuku zethu zasekolishi, futhi sicula nolayini ndawonye. Ngemva kokungena endaweni enhle yokungcebeleka, salala amahora ayishumi. Lapho sivuka sigone omunye nomunye, sasizizwa sizolile, futhi singcono.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu angu-12 okusindisa ngempumelelo umshado ophukile

Ekugcineni sakuthola ukuthula

Esakwenza ngokulandelayo kwakuyinto okwakudingeka yenziwe kudala. Kodwa kungcono sekwephuzile kunanini ngaphambili, akunjalo?

Sashiya ama-e-mail emahhovisi ethu, sicela amahlamvu, sahlala ezinye izinsuku ezintathu futhi saqala ukuba nezingxoxo 'ezivamile' ezingenamakhalekhukhwini, njengoba kwakunjalo ngawo-1990. Kuyahlekisa ukuthi silahlekelwa malini ngenxa yezimpilo zethu ezidijithali ngokweqile. Sivame ukukhohlwa ukwazisa nokuphila ngokusebenzisa izinto ezilula neziyisisekelo zokuphila.

Ayisekho i-WhatsApp eya phambili evela emaqenjini ethu 'omndeni' noma imilayezo yangasese evela kubazali ukuletha owakwakho okholweni 'lwethu'. Saphuma sahamba sachitha isikhathi nemvelo! Sahamba ngezinyawo, savakashela ithempeli nesonto ngosuku olufanayo, futhi ngokumangalisayo, asitholanga mehluko. Sahlela ukuba nesikhathi esimnandi futhi senza.

Izikhathi ezimbili zakusihlwa ezinde, sasizungeza ichibi sibambene ngezandla, futhi sasibhalelana izincwadi zothando lwangempela. Bekuyimpelasonto yethu emnandi ngempela! Lapho sibuyela emuva, sanquma ukuhlanganisa imikhaya yomibili ukuze ibe nenkulumo. Leyo kwakuyiyona ndlela kuphela yokuphinde sibe yithi, ngendlela esasiyiyo ngenkathi siqala ukuthandana.

Kungase kukuhlekisa, kodwa size safometha incwadi yokudlala enamaphuzu ayishumi yokubekezelela inkolo yomibili imindeni okufanele ibambelele kukho! Ngokujulile! Izingqondo zethu manje sezihlangene, futhi zicwebile. Futhi, asikwazi ukulinda ukubheka phambili esahlukweni esihle esilandelayo esaqala ohambweni!

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Mingaki imishado exube izinkolo ephela ngesehlukaniso?

Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuhamba emshadweni ukudlula kuwo. Isehlukaniso ngokuvamile siyisinqumo somuntu siqu lapho abantu abadala ababili benquma ukwehlukana. Uma kukhona uthando olwanele kanye nokuqondana nokwamukelana kwabantu abadala emshadweni oxube izinkolo, asiboni ukuthi kungani kufanele kube nesehlukaniso.

2. Uwenza kanjani umshado wezinkolo ezahlukene?

Ayikho indlela elungile noma engalungile yokwenza umshado oxube izinkolo. Njengoba lokhu kuyinqubo eyinkimbinkimbi futhi kungase kube nokungqubuzana kwezithakazelo, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuba nomshado oxube izinkolo iwukuba imindeni yomibili ixhumane ngazo zonke izici zayo futhi ithathe izinqumo ngokuvumelana nesivumelwano.

3. Inkolo iwuthinta kanjani umshado?

Njengoba sishilo, izinkinga zomshado wokuxuba izinkolo zizovela kuphela lapho uzivumela. Uma ningabantu abangokomoya, yizani esinqumweni sobabili mayelana nokuthi nizoqhubeka kanjani nezinto ezingokomoya zomunye nomunye. Ayikho indlela engcono yokuqhubekela phambili kunokuxhumana nokucaca.

Uthando oluthule kodwa oluhlala njalo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi

Ingabe silindele okukhulu kakhulu kwabalingani bethu bomshado?

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.